


Oceanbound

by softjohndae



Series: Stories Sung in the Sunken Sailor's Inn [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Character Deaths, Pirates, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Supernatural Elements, none of the boys don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2020-11-23 19:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 222,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softjohndae/pseuds/softjohndae
Summary: Blue, all around him. Boundless amounts of blue, all the way to the horizon, where the cloudless sky met the sea. Little islands dotted the view, Felix could see the outline of another ship far away from them. The wind swept his orange locks away from his face, made his eyes water. Sunshine sparkled against the sea, nearly blinding Felix. Laughter bubbled up from the depths of his chest. Felix wanted to let go of the mast, spread his arms and shout from the top of his lungs.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the first ever chapter of Oceanbound! Some disclaimers, before you dive into the story; 
> 
> 1\. Some characters may appear to say or do villainous things, but that does not mean I have anything against that person in real life. Also, remain conscious that the characters in my fic and the real people remain separate entities (with the exception of my own ocs), characters are characters and people are people!  
2\. Trigger warnings will be mentioned in the beginning of the chapter, if there are any. Though, keep in mind, that this story is about pirates - not every act of violence will be warned about.  
3\. This story, while trying to remain somewhat true to the place and time it is set (roughly 17th-18th century), is still not in any way historically correct. It is a work of fantasy, and shouldn't be taken too seriously. 
> 
> With all that being said, feel free to dive in beneath the surface, or climb up the shrouds of the ship, feel the sea breeze in your hair and up and above all, enjoy the world of Oceanbound! 
> 
> Update September 2020: Woojin has been removed from this fic. 
> 
> Update July 2020: I've created an Oceanbound playlist on Spotify! The link for that is down below! If you don't have a Spotify but wish to listen to the playlist, hmu on the comments or Twitter or Curiouscat and I will send you a list of the songs! 
> 
> [oceanbound playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5HfkMeMwaHTL6KA9LcIR4p?si=-ZE-oOg8QGiOydoDOwbgjw)  
[twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)
> 
> (TW: First chapter contains very slight mentions of domestic abuse)

”Oh the wind was foul and the sea ran high,  
leave her, Johnny, leave her;  
She shipped it green and none went by,  
and it’s time for us to leave her.  
Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
Oh leave her, Johnny, leave her!

For the voyage is long and the winds don’t blow;  
and it’s time for us to leave her.”

An orange-haired boy sat on his stool, gazing longingly at the sea view in front of him while humming an old song he had heard the day before some sailors singing on their way to the port. The boy rested his chin against his palm, an open book on the table in front of him, but his attention was definitely not on the history book, nor on the person behind him, talking about some man called Aristotle and his findings in the fine art of philosophy.

”I hate to sail on this rotte-” 

The professor whacked him on the back of his head.  
”Felix! Focus! You’re not getting out of here before you remember the important events of the ancient Greece!” Felix, the orange-haired boy sighed and averted his eyes from the horizon to the book before him. Meaningless words after meaningless words, why was history so darn important? It wasn’t like they lived in it! They lived in the present! Felix just couldn’t wrap his head around as to why he had to learn these things when he could be learning something actually important, like fencing. Or French. French got you to places, at least according to Felix’s professor.

”Who’s Johnny anyway?” Felix mumbled and slouched against the backrest.  
”I don’t know, nor do I care and neither should you. And you shouldn’t be singing those songs, they’re pirate songs. Only God knows what will happen if your father finds out you know them!” his professor scoffed, before returning to his lecture about Aristotle and his apprentices. 

Felix’s professor was an old man, born in London, moved to Port Royal in his twenties and worked for the governor as a teacher for his children. Then he had moved to Nassau when Felix’s father had offered him a job as Felix’s private teacher. Maybe his father paid him better than the governor in Port Royal, because Nassau sure as hell wasn’t a better place to live. Well, yeah, it was a nice little town, but Port Royal was the very center of the Caribbean Sea, and everything, literally everything even slightest bit interesting happened there. Not in Nassau. The professor was dressed like any other upper class man in the town – a gray wig, long and curled in the most ridiculous way, ribbons and ruffles everywhere, a royal blue waistcoat, some white breeches and stockings and black shoes with gilded buckles. 

Felix was no better. Luckily, he didn’t have a wig on, but he did have a ruffled collar, which felt uncomfortably suffocating in the heat of the mid-day, a white ruffled shirt with even more ruffles on the sleeves, a royal blue waistcoat, black breeches and white stockings, and the same kind of black shoes with gilded buckles as his professor. His coat was hanging from the coat rack next to the door. Felix hated the fact that he had to wear so much clothes just to show everyone else that yes, he was indeed the son of the governor, the only son at that, and he was somehow connected to the royal family. And everyone else was underneath him. In Felix’s eyes everyone was pretty much on the same line, trying to survive with what they got, but no, the whole world thought otherwise and Felix had to live with that. 

”Young mister Lee, are you listening to me at all?!” his professor, sir Ainsley practically yelled in his ear.  
”Yes! Yes! The ancient Greece was grumbled to the ground and the ancient Rome rose from its ashes!” he answered, way too theatrically, rolling his eyes as he spoke. His professor huffed, clearly fed up with Felix already and it wasn’t even an hour to their daily lessons. 

”Well, then. You clearly know the story of the ancient Greece, so you can write me an essay about the Roman empire for tomorrow, then? And now we can move on to French!” Felix groaned, almost hitting his head against the desk. At least it was better than history.  
”You need French if you want to join his royalty’s navy, mister.” Sir Ainsley reminded Felix.  
”Why would I need French if I’m in a boat full of Englishmen?” Felix had a quite irritating habit of questioning everything, but his professor was used to it. Usually he threw something witty back, or just ignored Felix.  
”Because you can never know what kind of situations you may get into, and knowing you, some day you will need to talk yourself out of a French warship’s plank.” Felix snorted and took his French book from the shelf next to the table and grabbed some paper, ink and a quill. 

”Knowing me, I won’t get into that kind of situation because my father will never let me join the navy.”  
”That is correct, I’m afraid. You’re the only son, and since the King has decided your family will reign as the governors of this little island, you need to stay alive. Until you get your own children, that is.” Felix shuddered at the thought of having children some day. He didn’t want any, at least, not in the next ten years. Or twenty. Or fifty. Children were a no-no at this point. He just couldn’t imagine himself as a father, with some tiny poop-slings running in his feet, eating and touching everything they shouldn’t be. The only thing he could imagine himself was at the wheel of some pretty galleon of the English armada. Even better if it was a warship. 

Felix sighed and dunked his quill in the ink. 

* * *

Nassau. 

It was a fairly nice little town. A little busy, but not too much. Really, it was like any other new port in the Caribbean, pretty dependent of the seas and the traffic around it. Brown. Green. Pretty, but not extraordinarily so. A couple of hundred inhabitants, maybe even a thousand and a half nowadays. Felix and his family had moved there after the first settlers had built the city, so roughly around ten years ago. Nassau had grown fast, now it was one of the bigger ports in the Caribbean along with Port Royal and Havana, but it was still relatively quiet compared to those two. Usually sailors on their way from Mexico to Europe stopped by and vice versa. Felix didn’t really mind, though. Small traffic meant less pirates to worry about. He knew Port Royal and Havana were under attack quite often, but since Nassau was still small, it was left alone. And then there was of course the pirate port, Tortuga. It was on the way from Nassau to Port Royal and sailors under the flag despised that cursed, lawless town. 

Felix had only heard stories of its filthy streets and uncivilized occupants. Then again, what could he expect from pirates and other criminals? Not law and order, the least, according to Felix’s father. Still, Felix was a little intrigued. Just a tiny bit, he would never ever consider becoming a pirate, but he would love to see what that famous ’pirate’s life’ actually was. And what kind of port was Tortuga? And what on earth was in the pirates’ heads, what made them become criminals, thieves, murderers, even? The thought of having to actually face a pirate made his blood turn cold, though, so maybe he wouldn’t ever stop by Tortuga. But maybe he was a little interested. Just a tiny bit. A healthy amount of curiosity. But if he were ever to become a sailor of the English navy, despite his father’s wishes, he would be able take down those filthy rats, and take down Tortuga, turn it to a beautiful port, a lawful little town under the English colors. 

”What are you thinking of, so focused?” Felix snapped out of his thoughts, looked at the woman sitting in front of him. His mother, Amelia Lee, an upper-class lady from Port Royal, born to a former governor and a sailor. Amelia Lee was a proud woman in her late forties, proud of her family, proud of her status, proud of her country. She wore a peachy colored corset dress and a ridiculously huge hat full of different kinds of laces and roses. The dress took half of their space in the wagon. Felix and his mother were making their way to a family friend living the other side of the town, the carriage swung from one side to another following the dips and crevices on the road.  
”Nothing, mother.” His mother shot him a knowing look. Felix had been staring at the sea from the carriage’s little window, again. 

”You know, your grandfather was quite a known sailor. One of the first ones to survive from the Bermuda and to sail to India and back. It’s in your blood, the crave for the sea. If it wasn’t for your father, I would let you join some voyagers already, but you know your father. He hates the idea that something would happen to you.” Felix’s mother looked at him with a sad smile. She had told Felix about his grandfather, yes, but Felix was quite sure it was deeper than that, there had always been this little tone of longing in her voice when she spoke of his father’s journeys. Maybe Amelia Lee also had a craving for the sea, a craving she couldn’t ever fulfill since the ships only recruited men.  
”I know.” Felix answered. 

The way to their family friend’s house, also known as the Smith family, was kind of long. Not really long, but they did have to cross the whole town, drive through the town center. Felix didn’t really mind, but he hated the fact that everyone stared at their carriage, some even mockingly bowed as they drove through the cobblestoned main streets. The sun was beginning to set, seeps of sunlight still reflecting from the sea that glimmered between the wooden buildings of the town. The last rays of sunshine made the inside of the carriage almost glow, the red velvet of the seats gleaming beautifully. The little golden details around the door and window shined. 

Felix had always considered himself closer to his mother than his father. His father was always with the city council at the town hall, rumor had it he wasn’t as faithful to his beautiful wife as he was supposed to, so it wasn’t all that surprising Felix preferred the company of is mother. Even though sir Ainsley was in charge of his education, Felix had still learned more from his mother as well. More as in about actual life, not some stupid history facts. She had told him stories about his grandfather’s voyages and adventures, she had told him about the faraway lands, the art of sailing and everything about ships that she knew. She had taught him to navigate from the stars, and she had taught him to sew his torn clothes (because apparently Felix also had a habit of stumbling to every single rock on his way and breaking at least three pairs of trousers in a month and his mother, and the servants, were sick of patching up his clothes). Felix also looked more like his mother than his father. Small build, narrow shoulders. A rather round face, the doe eyes, small nose and small chin. Orange hair, a little curly. Upper lip thicker than the lower. Freckles. Felix hated his freckles. They made his face look dirty, especially with the tan the sun brought with itself. And you couldn’t avoid the sun in Nassau. 

The wagon halted to a stop, and soon the door opened. Their coachman helped Mistress Lee out and Felix followed after her. They were at the Smiths’ house, almost at the front door. The house was magnificent, almost bigger than the Lees’ house. It was styled like any other villa back in London, a white stone building with Greek style pillars and huge windows. A thick bush fence surrounded the house and its garden, keeping the lower class out of Smiths’ area. Some chit-chatting could be heard coming from behind the house.

”Amelia! And Felix! So nice to see you!” Mistress Smith, a large woman with a sky-blue corset dress and a reddened face. Perhaps the cause of some wine to make the evening go faster?  
”Linda! It’s been a while!” It had been two weeks, not ’a while’. Felix’s mother and Mistress Smith hugged, and then Felix was going to be a gentleman and kiss the back of Mistress Smith’s right hand but instead the woman took him in a hug. She smelled like lavenders and musk.  
”No need for such chivalry! I have known you since you were in a cradle.” Felix smiled at the woman but stuck to the etiquette;  
”You look stunning tonight, Mistress Smith.”  
”Thank you, Felix, but save your pretty tongue. I am old and my best days have left me a long time ago, the other ladies in the garden are much more stunning than I am.” Felix’s stomach dropped a little, he knew exactly what Mistress Smith meant. However, he continued with a small, friendly smile on his face;  
”Well, the days have only made you justice.” Mistress Smith giggled.  
”You’re even worse than your father! But come on now, the evening tea is brewing. Charles arrived half an hour ago.” 

Charles Lee, Felix’s father, the governor of Nassau. A strict man who only had a heart for those he loved, and there weren’t many people he loved. Felix followed after the two ladies to a beautiful garden behind the house. The apple trees were in full bloom, flower beds decorated the ground next to the pavement that lead to a patio on which a table and stools were set. Two men and two girls sat around the table. The trees casted a shadow over the patio, blocking the sunlight a little and making the temperature pleasantly warm. 

The view was amazing, the sea sparkled underneath the setting sun and some birds were singing their last notes of the evening. The bay looked calm, a few ships were tied to the pier. The house was quite close to the strand, leaving the whole town behind them. Well, actually to their right side, since the town center was only a few blocks away from the pier and the road from the dock to the marketplace was straight uphill, leading to the town hall. All of the houses were built around that road, leaving the upper class’ houses either far from the center right next to the sea or right in the center. The Smiths, like the Lees had chosen to live next to the sea, far from the stir of the center. 

The Smith’s butler was lighting candles on the table that was full of different kinds of pastries and cakes and cookies. A steaming hot jug of tea was placed in the center of the table.  
”Amelia, my dear! And Felix!” Charles Lee rose from his stool and pulled out a chair for his wife. Felix nodded to his father as he went to shake Mister Smith’s and her daughters’ hands. Mister Smith was a greyed man in his late fifties, and he was in charge of the finances in Nassau. So, a tax collector. A very strict one, and if Felix was being honest, he was quite scary. 

”Margaret, Annaliese”, Felix nodded at the girls. Margaret was his age, Annaliese a couple of years younger. It was no secret that Margaret fancied him, and their parents had plans on betrothing them. Or, at least Felix was pretty sure of it since there weren’t any other girls his age in the upper class of the island. Well, there was one, but Felix was quite certain she would move to London or Port Royal when she got the chance. Who would want to stay in Nassau anyway? 

Felix sat down on his stool next to his mother, opposite of Margaret. The conversation turned immediately to the upcoming summer carnival, which was meant to bring people from surrounding islands to visit Nassau, perhaps even get them to move in their little town. Apparently some fancy people all the way from London were coming to see the carnival. Mister Lee and Mister Smith were talking about the costs, the ladies were talking about the new fashion trends in Europe that had finally reached Nassau. 

Felix remained silent. Of course he did, Margaret was blushing madly in front of him and Felix didn’t have anything to talk about. He couldn’t join his father’s conversation because Mister Lee would only push him away, knowing him he would just say something along the lines of ”You’re too young to understand, Felix”. Not that Felix actually understood anything about finances. And he didn’t know jack’s shit about fashion, so he just sat there silently and stared at the table, fiddling the hem of his sleeves. 

Soon the butler arrived, and everyone got their steaming cups of evening tea. The sun had finally set, the town underneath their feet was slowly quieting, getting ready for the night.  
”So, uhh... Felix. How are your studies?” Margaret’s voice was quiet, not wanting to interrupt the adults. She always opened the conversations the same way.  
”Normal. Sir Ainsley is going to lose his mind soon if I don’t start taking history lessons seriously.” Margaret giggled. She was a pretty girl, if Felix was being completely honest. Not in a breathtaking way, but in the sort of ordinary way. Golden hair, big eyes, long nose. Dressed in the latest fashion in a light blue corset dress. Felix had had to change to a red waist coat, white shirt and black breeches. And stockings, never forget the stockings. And the damn ruffle collar. Thank god the shirt was ruffleless.  
”But history is important! And interesting.” Margaret lightly argued back, smiling. Annaliese was in her own thoughts, zoned out.  
”Nah. It’s boring. Fencing is interesting.” Felix smiled back. 

It had only been a couple of years when Margaret and Felix had still been really close friends. Felix missed it. He missed their long walks, their small trips to the other side of the island, their little jokes that only they understood. Back then there was no blushing or sweet talk or pressuring gazes from both of their parents. Now there was a one-sided crush and Felix knew he would never be able to answer to that. But he had to play along, or his father would get mad. And when he got mad, well, Felix got a stinging red cheek that slowly turned to different hues of blue and green and yellow.  
”So… how are your French studies?” Felix asked Margaret.  
”Normal. It’s easy, and Annaliese is better than me, so she helps me.” Felix nodded at her answer. The conversation died, an uncomfortable silence fell between them. Felix took a sip of his tea and stuffed some meat pie in his mouth as an excuse not to talk. The pie was delicious, so he wasn’t really complaining.

”Well, Felix, have you found yourself a lady yet?” Felix almost choked on his cup of rosehip tea. He most certainly had not expected that. Mister Smith looked at him with an expecting glint in his eyes.  
”I- uhh… not really?” One gaze at his father and Felix knew he had given a wrong answer; ”M-maybe?” Felix glanced at Margaret, who looked a little disappointed, but tried to hide it.  
”Well, that is nice to hear. Not too many choices on this island, are there?” Mister Smith continued. To him it was light banter, to Felix it was humiliating and almost suffocating. This wasn’t the first time Mister Smith had asked him the same question, though. Felix hated this, he hated the fact that he was going to be nineteen soon, and that he would have to find someone to marry. Or his parents would do that for him. Felix kind of hoped they would choose him someone from London or Liverpool or Port Royal or anywhere else, really, then he wouldn’t have to do that himself and he could just play along as he always did. Or that he would just dissolve into thin air before that.

”N-no, not really...”  
”Has your father taken you to the town hall yet? I think it’s time for you to learn how to manage our little town.” Mister Smith winked at Felix’s father.  
”Not yet, Mister. I wish he would.” Felix looked at his father and smiled. He didn’t wish that. He didn’t want to become a governor. It was far too much responsibility and it required all of the skills Felix didn’t have, like actually understanding something about finances and economy.  
”Charles! You need to take Felix with you!” Mister Lee just shook his head, smiling.  
”Oh no, Matthew, I shall not yet. I can’t bear the fact that my son is no longer young.” 

The evening was warm, a hint of wind shook the apple blossoms. It was a nice exception to their daily routine; usually Felix would just sit in his room, read some book or play chess with his father (which he was incredibly bad at, at least according to his father, but Charles Lee insisted on playing until Felix would win, increases your logical thinking, he’d say). Or stare at the sea and wish for a ship to take him away. Really, his normal days were pretty boring. Up at eight o’clock, get dressed, join parents for a breakfast. At nine Mister Lee would leave for work and sir Ainsley would arrive for his and Felix’s daily lessons. History, mathematics, astronomy, French, all that jazz. At afternoon some fencing or horse riding, or both, in case of a pirate attack, apparently. After that Felix would just hang around, visit the town with some servants or go to the beach, or do something with his mother. Overall his life was pretty boring, at least to him. 

Felix was often described as rather odd, at least by people who knew him. He had a problem with authorities, he didn’t like to be ordered around or follow any rules. That had got him in many troubles before, his father most certainly didn’t like it when Felix failed to obey his commands. When he had been little, he had often snuck out of the house and run off either to the city or the inland hills, just to explore the island with his best friend, Eric, who had moved to London roughly a year ago to study. And then his parents had had to chase him with servants around the island, look for the lost boys, who weren’t actually lost at all. He would do that nowadays, too, but most of the people recognized him and… well, not everyone in Nassau was loyal to their governor. In fact, most of the lower-class people didn’t like Felix’s father at all. Felix couldn’t really blame them. But he did sometimes ride to the other side of the island which didn’t have any inhabitants, just to relax and be at peace, stare at the wide sea before his eyes and maybe take a swim, too. Sometimes he brought his other friend along, but usually he was busy. A blacksmith’s son, of course he was busy. And from lower class and Felix’s dad didn’t like that at all, but the boys from the upper class were right now at the seas or had moved to bigger cities to study. 

But even though he had a problem with authorities, and he didn’t like following rules or orders, he had an even bigger problem with those who went completely against the rules of society. Those who did everything as they pleased, destroyed homes and murdered people. In an island like Nassau it meant pirates, naturally. Felix had heard enough stories about those filthy rats to know that he would always despise them, and that was one reason he wanted to join the navy. To fight against them. To sink every single pirate ship in the Caribbean Sea. He was kind of glad pirates only harassed the bigger ports, though, but if they would ever dare to set a foot on Nassau, he was more than ready to stick a sword through their skulls. Or not.

”Have you heard the news, Charlie? The brethren are gaining more and more seas, and Medusa and Euryale have been seen only a few miles away from our island.” Felix’s attention snapped back to the conversation. He noticed Margaret was also listening, while their mothers were still talking about the newest twiddling techniques from India.  
”I doubt they will harm us. We are a small port, nothing to steal here. I’m sure they are just passing by. Probably off to Havana again.” 

”But they have attacked smaller towns too, haven’t they? It has only been a few weeks since they raided Port-au-Prince.”  
”I suppose they have. But we’ll be okay, I’m certain of that.” Felix glanced at Margaret, who looked a little panicked. He knew she feared pirates more than anything, Mister Smith often told stories about his days as a sailor and the times he had had to face pirates. Felix’s father had also had his fair share of meeting pirates in his past. Probably one of the reasons Felix was so against them. Oh, how easy it was to influence a young person’s mind. 

Felix noticed something odd in the midst of the conversation. While his father and Mister Smith were talking about the pirates, Mister Smith kept hurriedly glancing at Felix underneath his bushy grey eyebrows. Was there something on Felix’s face? Was it because of Margaret? Did he want Felix to talk more to her? Or had he said something inappropriate earlier? Felix bit the inner skin of his lower lip, a little confused. 

”And besides, those two haven’t even been seen anywhere else in a long time. The only one that has been terrorizing the ports has been the Wicked Wench.” Felix knew something about those ships. The Wicked Wench was quite an old one, led by a former English navy sailor. The reward for his head was already 5 000 bucks, set by the King of England himself. The other two ships were more unfamiliar. The only things Felix knew were from rumors. Medusa’s and Euryale’s captains were brothers, and if the tale was true, there was a third brother. It would make sense, since Medusa and Euryale were sisters in the Greek mythology and the third sister was called Stheno (not so useless those history lessons now, were they?). But why were they here, when the rumor had it Medusa had last been seen in the shallow waters of Spain and Euryale had been anchored in Singapore? 

”You’re right. But it is kind of suspicious.” Mister Smith glanced at Felix once again, before taking a sip of his whiskey the servant had just brought for him. Only for adults, of course.  
”It is. We shall only hope that there isn’t going to be some sort of gathering of the Brethren of the Coast.” Felix shivered. The Brethren were some sort of loyalty-based agreement of some of the pirate lords of the Caribbean Sea. That meant they wouldn’t sink each other, and they would help each other to, well, terrorize other ships and towns. Collect riches. If the Brethren had all gathered in the same place at the same time, that meant only harm for other people. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the Spanish royalties had decided to bring their whole armada in the Caribbean Sea, and England was going to do the same. 

The night had completely fallen, and the town was quiet. Felix could hear the waves crashing against the cliffs of the bay. It was peaceful, except for the chit-chatting, of course.  
”What do you think?” Margaret quietly asked from Felix. She looked like she was about to jump from her seat at any second now.  
”I’m sure it’s nothing.” But Felix was most certainly not sure. In fact, he was probably just as jumpy as Margaret. Felix wasn’t… scared, but he was a little… nervous. Yeah, nervous, that was the word. On one hand he wanted to beat as many pirate’s asses as he could if they were to get close to their little town, but on the other hand… Felix didn’t really have any experience in actual sword fighting. Or pirates. And he was afraid of them.

”Who wants some more tea? Felix?” Mistress Smith inquired. Felix nodded, just out of politeness. And he wanted something to do with his hands. Soon he got a new steaming hot cup of tea in front of him and the chat turned to Margaret and Annaliese and their daily life. Amelia was very fond of the girls, and Felix was quite sure she had also hoped for a daughter. He had never dared to ask why he was the only child. 

It didn’t take long for Felix to get sleepy in the dim light of the night. He let his mind wander, listening to the on-going conversation with only half of an ear. Yes, Margaret had done some very beautiful cross-stitch works and Annaliese had picked up Spanish alongside of French and Felix was just a dumb boy compared to them (Amelia had a habit of comparing Felix to every other child, but Felix had got used to it, though he didn’t understand why she would constantly compare him with others yet still claim to love him but maybe it was one of those adult things Felix didn’t understand yet, and probably never would). The teacup clanked against the plate as Felix put it down. All of a sudden he heard a quiet shout and snapped out of his sleepy trance;  
”Fire in the hole!” Fire in the hole? What the? Who would yell that? Maybe some children were still out playing? Or maybe he had fallen asleep for a second. Yeah, probably that, it had been a long day, and his stomach was full and it made him drowsy. Yeah. 

A whistle.

Felix’s head snapped to the direction of the sound. Nothing.

An explosion. 


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand action!

Silence. Five long seconds. Felix’s breath got caught in his throat for those five seconds. All of a sudden, the nature around them went silent like it was listening, no birds were singing, no leaves were rustling in the small evening breeze. Felix couldn’t even hear the waves. The whole world held its breath for those five seconds. 

A flash. A whistle. An explosion. It all came crashing down in one second.  
”What the hell was that?” Mister Lee yelled in a panicked voice. Another explosion, then another, shouting from the shore. All seven of them rose from their seats hurriedly, stumbling, Felix backed a few steps before bumping against an apple tree.

”…Pirates?” He asked more of himself than the others around him, staring into the darkness. He tried desperately to find the source of the noises, failing miserably. He couldn’t see the ship, if there even was one. It was pitch black, the new moon was upon them and didn’t light the sea as it usually did. Pirates? In Nassau? What on earth would they do in Nassau, when there was literally next to nothing to rob? Okay, yes there was, it wasn’t like people in Nassau were that poor. But still, pirates? Felix couldn’t really believe that. He didn’t want to believe that.  
”Pirates!” Margaret screeched, her face white as a sheet of paper. Somehow Margaret’s cry made the situation come alive, all too real and horrible. 

The howling sound of the cannonballs pierced the night sky before they collided against something in the town. People started to wake from their slumbers, some realized the situation and Felix could almost feel the panic and chaos ensuing. The shouts from the shore came closer with every passing second. 

They were coming closer. They were on their way to the house. 

”Quickly! Inside!” Mister Smith didn’t need to tell it twice. The girls were already running in along with Mistresses Lee and Smith, Charles following right after. Felix stared at the sky over the bush fence for a second. The heavens were turning from a deep dark blue to orange. Fire, Felix knew, the city had caught on fire. He felt his guts make somersaults when a cannonball struck something, probably someone’s home just a couple of houses over. Something, or someone, rustled in the bushes, Felix could swear for a brief second he heard someone whispering. 

”Felix! Quickly!” Mister Smith yanked Felix from the back of his waistcoat and the boy stumbled a couple of steps back before following Mister Smith inside. But would he be safe in the house? What if a cannonball hit through the wall? What if the pirates were to burst through the doors? Before Felix could voice his concern, Mister Smith shoved him almost violently inside a small closet down the hall and banged the door close behind him. 

What the-? Felix turned around, tried to search for a doorknob but failing in the process. A small click of the lock reached Felix’s ears.  
”Hey! What the hell!” Felix kicked the door, but it didn’t budge. He kicked it again but got nothing. The door wouldn’t move. It was pitch black and Felix ran his fingers against the hard wood of the door, trying to find something, anything, but only got splinters to his fingers.  
”I’m so sorry, Felix.” He heard a muffled voice from the other side, and then Mister Smith’s receding steps. 

The air in the closet was musty, filled with dust. It was only a square meter or so, Felix didn’t have much moving space. Perhaps it was meant for storing cleaning supplies, but now Felix was occupying it, stuck. And he was scared. Really, really scared. What the hell did Mister Smith mean by saying sorry? Where were his parents? Why was he in this godforsaken closet? Another cannonball hit somewhere very near, and Felix could feel the ground shake. Or it was him shaking, he wasn’t entirely sure. Cold sweat was dripping down his back, he chewed his lip before kicking the door again. And again. And again, before punching it, twice, thrice. He felt his knuckles bruise, drawing blood. He threw his whole body against the door but got nothing. It simply didn’t budge. 

Panic was slowly rising from the pits of his stomach, clasping its cold hand around his throat. Felix tried throwing himself against the door again but gave up. It wouldn’t move. Instead he slumped against the wall and slid down on the floor, pulling his knees against his chest. He pressed his head against his knees, took deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. It was quiet around him, excluding the booming noises from the outside. Almost eerily quiet. Every now and then the ground shook. Felix could almost see the chaos that was going on in the city, pirates everywhere, stealing, killing, burning everything to the ground. Why were they here? Why now? What did they want from Nassau? Felix felt tears forming in his eyes, a single drop rolled down his cheek, he was so damn scared, why why why was he in this closet, why did Mister Smith push him here, what on earth was going on? 

Suddenly, footsteps. Felix froze for a second before jumping up, breathing erratically. His stomach dropped at the voice;  
”He’s in the closet on the right.” He heard Mister Smith’s voice. It was cold. The panic in Felix’s chest tightened its grip.  
”Get him and get out of my house.” Felix heard a snort before the door unlocked and swung open. 

For a split-second Felix stared at the most soulless eyes he had ever seen, pitch black, face framed with curls of black hair.  
”You’re coming with us.” A smooth, almost velvety voice and then Felix’s fight or flight mode kicked in. He kicked forward, but the man was prepared and dodged the kick easily. Another face appeared on the doorway and Felix lunged forwards, but the two people caught him by his arms, caging him with iron grasp. Felix screamed out of panic and frustration and trashed around, trying desperately to break free. Mister Smith himself was no longer in sight. 

”Let me go!” Felix yelled, accidentally bumped his head against the wall before turning slightly around and biting the other arm that was holding him.  
”Ow!” Felix heard and the grip slightly loosened, just enough for him to stomp on the other guy’s toes and break himself free.

He rushed forwards, scrambled a little but quickly gained his balance back, lucky him. Not once did he turn to look back when he stumbled through the back door of the villa. He heard yelling behind his back and knew for sure the two guys were going to follow him. But Felix did not have time to think, so he kept running, as fast as he possibly could. Out of the garden, back to the street, the wagon was long gone already. 

Felix ran to the main street, stumbled on the cobblestones as the buildings swooshed past him. People were everywhere, like a beehive had been poked twice with a stick. Everyone was running either to the hill behind the town or collecting their dear belongings, mothers were looking for their lost children. And fire, everywhere, everything was on fire. Felix turned left and kept running. The blood pounded in his ears and his insides were burning, but the adrenaline kept him going, he turned to the right. He had no idea where he was going. He couldn’t go home, the men boys pirates what fucking ever they were would follow him there, and he sure as hell wasn’t in good enough shape to run all the way there anyway. He had to hide. He had to somehow lead the men astray, so he could get away. 

Felix halted to right again when he saw a gunfight going off before his very eyes. A pirate against a soldier, who was protecting his fellow citizens. Screams all around him, the cannons still blasted through the night sky. They were really going to destroy the whole town. Turning left, Felix ran through smoke and dust, before a cannonball whistled just beside his ear and exploded against the building behind him. The impact made Felix fly a few feet before smashing against another wall. His ears rang, everything around him shook and he dropped down to his knees. For a split second all of his senses went numb, he couldn’t hear anything but a high-pitched noise, he couldn’t see properly, he couldn’t feel his feet, but he had to run, he had to get away, so he scrambled back to his feet.  
”There!”

Left again from the corner of a small street, his feet hurt, everything hurt, the whole world was on fire, but he had to run, the pirates were just after him, right, another right, he hurled past doors and waste piles, squeezed through tiny gaps of the alley before bursting to a bigger street and then he ran left again. Suddenly he realized the familiarity of the street he was running along and crashed through the next door on the right, slamming it close behind him. Felix heard footsteps running past his little hiding place. He slumped against the door trying to catch his breath, heart beating rapidly and ready to jump out of his chest. He had crashed in a blacksmith’s workshop, the forge was still lit and it radiated heat through the whole room, but the blacksmith himself was gone. The hammer and a long piece of iron had been left on the anvil, signaling a quick leave. 

Felix felt like panicking again, tears were crinkling in the corners of his eyes, but he wiped them away with the back of his hand. He was so lost and confused. What the fuck was going on? Why were the two boys… men… pirates after him? Why on earth had Mister Smith shoved him in that closet for them to catch? And why were the pirates destroying the whole city in the first place? Felix wanted really desperately to just curl up in a corner and cry his eyes out until this would be over, but his fight or flight-instincts were on overdrive and he couldn’t stay in place, and that wasn’t like him at all, oh no. He wasn’t a crybaby. 

Felix shuffled his way to the other side of the workshop which had another door straight to the town’s marketplace. He looked around a little bit but found no swords ready for a fight. Maybe the blacksmith stored them elsewhere or had taken all of them with him. Another cannonball whistled and crashed only tens of meters from where Felix was standing. Curiosity finally took over the best of him and he peeked through the little space between the big wooden doors. 

Felix was quite sure that what he witnessed that moment was straight from the seventh circle of hell. Utter chaos. The church was on fire. The town hall was on fire. The buildings surrounding the marketplace were mostly on fire. The gallows had been torn down. And there were people, running everywhere, trying to get into shelter and away from the pirates who were either destroying the houses or robbing them. Or both. Some people were lying on the ground, motionless and a sudden nauseating feeling washed over Felix. They were dead. Killed by pirates. 

But, as the old saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.

”Ha! There you are!” Panic shot down Felix’s spine at the voice and he turned around with the speed of a lightning.  
”You ain’t going nowhere anymore, the cap’n wants you.” He fumbled the door, desperately trying to unlock it, pushing and pulling when the two pirates got closer with every passing second. Felix looked at the other one of them, the one with the sad, soulless eyes and black curly hair. He had his arms spread, ready to get Felix if he would try to escape again. 

The lock made a creaking sound, and Felix felt the door behind him swing open under his weight. He stumbled backwards, and at the same second the other guy lunged forwards, tackling Felix to the ground with a loud thud. Felix’s head smashed against the hard cobblestones and for a couple of seconds he saw stars. And then he saw nothing but darkness. He tried to yell, but the sound came out muffled.

They had put a fucking sack over his head. 

Then he also realized that he had a rag stuffed in his mouth, forcing him to breathe through his nose and preventing him from speaking.  
”Sorry, kid.” The other pirate mumbled, before they tossed him over and bound his arms with a rope. Way too tight, it hurt. Then the panic finally settled in, and Felix started to kick and trash around, trying his best to loosen the rope.  
”That’s useless, kiddo.” And sure it was, but Felix was not going down without a fight. He tried to yell through the rag again, kick the two men beside him, but got nothing. 

”Alright, let’s go.” Two pairs of strong arms grabbed Felix, one pair underneath his arms and the other by his legs and lifted him up like he was just air. He twisted and turned, cried out against the rag. And twisted, and turned, and somehow the other guy either purposely let go of his arms or accidentally dropped him, but Felix’s back and head collided against the rough ground and he saw stars yet again.  
”Woops, sorry, kiddo. Better stop bucking before I drop you into the sea.” The voice was slightly softer, differing from the other he had heard before. Felix tried to weakly kick once more, but the impact had really taken a toll on his head and he almost slipped out of consciousness. 

The world around him went hazy, he could hear the cannonballs still whistling past, but not as often as before. He could hear the fire, he could hear it licking against the wood of the buildings, the oak and birch cracking and whining. The heat was almost overwhelming. It would take days for the townsmen to put the fire out, Felix thought. What an odd thought considering the situation he was currently in. The man carrying him by his feet stumbled and almost dropped him, but Felix could really care less. He listened to the world around him, wondered, if this was the last time he would feel Nassau around him, tried to navigate where the men were taking him. They were going downhill, so to the docks, Felix guessed. And he knew he guessed right, when the men’s feet thudded against the wood and the sound of small waves rippling under the pier reached his ears through the fabric around his head. 

”They’re here, stop the fire!” Felix could hear a yell coming from somewhere in front of him, but quite far away. The fire stopped. No cannonballs whistled over his head anymore. Only the fire and waves and cries of the townspeople were left, but no more explosions. The men carried him a little more, before Felix could feel them stepping on a some sort of ramp. He was being carried to a ship, Felix realized. And the panic kicked in once again. 

He twisted and turned, got one of his leg free easily and kicked forward;  
”Hey! Whoa whoa whoa watch it, we don’t wanna drop you!” But the words only gave Felix more power to trash around, before someone kicked him in the back. Hard. Felix whined, the pain was sharp and intense and tears pricked his eyes.  
”No need to kick him, we have everything under control, you slinthead!” Felix heard a voice, the one keeping his feet was talking.  
”Do you really? The boy was two inches away from dropping into the sea.”  
”Less problems if you ask me.” Someone mumbled. Then they dropped Felix. 

He fell against something hard and wooden, hurting his hand in the impact, before someone took him by his arms and dragged him a few feet back to lean against something equally hard and wooden. There were footsteps around him, many footsteps. Some mumbling, Felix couldn’t make the words out. 

”Untie the knots! And take the colors down, we don’t want any bloody armadas sailing behind our tail!” A commanding yell, someone with a rough voice. The feet scurried around him, some shouts about knots and whatever, the anxiety was once again gripping Felix by his throat. He stayed silent, and he stayed in place. God knew what would happen if he were to rise to is feet now. Surprisingly the… pirates hadn’t bound him to the thing he was sitting against. The floor under Felix tilted a little to the left.

And then someone yanked the sack off his head. Felix blinked furiously a couple of times, his eyes getting used to the sudden light that was aimed at his face. There was a lantern right next to his head and Felix was sure his hair was going to catch on fire any second now. Then he looked at his surroundings and gulped. There were at least thirty pairs of eyes looking straight at him with either confused or amused glint to them. Pirates. Real, living, breathing pirates. Panic was about to suffocate Felix in a matter of seconds. 

”You tryna burn his head off?” Felix recognized the voice, it was the other man who carried him to the ship. The one with the sad eyes and black curls. He stepped away from the crowd, a little closer to Felix.  
”Well that’s a pretty one! Ya sure it’s not a girl?” Someone from the crowd voiced, and Felix heard laughter. The curly haired one just shook his head and rubbed his arm.  
”No upper class girl kicks that hard.” he mumbled. Apparently Felix had really got to him, and maybe he felt a little proud of that. At least the pirate got what he deserved.  
”This be the Lee boy?” Someone asked, and the sad-eyes nodded.  
”That’s what the man said.” 

Silence fell, and it was just Felix staring at the crowd and the crowd staring back. They were waiting for something, he figured. Maybe they were waiting for him to do something or say something or someone else to say something, Felix didn’t know but he did know that he was not going to utter a word first. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he still had the rag in his mouth.  
”Sangyeon, go get the cap.” The sad-eyes said finally. The one holding the lantern on Felix’s right side nodded and stepped back, and Felix realized it was the other one who had kidnapped him. So, Sangyeon. Didn’t sound very… pirate-like. 

The ship around Felix creaked a little, waves tapped against her sides peacefully. There was a small wind that caught on the sails and kept the ship going. Felix didn’t dare to look around, he simply stared at the one with the sad eyes. He didn’t want to look any of the crewmembers in the eyes. Soon the footsteps approached again, Sangyeon came back. And then other footsteps. Much heavier, full of dignity. Full of power. The crowd split, leaving an empty spot in the middle and soon enough a large man emerged from the shadows. He halted to a stop, the crowd around him going dead silent. Felix couldn’t do anything but stare.

The man – the captain of the ship was probably the most intimidating person Felix had ever come across. He was wearing all black, two large swords were resting against his hips hanging from a belt along with a pistol. His fingers were filled with golden rings, he had a thick, black beard and a scar slit right across his face. A large captain’s hat with a red feather sat on top of his head. A smaller figure appeared next to the captain, but Felix couldn’t see the figure properly in the dark. Not that he was even able to tear his eyes away from the captain. Fear twitched in Felix’s fingertips. 

”Chan, is this the governor’s boy?” The captain spoke. His voice was very low, and he was glaring straight into Felix’s soul. Chan – the sad eyes – nodded.  
”Should be. At least that’s what Smith told us.” The captain took a few steps, coming a little closer to Felix to take a better look. If Felix had any space, he would have backed away. The captain smirked, still staring at Felix. 

”My, my. He even looks like that son of a bitch. What’s your name, boy?” Felix stayed quiet, partly because of the rag, partly because he didn’t want to talk, partly because he was sure the fear was going to be evident in his voice and he didn’t want to show any fear. But apparently the captain was not going to give him any other options besides answering so he stepped forward and crouched right in front of Felix before yanking the rag from his mouth.  
”Your name?” Felix stared right into the man’s eyes and suddenly remembered all the hatred he had towards pirates. A surge of bravery took over him and he did the best he could in that situation; spat on the captain’s face. 

Horrified gasps could be heard around them. Out of reflex the captain jerked back a little, before slowly wiping the spit off of his bearded cheek. Then he glared at Felix again through heavy eyelids, clearly annoyed, almost mad.  
”I give you one more chance, boy. What is your name?” Silence. Felix didn’t utter a word. He knew it probably wasn’t the smartest decision considering his current state, but he just didn’t care. Maybe the pirate captain would throw him overboard and he wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore. Ever again. Davy Jones’ Locker sounded a lot more tempting than having to spend any more time underneath the pirate captain’s eyes. 

The captain slapped Felix with the back of his hand, Felix’s head collided against the mast because of the impact. His cheek stung, so did the back of his head and tears filled the corners of his eyes once again but he kept quiet.  
”I thought the governor’s son would have a little more manners.” The captain mumbled under his breath before standing up again. He turned his back to Felix and started walking away, probably on his way back to his cabin, but suddenly he spun around.  
”But my! Looks like I don’t have any manners either!” The look on the captain’s face was… frightening. He had a wild smirk on his lips, eyes like the stormy sea. 

”Young Mister Lee! Welcome aboard on one of the famous triplets, her highness Euryale! I am Captain Seo, and this is my crew. They will take really good care of you.” Booming laughter, all around the deck. The captain snorted before his face dropped back to the grim expression he had had earlier.  
”Lads, take this little roach to the brig. Let him learn some manners.”


	3. 3

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. 

Two days had passed. Felix was lying in a fetus-like position in the darkest corner of the brig. When the captain had announced the crew to take him under the deck he had had no idea what the brig was, but now he knew. It was a jail. A small, dirty, moist cell. And with moistness came the cold. Water was dripping down from the ceiling, Felix was pretty sure it was seawater. What else could it be? They had been sailing for two days now. 

Every now and then someone came to check up on him, usually that Chan guy with the sad eyes. Every time he would ask whether Felix was ready to tell his name, and every time Felix would remain silent. He didn’t want to talk to the guy who had kidnapped him from his family. And ruined his perfectly fine evening. Well, perfectly fine was an overstatement, it had been mostly awkward and boring but it had been better than this, lying on the floor of a ship’s jailroom. With no food. 

Water he had, that’s what the sad-eyes brought with him every time. And Felix always drank the water he brought, he wasn’t that keen on dying. But he had no food, and he was hungry as hell. He also knew he wouldn’t get any food before he would tell the captain his name. He didn’t get it. Why wouldn’t they just let him die? Or kill him? Why were they keeping him alive in the first place? Did they want something from him? They surely knew he was the governor’s son, the only son at that. 

Maybe they would use him as a bait or demand ransom of him. Felix sighed, and opened his eyes. It was daytime, sunlight seeped through the tiny holes and cracks between the wallboards. Every now and then seawater would splash in, too, when the waves were big enough. Some seagulls were screeching outside, so Felix assumed they weren’t that far from the land. You couldn’t exactly get that far from land in the Caribbean, there were islands scattered all over the sea.

Next to Felix’s little cage was another cell, but it was empty. The only thing separating the cells was a wall made of rusted bars. The only actual wall was the hull-sided, the rest were made of the same rusty iron. Felix was pretty sure he could have kicked the door in, but he didn’t want to try. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he did. And what would he even do if he got out? Swim back to Nassau? Nah, three steps on the main deck and he would be either dead or back in the brig. And now he was way too weak to kick the door in anyway.

His stomach hurt out of hunger, and he hadn’t really moved since three members of the crew had thrown him in the farthest corner of the cell. One of them had given him an apologetic look, though. Some guy roughly his age, probably, with black, a little longer hair than usual and friendly-looking features. But friendly pirates? Were there even any? Weren’t they all just… thieves and murderers and horrible people? 

The door clanked, Felix shut his eyes quickly. He didn’t want to seem like he was awake. He didn’t want to look at the pirate who entered the brig, even though he knew it was going to be the sad-eyes again. Chan. Not sad-eyes. Chan was the name the captain had called him with. Felix listened to the steps coming down the stairs, halting to a stop in front of his cell. 

”Still not going to tell me your name?” Chan’s voice was a little rough, but soothing, if Felix was going to be completely honest. But nothing else in the man was soothing. He had those pitch black eyes, tanned skin and wild, curly black hair. He looked like someone who had seen way too much for his age, and Felix was pretty sure this Chan guy was only a couple of years older than him. Despite his sad eyes he carried a very strong aura. He was powerful, Felix just knew it. The way he had talked to the crew back in the deck, even though it had been only a few words… Maybe he wasn’t just a basic pirate. 

But Felix kept his eyes shut, didn’t want to look at Chan, didn’t move when he opened the door to his cell and replaced the now empty water jug with a new, full one. Felix heard him sigh.   
”I’d rather not haul you over the edge in a bag filled with rocks so you better start talking soon, kid.” Felix swallowed, a little nervous. Yeah, he knew what Chan was talking about. He was going to die of starvation quite soon if he didn’t start talking. Or tell his name. What the fuck was the fuss about his name anyway? They were calling him ’kiddo’ already! What would they need that other name for? Felix felt the sad-eyes staring at him, before he closed the cell door. 

”Quartermaster!” Came a yell from the upper decks.   
”Coming!” The sad-eyes shouted back and Felix jolted, startled by the sudden loud noise.   
”Well, at least you’re awake,” the sad-eyes mumbled and left. 

Quartermaster. So Chan was the next in command after the captain. No wonder he had the powerful aura around him. Felix should have guessed it! Different attire and everything, a blue waistcoat and a sword tied around his waist instead of the basic shirt and breeches-style the normal crewsmen sported. Apparently pirates dressed up quite the same way as the normal navy sailors, the higher the rank the fancier the outfit. But why would the quartermaster give two shits about Felix’s well-being? Why didn’t he just put some lower-rank sailor to check up on him if it was that important? 

Felix opened his eyes again and rose to a sitting position. He leaned against the wall behind him, resting his head for a second. It was still sore from all the bumps two days back. He also had earned himself a scratch on his temple in the process of trying to pry himself away from the pirates back in the Smith’s villa.

The events of that house came back to Felix’s mind again. He had been processing them for two nights now, most of his time when he was awake, repeating and repeating the night in his mind. Had Mister Smith sold him to the pirates? What did he gain from it? Not peace and quiet, that was for sure, and the pirates basically destroyed the town so..? He didn’t really get anything? Mister Smith was the thing that bugged Felix the most, the man he had considered as one of the closest people in his life, another father-figure to him, and he had just… given him to pirates. Did Mister Lee know? Did Felix’s father know about this whole ordeal? Were the others okay? Did anyone get hurt in the attack? Felix wanted answers. 

But for answers he’d have to talk, and he wasn’t very fond of the idea. Felix grunted and crawled to get the water jug before leaning back against the wall. His fingers hurt. He had spent the day before trying to pick splinters from his fingertips, succeeding surprisingly well. His right wrist was also sore, it had twisted when Chan and that Sangyeon guy had dropped him on the deck for the first time. And his knuckles were bruised, too, and the bruises weren’t healing well, mostly because Felix didn’t have any energy.

Felix lifted the jug to his lips and took a long swig. The water was refreshing, but no longer took away the feeling of hunger as it had done before. The cell was currently surprisingly warm due to the sunlight outside, but during nights it would get really cold and Felix wasn’t looking forward to that. He was already so exhausted because of all the emotions storming in his mind and the hunger only made it worse. And the cell didn’t naturally have a bed and the floor wasn’t very comfortable to sleep on, so not only was Felix hungry and hurting, he was also sleep deprived. And a little scared and confused and bitter and afraid and lonely and-

The door clanked open once again, Felix quickly put the jug down. It wasn’t Chan, the footsteps were much lighter and somehow more graceful than the quartermaster’s. Felix pulled his knees to his chest, making himself as small as possible. Why? He didn’t know either, it wasn’t like he could hide anywhere, and the darkest corner wasn’t dark because of the daylight. Felix’s heart was beating a little faster, he was scared, but curious. Had Chan ordered someone to come check up on him again or were they finally going to throw him over? 

Finally, the man popped down the stairs to Felix’s sight, and to his surprise, it wasn’t a man. It was a boy. A beautiful one.   
”Hey there!” The boy said, cheerfully. The surprise was evident on Felix’s face and the boy chuckled. 

”Bet you were expecting Chan.” Felix cocked his other eyebrow but didn’t say a word. The stranger sat down cross-legged in front of his cell and leaned his back against the wall.   
”I shouldn’t be here but I wanted to know what the fuss was about. You’re famous, ya know?” Felix felt strange, and it wasn’t because of what the boy had said. He felt… strangely calm. And… intrigued by the boy. Curious. A little interested.  
”Yeah, everyone’s talking about you. It’s not every day we get some governor’s offspring on our little boat.” The boy smiled at him, and suddenly Felix’s chest was full of butterflies trying to get out. What the hell?  
”You really don’t like talking, do you? That’s what Chan said.” Felix stared at the boy. No, he didn’t want to talk, but this boy’s whole aura was far from Chan’s. Or the captain’s. The boy was friendlier, and somehow... familiar. Felix knew he had never met him before, but it was like the boy knew everything about him and they had known each other for years and he could trust the boy with his whole entire being. 

”Well, I can’t really blame you, the captain is pretty frightening. He told me not to come here but I could really care less.” The boy giggled, and it was like the whole room suddenly lit up. Was this boy the sun? Felix couldn’t understand.   
”Oh, by the way, I’m Hyunjin.” So the sunshine boy was called Hyunjin. He was… beautiful. That was it. Beautiful. Ethereal, sort of. Hyunjin had a red bandana tied around his head and black locks poured over it like a halo. His tanned skin was glowing even in the dim light of the cell. He had eyes twinkling like stars, a long, straight nose and a pair of the thickest lips Felix had ever seen. Beautiful. That was the only word Felix could come up with that could describe the boy before his eyes, and that word was an understatement. 

”If you’re not going to talk, then I am. I don’t have much time before the others come looking for me since we’re about to enter some shallow waters and they need all hands on deck. I really have no idea where we are going, but we have been zigzagging for the past two days so I’m guessing the captain has no idea either. But I think we’re gonna go meet that captain’s brother at some point. You know, Medusa. Oh wait, no, you don’t know, you are not a pirate. Or I don’t know, do you?” Felix nodded at Hyunjin’s babbling. This boy was surely a talkative one. 

”Well, he’s not as scary as our cap. And our cap is quite nice too. Actually that just depends on whether he likes you or not, and I’m guessing you’re not on his favourites-list. But he’s pretty funny and nice.” Felix was ready to believe everything this boy said to him, and he had no idea why. Why was he suddenly so attracted to his aura? It was like the boy was scooping him in or something. 

The boy giggled again, flowers bloomed inside Felix’s chest. He let his guard fall down.   
”That smile suits you a lot better than the frown.” Felix hadn’t even realized he was now smiling at the boy. What the hell was going on?

”I’m going to tell you something about me so you’ll feel more comfortable. I’m eighteen, I’ve pretty much grown on this ship. The cap picked me up from some puny island over ten years ago. My mom disappeared and I had nowhere to go so that’s why I’m on this ship. And I like it here, ya know, sailing is the one thing I’m great at. It’s the freedom and ya know, the feeling when you climb to the crow’s nest and the wind is blowing and there’s nothing but open sea in front of you. I really like that feeling.” Felix nodded. He didn’t know the feeling, but he still nodded, because some part of him wanted to hear the boy laugh at least once more. And that’s what he got, Hyunjin giggled once more. His laughter was like little chimes in the wind.

”All hands on deck!” Came the yell from the deck above them. Hyunjin pouted a little.   
”Well, that’s my cue to go.” He stood up, and Felix probably looked way too disappointed since Hyunjin looked at him with a little pity in his eyes;  
”Don’t be disappointed, I’ll be back, even if the cap doesn’t want me to. But you should really drop that attitude soon, it’s only gonna hurt you and me and my friends would love some new blood on the deck.” And with those words he disappeared back to the stairs, leaving Felix sitting on the floor of the cell, alone. And dumbstruck. Suddenly all of the light left the room with Hyunjin, and Felix felt cold and hungry again. He hadn’t even realized all those feelings were gone the second Hyunjin had sat in front of him. 

Felix felt empty. He didn’t understand how it was possible, despite the churning in his stomach and fear he had felt himself perfectly content when the boy had appeared. And safe, Felix had also felt safe. Like there was nothing wrong with the world and everything was fine. The glowing boy had had a really weird effect on him, and Felix was so confused. He sighed and rested his head back on the wall behind him. Who even was that boy? Sure, his name was Hyunjin and according to his words he was a pirate who had been on this ship for years. And he had said something about friends. And new blood on the deck. So Hyunjin wanted him to… work with them? Or something like that. Felix’s head was spinning so he laid down again and shut his eyes. 

The ship swayed along the waves, some splashing against the wooden boards of the hull. There were yells coming from outside, and Felix recognized the voice as Chan’s. He was commanding the crew to take the front sail down and something about rowing. Hyunjin had said they were going to enter shallow waters soon, so Felix figured they had reached those waters. Shallow water meant they were near some land, right? They hadn’t escaped to the Atlantic yet. Felix prayed to God they wouldn’t, if they reached the ocean then there would be no chances of his father finding him. If he’d even look for him. 

The voices, the steady swaying of the ship, the salty smell of the sea reminded him of the voyage they had made when they first traveled to Nassau. Felix had only been five years old, so he didn’t remember much of that trip, but he did remember something. He remembered how he had been sick for the first couple of days, not being used to the movement of the ship. After the seasickness let go of him he had just tagged along his father, wanting to know everything about sailing and the ship. But like any five-year old, after a week he had lost his interest in his surroundings since there was nothing but vast open sea around him and he wasn’t allowed to explore the brigantine alone. But he had still fallen in love with sailing.

The voyage had lasted for a month, and they had faced a couple of storms, one almost sinking their ship. Some men fell off the deck in the storms and drowned, Felix remembered that too. Somehow it had thrilled him already at that age. Not the drowning, but the fact that the sea was untamed and unpredictable, and each and every voyage was different from the previous. It still intrigued Felix, and it was the biggest reason he wanted to become part of the navy. Sure, slaying pirates was one of those reasons, but being able to sail to the unknown… that’s what intrigued Felix the most. He shivered, the cold slowly reaching its tight grip around Felix again. He tucked his knees closer to his chest and let the swaying lull himself into a sheer slumber. 

* * *

The door from the upper deck to the brig opened and Felix shot up. He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, and when he opened them again, Hyunjin was standing in front of him.   
”Hey! You’re awake! I was afraid you’d be sleeping.” Hyunjin sounded cheerful and flopped down in front of Felix once again. Felix was still drowsy, and it took a while for him to get used to his surroundings once again. It was much darker than before, so the nightfall was probably upon them. His back hurt (and so did everywhere else if he was being completely honest) and he could taste blood in his mouth. Probably his chapped lips. And the fact that he hadn’t eaten anything since the horrible night. 

Hyunjin looked at Felix with a small smile on his lips.   
”You look horrible.” Felix raised an eyebrow at the glowing boy before snorting. He could only imagine what he looked like, when he felt like hell. Felix noticed the change in Hyunjin’s attire. He had only had a white cotton shirt and black breeches during the day, but now he had a red jacket covering his shoulders. It looked a lot like it didn’t belong to him. It was a little too large on the shoulders and didn’t sit well. The bandana was also gone, Hyunjin’s black hair a mess. A beautiful mess. That hadn’t changed, the boy was still breathtaking. And glowing. 

Hyunjin reached to the pocket of the jacket and pulled out a piece of bread. He reached his arm through the bars of the cell and cracked a smile.   
”I know you haven’t eaten in days and you look like shit so please take it.” Felix looked at Hyunjin, tried to read his expression and contemplated for a second. What if the bread was poisoned? Why would it be poisoned, he was going to die of starvation in a couple of days anyway. If he didn’t take the bread, that is. Why wouldn’t he? If he’d die, he’d get away from this damn ship a lot quicker, though. But he didn’t want to die!   
”Please.” Hyunjin gave Felix a puppy-eyed look, and Felix’s brain went to an automatic mode. He crawled from the back of the cell to the front and took the bread before he could stop himself. Felix sat back on his heels and bit into the bread without saying anything. 

And then he woke up from his little trance and simply stared at Hyunjin, still chewing on the mostly tasteless piece of bread. What the hell just happened? It wasn’t like Felix at all to simply lose his self-control like that. Why were Hyunjin’s eyes shining like little stars and why was he smiling from ear to ear and what the hell?  
”Thank you.” Felix mumbled and slapped his hand across his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say that! At least not out loud! 

Hyunjin giggled, and oh what a beautiful sound it was.   
”No problem.” Felix removed his hand and took a swig of water from the jug that had been filled up earlier once again, probably when he had been asleep. Felix could feel the energy returning to his body with every bite he took of the bread. 

”It wasn’t an easy task to steal that, ya know. First I had to steal this jacket from Chan because, well, I couldn’t have put that bread in my pants or something like that and then I had to steal the actual bread during dinner and that wasn’t easy either because the cap and Chan probably knew about my earlier trip here and the cap’n was staring at me through the whole dinner.” Felix listened to Hyunjin’s little story and smiled at the boy.   
”But, ya know, worth it since I don’t want you dead. And neither does Chan. But I know you won’t talk to him and to be honest, I get that. I wouldn’t want to talk to some ugly dude who kidnapped me from my family either.” 

Felix snorted, the sarcasm was evident in Hyunjin’s voice and he had a mischievous glint in his eyes.   
”Nah, but Chan is actually really cool. A little scary sometimes, yeah, but mostly he’s a cool lad. And he’s a great quartermaster and the crew really likes him. Last one got shot in the head because he was being a prick. The dude had it coming, though. Even the cap despised him.” Felix nodded at Hyunjin’s words and continued munching his bread. Never had bread tasted so damn good. Somehow Hyunjin’s words didn’t have any effect on him. He knew he should probably feel scared and terrified at the misery of the last quartermaster, but because Hyunjin had said he was a prick – well, then he was a prick and that was that. 

Felix took another swig of the jug and placed it down. A silence fell between them, but surprisingly, it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. Well, apparently nothing was uncomfortable with Hyunjin. Felix finished the bread and looked at the angel boy in front of him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled a little.   
”Uh… yeah. Thank you.” Felix muttered and looked down. As intriguing as Hyunjin was, his stare made Felix feel a little too aware of himself.   
”Your voice doesn’t match your face.” Felix looked back at the boy with a raised eyebrow.   
”What?” He croaked. He sounded like a goddamn crow with the flu of the century.  
”You sound like war drum and look like a mermaid prince.” 

Felix blushed and bursted out laughing at the same time. This whole thing felt so surreal. Was he still dreaming? Hyunjin giggled at Felix, the coat slipping off his other shoulder.   
”Thanks… I guess?” Felix chuckled.   
”No, but seriously, my friend is a half mermaid and you sorta remind me of him. He’s smaller, though.” Felix smirked at Hyunjin. This boy was kidding, right?   
”You don’t believe me, do you?” Hyunjin looked a little disappointed, but not surprised.  
”Will you get mad if I say I don’t?”   
”No. I don’t expect you to believe in them if you have been living on that puny island for your whole life. But you’ll see.”   
”I’m from London, so no, I haven’t lived there my whole life.”  
”Traveled to Nassau when you were a child?”   
”Yeah. How did you guess?”   
”I’m not dumb, kid. Most of the people who live around Caribbean have traveled here from somewhere else.”  
”So where are you from, then?”   
”I lived in Aruba. But I became a pirate when I was like… seven or so? So I don’t remember much of that life.”

Aruba was an island in a completely different direction from Nassau. Felix had heard of it, but it wasn’t that important in the matters of trade. A couple of villages and something like that, it was even smaller than Nassau.   
”What made you become a pirate?” Felix was curious. And he wanted to keep Hyunjin talking, he liked hearing his voice. It was kind of… enchanting.   
”I didn’t really have a choice. My mother wasn’t… uhh… the best kind of mother, so she basically ditched me when I learned to walk and talk and somehow take care of myself. Then some pirates attacked Aruba and the captain spotted me. And then he just decided his son could use some new people his age around him and that’s how I ended up here. But I’m not complaining, I like it here.” 

”The captain has a son?” Felix asked, a little dumbfounded.   
”Yeah, you didn’t see him?” Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at him.   
”No?”   
”Oh. Well, you’re going to meet him at some point, too. He’s fine. Really nice.”   
”Oh...” Felix couldn’t really believe what kind of lady would ever get a child with a monster like the Euryale’s captain. He had heard way too many stories of how ruthless he was, how he didn’t care about anyone who crossed paths with him. 

”So… do you have many friends on this ship?” Felix asked.   
”You could say so. The crew’s quite tight-knitted, so I could consider everyone a friend of mine but… if I had to choose the ones I actually like spending time with, then I’d say there’s six dudes I like.“ Felix nodded at Hyunjin again.   
”Well, how’s life in Nassau?” Hyunjin grinned at Felix, that mischievous spark in his eyes again.   
”Are you kidding me?”   
”No.”  
”It’s… normal. But safe. And boring.”   
”Your normal is different from my normal. Why is it so boring?” Why was Hyunjin even asking him these things?   
”I don’t know… Probably because it’s always the same, you know. Same lessons, different topics and same people and everything’s always the same.”   
”I don’t. There’s no two similar days on this ship.”   
”Lucky you. I’ve always wanted to be a sailor.”  
”Well, congratulations, kid! Welcome to her highness miss Euryale, where you can become a sailor.” Hyunjin laughed. Felix stuck out his tongue.   
”When are you going to stop calling me a kid? You aren’t even older than me.”   
”Well I don’t have anything else to call you with, do I?”   
”It’s Felix.”

Felix froze for a second and mentally slapped himself. Why couldn’t he just keep quiet for one goddamn time!   
”Shit.” He mumbled, but Hyunjin’s grin just widened.   
”Nice to meet you, Felix.” The glowing boy stood up and reached for something in his coat’s pocket. What was going to happen now? Was Hyunjin going to tell the captain? Or Chan? Or just leave him here, now that he got what he wanted. To Felix’s surprise, Hyunjin pulled a ring of keys of different sizes from his pocket. He browsed through the keys with a focused look on his face.  
”This... nah… this is for Chan’s cabin… not this one either… Ha!” 

Hyunjin stuck the key into the lock and twisted. The rusty lock clanked, and the hinges of the door let out a wailing noise when Hyunjin pushed the door open.   
”Come on, I don’t want to keep you here any longer.” Felix shuffled to his feet with a little difficulty. Two days of laying down without any food har really taken its toll on him.   
”But what about the captain? Or anyone else?” Felix asked, confused.   
”I don’t really care. And I have the tendency to get away with everything, so you’ll be fine.” Felix cocked an eyebrow at the boy but took a few wobbly steps to the door. He was torn, on the other hand he believed the boy that he was going to be fine, but on the other hand the logical part of his brain was screaming at him to stop right at his tracks and think for a second. 

”But… where are we even going? I just can’t walk around the deck!”   
”Sure you can, it’s not like you have any other options either. And we are going to the kitchens.” Felix really didn’t have any other option, so he took the final steps to the door of the cell. Hyunjin pulled the keys from the lock and stepped on the stairs leading to upper decks. Felix followed after him, the wooden stairs creaking under his feet. Hyunjin was significantly taller than him, Felix noticed. 

Hyunjin opened another door on the top of the stairs, and they entered to a deck full of barrels and wooden boxes and doors leading to somewhere.   
”This is the storage deck. Here’s basically everything from food to guns and all the treasure we find and stuff like that.” It was dark, so Felix couldn’t really see anything, apart from the silhouettes. The air wasn’t just as musty as in the brig. Hyunjin shuffled between the barrels and boxes, some organized, some not and Felix followed right after him. They reached another staircase, and Hyunjin pushed the doorway above them open. 

”And this is the gundeck. The heaviest cannons are here.” The deck was just as dark as the other one, so Felix only saw the outlines of the cannons. They climbed up some ladder-like stairs before Hyunjin pushed the last hatch open and they popped up to fresh air. Felix took a long breath, filling his lungs with the sea air.   
”Aaand this is the main deck.” Hyunjin turned around and smiled to Felix a little. The orange-haired boy looked around him, totally dumbstruck. 

It was dark, but the lit torches along the deck of the ship illuminated the sight before him quite beautifully. The ship was huge. Three large masts rose up to the sky, one from the forecastle, one from the main deck and one from the quarter deck. The sails had all been folded for the night. Some smaller cannons were bound to the bannisters. On the upper deck Felix could see a figure hunched over something. 

”Probably Chan counting bearings. The rest are sleeping at the forecastle’s crew’s quarters.” Hyunjin said with a light tone and pointed at the front of the ship. He danced a few steps across the deck, Felix still standing on the top of the stairs, admiring the sight around him. He couldn’t lie to himself. This was what he had been dreaming of for the most of his life. A ship, floating in the middle of the boundless sea, underneath the starred, endless sky, away from his parents, away from everyone he had ever known. Away from binds and boundaries and stupid history lessons. 

A gull screeched somewhere far away and woke Felix from his thoughts. With cautious steps he walked after Hyunjin, who had reached the other side of the main deck and was standing in front of the quarter deck. He could hear some light snoring from the opposite direction of which they were going. Far above their heads was a thin crescent of the moon along with countless of stars. Felix could recognize some of them. Polaris led your way home, that’s what Felix’s father had used to say to him when he was a child. 

Hyunjin opened a door on the left and stepped down the small stairs to a room full of tables and benches. On the right corner was something that resembled a kitchen with a fireplace, a stove and a table with other kitchen equipment on top of it, pans and pots and so on. The room was still lit, candles and lanterns scattered across the room. It smelled good, and Felix’s stomach churned. Then he noticed two boys sitting at a table next to the fireplace, across from where Hyunjin and Felix were standing. 

”Hey!” Hyunjin said cheerfully and the two boys’ heads whipped around. Felix swallowed and took a small step backwards, feeling unsure of himself all of a sudden.   
”Hyunjin!” A boy with black hair and a wide, teeth-showing smile jumped up from his seat. Hyunjin glanced at Felix with a small encouraging smile, before turning back to the boys.  
”Jeongin, hey!”  
”Seriously, Hyunjin?!” The other boy, the one with red hair had stood up and had a grim expression on his face. That encouraging smile wasn’t so encouraging anymore.   
”Seungmin.” Hyunjin smiled, but Felix could hear the small stir of fear in his voice. 

A silence fell. Felix nervously bit the inner skin of his lower lip. The other black-haired boy, Jeongin, took a few steps back and looked at the two boys, who were having an intense staring contest. Felix could swear he felt the air around him get more and more pressuring with every passing second.   
”You told me you wouldn’t do that.” The red-haired boy finally said. He sounded more disappointed than angry. He glanced at Felix and sighed.   
”I really didn’t have any other choices, I swear.” Hyunjin mumbled back, looking at his feet now. 

Then Hyunjin stopped glowing. Not literally, no, but the room around Felix felt a little darker, and suddenly he could pay attention to his surroundings better. The hunger came back with a bang, and Felix felt cold, and afraid. Very afraid. He abruptly realized he was in a room with three pirates (his age, yeah, but still), and the whole ship was full of pirates. Who didn’t know he was free. He was going to die if the captain were to find out! Felix let out an audible gasp and clung on to the door frame next to him. All of the emotions he had felt at the brig came back, and his head was spinning, the whole room was spinning, his legs were going to give out, oh dear go-.

All the sensations stopped as quickly as they had returned. Felix’s head was still spinning, but he realized someone was holding him by his arm. He had fallen to his knees. Hyunjin was on his left side, looking worried, but he wasn’t the one holding Felix. The orange-haired boy looked to his right, and found himself staring in a pair of purple eyes, so deep Felix thought they were amethysts.   
”Hey, you’re alright, I got you.” The purple-eyed boy said. Jeongin. That’s what Hyunjin had called him.   
”Uh.. t-thanks.” Felix stuttered. He felt both, horrified and so utterly intrigued at the same time, looking at those eyes. He tore his gaze away, but let the boy help him up. It wasn’t like he had any other options. 

Jeongin led Felix to the same table where he and Seungmin had been sitting. Hyunjin followed after them with an apologetic look on his face. Felix sat down and Jeongin sat next to him, still holding to his arm. The feelings of hunger and fear were still there, but not as intense as before. He felt a little less overwhelmed. Hyunjin sat down in front of Felix as Seungmin made his way towards the stove. Felix stared at the table, trying to collect himself and his thoughts for a second. Firstly, why on earth were Jeongin’s eyes purple? Felix had never ever seen anyone with purple eyes in his whole life. He hadn’t even heard stories about them. Except that he had. Mermaids. Mermaids were said to have purple eyes, so beautiful sailors would drown themselves because of those eyes. But mermaids weren’t real? So maybe it was just an oddity. Or Felix was out of his mind. Also, why was the boy still holding to his arm? The grip wasn’t uncomfortable, no, the touch was quite feather-like and nice, actually, but what the actual hell? 

Seungmin placed a bowl of soup in front of Felix along with a spoon and a cup of water. The orange-haired boy stared at the bowl, a little confused. He wasn’t going to die? Yet? Felix picked up the spoon and pushed the potatoes, beans and pieces of what looked like fish meat around. The soup smelled very delicious, and looked quite non-threatening. 

”It’s fish soup, you must be hungry.” Seungmin cracked a small smile, before returning his judging gaze to Hyunjin. Felix scooped a spoonful of soup into his mouth. It was just as delicious as it smelled like. And his father had always told him the food in ships was bad and tasteless?   
”Well?” Seungmin asked the tall boy sitting next to him. Hyunjin didn’t dare to look at the red-haired boy who was shooting daggers at him with his gaze. The tall boy cleared his throat, glancing at Felix who was enjoying his soap. 

”Well. This is Felix.” Felix nodded at the other two boys as Hyunjin introduced him.  
”Felix, these are Jeongin and Seungmin.” Hyunjin lazily pointed at them. Jeongin was beaming from ear to ear, his teethy smile easing the little stir of fear in Felix’s stomach. The purple eyes still made him feel uneasy. Then he realized Jeongin wasn’t holding on to his arm anymore. Felix glanced quickly at Seungmin, not daring to look at the clearly annoyed boy any longer. The red hair curled a little on his forehead, framing his features beautifully. All in all, the boy looked very friendly and inviting, but his stare was anything but kind. Felix scooped more soup into his mouth to avoid talking. 

Seungmin sighed and leaned his head against his palm.   
”Did you really need to do that? Now the boy is all confused and lost.” He said, barely audible. It was clearly meant for Hyunjin, but Seungmin didn’t really try to hide it.   
”I was afraid he was gonna starve himself to death.” Hyunjin answered, just as quietly.   
”He’s not that dumb I’m sure.” Hyunjin shrugged.   
”I’m right here you know.” Felix finally opened his mouth and butted in to the conversation. Yeah, these were pirates he was talking to, but it was kind of annoying how they acted like Felix wasn’t right there sitting around the same table.   
”What do you mean by ’that’?” Felix looked at Hyunjin, who frowned.

A silence, again. Hyunjin chewed on his lower lip, clearly not wanting to elaborate on ’that’. Jeongin sat still next to Felix, who was getting a little annoyed.   
”Oh come on now, Hyunjin!” Seungmin finally sighed, yet again, before turning his eyes back to Felix;   
”He’s a half siren. You know, those beautiful ladies that lure you in with their voice and then tear your eyes out.” Felix nearly choked on his soup.  
”I don’t tear people’s eyes out.” Hyunjin pouted at Seungmin.   
”No, you just use your siren charms to get what you want from them.” The red-haired shot back. 

Hyunjin blushed, a sight Felix didn’t know was even possible. All the confidence he had seen back in the brig was long gone now. Did Seungmin have this effect on him or was it just that Hyunjin was a great actor? Whatever it was, Felix wasn’t really believing this bullshit. First mermaids and now sirens? Ha.   
”Look, I’m all in for fairytales and that sorta thing but sirens don’t exist. They’re just stories.” Seungmin turned his head to Felix and smirked. Smirked.   
”Did your father tell you that?” He tilted his head.   
”Yes?” Seungmin snorted at Felix.   
”Did your father also tell you that pirates are nothing but murderers and thieves?”  
”...Yes.” Seungmin let out a laugh at Felix’s answer. Hyunjin looked at him curious.   
”Did you suddenly feel like all the bad things in the world went away when Hyunjin arrived? Like he was glowing actual sunlight? All the hunger and cold and pain just disappeared?” Felix nodded, confused, but Seungmin just kept on going.   
”And when he left they all came back and you felt even worse? Like sunlight had been taken from you?” Felix nodded again. That’s exactly how he had felt.   
”That’s siren’s charms. Use your brain, landlubber. The stories always start from somewhere.” Seungmin’s words had a bite to them, and Felix was left quite speechless. 

”Seungmin, don’t be like that...” Hyunjin frowned.  
”Be like what? If you had kept your charms in check, we wouldn’t have some cloud-minded dumbass to look out for.” Seungmin sighed again, before continuing; ”You really need to start controlling yourself better. You promised me you wouldn’t use your little spells on… Felix.” The tone of his voice turned from angry to disappointed again. This was clearly a topic they argued a lot about, Felix noted.   
”I just thought...”  
”You just thought! I don’t think you did.” Seungmin rose from his seat and kicked the bench in the process.   
”I’m going to sleep. Good night.” He declared and stomped through the kitchen, banging the door shut after exiting the room. 

Hyunjin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Felix avoided eye-contact and focused on his soup instead.   
”Sorry. He isn’t usually like that.” Hyunjin stated, quietly. Jeongin shifted on his seat next to Felix.   
”He’s right, though.” The purple-eyed boy voiced.   
”Yeah.” Hyunjin nodded, clearly frustrated. Felix felt a lot better now, regardless of the situation. The energy was returning to his body and his head had stopped aching. And he wasn’t cold anymore. This soup was some miracle soup, apparently. After a small quiet moment, Hyunjin opened his mouth again. 

”Anyways, Seungmin is actually really nice, so don’t mind him. He’s just… been under a lot of pressure lately.” Hyunjin had a surprisingly sad tone in his voice when he talked about Seungmin, but soon he smiled again, his eyes turning to small crescents.   
”But this whole thing was actually his idea! And the soup is made by him. He’s the son of the cook so he’s pretty good at cooking.” Felix raised his eyebrows in a surprised manner. He wouldn’t have guessed that, to be honest. 

”He was really worried, fussing about the whole day and then he told me to come and get you.”   
”Yeah, and then he made me steal Chan’s keys for Hyunjin.” Jeongin giggled. A little smile tucked the corner of Felix’s lips.   
”So he’s nice.”   
”Hyunjin actually thinks he’s a lot more than just ’nice’.” Jeongin whispered to Felix.  
”Jeongin!” Hyunjin looked mortified, but the purple-eyed boy just laughed and stuck his tongue out at him.   
”I do not- I- yeah he’s nice! That’s it!” Hyunjin defended himself, flustered. So that was the reason why Hyunjin’s confidence had just gone down the drain in front of Seungmin. Felix chuckled at the tall boy, whose ears had turned pink.   
”Yeah, okay, sure, whatever you say, mate.” Jeongin giggled again. Hyunjin turned his eyes back to Felix, who was just finishing his soup. 

”But yeah, sorry, I really didn’t mean to… put that spell on you or something like that, I don’t really know how this siren thing works.”   
”It’s uhh… okay I guess?” Felix felt a little weirded out. He just… had a lot to think about and he was most definitely not ready to accept the fact that sirens actually existed, and the boy in front of him was half one. Except that he had to, he didn’t have any other explanation for the things he had felt when Hyunjin had… used his... charms.   
”Cool.”  
”Yeah.” 

The silence that fell between them was almost comfortable, but not entirely. Jeongin was fidgeting on his seat next to Felix, like he had something to say but couldn’t say it. Felix was about to ask, but decided to let it be. He finished his soup and drank his water, feeling a lot better now. Hyunjin took the utensils and dropped them in a wooden barrel full of other dirty plates and pots.   
”Let’s go, it’s late and we need to sleep.” He announced. Jeongin rose to his feet and so did Felix, before realization hit him.   
”Wait, where am I going to sleep?” Felix asked, not entirely sure if he wanted to know the answer. Hyunjin thought for a little while and glanced at Jeongin.   
”Next to Jeongin.” 

The purple-eyed one wasn’t having it;  
”But there’s more space next to you!”   
”Nah, me and Jisung switched, I’m sleeping in the hammock, Jisung has the bunk.” Jeongin pouted, but finally agreed.   
”...But what about the other crew?” Felix finally asked nervously.   
”They won’t probably care. I mean, sure, they will be surprised, but some of them made bets how long you can take in the brig, so they’re expecting you to join us at some point anyway.”  
”Oh.”   
”Yeah. And the cap wants you alive, so it wasn’t like we were going to let you die anyway.”   
”….Oh.” 

Hyunjin smiled again and made his way to the kitchen door.  
”And also, if I have anything learned about Chan during these years, he probably already knows you’re here. He probably also knows that Jeongin stole the keys but just let it happen.” Felix nodded. All of this was going way over his head, but he still followed out after Hyunjin. Jeongin was just behind him, steps much more graceful than Felix’s. Hyunjin pushed the kitchen door open and they entered the main deck again. The torches were still lit, but Felix couldn’t see the figure on the quarter deck anymore. Hyunjin crossed the deck and opened the door on the other side, putting his forefinger in front of his lips. The snoring was a lot louder now that the door was open. Felix felt panic rising from the pits of his stomach.

To the dragon’s den, then, Felix thought and let Jeongin lead the way. He descended the small stairs to a room full of, well, pirates. To Felix’s luck, everyone was sleeping soundly around him, occasional grunting and snoring resonating through the cabin, but Felix couldn’t help the pounding of his heart. The room had only one lantern next to the door, otherwise it was dark. Felix gripped Jeongin by the hem of his shirt and followed after him. His bed luckily wasn’t far away from the door. 

”This one”, Jeongin whispered to Felix. Hyunjin had closed the door and by the sounds of it and tiptoed after them. Felix took off his shoes laid next to Jeongin, who then threw a thin blanket over them. The bed was surprisingly wide, and not uncomfortable at all. Or Felix was just so tired after the two days in the brig that anything relatively soft felt comfortable over the cell floor.   
”Please don’t kick me in your sleep or I will kick you back.” Jeongin whispered.   
”I won’t. Sorry if I do.” Felix whispered back and heard Jeongin chuckle lightly. The snoring and the occasional grunts, the swaying of the ship and Jeongin’s warm body next to him, and the exhaustion that had taken over Felix made their job within a snap of fingers and before he knew, he was sailing off to dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand we finally got to properly meet hyunjin, seungmin and jeongin! i hope y'all are liking this so far, i'm honestly surprised how many people have started already following this fic, love u all! if u have any kind of comments, questions, or just want to talk to me, feel free to reach out in tweeter and curiouscat, i would love to hear y'alls thoughts! 
> 
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	4. 4

”Felix! Felix! Wake up!” 

Felix felt someone shaking him by his shoulder, yelling to his year. He grunted and slightly opened his eyes, anything but aware of his surroundings. Not surprisingly, he nearly got a heart attack because of the strange face two inches away from his.   
”Ahh!” Felix yelled and jerked away, only to feel the bunk under him suddenly disappear, and he dropped to the ground with a loud thud, banging his head against the floor in the process. Felix heard a chuckle coming from somewhere above him.   
”Dumbass, it’s me, Jeongin.” 

All of the yesterday’s events came back to Felix’s mind. Hyunjin had somehow manipulated Felix to tell his name to the sunshine boy, and then they had gone to the kitchen where Felix had met Seungmin and Jeongin. Seungmin had got mad at Hyunjin, and after Felix had been done eating, they had moved to the crew’s quarters underneath the forecastle to get some sleep. Crew’s quarters. 

Crew’s quarters.

Felix shot up from the floor, panic evident in his eyes. The room was lit, sunlight seeping through the small windows on the back wall of the room. The dust reflected against the rays of sunshine. Several hammocks, bunk beds and mattresses filled the room, only one of them occupied, and the man looked (and sounded) like he was in a deep sleep. Other than him, they were alone. Felix turned to Jeongin, who looked at the orange-haired boy with a cocked eyebrow and a slight smile.   
”The crew woke up like an hour ago, you can chill.” Felix looked at Jeongin a little suspiciously. Chill? In a ship full of pirates? The black-haired boy rose from the bed and stretched, before eyeing Felix up and down.   
”You need to lose that ridiculous ruffle thing around your neck.” 

Felix looked down and realized he was still wearing the clothes from three days before. The stockings had rolled down to his ankles and the breeches had a tear on the other knee. Felix ripped the collar off, blushing. He had always hated ruffles.  
”And the waistcoat.” The orange-haired boy looked at Jeongin with a raised eyebrow.   
”Why?”   
”Because only the higher ones can dress fancy. Only Chan and the cap and the cap’s son and the bosun are allowed to wear stuff like that.”   
”Oh...” 

Felix unbuttoned the red waistcoat and folded it, just to throw it on Jeongin’s bed.   
”And if I were you, I’d lose the socks, too. It’s gonna get hot as hell outside during the day.” And Felix did as Jeongin told him to. At least now he would somehow blend in and wouldn’t attract so much attention. Maybe. Hopefully. Felix couldn’t lie to himself, he was really anxious. All of this was getting to his head, all of this was a little too much to process, but he just had to keep going. He was scared of what was going to happen next, what he’d still have to face. Jeongin sensed it and lightly bumped his arm.   
”You’re gonna be fine. Let’s just get some breakfast first.” 

Felix watched as Jeongin took a deep blue scarf from the stool next to his bed and tied it around his waist.   
”This is a sash. We’re gonna get you one at some point. It helps working, you can stuff things in there and it keeps your back straight. Or something. I honestly don’t know, but Jisung stuffs bread in there.”   
”Jisung?” Felix asked. He wasn’t sure whether he was ready for more pirates.   
”A friend of mine. Very funny and a great charter. You’re gonna love him.” Felix grimaced;  
”Yeah, sure.” 

The door to the deck opened and Felix spun around, anything but ready to face whoever was going to walk through that door. To his relief, it was Hyunjin.   
”Hey there, the breakfast’s ready. Or has been for like an hour and Seungmin is gonna beat your asses real soon if you don’t go to the kitchens right now.” Jeongin chuckled and put his sandals on. They were made of rope. The purple-eyed boy was otherwise clothed the same way as Hyunjin – a white cotton shirt, sleeves rolled up and a pair of black breeches. The clothes had clearly seen better days, but despite being quite worn-out, they were at least sort of clean.

”Are you coming with us?” Felix asked Hyunjin, who was leaning against the door frame with his other shoulder.   
”Nah. I’m patching up a sail that tore during the last storm with Sangyeon and Jisung. I ate already. But Jeongin will show you the ship after that and then… I don’t know. Maybe Chan will figure something out for you. Gotta work for your bread, you see.” Felix gulped at Hyunjin’s words. Sure, getting to know the ship was really nice and all but meeting that Chan dude? And the rest of the crew? Not on his most favorite things to do today-list. 

”How’s Seungmin?” Jeongin asked and the smile on Hyunjin’s face faltered a little.   
”Dunno. We didn’t talk in the morning.” Jeongin simply nodded.   
”Anyways, gotta go. See ya, take care Felix. Don’t get on the crew’s bad side.” Hyunjin winked at Felix and spun on his heel, returning to the main deck. Felix looked at Jeongin, clearly terrified and Jeongin bursted to a laugh. His giggle sounded like little bells.  
”He’s just messing with you. C’mon, I’m starving.” And so was Felix. But his stomach wasn’t twisting and turning because of the slight hunger, but because of the fact that he was following after Jeongin to the main deck. Main deck, where all of the crew would be, awake and working. 

Jeongin opened the door and stepped out, Felix following right after him. The sunlight blinded them both immediately for a split second and Felix lifted a hand on his forehead to see better. The sight before him left him in awe. 

The dark in the last evening most definitely had not done justice to the actual size of the ship. It was enormous, much bigger than the brigantine they had traveled with to Nassau from London. The whole main deck opened up in front of his eyes, leading to the quarter deck behind it, all the way to the stern of the ship. Two masts stood tall in the middle of the deck, one rising up to the sky behind Felix. The huge sails of the middle mast were filled with wind. Around the masts were the shrouds, the ladder-like ropes that were tied to the bannisters. Some sailors were climbing upwards the shrouds, some down. Someone was standing in the crow’s nest, far, far above Felix. 

Small cannons were also tied to the bannisters on both sides, as Felix had noticed last night. Some men were cleaning them, scrubbing them with water and a towel, one had a quite worn-out looking brush in his hand. Felix’s eyes moved from them back to the upper main deck. Someone was standing next to the helm, gazing at the sea in front of them. Another figure was beside him, and another behind all of them with a large hat on. The captain, Felix realized. Wind swept Felix’s hair away from his eyes. The salty smell of the sea around him made him somewhat a little calmer. 

The main color around him was deep, mahogany brown. The wooden boards underneath Felix’s feet were a little lighter brown, jaded because of the weather of the seas. Paint had worn out of them. The masts and walls separating the deck from the interiors of the ship were dark brown, clearly not as worn-out as the floorboards. On the wall of the upper main deck were a pair of doors, the other leading to the kitchen, the other to god knows where. Beautiful, golden decors surrounded the doors, the shapes reminding Felix of lace. The sunlight reflected against the golden swirls and frills and made them look like they were alive. Next to each door was a big, golden lantern. Not real gold, Felix assumed. The sails above them were white as a bone, contrasting beautifully against the deep blue sky. 

”Hey! It’s the governor’s kid!” Felix heard a yell somewhere above him.   
”Well look at that! Even looks like a darn landlubber!”  
”Finally got out of the brig, yeh?”  
”Ever seen a ship like this, boy?” The orange-haired boy felt his cheeks turn red, and quickly shuffled after Jeongin who had already crossed half of the deck. The shouts continued, but… they weren’t really that mean. No, there was really no bite in them, no hidden anger, no years of bitterness. In fact, they were more just… friendly teasing. Or at least Felix truly hoped that.  
”Don’t mind them, they’re always like that at the beginning.” Jeongin smiled at Felix, who looked at the boy a little suspiciously.

The door to the kitchen was open, a smell of something delicious wafted through the air. Felix and Jeongin went down the small stairs and arrived at the already somewhat familiar kitchen. A couple of crewsmen were still eating their breakfast in the corner, one of them eyed Felix before she turned back to the ongoing conversation. So there weren’t only men on this ship. Felix felt a tiny bit of relief.   
”If Raul had been in charge of the breakfast this morning, you two would have gotten nothing!” Seungmin popped from behind the two of them, startling Felix. Surprisingly, the redhead had a small smile on his face. 

”Good morning to you too! Blame Felix, I almost had to kick him off of the bed, kid sleeps like a madman.”   
”Hey, whoa, who are you even calling kid? How old are you even?” Felix fired back jokingly.   
”Seventeen.” Jeongin smiled, eyes turning to small crescents.   
”Ha! I’m eighteen, so you don’t get to call me a kid, kid!” Felix stuck his tongue out. Seungmin laughed at them lightly. 

”No wonder he slept like a baby. Have you ever been to the brig? No real man can sleep there.” Seungmin sided with Felix and Jeongin frowned a little, only to return to his signature smile only a second after.   
”But you better hurry, I need to clean this place before lunch.” Seungmin shooed them away, before turning back where he came from. He had been mopping the floor before Felix and Jeongin had arrived. 

Following once again after Jeongin, Felix grabbed a plate and took some salted pork and beans on his plate, along with a piece of bread and some cheese. A water jug was already waiting for them at the table. It was like a small buffet full of food Felix wasn’t really used to, but he wasn’t complaining. Sure, the breakfasts back at home had always been full of different fruits and juices and breads and butter and whatever his mother ever requested, but this was a great alternative. After all, they were in the middle of a sea, the food had to be easily preserved. 

They sat around the same table they had been sitting last night at and ate with a rather comfortable silence. Felix noticed how Jeongin gazed at Seungmin every once in a while with a thoughtful look on his face. He raised an eyebrow at the younger.   
”What?” Jeongin asked, mouth full of beans.   
”You keep looking at Seungmin like something’s bugging you.” Felix said quietly, making sure Seungmin didn’t hear their conversation. He didn’t know really anything about the boys yet, but hey, if he was going to spend some time on this damn ship, maybe he’d have to get to know them. Better start with the friendliest ones. 

”I… No it’s just...” Jeongin chewed his lip, looking way more concerned now. Felix felt kind of bad, probably shouldn’t have asked.   
”He’s been having quite a hard time lately, and I know the fight between him and Hyunjin has certainly taken a toll on him. I’m just a little worried.” Felix nodded. He had clearly noticed how tense Seungmin had been yesterday, and even though the redhead had been smiling at them earlier, there was still something off. 

”I’m just trying to read his aura, I want to know if something’s really really off or it’s just his normal sad self.” Felix nodded again, this time a little more confused. So now Jeongin also read auras? This boy continued to surprise Felix all the time (no, Felix most certainly hadn’t forgotten when Jeongin had grabbed his arm and Felix’s head had suddenly cleared). 

They fell into silence again. Normal sad self, that’s how Jeongin had described Seungmin. It somehow made Felix feel pity towards the redhead.   
”I just want him to be happy again.” Jeongin whispered, mostly to himself. He probably didn’t expect Felix to listen, but Felix did, and it just made him wonder what was behind that sweet smile of Seungmin. 

It didn’t take long for the said boy to drop down on the seat next to Jeongin. Small beads of sweat glimmered on Seungmin’s forehead, some sticking to his red locks.   
”I apologize. I’m sorry I was being a dick yesterday.” The redhead stared right at Felix. The stare was no longer intimidating, it was… sad. And curious.   
”It’s alright, I don’t blame you.” Felix smiled a little.   
”I mean it wasn’t your fault Hyunjin was… doing whatever he was doing, you didn’t know he was a half siren.” Seungmin huffed.   
”Well, if it wasn’t for him, I’d probably still be in the cell, I’m way too stubborn for my own good.” Felix said with a gleeful tint to his tone and a little smile on his face.   
”Yeah…” Seungmin smiled back. Well, not actually smiled, more like squinted his eyes a little and the other corner of his lips moved a little upwards.

”So… what’s todays agenda?” Seungmin changed the topic.   
”I’ll show Felix the ship I guess? That’s what Hyunjin told me to do. And we don’t have a heading so… I’m kind of useless right now.” Jeongin said with a mouth full of bread. If Felix had done that in front if his mother he would have got his ass beaten (”Where are your manners, boy!” Felix heard the voice in his head). 

”Well, good luck to you. The captain wasn’t on breakfast, so you prolly don’t need to mind about him. Raul took his breakfast to his cabin.” Seungmin ruffled Jeongin’s hair while talking. They were close, Felix could sense it. And the way Jeongin had talked about him…   
”He was standing at the quarter deck when we got here.” Jeongin stuffed another scoop of beans into his mouth.   
”Oh. Well, I guess we’ll have a heading soon. Good, because we’re going to run out of salted pork real quick. I just want to know where we’ll be going.” 

Seungmin was much livelier now, even cracking small smiles here and there. He also didn’t shoot daggers through Felix’s head with his eyes anymore. Jeongin and Seungmin continued their little chit-chat, guessing their whereabouts and where they were heading. Felix followed the conversation with half of an ear, most of his concentration on his food and the surroundings. The other sailors had left the kitchen a while ago, and the three of them were alone now.   
”Well, Felix, you must have a lot of questions.” 

Felix snorted and looked back at Seungmin. Yeah, like, a ton of them. But only the captain, and perhaps Chan could answer most of his questions.   
”Uhh.. yeah-”   
”Alright, ye lil’ rapscallions, get outta here!” A booming voice cut the air, following with a bang of metal against metal. Felix jumped on his seat, startled.   
”Except you, Seungmin. We got some fresh fish from the sea. Whaddaya think? Soup or fried ’n salted?” 

”Fried. We have been eating soup for the last week, the crew’s complaining.” Seungmin rose from his seat and ruffled Jeongin’s hair once more.   
”Should make their own food, then.” The man with the booming voice laughed. Felix turned around, and wasn’t surprised at all. The loud voice belonged to a man so big his head was almost touching the ceiling. Not was he only tall, he was also wide and beefy as hell. The man had a golden skin and a black beard, the wild, black hair was tied under a bandana. If someone told Felix this was the infamous Blackbeard, Felix would have believed them. 

”O! This be the governor’s kid?” The large man looked at Felix. He had a funny accent in his voice.  
”Yep. Raul this is Felix, Felix this is Raul.” Seungmin spoke with a hint of amusement in his voice. Felix nodded at the man, he had no other idea what to do, he was pretty much frozen of fear on his seat.   
”Felix! What a nice name. Ye got a work yet?” Felix noticed the long scar slitting Raul’s features from his right eyebrow to his left cheek, before hurriedly shaking his head.   
”Cat got your tongue? Issokay, I only look scary. I ain’t gonna stab ye. I’m the second cook of this fine house.” Felix nodded again.   
”Chan’s gonna find ye a nice lil job. Actually, we be needing a new boy to wash the dishes, I might tell him that. Don’t worry, kid, we be nice on this ship.” Raul beamed before he turned around and grabbed some dirty pans and pots from the stove. Felix snapped out of his trance and looked at Seungmin, a little terrified.

Seungmin took their plates and cups before shooing Felix and Jeongin away. Their stomachs full the pair went up the stairs back to the main deck.   
”Who the hell was that?” Felix asked Jeongin with a shushed tone.   
”He literally told you like a minute ago. Raul, the other cook. And yeah he looks like he could smash your skull with his pinky fingers but trust me, he’s one of the kindest members of the crew. But don’t be fooled, he’s a freaking bull on the battlefield.” Jeongin told Felix. 

”Oh… so who’s the other cook then?” Felix asked. He had anticipated the cook to be… a lady. Not a six feet five tall guy with a black, thick beard and muscles for days.   
”Seungmin. Seriously, dude, are you dumb?”   
”…But he said he was the son of the cook.”  
”Yes.”  
”Is Raul his father?!”  
”No.”  
”W-”  
”Look, he is the son of the cook, yes, but… his mom is no longer with us.” Jeongin spoke with even a more hushed voice now.   
”…Oh.” Oh! Felix was quite taken aback. He hadn’t expected this.   
”Yeah. Don’t mention that in his presence, please. He’ll tell you about it if you’re worthy in his eyes.”

Felix nodded, feeling a little bad now. So that was the reason Seungmin had those… sad eyes. Sad aura. Sad smile. Probably explained some of his protectiveness over Hyunjin, too. If he had lost one important person in his life, well, naturally he wouldn’t want to lose another one. 

The sun wasn’t just as blinding as before when Jeongin and Felix stepped back on the main deck, some clouds had drifted over it. The sky was just as blue, Felix could see some islands far in the horizon. And the sea? The deepest blue Felix had ever seen in his life. It was a mixture of turquoise and cobalt, reminding him of the painting back at home. Painted in Port Royal, that’s what Felix’s father had said when he brought the painting to Felix. It was a rather pretty painting, a picture of a ship in the middle of the sea. Felix had always imagined what would life on a ship like that be. However, as beautiful the painting was, it didn’t do justice to the actual sea in front of Felix’s very eyes. The stir of the sea, the white, foamy crests of the waves gliding across the vast open, the smell, everything. It was everything Felix had ever wished for. 

And then he turned back to Jeongin and remembered that he was, in fact, on a pirate ship, against his will. Yes, the pirates he had so far met had been… nice. Friendly. Funny. Nothing like the pirates in the stories he had heard as a child. Sure, Felix was still scared, he was afraid he was going to say something dumb and one of the pirates would get mad and throw him overboard, and he still had so so so much to process, he hadn’t completely grasped the whole situation yet, but so far… he was doing just fine. Except he had a ton of questions and he was still a little weak, but otherwise? He was doing good.   
”You ready?” Jeongin’s voice snapped Felix out of his thoughts. The purple-eyed boy was back to his smiling self.   
”Yeah. I guess.”   
”Good! Let’s start from the forecastle!” Jeongin chirped and started walking across the main deck.

”How much do you know about ships in general?” Jeongin asked.   
”Not much.” Felix mumbled.   
”Okay, then I’ll tell you everything I know.” They went past the doors to the crew’s quarters and rose up the stairs to the other upper main deck. There were a couple of sailors, one hunched over a cannon, the three others… napping. The awake one glanced at Jeongin and Felix, but returned back to the cannon. 

”So this is the bow. It’s like the front part of the ship.” Felix nodded, he could figure out that much by himself. A large mast rose up to the sky from the middle of the deck. The sails were tied to the posts, some pirate was climbing up the shrouds with a knife in his mouth. Felix and Jeongin walked right to the front. 

”Nothing really happens on this deck. It has some cannons, and the bowsprit” Jeongin motioned forwards with his hand; ”But otherwise it’s pretty useless. Apart from the mast of course.” Underneath the bowsprit Felix could see the outlines of a wooden lady.   
”That’s Euryale. She’s seen better days.” The time and the sea had clearly done their job washing the paint off of the lady. Even though the colors were mostly gone, Felix could still make out some of the features. The lady had wooden snakes as her hair and an angry look on her face. One of the three gorgon sisters, Felix remembered. It wasn’t long ago they had gone through the mythology of ancient Greek with sir Ainsley. Three sisters. Euryale, Medusa and Stheno. As the tale told, Medusa and Euryale were still sailing through the seven seas, but as for Stheno… Felix had no idea if there even was a third ship. But there sure were rumors. 

”Oh, and when someone yells port, they mean the left side of the ship. And starboard means the right side. And forecastle actually means the area between the bowsprit and the mast, but everyone just calls the whole deck forecastle. And also the crew’s quarters are called forecastle. You’ll get used to it.” Felix was already a little lost but nodded nonetheless. He would get used to it. Yeah. Learning new languages was not his forte, but now he would have to learn the pirate lingo. 

The two of them turned around and walked around the deck, descending the stairs on the other side. Back on the main deck. Jeongin turned around and opened a door to a small closet under the stairs. It was full of guns and swords.   
”In case of a fight, here’s the other gun storage. The other one is on the other side under the stairs as well.” Jeongin motioned at the other side. Felix swallowed.   
”Do… Do fights happen often on this ship?” He asked nervously. Jeongin thought a moment for the answer. 

”Yeah, I guess it’s pretty often. Usually we raid ships that are carrying cargo, so no warships. They’re not hard to raid, usually they give up very quickly because they can’t get away fast nor defend themselves. And then we take the cargo, it’s either riches or food usually. If it’s food, then we don’t have to go to fill up our own storages. If it’s riches, then everyone gets their part and then you can spend it however you want to. Sell it or use it or whatever you want to do.” Jeongin explained. Felix really didn’t like the sound of that, and Jeongin noticed it. He chuckled.   
”Don’t worry, you’re a newbie, Chan will probably order you to the cannons. Except if you’re great with swords. Are you?” 

Felix’s brain was ticking. He really didn’t want to raid other ships! And definitely not with a sword. A sword meant he’d have to kill… people…   
”No.” He quickly answered.   
”Then you’re a cannonman. So am I. Except sometimes I get to use a gun. But it’s very rare.” Jeongin closed the door and turned around before walking to another door. It was the door next to the crew’s cabin. The wall was decorated with the same golden pattern as the on the other side of the deck. Jeongin opened the door, and Felix was faced with an empty stairway down.   
”There’s two ways to the gundeck, this and the hatch in the middle of the deck. The hatch is usually open, except when it’s stormy or the night, so it is used more. 

Felix turned around and there it was, the same hatch he and Hyunjin had used last night. It was on the right side of the ship.   
”That big thing in front of the middle mast is capstan, it is used to lift big cannons from the gun deck. Or to lower cargo in the stores.” Felix could make out the outlines of a bigger hatch in front of the capstan. The two of them crossed the main deck, and Jeongin opened the door next to the kitchen door. A narrow hall, with a door at the end of it and another on the right side.   
”That door at the end is the door to the captain’s son’s cabin. And that other door is the quartermaster’s cabin. No one is allowed here without an invitation, so don’t bother. And Chan doesn’t even spend much time here so if you need to talk to him, he’s most likely at the quarter deck anyway.” The hallway had two lanterns lighting the way.   
”What about the captain’s cabin?” Felix asked. He wanted to know which door to avoid at all costs.  
”At the upper deck.” 

And to the upper deck they went. The upper deck consisted of two parts, the deck where the helm stood and the quarter deck, which was the highest deck on the whole ship. Some more pirates were cleaning cannons on the upper deck, and one was steering the wheel. One was hunched over a table, which had an open map spread out. The face of the guy behind the helm lit up as soon as he saw Felix and Jeongin. Felix recognized him immediately and stopped on his tracks.   
”Hey! Heard you got finally out!” The man, or boy, smiled. He had dark hair and one of the sweetest smiles Felix had ever seen. 

Jeongin noticed Felix’s abrupt stop and dragged him to the boy by his sleeve. Felix didn’t know what to do or say. To be honest, he wanted to punch that guy in the face. With the other hand still on the wheel the boy stuck his other hand out.   
”I’m Sangyeon, nice to finally actually meet you.” Felix looked at the hand, then at the boy, and then at the hand again, before he finally decided to shake it. At least someone still got some manners. Sort of.   
”Felix.” Felix mumbled.   
”I want to apologize for… well, you know. Kidnapping you. It wasn’t my idea, just so you know.” Sangyeon laughed. He had a hearty laugh, but regardless of that, he sounded sincere. Maybe Felix couldn’t punch this guy in the face. 

”Uhh.. it’s okay. At least you didn’t drop me twice.” Felix snorted and Sangyeon laughed at him.   
”Weren’t you supposed to be sewing the sail with Jisung and Hyunjin?” Jeongin butted in. Some other pirates were following the conversation curiously.   
”I was, but Chan came in and said he needed to make out the bearings with the cap and needed me on the helm. Looks like we finally have a heading!” Jeongin’s face lit up.   
”Finally! Any rumors where we are going?”   
”Chan said something about the Brethren, but I’m not too sure. That would mean we’d be headed to either Tortuga or Curacao. Or both.” Sangyeon answered and ruffled his hair. 

Sangyeon was dressed a little differently from the majority of the pirates. He had long pants on and instead of going barefoot, he had boots on. He also had a light blue shirt with darker blue stripes on, and a navy blue bandana. Felix was half sure he had seen the bandana somewhere before. And the shirt. The mention of those places caused some mumbling around them. Shivers ran down Felix’s spine at the mention of Tortuga. 

”Well, we haven’t been to Tortuga properly for a while.” Jeongin sounded very unaffected, like Sangyeon just hadn’t mentioned the place from Felix’s worst dreams.  
”True. I wonder how the old man’s doing.”   
”Your dad?”  
”Yeah. He was in a pretty bad shape since I last saw him.”   
”Aw, that sucks.”   
”Yeah, well he’s had it coming. Should stay away from rum.” 

Felix felt a little awkward just standing there. Obviously, the crew was very close to each other since they could just talk about things like these so casually.   
”You showing Felix around?” Sangyeon asked Jeongin.   
”Yep. We have only checked the main deck so far.”   
”Hyunjin and Jisung are at the stores I think. If you see them, tell Jisung he’s going to take my place at some point.”   
”I’ll tell him that.” Jeongin promised; ”C’mon, Lix, we still got a lot to see.” He grabbed Felix by his arm and dragged him around the upper deck. 

”Lix?” Felix laughed.  
”Yeah, you’re Lix now, like it or not. Also, this is the mizzenmast.” Jeongin motioned to the large mast. It was just a tad shorter than the main mast in the middle. Some pirate was hanging upside down from the shrouds, trying to tie the sail to its place. At the back of the upper deck was a pair of beautifully decorated doors following the color theme, dark brown and gold.   
”The captain’s cabin. Fanciest of them all.” Jeongin told, still hanging on Felix’s arm. Felix made a disgusted face which made Jeongin laugh. Beside the door were yet another set of stairs, which led to the highest deck of them all. 

Felix and Jeongin rose up the stairs and were met with a strong breeze of wind.  
”This is the actual quarter deck, but people just usually refer to the whole upper deck as the quarter deck.” The very rear of the ship was also decorated with swirls and crown-like shapes, rising a couple of feet above from the deck floor and Felix’s head. Above them all were three huge lanterns. Gold and brown, as everything else. Jeongin let go of Felix’s arm and climbed up the decorations. Felix contemplated for a second before following him. 

The shapes of the decor made it easy to climb on top of the rear ornament. Felix took ahold of the lantern post but didn’t dare to throw his legs over like Jeongin did, even though the space was quite wide. Felix looked down and saw more golden decorations glimmering in the sunlight. And sea, far below him.   
”If you happen to drop from here, try to aim for the balcony of the captain’s quarters. Or else you’ll be fucked.” Jeongin giggled. The stirring water underneath them didn’t look too inviting.  
”Yeah. I figured.” 

”And just so you know, the captain’s son likes to spend time here.”   
”Oh?”   
”Yeah. And I do, too. The view from here is the best, apart from the crow’s nest.” Felix nodded, and turned his head around. It truly was the best view. Felix could see the whole ship from here, and the way they were going. The whole, wide sea. Right in front of his very eyes. It made him feel some things, things Felix really didn’t know the name of, but he was pretty sure it was anticipation. And the literal feel of freedom. 

Felix looked down again. Along with the beautiful golden swirls he could make out the name of the ship, painted with golden paint as well. Euryale, that’s what it said. Underneath the name the ornaments divided to both sides and a large balcony was set in the middle. Under that balcony was another one, probably belonged to the captain’s son’s cabin, who apparently didn’t have a name since everyone referred to him as the captain’s son, Felix figured.   
”Jeongin, what have I said about climbing up the rear?” 

Felix nearly dropped down to the feisty waters, but quickly grabbed the lantern pole with both of his hands. Jeongin looked just as startled and pulled his legs back from the edge before turning around. Felix jumped back to the deck with haste and turned to see who was talking to them.   
”Finally got you out of the brig, I see.” And sure enough, it was the sad-eyes leaning against the railing of the quarterdeck with his arms crossed over his chest. He had a large bruise on his arm, shifting from blue to purple to yellow. 

Jeongin hopped down next to Felix.   
”Hi Chan!” he smiled brightly at the quartermaster, ”you have specifically told me not to do that but after contemplating for like three seconds I have once again decided not to listen to you.” Chan rolled his eyes, but didn’t show any annoyance. The quartermaster turned his gaze back to Felix.   
”Well, I suppose you’re Felix.” 

Felix swallowed and nodded. Chan looked… not terrifying, but nearly terrifying. Sure, the poodle-like black curly hair really wasn’t terrifying, it was more of the piercing stare and the power the man exuded. The sad-eyes. The eyes that had seen way too much. They were almost pitch black, matching with the wild hair. Differing from the other pirates on the boat, Chan was wearing a black waistcoat over his white shirt. Over the silky, navy blue sash was a black belt with a pistol and a sword hanging. And some other stuff, like a telescope and pearls. Pearls? Yes, Felix saw right, a string of pearls was hanging from Chan’s belt. And a water flask. Or at least Felix was pretty sure it was a water flask. 

Chan had a couple of rings on his fingers and a golden necklace. It looked a lot like a medallion. Unlike almost every pirate on the ship, he wasn’t barefoot but wore a pair of buckled boots, and he also had long pants like Sangyeon did. Clearly not just a basic crew member, as Jeongin had earlier told him. Chan measured Felix up and down with his eyes and it made the orange-haired boy feel very uncomfortable.   
”Still refusing to talk to me?” Chan’s voice wasn’t just as intimidating as he looked. It was a little rough, probably from yelling at the crew, but it still had the same velvet tone to it, as Felix had noticed at the brig. 

Jeongin decided not to interfere, even though the situation was growing a little more tense second by second. You don’t cross the quartermaster, one of the rules even Felix knew. But he had no idea what to say. He had been talking to basically everyone now, but… he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to give in to Chan. Eventually he did, not wanting to cause any more tension between the two of them, since it could lead to a very unfortunate situation on Felix’s side.   
”Not really.” The quartermaster snorted but looked like he had just won something. Maybe he had. Felix was on the edge. 

”Good, it’s just going to get you killed here. The crew might seem nice but they’re a little hot-headed.” Felix swallowed.   
”Chan, c’mon, stop scaring him, he’s already terrified.” Jeongin butted in, defending Felix. The boy stepped a little closer to him, their hands brushing. Jeongin’s touch was soothing and made the situation a little less bad. Luckily.   
”Well, he’s going to find that out sooner or later anyway. Might as well hear it from me.” 

Felix really did not like the sound of that. To his delight, Chan straightened himself from the railing, with the intention of leaving. Jeongin pouted at the quartermaster, which softened the man a little and he cracked a small smile.   
”No but honestly, I don’t want you in any more trouble. I’m actually quite sorry we had to drag you here in the first place. But not entirely sorry.” And with those words he left down the stairs back to the upper deck. 

”...The hell was that about?” Felix asked, a little flustered. He just didn’t understand this Chan guy at all. Jeongin was easy, he was bright and happy and nice, but Chan was just a little horrifying with his mood swings.   
”He’s just a little dramatic, likes to put on a show for the newbies. But it’s one of his ways of keep the crew respecting him. I mean, he looks quite as scary as a puppy, but he’s smart and fair so the crew really likes him. But you gotta show some dominance on the ship every once in a while, or otherwise someone else is going to take your place.” Felix nodded. It made sense, yeah. He had heard about how strict the hierarchy was on navy ships, so pirate ships were most likely quite similar. Or so it seemed. Jeongin huffed, but took Felix by the arm again.   
”Enough of the fresh sea air, let’s go downstairs. And by downstairs I mean the lower decks.” 

Felix wasn’t entirely sure why he let the younger boy cling to him and drag him around. Usually he wasn’t very touchy with strangers, in fact, he didn’t like it when people he didn’t know even as much as slightly brushed his arm. He was totally different with the people he knew, though. His mother had called him with a nickname ’teddybear’ when he had been small, just because Felix liked to hug people. Now that he thought of it, the name had been a little ridiculous. 

Down the stairs to upper deck, down the stairs to the main deck and finally down the ladder from the hatch in the middle of the main deck.   
”The gun deck.” Jeongin introduced. More pirates were scrubbing the big cannons.   
”Is it some kind of spring cleaning day or something?” Felix asked. Almost everyone he had seen today had been cleaning something.   
”Nah, just the weekly cleaning operation. Gotta keep everything on check, you’ll never know when the enemy attacks.” 

The same curious mumbling could be heard once again, but Felix chose to not to care about it. He looked around. The gun deck was around the same size as the main deck. Small windows on the either side of the hull let in just enough light to see properly. In front of every window was also a cannon tied to its place. Rope ends were hanging from the ceiling and barrels were stacked on the rear end of the gun deck. Felix noticed same kind of trapdoors on the floor as on the main deck, but most of them were closed. 

”Most of those are shortcuts to the storages. It’s gonna take you awhile to remember which one is which, but you can get to them just as easy from the lower deck as well.” Jeongin told him when he noticed Felix eyeing the doors. Lazily he pointed at them one at a time.   
”Food. More food. Water. Wine and rum. Some clothes and mattresses and things like that. Gunpowder. Ship repairing equipment. And so on. Basically, everything you need for voyaging.” Felix nodded.   
”But no one’s allowed there without a permission from someone in the higher position. That means either captain, quartermaster, in some cases the bosun. Or the cooks.” Felix nodded again. 

The two of them headed to the stairway in the forecastle side of the gun deck. Felix hadn’t taken even two steps on the stairs before he accidentally bumped on someone coming up.   
”Oh, sorry!” Felix squeaked. The eyes he met were pitch black and mean-looking.   
”Watch where you’re going.” The boy coming upwards simply said with a tone so icy Felix felt chills run down his spine. The boy pushed past them hurriedly without saying anything else. Felix turned around to take look at the bypassing pirate better. He had chestnut brown hair and was dressed in all black, and he was roughly the same age with Felix. 

”No need to be such a dick.” Felix quietly said to Jeongin when the stranger was gone.   
”That was Minho. He’s a new one, been on this ship for only a couple of months but I’ve only talked to him like three times. He freaks me out.” Felix could totally see why. Holy cow, the boy had only brushed past him yet it still sent shivers down Felix’s spine.   
”The storage deck” Jeongin spread is arms out. The last time it had been dark, but now some of the torches were lit and Felix was actually able to see around. The air was a lot more humid down here, and Felix guessed they were just above the waterline. He could hear the waves hitting against the hull of the ship just meters away.

The storage rooms were separated by panels that didn’t entirely reach the roof. Each little cubicle was full of boxes and barrels. Some of the storages had actual doors, and they were locked.  
”How about all the treasure you loot?” Felix asked his little tour guide. Jeongin pointed at the direction they came from, somewhere in the front of the ship, and sure enough, there was a locked door on the front wall.   
”There’s a separate room for them. Everyone has their own barrel for their treasure, and everyone checks their gold like every other day so there’s really no point in trying to steal anything. Usually the thieves get caught and well… keelhauling is not a very nice way to go.” 

Felix shuddered at the thought of it. He knew what keelhauling meant, it was a torture method in which the wrongdoer was tied on a rope and then hauled over the edge, only to be dragged to the other side under the hull of the ship. Poor guy would usually either drown or hit their head on a barnacle and die. Felix did not want that kind of end.   
”Then there are other storage rooms there, and the capstan linked to the anchor.” Jeongin pointed at the end of the storage deck which had a door that was ajar.   
”And there’s also stairs to the brig and bilge. Pray to gods you’ll never have to go to the bilge. It’s the lowest part of the ship and full of rats and… other things.”   
”Like what?”  
”Dirty water. Probably something dead. The ballast which keeps the ship stable.” Something dead. Ew. No wonder the brig had smelled musty and muddy if it was right over the bilge. 

Suddenly loud laughter pierced through the air. It came from one of the storage rooms at the rear. The other voice sounded really familiar. Jeongin’s face lit up, and once again Felix noticed he was being dragged to somewhere. Jeongin opened the door to the little hallway and turned right. Light was coming from the other room, the one beside it was locked. Felix and Jeongin stumbled in the lit room and were faced with meters and meters of white fabric and sitting in the middle of it all, Hyunjin and some other guy. 

”Evening, gentlemen!” The other guy clamored.   
”It’s ten in the morning, Jisung.” Jeongin laughed. He let go of Felix’s arm.  
”Oh you must be Felix! Hyunjin told me, like, everything about you!” The Jisung dude had a smile that could heal, Felix noticed.   
”I- uhh- yeah, hey.” he mumbled, a little flustered. He wondered what Hyunjin had told Jisung about him. Then it hit Felix – this wasn’t the first time he saw Jisung. The pirate had been one of those that brought him to the brig. The one who looked at him with the sorry expression.   
”Oh wow, your voice is really deep. Hyunjin told me that too. But wow, mate.” Felix felt the tips of his ears turn red. Hyunjin laughed, his bright voice making Felix’s stomach twist. Apparently the… siren… charms were leaking through his facade once again. 

”You getting that sail ready?” Jeongin asked and measured the work with his eyes. Both of the boys had a needle and some thread between their fingers. The job was just halfway done.   
”Slowly. It’s torn really bad, so this is gonna take some time.” Hyunjin answered.   
”But feel free to join us! Especially you” Jisung pointed at Felix with his needle; ”it’s always a pleasure to get some new blood around.”  
”Well, we have pretty much toured everything so, why not.” Jeongin said and sat down. Felix did the same. He felt safe, when Hyunjin was around again. 

”So! Felix, what was the life like in Nassau?” Jisung began the conversation right away. He looked very interested in Felix, which made Felix a little more flustered. He wasn’t used to attention like this.   
”Well… basic? I mean, I am… was in the upper class so easy. Lessons every day, history and astronomy and French and maths and stuff like that. And… I don’t know. Boring.” Felix stuttered a little. 

”That sounds horrible. I was literally born on the seas so I have no idea what’s life like on land. And I also plan to die on the seas so I’m probably never gonna find out. But can you like... read charts? If you have studied astronomy.” Jisung had a huge personality, it was evident by now. The boy was around the same age as the others. The clothes he was wearing were the same as everyone else, except Jisung had a red bandana tied around his head and a red sash around his waist. He also had a large scar on his face, slitting from above his right eyebrow to the right side of his lips. The upper lip was split by the scar. It was quite an old one, so it had healed pretty well, but it was deep and not that fancy-looking. Must have been a painful experience. 

”Yeah, I can. It’s not really that hard.”   
”Yes it is.” Hyunjin butted in; ”Ow!” and accidentally stabbed himself on his finger with his needle.   
”That’s so cool! Felix can be one of the charters then. I also read them, and Chan does. And Jackson, the one with the eye patch.” Felix just nodded at Jisung’s words. He had no idea who Jackson, the one with the eye patch, was.  
”Have you ever sailed before?” The boy continued. He slicked his black hair back, away from his eyes.   
”Nope. Or, well, once when I was like seven. We traveled from London to Nassau.” 

”London! You’re kidding, right? The place’s like a freaking labyrinth. It’s huge!” Felix snorted at that. London? A labyrinth? Nah.  
”Sorry, Jisung has never been in a city bigger than Tortuga.” Hyunjin laughed.   
”I have! Singapore, mate!”   
”We saw only in like, two places from the whole city.” Jeongin joined the on-going discussion.   
”Well it counts! But hey c’mon, London! The king of England has promised money of my head. I accidentally sunk half of his armada two years ago.”   
”Jisung, you sunk like two ships. And it wasn’t just you, it was also Chan and Brian and me an-” 

”Sorry to interrupt your delightful little trip down the memory lane.” Felix almost got a heart attack because of the surprise. He turned around to face the pirate at the doorway. It was Chan, and he sounded a little concerned. He looked straight at Felix with those same sad eyes.

”Felix. The captain wants to see you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh, lixie, it's not looking too good for you! i hope y'all liked this chapter as much as i liked writing it!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	5. 5

”The captain wants to see you.”

Felix’s heart stopped beating for a second. Chills ran down his spine, he felt like suffocating. The same cold hands of fear he had felt back in the closet of the Smith house clasped their hands around his neck once again. He could hear blood rushing in his veins, mix up with adrenaline, the storage room felt all too small for a moment, the walls were closing around him. Felix swallowed, gripped the fabric of his trousers. He felt the panic rising from the pits of his stomach. Desperately he looked around, trying to find a savior from his new friends. His eyes finally met Hyunjin’s, who looked at him with a reassuring smile and nodded. You’re going to be fine, the smile promised. The little glimmer of nervousness gave away the lie, though.

”Okay.” Felix breathed out, barely audible. He rose to his feet and faced Chan, who looked at him with a little concerned glint in his eyes. Everyone remained silent, the joy all of them had felt just seconds ago suddenly gone down the drain. The air felt tense, heavy even. The quartermaster simply nodded and turned on his tracks, expecting Felix to follow him. Felix glanced at the remaining three pirates with a plea of help in his eyes before he followed Chan. Pity, that was all he got from the three. 

Up, up, up to the gun deck, up to the main deck, up to the quarter deck. The crew was still working, some of them scrubbing the deck floor instead of the cannons now. Felix had beads of cold sweat forming on his temple despite the nearly-scorching sun. His heart was beating rapidly, and he felt a lump in his throat. Felix also felt pairs of eyes following him but didn’t dare to turn his head. He kept his gaze at the back of the quartermaster’s neck. He was scared. Really. Fucking. Scared. 

Chan stopped in front of the pair doors. The lanterns next to the doors glimmered in the sunlight, so did the gilded doorknobs. Skulls, Felix finally realized. The circles and swirls formed small, decorative skulls on the wooden doors, those kinds of patterns that once seen couldn’t be unseen. The quartermaster turned to look at Felix, the look on his face a lot softer now. Almost compassionate. Almost.

”Straighten your back. Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to. Keep the eye contact. Don’t speak over him.” Chan lifted his arms and fixed Felix’s shirt from the shoulders. Not that there was anything to fix, the shirt was fitted. Maybe it was an act of empathy.  
”Call him captain. Don’t call him sir or some shit you landlubbers do. And for the love of god, don’t spit on his face again. He’s not called one of the scourges of the seven seas for nothing.” Felix’s whole body tensed at the last words, like the string of a violin. 

Chan knocked on the captain’s quarter’s door one, two, three times. He waited for one, two, three seconds, before he twisted the doorknob, and pushed the door open. Chan nodded at Felix, who looked like he was about to throw up any second now. The quartermaster lifted his hand on Felix’s shoulder again before pushing him in. The door behind Felix closed, the click of the lock almost echoing in the dimly lit room. Chan had left him, all alone, and Felix was terrified.

Felix couldn’t move. He didn’t want to. He wanted to smash the door open and escape the situation, run to the bilge or whatever Jeongin had called that thing in the bottom of the ship to hide the captain. He wanted to throw himself overboard and jump in to the swirling waters from the quarter deck or do anything else than stand in the doorway of the captain’s cabin.   
It took a second for Felix’s eyes to get used to the dim light. In front of him was a small hallway that had one lit up lantern lighting the way. The flame flickered, the shadows dancing against the dark, wooden walls. On the right was a door that was shut. The hallway ended to another doorway that led to a room, and Felix supposed that was the way he’d have to go. But he didn’t want to. The brown walls looked almost red in the light of the lantern.   
”Come in.” resonated from the room in front of Felix. The voice was heavy and raspy, and he recognized it immediately – the captain. It took a second for Felix to get his legs to work, he was nearly paralyzed of fear. With slow, careful steps he approached the doorway and stepped into the room. 

The smell in the room was musky, a little musty. The air was surprisingly chill, the hotness of the midday outside nothing but a memory now. The first thing Felix noticed was that there were candles everywhere. Lanterns hanging from the ceiling, in the middle of the room a rather large chandelier hanging, full of small candles, some already burnt to the very end. Candlesticks on the tables and dressers. 

Heavy, velvety curtains had been dragged in front of the windows. Felix couldn’t make it out in the dark, but he was pretty certain they were dark red. The room spread to right and left, leaving Felix standing in the middle of it. To his left was a niche, completely dark. The candlelight wasn’t strong enough to light up the dark corner, but Felix could see the outlines of a sofa and a table. Slowly Felix turned his gaze to the right, and as he had suspected; there was the captain. 

The captain was writing something with his quill swishing and flicking. The man didn’t look at Felix, and Felix chose to remain silent. The desk in front of the captain was huge and full of different parchments and maps and books. Some ink had spilled over the papers. The desk looked heavy and was most probably made of mahogany (it looked like the one Felix had at home, only his wasn’t as big). Around the captain were lit lanterns, and two candlesticks stood on the table. Behind the captain was another dresser, also made of mahogany. There was a crystal ball on top of it, glowing white. Stearin had dribbled on the surface of the dresser from the candles above it. 

Red, fluffy carpets softened the floor under Felix’s feet. The carpets were clearly old, a little frayed here and there. Felix didn’t want to know why the captain had chosen red carpets in the room. In front of the huge windows was a table and a set of armchairs with a red, velvety upholstery. A tray was still sitting on top of the wooden table with a kettle and an empty platter on it.

The walls were full of paintings and rather macabre things, covering the basic brown wood behind; skulls sitting on top of other skulls, swords including katanas and curtanas, some rusted out of the blood that had been once left on them (Felix shuddered), a shrunken head, and a torn flag which also had some blood on it. The flag was black, and it had three skulls on it. One of the skulls had something swirly around it. It didn’t take long; Stheno, Felix realized. That flag had once been the flag of Stheno, the third sister. So the tale was real.

”Sit down.” The captain’s voice was low, dangerous. He didn’t move his eyes from the paper, just kept on writing. Felix, with cautious steps walked closer to the desk. His heart was pounding, and the boy was quite sure it was about to burst from his chest any second now. Felix sat on the armchair placed in front of the writing desk. It was similar to the ones in the middle of the room. 

Red, gold and brown. Those seemed to be the captain’s favorite colors. The same colors could be seen on his clothes; golden rings around his fingers, golden necklaces, even his ears had golden rings pierced through the lobes. The clothes were black apart from the red shirt and the red feather sticking from the captain’s hat. The fancy, black coat with golden embroidery was placed on top of the backrest of the captain’s chair. It was probably velvet. The sleeve of the captain’s shirt had rolled up a little, and Felix could make out old, worn-out tattoos on his arm. 

Felix’s back was tense as a bowstring, he didn’t dare to sit properly on the chair, so instead he sat just on the edge. His eyes were fixated on the captain. Felix could still hear the blood pumping in his head, the tips of his ears were tingling. His throat felt dry. Finally, the captain stopped writing after what felt like hours and lifted his gaze from his papers to Felix. Felix gulped, the stare was far from friendly. It was measuring, intimidating, frightening, all at the same time. Paralyzing. Felix couldn’t move.   
”Your name?” 

Every single cell of Felix’s body was telling him to escape and run and not to tell his name and fight because he didn’t want to give in to the captain. Felix despised him, he hated the fact that the captain would have any kind of authority over him. Giving his name to the captain would grant the captain all of the power he had over the crew of the ship over Felix as well. He wanted to fight so bad that power. But he didn’t want to die. Felix bit the inner skin of his lower lip, eyebrows furrowing a little. He absolutely hated this.  
”Felix.” he breathed out, after a minute of hesitation and contemplation.

The captain nodded. Nodded. No smiling, no signs of victory, nothing. The man leaned back against the backrest and took a good look at Felix.   
”Do you know why you’re here?”   
”No.” 

The captain grunted. His eyebrows were bushy, face scarred and beat by the weathers of the sea during the years of voyaging.   
”No, captain.”   
”No, captain.” Felix repeated and mentally slapped himself. He was really going to get himself killed if he were to continue like this, he was certain of it.   
”Do you know the story of the three sisters? The three captains?”   
”Not really. I’ve only heard parts of it.” Felix waited for a second before the captain’s face turned grim; ”captain.” he quickly corrected himself. The authority, it was there in the words, in the moment. Felix hated it. The captain rose from his seat and took the torn flag that had been hanging over his head on the ceiling before dropping it in front of Felix. 

”Three scourges of the seven seas. Three sisters of ships, made to look alike, only differences in the bow and the rear. Three captains, me, and my two brothers, the infamous Seo family. Even William Kidd feared us. Twenty years ago the three ships were voyaging from the Mediterranean to the coast of France and England. Back then the armadas of the navy were small, only twenty ships or so. We dodged them, sank a couple but otherwise left them alone. Our goal was to resupply in Liverpool and then head to Caribbean.” The captain walked behind Felix, hand gliding along the backrest of Felix’s chair, his voice low and steady. Felix could feel cold sweat running down his back.

”Everything went just fine, we had just left Liverpool. That city had a secret dock for pirates. And the whole city was rotten from the inside anyway, you only needed to give some gold to the authorities and they’d let you do anything you wanted. Don’t know if that’s how it still works.” 

The captain had stopped to admire a painting of a ship on the sea. Felix didn’t dare to rise from his seat, so instead he turned his head and just followed the captain from the corner of his eye.   
”It was nightfall. Medusa went first, then us, and Stheno last. We were a couple of miles away from the port, it was foggy as hell. And then, all of a sudden, cannons went off behind us, and the air was filled with the rugged screams of the crew of Stheno.” Felix could hear the bitterness in the captain’s voice, as well as a dash of nostalgia. Memories. Painful, but oh, so powerful. 

”We turned, but it was too late. The only thing we saw was sinking Stheno, and my youngest brother, who had been hanged from his very own middle mast. And the rear view of his royalty’s very own navy ship, the HMS Victory.” 

Felix felt the presence of the captain get closer. He could hear his breathing, he could feel in his bones how the man was staring him down with disgust, with years of suffering and rage. Felix didn’t dare to move, not even blink. Then he felt a touch on his cheek, neck, shoulder. It was feather-like, yet still rough, the cold metal of the rings felt burning against Felix’s skin. It was the captain, and oh god he was going to snap Felix’s neck right now oh god oh god-. 

”Do you know, who was the captain of HMS Victory at that time?” The man breathed out, just next to Felix’s ear. His thick beard was tickling Felix’s neck, but the situation was far from funny. Felix swallowed, but forced the answer out of him, barely audible;  
”My father.” 

The captain chuckled, but there was no joy evident in the noise. He let go of Felix’s shoulder and Felix let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. The captain took a few steps back, before continuing in a much louder voice, laced with anger.  
”Charles Lee! The captain of HMS Victory, roughly thirty years old, the son of Barnaby Lee. Family of great captains and voyagers. And he was on a mission to sink every. Single. Pirate. Ship in the Atlantic sea. Every pirate knew him, everyone wanted to get rid of him. And then he went and sank the Stheno, one of the three sisters.” The captain spat out, hissing the last words. 

The captain circled his table and sat down on his chair again, staring at Felix with those heavy eyes. The man hated his father. The man hated his entire bloodline.   
”He almost got us, too. In front of Aruba a few years after Stheno had gone to Davy Jones’ locker. But we fought back, and Victory got too many holes on its hull and had to retreat. And me and my brother swore by our lives we wouldn’t let that sad excuse of a captain go to his grave without feeling the same loss as we did when he took Stheno from us.” The captain paused for a second, reading the expression on Felix’s face. He was waiting for him to answer, Felix realized. 

”And then you took… me.”   
”We did.” Felix’s brain was ticking.   
”But why? Why me?” … ”Captain.”   
”Your father doesn’t sail anymore, does he? We had to make up an alternative. Then I knew I had someone who was in debt for me… I had helped him with some finances and now they’d have to give me information in return. And I wanted to know every little detail of the Lee family.” 

Felix’s breath hitched.   
”Mister Smith.” The captain smirked and leaned back on his seat.   
”You’re not as stupid as you look. Smith told me the closest to your father were your mother and you. As much as I’d love some more ladies on this boat, you were much easier to catch.” Felix nodded. He didn’t have anything to say, really. The questions that had been running around in his head had been finally answered, and he couldn’t believe it. Mister Smith. He had been behind all of this. He had lied right at their faces, destroyed their family. He had betrayed them, he had sold Felix for these filthy little pirates, just as Felix had initially suspected. And now they were probably back in Nassau and Mister Smith would just shake his head and smile like nothing had ever happened and… 

Felix was furious. He just couldn’t imagine how his mother was feeling, he couldn’t imagine the look on his father’s face. The betrayal, the loss, all of it. Felix wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to throw things and curse at the captain, but he didn’t. He couldn’t do anything. He just sat there and chewed his lower lip, trying to keep the tears away from his eyes. The captain looked like he was enjoying this. Sadistic son of a bitch. Finally. Some other emotion in that man’s face than rage. 

”So… now I’m the equivalent to your brother. Captain.” Felix spat out the last word. His voice was shaking, and the captain looked victorious.   
”Indeed. Now your father shall feel exactly how me and my brother felt back then.” 

Felix was at a loss of words. He was burning inside. He didn’t know how to feel. Or what the hell was he even feeling? There was a storm of emotions mixing inside of him, anger, disappointment, fear. Loss. Rage. And on top of it all, sadness. Mister Smith had been a father-figure to him for years. And now, all down the drain in one night. 

Why? Why had he done that? Why hadn’t he lied? Why hadn’t he told Felix’s father, so they could have at least tried to escape or hide or do something. Why? And how, how did the captain get in touch with Mister Smith? Without Felix’s father noticing? This was all getting far too much for Felix, who was just staring at the mahogany table in front of him, hoping his stare would set the papers on top of it ablaze. 

”All of this… just because of some stupid revenge?” Felix whispered, more to himself. He hadn’t meant that to slip out. The captain looked at him before leaning closer;  
”Stupid revenge?” He slowly repeated the words;  
”You call. This. A stupid revenge?” A sudden surge of bravery took over Felix, he completely forgot the man before him was totally capable of killing him.   
”Yes. Captain.”

A slap. The captain slapped him across his right cheek again. It stung, it really did. Felix could feel where the metal of the rings dragged over his skin. There would be a bruise in the morning. If Felix were to live that long.  
”You call my revenge stupid? The revenge for my dead brother?” The captain hissed through his teeth. Maybe he had expected Felix just to take the blame and cry for forgiveness. Felix lifted his eyes back to the captain, his hands were shaking. Out of fear or adrenaline? He wasn’t sure either. 

”I’m not even a part of this! I wasn’t even born then!” Felix almost yelled. He was tired of holding back.   
”This is not about you, you bilge rat!”   
”Yet here I am, on this goddamn ship with filthy pirates for the things I’ve never done! I am not my father!” The captain’s eyes turned to slits and he rose up. So did Felix.   
”You are your father’s blood!”   
”I’m not him! I didn’t do anything! Why didn’t you just take the revenge on him?!”  
”I did!”   
”By kidnapping me from my family! And destroying everything I ever had! Why don’t you just kill me, then, if you want to get back at my father so bad?! It’s not like your sweet little brother is alive either, is it?!” Felix yelled at the top of his lungs now. He didn’t think, he just spat out whatever came to his mind right then, right there. He let all of the frustration, all of the anger he had held back flow through his body. He was shaking from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet and he felt hot tears welling in his eyes. 

”Maybe I will.” The captain kicked his chair down and surged towards Felix from behind the table. Felix realized his error a second too late and panicked, scrambling backwards, almost stumbling on the armchair he had been sitting on. The captain pulled his sword from its sheath. It looked golden in the candle light, the rubies shone from the handle, reflecting beautifully. Felix’s back hit against one of the dressers, the candles on top of it toppling over and spilling hot stearin down his back. Felix almost cried out in pain. 

The captain brought his sword ready for an attack, walking closer with every passing millisecond, Felix grabbed the candle on top of the dresser and threw it at the captain, hitting him on the elbow. The captain barely flinched and with his sword aimed at Felix chest he lunged forwards. Felix closed his eyes, prayed to whichever God was out there, hoped his death would be fast and painless, and that his father would sink this whole goddamn ship and its crew someday. 

Clang. The stab never came. The hollow noise of a sword clanking against another sword resonated through the room, echoing in Felix’s ears. Heavy breathing, except that instead of two people breathing Felix heard three. He had clutched his chest in an attempt to protect himself from the impact. He opened his eyes slowly and lifted his gaze from the floor. There was another person, standing between him and the captain, with a sword on his hand, blocking the captain’s blade from piercing Felix’s heart. 

”What the hell are you doing?” The captain asked the stranger, clearly furious. Felix straightened his back little by little.   
”Just think this through.” The stranger snarled. He had a rough voice that had a nasal tone to it. It was a man’s voice. No, a boy’s, there was no that sort of roughness in it that only those who had seen the whole world had. 

The captain pulled his sword away from the boy, putting it back to its sheath. He glared at the boy who was shorter than the captain, and clearly smaller in build, too. How on earth had he managed to block the captain’s sword?   
”Think what through, son? You heard him, he wanted to die.” The captain glanced at Felix.  
”You know damn well his father is very capable of sailing and HMS Victory is still anchored in front of Nassau. What makes you think he wouldn’t come after his son? Do you think he doesn’t know it was you who took him?” The boy had a biting tone to his speech. His father sighed and stormed back to his desk. 

”He could have burned with the damn town for all we know.” The captain grumbled.   
”He could also have not burned. He could be sailing towards us the very moment, we don’t know. That boy might be our only thing to negotiate with if they catch up on us.” The boy was right, even Felix knew that. The captain scowled;   
”If.” The boy sighed and finally put his own sword away. 

In the candlelight Felix could only make out that the boy was a tad shorter than him and had black hair. He was wearing a dark-colored shirt and had a sash tied around his waist. Multiple rings were glimmering around his fingers, too. He still had his back turned to Felix, so Felix really couldn’t get a full picture. 

”Whatever. Take him out. I don’t want to see him. Tell Chan to make him a deckboy or something. And if he messes up, throw him overboard.” The captain mumbled and returned back to his parchments, clearly mad. Felix was also still fuming but knew to keep his mouth shut. His hands were shaking, his heart pounding against his chest from the adrenaline.

The boy quickly took Felix by the sleeve of his shirt and yanked him away from the captain’s desk. With fast, confident steps he dragged Felix from the dimly lit room to the hallway and opened the door to the quarter deck. The bright light of the sun blinded Felix for a moment, and during that moment the boy closed the door behind them and let go of Felix’s sleeve. The humidity and scorching sun tickled Felix’s skin. Felix turned to his savior, he wanted to see who had prevented the sword from piercing his heart. 

Felix met the stormiest eyes he had ever seen in his life. They were the darkest, deepest shade of blue, so dark they almost looked black. Felix could swear for his life he saw foamy waves swirling inside the boy’s irises. He stared right back at Felix, his gaze was intense, nearly piercing. Cold even (but weren’t the seas always cold?). The look in the boy’s eyes was a little curious, examining. 

Black, wind-swept hair fell over the boy’s forehead, framing his face beautifully. He wasn’t wearing a bandana like most of other crew, no, his hair was down, slightly curled from the ends due to the humidity. A little too long, just a little more and it would cover the boy’s eyes. Felix tore his stare away from the boy’s dark orbs to study his face more. He had a long, straight nose. Pouty lips, there was a tiny scar underneath his lower lip on the left side. A pointy chin. Felix could have said he looked funny if it weren’t for the eyes. 

The boy was wearing a similar outfit as all of the others, naturally, his shirt was black, but the sash around his waist was bright red, differing from the usual whites and blacks and browns. Instead of breeches he had black, fitted trousers and his leatherboots were almost knee-high. Over the sash was tied a leather belt, the sheath was hanging from it belt along with a blunderbuss. The boy looked kind of small. Not small-small, Felix could see he was built, but his shoulders weren’t that broad, nor was he tall. Felix lifted his gaze back to the boy’s face. He was looking at Felix with his other eyebrow cocked. Felix had got caught. 

”Well?” the boy finally spoke. His skin was sunkissed. The wind swept some of his hair away from his face, and Felix could see another thin line on his forehead. For a split second he wondered the story behind that scar.   
”What?” Felix blurted out, a little taken aback. Did he do something wrong?   
”What?” the black-haired boy repeated, clearly mocking Felix’s confusion. Felix didn’t know what to do or say. The boy just stared at him, examining from head to toe.   
”Well, you can start by saying ’thank you’ for saving your ass. I doubt the captain would have stopped and you’d be lying there dead if it weren’t for me.” Oh, so that’s what he was waiting for.   
”O-oh, uhhh… thank you.” Felix stuttered. The boy’s gaze was getting a little too burning. 

An awkward silence fell between them, and the realization finally hit Felix. Yeah. He had almost died. He had been just inches away from the piercing sword, and if it weren’t for this stranger’s great timing and sword skills, he’d actually be dead. Lying on those red carpets, bleeding. That was probably the reason the carpets were red, anyway. 

But where on earth had the boy just appeared from? Felix hadn’t heard the door opening or closing. The dark corner? Had he been sitting there the whole time? And he had had a small conversation with the captain, sword to sword. Son. The captain had called him son. He wouldn’t do that just to any boy on the boat, would he? And Jeongin had mentioned earlier the captain had a son, so this one had to be it. Seemed like the captain had done at least one beautiful thing in his life. 

Footsteps approached the pair from the stairs, and Chan’s head popped up, he was coming from the main deck. He looked surprised when he saw the two boys standing in front of the double doors, eyeing each other, one a little more scared than the other.  
“I heard the captain yelling. What happened?” Chan wiped sweat off of his face. He had probably been working, Felix figured. 

“Take a wild guess.” The captain’s son grunted.   
“You pissed him off?” Chan turned his eyes to Felix. Felix lifted his hands in a defensive manner.   
“I didn’t do anything.” That was a lie, and all three of them knew it.   
“Our little landlubber here rained on cap’s parade and sneered at his so-called revenge.” The captain’s son was mocking him. Felix looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed, but the boy was looking at Chan. The quartermaster snorted and looked at Felix again.  
“Not surprising, you little rascal.”   
“He also told that you should make him a deck boy.” The boy continued.   
“Alright. More pals for Minho, I guess.”

A deck boy. So Felix would end up scrubbing floors? Well, better than lying dead in the bottom of the sea.   
“Let’s go then. Minho could need some help down in the brig.” Chan said and turned on his heel without wasting another second. Felix glanced at the boy standing next to him one more time, and was a little taken aback to find the boy also staring at him. Perhaps it was the eyes, so intimidating, so intense. Or the way the boy measured Felix from head to toe with just one look. But Felix didn’t have time to say anything since Chan was already at the stairs, so he had to run after the quartermaster. He looked once more over his shoulder, but the captain’s son had already turned away. 

*** 

“So this is Minho.” Felix almost frowned, but stopped himself. It was the pirate from before, the one with the mean, pitch black eyes. Dressed in all black. Staring down at Felix with a mop in his hand.   
“Minho, this is Felix.” Minho nodded. Just nodded. And stared at Felix like he’d rather have him anywhere else besides there with him, mopping the floor of the brig and storage deck. Chan handed Felix another mop which he had got from a small closet at the back wall of the storage deck. Felix could hear laughter, and knew it was Jisung, Hyunjin and Jeongin for sure. They were still repairing the sail. 

“Mop the floors, the gun deck too. No need for the upper decks.” Felix nodded at Chan’s words. Mopping. Shouldn’t be that hard. The only problem was that Minho was scary as hell.   
“I need to go. Don’t uhhh… don’t throw each other over board.” Well what the hell was that supposed to mean? 

Chan fled the scene and ran the stairs back to the upper decks, and at the same time Minho turned his back to Felix and started mopping the floors.   
“I- uhh- I’ll just… start over here I guess.” Felix pointed somewhere at the direction of the cells. They were back at the brig, the place Felix had just got out of yesterday. Minho didn’t answer, didn’t even nod. It was going to be like that for the rest of the day, apparently. Not that Felix was complaining, he needed a minute to himself. 

Felix dunked his mop in the bucket of water before starting to scrub the floorboards. Minho was doing the same on the other side of the room, completely quiet. Like he was listening. Felix decided not to mind him. Instead, he went back to the captain’s cabin in his head. What in the ever-loving fuck had actually happened there? He literally had almost died because the captain had lost his temper. His cheek and back stung still. And now Felix had to live on the same boat with the one who wanted him dead in the first place. If the boy, whose name Felix still didn’t know, hadn’t interrupted them, Felix would have been lying dead on those sickly red carpets now. Felix really needed to thank the boy properly, even if he had saved his ass just to get away from Felix’s father in the future. 

If his father was even searching for him. Better yet – if his father was even alive anymore. Felix didn’t know. He didn’t know anything. His whole family could have burned with the town for all he knew. Felix hated this, he hated living without any knowledge whether his family was still alive, what had happened to the city, if sir Ainsley had survived the fire. Or if that roach, Mister Smith was alive. Or the girls. 

Felix missed them. All of them. He felt really alone, and despite being surrounded by people- pirates, and some of them even being friendly to him, he was scared. Really scared. And really, really alone. He had never been farther than thirty miles from his parents for his whole life, and if his parents had gone to visit somewhere, he had always had some familiar servants around. And now he was alone, on a pirate ship, in the middle of open sea, trying to survive. 

Oh, how his life had been turned upside down in just one night. Felix noticed a tear sliding down his cheek and quickly wiped it away. This was no place for any weaknesses. But he wanted to so desperately just cry, to break down on the floor and close the whole world away from him for just a second, but he couldn’t, so he weakly sniffled and continued mopping the floor. Felix knew Minho was listening. He could sense it from the way he moved, like a cat. Tip-toeing around while mopping the floors. 

The brief sadness quickly turned to anger and annoyance the more Felix thought about his current situation. He was in deep shit, that was for sure, and the most horrible thing was that his fate wasn’t in his own hands. Anyone of the pirates could just snap and stab him in the stomach at any given moment and Felix would be defenseless. Except if his knight in shining armor happened to interfere, but Felix doubted the captain’s son would be following his every movement. Maybe he’d need to get himself some sort of knife or dagger or even a sword. But they wouldn’t give him one since he had already told Jeongin he didn’t know how to use one. 

“Are you trying to scrub a hole to the floor or what?” Felix snapped out of his thoughts and turned his head to face Minho, who was looking at him with those mean eyes. Except that they weren’t that mean anymore, more of… disinterested. Felix looked back at the floor and realized he had been mopping the same part of the wooden boards for the past minutes. 

“I… yeah.” Felix took a step to the left and went back to mopping. Minho didn’t sound as terrifying as he had back when Felix had bumped to him on the stairs. He spoke quite softly, actually. In a hushed tone. The whole boy exuded something Felix couldn’t really pinpoint. Mystery? Definitely. But that thing Felix couldn’t really pinpoint was also that something that made Minho seem really scary.

Maybe it was something like Hyunjin and Jeongin? Since Hyunjin was apparently half siren, which Felix did not want to believe just yet and Jeongin was … something. He hadn’t told Felix yet. Or maybe they were just clowning on Felix or maybe this whole thing was just a dream. God Felix hoped this was just a dream. A really, really bad one. 

But it wasn’t and with one particularly strong swipe of the mop, Felix sent his bucket of water flying, spilling the dirty water everywhere, including Minho. A silence fell for three seconds.   
“Oh, oh no, my apologies, oh I’m so so sorry.” Felix looked at Minho eyes wide with terror. He was so sure the pirate was going to do something, that’s probably what Chan had meant with the ‘don’t throw each other overboard’-part. Minho turned, slowly, to face Felix. But he smiled. No, he didn’t smile, the corners of his mouth were slightly curled upwards, but his eyes told Felix something along the lines of ‘kid, you’re dead’. 

“It’s alright. It happens. I’ll go get a new bucket, you can use mine.” The tone was smooth, quiet. Deadly.   
“T-t-t-thank you I’m so sorry so so sorry-“ Felix babbled, he couldn’t stop himself. Minho grabbed the now empty bucket and completely disregarded Felix’s apologies. He left the room with graceful steps (at least graceful for someone who had just been thrown dirty water over), head held high, water dripping from his shirt.

Felix was absolutely certain Minho was going to return with one of those rusted katanas from the captain’s wall and finish what the captain had started. Just like that, Minho would pierce his heart and Felix’s knight in shining armor wouldn’t be there to rescue him and Felix’s lifeless body would get thrown down to the feisty waters for fish to feed on. Maybe some shark would devour him whole. Felix heard footsteps coming down the stairs, quickly spun around and dunked his mop in Minho’s bucket of water, busying himself. He mopped the floor with vigor as Minho set the now filled bucket down and grabbed his own mop again. 

Felix didn’t dare to look at the other boy. He felt the gaze in the back of his neck, his face felt like burning. His neck felt like burning. And then he smelt something. Like something was on fire. Fabric. Fabric was on fire. His shirt was on fi- 

Minho poured the whole bucket of cold sea water over Felix. Something behind Felix made a sizzling noise. Felix turned around, almost tripped on his mop and coughed the water out of his lungs nearly violently. Saltwater stung his eyes and tasted horrible on his tongue. He wiped some of the water from his face before he turned to Minho, bewildered. Instead of an angry face Felix got almost a smug grin, a smirk full of mischief and the black eyes, stripped of any and all emotion. The eyes made Felix’s blood stop circulating. 

“Sorry. Your shirt was on fire.” Minho said with that same soft voice of his before turning around and grabbing his mop.   
“Finish the deck. I need to go help Chan.” 

Felix couldn’t tear his eyes away from Minho’s back when the other boy got his bucket and rose up the stairs to the upper deck. It wasn’t because of what he had just said, Felix could finish the deck all on his own, cleaning wasn’t hard, and it surely wasn’t the fact that Minho had just poured cold water over him because apparently Felix’s shirt was on fire, oh no. 

It was the fact that Minho looked like Felix just hadn’t swept the bucket of dirty water all over him, oh no. He looked like not a single drop of water had grazed over his perfect, glowy, sunkissed skin. He was completely dry.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well, what have we here? I hope this chapter finally gave you some long-awaited answers (and hopefully created some new questions)! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	6. 6

“Ey! Felix, mate!” Jisung’s cheerful voice resonated through the storage deck. Felix wiped sweat from his forehead. Perhaps mopping the lowest deck by himself was not as fun and easy as he had first thought it would be, and he was still wet from earlier. Well, at least he wasn’t dripping water all over any more, but his clothes were uncomfortably damp. The stearin that had spilled over Felix in the captain’s cabin had also dried on the back of his shirt and Felix could feel the clumps against his skin. 

“Damn, the floor is like diamonds!” Hyunjin was carrying the huge sail on his shoulder, now fixed and nearly as good as new. Felix sighed and let his mop fall to the floor. His arms were aching, his back was sore and he was pretty sure he had at least three blisters where his thumb and palm met. 

“Did you take a trip to see the fish or is our lil’ lubber working for the first time ever with his own hands?” Humor was evident in Jisung’s voice. Felix snorted at him weakly.   
“No, I might have just pissed off Minho and he dumped a bucket of water over me.” Hyunjin looked surprised, so did Jisung. 

“And you’re still alive? Man, if I had done that, he would have sent me flying over the edge.” Felix cocked his eyebrow at Jisung. Surely, they were all just messing with him. He couldn’t actually be that bad. Could he?  
“Yeah, remember that time he rammed his fork through that one pirate’s hand because he was getting really touchy on him? That was rad.” Jeongin piped in the conversation, descending the stairs at the same time.   
“Yeah. Poor guy, died of infection. Deserved it, tho.” Jisung took Felix’s bucket and mop. Felix eyed at him brows knitted together. Were they really serious?

“And that wasn’t even so long ago. Minho is the newest one along with you. He’s been here like four months.” Felix looked at Hyunjin, who just nodded as an agreement to Jisung’s words.   
“He’s actually nice when you get to know to him. But yeah, don’t piss him off. There are a lot of stories on this boat and most of them are straight up bullshit, but Minho? Those stories are real. Well. Most of them. He hasn’t really killed anyone, when you really think it, I mean, last time it was the infection. And the one before that accidentally fell from the ship during the storm…” Felix didn’t know what to say. 

“Uuhh? Uhhuh.” He nodded, a little dumfounded; “you’re messing with me, right?”   
“No.”   
“Honestly.”   
“Nope. Minho is scary. But nice. And smart. And quite nice-looking, actually too.”   
“Jisung, do you ever learn how to keep your mouth shut?” Hyunjin snorted at his friend.   
“Oh please, have you seen him? He always looks like he came from the land three hours ago and hasn’t been sailing for three weeks straight.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes. Felix wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. 

He was tired, if he was being quite honest. He couldn’t wait for the day to be over so he could just sleep either next to Jeongin or on his own… bed. Well, not his own bed but at least some kind of sleeping place meant for him. If he would get one yet. Sleeping next to Jeongin was fine, too, Felix liked the presence of the younger boy. It made him feel somewhat calmer. 

“Wait, Felix, are you alright?” Jisung sounded a little more concerned.   
“Yeah, just a tad tired, wh-?” The boy grabbed Felix by his arm and spun him around.   
“Your shirt has burned from the nape? What the hell, did you walk on a lantern or something?”   
“What? No? I was just mopping the floors and Minho said my shirt was burning and dumped the bucket over me. I thought it was because I had accidentally spilled all the water from the other bucket over him while cleaning…” 

“What in the seven seas? Whose shirt just starts burning out of the blue?” Jeongin wondered.   
“See! I told you, Minho isn’t so bad! He was just helping you.” Jisung exclaimed, smiling.   
“Yeah, he may have been helping but why the hell would Felix’s shirt be on fire in the first place? And without him noticing it?” Hyunjin said. Some of his black hair had fallen over his eyes, making him look somewhat ethereal in the dim light of the lower deck. Jisung grabbed the burn part of the fabric and moved it around, seemingly searching for something. 

“There’s no burn mark. It doesn’t hurt?” He asked.   
“No, I didn’t even realize it, I just smelled the burning shirt…”   
“What kind of fire doesn’t leave a burn mark?” Jeongin, apparently the brightest of the bunch wondered again.   
“There’s stearin! Are you sure you didn’t walk into a lantern?” Felix nodded at Jisung, and prayed he would believe him.   
“Okay, this is getting really suspicious and Jisung, you know it too. This isn’t the first time something like this,” Hyunjin nodded at Felix, “happens when Minho’s around.” 

Jisung let go of Felix shirt and took a step back. Felix, on the other hand, wanted to know more. What did Hyunjin mean by ‘not the first time something like this has happened’? Was there something odd about Minho? Apart from his broody aura and dark eyes.   
“I know.” Jisung sounded somehow… sad. Almost as if he didn’t want to believe what Hyunjin had said.   
“Well, whatever it is, Felix needs a new shirt.” Jeongin broke the little silence that fell after Jisung and opened one of the storage doors. From inside he fished a new shirt. It was lilac, leaning on the light side and looked brand new. Kind of matched the color of Jeongin’s eyes. 

“Ew.” Jisung pointed out. Hyunjin rolled his eyes (“Where’s the damn sail!” someone yelled from above).  
“Oh that one’s for me.” Hyunjin straightened his back and left the storage deck, his bare feet tapping against the boards of the stairs. Jeongin handed Felix the shirt.   
“Change in there”, he nodded in the way of that same little room; “Let’s go grab something to eat after that, you need a break and I’m hungry. And you missed lunch because of the cap.” Felix was quite sure Jeongin was an angel sent from the heavens above and Felix’s stomach grumbled in agreement. 

Felix closed the door behind him, Jisung said something to Jeongin that Felix couldn’t make out through the heavy wooden door. He quickly took his shirt off and was surprised to see that the whole back of the neck from his shirt had burned off. It was just gone, and the fabric was black and brown from the edges and smelled bad. Felix let the shirt drop down to the floor and changed to the lilac one. Most of the pirates preferred colors like white or black or red, Felix had noticed, so he’d be quite a clown among them now. But if he was being honest, he liked the color. And he was already the odd one, so why not go out all the way? 

The shirt was a basic poet styled shirt, made of cotton. It felt soft. Felix tied the strings on his upper chest to a little bow. Thank god the shirt wasn’t ruffled as the other one, even though he was going to miss it. After all, it was one of the rare things he still had from home… 

Felix stuffed the front of his shirt into his pants, grabbed the old shirt and exited the little storage room. Jeongin and Jisung turned their heads towards Felix, stopping their little conversation of which topic Felix had absolutely no idea of. Jisung whistled.   
“Last time I saw anyone pull off that color I was visiting Singapore.” Felix cocked his eyebrow as he really didn’t understand the reference;   
“Thanks? I guess?” Jeongin smiled at him before grabbing him by his arm, linking them together. He radiated warmth. 

“Let’s go! Seungmin is in the kitchens. And I have some ointment for those blisters on your fingers.” Felix looked down to his hands and, indeed, there was three little white dots between his thumb and index finger.   
“How did you-?”   
“You’re not the only new guy who has had to mop all the decks on a cleaning day.” 

Jeongin dragged Felix up the stairs to gun deck and then to main deck, Jisung followed them short. The sun was still beaming, not a cloud in sight, yet it had moved from east to west. The crew had got all the cleaning done while Felix was mopping the storage deck, and now most of them were resting in the shadow, some were putting the sail back in its place. Felix gazed upwards and saw none other than Hyunjin hanging from the beam, upside down. He was holding on to the sail and tried to tie it to the mast, or that’s what it looked like to Felix, at least. Honestly, Hyunjin was so far up he couldn’t really see (and for a split second Felix got scared Hyunjin would fall but then he realized the boy was somewhat close to perfection, he probably wasn’t even able to not succeed in anything he tried). 

The air in the kitchen was a lot cooler compared to the scorch outside. Jeongin took the now ruined shirt from Felix and examined it for a second as Felix sat down on one of the tables. Jisung sat in front of him.   
“This is so weird…” he mumbled, more to himself than to Felix.  
“Do you want to keep it or…?” Jeongin looked at Felix with those lavender eyes of his. Somehow they looked even more intense in the soft lantern light. 

Did Felix want to keep it? He still had his breeches, socks and shoes to remind him of his past life (past life was a little too dramatic, more like the life that he had still had three days ago), and the shirt wasn’t that suitable for such working conditions he’d eventually have to face in the coming days. And it had those goddamn ruffles.   
“Nah.” Felix shook his head. Jeongin nodded and scuttled to the kitchen side of the large room, folding the shirt a little and throwing it in the lit oven, on which a huge pot was happily sizzling. Fire caught on the fabric quickly, engulfing what once had been Felix’s. 

Seungmin came from one of the smaller storage rooms in the back of the kitchen.  
“Oh hey! I didn’t see you during lunch.” The boy shot a small smile at them.   
“Felix was busy annoying the captain.” Jisung said with a hint of amusement in his tone. Felix frowned at him. Seungmin gazed at them a little surprised as he grabbed a plate and some bread and cheese from different shelves. 

“And you’re still alive?”   
“Barely” Felix mumbled. He still hadn’t told anyone what had happened, and he really didn’t have any plans on doing that. Jeongin sat down next to him, Seungmin placed the plate in front of Felix and sat next to Jisung and wiped some sweat off his face. Jeongin stole a small piece of bread from Felix’s plate and sat down next to Felix. 

“So, what happened?” Jisung propped his chin against his palms, elbows on the table. He had taken the red bandana off and tied it around his wrist and pushed the black, a tad too long hair back, away from his face. Seungmin had an apron on top of his light blue shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. Felix took a bite of the bread.   
“Well… your captain sure is scary.” Jeongin snorted at his words, Seungmin nodded in agreement. 

“He uhh… wanted to know my name and I had to give it to him and… then he proceeded to tell me how much he hates my father. And then I pissed him off.”   
“Wait, so your dad really is the governor of Nassau? The one that sunk cap’s brother?” Jisung asked, eyes full of wonder.   
“Yes.”   
“Jisung, did you listen to what captain said at all when they brought Felix here? Or even when they gave the orders?” Seungmin rolled his eyes.   
“Hey! C’mon I wasn’t the only one doubting it! And no wonder the cap hates you, I’m surprised you’re not at the bottom of the sea by now.”   
“Yeah I’m quite surprised at that, too.” 

The door behind Felix’s back opened and closed.  
“Here you are!” Hyunjin’s voice chimed in. Seungmin looked elsewhere. They still hadn’t made up, apparently. Felix felt a little sorry for that. Hyunjin plopped down next to Jeongin.   
“How’s the sail?” Jisung asked.   
“Tied up and beautiful. Lisa almost fell down from the mast, but everything went better than expected!” 

“So do we have an actual heading now?” Jeongin looked at the half-siren.   
“Probably. At least I saw Chan and Changbin talking on the quarter deck and Chan was on the wheel.” Hyunjin also stole a piece of bread from Felix but Felix didn’t mind. And who the hell was Changbin?  
“Sangyeon said something about Curacao or Tortuga.” Jeongin mentioned, and Felix remembered the conversation as well.   
“Good, we’re running out of supplies. And the crew’s complaining of the lack of other meats than salted pork.” Seungmin said with a soft voice.   
“Why would anyone complain about your cooking? It’s always perfect.” Hyunjin glanced at Seungmin, and Seungmin looked away, a hint of red tinting his cheeks. Jeongin and Jisung rolled their eyes simultaneously. This wasn’t anything new, wasn’t it? Felix stuffed more bread and cheese in his mouth to stop his growling stomach. 

“Anyways, Felix, you were telling me about your life in Nassau before dear Chan took you away from us so I want to know more! Did you have many ships in Nassau or…?” Jisung turned the attention from the little oblivious lovebirds to Felix.   
“You could say that? It’s a kind of stopping-by-city for the big ships that are going to Mexico or Port Royal. Cargo, mainly.”   
“Ships from the Royal navy?”  
“Those too, yeah. And a couple of Nassau’s own, and my dad’s ship…”   
“That’s so cool! I’ve always wanted to see what those navy ships look like since the only time I’ve seen them I’ve sunk them.” Felix snorted at Jisung. 

“Did you have many friends in Nassau?” Seungmin butted in.   
“Not that many, actually. Most of them are studying in London or Paris right now so they aren’t in Nassau…”   
“Studying in London or Paris… Wow… Were you going to study there, too?” Jeongin continued the questionnaire. Funny how Jeongin said it in past tense, like Felix would spend the rest of his life on the ship (maybe he would).  
“Probably. Or I would have gone to study in Port Royal or I would just have studied how to be a governor in Nassau. I don’t really know, honestly.” 

And Felix really didn’t. His father had planned out everything, Felix had never really had a say in that. Would he have wanted to go study in London or Paris or somewhere else? Not really. Would he have wanted to stay in Nassau or Port Royal for the rest of his life, marrying the only girl of his age he had once called one of his best friends, only for the marriage to turn awkward and live a boring, unhappy life in a small island? Not really. 

“That sounds so boring…” Felix snorted at Jisung’s words. Felix didn’t know really anything about him, but everything that wasn’t about the sea seemed to be boring to Jisung.   
“Well, now you have better friends. You have us!” Hyunjin beamed with his a-thousand-suns-smile (and Felix’s head began spinning a little again and Seungmin shot a look at Hyunjin), Felix smiled back, but the smile didn’t entirely reach to his eyes. Yeah, he had new friends now. Pirates. Pirate friends. Felix’s grandfather would have turned in his grave if he were to hear this. Felix felt it in his gut that Jeongin saw that his smile wasn’t entirely genuine. 

“Well, what about you? I don’t know anything about you guys. How did you end up here?” It was Felix’s turn to ask questions. If these people were meant to be his friends, he wanted to know a little more about them. “I know how Hyunjin ended up here but how about you, Jeongin, Jisung and Seungmin.”   
“I boarded a cargo ship in London with my mother, then we boarded this ship in Tortuga many years ago.” Seungmin answered, shortly. Felix nodded, he remembered what Jeongin had told him about Seungmin’s mother. But he just had to ask;  
“You’re from London?”   
“I only lived there for like four years, I remember next to nothing of that place.” Oh. Felix nodded again, Seungmin didn’t seem like the kind of guy to spill everything to a stranger so Felix didn’t dare to fish for more information. 

“Almost the same, but my mother was a prostitute and sold me to a sailor when I was seven, then I escaped from that sailor and found Changbin in Tortuga. And then, me being a seven-year-old meeting another of my age, lost and confused, hung on to Changbin so that he took me with him to see his father and his father let me join the crew.” Changbin? Changbin was the name of the captain’s son! That had to be it! Felix’s eyes widened a little, Jisung spoke like the whole thing was really nothing. Like this was something totally normal. 

“That’s not anything the same as Seungmin’s, though”   
“Okay true, but I’ve also spent most of my life here and don’t remember much of that puny town I was born.” Jisung had this permanent little smile on his face, and if the smile wasn’t on his lips, it showed in his eyes as little twinkles. Felix didn’t quite understand.   
“Uhhuh.” He nodded, nevertheless. 

“And I was stolen from my mother when I was ten years old, nearly carried all the way from the Indian ocean to London for a freak show but along the way Captain Seo decided to attack the ship and I begged them to take me with them.” Felix’s jaw dropped open (thank god he had finished his bread and cheese).   
“Indian ocean?” That was on the other side of the world.   
“Yeah.” Jeongin smiled, his lilac eyes turning to little crescents.   
“Freak show?” Felix had heard of those, never seen one.   
“Yeah. Mermaids are hot stuff there.”   
“Mermaids?!” And Felix remembered how Hyunjin had told Felix about his little half-mermaid friend, and how he had noticed Jeongin’s purple eyes for the first time and remembered all the stories about mermaids and he was not going to believe that. Absolutely not. 

And then he also remembered how Seungmin had partially yelled at him about some stories being real and legends always having a starting point from somewhere, and how Hyunjin was allegedly a half siren and that wasn’t such an odd idea now that Felix had actually spent time with him and Jeongin did have those lavender eyes and a weird aura and hoo boy that was getting a lot to think about.   
“Right.” Felix croaked, closed his mouth. Seungmin had a little smirk playing on his lips. Jisung was normal, right? Just a pirate. Please, Felix begged in his mind for him to be normal. And Seungmin was, too? 

“Do you have like… any special jobs on this ship? Or… I don’t know, I really don’t know anything about sailing. Or ships. Or pirate ships.” Felix bit his lip, he wanted to know more about the ship and the crew, how it worked and who to avoid. And he certainly did not want to know anything more about some supernatural beings on this ship right now.   
“Seungmin’s the cook, rest of us are just normies.” Hyunjin chimed and Felix nodded, he had known that already. 

“Everyone helps in everything, basically but if you’re particularly good in reading the charts or navigating from the stars or cooking or shit like that you get to do more of that than just scrubbing the floors and assisting on the sails and stuff like basic pirates do. Helping on the cargo and that shit. No worries, we’ll help you with that and teach you everything you have to know.” Jisung explained and fiddled with the bandana around his wrist at the same time; 

“I, for example, am one of the charters, Seungmin’s a cook. If you’re trustworthy and good at everything and everyone likes you including the captain and you’re smart, you’ll get higher positions like the boatswain like Sangyeon. Boatswains, or bosuns, look over the crew and check that the sails are in perfect condition when quartermaster has no time. That’s Chan, and he’s the best goddamn quartermaster we have ever had.” The other three nodded in unison.

“And then we have some pirates that are in charge of watching over the treasures, one is keeping record of all of the cargo and tells when we need more supplies, someone’s great at sewing and they patch up the crew’s clothes… There’s a lot of shit to do on this ship.” 

Felix nodded, it would take a lot of time for him to learn all of this (if he were to live that long, ringed at the back of his mind).   
“I suppose bosun and quartermaster steer the ship most of the time?”   
“Oh you’re not as dumb as you look!” Jisung laughed, Felix sneered at him; “Kidding! Yeah, them, or the cap, or Changbin, or me, since I sometimes take Sangyeon’s place. But mostly it’s Chan.” There it was, the stormy eyes returned to Felix’s mind again. It was like he had just seen them, still so clear and deep. Felix nodded, and suddenly someone opened the door to the deck behind Felix’s back. 

“Hey, lil rascals!” Felix’s head whipped around, and he was met with the sight of Raul, drenched in sweat. He smelled a… little and Felix had to do everything in his will to not scrunch his nose.  
“Whaddaya up to? Cap wan’s us to the deck in five.”   
“Shouldn’t we start making dinner soon?” Seungmin rose from his seat, straightened his apron.   
“Nah, Chan said i’s important. Prolly won’t take too long, the crew can wait a lil.” The other cook nodded. 

Hyunjin and Jeongin followed along and stood up, Seungmin took the now empty plate from Felix and dropped it in a bucket full of other dirty plates. Felix stood up, too, his legs feeling like they were about to give out. He’d have to go to the deck. Where everyone else, every pirate on this ship, would also be. Including the captain. What if the captain would order the other pirates to throw him overboard or what if he would challenge him for a sword fight? Did pirates even do that? Swordfights? Oh god what if he-

Jeongin took Felix by the arm, linked their hands together and looked at him right in the eyes, the purple of his irises bordering on mauve in the soft candle light of the kitchen.   
“You’re going to be fine.” Jeongin whispered, and Felix’s feet didn’t feel like giving out anymore. He nodded and let the little tingles of reassurance ease his thoughts as they followed Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jisung back to the sunlight. 

The scorching midday air had turned to a pleasant warmth of the afternoon. The wind was catching to the sails, moving the ship slowly towards the unknown, some gulls were screeching nearby and Felix assumed they couldn’t be that far from land. Felix took in a sharp breath as he was faced with multiple pairs of eyes, all staring at him. Jeongin squeezed Felix’s hand a little. There was mumbling all around them, but no one said a word to Felix (the reason for that could have been Hyunjin on Felix’s other side, staring at everyone with mean eyes who even looked like they were about to say something). Felix shot the taller boy a grateful, small smile. 

The mumbling came to a halt and Felix heard hollow footsteps somewhere coming from somewhere behind and above of him. He turned around, Jeongin still holding to his hand and realized that he was right in front of the quarter deck. He had a front-row view to the captain. And the captain could stare right at him if he wanted to. Fuck. Felix gulped and made himself as small as he could, hid a little behind Jeongin and Hyunjin. Quickly he gazed at his surroundings, all of the crew members were packed on to the main deck, some standing behind everyone on the forecastle, Chan was rising up the stairs to the quarter deck. 

And then the captain appeared right in front of the quarter deck, staring right at Felix, as he had feared. Felix froze on his place, gripped Jeongin’s hand and held his breath. He could see the hatred in the captain’s eyes. He could feel his breath ghosting down his neck, the cold rings against his skin, ready to slice him open with a sword like a sack of rice. 

“Gentlemen.” The captain began, with his deep yet loud voice. He finally moved his pressuring stare from Felix and Felix felt like he could breathe again.   
“Ladies. And everyone else.” The captain leaned against the railing, his wide frame covering the sun behind him. 

“It has come to my knowledge that this ship is running out of supplies. It has also come to my knowledge that my crew is feeling itchy and wants to release some stress.” Felix saw the slightly smaller figure approaching from behind the captain, leaving to stand a little further from the railing. The captain’s son. The stormy eyes. Felix noticed the dangling earring on his right ear as the sunlight reflected against the silver. How hadn’t he noticed it before? The stormy eyes- Changbin’s gaze lingered over the crew, not stopping on Felix. He crossed his arms over his chest, the tanned skin looked like it was glowing. 

But then the stormy eyes did stop on Felix, and Felix swallowed. Changbin raised his eyebrow, just a little, just ever so slightly and Felix felt the back of his neck heating up. Surely it was just the sun? It was so hot in here, oh wow. Felix tore his gaze away, settling it somewhere at the captain and nowhere. For some seconds he could still feel Changbin’s stare, and then it was gone. Felix let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“We have a heading.” The crew started to mumble, letting out some pleased whistles and grunts.   
“We’re stopping by Tortuga.” The grumbling turned into yells and clapping. Felix did not feel like celebrating. The captain lifted his hand and silenced the crew with one swift motion. Tortuga. They were going to stop at Tortuga. 

“We’ll be at Tortuga by tomorrow evening if we keep at full speed. Y’all know the drill by now. Those not in the boat by the next afternoon are left behind. Do whatever you please for law is not a problem in Tortuga. Drink, eat, spend your gold however you please. But for the love of my ol’ lady, don’t get killed for I need you all for our next heading.” The whole air suddenly felt like it was buzzing with anticipation. 

“Greybeard. Max. Yunho. You are in charge of filling our food stocks. Ask the cooks for a list.”   
“Aye, captain”.   
“Lisa. Take five strong ones with you, you are in charge of water and rum. Bring all you can get.” Lisa, the blonde lady to Felix’s right, nodded.   
“Jackson. We need gunpowder and cannonballs. Take Mark with you. Chan, if you have something else in mind you know how to give orders.” Chan, standing on the captain’s left side, nodded.

“Minho.” The captain called out and then turned his fiery eyes to Felix.   
“Make sure this one doesn’t get away or in trouble. If someone recognizes him, you know what to do.”   
“Wouldn’t it be easier to keep him here, captain?” Minho’s voice was so soft compared to the captains. Felix felt uneasy, Jeongin squeezed his hand once again. The captain remained quiet for a couple of seconds, measuring Felix with his eyes, up and down.   
“Nah. We’ll let him have a taste of Tortuga.” The crew around Felix snickered, someone in the far back snorted. Felix didn’t see Minho, he didn’t see really anyone except the captain’s fiery eyes, but he could feel the boy staring at him. 

“Get back to work.” The captain said and turned on his heel, his coat swinging after him. Felix felt like collapsing for a few seconds, but his hand in Jeongin’s grip kept him standing.   
“You heard the captain! Full sails, all hands on deck, we’re going to Tortuga, ladies!” Chan’s voice resonated through the air, causing immediate chaos as the crew headed towards the sails which were still tied to the masts. Felix glanced once more on the quarter deck and caught the captain’s son staring at him, again. Before he had time to do or say anything else, Jeongin pulled him along. 

“We are just going to watch what everyone’s doing since you would probably just mess everything up.” Felix nodded at Jeongin who finally let go of his hand. Hyunjin, Jisung and Seungmin had disappeared, Felix could see Hyunjin with his red bandana dangling on one of the beams, untying the sail from its knots.   
“Is Hyunjin always the one climbing up there?” Felix heard himself asking, but he wasn’t really paying that much attention, oh no, he had all the stories he had heard about Tortuga returning to his mind one after another.   
“Pretty much. He’s one of the lookouts usually, he doesn’t fear heights and he’s a quick climber.” Felix nodded, his hands were sweating, his heart was beating all too fast for his liking. Tortuga. They were going to Tortuga. 

“W-what’s it like in Tortuga?” He asked, but he didn’t really know if he wanted an answer. Jeongin glanced at Felix, took his hand to his own again and caressed the back of Felix’s hand with his thumb.  
“Exactly like you have heard in the stories.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)   
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	7. 7

After panicking for mere minutes straight and contemplating his almost certain death in Tortuga, Jeongin had finally dragged Felix by the arm to tie some knots and got some ointment on his blisters. Felix didn’t quite understand at first as to why Jeongin made him tie and untie some stupid rope that wasn’t even tied to the sails nor to the shrouds but then he realized that he was focusing on the ropes and knots instead of the news about Tortuga. Distraction, something Felix needed badly. 

When Felix had finally gathered his thoughts, Jeongin had taught him some simple but useful knots, those kind of knots he would need once he’d actually have to start doing some work. Which would probably be very soon, and Felix was quite scared of that, or more over, of messing things up. 

Despite all of the fear, the stress, the anxiety, all of it, there was still a hint of excitement in his mind, in the very back of it. After all, being on a ship, learning how to do everything and anything related to sailing and voyaging had been a life-long dream of his. Oh, the times he had watched the huge cargo ships make port on their little pier in Nassau or just sail by, and oh, how he had wanted to board one of those ships and sail away to the edge of the world. And now he was doing it. 

He was on a ship, sailing wherever, he really had no idea, and he had no idea how long he would be sailing. Except that the ship was not a navy ship nor a cargo ship, it was a pirate ship, and he’d probably die in the first battle they would encounter because he had absolutely zero intention to kill someone just to help pirates. 

Perhaps… perhaps he could surrender? Perhaps Felix could surrender and hope that the ships they’d be fighting against would sail to London or somewhere or the captains would be part of the royal navy and know Felix’s father, and thy could take Felix with them. Or maybe Felix could learn all about sailing on the pirate ship and then surrender and then join the crew and live a happy life on the seas and maybe in a few years return back home. Write to his father from somewhere far away. Except that his ‘plan’ had a few problems, as in, Felix had no idea if his father was even alive, and Captain Seo apparently was great when it came down to robbing and fighting and the other ships didn’t even stand a chance, so Felix couldn’t just ‘surrender’ himself as there probably wouldn’t be anyone to surrender to.   
Jeongin nudged Felix’s shoulder, nodded at the sight in front of him, waking him from his thoughts. They were standing right next to the rail of the ship. The sun was setting a little to the left to where Jeongin and Felix were, coloring the sky from the deepest shade of orange to yellow, pink and violet. The last beams of the sun made the sea sparkle with white and orange, reflecting the vast sky above it. Wind was tousling Felix’s hair a little, sweeping over his golden skin with soft touches. The sight was breathtaking. It was also everything Felix had ever dreamt of seeing. 

“I could get used to this.” He heard himself whisper. Jeongin chuckled a little.   
“You’ll never get used to it, trust me. It takes you breath away every time. It’s called freedom.” Felix tore his eyes away from the view to look at Jeongin. The orange from the sky made his skin look even more sunkissed and his dark brown hair almost red. But the lavender was still there in his eyes.   
“What do you mean by freedom?” Felix asked, curious.   
“You’ll know it once you recognize it. It’s that feeling when you’re away from your responsibilities and stress and all that and you just stare at the sea in front of you and there’s wind in your hair and you have no idea of what’s to come. That’s freedom. You’ll know it once you let go of the past.” 

Felix didn’t know what to say, if he was being honest. He nodded, looked at the setting sun once more as it sank past the waterline. The bright light made his eyes water a little, turning his vision white. His mom had always told him not to stare directly at the sun but hey, freedom, right? Now he could stare at it if he wanted to, even though it perhaps wasn’t a wise decision. 

“I think dinner’s ready.” Jeongin mumbled and linked their arms together again. They turned around and yes, the other members of the crew were slowly making their way towards the kitchens. Some of the members were sparing a few glances at Felix and Jeongin but the rest just… passed by, minding their own business. Maybe all of this wasn’t so bad. Maybe Felix was still alive and breathing and only one person had threatened to kill him during the last 24 hours and the crew didn’t seem that… violent? Yeah, maybe he was going to survive this night. And tomorrow. If someone didn’t cut his throat in vengeance when he would be asleep.

Jeongin pulled them down the small stairs to the kitchen, which was quite crowded. The room was filled with booming laughter, the wooden plates clanking against the tables and benches dragging against the floor. Someone blew hot air at the back of Felix’s neck and Felix turned his head around, startled. Hyunjin, smiling from ear to ear, and Jisung behind him. 

“Hey! Did Jeongin teach you how to tie the sails and shrouds and cannons down?”   
“Yeah, he did. Except for the cannons.” Hyunjin’s smile was astonishingly beautiful, Felix noticed once again, his pearly white teeth seemed to shine in the dim lantern light of the kitchen.   
“The knots are pretty much the same in those, easy and quick to tie but strong and easy to open with one motion.” Jisung explained. Hyunjin pushed Felix to move along the line. 

Following after Jeongin, Felix took a plate and placed some salted fish, beans, bread and cheese on it. He understood what the crew was complaining about, as salted fish was not one if his absolute favorite foods, but he was also hungry as hell so salted fish would do just fine. Felix took a mug and a fork on his other hand and turned around to see Jeongin already sitting on the table closest to them. Just enough space for the four of them, and a little more. 

Felix sat down next to Jeongin, Jisung and Hyunjin sat in front of them. There were some other crewmembers sitting on the other end of the table, chit-chatting about something Felix couldn’t make out in the clamor. All four of them dug right in to their plates, not speaking a word for a while. Felix noticed how Jisung’s cheeks turned even more puffier than usual when he ate, and it was quite endearing. 

Hyunjin just stared at his food, clearly not so fond of the beans. Jeongin poured some water for Felix from the jug that had already been waiting for them at the table. Felix guessed the water supply was limited and that’s why the crew couldn’t take as much drinking water as they wanted to. Smart, that way everyone would get their own portion and there would be enough water for everyone. 

Felix nearly got a heart attack and choked on his food simultaneously when someone dropped their plate down next to him. He looked up hurriedly and was met with the sight of wild curly hair and sad eyes. Chan sat down next to him, Felix leaned more towards Jeongin as if he would get any farther away from the quartermaster that way. 

“Evening! Is Sangyeon on the helm?” Chan nodded at Hyunjin’s question and shoved some beans in his mouth. Felix turned quickly back to his own food, careful not to touch Chan, not to brush his shoulder against the quartermaster’s shoulder. Chan’s sleeves were rolled up, and Felix could easily see the tattoo of a mermaid sitting on some rocks in the middle of a stormy sea. It was a little worn-out, but much less than the captain’s tattoos had been. 

The salted fish tasted… well, salty, the beans tasted pretty much like nothing. Felix assumed the cooks were running out of spices as well. The bread and cheese were good, though, and overall Felix had zero complaints as he had had to live with only water and bread for those horrible two, almost three days. He pitied actual criminals who had to live like that every day in a jail. Or maybe Felix just wasn’t used to normal food. Then again, the food was edible, and he was lucky he even had food, so he really had nothing to complain about. Felix took a swig from his mug just as Chan started speaking. 

“So, Felix, how’s your day been so far? Apart from the meeting with captain?” Chan had turned his gaze on Felix, the sad eyes looking genuinely curious.   
“Uhh.. it’-s been fine.” Felix, gulped, stammered, just a little. It wasn’t that long ago he had still wanted to deck the pirate straight in the face and if he was being completely honest, he still kind of wanted to. Then he remembered the huge bruise on Chan’s other arm and felt perhaps a little sorry for him. 

“Jeongin taught you the knots and stuff?” Felix nodded, Jeongin did, too. This Chan that was talking to him was quite a lot different from what Felix had encountered this morning with Jeongin. Maybe it was, as Jeongin had said, the act the quartermaster put up to show who was the boss on the ship.   
“Good, I think tomorrow me or someone else will introduce you to all the shrouds and things like that, things you need to know in order to work here.” Felix nodded again. 

“Has the crew been just fine?” There was a hint of worry in Chan’s voice; “No one’s threatened you or anything?” Felix shook his head;   
“Not apart from the mighty captain.” Chan snorted, but Felix couldn’t help but wonder why the quarter master even cared about his well-being, when he had been the one to drag him on the ship. But then again, he had his orders, and as Felix had seen with his own eyes, there was no chances of saying no to the captain. 

“Good, our crew is pretty down-to-earth but we have some hot-heads among us.” Chan shot a small smile at Felix. Felix did not want to encounter those hot-heads or step on their toes.   
“Is Minho one of them?” He asked, quietly. Careful not to reach the ears of the mentioned pirate. Chan looked at him, the small smile still playing on his lips. Felix could see a little scar on his lower lip, it had once been split.   
“Sometimes. Usually not, he’s just… quiet. Minds his own business. Why?”   
“Nothing just… Never mind.”

Felix turned back to his plate, a little embarrassed, he felt the looks the other three boys were giving him. Jisung asked Chan something about the sails and booms, Felix didn’t understand what all of the things meant. He wished he could understand. The conversation turned quickly to the upcoming trip to Tortuga as Hyunjin asked Chan if he knew were there any other ships at port. Felix shoved some bread and cheese in his mouth and listened attentively, trying to not pay any attention to the twists in his gut. 

“I think Kim’s at port, we saw him passing by yesterday. No idea of anyone else, let’s hope there aren’t any ships we got beef with.” Kim? As in Kim Kai? The captain of the infamous Scylla? But wasn’t he a privateer under the flag?   
“That’s cool. Ain’t this time of the year pretty quiet usually?” Hyunjin continued, he rested his chin against his palm.

“Yeah, it is, most of the shipments are going from Europe to East Indies right now, Caribbean is on the quieter side. But the rumor has it, a couple of ships were planned to leave London a few days ago and are making their way to Port Royal and then god knows where, but they’re carrying some pretty expensive suff. Gold, diamonds, spices…” Chan had this little lilt of excitement in his voice, barely covered by seriousness. 

“Are we perhaps in for a heist?” Jeongin asked, excitement nothing but masked. Chan smiled at the youngest one;  
“Perhaps. We’ll see what the mighty Seo thinks of it.” Felix’s stomach twisted and turned at those words. He sure did know what a heist meant. It meant he would have to fight. And to not get killed, and everyone on the other ship would see him as a pirate. A thief of the high seas. 

“We’ll truly see what the mighty Seo thinks of it.” Felix’s head snapped at the direction of the voice at the speed of lightning. In front of him stood the Stormy eyes, who was just about to put his plate on the table. Felix nearly choked on the piece of salted fish he was still chewing on.   
“Changbin!” Jisung shrieked, clearly happy about their new companion.   
“What a surprise! I though you had grown roots from your ass in the captain’s quarters. Haven’t seen you in a while!” Hyunjin teased, clearly just as happy as Jisung. Felix felt the tips of his ears turn pink as Changbin sat down next to Jisung, almost right in front of Felix. 

Felix proceeded to stare at his plate with the least intention of eating the last bits of beans he still had.   
“Yeah, gotta show my face here sometimes so y’all don’t forget how handsome I look.” Jisung snorted at Changbin’s words, so did Felix, almost. He didn’t dare to lift his gaze from the table, but he could feel Changbin’s eyes on him. 

“What’s the plan for tomorrow? You coming with us?” Jisung asked, Changbin shrugged.   
“Don’t know yet, we’ll have to see who’s on the port. Captain wants to keep me close in case there’s someone who could get an idea to kill me for a payback. If there isn’t any, well, then I’m free to go with you. And get bat-shit drunk. That’s my plan. Is the landlubber coming along?” 

Felix finally averted his eyes from his plate as he felt Jeongin latching on to his right arm.   
“Of course he is! And he has a name, he’s Felix and he’s one of us now. Right, Felix?” Felix swallowed, hard;   
“R-right.” Changbin arched his eyebrow at the two of them. There was no way he hadn’t heard Felix tell his name to the captain back in his quarters, yet still he decided to look like this was the first time he heard it. 

Changbin just stared at him for a brief moment, Felix didn’t dare to say anything. And what would he even had said? It wasn’t like the stormy eyes were once again taking all of his attention, he couldn’t form any coherent sentences. They looked even darker in the dim light of the kitchens, still as deep as the abyss. Felix could see the small flame of the lantern behind his back flickering in Changbin’s eyes. He didn’t understand how anyone could have eyes as deep and compelling as Changbin’s. 

“So, Felix, since you’re an aristocrat, I suppose you have learned how to use swords?” Felix looked hurriedly at Chan, tearing his eyes away from Changbin. He could feel his shoulders releasing the tension they had been holding all of the time he had looked at the captain’s son.   
“I- uhh s-something yes, not much.” A bold lie. Not so little and not so white. Felix didn’t want to know what would happen if the truth were to come out at some point. And he had already told Jeongin he couldn’t really use them.

“But you can protect yourself, right? Just in case someone wants to cut your head off.”   
“I… suppose, yes.” Felix nodded.   
“Good, then we don’t have to teach you that.” Chan looked a little relieved. Maybe he wasn’t so keen on swordfighting either. 

“What about charts? Or navigating from the stars?”   
“He can read charts! He told us that!” Jeongin chirped in, again. He sounded quite proud of him being one of those Felix had trusted this information to. A hint of blush dusted over Felix’s cheeks.  
“Y-yeah, I can read charts. And navigate from the stars. At least in theory.” 

“That’s great!” Chan smiled at him and clapped his hands together once.   
“So not completely useless…” Felix heard Changbin mutter under his breath, his face flushed to a slightly deeper shade of red. He didn’t notice how Jisung nudged his elbow against Changbin’s ribs.   
“Oh! So does this mean me and Felix will get night shifts together?” Jisung chimed, an anticipating smile from ear to ear.   
“Maybe. Depends if you can actually navigate and not just mess around.” Chan tried to sound serious, but he had a little smile playing on his lips. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.

“You can also read.” It was more of a statement than a question.   
“Yes.”   
“And write.”   
“Yes.”   
“And you speak…?”   
“French. Latin. Some Spanish.” Felix thanked sir Ainsley in his mind.   
“Good heavens! You’ll be very useful.”   
“Yeah, not many of us can read and write and speak languages.” Hyunjin butted in; “I can’t either. Jeongin can, and Changbin and Chan obviously.” 

Felix looked at Jisung with a slightly raised eyebrow.   
“Nah, never had time to learn that nonsense.” Felix gave him a little crooked smile. He hadn’t even thought of it, of course most of the other pirates couldn’t read. Most people even in Nassau couldn’t read, apart from the higher class. Perhaps Felix would indeed be useful, and the pirates wouldn’t kill him. 

“Can you cook?” The blush on Felix’s nose deepened just a smidgen.   
“N-not really…”  
“Ah, of course he can’t! Are you dumb or something?” Jisung nudged this time Hyunjin in the ribs, to which the pretty boy answered with a light slap on Jisung’s arm.   
“He’s a mighty aristocrat, higher than anyone, I bet the king of England has afternoon tea with him. He ain’t got no time to cook!” Chan snorted at Jisung’s statement, Felix rolled his eyes, but a small smile crept on his lips. Jisung’s teasing felt somehow… safe. Like he was being accepted in to the group, into the crew. 

Felix didn’t notice the way Changbin’s eyes lingered for a brief moment on the little curls of the corners of Felix’s lips. But he did notice him turning his eyes away, as Seungmin sat next to him. The red-haired boy greeted everyone, and the conversation kept on flowing, as Hyunjin commented on how great the food was. Felix noticed how Seungmin’s ears tinted a little reddish, and how no one else seemed not to notice anything. Maybe they were used to it, maybe Hyunjin was always very affectionate when it came down to Seungmin. Felix was glad to see them getting along a little better after what had happened last night. 

The rest of the boys left Felix alone as Jisung took the attention, telling a story he had heard from one of the crewsmen and the rumors surrounding Tortuga right now. How the Navy was planning on attacking the pirate port. Felix noticed how Changbin glanced at Chan, a hint of concern in the arch of his eyebrow. Felix couldn’t see the look on the quarter master’s face, but he guessed it reflected the look on Changbin’s face. 

Felix studied the boy to his right with his eyes. Hyunjin laughed at everything even the slightest bit funny Jisung said, his nose scrunched up a little, his eyes crinkled and turned to little crescents. He also seemed to have a habit of clapping his hands together, while something was more hilarious than usual. He also had a habit of running his fingers through his hair, making it fall a little over his eyes, and then brushing it away again, repeating the motions every few minutes. 

Hyunjin wasn’t the only one laughing at everything, since Jeongin giggled along with him, sounding like little bells. Felix noticed the little half moon-shaped scar on Jeongin’s thumb, almost like a nail, but not quite. He wondered for a moment where Jeongin had got it from. What was the story behind it? Felix loved to hear stories about scars, battle scars or not. 

Jisung, all-around-entertainer, Felix came to a conclusion. The jester, one could see how he liked the attention on himself. How he basked in it, like a cat in the sunlight. Jisung’s smile was contagious, and he was great at storytelling. He would have made a great writer, if he were to live on land along with most of the society. One by one, the crew around them were leaving the kitchens, some probably heading off to sleep, some doing to god knows what, but the seven of them stayed seated on the table. 

And then there was Changbin. His aura was much darker compared to Jisung’s who was basically glowing next to him (yet still Hyunjin was shining even more, the “siren charms”, Felix assumed). He didn’t say anything, just listened to Jisung talking and either stared at the table in front of him, or Jisung. He was fiddling his cup of water, toying with the handle mindlessly. He had silvery rings around his fingers, one of them had small skull forged on it. Inside the skull’s eyes Felix could see tiny red rubies, reflecting the candlelight. He had gold pendants, along with a small medallion around his neck, one of them had something written in it, but Felix couldn’t make out what it said. Changbin seemed powerful. Felix could see it in his posture, in his way of sitting, so relaxed, yet somehow keeping an eye on his surroundings at all times. 

Felix turned his eyes quickly away when Changbin glanced at him. Despite the laid-back yet firm facade, Changbin was the least friendly one in the bunch based on Felix’s experience. At least he hadn’t said anything even remotely nice to Felix yet. Maybe he was shy. Or shared his father’s views on him. Felix hoped he didn’t, he assumed he’d be spending more time with Changbin than the captain since Changbin seemed to be close friends with… well, all of his new friends. 

Seungmin was leaning his chin against his palm, arm propped on the table, commenting on Jisung’s story. Some of his little remarks had a biting tone to them, but Felix realized soon enough that he was joking. His red hair fell a little over his eyes. He also had a golden earring dangling from his ear, sparkling in the candlelight. He still had his apron on, it had clearly once been white, but now it was more of a grey-toned, worn-out. 

Someone called Chan from the door, the quartermaster stood up and left them with a little wave of his hand, not interrupting Jisung’s talking. He was currently telling how one of their crewsmen, someone called “Knucklehead” had been in a bar fight last time they were port in Tortuga and lost his pinky finger and pinky toe. His story-telling was accompanied with vivid hand movements and excessive facial expressions. Felix guessed most of the people sitting around the table had already heard the story, but he could definitely understand why they were more or less attentively listening to it. Jisung really had a talent in capturing the moments through his words. 

Bar-fighting sounded scary, and Felix prayed he wouldn’t have to face that while they were in Tortuga. Then again, what was he even expecting? All the tales from Tortuga told how the town was lawless and there was absolutely no order in there. It was quite likely they’d end up in some kind of clash… Except if he had been lied to this whole time, and Tortuga was really a lot nicer than he was waiting for (but Felix doubted it). Felix felt Jeongin leaning against his arm, his fluffy hair brushing against his shoulder and tickling his neck. 

Felix found himself yawning, he wondered what the time was. It was probably late, as they were the only ones left in the kitchens. Hyunjin poked Jisung in the arm, nodding at Jeongin’s way. Felix could tell from the even, slow breaths that the boy had fallen asleep against his shoulder. Jisung lowered his voice.

“Am I really that boring?”   
“Yeah.” Changbin ja Seungmin answered to him in unison. Hyunjin snorted as Jisung faked a devastated look on his face.   
“I think we should go, it’s getting late.” 

Seungmin was the first one to stand up, he collected the plates and mugs to a neat pile and carried them back to the kitchen. He dropped them to a barrel full of other dirty plates and mugs and cutlery. The rest followed along, but Felix didn’t dare to move. He didn’t want to wake the sleeping boy! 

Hyunjin to the rescue. He swiftly slid his arm underneath Jeongin’s legs, and with the other he supported the boy from the back. Hyunjin lifted the sleeping boy with ease, Jeongin stirring in his hold a little. If Felix was being honest, he was a little surprised. Hyunjin certainly didn’t look that strong, but somehow he had just lifted Jeongin like he was light as a feather. Felix rose from his seat and shot Seungmin a little smile along with a quiet “thank you” for taking his plate away. Jisung was holding the door to Hyunjin and Jeongin. Only now Felix noticed that Hyunjin had to duck a little to not hit his head on the door frame.   
“To king’s tea buddy.” Jisung grinned as he held the door open for Felix. 

The air outside was a lot colder than it had been when they first went inside for dinner. The sun was completely gone, nothing but darkness surrounding the ship. The only thing that gave away that they were actually in the middle of a sea was the rippling of little waves against the hull and the small, calming sway of the ship. The stars were out, the moon behind Felix’s back reflected against the water. It was peaceful. 

Seungmin closed the door behind him and locked it.   
“To keep the hungry ones out.” He mumbled to Felix as he gave him a questioning look. Hyunjin was already halfway to the door of the forecastle. Felix stopped for a moment to just admire the peace and serenity surrounding him. He breathed it in. Freedom, as Jeongin had said to him earlier. He wasn’t feeling it in his exact definition, he hadn’t let go of his past and he was still wary of his surroundings, a bit anxious, but still… He could almost taste the freedom. 

Felix turned his head to the right, only to find Changbin standing a few feet away and staring at him with an unreadable expression. Staring at him. With those stormy eyes once again, that looked almost black in the dark. Why was he staring at him? Did Felix have something on his face? Did he say something wrong back in the kitchens? Should he thank Changbin again, properly this time?   
“I- umm…”   
“Felix!” Jisung’s voice resonated through the air, he was already waiting at the door of the forecastle.   
“Night.” Changbin simply said before turning back on his tracks, leaving for his own quarters.   
“N-night.” Felix stuttered after him and quickly turned to Jisung. 

He skipped over the deck to the boy who was holding the door for him, again. Felix thanked him with a smile. The crew’s quarters were mostly full, but Felix could see some empty mattresses and hammocks. Hyunjin was tugging Jeongin in.   
“Am I going to sleep next to Jeongin again?” Felix asked from Jisung and Seungmin.   
“If you don’t mind. We’ll get you your own mattress tomorrow.” Jisung whispered back and hopped on his own bunk bed near Jeongin’s. Seungmin climbed on the bunk bed above Jisung’s. 

Felix zig-zagged in the dim lantern light through mattresses lying across the floor, careful not to wake anyone up. He wondered where the rest of the crew was, as he hadn’t seen anyone except the one steering the wheel outside. Maybe he’d ask his new friends about it tomorrow. If he had time, since it seemed that they had a pretty busy day ahead of them. 

Felix took his shoes off and climbed on the bed, cocooning himself next to Jeongin. The boy was snoring lightly and didn’t even budge when Felix stole half of the blanket for himself. For a moment he just stared at the ceiling, listened to Hyunjin a meter or two away from them climbing on his hammock   
“Night”, he heard the boy whispering from the darkness.   
“Good night.” Felix whispered back. 

But the sleep wasn’t so keen on taking over tonight. Felix kept on staring at the ceiling, his thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. Today had been an… interesting day, to say the least. An exhausting day, Felix could feel it in his limbs. His arms were still aching from all of the scrubbing he had done, and he was glad he wouldn’t have to do it again tomorrow. Apparently the cleaning was a weekly thing, to keep everything in check and in the best possible condition. His cheek was still lightly stinging, the skin was throbbing, but just a little. There would definitely be a bruise tomorrow, accompanying the bruises on his back and wrist. 

Today he had been terrified to his very core, he had been threatened, he had been saved, he had learned so much new things he could barely remember all of them. He had learned new things about his new friends. He had met so many new people today, so many pirates. He had met the captain. He had met Minho, Sangyeon and Jisung. He had met Raul. And he had met Changbin. The stormy eyes. 

Minho was terrifying. Felix would rather not work with him anymore, but he was quite sure he’d have to. Jisung was very nice, welcoming, and somehow his presence made Felix feel safe, but in a different way from Hyunjin’s. And then there was Changbin, the one Felix couldn’t figure out at all. Sure, they hadn’t talked apart from like two sentences, but his aura was quite frightening. Then again, he had saved Felix. And he had wished him a good night back in the deck. Or not necessarily a good night, just a ‘night’, but that was something, right? He didn’t completely hate Felix. Felix would have to thank him properly for saving his life, that thing back on the quarter deck sure wasn’t enough. At least not to Felix.

Despite all of the thoughts crisscrossing his mind, laced with confusion and longing for his family, on top of it all was something positive. Felix couldn’t really make out what it was. Was it the freedom? Or was it expectation, as Felix was somehow intrigued about what was to come. Anticipation. Something that had been there since he had realized he wasn’t going to die right at this instant. 

After all, he had always been an adventurer. Always seeking for thrills, different ways to piss his father off by traveling around that puny island called Nassau. And he had always had that certain craving for the sea, he had always wanted to feel the sea breeze in his hair, hear the gulls in the faraway islands and the experience the feeling of being in the middle of a vast, open sea with nothing but a compass in his hand. And now he was getting it. He was getting what he had always wanted. 

But Felix didn’t know, and he still couldn’t find an answer to his questions and emotions, as the even swaying of the ship and Jeongin’s snores finally lulled him to the dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i hope y'all have had fun during these few weeks of oceanbound's existence, i'm very surprised and thankful for the amount of love this has already received! i'd like to inform all of you that during the upcoming weeks there might be little delays, and in worst cases, i might have to skip my weekly updates because christmas is approaching and i have a ton of work with uni and an actual job to take care of for the next few weeks. i will still try to update this fic as regularly as possible, but if one or two weeks get skipped, fear not, i have not abandoned this work! thank you so much to all of you for reading this, i love u all! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	8. 8

Felix woke up to Jeongin softly tapping his shoulder, only this time Felix didn’t get scared and fall down the bed. Felix whined and stretched. And then the pain shot in. 

Felix winced as all of his limbs protested any kind of movement. His shoulders were jelly, his arms felt like falling off. The blisters were throbbing. His cheek stung. His back was sore, his legs felt like Felix had at least seven bricks tied to them.   
“Good morning!” Jeongin’s cheerful smile did not match how Felix was feeling.   
“Morning” the orange-haired boy grunted.

Somehow Felix managed to drag himself to a sitting position. His hair was sticking everywhere and he felt drowsy despite the good amount of sleep he had got. Most of the crew was already awake and gone, some of them were still sleeping.   
“Mo-ooorning!” Jisung’s sing-song sounded just as cheerful as Jeongin’s. Hyunjin was still sleeping in the hammock close to Jeongin’s bed. 

Jisung woke him up by crawling on top of him. Felix snorted at the two before he grabbed his shoes and put them on with great hardship. Hyunjin complained about not wanting to wake up yet, so Jisung had to literally pull him up from his hands.   
“Why are you always the first one awake?”  
“Because the world doesn’t wait!”   
“It can wait for me.”  
“It won’t, little siren boy.”   
“Hmph.” 

“Oh damn, that’s a stingy looking bruise.” Jeongin had also risen. He brushed Felix’s cheek with delicate fingertips.   
“Does it hurt?”   
“A little.” A lot. Especially where the captain’s rings had collided. It wasn’t like this was the first time his cheek was bruised, oh no, Mister Lee just didn’t use rings that much. 

Jeongin pouted and sorted a couple of Felix’s hair strands back to their own place. He really was a touchy-feely one, wasn’t he? Felix ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to tame his locks a little, but he was quite sure his hair was still sticking in every possible direction and his little attempts at taming it were futile. 

Jeongin pulled Felix up along with him. Hyunjin had managed to get his sash on, along with a belt that had a little pouch to its side. For a moment Felix wondered why Hyunjin was wearing that, and then he remembered that they were supposed to go to the infamous pirate town today. To “relax and spend some gold”. A sudden wave of anxiety washed over Felix. 

Jeongin noticed it immediately and took Felix’s hand in his own. And as fast as the sensations had come, they disappeared.   
“What-?” Sure, this wasn’t the first time this happened, but now it was evident. Felix looked Jeongin in the eyes, the lavender irises seemed to have a different shift to them. There was something in the younger boy.   
“What?” Jeongin asked, smile tugging the corners of his lips. Felix remained silent for a brief second;  
“Nothing.” 

“I think I’ll be by your side the whole day.” Jeongin mumbled, barely audible. Felix nodded. Hell, if the boy had this kind of impact to whatever negative feelings Felix was having, he’d love to have him around. Especially in Tortuga, which already scared him to his very core. Maybe there was that tiny possibility that the boy was actually half a mermaid. Didn’t they have some kind of healing powers in the fairy tales anyway? 

They joined the rest of the crew in the breakfast, sitting around the same table as last night. Seungmin was busy, so he didn’t join them, and neither Chan nor Changbin were around. Felix wasn’t surprised, he had a hunch he wouldn’t be seeing them that much. The breakfast the same as the day before, but Felix didn’t mind. Jisung did, as he clearly wasn’t the biggest fan of salted pork. 

“Why are these things always salted? Isn’t it enough that we are constantly surrounded by saltwater?” Felix let out a half-hearted laugh.   
“See, this is why Felix is my new favorite! He has tea with the king and laughs at my jokes.” Felix rolled his eyes simultaneously with Hyunjin, who was clearly fed up with Jisung’s lame jokes after living him with years on the same boat. 

To the group’s great surprise, Minho sat down next to Jisung. Or more like sat half of a meter away from him, but sat down next to them, nonetheless. Jisung blushed, pink dusted over his cheeks.   
“O-oh, morning, Minho!”   
“Morning.” His voice was soft and quiet compared to Jisung’s. He didn’t even look up from his breakfast, leaving Jisung awkwardly fiddling his fork, clearly expecting at least eye contact or some sort of reaction. But Minho didn’t even spare a glance at him. 

Felix looked at Minho a little warily as he still had zero explanation to yesterday’s happenings. Now the boy looked quite non-threatening, but the mystique was still there.   
“What’s today’s agenda?” Hyunjin saved Jisung from the awkward silence.   
“Umh, well, Chan hasn’t said anything yet, and we’re going with full sails right now so… I think we won’t be needed until we reach the port. At least if we go by the same agenda as usually before sailing to Tortuga” 

Hyunjin nodded. He still looked a little tired, and his hair was even wilder than Felix’s. Except that somehow Hyunjin still looked ethereal and was glowing. Looking perfect, as always.   
“Chan wants you to teach all about the rigging to Felix.” Minho spoke again. It was only now that Felix realized that despite the softness of the boy’s voice, it still pierced through the air like it was spoken right next to the listener’s ear.

“Oh. Okay. Okay. Cool. We’ll teach everything about the rigging to Felix. Yes. Cool, I’m fine with that.” Felix almost giggled at Jisung’s stammering, so did Jeongin. It was so endearing. There was no way Minho wasn’t aware of it.   
“Why didn’t Chan tell me that himself…” Jisung quietly mumbled to himself, so quiet Felix almost didn’t catch it. But Minho surely did.   
“Because he’s busy.” The red on Jisung’s face deepened at least three shades. 

*** 

“Do you know anything about the rigging?”   
They were standing outside next to the bannister. It was a little windy, Felix had to push his hair constantly away from his face. The crewmembers were mostly chilling in the shadows, some of them had brought a table and a couple of stools from the lower deck and were playing some sort of game with dices. The waves were crashing against the hull, creating white foam after the ship.

Some gulls were screeching and circling the masts, Felix could see small islands in the horizon. They were nearing the land with full sails; the wind was on their side. The sky was light blue, the sun wasn’t burning against Felix’s skin as bad as it would do at noon. Sangyeon was steering the helm again.   
“Not much. I mean, I do know what they’re used for but that’s it.” Jisung nodded. Jeongin was leaning against the bannister with Hyunjin, gazing at the vast open (and trying to spot dolphins or sharks). Minho had left them after breakfast. 

“Alright. I don’t even know where to start.” Felix gave Jisung an encouraging smile, with an apologetic expression. Then again, he didn’t think the other actually minded teaching Felix all this stuff, he seemed excited.   
“First off, don’t touch this shroud. Never ever.” Jisung tapped on the large rope that was tied to the bannister with huge knots. The shroud was thick, the rope was at least as thick as Felix’s wrist, if not thicker.   
“This is one of the shrouds that supports the main mast. There’s another on the other side. Each of the masts have these. Don’t touch them or our masts will fall.” 

Felix nodded and took a mental note to never touch one of those thick ropes. And if he was being honest, the knots looked pretty much unsolvable, so it’d be quite unlikely for him to ever try to untie them.   
“Now, these shrouds are similar to those thick ones, and they’re also called shrouds because nothing makes sense.” Jisung pointed at the ladder-like formation of ropes and lines. 

“And you’ll also use them to climb up to the masts.” Felix nodded, that was basically the only thing he had already known, as he had seen Hyunjin climbing up those things.  
“And then we have those smaller ropes crisscrossing everywhere, and they’re holding the sails in place.” When Felix looked up, he knew what Jisung meant by crisscrossing everywhere. They were literally everywhere, and to the unpracticed eye it looked like a huge mess.  
“And as you can see, between the masts go other lines that hold them up. Don’t touch those either. Basically, don’t touch anything but the ones that hold the sail, unless you’re told differently.” 

Jisung was in his element, as he began telling how every different rope affected the whole sail, how the tightness of the shrouds depended on the weather, how the crew would operate if a storm approached (and what they needed to do anyway in case of a huge storm). He also told Felix that every once in a year they would make port in some island and turn the entire ship around to scrub the hull and get rid of barnacles. And that was the only time the main shrouds would be untied. But apparently, they had done that just a while ago, so it wouldn’t be one of Felix’s concerns in the near future, anyway. 

“Let’s go up.”   
“What?”   
“You heard me, let’s go.” Jisung took hold of the ladder-like shroud and stepped on the bannister.   
“I’m not climbing up there.” Felix shook his head and eyed at the shrouds leading to the spreaders.   
“Sure you are. Hyunjin an Jeongin will join us.” Jeongin looked just as displeased as Felix did;  
“Do I really need to?”   
“Yes, you too.” Jisung took the first step on the rope ladder. 

Felix wasn’t terrified of the actual climbing, he was more terrified of the fact that if he were to fall from the shrouds, he would most likely fall all the way down to the sea. And he wasn’t so keen on sipping some salt water today, as they were going full speed towards Tortuga. Hyunjin gave Felix’s shoulder a light push.   
“I’ll be right behind you, don’t worry.” 

Felix gulped as he followed Jisung’s lead. The other boy was already a couple of feet from the ground as Felix took hold of the shroud. He stepped on the bannister, gripping the ropes so hard his knuckles turned white. He quickly glanced down only to see white foam and the ocean swirling underneath his feet (it was kind of luring him in). He took a deep breath before he swung his body on the shroud and took the first step. 

“See! Not so bad.” Jisung exclaimed from somewhere above him.   
“It’s much easier if you don’t look down.” Hyunjin was right behind Felix, as he had promised. Felix did as he was told and did not look down. Instead he looked up and tried to follow Jisung. This surely wasn’t the first time Felix was climbing a rope ladder, he had crafted one himself when he had been ten years old and used it to escape his room one beautiful night, just to see His Majesty’s royal armada pass by their island up close. It had been one of the most magical nights of Felix’s life. 

But his rope ladder hadn’t swung in the wind, nor had there been three other climbers at the same time. Felix struggled, his arms hurt, especially the blisters on his hands. And the wind was no joke, it pushed Felix’s hair on and in his eyes constantly, making it hard for him to see where to place his hands, where to grab the next rope and where to stick his feet. 

And then his foot missed, and Felix squeaked as he gripped the ropes with all his might to not fall. Hyunjin behind him bursted in laughter.   
“Not funny!” Felix whined, his voice a little shaky.  
“C’mon, you’re not gonna fall!” Jisung yelled from above them, he was already sitting on the highest spreader.  
“You sound awfully confident in my climbing skills!” Felix got himself together as he yelled back at Jisung and continued climbing, but with much more caution. 

The huge sail of the middle mast was just next to Felix, swaying in the wind a little. The wooden mast was creaking a little, so were the ropes underneath Felix’s feet. First, biggest spreader got left behind, and higher they went. Second spreader, and even higher, up to the clouds. 

And the next thing he knew, he had Jisung gripping his other arm and pulling him up to sit next to him. Felix grabbed the mast next to him with all his might as the spreader boom wasn’t necessarily the most stable place to sit, nor very broad. Hyunjin swung himself on the spreader on the other side of the mast with grace and helped Jeongin sit next to him.   
“I hate this.” Jeongin croaked out. He looked a little pale as he grabbed onto Hyunjin’s arm with vigor. 

“Not a fancier of heights?” Felix asked, empathy laced in his voice. Jeongin shook his head, and Felix felt pity towards the younger boy. And a little guilty, if it wasn’t for him, Jeongin wouldn’t have to climb up in the mast.   
“Well, Lix, how do you like the scene from this angle?” Jisung smiled, having adopted Jeongin’s nickname for Felix as well. Felix looked finally up, and the view took his breath away. 

Blue, all around him. Boundless amounts of blue, all the way to the horizon, where the cloudless sky met the sea. Little islands dotted the view, Felix could see the outline of another ship far away from them. The wind swept his orange locks away from his face, made his eyes water. Sunshine sparkled against the water, nearly blinding Felix. Laughter bubbled up from the depths of his chest. Felix wanted to let go of the mast, spread his arms and shout from the top of his lungs, but the last bits of sense in his head didn’t give in. Instead, he let go of the mast with his other arm and hooked his leg on the shroud beneath him, copying Jisung. 

A seagull was sitting on top of the crow’s nest, where the look-out pirate was, well, taking a midday nap just above the four of them. Felix could hear some pirates talking beneath his feet and looked down. He was so far up. So far, the crew looked tiny. Sangyeon was talking to Chan on quarter deck. The ship was leaving a white foamy trail behind it, the ocean was a little restless. Felix could also hear the waves hitting the hull of the Euryale as the ship broke through them. 

Felix felt free. He felt like he had the whole world ahead of him. For the first time since he had got kidnapped on the ship, he let his guard fall down. And he was smiling. From ear to ear, so bright the sun couldn’t really compete.

“Ha! I knew it!” Jisung giggled next to Felix. Felix turned his head to the black-haired boy and cocked his eyebrow.   
“Knew what?”   
“You’d love the heights! You just have that feeling, ya know. I bet you climbed all the trees you could when you were little.” Felix couldn’t help but give a laugh.   
“I did. And I love this, you’re right.”   
“Oh, we can see that.” Hyunjin butted in, smiling. Jeongin didn’t look as terrified anymore. 

“So, what does it take to be a whatever that dude above us is doing?” If Felix had to do something on the ship for the bread, he’d love to be sitting on top of the mast and gazing at the open sea.   
“A look-out. And don’t worry about it, there are a couple of look-outs right now, but we could use some more. Hyunjin is a look-out, I do that sometimes, too, but mainly it’s too boring for me and I either fall asleep or get bored. Anyways, someone needs to be on look-out at all times, including nights so we need plenty of people for that. Don’t worry, your time will come too, probably sooner than expected since new crewsmen get most of the night shifts.” Felix nodded. Nightshifts didn’t sound too bad… 

“What about if it’s really stormy?”   
“Then no one’s in the crow’s nest, all hands are needed on deck and there’s a huge risk you’ll fly into the sea.” The mast swayed a little in the wind, and Felix could totally see why no one would want to be up there during a storm. 

Felix’s grip on the mast had loosened quite a lot. He just knew it, this was it. This was what he had wanted to do since forever. Feel free, feel the wind in his hair, in his face, making his clothes waver. This was the feeling he had been seeking for the last eighteen years of his life (yet still, there was some worry in the very back of his mind Felix couldn’t push away). 

“I think me and Jeongin will head down, I’m pretty sure he’s going to vomit soon.” Felix and Jisung nodded at Hyunjin, who helped Jeongin to place his feet back on the shrouds. Felix gazed back at the sea as Hyunjin and Jeongin left him and Jisung sitting on the spreaders. He didn’t want to return to the deck, ever. He could just spend the rest of his life up there. 

“It’s nice to see you loosening up finally.” Jisung said, he was gazing at the horizon as well.   
“What do you mean?” Felix looked at the boy next to him. The wind swept the black locks from his face, and the scar slitting through his features looked a little rough, yet it made him look charming. Enticing. Felix could see some faded, smaller scars on Jisung’s chin that he hadn’t spotted before. They were so faded one could only see them in direct sunlight. 

“We’re not that bad, you know.” Felix swallowed and looked at his other foot, that he was swaying back and forth lazily, following the movements of the ship.   
“I know you have heard some horrendous stories about pirates, but not all of them are true.” Felix nodded and bit his lip. He didn’t know what to say, as he really didn’t want to make Jisung feel bad. After all, the other …pirate had been nothing but good to him so far. 

“I’ve seen the way you eye at everyone, except Hyunjin and Jeongin. You’re on alert all the time, your shoulders are tense, you jump at the slightest of sounds. And I can’t blame you, I really can’t since I know you’re not used to this and this is you first time on a ship and we’re pirates, but you don’t need to be afraid of us.” 

Felix nodded again. He knew he was bad at concealing his true feelings. It was the one thing his father had constantly reminded him of.   
“I’m sorry.”   
“Nothing to be sorry of, but I just want to know, what are you so afraid of?” 

Felix remained silent for a few seconds. Then he took a deep breath. He might as well tell everything, it wasn’t like there was anything to lose.   
“I guess… I’m just… afraid of dying. Or what are you capable of doing to me? I mean, I don’t really know how many of you hate me as much as your captain does and I’m just… waiting for someone put me out of misery all the time and… I know it’s probably kinda dumb, I’m sorry.” Felix looked up at Jisung, only to find the other boy staring at him with a little crooked smile. There was some sadness laced in it. 

“No one’s going to neck you out of the blue, Felix, we don’t do things like that. And I really doubt no one hates you apart from the cap. Yeah, we know the story, and we do think your dad is a dick for wanting us all dead, but we’re used to that, he’s not the first one to come at us. Most of the crew, well, they understand what the revenge is all about and the rest don’t really care. But no one hates you personally.”   
“Not even Changbin? Or Minho? Because those two don’t seem to fancy me very much.”   
“Minho hates everyone, Changbin doesn’t hate you. Or I don’t think he hates you, he just… well, he’s his father’s son. But if he were to hate you, he wouldn’t have sat with us yesterday. If he hated you, you’d definitely know by now. He can get really mean. Ad even if he would hate you, he’s at least curious now, and that’s a good thing.” 

A huge boulder of anxiety was taken off Felix’s shoulders. He had been so certain half of the crew wanted to throw him overboard. He took a deep breath and smiled at Jisung.   
“Thank you.”   
“No problem, I just would rather see you a little more carefree among us. Sure, it’s a lot to learn still, and it will take time to get adjusted to all of this. You have been on the deck for two days, but this is probably the first time I see anyone being so excited about learning all the new things about the rigging and everything. You smile every time you look at the vast open. You clearly belong here, Felix. Even if this is a pirate ship.” 

If Felix hadn’t been sitting on a swaying spreader on top of a mast right now, he would have hugged Jisung. Instead, he smiled and nodded again, mumbled another thanks. But he hadn’t told him all of his worries, he didn’t want to. He was afraid the other boy would get mad at him. After all, pirates did kill people, didn’t they? They killed nice, good men, those who were just transporting supplies from one continent to another. They stole, they thieved. And Felix would have to be part of that if he didn’t find a way to somehow escape. 

But that would require a really damn lucky string of events, and Felix was slowly succumbing to the fact that he’d spend the rest of his life on Euryale. And it probably wasn’t going to be a long life. 

“C’mon, let’s get down, I still have a lot to show you.” 

*** 

“So we have topsails and lower sails, got it.”  
“Yeah, easy, and the top-gallant sails above crow’s nest. And the sprit topmast in the bowsprit.” Jisung was tugging on one of the shrouds that was holding the sail in place. They were standing on the quarter deck. Sangyeon was still steering the wheel, Chan was talking to a few crewmembers next to the compass table. Felix could hear that they were talking about some old maps in someone called “sir William’s” basement. 

Felix couldn’t help himself but kept on eyeing the doors to the captain’s cabin. He was convinced the captain was going to burst through the doors with a sword in his hand and slice Felix’s head off of his shoulders.   
“And if someone yells full sails, it means all of the sails have to be opened and tied down. And half sails means usually just the main sails, no top sails. And if someone yells only like “foresails” then its just the main foresail.”  
“That “someone” means Chan?”  
“Or the bosun or the captain.” 

The pair walked up to the mizzenmast that stood just behind the helm.   
“These horizontal spars that every mast has are called booms.” The spar was right on Felix’s head’s height.   
“Makes sense.”   
“It helps control the angle and the shape of the sail if the sail angle is away from the boat’s center.” The sail wasn’t currently tied to the boom.   
“I don’t understand but okay.”   
“You don’t need to, just if someone yells ‘boom about’ and you’re near the sails, duck. Or you might die.”   
“Oh.”   
“Yeah, nasty little bastards, especially during storms.” 

Hyunjin and Jeongin found them again, Jeongin looked just fine. The red had returned to the apples of his cheeks again.   
“Feeling better?” Felix asked, still a little guilty.   
“Yeah, no problem!” Jeongin smiled at him. It was so adorable how every time Jeongin smiled, the grin reached his eyes and made them turn to little crescents. Much like Hyunjin. 

“I think lunch will be ready soon.” The wind ruffled Hyunjin’s hair (in a perfect way, as always).   
“Thank gods! I’m starving!” Jisung leaned on the boom.   
“You’re always starving.” Hyunjin grinned.  
“This teaching stuff is exhausting.” 

“So, Felix, are you a full sailor now?” Chan slung his arm around Jeongin’s shoulder as he joined their little circle.   
“He is, because he has a great teacher. Ain’t that right, Felix?” Felix laughed as Jisung nudged him in his stomach in a teasing manner.   
“Yeah, yeah, I suppose I am.”   
“Jisung has probably forgot to tell half of the stuff he should, so if you have any problems, you can ask me, too. I’m not the quartermaster of this fine establishment for nothing.”   
“Okay, I will, thanks.” Felix smiled at Chan.   
“Does the prediction that well be at Tortuga before nightfall still stand?”   
“Yeah, although I’d say we’ll be there before the sun sets. I guess we’ll be there before dinner, our speed is faster than we expected.” Chan ruffled Jeongin’s hair. 

A bell rung on the main deck.   
“Yes!” Jisung yelled and pumped his fist in the air before grabbing Felix by his arm.   
“Let’s go!” Jeongin and Hyunjin followed suit as Felix and Jisung descended the stairs to the main deck. The other crewmembers were making their way to the kitchens as well. Felix looked around him, a little wary, but then remembered what Jisung had told him. No one hated him to the very core of their being, and no one was going to kill him on sight. He could relax. So he did. He didn’t let the thought rising from the back of his mind get the best of him. He was going to be fine. He was fine. 

*** 

“I still don’t understand how that works.” Felix, Jisung, Hyunjin and Jeongin were sitting on the deck, leaning against the cannons on the bannister. They had been following a dice game some of the crew members had been playing for a quite a while now, and Felix was desperately trying to understand the basics of the dice game. The afternoon sun was nearly ruthless, the sky clear of any clouds. There wasn’t much to do on the ship, one pirate was steering the ship, one was on the look-out. The cooks were still cleaning up the kitchen. Felix was a feeling a little languid, his stomach full and the sun warming his skin.

“Right now they’re playing Crown and Anchor. It’s a gambling game between two players, one is a banker and one is a player.” Jeongin began explaining to Felix how the game worked. On the table the crew had brought to the main deck from the lower deck was a canvas that had six symbols on it. 

One by one, the players and bankers changed, some laughed, some mumbled in annoyance. Felix guessed the bets weren’t that high since no strong reactions showed up.  
“Do you have any other games besides that?”   
“There’s plenty of other dice games, most of them require bets and gold, though. The crew loves gambling. But we do also have some playing cards, I think.”   
“And a dusty old chess board.” Hyunjin added. 

“Chess!” Felix exclaimed. The boys turned to look at him, a little astonished.   
“You like chess?” Jeongin raised his eyebrow at Felix.   
“It’s not my favorite, but I know how to play.” Felix was surprised they had that on the ship.  
“Of course he knows how to play chess! Oh, the life of an aristocrat!” Felix pushed Jisung’s shoulder gently, the audacity of this boy!   
“Can you teach us some time? It’s just been lying here, and no one actually knows how to play it. Except the captain but he rarely joins us. Let alone teaches us how to play.” Jeongin sounded thrilled.   
“I can do that, yeah. My mom taught it to me when I was like five or so.”   
“That’s so rad!” Hyunjin 

“What’s rad?” Seungmin sat next to them. He swiped some sweat off his forehead.   
“Felix knows how to play chess!”  
“Oh really? I want to learn it, too. I’m sick of those gambling games. And sick of scrubbing the damn kitchen floor every day. Why can’t the crew eat a little less pig-like.’?”

Felix snorted just as a shout resonated through the air.   
“Shallow waters ahead! Take the topsails and foresail down!” 

Jisung grabbed Felix by his arm as he rose up.  
“Let’s take the foresail so we don’t have to climb.” Following Jisung’s lead, they ran to the mast in the forecastle. Jisung told Felix everything he had to do as Hyunjin climbed on top of the foresail. Felix opened the knots of one of the shrouds that were tied to the bannister as well as on the mast, and soon Hyunjin, along with some other crewmembers were gathering the sail up, pulling it from ropes and then tying it around the spreader. Felix watched as the other crewsmen worked so easily far above his head, completely unfazed by the movements of the ship.   
“Next time someone commands that, you know how to do this shit on your own.” Felix cracked a smile at Jisung;  
“Yeah.”

“All hands on deck! Get ready to make port, we aren’t far from Tortuga!” Chan commanded from the quarter deck. Felix turned around to look above the bowsprit into the horizon. 

And there it was, still far from them rose an island from the sea, in the middle of a peaceful bay. Felix could make out multiple ships on the port, the masts rising to sky looking like spikes. Something in the city was burning, dark smoke rose up and above before the wind blew it away. The sun behind Felix’s back made the place look nearly inviting, just a normal port on an island. 

Tortuga. City of thieves and rogues. 

Felix tried to swallow the lump stuck in his throat down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohhohhoo, it's about to get exciting! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
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	9. 9

“Prepare to drop the anchor three hundred feet from the port!” Chan’s voice pierced through the air, commanding the crew. Felix could hear it in his voice, he was meant to be in charge. Meant to be the quartermaster (or even the captain some day).   
“Furl the mizzen sail!” 

Felix took a few steps back to stand next to the cannons, so he wouldn’t be on the way. Some of the crewsmen were carrying the table and the barrels they had sat on back to the lower deck. Jisung and Hyunjin left for the mizzen sail but Jeongin leaned against the bannister next to Felix, so did Seungmin. There wasn’t still any hastiness in the air, most of the crew were still napping in the shadows as it didn’t require the whole crew to secure the sails. 

Felix turned back to stare at the approaching city. Despite the sails being rolled up they were still nearing it with quite a fast speed, at least too fast for Felix’s liking. What was the worst thing that could happen? Images from Felix getting a sword pierced through his chest and someone bewitching him to him being sold to some pirate king in the streets of Tortuga ran through his head until Jeongin poked his shoulder lightly. 

“I promise, you’re going to be fine. We’ll be with you the whole time and as long as there aren’t any captain’s enemies, the pirates are going to let us be.” Felix just nodded at Jeongin’s words, but he couldn’t help the cold shivers running down his back, making his skin crawl. But what if there were enemies? Or even worse, what if there was someone who recognized Felix and knew he was the son of the governor of Nassau? Far from home, all alone on a pirate ship? 

“Besides, Minho is coming with us and I doubt there’s no one scarier on the whole island than him.” A little spark of a smile stretched across Felix’s features.   
“And the cap told him to keep you out of trouble, so we will be just fine.” Jeongin’s words made the heart racing in Felix’s chest calm a little. True, Minho was frightening, Felix truly had noticed that and if he really were to join them on their stroll through the city, then they’d be just fine. At least, that’s what Felix hoped. Unless Minho would want to get rid of him.

Jeongin was a gift. His presence made Felix feel more at ease, in a different way than Hyunjin’s did. Felix couldn’t put his finger on what was the thing that made the younger so easy to be around, but there was something. Something in those violet eyes of his. Something in his feather-like touch that kept Felix’s head above the water. 

The ship sailed into the bay from quite a narrow opening that wouldn’t fit more than two ships next to each other. The city was well hidden, as someone who ought to be just sailing past the island wouldn’t have noticed the bay from afar. Unfortunately, the reputation of the city didn’t do much on keeping the city in secret, as the stories and rumors spread from the Caribbean all the way to Europe. Tortuga had been the topic of one of the bedtime stories Felix’s mother had scared him with, trying to keep him from misbehaving. The British had tried to raid the city for years, but didn’t succeed as one rumor told, the city continued beneath the hills and the rogues always found a way to defeat the soldiers. 

The sea turned from deep blue to turquoise in the shallow waters, contrasting against the white sands stretching on both sides of the bay beautifully. Rocks were sticking up from the depths near the cliffs surrounding the bay. The city of Tortuga stretched wide and far, and behind it rose a wild jungle on a hill. Felix could tell it was a little bigger than Nassau, and clearly livelier, making Nassau seem like a ghost town. He could count at least twelve different ships of various sizes tied to the pier, none of them bigger than Euryale. 

And he even recognized some of them. Scylla, a man-of-war under privateer Kai’s wing. What was he doing in a pirate haven? Unless he had abandoned his life as a privateer and turned into a pirate, he had no business in such waters. Odysseus, a pirate ship Felix had heard stories of was floating next to Scylla, her emerald green hull standing out in the middle of all the unpainted ships. Felix’s father had tried desperately to sink it, but he had failed every time since the ship was fast and agile compared to HMS Victory. 

The captain of Odysseus was better known as Bang Yongguk, or the man with seven faces. Felix had no idea where that came from, but he was also quite sure that he did not want to know. He had never seen the man, and he was planning on not to change that. The thought of someone recognizing Felix and Yongguk somehow finding out that Felix was the son of Charles Lee made the hairs in the back of Felix’s neck stand up. But he couldn’t be worse than Captain Seo, could he? 

The ship had clearly slowed its pace, the main sail no longer full of wind. Gulls were screeching everywhere, some swarming above the docks. As they got closer, Felix could see figures standing on the docks, some on the shore, some walking up the main street crossing the center of Tortuga. Much like in Nassau.   
“Drop the anchor!” 

Felix turned his attention back to the deck, where a bunch of sailors were already climbing up the main mast, waiting for their orders. Felix heard the sound of something metallic clinging against each other, and then a splash. Some droplets landed on his shirt and face as the anchor dropped down into the depths right below his feet. 

“Slow her steady! Furl the main sail!” Felix could hear the chain clanking against the hull as the anchor sank, the metallic noise coming somewhere from within the ship. As soon as Chan yelled his commands, Felix could feel the ship gently slowing its pace. 

For a brief moment Felix wondered how they did that, but he assumed it had something to do with the other capstan in the hold. The crew was running around, Jisung ran past Felix and Jeongin and climbed up the shrouds to the main mast, Hyunjin right after him. More crewsmen disappeared underneath the deck to help slow the ship, Seungmin untied a couple of the shrouds next to Felix. 

“I wonder if the Headless Captain is still up and running.” Seungmin mumbled, clearly directed more to Jeongin than to Felix.   
“I hope. They have the best sandwiches in the whole town. Sunken Sailor’s Inn is the second.” Felix cocked his eyebrow at the two;   
“They’re pubs, if you’re wondering. The finest establishments in Tortuga, but not nearly as popular as the cheap ones near the docks like The Tavern of Queen Mary. Or just Queen Mary.”   
“Ah.” Felix nodded. 

“I think it’s best for us to avoid the rowdiest ones.” Seungmin suggested, Jeongin hummed in agreement.   
“Wouldn’t want for our little landlubber to get scared.” He winked at Felix and giggled, Felix snorted and rolled his eyes at him (but inside, he was grateful). Felix was glad to see Seungmin slowly but surely opening up, smiling every now and then at him. The tension in his shoulders wasn’t so visible anymore, and Felix took the jokes as a good sign of him being accepted by the cook.   
“Jisung will definitely want to go to the rowdiest ones, though.” Jeongin commented, gazing at the town they were approaching. Seungmin seemed adamant;  
“Then we’ll split. Or he’ll have to give in.” 

“Who will have to give in?” Speaking of the devil. 

*** 

The plank underneath Felix’s feet thudded as he and Jeongin descended down to the dock from the ship. Hyunjin, Jisung and Seungmin followed suit, little coin pouches hidden in their clothes, swords hanging from the sash belts. Felix had also been given a sword, dainty and pointy, but deadly nevertheless. It was tied around his waist with a belt, the sheath lazily hitting against his thigh with every step. The weight of the sword made Felix feel a little more at ease. Minho was nowhere to be seen, but Jisung had insisted on them leaving already, completely sure that the pirate would eventually find them. “He just has that thing, you know”, he had said. Felix really didn’t know, but he could imagine. 

The gulls were screeching above their heads, looking for food. Some pigeons were sitting on the pier posts. Chan had made port on the farthest dock from the shore as Euryale was too big to fit next to Odysseus, then the crew had tied her up on the pier and Chan had given his last orders. The ones who had some business to do had already gone on their respective ways, some of the crew were still gathering their belongings and some were already getting drunk in the nearest tavern. 

Felix could hear the rippling of the waves beneath the dock planks. It reminded him of his kidnapping, the sounds were similar to the ones he had heard back in the docks of Nassau. The ships surrounding them on both sides of the dock rose far up in the sky with their huge masts and Felix felt tiny. He was looking in awe at them, nearly stumbling to his feet. He could see some members of Scylla’s crew standing on the deck, talking. Some pirates were standing and chatting in front of some other ship’s gangway. Felix could feel stares directed towards their little group at the back of his head as they passed by other ships. The Bachelor’s Delight, the Crimson Moon, the Golden Insanity… Duchess of the Sea… Felix read the names of the ships they passed by, at least the ones he could see. Along with the English and Spanish names he could make out some French as well as Dutch. Truly an international little town. 

They turned on to the main way of the dock and the sight in front of Felix made his blood seize. The whole city of Tortuga spread out in front of him, way closer than before. There were multiple groups of pirates standing on the docks, and even more on the shore. Felix could hear laughter, distant yelling and music coming from the pubs near the pier. People everywhere. Somewhere was a dog barking.   
“Ain’t those boys from Euryale?” Felix heard someone saying from behind him but didn’t turn around. It seemed like not only the captain was famous in these circles. 

Jisung slung his arm around Felix’s shoulder as the boys walked up the dock to the city. The shore was apparently some kind of marketplace, little booths and stands everywhere with no proper order. The marketplace stretched as wide as the port did, then fading into little alleyways at the edge of the city. Not only could Felix now heard Tortuga, he could also smell it. Tortuga smelled like fish. And beer. And something rotten. And gunpowder. And the sea. But above all, it smelled like something adventurous. 

Felix looked at one of the booths that was selling some fish for low prices. He wouldn’t have known the fish was low priced if it wasn’t for the man screaming behind the table about the cheap fish as there wasn’t any boards or parchments telling about the expenses of the fish.  
“How does money work here?” Felix asked quietly from Jisung, just out of curiosity.   
“It doesn’t. In some places that sell more expensive stuff it does, but in pubs and marketplaces it really doesn’t. Usually I just give some coins and get something in return or exchange pieces of jewellery for food or new clothes. There are so many different currencies moving and no one really knows how much they’re actually worth. People just talk about shillings when they talk about money, if the pub owner says three shillings a jug, he means three coins of whatever currency you have.”   
“And sometimes doing something is enough for a payment, like I once went to get more fresh water for the owner lady in Sunken Sailor’s Inn and got a week’s worth of food in return.” Hyunjin butted in.

One of the booths was selling salted meats, one was selling jewellery. Another one was selling spells and hexes. Felix snorted as he saw the lady dressed in black robes gripping a pirate’s arm and forcing him to buy one of the little bottles containing some kind of green liquid.   
“Do those things really work?” He asked, a little mockery laced in his voice.   
“If you believe in them.” Jeongin smiled at him. 

The day was turning into evening, the sun wasn’t as scorching hot as it had been before. A breeze of wind trifled Felix’s hair, the zephyr much more delicate than out in the open sea. Someone smelling like rotten fish pushed past their little group and the feather on his hat tickled Felix’s neck. The man was small, his head barely reached Felix’s shoulder. The sellers behind their stalls were screaming a cacophony of prices, but Felix noticed that most of the pirates just passed by, some going back to their ships, some heading towards the city.   
“This marketplace is filled with pickpockets, so most of the people just pass by.” Seungmin explained. How ironic, thieves avoiding other thieves. 

The group reached the edge of the marketplace where the main street of Tortuga began. Felix could tell that Tortuga was built in similar ways with Nassau, one main street with smaller streets and alleys diverging from it. The main road was paved with gobblestones, but it was clearly already worn out. There were slits and potholes in the road where the stoning had given in and broken. On both sides of the street were taverns, pubs, inns, brothels, little shops full of everything and anything. Felix could see clothing shops, a tailor’s little boutique, even a shop selling exclusively hats for captains. Some of the shops had a pirate standing outside of them and Felix assumed they were supposed to be watchmen guarding the more expensive places, for most of the windows were broken, or there just wasn’t any at all. 

The buildings of the city had once been painted, some traces of reds and blues here and there, but mostly the paints had already worn off. The hinges of the doors were rusty, creaked every time they were opened. The sun threw long shadows on the ground as it started slowly to set behind the city, making it a little hard to see as Felix’s little group was facing it. There were crowds of people everywhere, standing outside of the pubs with wooden jugs in their hands, laughing, eyeing everyone passing by. Felix could see a couple of the crewmembers of Euryale standing outside of one pub that had a seagull painted over its door. Some of the pirates Felix saw were dressed in fancy clothes, huge hats and golden embroideries on their longcoats, but most of the pirates were dressed in similar clothing as the crew of Euryale. Shirts varying in colors, breeches, some didn’t even have shoes. Unkempt beards, messy hair covered with bandanas. Felix noticed now how every pirate they passed by was somehow armed, some of them had two swords and a gun. Even the ladies of the brothels had some sort of protection with them. But above all, Felix saw happy pirates. Smiling, laughing, not worrying about anything. Minding their own business.

Jeongin lead them from the main street to a slightly smaller alleyway. The shadows made the alley appear a lot darker than the main street. Among the boutiques were actual living quarters and motels, along with more brothels. The deeper they walked into the little town, the more macabre the shops turned. Felix could see shrunken heads on one of the windows. Parrots, corpses of parrots. Something that looked like an actual corpse of a pirate and it made Felix’s stomach twist and turn. Little by little Felix started to notice more details. The torches outside of the buildings. Pirates looking at them more and more suspiciously, how there wasn’t nearly as many people on the alleys as there were on the main street. Shrill laughter coming from one of the dark-looking boutiques. How some of the red wall paint was splattered weirdly. 

And then it struck Felix. That wasn’t paint. That was blood. Blood splattered on one of the walls and the ground, already dried. It clearly hadn’t been there for more than a couple of days. And there was a lot of it. Jeongin noticed the panicky look on Felix’s face and squeezed his hand. 

The rest of the group didn’t notice anything out of ordinary, Felix supposed they were already used to it. Despite the other pirates looking like happy fellows, Felix could feel how the city was… hateful. It didn’t like people who were keen on its secrets. It didn’t like people sticking their noses into its business. Tortuga wanted to remain a mystery even to its inhabitants, and especially those who were just passing by. It treated people with kindness as long as they treated it with respect.

The three following Felix and Jeongin continued their chatting. Some lady was trying to lure them into a brothel (“Hey, pretty boys, I have something for you with just three shillings!”). The smell was no longer as fishy as in the marketplace, now it smelled just… bad. Like a pigsty. Felix was quite sure it had something to do with the oinking coming from behind one of the fences they passed. 

“Hey! Let’s stop by here!” Jisung chimed from behind and stepped into some mysterious-looking little boutique. Felix looked at Jeongin a little leerily, but the other one pulled him into the shop after Hyunjin and Seungmin. It was dim inside, the windows were covered with dark, heavy curtains. The air inside the shop was musty, the candles sitting on shelves and tables drawing odd shadows on the walls. The walls looked like they had once burned down, charred in some places. The multiple shelves and cabinets were filled with things odder than the other – tiny ships inside bottles (how had they got them in there?), skulls of different animals, some of them were painted blue and green and yellow and rose pink, crystals, swords, rolled pieces of parchment that Felix assumed were maps or some sort of directions to unknown lands. 

It was a souvenir shop, Felix realized. The things on the tables, shelves, even on the floor were from different parts of the world. Beautiful ceramic masks from the far east representing dragons hung from the ceiling along with katanas. Shields that looked like the one Felix’s father had brought home from Africa (a bang of sadness hit Felix’s chest). Skulls of animals with huge antlers that Felix assumed were from the far north. The little shop somehow felt like a completely other world, as the daylight couldn’t seep through the huge curtains and the noises coming from the streets outside were entirely shut off. Felix could only hear the others’ quiet talking and the bird rattling in its cage at the back of the shop. 

But there was no cashier. He and the boys were alone in the shop, not another soul in sight. Jeongin had let go of Felix’s arm as he had scuttled over to Seungmin who was looking at some crystal on the other side of the shop. Felix felt a little more restless but shrugged it off. He walked up to Hyunjin and Jisung who were looking at some sort of medallions and pendants hanging from fishhooks on the walls. There were a ton of them, some golden, some silvery, some just plain black with twined strings. There were crystals entwined to them, something that Felix guessed were teeth, one necklace with a key as the pendant, and then there were tiny glass bottles with different kinds of plants, corals and liquids inside of them. Just like back in the marketplace, but these looked… more real.

“Didn’t you buy your lucky charm from here?” Hyunjin asked from Jisung, his voice hushed. The atmosphere of the shop kept them from talking in their usual tone.   
“I did!” Jisung’s voice was surprisingly quiet as well. He fished his own medallion from inside of his shirt where it had rested against his chest. Felix hadn’t noticed it before, it was a similar kind of bottle to the ones hanging from the wall.   
“Has it worked?” Felix asked with his eyebrow cocked.   
“Bucko, I have sunk multiple ships and threatened more captains in my life than you have ever seen and somehow I’m still alive, so take a wild guess.” 

Hyunjin rolled his eyes behind Jisung which made Felix giggle.   
“And you just being a lucky person has nothing to do with it?”   
“Stop questioning everything, it’s gonna get ya killed.” Jisung nudged Felix in the ribs gently. He was smiling, and Felix knew by now not to take him seriously. Felix moved from the medallions to look at a glass coffer filled with greenish water. Inside were swarming at least five snakes, all quite small and colorful. Felix had seen snakes only once in his life, and that was when he had escaped with Eric to the other side of Nassau to look at the ships passing by.

In the water was some seaweed, sticks and corals so the snakes weren’t too uncomfortable. But Felix could still tell they didn’t belong in a glass box in some weird shop in Tortuga, they belonged in to the wild. Above the coffer was a shelf full of… balls. Glass balls. No, not glass. Crystal balls. Of different colors. Hues of purple, green, rosy pink, blue tones, even a black one. The black one looked like it would suck Felix’s soul out if he were to touch it. Felix could see his reflection against the rosy pink crystal ball. He could also see something cloud-like swarming inside of it. Smoke, perhaps? 

And it felt like it was calling to him. Like everything else in the shop had suddenly quieted down. The air felt a little heavier. Felix could no longer hear Hyunjin and Jisung talking behind him, he could just see his own reflection against the rosy glass, the smoke inside of it… creating something. The smoke begged for Felix to take ahold of the crystal ball, to let it open its secrets, tell Felix everything… He reached his hand out, his fingertips nearly touching the smoke, nearly grazing against the crystal emitting shimmering light, calling to him-.   
“I wouldn’t touch it if I were you.” 

Felix shrieked and jumped back. He almost knocked off a table filled with old, ragged, bloodstained clothing. He turned to the person leaning against the glass box bewildered;  
“What the-“   
“Oh, Minho! I told you he’d find us!” Jisung exclaimed, Felix’s yell clearly having broken the spell of mysterious atmosphere. Minho nodded at Jisung but didn’t break the eye contact with Felix.   
“How did you-? What-?” Felix couldn’t find the right words.   
“Easily.” Minho turned to the glass box and stuck his hand inside the water.   
“What are you doing?! There’s snakes in ther- “ And sure enough, Minho lifted one of the snakes from the box. It looked at Minho for a moment a little confused as to why it had been taken from its box and tasted the air with its forked tongue before it intertwined itself around Minho’s neck.   
“I know.”

The snake had red, blue and yellow stripes. It looked dangerous, and Felix was quite sure it was venomous. But Minho didn’t mind, apparently. He let the snake roam around his neck, clearly anything but afraid of it. Felix was horrified, and so were Seungmin and Jeongin by the looks of it.   
“Afternoon, boys. How may I help you?” 

It took everything in Felix’s willpower to not to scream again as he heard a quiet yet piercing voice from behind him. He turned around and sure enough, a woman dressed in violet robes was standing behind the countertop. She was old, had a rich, dark brown skin and obsidian eyes. Her black hair had white stripes in it, and she had white crosses, like little x-markings right next to both of her eyes. 

She looked bewitching. And she was staring right at Felix. Where the hell had she appeared from? Felix gulped, he felt threatened underneath the woman’s intense gaze.   
“You’re a new one. You smell like land. What’s your name?” What did she mean by ‘smell like land’? What the hell? Felix looked at Jisung and Hyunjin, who did not look nearly as afraid as Felix felt. In fact, they looked a little surprised but that’s about it.   
“Not very polite not to answer the question, young man.” A snake stuck its head out of the woman’s hair.   
“I-it’s Felix.”   
“Hello, Felix. Where are you from?”   
“U-uh. Nassau.”   
“Ah, the island of the horrible governor.” The woman’s eyes twinkled, and her lips turned into a cheshire grin. She knew. She knew for sure. 

She turned her attention from Felix to Minho;  
“Careful, Minho, she’s ferocious.”   
“I know.” Minho sounded like he was smiling, but Felix didn’t turn around to see it. His eyes were fixed on the woman and the pitch-black snake slowly circling itself around the woman’s arm. How did she know Minho? Were they friends or something? Or maybe Minho was a regular customer in the little souvenir shop, which didn’t seem like a souvenir shop anymore. Or perhaps it was a very threatening souvenir shop which exuded a very covert aura. 

“Jisung. Has my little luck charm worked for you?” The woman’s smile was simultaneously terrifying and beautiful. She looked like she knew all the answers beforehand and just asked the questions to be polite.   
“It sure has! Saved me from lots of things.” Jisung’s voice didn’t seep through any kind of fear. In fact, he seemed to be very delighted by the woman’s presence, he was smiling like a thousand suns. Hyunjin was smiling as well. 

“I was actually thinking of buying another one. Or one of these pretty pendants! Or the teethy ones!” The woman let the snake slither on the countertop which had a few pots and little boxes on top of it. The boxes were locked and looked old. The lady circled from behind and walked up to Jisung and Hyunjin, carefully dodging the tables. The dress she was wearing was long and a little ragged, dirty from the hem. It was a bit lighter purple than the robe she was wearing, which reminded Felix of moonlit nights (and that one robe his mother had worn when Felix was little and when he was feeling cold on one autumn day, she had wrapped him up in it like in a blanket).   
“I don’t think the charms would be fit for you. The pendants are just to look pretty, stupid sailors buy them because they’re the cheapest ones.” 

The woman took one of the necklaces from the fishhooks. An interesting choice of decoration. A tooth was hanging from the necklace along with a light pink seashell.   
“This is a shark tooth. It’s for a warrior. For someone, who knows how to fight.”   
“Well I do know how to use a sword and a gun.”   
“But are you a warrior?” 

The question was left hanging into the air. The woman and Jisung shared an intense eye contact, everyone else stayed quiet. Jisung didn’t yield, he stared the woman right in the eyes as she measured her with her gaze. She was contemplating whether Jisung was a warrior and worthy of the necklace, Felix figured.   
“Twenty shillings.” 

Jisung breathed in through gritted teeth. That was probably quite a lot of money.   
“What does it provide?” It was quite funny how Jisung’s whole demeanor had changed when the woman had started bribing. He was no longer smiling, his eyes were sharp and attentive, his whole posture was tense. Hyunjin took a small step back not to intervene the pair.   
“Strength. Courage. Speed.” Another, much smaller snake stuck its head out from the back of the woman’s robes. Jisung seemed to consider his options for a moment. 

“Fifteen.”   
“The price is not negotiable.”   
“Seventeen.”   
“You know my magic has its price.”   
Jisung chewed his lower lip, eyes back on the necklace. Was it really worth twenty shillings?   
“Eighteen.” 

The woman rolled her eyes, and at that moment Felix knew Jisung had won. So did Jisung by the looks of the smile spreading across the face. Felix heard Jeongin letting out a breath he was holding from somewhere behind him.   
“You’re lucky I like you and your siren boy.” The lady huffed and walked back to the countertop. Jisung pumped his fist in the air in victory before pulling his money pouch from between the folds of his shirt. He gave the right amount of coins to her, and Felix could see now what Jisung had meant with the definition of shillings. He had at least Spanish reals and British pounds with him, as well as some actual shillings. And then some odd golden coins Felix had no knowledge of. 

“Always a pleasure doing business with you, my lady.” The woman snorted at Jisung and handed him the necklace, which Jisung immediately slipped around his neck to accompany his other medallion. He didn’t mind the black snake on the countertop that curled itself around the coins. Felix felt a slight feeling of terror creeping up his back every time he looked into the snake’s yellow eyes. 

The woman lifted her gaze back to Felix, who was still standing in the same exact spot. He couldn’t really look away as the woman looked so intriguing, bewitching. Why did she have the white crosses on the either side of her face? Why did she own so many snakes, and how did they not bite her? (And what was Minho doing behind his back, Felix hoped to god he wasn’t anywhere near him with that colorful snake.)   
“Be careful, Felix. This island isn’t gentle, watch your back.” 

*** 

“What the hell was that?” Felix huffed as they stepped out of the boutique. Jeongin was beside him once again, arm linked to his arm. Jisung looked happy as ever with his new necklace. Minho had joined their little group and followed along, a few steps behind them. He no longer had the snake around his neck, though Felix was quite sure he would have not minded taking it with him. Seungmin and Hyunjin were leading the way, Hyunjin’s hands tugged into his pockets, and Felix could tell the air between them was a little pressured now that there wasn’t a Jisung to fill in the air with his talking. 

“That, my good lad, was a witch. A real one. And a great one” Felix cocked his eyebrow at Jisung. A witch? Psh. Felix sure didn’t feel the terror in the daylight anymore, as he had done inside the ‘souvenir shop’.  
“And what would be the name of the witch?” One could tell from Felix’s voice that he was really not believing Jisung. He thought the woman had just tricked Jisung, apparently twice by now. And she was quite convincing, so Felix couldn’t really blame the other pirate. Jisung shrugged;   
“Don’t know. She’s never told me her name, she just knows everyone’s names always. But she’s a witch, and you never question a witch unless you’re ready to pay for what you want.” Felix fell silent for a couple of seconds. He could perhaps somehow believe Hyunjin being a half siren by now as he had no other explanation for the things happening around the boy, but a witch? A creature from Felix’s nightmares when he had been little? 

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Jisung pouted. The slight breeze made his black locks fall over his eyes and forehead.  
“Uhh-“   
“It’s alright, I couldn’t believe it at first either. You’ll believe it at some point.” Well, that sounded ominous (Felix could feel Minho stare the back of his head).   
“She was scary.” Jeongin thought aloud with a small voice. Felix guessed the boy had never been to the shop either.

The group turned to a little busier street from the side alley. Busier, as in there were a couple of taverns next to each other and some pirates were standing outside of them, a lady pulled one of them along with her to a building Felix guessed was yet another brothel. There seemed to me a lot of them in Tortuga, at least compared to Nassau (which had zero brothels according to the governor, but everyone knew at least two existing).

Felix looked at the view in front of him. They were walking through a street that lead back to the pier from a slightly different angle than they had left. As the city was built uphill, they were currently quite a bit above the waterline, and the sight left Felix nearly breathless. 

The setting sun behind their backs dyed everything orange, including the turquoise waters of the bay. The sails of the ships looked orange, so did the buildings. The shadows stretched far and looked funny against the cobblestones. The wind was no longer but a mere zephyr, lazily trifling with Felix’s orange locks. It was peaceful, if he was being honest, if he excluded the shouts and cacophonous music coming from inside of the taverns. Maybe Jeongin’s arm linked with his arm had something to do with it, him feeling so peaceful and not scared to his very core. The gulls had fallen silent as the night approached slowly.   
“We’re here! I’m starving!” Jisung exclaimed, breaking the moment of peace inside Felix. 

And sure they were, as above Felix’s head hang a sign that read “Headless Captain – home of the brave”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo! the holidays are finally coming to an end which means that i will finally have time to focus on writing again, so the releasing schedule will be back on time next week! at least most likely, though i am not sure if it will last since uni is starting again and my curriculum for the upcoming months is much heavier than before, so if posting once a week gets too hard, i will start posting every other week instead. but that is only if! thank you all for reading this and being patient with me and the updates, i love u!! have a joyful new years!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw // drinking and mention of domestic abuse

A whiff of roasted meat, beer and something cloying hit Felix in the face as he stepped inside the tavern through the open door. It was quite crowded, a few empty tables here and there. The tavern was lit with little lanterns and torches hung on the walls and columns holding the roof beams. There were lit candles on the tables. The walls were made of stone that kept the air in the tavern a little cooler than on the outside. A few small windows let in the evening light, but Felix knew that light would be gone soon. 

Despite all the candles and torches, it was quite dim already. It reminded Felix of the hull of the ship, but unlike the ship, the dimness had no that watery blue shift to it. The light of the tavern was warm, inviting. Almost friendly. Apart from the light sources, there were really no decorations. No paintings, no mirrors, no fancy accessories on the tables or walls, no excessive textiles as Felix was used to taverns back at home. In the far corner were two people, one playing a flute and the other one a lute. The music wasn’t too loud as it did not power over the voices. And it really wasn’t that bad either, at least to Felix’s ear, and he was quite sure he recognized the song they were playing, Felix had learnt to play it with a piano a couple of year back. The pirates’ playing wasn’t horrible, just a little off-key. 

“Boys! Welcome back!” A cheerful shout resonated from the back of the tavern as a stout lady in her fifties limped towards them with a jug in her hand.   
“Madam Symphone!” Jisung exclaimed as he took Felix, who was unfortunate enough to be standing closest to him, by his wrist and dragged him along.   
“Take a seat at the back, I’ll bring you the usual!” The woman looked happy as ever, her rosy cheeks glowing in the candlelight. The nearby pirates’ heads had turned towards them, clearly examining the arriving young ones with their measuring gazes. Felix could hear some whispers and murmurs going on around them. What were such young boys doing in such a fine establishment? 

Soon Felix realized, to his relief, it wasn’t him who turned the heads, but Hyunjin. The boy’s cheeks were burning red as he tried to hide behind Seungmin’s back. Jisung pulled Felix along to one of the farthest tables from the door, the rest followed them. For a moment Felix wondered whether the alleged siren charms were leaking through again, and then he realized they were probably seeping through all the time. Felix was just used to them by now. The boys sat around the table and Jisung let go of Felix wrist, finally. Jeongin sat beside Felix, their backs facing the door. Minho took place right in front of him. Bugger. 

“Do you somehow know everyone here or are you regular customers or something?” Felix turned towards Jisung.   
“Let’s just say everyone knows Captain Seo, and we stop by Tortuga quite a lot as it’s the only safe port for rogues like us in the Caribbean. At least for now. And I like making friends as they may come handy at some point in my life. So, both.” Jisung smiled.   
“How often do you stop by here then?”   
“Once a month maybe. Depends really, if we have gotten enough supplies from a ship we have heisted then not so often.” Felix nodded. He would have to get used to this pirate town. Unless he’d die before the next moon. 

“Roasted beef, cheese, eggs, chicken and vegetables from my own yard!” Madam Symphone and two of her waiters brought bowls full of food in front of the boys, as well as plates and forks.   
“And port wine, beer and water. Best of the house!” Along with cups and jugs. Felix’s jaw dropped at the amounts of the food. He certainly had not expected that, definitely not from a place like Tortuga. The smell of the roasted meat and chicken made his mouth water. 

The lady pulled herself a stool from a nearby table and sat down;   
“Tell me, young men! Where have you been this time? I see you have brought a friend. Is Captain Seo hiring new ones?” The lady smiled at Felix, who returned the smile a little hastily. To his luck, Jisung once again did the talking.   
“We have been everywhere!” Felix followed Seungmin’s lead and started stacking food to his plate.   
“Caribbean, mostly. This sea is full of Spanish and English importing stuff from Europe to Caribbean nowadays, so many ships to heist! We have been thriving! And this;” Jisung slapped Felix’s shoulder a little too hard and Felix dropped the piece of carrot he had been holding with his fork; “is Felix!” 

Felix smiled at the woman again, who stuck her hand out to him.   
“Pleasure to meet you, Felix! Where are you from?” Felix took her hand and without thinking, kissed the back of it. When he lifted his face, he realized his mistake. A grave mistake. His ears turned bright pink as he stared at the lady, horrified. The woman looked just as puzzled. This wasn’t Nassau. The woman wasn’t an aristocrat.  
“I- I- uhh- I am from-“   
“He’s from England!” Jisung threw his arm around Felix’s shoulders and then turned to look at him; “London, didn’t you say?” Felix nodded, looking at Jisung with a panicked look. 

The woman looked surprised, so did the men sitting around the nearby table. Felix didn’t notice Minho glaring at them, nor the worried looks Seungmin and Jeongin exchanged. His eyes were glued to the lady and her reactions.  
“Yes, London.” Felix repeated and smiled to assure her; “Pardon my behavior, I still haven’t completely got used to this piracy thing.” And another wide smile. Just a little white lie, to play along with Jisung. Felix prayed she would believe it.

The woman seemed to be a little suspicious for a second, but then the smile reached her eyes.   
“Oh my, a real Londoner! How did you end up here, in the middle of the Caribbean?” That was a great question and Felix certainly did not have an answer for it. He glanced at Jisung, a little helplessly.   
“Well, you see, Madam, we were heisting one of the English brigantines, importing… wool. Wool and fabric. From London to Port Royal, you see and then… we heisted! Rouged! Took everything from the brigantine and killed everyone on sight!” With his free hand he mimicked a sword fight to emphasize his words. His lie. Their lie. Felix nodded along with Jisung’s story.   
“And then Felix came to the captain pleading for his life and the captain took him in because, c’mon, look at him, who could ever resist this adorable face?” Jisung pinched Felix’s cheek. 

“Yes, and then the captain took me in!” Minho had leaned back on his seat and watched the exchange in front of him from underneath his brows, a little amused. The others seemed to enjoy the show as well, now that the lady seemed to buy the lie.   
“But isn’t captain Seo known to be ruthless? No survivors on his heists?” Madam Symphone questioned.   
“Well, that is true, but Felix is an exception! Who wouldn’t want a real English sailor on their ship!” Both of them smiled at the lady.   
“Okay, I’ll buy it, it’s not the most lunatic thing I have heard. You do speak like a real Londoner.” Madam Symphone finally gave up. Felix let out a little breath he had been holding. 

The focus of the conversations shifted away from Felix, to his luck. He could finally stuff his mouth full of roasted beef and vegetables. Oh, how he had missed the taste of fresh carrots and potatoes and onions! Jisung and Hyunjin told the lady (who really liked them, by the looks of it) about one of their encounters with a Spanish ship in front of Santo Domingo. Felix knew it was a town basically on the other side of the Caribbean from Nassau, nothing else. Soon she left, excused herself as she was needed in the kitchen and wished good luck on the boys’ upcoming sails. 

Jisung turned to look at Felix with a murderous look (and if Felix didn’t know better, he would have been scared).   
“Mate! What the hell was that?” Pink dusted over Felix’s nose.   
“I’m sorry! I’m used to doing that to every lady in Nassau!” He spoke with a hushed tone so that the people sitting next to them wouldn’t hear.   
“Every lady? Like every woman you meet through the day? Don’t tell me you actually have to smooch everyone’s hands!” Jisung looked astonished.   
“Yes! Every woman of my class or above, and a little below, just to be classy!” Hyunjin looked like he couldn’t believe his ears.   
“Oh god, I didn’t know being an aristocrat was that much work, I thought y’all just did nothing all day.” Felix snorted and nudged Jisung in the ribs, gently. 

The port wine… a little more buzzing than back at home. With every sip Felix could feel his face heating up a little, warmth spreading to his body. Maybe it wasn’t such a wise decision to drink anything alcoholic in a town like Tortuga, surrounded with people he did not trust entirely yet. Or maybe he did trust Jeongin. And Hyunjin. The musicians had changed their song to a little livelier one. The meats, cheese, chicken, all of it tasted exceptionally great, and soon it seemed like all of the dark clouds above the group’s heads had gone by. The only one who wasn’t relaxed was Minho and honestly, Felix wasn’t surprised. 

What he was surprised about was the stool that was suddenly dragged next to him and the captain’s son sitting down. Chan pulled a seat next to Minho. One of the waiters brought them plates and some more food to eat. Felix was getting full (and perhaps a little red, pink dusting over his features, that damn wine, why didn’t he just take water).   
“Oi, Changbin! And mister quartermaster, how did you find us?” Jisung’s mouth was full of freshly baked bread, some crumbs dripping down to his shirt from the corners of his mouth. 

“We followed the scent of bad choices and stupidity.” Changbin took his plate with a completely straight face.   
“Lucky guess.” Chan added, smiling. Ah, a snarky joke, Felix understood. Seungmin found the joke funny, little smile lines appearing to the corner of his eyes as he laughed. Felix noticed how Hyunjin looked at the cook with such… endearment in his eyes. Like little stars (or it was the lanterns reflecting). Adoration. And Seungmin really was oblivious about Hyunjin? Or were they just… playing? He would have to confront Hyunjin about it at some point. Felix nearly smiled to himself but stopped as Changbin reached to his right to get the jug of port wine. He couldn’t reach it, so Felix scrambled to get the jug, a little too fast, a little too hastily, and ended up spilling some on the table.   
“Oops, excuse my shaky hands.” He could feel Changbin’s glare on him, and the red on his cheeks deepened. 

The worst of it was how Felix could feel Changbin’s presence next to him. He didn’t know what it was, was it the aura, was it the fact that he hadn’t really talked to the boy at all besides their encounter in the captain’s quarters, was it the fact that the boy seemed like he didn’t like Felix at all, most probably hated him to his very core. Sure, Jisung had told him that Changbin did not loathe Felix; he was perhaps curious – but Felix wasn’t really so sure about that. Or perhaps the boy was shy. But he didn’t seem like a person to be shy, and he was quite lively around the other boys.   
“And Felix kissed her hand! Can you believe!” 

Felix rolled his eyes at Jisung, Chan bursted into laughter. If he had turned his head to the left, he would have seen a little grin on Changbin’s face. It was odd, how quickly Felix felt like he wasn’t in such a danger anymore. How Tortuga wasn’t so bad, at least not the tavern they were eating at. How right now, sitting around the table with these pirates didn’t feel like the worst thing in the world. If someone had asked Felix a week ago if he would ever even talk to a pirate in a respectful manner, he would have absolutely declined. But now? He might even call these people his friends. Actual friends, something Felix really didn’t have back in Nassau. Apart from Changbin and Minho. And maybe Chan, since he barely knew anything about the quartermaster, perhaps he wouldn’t call them his ‘friends’. But Jisung, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin had been nothing but kind to him, and Felix could feel himself little by little opening from his little shell, smiling, laughing. Being himself. 

Without the restrictions his father and everyone else around him used to set him. Without having to think everything he said, without having to use formal language, without having to kiss every hand and make sure he was behaving well. Without having to fear that his father would slap him for not exceeding his expectations. Without having to use those horrendous ruffles in every piece of clothing he owned. 

Would he ever use those ruffles anymore? Would he ever see his home, meet his mother, kiss Mistress Smith’s hand, see Margaret smiling at him? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Felix didn’t know, and that at same time bothered him, and set him free. He didn’t have to know. Right now, he had a whole new life ahead of him, the whole vast sea ahead of him, new people to meet, new things to see, new everything (and the threat of getting killed any minute stirred at the back of his mind again). 

Maybe it was the food, maybe it was the companion he was with, but he felt quite safe. Nearly content. Maybe it was the weight of the sword on his hip. Maybe it was the fact that he knew the quartermaster and the captain’s son were both sitting at the same table, both presumably exquisite in fighting and detecting threats, and pirates never let their friends or crewmembers behind, did they? And Felix was, presumably, part of the crew now. A deck boy, as the captain had ordered. Was it the lowest rank? Or were there even worse jobs? Felix couldn’t really think of anything so bad, as deckboys were the ones scrubbing the floors from the lowest deck to the highest. And if he was being honest, it wasn’t bad. It’s not like he was used to it, but there was something about the seawind in his hair that made it all worth it. 

Or maybe it was the fact that Felix was finally letting himself to be free, and it was all he had yearned for so long. 

The port wine clearly did its job, Jisung’s nose and ears were beet red as he was passionately arguing about something with Hyunjin. Passionately, as in the motions of his hands were even more vivid than usually, and he was giggling. So no, the argument really wasn’t an argument. And he was loud, and so was Hyunjin, and Felix could feel the ‘siren charms’ leaking through as they were taking effect on him again. Probably one of the reasons why Felix was feeling so content again. Hyunjin was glowing in the candlelight, and his laughter was bright and clear, and the others noticed it, too, Seungmin was staring at Hyunjin with a little smile playing on his lips. Felix noticed Chan looking around, a little worried and whispering something to Minho. 

The waiter brought more food to the table and filled the jugs. For a brief second Felix worried how much all of this would cost and that he didn’t have any money with him, but then he remembered Jisung and Hyunjin had promised to pay for him. Felix made a mental note to somehow pay them back at some point. If he were ever to get any money of his own. If he were ever to be one to heist ships with the pirates. And then he’d have to call himself a pirate as well. Did Felix want that? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t really sure about anything, except for the fact that the port wine started to taste better with every sip and Changbin next to him was really quiet. 

Felix glanced at the boy, who was poking a piece of carrot across the plate, clearly deep in his own thoughts. For a brief second Felix wondered what kept the other so occupied, but then Changbin looked up at Hyunjin and Jisung and Felix quickly turned his gaze back to his own plate. Changbin was still an enigma to Felix. And he was intimidating, to say the least. He looked intimidating, his stormy eyes were intimidating, his whole demeanor was intimidating. And he wasn’t even looking at Felix. He was sitting beside him. And he was still intimidating. 

Felix realized him and Changbin were the only ones who really didn’t take part in the discussion about whether the rumors of mermaids swarming near Dead Man’s Bay were real. The tone had turned from a lively banter to more hushed, as the boys clearly didn’t want to draw attention to themselves. Rumors were rumors. Did pirates ever talk about anything apart rumors? Felix sure hadn’t heard any fact-based discussion during his evenings around the kitchen table. 

Felix wanted to properly thank Changbin for saving his life. Even if he really didn’t need to. The others were deep in their discussion, all leaned in on their seats, jugs of beer and port wine no longer full. Felix turned to Changbin, this time properly, not glancing, he really turned towards him. Changbin was still in deep thoughts, his brows were a little furrowed, lower lip pouting a little more than usual.   
“I wanted to thank you.” Felix said with a quiet voice so the others wouldn’t notice (Minho did). 

Changbin snapped out of his thoughts, blinked twice and then looked at Felix, a little perplexed.  
“What?” He croaked out. He clearly hadn’t been listening.   
“I said I wanted to thank you.” Felix repeated. The stormy eyes were back on him, sill enticing in the dim candlelight. Even deeper-looking than out in the sunlight. Beautiful.   
“What for?” Changbin took a swig from his mug.   
“For stepping out back in the captain’s cabin. You know, for saving my life.” Felix felt the tips of his ears burning, and he wasn’t sure if it was the wine again or Changbin’s stare. To Felix’s astonishment, the boy just scoffed;   
“Don’t think I did that for you.” 

Changbin dropped the mug back to the table, spilling wine everywhere, and rose to his feet.   
“I’ll go see what the cap’s up to.” And with that, he was off. Half eaten plate of food on the table, mug still mostly filled. Chan just waved his hand; the others looked a little confused. Felix’s face was burning in embarrassment. He felt humiliated. And prayed no one else had heard that. What the hell, that was not the reaction he had expected! Felix looked at his own plate, head low, not saying anything. The boy really didn’t like him, did he? Just as Felix had thought. Just as he had feared. 

Only if he had seen the pink dusting over Changbin’s cheeks when he had turned away from Felix. 

*** 

Seungmin turned out to be quite a loud drunk. He had a bright giggle; his eyes were a little unfocused and gaze hazy. Hyunjin had his arm slung around the boy’s shoulders, occasionally playing with the tips of Seungmin’s red locks with his fingers. It was so adorable. Jeongin wasn’t drinking port wine nor beer, he was apparently one of the wise ones in the bunch along with Minho. Chan was explaining how he had won a swordplay against that one Singaporean captain and won himself a barrel of gold. A couple of other crewmembers had found them and sat in the nearest table. Felix didn’t know their names. 

It was late, the boys had been sitting in the tavern for quite a long time. All of the jugs, plates, bowls were empty, their bellies full. The cheerful laughter, talking, shouting had increased in volume over the past hours, and the tavern was completely full. The band in the corner had got some more players among them, and the songs they were playing were known sailor songs, some of them songs even Felix knew. Occasionally some pirates erupted singing along to them. Jisung leaned his head against Felix’s shoulder, clearly drunk. Despite the hazy drunken state Felix himself was currently in, he was still a little bothered by Changbin’s behavior. Or maybe it was the drunken haze that kept him being bothered by it. Perhaps Changbin had a bad day. And Felix did interrupt his staring contest with his plate, so maybe that’s why he had been so snarky. Or he just didn’t like him. And that bothered Felix, more than what was necessary. 

“You’re so warm… so… nice… Fluff…” Jisung muttered and nuzzled his face closer to Felix’s neck. It tickled, but Felix didn’t scoot away. It was kind of cute, if he was being honest.   
“M’sleepy.” Jisung wrapped his arms around Felix’s waist and Felix put his hand around Jisung as well. This was good. Closure was nice. Jisung was warm, and everything Felix’s wine haze needed. Even though they had known each other for approximately three days.   
“Don’t sleep yet, we’re not in the ship.” If they were even going back to the ship. Felix assumed so, since they were leaving the next day. And he wasn’t too keen on staying in the city the whole night.  
“Mm-m, I won’t!” 

Felix had never been this drunk. Sure, he had drunk too much wine during dinner parties and stolen that one bottle of something very strong once with Eric when they had been fourteen years old, and even then they had got caught before they had downed the whole bottle, but he had never felt this buzzed. His senses were a little numbed, the loud talking and laughing and shouting and the music created a cacophony of their own in Felix’s ears, but he didn’t really mind it, no. But he wasn’t that drunk, he could still keep his mind focused and knew what was going on around him. At least almost. Though, he wasn’t entirely sure if his legs were stable enough to hold him up anymore. But he could have been more drunk, so he wasn’t really that pie-eyed yet. At least that’s what he tried to convince himself.

The hands around him made him feel secure.   
“Y’know what? I’m really glad we kidnapped you.” Jisung mumbled, his talking was a little slurred. Felix would have turned to look at the boy, but with this angle, it was quite hard.   
“Oh? I thought it was Chan and Sangyeon that kidnapped me.” Felix joked back.   
“Well yeah! But I helped! At least in theory.”   
“And how did you help exactly?”   
“I. I uhh- I can’t remember but I did!” Felix chuckled at the boy. 

A little silence, Felix was quite sure Jisung had already passed out, but no;   
“Do you like it here? With us? Cause if you don’t, then I’m not happy we took you. But I’m happy since I got to know you, but ya know.” There was a little bit of worry laced in his voice, Felix could tell even through his drunken haze. For a moment, he had to think about it, but deep down he already knew the answer. Had he ever felt as free as today, sitting around the tavern table, laughing, smiling, just chilling with the crewmembers?   
“I do.” Despite all the feels of stress and anxiety, despite being scared to his very core for the first few days; “I really do.”   
“That’s great! Very, very great! Because I really really like you and you’re very nice. Really nice. Even though you’re tea pals with the king.” He sounded relieved. “I’m very glad we took you.”   
“I really, really like you too, Jisung” And with a little quieter voice he added: “I’m very glad you took me, too.” 

Suddenly the boy lifted his hand and stuck his pinky out.   
“Promise me that whatever happens, we’ll stick together and that if we get separated, you’ll never forget me. And that you will introduce me to the king and I will get to have tea with him. And that you’ll keep on liking it here and we’ll never get separated because I really like you and we all really like you.” The boy babbled.  
“You have known me for under a week.”   
“And?” 

Felix took the pinky in his own, was it the alcohol, he didn’t know, and he didn’t care.   
“I promise, but only if you’ll never forget me either.”   
“Okay, I promise too.” Jisung said, grinning, and after the pinky promise he nuzzled even closer.   
“Did you know that pinky promises hold magic to them?”  
“No, but I’m very sure that’s right.”   
“It is! Minho told me that!” Felix glanced at the boy sitting across the table, he was not paying attention to them, he was looking at the players in the corner. Felix was still quite sure he had heard what Jisung said, as the boy wasn’t talking that quietly. If Felix was being honest, he was a little surprised that Minho had actually come along with them and was now sitting around the same table and even taking part in the discussions. Jeongin had mentioned that he really didn’t like the guy, and as Felix could see from his seat, he kept on glancing at the boy who was sitting between Hyunjin and Chan. 

Minho was odd. One minute Felix forgot his presence, and the second he became hyperaware of it. Like he was always there, lurking in the shadows, but right now he was sitting around the same table, very much present and not in the shadows. Chan seemed to get along with the other deckboy just fine, and what Felix could see, Minho really didn’t talk to others that much, anyway. He was just… watching. Listening. Felix knew he was listening, somehow he could feel that. And he felt that Minho was aware of everything that was going on around him, even behind his back, even in the darkest corner of the noisy tavern. And the snake incident back in the souvenir shop? Odd. Kind of creepy. Well, the whole shop was creepy, but Minho just exuded that mysterious and nearly repulsive energy all the time. 

After a few minutes, Chan finally stood up.   
“I think it’s about time for us to head back to the ship, I doubt the night no longer has anything in store for us. This one’s on me.” How kind of the quartermaster! Though Felix was quite sure he had more gold than any of the people sitting around the table combined, so he really couldn’t feel sorry for the boy paying for them. 

But he did feel sorry about having drunk that much of that port wine. Jisung stumbled, nearly fell but braced himself against the table when he rose up (not before complaining of having to let go of Felix). Seungmin clung on to Hyunjin, and Felix? He couldn’t properly feel his legs. With wobbling feet, he rose up and adjusted his shirt. He tried to look as calm, as sober as possible, but by the looks of Jeongin chuckling at him, he did not succeed in his attempt. The boy skipped next to him and wiped something off Felix’s face.   
“Port wine leaves stains, next time you’ll know that.” Felix giggled. He couldn’t help it. 

Jeongin took Felix by the hand and following Jisung, who was now also clinging to Hyunjin, Seungmin and Minho they started walking towards the door. It wasn’t an easy task as the tavern was filled with people, so much they had to push through the crowd. If Felix hadn’t been this drunk, he probably would have been absolutely terrified to his very core amongst the rogues. Chan was already waiting at the door, and he most certainly did not look like he had just downed three jugs of beer during the past hours. He looked like he was completely fine, just a little more smiley than usually. 

And then someone tapped Felix on the shoulder. Felix turned around to face a man, a little ruddy, clearly in a strong state of intoxication. He had a beard, and his head was covered with a black bandana. And he was wearing… a light blue striped shirt? Felix was quite sure he had seen a similar one before.   
“Hey, you, boy!” The man swayed a little, he had a bottle of something Felix assumed that was rum in his hand. To be honest, he was quite delighted that someone had something to say to him (the wine was clearly talking).   
“You, yeah, you!” The man’s slurring speech was even worse than Jisung’s, Felix had a little hard time understanding what the man had to say. Jeongin was tugging on Felix’s hand.   
“Yes?” Felix asked, he couldn’t be rude now, could he? 

“Do I know you?” Did he?   
“I- I don’t know?” Jeongin tugged Felix’s hand a little more, motioning him to leave, like in a haste.   
“You look familiar! Aren’t you… from around here or something?” Ah, he must have mixed Felix up with someone, not surprising since Tortuga and the seas were probably full of orange-haired, eighteen-year old boys. Felix spotted a tattoo on the man’s wrist, nearly covered by his multiple bead bracelets. 

And then it dawned on him. Panic surged through his veins.  
“I- I- I don’t t-think you know me, must have… mixed up, I am notfromhere!” Felix took a step back, but the man took a step forward as well, following Felix. The other folks in the tavern really did not seem to care.   
“Nah, nah, I always remember a face, I know you from somewhere.”   
“I think I need to go-“ The sheer terror that shot down Felix’s spine cleared his thoughts from all of the drunken haziness. The man’s swaying looked a little dangerous, and then Felix realized he had one peg leg.  
“You! Aren’t you the boy from Nassau?” The walls started closing in on Felix, the man’s tone of talking suddenly turning to an angry one.   
“No- no, I’m no-“   
“Yes! You’re one of the red coats! The govern-“ 

“You don’t know him.” Minho pushed himself in between the man and Felix. Felix took a few steps back. The man looked puzzled, as if trying to understand what was happening and where had this boy in front of him appeared from. Jeongin squeezed Felix’s wrist.   
“I, I do know him! He, I swore-“   
“You. Do not. Know him.” Minho stared the man right in the eyes.   
“I. I. I do not know him.” He croaked. The man’s eyes seemed to cloud for a second, he dropped the bottle he had been holding. It shattered into little pieces, spilling the leftover rum all over the floor. 

“You have never seen this boy before.”   
“I have never seen this boy before.” The man repeated after Minho.   
“You will return to your seat and keep drinking.”   
“I will. I will return to my seat and keep drinking.” Minho motioned with his hand, and the man? He turned around and walked to his seat, took another bottle and took a swig from it. 

Felix stared at the boy in front of him, heart still pounding, palms sweating. Slowly realizing, how much of in danger he had been just mere seconds ago. And if Minho hadn’t noticed anything out of ordinary was going on, the man probably would have smashed that bottle on Felix’s head, he was certain of it. And Felix would have been lying on the ground, dead, right now. 

Jeongin tugged his arm again.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huhuhu, one of my fav chapters so far! i hope ya'll are liking it as much as i am! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning for drunk characters in the beginning.

If Tortuga had been calm in the afternoon, it most certainly wasn’t that anymore. As soon as Jeongin and Felix surpassed the door from the tavern to the street, someone to their left fired a gun. Felix nearly screamed, already on the edge and ready to flee the scene from what had just happened back in the tavern. Jeongin’s hand, clasped to Felix’s own, kept him from running and calmed him down a bit. Again. Just like every time Felix had been scared on the ship, this time wasn’t any different. His heart was pounding, senses heightened, it was a little hard to breathe, but the hand was soothing, made it all a little less horrible, a little less frightening. 

“What happened?” Chan questioned immediately, brows knitted together in concern. Felix couldn’t really tell the truth, could he? Or well, he could, but the others might not want to hear that… and there was a lot of explaining to do. And Felix didn’t want to bring up his father, even though the others didn’t agree on the captain’s opinion of him. Or well, that’s what Jisung had said, but was it true?   
“Who was that?” Hyunjin sounded just as worried.   
“U-uhh I don’t know, just some-“  
“Some drunk who tried to start a bar fight” Minho cut Felix off. Felix glanced at the boy standing next to him. Minho shot him a look that said I know your secrets. All of them. Felix swallowed a lump down from his throat.

“Ah, classic Tortuga.” Chan waved it off, he didn’t see anything weird in the situation. Hyunjin did, though, the doubtful look in his eyes gave that away.  
“Liar.” Jeongin whispered to Felix, the others didn’t hear it (Minho probably did). Felix gave him an apologetic look that promised to explain everything. He knew Jeongin would ask about it, he was keen on knowing everything, Felix had noticed that by now. Asking every little detail and remembering everything. Like a… like a mermaid from those tales as old as time. 

Felix pushed that thought away. Jisung sobered up a little after the chill outside air hit his face (or it was the gunshot). That meaning, he could walk by himself and Seungmin got Hyunjin all to himself (“Minnie’s faking it” Jeongin whispered to Felix, again). Minnie, how cute of a nickname. Jeongin liked nicknames, apparently, as he usually called Felix “Lix”. It was cute. It made Felix feel more comfortable. 

Felix was glad Jeongin was still holding on to his arm, as that one gunshot was not the only one blaring through the streets of Tortuga. And they weren’t even walking on the main street! There were people everywhere, most making their way somewhere, but some groups were still standing outside of pubs, inns, brothels. Occasionally someone recognized Chan and yelled something, usually something about the Euryale and Chan just waved at them. Felix kept his head low, he didn’t want anyone else recognizing him tonight. 

The darkness brought out more of actual Tortuga than Felix had imagined. This was the city from the late night stories he had heard of, Felix was now sure of it. The city wasn’t the same as the one that had bathed in the sunlight and hid its secrets, no, the secrets came out during the night. Even though Felix was still a little drunk, his eyes worked just fine. Men with missing eyeballs. Women with black streaks across their faces. Peg legs, hooks as hands, thrilling screaming coming from one of the open windows of one brothel they passed (Hyunjin seemed to halt for a fraction of a second). Whispers.

Clashing swords, blades shining in the moonlight, Felix took in a sharp breath, the sight looked the same as the clashes back in Nassau that night. He kept close to Jeongin, feeling uneasy. The torches and lanterns burning outside of pubs lit their way but did not reach the darkest corners of the street. Just as Felix had felt earlier, the city was hateful. Secretive. Mysterious, and it wanted to keep its mysteries to itself. Felix could feel eyes on him, eyes coming from the dark corners and alleyways. Someone giggled next to him as they passed one particularly dark and narrow alley. An alley Felix swore he had seen being lit up with torches just a moment ago. 

Felix glanced at Jeongin walking next to him and realized he wasn’t the only one feeling the cold shivers running down his spine. Jeongin had a death grip on his hand, he kept on looking behind him, alert. He was scared. Just as scared as Felix. Felix squeezed the boy’s hand in reassurance, just as Jeongin had done to him multiple times now. Somehow it made Felix feel a little better of himself. He wasn’t the only one afraid, he wasn’t the only one fearing the dark corners. He wasn’t alone. 

The moonlight showed them the way back to the pier. Chan and Minho were chatting, Jisung butted in making loud comments about whatever was the topic at hand. The marketplace in front of the docks was now empty, there were no seagulls screeching, just the rippling of little waves against the pier poles. It would have been silent if it weren’t for the noises coming from the city behind their backs. And the footsteps. Felix glanced behind him but saw no one. 

The tapping of their feet against the dock planks eased the atmosphere a little bit. Jeongin loosened his grip a little but didn’t still let go, so Felix did the same. The sails of the huge ships cast shadows on the docks, but the shadows weren’t hateful anymore. Felix could see some night guards standing on the decks of their ships, some even waved at their little group passing by. Friendly. Felix also noticed that most of the gangways to other ships had been taken down, the planks nowhere to be seen. Just to be safe. 

And so had been theirs.  
“Oh, nightguard!” Chan sing-songed and soon enough, the nightguard Felix recognized as Raul let the plank down.   
“Evening, gentlemen! How was the ol’ city?”   
“Same old, same old, pretty and dangerous as ever.” Chan answered light-heartedly. Felix felt immediately comfort in the little swaying on the ship as he stepped on the wooden decks of Euryale, even though he knew he would have to get used to the swaying again. A landlubber thing. 

“How about you, Felix? First pirate city ye ever been in?” Raul was smiling, but there was something off about it. Like he was being friendly, but still concerned about something.   
“Yes, quite an experience.” Felix cracked a little smile. The other man didn’t seem so terrifying anymore. Something sounding like a sob came from behind Raul’s back, breaking the sleepy atmosphere hanging over the docks.   
“Sangyeon?” Chan was already in move. 

Sure enough, there he was, head low and drooping, sitting on one of the steps leading to quarter deck, next to the door to the kitchens. Changbin was sitting next to him, patting his back in order to comfort the other pirate. Who was crying. Sobbing, and trying to stop it desperately (was it shame of being seen crying?), wiping the tears from his face.   
“Hey, hey, what’s going on? What happened?” Chan squatted down next to Sangyeon, Changbin pulled back a little. 

It wasn’t a hard guess, not even for Felix who had only talked to Sangyeon thrice while on the ship.   
“M-my dad.” Sangyeon sniffled, voice cracking; “he’s gone.”   
Chan wrapped his arms around the bosun who immediately answered to the hug, finally letting go of all of the desperate tries to not to cry. Sangyeon sobbed into Chan’s shirt, shoulders trembling, fingers grabbing the fabric. Chan was clearly close to the boy, for a moment Felix wondered how long the two had been sailing together. Or perhaps Chan was just extremely kind and understanding that everyone trusted him to simply cry like that against his shoulder.

Suddenly Felix felt shame in watching the clearly sensitive moment unfolding in front of his eyes and he turned away. Jeongin let go of Felix’s hand at last. He walked up to Sangyeon and hugged him from the other side, and Sangyeon wrapped his other arm around the younger boy as well. Felix knew what the boy was doing, Sangyeon’s sobs eased down a bit. A little hug. Just to ease the pain. 

Felix felt sorry for the bosun. His heart ached; he couldn’t imagine what Sangyeon was going through. Or well, he could, he had lost some close relatives himself a few years back himself, but every person felt pain in their own ways and Felix possibly couldn’t feel the same things Sangyeon did. He turned to look at Hyunjin, who looked at the bosun a little helplessly arms full of Seungmin, who wasn’t exactly sure what was going on due to his state of drunkenness, mumbling something incoherent and nearly inaudible. Jisung wobbled next to him, eyes half closed, looking dangerously close to passing out. 

Hyunjin eyed at Felix and nodded at the direction of the forecastle. Felix understood what he meant and took Jisung by his waist and swung the boy’s right arm around his neck, just to be safe if his legs didn’t work as they were supposed to.   
“Mmwhere are we going? Lixieee!” Jisung slurred. Felix was quite sure his state of mind was more of sleepiness than alcohol by now.   
“To sleep, Jisung dear.”   
“But the night is still young!”   
“The sun is rising in two hours, so I don’t really know about that.” Felix wasn’t entirely sure of the time, but he had a hunch. 

Hyunjin had his arm wrapped around Seungmin, who was getting sleepy as well, tugging the other boy’s shirt, a little bashful (cute). Felix took a final glance at the four people sitting on the stairs, three of them comforting crying Sangyeon, just to notice Changbin looking at him. With those stormy eyes, deeper than the ocean, darker than the shadows of Tortuga. Felix swallowed, perhaps a little nervous by the sudden attention and pulled Jisung along without saying another word.

*** 

Felix groaned as someone next to him shifted in their sleep, kicking him in the shin accidentally. His limbs felt like jelly, but luckily, the port wine had not given him a headache. Felix opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling above him. He certainly did not feel like moving. Getting Jisung to his own bed had been an experience as the boy had desperately wanted Felix to stay with him as it was “really really cold Felix please” and then the boy had just straight up blacked out, in the middle of his pleading. No warnings, he had just fallen asleep. And definitely not enough space for Felix, so the boy had decided to stay the night in Jeongin’s bed again. 

Jeongin was snoring lightly next to Felix. Felix had fallen asleep before the other boy had returned from the deck, but Felix guessed it had taken quite a long time. He didn’t dare to wake the other boy up as he slowly stood up and pulled his shoes on. Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen, neither was Seungmin. Or any others, really. Some other crewmembers were still sleeping in their own beds. Would Felix perhaps finally get his own tonight? Not that sleeping next to Jeongin was awful, it was, in fact, quite nice due to the warmth and closure and Felix not feeling alone, but he was more used to sleeping in his own bed, without anyone kicking him in the shin or nearly suffocating him by accidentally rolling over him. 

Felix shuffled to the door, pulled it open and was met with a light breeze of the coast wind. As expected, they were still tied to the docks. Felix walked to the deck, the wind trifled his hair. Tortuga was bathing in sunlight again, occasional clouds here and there drifting over the sun every now and then. The nightly horrors nowhere to be seen. The docks were full of life, a few crews were seemingly packing their stuff to their ships, getting ready to sail away. There was still no trace of the Euryale’s crew anywhere, so Felix assumed it was still quite early in the morning. Maybe nine-ish. They weren’t supposed to leave until the afternoon. 

“Morning!” Hyunjin walked up to Felix who was leaning against the bannister.   
“Morning.” Felix’s voice had some roughness of the morning in it. He was a little surprised to see Hyunjin awake already.   
“Jeongin’s still sleeping?”   
“Yeah. Jisung’s too.”   
“Not surprising, he has the worst tolerance for alcohol. And I bet he’s going to complain the rest of the day of his head hurting and promise he’s never going to drink again.” Felix chuckled lightly, he wasn’t the least bit surprised. The last night’s events returned to his mind again. The whole bar thing, and then Sangyeon.  
“How’s Sangyeon?” Felix asked, a little more quietly. Hyunjin shrugged.   
“Haven’t seen him. I hope he’s better. I know he and his father weren’t that close since they barely saw each other, both pirates and so on, but he always spoke of him nicely.” Felix nodded.   
“How about Seungmin?” 

And blush dusted over Hyunjin’s cheeks, deepened his ears to the shade of a tomato in a few seconds.   
“What about him?” Felix couldn’t help but giggle. Adorable.   
“You disappeared with him after I got Jisung to bed.” Hyunjin scratched the back of his neck, trying to hide the little smile on his face.   
“Well, nothing happened.”   
“Nothing?”   
“Yes.” 

Felix raised his eyebrow, looking at the boy unamused, but with a little quirk in the corner of his lips. Hyunjin’s black locks fell over his eyes a little, framing his face beautifully. Of course. Like a halo.   
“Nothing.” Felix repeated after Hyunjin.  
“Well...”   
“Go on.” Felix leaned better against the bannister. He could hear the waves crashing against the shoreline further away, birds singing in the trees (finally some other birds than seagulls).   
“Well, uhh” the blush on Hyunjin’s face deepened; “we went to a little sight-seeing tour on the forecastle and after that, he may or may not have insisted on me sleeping next to him on his bed which I couldn’t refuse, and then he snuggled close to me all night.”   
“And?” 

“And.” Hyunjin sighed, the smile washing off a little, “he woke up before me, and when I woke up, he was furiously banging pots and pans in the kitchen and now he refuses to talk to me.” Hyunjin pouted.   
“Oh no.”  
“Oh no indeed. And it’s not the first time this has happened, he’s… usually like that. It was a little better when his mom was still alive but nowadays it’s just… pushing and pulling and pushing and pulling…” Hyunjin trailed off. Felix frowned at his words.   
“I think I said a little too much.” The boy added hurriedly.   
“Jeongin told me a few days ago.”  
“So you know about his mom?”   
“I mean, not the whole thing but I heard she passed away.”   
“Yeah. I don’t know, I just feel like ever since Seungmin has been even more on the edge and pushing me and everyone else away.” Hyunjin bit his lip and stared at the city in front of them. There were people gathering on the marketplace already. Felix could see it, the sadness in Seungmin’s eyes. It was evident, he could see it every time he looked the red-head in the eyes. 

“Have you spoken to him about it? Like the whole pushing and pulling-thing?”   
“Not really. I’m… really not that good at talking when he’s around… you know…” Felix gave Hyunjin a crooked smile. Yeah, he knew.   
“Maybe you should at least try? Seungmin seems like the kind of guy that would listen, you just need to open your mouth and tell him about your feelings. He may not understand it first but he’s smart, he will eventually.” Hyunjin nodded.   
“And if that won’t help, tell Jeongin. He seems to be the psychic out of all of you.” Felix would have not expected a week ago to be a relationship counselor to some young pirate with a heartache, but here he was, and he wasn’t even experienced with any sort of things concerning relationships. He wasn’t really qualified for this. 

Hyunjin’s lips stretched to a little smile, eyes turning to crescents.   
“Yeah, I’ll do that. But not right now, he looked like he wanted to throw a frying pan at my face when I went to the kitchen a while ago.” Felix chuckled at the thought of furious Seungmin with his frying pans.   
“Thanks, Felix.”   
“No problem, it’s the least I can do as you friend.”   
“As my friend?” The smile turned to a grin. Felix paused for a second, thought of what he had just said.   
“Yeah. As my friend.” 

***

“I am going to die.”  
“No you are not.”  
“No I swear, my skull is splitting in half.”  
“Prolly should have thought of that when you were downing that port wine yesterday.”  
“Bold of you to assume he ever thinks.”  
“Hey! Watch it or I’ll navigate us to Mermaid Bay next time! And that port wine was hella good and you all should be glad I didn’t drink rum!” 

Felix snorted at Jisung, who was laying in the sunlight, holding a wet rag over his eyes. His head was resting on Hyunjin’s thigh, whose head was resting on Felix’s thigh in turn. Jeongin was sitting next to Felix, Seungmin on his other side. They were sitting on the poop deck, leaning against the rear ornament. The wooden decoration gave them a nice shade to sit underneath, saving the three of them from the scorching sunlight. 

Jisung was hungover, as expected, but had insisted on not staying in bed for today. Seungmin had made a little breakfast for them after Jeongin had also woken up, and Felix had never been so excited over some basic oranges and apples and freshly baked bread. Right now, they were sitting away from all of the bustle happening on main deck as the crewmembers were dragging huge sacks and boxes full of god-knows-what to the storage deck. Food, gunpowder, more food, water, rum… everything. Everything they would need for a few weeks of sailing. 

Felix had no idea where they would head to next, but neither had the other boys sitting around them. He could hear Chan yelling directions from the main deck, occasionally someone asked where to put this and that. Felix was quite glad he didn’t have to be one of the people dragging the heavy sacks around the decks as his blister from a few days earlier still hadn’t completely healed. 

The air was a little tense. Not between all of them, but between Seungmin and Hyunjin. Jisung wasn’t the least bit bothered by it, though, but that was really not a surprise.   
“How was Sangyeon?” Jeongin quietly asked Seungmin.   
“A little better. Give it two days and he’ll be smiling on the helm as usual.” Seungmin’s red hair fell over his eyes a little, but the boy didn’t seem to be bothered by it.  
“That’s good.”  
“Yeah.” 

Felix felt a little sorry for Seungmin. The boy most likely knew exactly what Sangyeon was facing right now, and that probably brought back some very excruciating memories. Excruciating, yet cherished. It made Felix think of his own mother, and a sharp spike of longing speared him for a second. He really did miss her. Mostly, because he didn’t know if she was alright, if she was even still alive. Nor did he know about his father, but Felix could have honestly cared less about him. He could have burned down with the city, at least Felix would never have to see him again. It was kind of funny, how being away from him had really brought Felix’s true feelings towards his father into light. Back in Nassau he had tolerated him, sure, always did what he told him to, but had there been love in it for the past five years anymore? Felix wasn’t entirely sure. Charles Lee had always made sure to remind Felix how he wasn’t the perfect son and how everyone else’s sons were better. He had always reminded him of his place and not to talk back at him, and now Felix was finally realizing how much… happier he was when he wasn’t around. And it had only been a week. Six days, to be exact, and during those six days Felix had faced his worst nightmares twice. And he had also realized they had been nothing but nightmares, and nightmares were usually a little overboard and illogical, weren’t they? Far from reality.

“And here we have some good ol’ pirates slacking from their job.” Changbin’s voice woke Felix from his thoughts, and so did everyone else, apparently.   
“It’s not slacking if we don’t have a job.” Jisung croaked from the floor level.   
“Your job is to be a pirate and help your crew.” Changbin slid down the ornament to sit next to Seungmin, away from the sun as well. Jisung tried to throw the wet rag at him but missed by a foot.   
“Yet somehow you’re also sitting here with us, slacking from your job.”   
“I wasn’t assigned a job.”   
“See? Your logic sucks, mate.” 

Changbin stuck his tongue out at Jisung who couldn’t see it. Felix pressed his head against the ornament and closed his eyes for a while. Oh yeah, that thing that happened yesterday. Felix felt his cheeks burning a little. He was still unsure whether Changbin actually hated him or not, or what the hell had that been all about. Now that Felix’s head was cleared, and he was sober, he could rationalize that maybe the boy did not hate him to the guts. Maybe slightly disliked, otherwise he wouldn’t be spending time with them right now. That had to be it. Yeah. Felix could not really blame him, could he? After all, he was a Seo. The captain’s son. But a dislike could be turned to a non-dislike, right? He could perhaps be friends with the boy at some point, since he seemed to be very good friends with the rest of the crew, meaning he was also very good friends with Felix’s friends. So he could be friends with him at some point, right? They couldn’t hate each other to the end, right? Or at least Felix couldn’t. He didn’t even dislike Changbin. He was actually quite curious of him. 

“Do we have a next heading?” Seungmin asked, clearly from Changbin.   
“Mmhm.” The boy sitting to his left mumbled.   
“Is that a ‘yes’?”   
“Mmhm.” Seungmin rolled his eyes at him;   
“Finally! I hope it doesn’t include kidnapping little boys from some faraway islands.” Felix opened his eyes to look at Seungmin, pretending to be theatrically shocked by the cook’s words. Seungmin gave him a mischievous smile, he wasn’t being serious.   
“I hope not, god knows how long my father even planned that. I heard a little rumor that our next heading has something to do with the coast of Cuba.” So Felix’s kidnapping had taken a long time to plan? Good. At least they didn’t just snatch him without a second thought. 

“Isn’t that the place where there are more storms than in the rest of the Caribbean?” Hyunjin adjusted his head to a better position. Changbin shrugged.   
“Something like that.”   
“And there’s the Sharkbone Island!” Jeongin butted in.   
“Sharkbone Island?” Felix questioned. He had a tiny hunch he had heard that name before.   
“Oh, you know. The seas surrounding it are filled with sharks. And the tale tells that there is an old treasure hidden in the island, but it’s quite big and also mostly jungle so there’s no really finding it, unless we find a map.” Ah. Sharkbone Island. Sensible. Sharks and bones and treasures. Very pirate-y.   
“The map of the Queen!” Jisung exclaimed. 

Felix thought about it for a second;   
“Which queen?”   
“What do you mean which queen?” Jisung moved his bandana to cover his eyes to protect his sight from the sunlight. Felix didn’t quite understand how he wanted to bask in the sunlight while he was hangover.   
“There are quite many queens in this world, which one has hidden a treasure on some puny island? Was it the queen of England? Or the queen of Spain? Or the queen of Portugal? Or perhaps some pirate queen?” Felix really doubted Queen Elizabeth or Queen Mary the Second had nothing to do with the treasure.  
“You can’t ask questions that hard, I’m only a pirate!” Jisung defended himself; “It’s just called the Map of the Queen and that’s all I know!” 

“Maybe it’s the Queen Anne!” Jeongin exclaimed.  
“Perhaps the reigning Queen of England has some secrets hidden in her skirt indeed.” Felix giggled at Jeongin. He was quite surprised the boy knew that much about anything related to the empire. Or maybe Felix was being a little too close-minded, after all, pirates traveled around a lot and visited many places, so naturally they would hear something about what was happening in the aristocratic Europe. After all, that was all socialites ever talked about, Felix had firsthand experience of that.   
“Maybe there’s gold from the British vaults! The secrets of the empire!”   
“Hundreds of gold coins!”   
“Diamonds, maybe even a crown! Or two!”   
“Or another map for another adventure!”   
“I bet on the lost tiara of Queen Mary.” Felix joined the little banter.   
“She lost her tiara?”   
“That’s what the old tale tells.” 

Felix liked this. He liked the atmosphere. He liked the fact that Hyunjin was practically dozing off, head on Felix’s thigh, relaxed. The warmth of Jeongin sitting next to him, the way he could hear it from his voice how the boy was smiling. Felix didn’t even have to look at him. The fact that Seungmin was joking around, freely, and no longer shooting daggers through Hyunjin’s head (even though they still were awkward with each other). 

He liked the warmth of the deck, the sun against his skin, the birds singing in the shores. The racket coming from the streets of Tortuga that carried over the water to their ship. The seagulls, the yelling coming from the lower deck. The feeling Felix had in his gut. A little apprehensive anticipation. At the same time so exciting, yet scary. Felix wanted to see what the seas had in store for him, but he was afraid. Afraid of what? Everything. But he was getting tired of being afraid of everything. He just wanted to relax, forget about everything he had ever been taught about pirates and the seas and to just enjoy while sailing to the vast, open sea. Maybe one day. Maybe one day. 

“Come on, ye little scoundrels! The rum isn’t taking itself to the hull!” 

*** 

“What the hell was that all about yesterday?” Jeongin dropped down to sit next to Felix. They had finally got everything done, all of the sacks and wooden boxes and piles and stacks of food and rum and water and gunpowder and cannonballs and clothing and more food and even more food and rum and water were hidden in their own storages in the hold. Felix’s arms, shoulders and legs were aching from all of the carrying and running up and down the stairs. 

They were sitting on the bannister of the quarter deck, alone. Chan had told Hyunjin and Jisung to go get something important from the city a while ago, Seungmin was in the kitchen, again. Changbin had disappeared as soon as he had got the last box dragged down to the hull (not that Felix had been really been paying attention, but he had almost bumped into him at least thrice in the stairs and Changbin had looked like he wanted to murder Felix on the spot, which was, terrifying to say the least). As for the rest of the crew, pretty much everyone was already on the ship, resting, sleeping away the hangover before the evening’s sailing. 

The sun was at its’ highest point, Felix wiped sweat from his forehead to his shirt. Hot. Too hot. Thank god there was proper wind out in the open, right now the peaceful bay had nothing but a light zephyr.   
“What was what?” Felix played dumb. He really didn’t want to talk about it.   
“The man. He recognized you. Why would an old pirate recognize you of all people in a little tavern in Tortuga?” 

Felix sighed and swept the fallen orange strands of hair from his face.   
“I recognized him too.” Felix confessed; “I have no memory of what his name was… is. I thought he was dead.” Jeongin looked at Felix a little confused, nodded at him to continue.   
“A few years ago, me and my friend Eric wandered to a little bar in Nassau. We were trying to be discreet since basically everyone knew who we were, but either the people in the bar recognized us but didn’t give us away or just didn’t care, or they didn’t recognize us at all. Or they didn’t kick us out because the owner is a friend of Eric’s father. Anyway. There was this loud group of people, they were talking about sailing and I was so fascinated that we moved to sit to the table next to them and uh…” Did he really need to tell this?

“After a while we… We realized they were pirates. At least most of them. And me… being only ever told horror stories about rouges of the seven seas, ran to my father as quick as I could, and my father took his armed men and arrested the pirates. All of them. And I think the man also knew who my father was.” Felix knew Jeongin would understand, but he still felt uneasy.   
“The men were sentenced to be hanged by the neck the next week. I was in the hearing, too. The man who was at the tavern, I think he was some sort of a captain or something, at least high in rank. He swore as his last words that he would kill me because he knew it was I who snitched him, and then he would kill my father. And then, during the next night he escaped. My father’s men caught him again, or that’s what we were told, but apparently, they didn’t. They hung someone that looked like him. And that’s how I know him.” 

“Ahh.” Jeongin simply nodded. Felix’s father had sentenced pirates to be hanged by the neck. Felix was the reason some pirates had lost their lives, the ones that hadn’t escaped. Jeongin was a pirate. Felix bit the inner skin of his lip as Jeongin leaned back against one of the shrouds holding the mizzenmast.   
“The anger was well deserved.” Felix said. He felt ashamed. And he most certainly didn’t want Jeongin to think Felix would do that anymore. At least not to his friends.  
“You think so?” Felix looked at Jeongin, finally. The boy’s irises were a slightly deeper tone of purple.   
“You don’t?”   
“He did threaten to kill you. And I don’t doubt for a second he wouldn’t have done that in the tavern unless Minho hadn’t stepped in.” Jeongin’s tone of speech was calm. He didn’t sound accusative. 

He knew. He understood.   
“You’re wondering whether you would do the same now, aren’t you? If you would run to your father now that you have spent time with pirates, befriended some of us. If you would snitch us and sentence us to death.” Felix swallowed. He admired the way Jeongin knew how to fish out even the deepest of his thoughts with nothing but a gaze.   
“You’re wondering if we are all the same, and if you’re part of us now. And that scares you, doesn’t it? You’re wondering whether someone would sentence you to be hanged by the neck as well, as one of the pirates.” Felix nodded. Exactly. 

“Would you still do it, Felix? Hang someone by the neck for being a pirate. A pirate, who only has a claim that he is a rogue of the seven seas, but you have no knowledge of their background. No information of where they come from, if they have children, family, if they are loved and cherished among their crew. No information whether they have actually ever killed anyone, if they’re a good person despite being a pirate. Would you still do it?”

Would he? For his community, just to get rid of pirates, pirates who he didn’t know anything about apart from stories that were one-sided. Always one-sided, always heard from his father or his teachers. Stories. Not facts.   
“No.”  
“Then that is your answer to the rest of your questions.” 

Jeongin had a little smile playing on his lips now that Felix finally dared to look at the younger boy. He reached out to ruffle Felix’s orange locks.   
“You’ll know freedom on one of these days, I’m sure of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)   
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	12. 12

“Evening, fellow carousers and corsairs.” Captain Seo stood tall on the quarter deck in front of the helm, peering down at the crew. His rings and necklaces glimmered in the sunlight, the handle of his sword shining. He looked a little less scary now that Felix was standing in the back and basically hiding himself behind Hyunjin’s shoulder, far away from the captain. Chan was standing beside Captain Seo, leaning against the handrail. The wind swept his black curls away from his face. Changbin stood on the other side of the captain, arms crossed over his chest, looking down at the crowd as well. For a second Felix wondered how the captain’s hat didn’t fly off in the wind. 

They had left the port a little after Hyunjin and Jisung had arrived back in the ship. Scylla had also weighed the anchor and sailed to the open vast a little before the Euryale. Felix had finally got to do something useful, he had climbed with Jisung up to the mizzenmast to open the knots around the sails and once down helped to tie them in the booms. Like a real sailor. Now they were sailing towards the unknown with full sails. Excitement stirred at the bottom of Felix’s guts, the shadows of Tortuga long gone from his mind, but not forgotten. Jeongin was sitting on the bannister next to him, Jisung was clinging to the shrouds. Felix could see Seungmin and Raul standing near the kitchen door, the red-haired boy had his apron on, ready to cook dinner for the crew. 

“I hope the lovely city of Tortuga treated you with kindness and consideration. I hope your bellies are full and you have let yourselves relax and get ready for our next heading.” The captain’s speech emitted some murmurs of agreement from the crew. Relaxation in Tortuga? Felix wasn’t sure such thing even existed. Or maybe it did, if you were a horrendous pirate and the city was more afraid of you than you were afraid of the city. Then again, Felix had felt some sort of relaxation back in the tavern.

Felix admired it somehow, how the crew was so silent and obeying under the captain’s command. Usually, from what Felix had seen, they were rowdy, not paying much attention to the others and nearly disrespectful, cutting off when someone was speaking and sometimes being just straight up rude. Impolite. But not to the captain, naturally. Now they were all silent, only answering when asked to.  
“My fellow pirates… Have you heard of the tale of the Spanish treasure fleet? The beautiful ships of La Flota and Los Galeones?” The murmur got a little louder, someone clearly recognized the names. 

So did Felix. Oh, had he heard of them. Even seen one of the Los Galeones. One of those huge, gorgeous, bone-white ships that sailed from the Gulf of Mexico all the way to Spain every year. His father had told him quite a bit of the treasure fleet.  
“Ships full of treasures you can only dream of. Tons of gold bars, silver, barrels full of money, diamonds and jewels.” The murmur got louder. Anticipation filled the air. The captain’s voice was… intoxicating. It took Felix with it. He could imagine them, barrels of gold, jewels glimmering in the hulls of those gorgeous galleons. The gold bars, stacked on top of one another, brought from faraway lands of the West India. 

“Lads. We are going to take them.” The captain’s declaration made the crew erupt to cheers, shouting, yelling. Jeongin and Hyunjin clapped their hands so Felix followed along. He didn’t want to stand out. Felix could see Chan smiling, but Changbin remained emotionless, stoic. With those stormy eyes. 

“Too long have you been sitting on your asses doing nothing on these decks. Too long have we sailed without a proper destination. Too long have we attacked nothing but little brigantines with no gold in their hulls. But now, my dear crew, we have a destination.” The captain pulled a what seemed like a hollow tube from inside of his coat. Felix realized it was parchment as the captain let the tube roll open.  
“Lads, this is the detailed map of the Gulf of Mexico, which is our next heading. As some of you know, I met up with the captain of Scylla and the captain of Indigo while you all were feasting in Tortuga. Four ships will join us during this heist, as there are five ships in Los Galeones. One ship for each crew. Along with Scylla and Indigo, we will be joined by Andromeda and La Concepción. As you know, Andromeda is led by Captain Solier and they have been mostly raiding the Mediterranean for the past years. As for La Concepción, you have met them, the captain is an old friend of mine, Capitana Julia. 

“Ain’t Scylla sailing under the English flag?” Someone from the crowd yelled. That’s exactly what Felix had been wondering, too.  
“Captain Kai no longer sails underneath the crown.” Captain Seo briefly looked at Felix, a little quirk in the corner of his mouth; “He has abandoned the empire and sails on his own now. Their crew is ferocious, from what I have heard.” Ah. Well, that explained everything.  
“Ain’t Medusa joining us?” Another question from a lady.  
“My brother is going after La Flota and won’t be meeting up with us.”  
“Aye, cap.” The lady answered, Felix nearly sighed in relief. At least he wouldn’t have to meet the other Seo. 

“Our plan is to meet the four ships joining us in a remote island close to Cayman Islands. There’s a little harbor in Rum Point made for pirates like us and the little town has a few hundred residents. Tortuga, but a lot smaller.” The captain began explaining their upcoming journey in detail;  
“We’ll be sailing from Tortuga to Rum Point for a week with a speed of five knots. We could go faster, but there’s no point in waiting for Andromeda and La Concepción in the harbor for days as they won’t be reaching Rum Point before that. Scylla left already to go tell them about the plan. Once in Rum Point, we’ll make a more detailed plan on the attack, but as of now I know we will be meeting Los Galeones before they reach Havana.” 

Attack. So Felix would have to fight. He’d have to face good sailors from the Spanish fleet and in the worst situation of them all, kill some of them. If he had to. But he wouldn’t do that unless he absolutely needed to. It wasn’t like the Spanish weren’t the enemies of the empire anyway, but still… they were people. Sailors with families. Just as Jeongin had said. What made sailors and pirates even differ so much? Or was the only difference that the other sailed under the flag and the other didn’t? 

“The waters between Jamaica and Cuba are known to be dangerous not only for ships carrying cargo and passing by under the European flags but for pirates as well. Take the warnings about sea creatures and other rumors seriously. If you see or hear anything, report to the bosun or quartermaster.” Chan nodded at the captain. Captain Seo wrapped the map up again and tied the little silk ribbon around it.  
“As of the upcoming sailing… sharpen and polish your swords and knives. Clean the cannons, make sure they work. Check the guns, too. And get ready for a battle, for Los Galeones are known to be tough and vicious, but so are we!” 

The crew cheered again. And again. And again. Clapping, yelling, whistling. They were clearly excited for the upcoming heist. Felix wasn’t, he could feel his stomach twisting and turning. Sailing was just fine, yes, he could do that, but actually having to attack and fight… not his thing. Even if he could use swords perfectly fine and probably would survive the battle since his father, and the teacher he had hired, had been keen on teaching Felix everything about swords in case of an attack, but still, he had never ever killed anyone, and he really wasn’t planning on changing that. Maybe he could just… protect something during the heist and stay in their ship. And would the captain even let him attack the other ship, if he was that damn important in the first place? Since they couldn’t kill him in case his father decided to catch up on them and demand him back (which Felix really doubted). 

The captain nodded at Chan, gave him the map and turned his back to the crew with a final wave. He had done his job, the crew was thrilled and excited, and now it was his time to do his… captain things. Changbin walked back to the captain’s quarters with the captain. Chan took the lead in turn;  
“You heard the cap! Steady flow to the west, keep the foresail tied. Wind is on our side for the last hours of the day, we’ll be going three knots during the night. Tomorrow we’ll check the guns and blades. As for the rest of the day, the hull needs still some organizing so those who were missing earlier from carrying the cargo down, go to the storage deck. Rest of you… Do what you want. Chop chop!” 

The crew started moving, around ten people disappearing underneath the main deck to help with the hold.  
“Jisung!” Chan yelled from the quarter deck, and Jisung quickly dropped himself from the shrouds to the deck and scuttled over to the quartermaster. Felix assumed it had something to do with the map as Jisung was known to be a great charter. 

“Does the captain ever actually… do anything?” Felix turned towards Jeongin.  
“What do you mean by ‘anything’?” Jeongin raised his eyebrow.  
“Like sailing. I’ve never seen him on the helm or looking at the maps with anyone. Or joining the crew during the evening or what-so-ever.”  
“Uhh… not really. I mean, if I had a chilly little room on a pirate ship I’d probably look at the maps there rather than out in the scorching sun.”  
“And the crew thinks that’s fair?”  
“Yeah. I mean, he’s the captain, he owns this ship and has gathered us all together to sail underneath his flag. Not any fairer than Chan and Changbin having their own quarters as Chan does so much work and Changbin… well, uh, he’s probably the next captain.” 

Felix nodded. Guess it made sense. It was just a little odd that he seemed to never do anything except announce next headings and give orders to Chan, who in turn gave them to the crew.  
“Do any basic crewmembers ever talk to him?”  
“Sometimes. Every once in a while he comes to play some board games or to drink with us. He’s not a bad captain, just a little distant. Not that I’d know any better, I’ve never sailed with anyone else.” Felix nodded again. Boardgames with Captain Seo. Sounded like a lovely evening! Felix hoped he’d never have to join that, at least not as one of the players.

*** 

Felix had finally got his own bed a few nights ago, the day after they sailed off from Tortuga. Or more specifically, he had got a mattress, an old pillow that smelled like sheep, and a blanket. It was certainly good enough for him, though it did not compare to his huge three-mattress bed back at home. But it was good, and Felix slept well in it. Better than next to Jeongin, who had a habit of rolling over every five minutes. Felix’s mattress was next to Jisung’s bunk as there was no enough place next to Jeongin’s. On Felix’s other side on another mattress slept Max, a big man with huge muscles and thick eyebrows. And a billion-pound smile. He was nice, he had introduced himself to Felix with the kindest manner and then they had chatted a little bit over everything. So, nice. Cool. Not threatening, surprisingly. 

Now Felix was staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep, the even breaths of Max and Jisung didn’t lull him to sleep as they had done the previous days. Felix knew the reason – he wasn’t as tired as he had been during the first week. He was finally getting the hang of everything, he remembered which shrouds to pull open and tie to the posts, which sails had to be open when the wind blew from starboard side of the ship, which places were the easiest ones to climb up to the masts. He still wasn’t as quick as Jisung or Hyunjin, but he was getting better every day. His feet and arms didn’t ache as much and most of his bruises had healed, his wrist and cheek included. It may have had something to do with Jeongin’s ointment that smelled like mint and some leaves Felix couldn’t remember the name of. 

He had also learned quite a bit of his friends. Jisung wasn’t the first pirate of his family as his father had been one, and most probably his father’s father had been one as well. He was also a great swimmer (which wasn’t really a surprise) and had a habit of scrunching his nose every time he laughed too much. And his way of facing difficult things was humor. Not that there had been any difficulties, really, but every time Felix had asked a question and Jisung didn’t know the answer to (mostly the ‘why’-questions), he made a joke out of it. And as much as it humored Felix, it was still a little irritating that he still didn’t know why the sails were white and not some other color or why the background of the flag was black and not for example, red. 

But Jisung was great overall, Felix was happy to call him his friend. His optimism was needed and when Felix found himself thinking too much about his mother, Jisung knew immediately how to cheer him up. It wasn’t hard to cheer Felix up, though, as it really only needed distracting him from his thoughts, but Jisung knew what to do, and his stories of some remote islands with treasures and the battle of Singapore were always so nice to listen to. Felix hadn’t even known about this battle before, but according to the rest of the crew, it was very true, and the captain had almost lost his life there. Battle of Singapore, didn’t that sound exciting! (And horrifying!)

Hyunjin reminded Felix of Eric. In many ways. They both had a habit of acting first and thinking second. And, as Felix could still recall, Eric had also had that smile brighter than the sun and a way of getting what he wanted from people, even if they were hesitant. Hyunjin and Eric also shared similar ways of looking at the world, loving sunsets, paying attention to the details and being a little skeptical of everything new, apart from meeting new people. Felix remembered it, of course he did, how the allegedly half-siren had sat down in front of his little cell and broken Felix’s silent façade. Felix was happy it had been Hyunjin, he was quite sure that Jisung as his first touch to the world of pirates in a friendly sort of way would have went a whole lot differently and made Felix freak out even more, as the boy was a little… eccentric at times. Hyunjin had also a habit of humming when he was focused on something, whether it was climbing up the shrouds or cleaning the cannons. 

Yeah, they had been cleaning the cannons for the past days, and sharpening knives and swords. Felix had also got himself a knife, just a basic one with no any kind of decorations. It was sharp and easy to cut knots open with. He had also got himself a sash where he kept the knife, tucked to his hip in a little leathery holster, always close. The sash was dark violet, it matched his lavender shirt just beautifully. It was kind of nice that his clothes were anything but royal blue or red as he associated those colors so strongly with his home. There had been soldiers with red coats every day, Felix had seen them walking up and down the main street from the window of his room. And his father had always dressed in red as well, and occasionally in deep shades of blue. So, violet was just great for him. And he didn’t even stand out! One of the pirates, who Felix now knew went with the name ‘Bambam’ dressed always in bright colors and he had tons of golden jewelry always on. Felix had questioned Jisung about it as he had been told that only pirates in high positions were allowed to dress that flamboyantly, but apparently Bambam was an exception because he was an exceptionally great swordsman. 

Bambam wasn’t the only new acquaintance Felix had got during the past days. Brian was great at sewing, and he was from England. Jae had boarded the ship in Singapore after the battle, so had Lisa and Johnny. Lisa and Johnny had been sailing together for years and were basically best friends, always bickering with each other. Lyanna was an old lady nearly hitting her sixties, but her head was bright as ever. She was banished from ever entering England again as she had once worked for the royal family themselves but betrayed them as she had sold information to the Spanish about the plans of England conquering the West India from the Spaniards. 

Mark was only a few years older than Felix, and him and Jisung shared similar backgrounds. Jackson was funny and acted like Felix had always been part of the crew. He was also a rather new pirate, having left the Spanish fleet a few years back and turned to piracy. “It didn’t cost well”, he had explained to Felix. Knucklehead, Boom, Yunho, Irene, Jia and One-eyed Jackson, differing from the young Jackson, had also introduced themselves to Felix. As for the rest of the crew, some twenty-ish people, Felix had heard some names, but they kept to themselves. Mainly older folk, older pirates, those who had been sailing with Captain Seo from the start. One of them had no fingers. And one of them had no tongue, and she didn’t speak. But she sure did look scary with her wild white curls and sharp swords. 

All in all, the crew had been nice to Felix. As of today, he had scrubbed the deck floors with Minho the whole day. They hadn’t spoken. At all. Felix had first tried to initiate a conversation, but it didn’t turn out well. As in, Minho only answered with a short hum, if at all. Felix wondered whether he should have thanked the other boy for saving him back in the tavern, but since he couldn’t get any kind of response apart from humming, he didn’t really know how to. But he would get the boy speaking at some point. He had to, if he were to work with him as a deck boy for the next… next forever? 

The deck boy job had taken him to the kitchen as well. Him and Minho had been scrubbing plates and pots with Seungmin for a couple of days, Raul had accidentally sliced a nasty looking wound to his hand and couldn’t wash the dishes properly, so Minho and Felix were helping. Seungmin had also got even more comfortable with Felix around, he kept on asking questions about the normal life in Nassau and how it differed from anything else. What did Felix know about the empire, history, religions, how to ride a horse (“You can ride one of those hideous beasts?!” “You bet I can!” “What in the ever-loving Davy Jones?”). Seungmin had a different tone to his humor than Jisung who could make jokes about everything. He was a little snarkier, his comments were spiky, laced with sarcasm and irony. If it wasn’t for Seungmin’s giggle, Felix found himself laughing at Jisung who, after all these years, still struggled to understand some of Seungmin’s jokes and nearly got mad at them for laughing at him. One couldn’t really blame him.

Jeongin, when he wasn’t around the others, kept to himself. Felix had more than once found him sitting on the stern ornament and gazing at the open vast sea behind them He was often deep in his thoughts, didn’t hear Felix approaching. But he was also the kindest person Felix had ever met. He was constantly asking Felix how he was doing now that he was finally getting used to living on a ship and working for his food and had time to think about things. About his mother, mostly. Occasionally Felix found himself thinking about Margaret and Annaliese, and oh, how anger boiled inside of him every time he remembered Mister Smith. How could Mister Smith have managed to raise such gentle and beautiful daughters, when he himself was nothing but a piece of horse shit. 

But then again, if it weren’t for Mister Smith, Felix would have never got the chance to meet his new friends and get a real taste of sailing and going on an adventure, rang in the back of Felix’s head. 

As Seungmin had predicted, Sangyeon was steering the wheel after two days after he had heard of his father’s passing. Smiling, like nothing had happened. Sure, Felix could see that the smile didn’t really reach his eyes as it usually did and the quirk of his lips was a little weaker. Him and Felix hadn’t talked much, just a little ‘Hello’s and ‘Good night’s and chit-chatting about the weather on the lunch table with the others, but he was nice as well. He had this… fatherly tone to him. Felix felt like he could trust him no matter the circumstances. 

Chan had been busy running in and out the captain’s cabin the whole week, making plans, steering the helm, ordering everyone around to get ready for the battle, even though it would take time from them to sail from Rum Point to wherever they were going next. So, Felix and Chan hadn’t really talked much, the quartermaster just smiled at him every time he walked past. Changbin was the same, but he didn’t even smile. Just walked past. One day Changbin had even been steering the wheel for a little while, so he wasn’t completely… useless (as he had called Felix). 

And now, Felix couldn’t sleep. He was tired, sure, his hands were aching a little from all of the mopping he had done (not as much as they had done a week ago), but his heart was hurting the most. He was missing his mother. Annaliese. Margaret. Mistress Smith. All of the good people he had had in his life in Nassau. He couldn’t help but again wonder whether the town had survived the attack or not. If his family was still alive. At times like these, laying in his bed, the thoughts became the worst, storming inside his mind and not leaving him alone. Part of him wanted to curl up and cry, cry all of it out, all of the feelings of loneliness and longing. The loneliness made him feel conflicted and therefore confused, because on one hand he was thrilled of his new surroundings, his dreams of sailing across the worlds became slowly, but surely, true and in the span of nearly two weeks he had seen more of the Caribbean he had ever expected to see and he was surrounded by people all the time, people he referred as his friends now, but on the other hand… He was still sort of alone. No familiar people around him, he had got to know everyone from point zero, and in a way, that was exhausting. 

Jisung stirred in his bunk bed, the wooden legs squeaked a little. Felix decided he needed to get out, he couldn’t sleep right now. A little stroll out in the decks, maybe? It wasn’t like there was anyone on the deck, anyways. Everyone was sleeping because they had dropped the anchor in a little, peaceful bay. No villages or cities were built near the shoreline, so they were completely alone, no need for a night guard. Tomorrow they would sail to the open vast with full sails and reach the Rum Point in two days, if the winds were on their side. So far, they had been. 

Felix threw his blanket off and rose to his feet. He couldn’t bother himself to put on any shoes, or the sash, so he tiptoed his way through the sleeping crew to the door. The hinges creaked a little when Felix carefully opened the door and stepped outside. Quietly he closed the door and sighed in relief, as he had managed to not step on anyone’s feet or wake anyone up. Hopefully. 

The deck looked magical, bathing in moonlight. All of the torches had been put out, but it still wasn’t dark. The brown colors had turned to different shades of blue and grey, the golden details still glittering. The light casted long shadows over the wooden boards, but the shadows didn’t look terrifying. They looked a little mysterious, but in an inviting way. Enticing way. Felix padded over to the bannister to look at the glimmering sea. The moonlight created a what looked like a bridge to the high heavens over the little, rippling waves. Moving, dancing, inviting Felix to take a step to the unknown. To the sea. 

Felix leaned against the railing and closed his eyes. It was quiet all around him, apart from the little splashes of waves against the hull of the ship and the slight snoring emanating from the forecastle. The air smelled a little salty, a little wooden, but above it all, it smelled fresh. Felix took it in, relished in the feeling, he couldn’t remember if the air had ever smelled so refreshing in Nassau. Nassau. It was all over his mind again. Felix was getting frustrated at himself, and his head. 

Felix sighed and opened his eyes. He was looking out of the bay, behind him rose the wild jungles of the island a few hundred feet away. They were on shallow waters, but not so shallow they couldn’t rest for the night there. The jungle was surprisingly silent as well, Felix couldn’t hear any birds singing, probably because it was nighttime. Or the island was cursed and now their ship was going to sink. How many stories did that little island keep in secret, Felix wondered for a little while. 

His legs took the best of him and carried him to the other side of the deck to face the jungle. It looked peaceful, so it probably wasn’t cursed. Hopefully. Not that curses even existed, even though Jisung so claimed (the boy did have two charms hanging from his neck so the expectations for him weren’t that high). Someone in the forecastle coughed. Felix let his fingers graze against the surface of the wooden bannister, the cannon he circled. He’d probably have to learn how to fire that at some point. Probably during the next week or so. He already knew how that worked in theory, but in practice… That was a whole another thing. 

The threads of the shrouds felt rough underneath his fingertips, contrasting the cold iron of the ring bolts screwed in the bannister. To keep the shrouds on their respective places. The wooden bannisters were surprisingly smooth and left no little splinters on Felix’s fingers, contrary to what he had initially expected. Felix swiped a fallen strand of hair away from his face before he rose the stairs to the quarter deck. 

One of the steps creaked under his weight, so Felix took the last steps in a little haste. He didn’t want to wake anyone up, especially not the captain, nor the son of the captain, nor the quartermaster, who were supposedly asleep by now. Felix tiptoed over to the helm, placed his hands on the wheel. 

Somehow, it felt so right. It felt so right, standing there, light breath of wind trifling through his hair, catching on the loose lavender shirt a little. Felix took a gentle grip of the handles but didn’t dare to move them. After all, that would move the rudder and might affect the ship’s peaceful little swaying, and Felix didn’t want to disturb anyone. Maybe one day, though. One day he could be there, steering the wheel like Sangyeon and Chan and Jisung and Jackson and Changbin and one of those old folks did, gazing at the horizon in front of him, leaving Nassau behind. 

Felix let his hands slip away has he tiptoed to the large binnacle. Differing from the binnacles Felix had seen before, Euryale’s was more of a large wooden table with a huge compass embedded to it. On the table, next to the compass was lying some tools Felix recognized were used for reading the maps and calculating distances. The map was the same the captain had given to Chan, and it showed the Gulf of Mexico as well as the shores of Cuba in extreme detail. Well, at least more detailed than the maps Felix had ever seen of the Caribbean Was this the works of pirates? Or had this one been stolen from some Spanish galleon as Felix doubted the English had that detailed maps from that part of the Caribbean. 

Felix let his fingertips graze against the surface. The parchment felt quite old, as if it had once been a map for something else and the new map had been painted on top of it. Felix traced the way he assumed they had already sailed, then from Tortuga to the direction of Nassau that fell over the map. He had come quite a long way already. And there was still a long way to go to wherever the ship would take him. Hopefully. 

Felix straightened his back. He still wasn’t feeling tired, but he was feeling a little more serene. If he had something to do with his hands, he didn’t have to think about his mother, he didn’t have to think about everything he was missing, longing. He didn’t have to think about the unbearable feeling of not knowing how the dearest people in his life were doing. 

Felix’s feet tapped against the deck boards as he walked up to the stairs leading to upper quarter deck. Or poop deck, as Jeongin had taught him. Felix gazed at the sea as he rose the stairs, dragged his hand against the railing. One large enough wave, and he’d be sent flying to the sea during a storm from the place he was currently walking on. Felix feared it a little, he had no idea what it would be like to be on a ship during a storm, sure, he had been through a couple of storms during his voyage from London to Nassau, but he couldn’t really remember anything about those. Except that he had been scared. So very scared. 

Felix turned to face the rear ornament as he stepped on the last stair, and halted in his steps, suddenly gripping the handrail. There was someone sitting there, on top of the decoration, next to the lantern post. Their back was facing Felix. Felix wasn’t as alone as he had thought, oh no. He quickly turned away, ought to retreat back to the quarter deck and scuttle back to the forecastle, but too late; 

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are.” Oh no. It was Changbin. Felix swallowed and turned back to face him. He finally stepped on the deck and took in a breath. Changbin was still looking at the peaceful bay, leaning against the lantern post.  
“Sorry about that.” Felix mumbled.  
“You’re lucky my father is a deep sleeper.” He wasn’t being that loud, was he? He didn’t even have shoes on. 

Felix didn’t really know what to do or how to act, last time he had tried to speak to Changbin hadn’t exactly ended well. After contemplating for approximately three seconds, Felix turned around again, Changbin probably wanted to be alone, or at least not in the presence of Felix.  
“No need to leave, you already walked all the way here.”  
“Oh.” Oh? How smart, Felix! Top notch communication. 

Felix couldn’t just stand there awkwardly. Changbin hadn’t still turned around, so Felix decided he’d go to him. Since he didn’t have to leave, apparently. So he decided to do what he’d do if he was a close friend of Changbin’s. He walked up to the stern and climbed on top of the decoration, on the other side of the lantern post in the middle. Unlike Changbin, he didn’t dare to swing his both legs on the other side of the stern, just the other. He made himself comfortable, leaned against one of the wooden curls and hooked his other leg in the little openings in between the decoration beneath him. 

This was really the best place to gaze the world from. He turned to face the front of the ship, and in front of him unfolded all of the decks, the bay, the horizon. The moon was just above him and Changbin, illuminating everything in the silvery light. The view Changbin was looking at was a little different, a little beachy shoreline of the bay, and then behind that, more vast, open sea, glimmering in the moonlight. Breathtaking. 

“Why are you up?” Felix was a little surprised by the question. Or well, he wasn’t, he had just assumed he’d have to be the one to initiate the conversation.  
“I couldn’t sleep.” Felix didn’t dare to look at Changbin, instead, he stared at the view in front of them. He let his other leg swing back and forth lightly.  
“How about you?” He wasn’t entirely sure he’d get an answer.  
“Same as you.” But he did! How surprising. This was probably the most he had ever spoken to the captain’s son so far. 

A silence. A bird shrieked deep in the jungle (or at least Felix hoped it was a bird).  
“Has it been easy? Getting adapted to living on a ship?” Oh? Felix thought about his answer for a second.  
“Yes and no. No as in, I was torn from my past life to this life in a matter of one night and my life is completely upside down, but yes, as in, I have learned to do things fairly quickly. At least in my opinion.” 

Changbin nodded. He didn’t look at Felix but instead the bay, but Felix’s eyes eventually fell on the other boy. His demeanor was calm, legs swinging back and forth a little, just as Felix’s did. His other arm was hooked around the lantern post, head resting against it as well. His dark hair fell over his eyes a little, the moonlight gleamed against the high points of his cheekbones and nose. Felix noticed Changbin wasn’t wearing his red sash either, nor his rings. But he had his necklaces on, as the moonlight glimmered against them. 

“Do you spend your nights here often?” It was Felix’s time to ask questions. He already knew part of the answer, though. Jeongin had told him that, too.  
“Define ‘often.’”  
“Uhh… every day?” Felix didn’t notice it, but Changbin had a little quirk to the corner of his mouth.  
“I’d say three or four nights of a week. Depends if I don’t feel like sleeping. Depends on what we have done during the day. Times like these when there’s really not much to do I come here more often.”  
“Not much to do?” Felix had sure as hell been cleaning every damn corner of this ship for the past three days, and the captain’s son had ‘nothing to do’?  
“I’m not really that big on cleaning.” Changbin flashed Felix a grin that didn’t reach his eyes. Nor did it really seem like a happy grin, more of a… ‘I-don’t-need-to-do-anything-because-I’m-in-a-high-position’ -grin. 

Felix snorted. His shoulders were tense, but it didn’t seem like Changbin was going to bite him, so maybe he could just relax and try to keep the conversation going. Try to keep the other pirate from hating him.  
“Then what are you big on? Aren’t you supposed to join the crew’s workday to keep good spirits up?”  
“Well, someone has to plan all of the heists and routes and so on, don’t they?”  
“Right. And this upcoming little heist is your idea?”  
“Partially. Father wanted something exciting, I did a little digging last time we visited Tortuga. You know, when we were on the way to come and get you.” There wasn’t that snarky tone to Changbin’s speech as there had been before when he had spoken to the boy back in the tavern. He didn’t sound like he was… mad.  
“You sound like you all came to Nassau to save me.” Felix cocked his eyebrow.  
“Don’t you consider this as ‘saving’? What is life of a sailor compared to that of a street rat? Bliss, I’d say.”  
“Fine words coming from such a foul mouth of a pirate.” Felix couldn’t help the little grin stretching across his face.  
“I know how to read. And I’m not foul, at least not any more than you are.”  
“I didn’t say I wasn’t foul.”  
“But you aren’t a pirate.”  
“At least not yet.” 

That made Changbin turn to Felix, he looked a little surprised. The hair on his forehead was slightly curled and messy. And the eyes… pitch black. Not as stormy as in the daylight, but definitely not serene.  
“Not yet?”  
“Doesn’t the upcoming heist make me pirate enough for you? Since I need to be part of this, might as well go all the way in.”  
“Piracy comes from the heart, not from stealing stuff.” Changbin furrowed his eyebrows.  
“Doesn’t ‘pirate’ mean literally a ‘sea robber’?” Felix knew his Latin.  
“Yes? But it still doesn’t make you a pirate. Privateers steal, but they’re not pirates.”  
“That’s because they have a permission to steal from the crown.”  
“Is it stealing if you have a permission?” How had they ended up here?  
“Yes, since you’re taking another person’s possessions.” 

Changbin snorted.  
“Being a pirate isn’t just stealing stuff from other people. It’s about brotherhood, having your own crew and seeing and experiencing things a little landlubber like you could ever dream of.” Changbin threw his other leg over the ornament, he was facing Felix properly.  
“Being a pirate means that everyone, regardless the crown they are under, hates you and sees you as a threat, but being a pirate also means that you’re free of any and all nations, and you belong to no one but yourself. All of the people on this ship are free people, they have chosen to be here. So, if you’re ready to abandon your family, your king, your land, then yes, Felix, you are also a pirate.” Changbin threw his other leg also over the stern and turned to face the front of the ship. Then he slid down the ornament back to the deck. 

“Night, Felix.”  
“N-night.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big plans incoming!! and ooooh changbin you're a feisty one, aren't you. 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	13. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: slight mentions of sexual assault

“And then here is the little island… and if I’m right this bay would be a good place for waiting, but I’m not sure if all the ships can fit there. But! A few miles north, there’s a bigger bay but it’s quite a bit closer to Havana and I’m not entirely sure no other ships would interfere.” 

Felix was sitting on the bannister next to Hyunjin. They were done cleaning the last cannons they had been assigned to scrub and were taking a little rest, while listening to, perhaps without a permission, Jisung explaining to Chan and Changbin the route he had planned the ships would take on their way to Los Galeones. The pirates were hunched over the binnacle, examining the map, eyebrows furrowed and clearly focused. 

Changbin was standing his back facing Felix. He had his red sash, sword, all the rings and everything on again. Most of his hair was tied to a little ponytail on the back of his head and the strands that couldn’t reach it flew around in the wind. Felix had left a little after Changbin had disappeared to his own cabin last night, mind spinning and still anything but tired, but once his head had finally hit the pillow again, he had fallen asleep. Since waking up, he had thought of the conversation they had had, repeated it in his head. Changbin had sounded sincere when he had spoken of what being a pirate meant to him. 

But Felix wasn’t entirely sure, had there been a little drop of bitterness in it as well? The way Changbin had spoken of everyone hating pirates, or rather, everyone who was committed to their homeland hated pirates. Felix couldn’t really understand it. Surely there was a reason why those who obeyed the law hated pirates, no? After all, pirates went against any and all laws and regulations, stealing stuff left and right, there was plenty of reason to hate them. And pirates themselves chose to be pirates, as Changbin had said, so… The hatred should have been expected. 

Then again, Felix hadn’t chosen this, he hadn’t chosen to become a pirate but here he was. Except that he wasn’t a pirate, according to Changbin and perhaps that was somehow reassuring but at the same time a little… sad. Reassuring as in, in case of some English ship catching up to them and attacking them, Felix could still appeal to his position as the governor’s son that had been kidnapped and survive, but sad, as in Changbin didn’t count him as a part of the crew and he was still… a governor’s son to him. A governor’s son, whose father had sunk his father’s brother and killed him in a fight. So yes, it was a little sad. Felix didn’t entirely know why, did he want to be part of the crew so desperately? A pirate crew? 

Perhaps. 

Jeongin plopped down to sit next to him.  
“You look focused.”   
“I’m trying to choose whether I’m trying to eavesdrop those around the binnacle or not.” Jeongin snorted at Felix;  
“Not that hard considering Jisung gets louder whenever he gets excited.” A mild smile spread across Felix’s features. Hyunjin leaned against the shrouds and whined.   
“My arms hurt so much, I hate cleaning.”   
“Imagine being a deckboy and having to scrub these floors every week.” Felix didn’t have to imagine.   
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know how you survive that.”   
“Pure will and spite.” 

“Jeongin!” Chan voiced from the binnacle, Jeongin hopped off the bannister and padded over to the quarter master’s side.   
“How does the sea feel?” What? Felix’s full attention was now on the little group. Hyunjin didn’t seem to mind that much.   
“Hmh. A little restless. It isn’t cloudy for nothing.” Jeongin answered. Felix quickly moved to sit on the other side of Hyunjin, that way he was a little closer, he could hear better.   
“Storm approaching?” Jisung asked.   
“No, I don’t think it’s a storm. Just a little windy, but the wind will be on our side. But the seas are restless. Something’s changing, but I’m not completely sure what. It’s like… something is not in balance.” Felix didn’t understand.   
“Do you need to go to the water?” Why would Jeongin need to go to the water? The sea? Now?   
“I don’t think so, I’ll do it when we reach Rum Point. The sea changes all the time, it lives, so it might not be as restless then. The dip in balance may just be in the wind.” The dip in what may be in what now?   
“But overall everything is fine?” Changbin was the one to ask in turn.   
“Yes, at least for now, but don’t be surprised if it changes suddenly.” 

Chan nodded. He somehow understood it all, and so did apparently the rest of the boys as well. Felix nudged Hyunjin.   
“What the hell?” He whispered.   
“Mhm?”   
“Why are they asking those questions from Jeongin?”   
“Uhh?” Ah. He hadn’t listened.   
“Nevermind.” Felix turned back to the boys just as Jeongin scuttled over to them. Jisung left to go get something from the hull, the two other boys leaned over the binnacle again.   
“Why won’t my father be the one doing this as usual?” Felix could hear Changbin whining to Chan. 

He didn’t hear Chan’s answer because Jeongin took a seat next to him again and the little pouch hanging from his sash clanked against the irony bolts of the bannister. Felix looked at him, curious.   
“What?” Jeongin’s irises looked slightly deeper shade of purple as the abyss contrasted against them.   
“What?” Felix repeated.   
“Why are you looking at me like that?”   
“Nothing.”   
“Nothing?”  
“What the hell were you talking about?” Felix really couldn’t hold it in, could he?   
“The seas?”  
“Yeah and the winds and everything.” 

Jeongin smiled gently, he looked at Felix with those eyes that seemed so wise, they had seen so many things for such a young age.   
“Well, you do remember what Seungmin told you about stories, don’t you?” Oh, he did. The stories always started at somewhere, and Felix sure had heard stories of mermaids with purple eyes. Stories. Not actual facts. Felix raised his eyebrow at Jeongin. 

Jeongin laughed lightly, still smiling gently.   
“You don’t believe anything you don’t see for yourself.” Felix shook his head. No. He didn’t. And it had always been like that, and it was also the reason he still doubted Hyunjin being a half-siren-whatever. He could have been just an extremely alluring person.  
“Don’t worry. You’re going to believe it eventually.” Jeongin chuckled. And what the hell was that supposed to mean? 

*** 

“Felix!” Chan called from the door of the kitchen. Felix was just having dinner with Hyunjin and Jeongin, fork halfway to his mouth as the quarter master dashed in.   
“Your turn as the look-out tonight, I’ll show you what to do” And the fork stayed halfway to his mouth.   
“It is?” Chan stopped at the edge of the table. He had a bandana on, swiping away the black curls from his face.   
“Didn’t Minho tell you?” The quarter master arched his eyebrow, rested his hands on his hips. The sword attached to his belt swayed a little.   
“No?”   
“Bugger. Anyway, when you’re done eating, come find me.” And with that, the quarter master was off again. Why was he always in such a rush? 

Felix stuffed the contents of the fork inside his mouth. And then he turned to his companions, a little horrified.   
“Night guard?”   
“You’ll get to climb to crow’s nest!” Hyunjin grinned.   
“Oh?” Oh! The crow’s nest! High up there! …All alone. During the night.   
“What if I fall asleep?” Felix chewed the potatoes that had lost a little bit of their delicious taste as Chan had dashed in with the news.   
“Then pray to your god that no one finds you sleeping, and no ship attacks us during your guard.”   
“Yeah, we have attacked multiple ships during the night and the guard has been sleeping and hasn’t given any alarms to the poor, sleeping crew.”   
“…Oh.” Well! Responsibility! Absolutely terrifying!   
“You’ll do well, just don’t fall asleep. It’s mostly boring and just staring at the vast and listening to the waves and for anything out of ordinary.” Hyunjin gave him a little reassuring smile.   
“And please don’t fall asleep, I don’t want you falling off of there.” Jeongin’s words certainly weren’t as reassuring as Hyunjin’s, but maybe he wouldn’t fall asleep out of fear of falling now. 

Felix ate the rest of his food, and with a little haste took the plates and cutlery to the ‘washing table’ as Seungmin and Raul called it, a little table in the corner with two buckets of water used to wash the dishes. It was water from the sea, they didn’t use drinking water to clean them up (no wonder the food tasted salty at times). Felix scurried out of the kitchen to the main deck. 

The air outside was a little cooler now, the clouds that had hid the sun during the day were finally disappearing, revealing the beautiful sunset coloring the sky in hues of orange pink and violet. The sea was rather calm, the wind was toning down a little. Felix looked around and spotted the quarter master on the helm, as expected. Some of the crewmembers were again playing some game involving rather old-looking cards in the middle of the main deck. Felix supposed they would go to sleep as soon as the sun set properly, as they were supposed to reach Rum Point by tomorrow evening. 

Felix skipped the last steps to the quarter deck, where Chan was steering the wheel. Changbin and Jisung were sitting on the steps leading to the poop deck, deep in their conversation.   
“Sorry, I thought Minho had told you you’d be in the night guard today, I told him yesterday and asked him to tell you.” Yesterday? Minho and Felix had been mopping the decks yesterday and hadn’t spoken a word.   
“Well, he doesn’t really talk to me, so no wonder.”   
“Oh? Odd. I’ll ask him about it later.” Chan let go of the handles of the wheel and turned to Felix.   
“No need to! I mean, he’s probably just shy, it’s alright, I don’t have anything against the night shift or whatsoever.” Felix was quick to smile. Why was he protecting Minho? Sure, he would have loved to know about the night shift a little beforehand, but maybe the boy had just forgot! He wasn’t that much of an asshole, was he? 

Chan’s lips quirked a little;  
“Okay, if you say so.” He turned away from Felix and walked up to the binnacle, where he still had all of the tools used for counting distances as Felix had seen yesterday evening.   
“Take this spyglass, you probably won’t need it, but just in case you do.” Chan handed Felix a telescope.  
“Spyglass? Isn’t this a telescope?”   
“A spyglass. Get used to it.” The quarter master smiled at Felix; “Do you know how to use it?”   
“Yes, I think so.” Felix pulled the telescope to its full length and lifted it to his eye. He closed his other eye and-   
“The cap is on.”   
“Oh.” Felix’s cheeks burned in embarrassment. He quickly removed the leathery cap from the other end and lifted it to his eye again, closing the other.

With his other hand he turned the ring in the middle of the telescope, focusing it better.   
“Great!” Chan smiled at him again and Felix lowered the telescope. Spyglass. What a cute name. The spyglass was made of some kind of metal and it had a silvery sheen to it. By the weight Felix could tell it wasn’t full on silver, it was something else. The rings surrounding the middle and the ends of the spyglass looked golden, and it had some stars carved to its side. Felix supposed it was stolen from some ship sailing under the crown. He pressed the leathery cap back on, his cheeks were still burning. God damn it. And by the snickers coming from his far left, Jisung and Changbin had seen everything. 

“Aight! Basically, you’ll just climb up the crow’s nest, sit there the whole night and try to stay awake.” Felix nodded. Easy.   
“Since it will be dark, look for any kind of moving lights that would seem like a ship. There are no islands near our way, so you shouldn’t be able to see any lights coming from towns or villages.” Lights? Easy.  
“But since if someone is to attack us, they will do it with their lights off surrounded by darkness, so listen to any kind of unordinary noises. Any difference in the rippling of the waves, any distant talking, rustling coming from another ship’s sails.” Sounds? Not so easy! Felix nodded again.   
“If you see lights, try to look with the spyglass. If you see a ship approaching us from a distance, get down and come wake me up. If you notice them when they are, let’s say, under a two-minute sail from us, yell, ‘ship approaching from the starboard side’ or whichever side they are coming from. If they’re just carrying cargo and passing by, they will yell back, if they’re here to attack us, well… they won’t answer.” Felix nodded, his gut twisted. Oh, how he prayed he wouldn’t have to yell anything.   
“Most likely you will just see lights passing by in the horizon, in that case you won’t have to do anything. Only if they’re approaching.” 

“Max will be the one steering the wheel tonight, so will Changbin at some point, I think, so in case there really is a ship trying to attack us, you will yell at them and they will ring the bell and wake everyone up and after that all hell breaks loose. When the sun rises at like, six in the morning or so, Lisa will come to take your place and you’ll get to go to sleep. And you won’t have to wake up until noon, so you’ll get to skip any work we’ll be doing in the morning.” Oh. Well that was nice! Felix prayed all hell wouldn’t have to break loose and Lisa wouldn’t find him fallen asleep, because then he would most definitely get an ass-whooping. 

“Any questions?”   
“So I just stand there, keep an eye on the seas?”   
“Yes.”  
“The whole night.”   
“Yes.”   
“Alone.”  
“Yes. Well, there will be always someone on the helm as well, but the sleeping crew would appreciate you not talking during the night.”   
“Alright, I think I’ll survive.” 

Chan gently patted Felix on the shoulder.   
“You’ll do fine, I’m sure of it, Jisung told me you love the heights, you’ll love this too. Get up there when the sun sets its last rays.” 

*** 

Jisung was right. He loved the heights. He hadn’t been sitting that long on the crow’s nest of the main mast for more than half an hour, but he was already in love. The sun was nearly gone, the sky and the sea were painted violet, blue, deep blue. The first stars were slowly starting to come to life, the moon slowly rising above the waterline from the starboard side of the ship. It was beautiful. Breathtaking. The crew underneath his feet were going to sleep, some still playing on the deck. Felix could hear Jisung’s voice, the boy was talking to Max and Yunho. Seungmin was taking part in the board game. 

Felix had tangled the telescope, spyglass, in his sash, and it was resting against his hip. He had his knife with him, of course, even though he probably wouldn’t need it. He just had decided it would be for the best to carry it around all times, in case of, well, anything happening. He was sitting at the bottom of the crow’s nest, head resting against the mast going through it. Above him was the place for the colors, only they weren’t hoisted at the moment. The barriers around the nest were just at the right level, Felix didn’t have to stand the whole night, he could see everything just fine above the hurdle. Or well, he could see right between the bars holding the wooden railing as well. 

Today they had seen a couple of ships in the horizon, most probably carrying stuff from the mainland to Europe, or in between the islands of the Caribbean. Felix could right now see one ship, far in the horizon, a little galleon just passing by. It didn’t have any colors on, so it was either a pirate ship or just some privately-owned ship, since those working under the crown always had their colors hoisted. Felix focused his telescope on the ship, but the telescope wasn’t strong enough to reach the ship properly and Felix saw no movement. 

As the darkness fell, so did the silence. His surroundings were once again tinted in silver and blue, the moonlight shining down on him. A couple of torches were lit on the deck. The sails of the main mast were open and full, mizzenmast had the mainsail open. Foremast was empty, all sails tied up. Their speed was only three or four knots, according to the quartermaster, but the wind in Felix’s hair made it seem a little faster. Felix gazed down, he could see Max on the wheel, focused on what was in front of him. 

And after a while, the darkness got to him. His mind began wandering away to the horizon and what awaited him in there, and slowly, but surely, he started nodding off. When Felix realized it, he stood up, walked around the little crow’s nest, looked at the open vast, tried to catch something moving. Nothing. Just rippling of the waves, the light swaying of the ship and moonlight. As he felt awake again, he sat down. He couldn’t sleep now! This was his first time so far up all by himself, nothing but endless sea in front of him, he should be loving this! 

And he was loving this! He was just also nodding off again. Goddamn, why had he gone to the deck last night, he could have just slept properly!   
“Evening!” 

Felix nearly got a heart attack as Seungmin’s head popped up;   
“Jesus Christ!”  
“Just me, sorry. I hope I woke you up in case you were already sleeping.” Seungmin slung his feet over the railing and sat down next to Felix.   
“I wasn’t! I was wide awake!” Seungmin gave Felix a knowing smile.   
“Don’t lie, I’ve once been on my first night shift, too. You start all fine and then the swaying of the ship just makes you sleepy.” 

Felix gave Seungmin a little smile, perhaps he was right.   
“What brought you here tonight?” Felix asked. He hadn’t expected any companion.   
“I couldn’t sleep. I needed something else to think.” Ah.   
“Sounds familiar.” A few heartbeats of silence, then Seungmin continued:   
“I can’t stop thinking about my mom.” Oh. Oh no. Felix swallowed, he hadn’t expected the conversation to turn this way.   
“I’ve heard of it. I’m sorry for your loss.” Felix wanted to pat Seungmin on the shoulder or hug him or something, but he figured their friendship wasn’t that far yet. After all, this was the first time they were speaking to each other in private. At least sort of private.   
“Thank you.”   
“I’m sure she was a great mother.” Jesus, Felix, get a grip.   
“She was. At least to me.”   
“Did you have any siblings?”   
“I had a little sister. She died when I was five.” Felix nodded, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to continue the conversation. He didn’t know Seungmin that well yet, but somehow it would have felt odd to turn the conversation to another topic right now. Seungmin stared at the horizon with glassy eyes for a moment, he seemed to be in his thoughts. 

“I just… It’s still so hard to grasp the reality that she’s gone… We spent last ten years together and now it’s just… over.” Felix nodded. He couldn’t even imagine the pain and sorrow Seungmin was going through.   
“We used to live in London, as you know, my mother and I. My father left for the seas when I was little, and never returned. I don’t know if he’s still alive, I doubt it.” Perhaps Seungmin just needed someone to talk to? Someone, who he didn’t know that well, just to listen to him? 

“I just know that they met in London, my mother worked as a maid, my father was a blacksmith’s apprentice. They were together for a few years, then I was born, a year after that my sister was born, and a year after that my father just never returned home, mom found a letter where he announced that he’s gone to look for a better life, the blood in his veins apparently pulled him to the seas. My mom was left alone with me and my sister. Until my sister died of some sickness when she was five.” Briefly Felix wondered if they had ever come across each other in London, but then he realized the odds for that were nearly zero. Felix was an aristocrat, he had only gone to places with other aristocrats with his parents, and Seungmin was from… working class. 

“I can barely remember my father, I know next to nothing of him, my mom neve really spoke of him. Nor my sister. He continued to work as a maid, she took sometimes me with her to play with the children of the house she worked at, until a farrier, who worked close by took me as his apprentice.” 

A cluster of lights passed by them in the horizon. The moonlight glimmered against the sea. 

“Then the problems began. My mom lost her job, I didn’t get paid enough to cover for the both of us, and she couldn’t find a new job. We lost our house as we couldn’t pay the rent anymore. I think I was twelve back then, I can’t remember properly.” 

“And then my mom got an idea. My dad had gone to seas to get away from everything, so why couldn’t we do the same? The problem was only that the crown’s ships only hired men, so my mom cut her hair and fished some of my dad’s old clothing from the back of her clothing drawer and told me to call her dad. And then we somehow managed to get into one of His Majesty’s ships that transported goods from London to Port Royal. I ended up working as a deckboy, my mom took the cook’s position. 

“I noticed, that my mom turned happier as the distance between us and London grew. At some point I got to know that her father had been a sailor, too, as well as her grandfather, and she had always dreamed of sailing.   
“It’s in the blood, isn’t it?” Felix asked.   
“It is.” And it was in Felix’s blood as well, he knew that. After all, Charles Lee had once been a fierce captain of one of the many man-o-wars of the navy. The blood had led Seungmin to the seas, as it had always tried to pull Felix there. And apparently, it had succeeded.  
“How did you end up from the navy to a pirate ship?” Felix couldn’t help it, he had to ask. What made a man of honor change from the crown to the lawless world of pirates? 

Seungmin laughed lightly. With every word he understood the boy better, he understood why he acted the way he did. He understood the tense shoulders and concerned gazes.   
“Have you ever been to an actual navy ship, Felix?”   
“No.”   
“They’re the seventh circle of Hell on earth.” 

Oh. Felix couldn’t help the surprised look on his face. Seungmin laughed lightly at him again and leaned his head against the mast. Felix noticed that there was a little hole in his trousers.   
“They weren’t so bad at first., especially not when my mom had time to look after me. But soon she didn’t have any time, her hands were full of work, and I started to learn how to sail and no longer needed her help. But still, I somehow ended up being the lowest of the low, and it didn’t help that they knew that the cook was my father. I can’t remember how many times I had to hear how I was a pretty boy and how many times I had to push hands away when they got too close, and how many times I cried myself to sleep. And that wasn’t enough, then the bullying started, I was so young, I had to mop all the same decks over and over again every day, polish every single piece of cutlery that was found in the ship, sometimes both during the same day. And on top of those I had to do other work, no breaks, just work work work and more work and harassment, and that was a little too much for a thirteen-year-old boy. The crew was horrible in other ways, too, it was divided in little groups, the captain and other higher-rank officers favored some men, and if you didn’t find friends, then everyone was mean to you. I didn’t find, and I didn’t have anyone besides my mother, who was busy in the kitchen all day.”

Felix was at a loss of words. He just stared at Seungmin, mouth agape.   
“The pay was bullshit. In other words, there were times we got nothing from the voyages. The officers just said the food and shelter we got during the travel was enough. Occasionally the higher officers, even captains were incompetent, they had got their job because they were from the higher class.” Oh, Felix knew exactly what that incompetence meant. He had seen it many times in the city hall.   
“So, we were treated like bilge rats, the pay was horrible and I was treated even worse. I think that was plenty of reasons to change to a pirate crew.” Seungmin smiled. There was no joy in that smile. Only nostalgia. 

Okay. Felix understood. He had heard complaints coming from sailors in the taverns before, but he hadn’t known it was this bad. And his father? He was one of the reasons they were that bad.   
“My last voyage was from London to Caribbean, Port Royal, to be specific. After we reached Port Royal, we ran away. She knew that I was bullied all along, but for reasons she couldn’t intervene and help, or at least that’s what she told me. I think the captain or some other officer found out that she’s not a man and blackmailed her with it. Oh well, we spent a little while in Port Royal, worked a bit in small jobs, mut then we decided to leave back for the seas. We boarded a privateer ship, which took us to Tortuga after a few fun happenings. During that time learned that the things were usually better aboard pirate ships, so we heard from a few sailors.” 

“So then we went and found ourselves a pirate ship. The Medusa. Captain Seo’s brother, who sailed around the Caribbean, until he met up with our Captain Seo, who was in a dire need of a new cook, and Medusa had three at the time. So, we changed from that ship to this ship. And that’s how we ended up here. How I ended up here. 

Well that sure was a story. Felix was speechless, again. Seungmin had been through a lot, a lot more than a boy his age should have been. Wow. Felix was in awe.   
“I’m sorry I don’t have any words, that’s just… wow.” Seungmin bursted to a light-hearted laugh.   
“You should hear half of the crew’s stories, they’re even wilder.”   
“I bet they are. My life sounds literally so uneventful compared to yours.”   
“If you plan on staying, I promise you, you’ll get some pretty damn good adventures for yourself as well. And c’mon, how many of these people here can say they were kidnapped to this ship without their will as a revenge? I bet none.” 

Seungmin’s words made Felix giggle lightly. Okay, maybe his life wasn’t as uneventful as it seemed. Felix just thought it was boring since he was so used to it.   
“Is the pay here better than on the navy ships, then? Or like, which things are better?”   
“Everything. The only thing that is worse on a pirate ship is that the crown’s ships don’t like you, but otherwise you’re pretty much safe. But as the best of the best thing I would say is the feeling. The people. No one tries to grope me anymore, nor is anyone just straight up rude without a reason. And no one’s bullying me out of the crew.” Felix nodded. He had noticed it too, the pirates worked like everyone were friends with each other, sure, perhaps sometimes a little rude and impolite, but they had even been nice to Felix, which he hadn’t expected. 

“Everyone’s… equal. As you have noticed, we have also women on this ship, something the navy ships don’t do. Or half of the pirate ships. Everyone does their job, and whenever we heist something or find a treasure or something, everyone gets a good pay. All the basic crewmembers have the same, equal pay, everyone gets their part no matter if they’re a deck boy or a cook or a charter. Only one’s that get a better pay are those in hierarchically better position, and on this ship, it means the bosun, the quartermaster and the captain. And the pay is better overall.”  
“Ah, of course you like it here, you get a better pay.” Felix joked and got himself a mischievous grin from Seungmin.  
“Doesn’t Changbin get a better pay than the normal sailors, though?”   
“No, he gets the same as the regular sailors. He really isn’t in charge, he just has the cabin to himself because Captain Seo has granted him that.”   
“Ah, I see. So the… name has no meaning on this ship?” 

“Not really, and that’s also one of the reasons I like pirate ships more than navy ships. The places above the rest of the crew have to be earned, you won’t get them with your name. Chan has done so much work on this ship to become the quartermaster, and the Captain trusts him fully. When he was first appointed, some of the older crewmembers complained since he’s so young, but you know, you have eyes, you can see how much of a natural leader he is.” Oh, he did. He had never seen even his father have such power over the town’s people as Chan did over the crewmembers. 

“The place of the bosun changes from time to time, now it’s Sangyeon’s turn. I think Johnny might be next, the one before me was Lisa. That just means he help the quartermaster look over the crew and keep discipline. And I know how to steer and do basically everything on this ship, and that’s one of the requirements to become the bosun.”   
“So there aren’t any other higher grade places?”   
“Not on this ship. Other ships might have coxswains, especially bigger ships.”   
“How about the captain? How do you become that?”   
“By being a damn good pirate and earning your place, same as the others. And usually, if you own a ship, then you’re automatically the captain, but if you’re a shit captain, the crew might overthrow you and decide a new one from amongst them.”   
“So all of the places are… decided from the crew?”   
“Yeah.”   
“Oh, that’s great!”   
“Yep, it decreases the amount of incompetent people in high positions.” 

Why the hell didn’t the navy ships do that? Oh, Felix knew, none of the fine men wanted to give away their places, even if they didn’t know even how to steer a ship. Apparently. 

A silence fell around them. The waves were rippling around the ship gently, not a soul in sight. The wind was quite light, but it kept pushing them forwards on their journey. Felix liked this, he really liked Seungmin. He liked the calm atmosphere he brought with him. The way Felix felt relaxed with him around, in other way than with Jeongin or the others. Well, Jisung’s companion didn’t make him that relaxed as the boy was straight up on fire sometimes, and Changbin’s presence alone was stressful, but Seungmin was calm and gentle like a zephyr on an early Sunday morning. Felix was glad he had climbed up to sit on the crow’s nest with him, usually he just saw him in the kitchen. 

Then, a question popped to his head.   
“Hey, uhh… can I ask you something perhaps a little personal?” Felix looked at the other boy, a little shy. Seunmgin arched his eyebrow a little, a gentle look in his eyes;  
“I’ve basically told you my whole life story, so I don’t know how much more personal you can get, but sure, go ahead.” 

Felix contemplated for a second, thought about how he would ask without coming off as rude. Or intruding, or accusatory.   
“When you uhh… when you…” Oh this was going great; “when you decided to join the pirate crew did you uhh… think about the consequences? Like, not, like consequences in a bad way but like, what if you have to defend yourself with a sword or steal something, or if you… if you have to kill someone? How did you decide on that?” Felix hoped Seungmin understood the question. 

“Ah, the moral question!” Oh, thank god, he did.  
“Well, um, we didn’t see really other way out of the crown ship’s life, so we decided that whatever was to come our way, whether it was stealing or plundering or killing, we would do it, without hesitation. The stealing part was fine, it actually felt quite good when we first attacked a cargo ship under the English colors, it felt like a little revenge for those two horrifying years. Like a little rebellion against the huge countries, already so rich, where did they even need more riches?” 

“But the feelings of revenge faded pretty quickly the second I had to draw my sword and stab the sailor in front of me, who was just a few seconds away from slicing my head off my shoulders.” Seungmin’s smile faded away as he spoke, eyes turning a little sadder. Like he was hurting.

“You’re never going to forget your first kill, that’s just how it is. I know that every single pirate on this ship remembers the first person they killed, and after that, it turns to a haze of faces that don’t really matter. I’m no different from them, I still remember the first time I pierced the chest of that sailor in front of me. I remember the sheer terror in his face, the whites of his eyes glinting in the torch light, the way blood surged from the open wound to my sword, my hands, and my clothes. Sometimes I still have dreams about it, I see his death over and over again, and I know I’ll see those dreams to the end of my life.” 

“But I also wake up from those dreams grateful. If it wasn’t for that second I drew my sword and pierced it through his heart, it would have been my head rolling on the deck floor of that cargo ship. And that’s what you have to remember too, Felix. The other crew doesn’t know your backstory, not your position, not your name. They only know that you are a pirate, and you’re here to take away what’s theirs. And their will try to defend that, and they will try to kill you. And if you don’t defend yourself and kill them before they get to you, they will make sure it’s not their blood on the deck, but yours.” 

Felix swallowed. Dear lord, he hoped he wouldn’t have to ever use his sword or a cannon or a gun or anything. But he was going to, he knew that. He had no other choice if he were to stay alive. The same, reassuring smile appeared back on Seungmin’s lips.   
“But don’t worry, you’ll get over it eventually. Everyone else has, so will you. Just keep in mind that you need to be faster and deadlier, otherwise you’re going to end up dead.”  
“I uhh… I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“Oh, and also for the stealing part, you do remember all the dirty alleyways with poor people from London? I bet you have some lower-class people in Nassau, too.”   
“Uhhuh.” Felix nodded. He did remember those. His father had despised them, but Felix felt nothing but pity when he saw them.   
“The countries, including yours do nothing to help them. The crowns just keep on getting richer and richer, but they give nothing to the people underneath them. I don’t know about you, but I felt pretty good taking away from the crown to myself, because the crown had treated me like a bilge rat my whole life. I know you’re used to the aristocrat life, but I’d say the money you’re going to earn sailing with this ship is quite equal to what your family already has. Your coins just belong to you, not to your father, not to the crown. If that eases the moral question at all.” 

Felix nodded. He… understood what Seungmin meant. Felix had sometimes thought about it too, why didn’t his father or the rich townsmen do anything to help the poor. The poor hadn’t chosen to be poor, as Felix hadn’t chosen to be born to privilege (one time he had asked his father why they just didn’t help them because he had so much money, and then he had got a ringing ear, stinging for two days). Yeah. Maybe the crown didn’t need any more money. 

“Thank you.” Felix smiled at Seungmin, who gave him a little nod and a smile back.   
“No problem. I figured you would probably ask that from someone eventually, better me than someone who has never worked for the crown.” The boy yawned, stretched a little.   
“I think I’ll head to sleep.” Seungmin rose to his feet and slung his feet over the railing, stepped on the shrouds.   
“Don’t fall asleep, I don’t want anyone yelling at you in the morning. And don’t think about the upcoming heist too much, you’ll do fine.” Felix smiled and nodded again. Seungmin took a few steps down, Felix could only see his head anymore.   
“Oh and Felix? Thank you for listening.” 

The smile widened on Felix’s face widened a little, just as he had expected.   
“No problem. Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love me some good ass moral question and seungmin! gotta say, this chapter is another one of my faves so far! as always, thank you so much for sticking with this fic and reading it, i hope you are having as much fun as i am having writing this, i love y'all, mwah!!! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	14. 14

“Felix. Felix!” Someone nudged Felix on his shoulder, hard. He nearly fell to his side, gripping on the telescope in his hand as his eyes popped open. For a second he freaked out – why the hell was he nearly 200 feet up in the air and why the fuck was there no deck underneath his feet. And then it dawned on him – he had fallen asleep during his lookout shift. 

Hurriedly he gazed to the person on his right who was hanging from the railing and was met with the tired-looking dark eyes of Changbin.   
“Wake the fuck up, or Lisa is going to skin you alive.”   
“I’m awake, I’m awake!” Felix swiped quickly the drool dripping from the corner of his mouth away. Jesus, why did Changbin have to see that?   
“And stay awake.” And with that, Changbin was off, descending the shrouds back to the deck. 

Felix rubbed his eyes and stood up, a little ashamed for having fallen asleep. It was still dim, but the sun was definitely making its way up, the skyline had turned to lighter blue, painting the few clouds in the horizon a bright orange. It was beautiful, but not as beautiful as sunsets in the Caribbean were. Felix had always been one to prefer sunsets, even if sunrises had a completely different feeling to them. Sunrises were anticipation, excitement. New beginnings. Fresh starts, new chances, new possibilities, new opportunities. 

Sunsets were endings, new pages in the book. If something new were to start, it needed to end first. Endings took away all of the pain, all of the suffering and let the person to move on to the next beginning. Endings also took away all of the good things as well, the moments of happiness that perhaps turned to sad beginnings. But in order for life to continue, everything, all of it, the good and the bad, must end to make way for the new things. And it was reassuring, safe. Soothing, really. Nothing lasted forever, including the pain. 

That’s why Felix liked sunsets more, but sunrises were just as beautiful. What made the morning seem a little less beautiful was the cold that had crept up his spine when he had been taking a little… nap. He couldn’t have been asleep for long, though, as the last thing he could remember before falling asleep was him thinking ‘the sky is getting brighter, thank god’. So maybe half an hour, give or take. 

Felix shuddered a little, pulled his shirt properly over his hands. He pushed the telescope inside the sash he was wearing, walked around the little crow’s nest and stretched a little. The night had certainly taken a toll on him, that and the horrible sleeping position against the mast. His joints ached. During the night he had been bored to his very core, just prancing around the crow’s nest, climbed to sit on the booms a little lower from the nest, gazed at the vast open like a damsel in distress and made at least three perfect plans how to avoid fighting or attacking Los Galeones. Except that none of them were perfect and all of them included hiding on the storage deck in the little storage rooms. Or in the bilge. Which wasn’t a very compelling idea, given that it smelled very rotten and Felix would have rather not smelled rotten the rest of his voyage. 

Felix looked down and saw Changbin on the wheel, hands on the handles, looking far away. How nice of him to come wake Felix up. Why had he done that? It wasn’t exactly normal that Changbin was being this nice to him, given that Felix had probably pissed him off the night before again. Or maybe he hadn’t, Felix barely knew the boy as he was always keeping to himself or didn’t say much when he was hanging out with them. But still, how nice of him. And also, a little embarrassing. Not a little, quite a lot, actually, first night on the look-out and Felix was already falling asleep, now he would probably never get any more of these shifts! Except if Changbin didn’t tell anyone. But he probably would. Or would he? 

Felix didn’t dare to sit down again, he was still drowsy and desperately wanted to sleep, so he couldn’t take the risk of falling asleep again. Not when Lisa was to take the next turn on the look-out, and as Chan and Changbin had said, she was scary. She didn’t look scary, no, she looked very friendly and had a warm smile and bright, large eyes, almost like a deer. And she had been very friendly to Felix, so not bad at all. But Felix had seen how she had lost her temper to one of those older sailors when he slacked on his job and let the man hear a piece of her mind, and Felix really did not want to get any first-hand experience on that. 

And as the first rays of sunshine swept over the vast sea, her head popped from the side of the crow’s nest with a wide smile;  
“Morning, sailor! Rough night?” 

*** 

“How did it go?” Felix plopped down next to Jeongin, who was polishing the last swords on the main deck, sitting next to the gun closet. They had been sharpened, the blades glimmering in the sunlight.   
“Fine, I guess.”   
“Fell asleep?”   
Felix was silent for a second, and Jeongin took the silence as a yes.   
“Don’t worry, happens even to the best of us. That’s why there’s always someone on the helm awake with you as well, in case either of you falls asleep. And if we would have been in actual danger or there had been even the slightest reason to suspect that there would have been a plan to attack us, then there would have been at least three people on the deck through the whole night.” 

“Oh, thank heavens.” Felix huffed; “Though, I dozed off only for like… half an hour, I was basically awake the whole night.”   
“That’s good! Lisa didn’t whoop your ass when she found you?”   
“Mhm? Oh, no, Changbin came to wake me up before it was her turn.” Jeongin tore his gaze from the blade and turned to look at Felix;  
“Did he now?”   
“Yeah. Is there something odd about it?”   
“I guess not.”   
“You guess?” Felix didn’t quite understand. This wasn’t normal of Changbin?   
“Well, I haven’t heard of him doing that to anyone before, but perhaps he was feeling extremely nice.”   
“Oh. Well, lucky me, then.” 

Felix was still quite tired, he had slept a few hours after the shift and woken up for lunch. After that he had helped Hyunjin to organize one of the little storage rooms since one of the shelves had given out last evening and had to be repaired. And now, he had nothing to do, really, except try to forget the stirring inside his stomach and the fear that slowly crept up his back. They were going to reach Rum Point soon, and there would be loads of other pirates. And then the captains would have to make a plan, and then they would sail for the riches. Thank god Felix didn’t necessarily have to meet the other crew, according to Jisung they would leave their ship further away from the small port as it couldn’t hold more than two ships, and the waters in front of Rum Point were anyways too shallow for their huge ship, and then the captain and all the important sailors would row to the island. So Felix could just stay in the ship, no problem. 

Felix leaned against the bannister behind his back and closed his eyes for a second. Some crewmembers passed by, boots thudding against the wooden deck boards. The wind was quite high, sails of the main mast and mizzen mast were full, and their speed was well over five knots, maybe seven or eight.   
“Did ye heard of the rumor? That the captains today won’t be alone for the night?”   
“What you mean? I only ‘eard Rum Point ain’t got none brothels, what a waste of a voyage, I say.”   
“To hell with your brothels. I heard they have brought a witch.”   
“A witch. What for?”   
“For good luck, of course. Or I dunno, maybe they summon the goddess of the sea to bring them good fortune.”   
“Ya ain’t actually believe that, are you?”  
“Why not? Wouldn’t be the first time cap is involved in some funky magic business. But witches be good, aye? I met one, she was really good fun, and really nice, too.”   
“And I met one that almost beheaded me. So I hope your rumors of this witch are nothing but rat shit.” 

“But that ain’t the end of it, crew speaks of the cursed woods of Rum Point. The whole island is cursed, those who step on its shores will be faced with something really bad.”   
“And ye believe that, too? Bollocks. There are people living on that island, and they’re very much alive. Rumors are rumors, mate.”   
“I hope you’re right.” 

Felix opened his eyes and cocked his eyebrow at Jeongin, who was listening to the conversation as well. The men talking were fixing something on a cannon on the other side of the deck. Most of the crew was on the lower decks either running away from the sun and taking a nap or sorting out the storage reserved for the gun powder and cannon balls.   
“Rumors are rumors, mate.” Jeongin whispered, repeating the other sailor’s words. Witches and curses? Jesus, these pirates really were that superstitious. 

Felix closed his eyes again and let the sun caress his cheeks, press little kisses on his temples. He let the warm breath of wind mess up his orange locks, get caught on his shirt, catch on to his lashes. He let himself rest for a while. Just for a while. 

*** 

“Ahoy! Land ho!” A shout resonated through the air making everyone’s heads turn towards the way they were sailing. And sure enough, from the horizon rose slowly a peak of an island, green against the turquoise sea. Soon Felix could distinguish white sails in front of the island rising from the sea, and not only sails of one ship, but two. Felix’s gut twisted again. But why? He had nothing to fear. 

With the shout, a bustle began on the deck. The crew who had been working on the lower decks or relaxing in the forecastle rushed to the deck, everyone wanted to take a look of what was going on. Felix figured this probably wasn’t a very frequent thing to happen, the crew getting to work with other ships. Or having to sail to a faraway island to plan the heist of the century. Felix was quite sure that if the pirates were going to pull this off perfectly and manage to raid the whole of Los Galeones, they would get a huge reputation and a few armadas after their asses. The Spanish had enough ships and money for that, Felix knew that. 

And then the captain opened the door of his cabin and the bustle stopped for approximately three seconds, and then continued like nothing had happened. Felix quickly hid behind Hyunjin, who was standing next to him. Not that he needed to, but Felix would have rather spied on the captain from behind Hyunjin’s back than feel the captain’s burning gaze full of hatred at the back of his neck.   
“Sail close to the port and drop the anchor a few hundred feet away. We will take boats to the shore.” The captain’s rough voice pierced through the air. Immediately a few of the crewmembers dashed towards the boats hanging from the hull of the ship on the starboard side, untying most of the shrouds and checking that everything was alright. 

Felix could see the captain turning towards Chan, they were discussing something. Chan looked serious, his brows were furrowed, gaze focused on the captain. Changbin came out from the captain’s cabin, Jisung was following him. Both of the boys had their full gear on, swords and everything. They were probably going to the shore with the captain, and quartermaster, Felix supposed. 

They neared the island quicker than Felix would have loved to. He now noticed two other ships, a galleon with red sails a little further away from the port, and another, quite huge ship with brown sails on the other side. Euryale was the last one to join the festivities of the little island. Just like Tortuga, the whole city, or rather, village, was built near the shoreline, and behind it rose a wild jungle. The island seemed to have a little hill on the other side, and on top of the hill was some kind of building. It could have been a church, Felix wasn’t sure if Rum Point had once been owned by the English or Spanish settlers. Now it sure as hell wasn’t, now it was just a little… pirate town. How many other little towns and villages were there alike to Tortuga and Rum Point in the Caribbean? 

The island from Felix’s point of view wasn’t large, a few miles or so, but he assumed it continued quite far into the jungle length-wise. In the map it hadn’t looked all that small. But then again, the maps weren’t exactly precise and accurate. The closer they got to the island, the smaller the village actually seemed. The captain hadn’t been kidding, it was a little town of around two hundred inhabitants or so. Felix could see some animals grazing near the shoreline next to the town, most probably cows. And a few sheep. 

“Furl the mizzen sail!” Chan yelled from the quarter deck, followed by; “Furl the upper main sail!” Felix and Hyunjin, being close to the shrouds to the main mast got to work, climbed up to the skies. Felix was still a little slower than Hyunjin, the other boy reached the highest boom much quicker than Felix. When Felix finally slung his leg over the boom and hooked his another leg in the shrouds beneath him for support, Hyunjin was already halfway done pulling the sail up and tying it around the boom. Two ladies had come after them and opened the knots to release the sail from another boom it had been tied to. 

Felix pulled the sail up, followed Hyunjin’s lead in the knots (nearly lost his balance) and when he was done, he looked up. Hyunjin was looking at him, smiling.   
“Look at you, little sailor!” The words nearly caught on the wind, but Felix was close enough to hear them. He smiled at Hyunjin, whose hair was wildly dancing in the wind around his face, but he still looked somewhat close to perfection. Felix couldn’t really understand it, as his own hair was nothing but a mess right now. 

They both got down from the mast, only to get another call from Chan to furl the main sail. They were a lot closer to the island now. Felix opened a few knots from the largest boom close to him and the crewmen who had climbed up pulled the sail up. Felix turned to look back at the island. He could now see a string of smoke coming from a few chimneys. There were people on the shore, a few children among them. The atmosphere wasn’t as pressuring as it had been in Tortuga, Felix could already feel that. 

“Drop the anchor!” A splash, then iron rubbing against iron, clanking as the anchor sank down. The ships flowing started to get slower, just as it had done when they had made port on Tortuga. Jisung had once mentioned that it was also possible to just row the whole damn boat to the port, and a lot easier, but Chan was proud of his skills of making port by just letting the ship flow and slowing her down with her own anchor, so that was usually how they did it. It was also a lot less time consuming

“Some of the crewsmen will leave to go to the shore. The rest of you will stay here.” The captain’s voice was commanding, Felix turned to look at him as did the rest of the crew (he was still hiding a little behind Hyunjin’s back).   
“To the shore with me will leave Chan as he is the quartermaster, Changbin, and Jackson, since you have sailed with the Spanish.” Jackson, the one with both eyes still intact, nodded.   
“Lyanna and Bambam, you’re coming with us as well. Boom and Greybeard, you will be rowing the boats to the shore and staying with the boats until we come back.” Oh, so Jisung wasn’t going to leave with them? Quite odd, since he seemed to be the best charter.   
“And the landlubber.” What? 

Felix turned his gaze back to the captain, horrified. The man looked at him with disgust evident in his eyes, measuring Felix up and down, crawling underneath his skin, gripping to his heart with cold hands. Felix could see that the captain had tied a few golden and silvery pendants to his beard, he wasn’t sure whether they had been there before. The red feather of the captain’s hat swayed in the wind, golden jewelry glimmering in the sunlight. Then the captain turned away, not saying another word. 

“What?” Felix croaked out, hurriedly looking at Hyunjin next to him. Panic turned in the pits of Felix’s stomach, surged through his spine and made the hairs in the back of his neck stand up.   
“What? Why- why- why would they want me there?” Hyunjin looked just as confused. Jeongin hurried from the other side of the deck, where he had been standing with Seungmin to them. The boy took Felix’s hand in his own, and immediately Felix’s head felt a little clearer, the pressure on his chest seemed to let go.   
“Why does he want Felix?” Hyunjin whispered, asking from Jeongin.   
“No idea.” 

The calm didn’t stay for long, though. A few moments after Jeongin had taken Felix’s hand in his own, Chan tapped Felix on the shoulder.   
“Let’s go.”   
“Why- whydoeshewantme? I have done nothing why do I need to come? Please, Chan, you can surely say something.” Felix pleaded, he was scared, and the fear was laced to his voice, his shoulders were tense, he was on the brink of starting to cry as Jeongin let go of his hand and panic surged back to his veins. Chan looked at him with those sad eyes of his, full of empathy.   
“I’m sorry. Remember, only speak when you’re spoken to.” What? What the hell was that supposed to mean again? 

Felix turned back to Jeongin, who gave him a weak smile;   
“You’ll do fine, just do as Chan says. He won’t let anything happen to you.” Hyunjin nodded at Jeongin’s words and gave Felix a thumbs up and an encouraging smile, just as he had done the first time Felix had had to go talk to the captain. 

Chan pulled Felix from the sleeve of his lavender shirt to motion Felix to follow him. Felix, fear messing up his mind and anxiety clasping its cold hands around his neck, turned away from his friends to face the quartermaster, who nodded towards the starboard side of the ship, where the captain along with the called one’s of the crew were standing. Felix swallowed the lump in his throat down and followed the quartermaster, who, presumably would keep him safe, according to Jeongin. God, how Felix hoped the boy would be right. 

On the first boat went Jackson, Bambam and Lyanna along with the one who was supposed to row them to the shore, Greybeard. They climbed down the rope ladder hanging from the bannister against the hull of the ship, and once down, settled on the boat below the ladder. 

And then Felix realized he would have to go the same boat as the captain. And Changbin. He wanted to cry, even if it wasn’t the captain he was oh so fearful of, what could he even do here, ship full of crewsmen, no, Felix was more afraid of what was waiting for him on that island, the other crews, the infamous Scylla and captain Kai, who would certainly recognize Felix if he were to hear his name, as he sure knew who Charles Lee was. And Andromeda, Felix had heard of that ship, too. Ghostly white ship, sails bone white, just as Felix could see swaying in the shallows of Rum Point (blood of the unlucky sailors looked even more bright against those white decks, as the tale told). 

Boom was the first one to go down, a stout, a little ruddy man, arms full of faded tattoos. Built like a bull, strong as ever. He sat one the end of the boat. Then went Chan, and then, as Felix glanced at the two remaining pirates, it was apparently his turn. The captain shoved him forwards, nearly sending Felix head first into the sea below him, but at the last second he managed to catch on to the bannister. Quick, hasty movements he descended the rope ladder on to the boat and sat down on the bench. 

The captain sat down in front of him. Of course he did. The sea seemed to call Felix in even more than it had done previous days. Changbin was the last one to climb down, and he sat next to Felix as there was no more space anywhere else. Good. Nice. Perfect. Felix looked down at his feet, tried to make himself as small as possible to not to annoy the captain in any way. The sword hanging from his belt glittered in the sunlight. Felix realized he didn’t have his own sword with him. But he did have his knife, in case of the absolute worst happening. 

Boom started rowing in silence, following after the other boat. The swaying of the little boat wasn’t as calming as the swaying of the huge ship was. In fact, it was anything but calming, the waves were much closer and occasionally splashed over the edge of the boat, drenching Felix’s pants and shoes. The town got closer moment by moment. They didn’t talk, which Felix was actually quite glad of. He could still feel the captain’s pressuring gaze on him every now and then, but he didn’t dare to look up. Who knew, the captain could have just swiped Felix’s head off his shoulders with his sword if he were even to look at the captain a little funnily. 

When the boat bumped against the sands, Boom rose up and jumped off. Then he took the boat by the rope tied to the front and pulled as much towards the shoreline as he could. The captain was the first one to rise up, the rest of them followed along (Felix nearly tripped on his feet when he tried to jump over the edge and wet his socks when he jumped into the water). The other part of their small group was already waiting for them on the road leading to the city. Some townspeople had gathered on the shore as well, to stare at the ships, and well, at them. Especially the captain. 

“Ahoy! Captain Seo!” A yell came from the pier, a man with a fancy-looking jacket approached them. The man had a Spanish accent, Felix recognized it.  
“Are you the man they call ‘the Guide’?” The captain asked the man as he got closer.   
“That would be me, you may also call me Rico. I am here to take you to your meeting place, the Mansion of Madame Malice.” Malice? Ha! That sounded very comforting!   
“That is our heading. The other captains be already there?”   
“Yes, they are, Indigo was here an hour before you, others arrived a few hours ago.”   
“No time to waste, then. Show us our way.” 

And after Rico they went. Changbin and Felix were the last ones in the group, Lyanna was walking before them. Captain and the guide went first, Chan, Jackson and Bambam walked next to each other in the middle. Felix was pretty certain the whole town of Rum Point was out to see them. Who could blame them, it wasn’t every day they probably got some feared pirate kings as their guests. His eyes hadn’t betrayed him back in the ship, there were children, even small babies among the people watching their little parade walking through the town. Boys and girls of his age, older people. It was just a little, basic town, belonging to no one but themselves. Felix could see little booths and stalls, selling vegetables, meat, fish, everything anyone would need in their little lives. It was cute. Idyllic. Houses made of wood and stone, cattle, pigs, a few cats and dogs. 

And it would have been oh so fascinating if it wasn’t for the fear keeping Felix in its grip, increasing with every step he took towards the mansion. No one spoke apart from the Guide and the Captain in front of the group, and they were just talking about the city. Felix couldn’t catch their words, he was way too deep inside his own thoughts, trying to keep his posture straight, trying to keep himself from running away to the jungle surrounding the town, trying to keep his heart from bursting and trying to breathe. He was going to survive this. He had to. Jeongin had told him he was going to be okay. So he was going to be okay. Oh, how he wished the boy would have been there to take him by the hand and ease his feelings, take away the panic, the fear, everything. 

A turn to the left, then right, deeper into the village, again left to a little alley. In from an open door that had some sort of a skull attached to it. As it turned out, Mansion of Madame Malice wasn’t a mansion at all, but instead it was a completely normal tavern. Well, normal was an overstatement. The tavern was nothing alike to that one they had visited back in Tortuga. It wasn’t inviting, the light inside of it wasn’t warm, it was cold, and it didn’t light up the darkest corners at all. There was no smell of food made with love wafting through the air. There were no windows, just the cold light of the torches on the walls. And the walls were black, so pitch black Felix thought his eyes were betraying him. 

And the tavern was packed. Full of people. Full of people, that had stopped their talking the moment the captain had stepped inside, and now each and every one of them was eyeing their little group up and down. No one said a thing, Felix could only hear some distant murmuring, someone in the far corner whispered something to his friend and pointed at Felix. Oh no. Felix prayed to every god out there that the man hadn’t recognized him. 

Rico led them further into the tavern, walking first in line. Changbin pushed Felix’s shoulder, motioning him to go first, he walked last. The silence was filled with whispers now, everywhere. The captain didn’t say a word, he didn’t either care, or he enjoyed the unusual attention, instead of the crew there were the eyes of strangers of him, whispering about the things he had done in his life. There was another skull hanging on top of the door leading to the kitchen. And another one on top of the doorway they were going forwards. Instead of an animal, it was a human skull. Felix felt cold shivers traveling down his spine. 

Through that door to a narrow, musty hallway, and all of a sudden Felix was back in Mister Smith’s house, locked into that little closet, in the grip of fear once again. He took in a ragged breath, stumbling on his feet, tried desperately to get the image out of his head. Lyanna turned her head to glance at Felix, a little worried look on his face. Changbin gave his shoulder a light push again. 

A turn, down the steep stairs. The roof was so low that Felix nearly hit his head, and he wasn’t even tall. They descended to another narrow hallway with another door at the end. The walls were fully stone now, it was cold. There was one torch on the wall, illuminating the whole hallway with its flickering light. Rico opened the door at the end and let the captain pass first, then Chan and the rest. Felix could already hear cheering, or rather “Welcome, Seo!” accompanied with “Took you long enough!” And then it was his turn to step over the doorstep. 

The room Rico had led them to was larger than what the narrow hallways had made Felix assume. The walls were lined up with torches, the stone wall radiated cold. The air in the room was even stuffier than down in the hallway, as if the room hadn’t been used for ages. On the back wall was a huge shelf full of glass bottles and jars, they were covered with dust and spiderwebs so thickly Felix couldn’t see what was inside of them. 

And in the middle of the room was a huge, round table. And around it, were sitting four captains. Two women and two men. Captain Seo took a seat closest to the door, the one that had been left for him. Behind each captain was standing who Felix assumed to be their quartermasters, as Chan stood behind Captain Seo, the map in his hand. Next to the walls stood other members of the pirate crews, some were sitting on stools, some even on the floor. Changbin pulled Felix from his sleeve to stand next to the wall behind Captain Seo’s back, next to the door. Rico had already closed it. Felix hoped it wasn’t locked. 

Roughly opposite to Captain Seo sat Kim Kai, the captain of Scylla. Felix had never seen the man in real life, but he had seen a painting of him. And he knew that the man always wore red, as he did now. He didn’t have his hat on, it was left on the table next to him. Overall he was clearly younger than the other captains, he couldn’t have been more than six or seven years older than Felix. His obsidian hair was swept away from his face, golden necklaces glowing against his tanned skin. He looked like a Greek god. That was everything Felix could say about him. And this was the man that had once worked as a privateer under the English flag and was now a pirate. Perhaps it hadn’t paid well, or the English authors had been too strict. The quartermaster standing behind him was dressed in black robes and he had black crosses right underneath his eyes. Just like the woman back in that weird boutique in Tortuga, only her had been white. 

To the left from Captain Seo sat a lady with a tawny skin and a wild, curly brown hair. She was dressed emerald green and silver and her hat had a black feather. Behind her stood a rather young man, also dressed in emerald green, that somehow resembled the captain. Perhaps her brother? Between the lady and Captain Kai sat a little man. Little, as in his head barely reached Kai’s shoulder. But the quartermaster behind him? A huge man with two large swords on either side of his hips, differing with his raggedy clothes from his captain. The captain was dressed like an old English officer, long, blue coat and ruffles underneath his chin and all, the blue contrasting against the oddly white skin. Perhaps the man didn’t easily get tan, or he stayed indoors during the voyaging. Captain of Indigo, Felix guessed, as the remaining nameless captains were both women. 

On the other side of Captain Seo sat the other one of the ladies, dressed in white and gold. The captain of Andromeda, that had to be it, the white and gold gave it away. Captain Solier. Her skin was umber brown, glowing golden in the candlelight. Her hair was hidden underneath a large, white hat with a golden feather, but Felix could see some escaped strands of tightly curled hair tickling her neck. She had a hook as her left hand, and another lady standing behind her. The quartermaster of Andromeda was quite a lot older, there were a few strands of grey hair in her hair, but that only somehow increased her dignity. 

Changbin had let go of Felix’s shirt, he was now leaning against the stone wall behind their back, arms crossed on his chest. Bambam and Lyanna stood on the either side of the door, ready to attack if someone uninvited happened to walk through. Jackson stood on the other side of Felix. Felix felt naked. Exposed. He was in a place where he shouldn’t have been, and he was still scared, oddly aware that he seemed to be the only one without a sword in the room. He had been brought here for a reason, he was quite certain of it, but that reason was still unclear to him. Maybe he would find out. Perhaps they would sacrifice him as an offering to the God of the sea, or to the witch, as the men on the deck had talked about. 

Felix let his gaze roam around in the room, diverting from the round table. The five crewmembers of Andromeda, all women, were also clothed in bone white. Kai’s crewmembers were younger, just like Captain Seo’s, The men behind Indigo’s captain looked a lot older and rougher than the rest of the people in the room, and the members of La Concepción, as Felix figured the lady with the huge curls had to be Capitana Julia, seemed to be a mix of young and old. All of them, including the captains seemed to be intrigued by the newest additions to their little gathering, but none of them didn’t look too interested in Felix. None of them looked like a witch, either, except for the man behind Captain Kai. But what did a witch even look like? Jesus, Felix, when had he started to believe in such creatures, or in the rumors pirates told? There weren’t any goddamn witches in this room!

Captain Seo nodded, and even the lightest murmurs coming from the crewmembers standing behind the captains halted. Everyone turned their full attention towards the captain of Euryale, as did Felix, and somehow leaned harder against the wall behind his back, tried to make himself as small as possible, for the third time today. Captain Kai’s eyes flickered on him for a brief moment. Oh, Felix did not like this at all. 

“Let us begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooohohohooohoo, some action, if you will! (capitana julia and captain solier are gfs btw we love wlw in this household) 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/charmolypis)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/charmolypis)


	15. 15

“First of all, I’d like to thank you for answering to my call and for sailing here today.” Felix had never heard the captain speak in such a… soft voice. And it wasn’t soft. It was still commanding for attention, but it was evident that Captain Seo wasn’t talking to these people as if they were beneath him, like his crewmembers were, but equal to him. The captains nodded, nearly in unison. Captain Kai, who Felix could see most clearly, leaned against the backrest of his chair and crossed his legs. He seemed so calm, so relaxed. More relaxed than anyone in the room, more in control. 

All the dust in the air made it a little hard to breathe.   
“I have gathered you here today because you are the best of the best.” Approving murmurs from the crewmembers, as well as the captains.   
“And because I have a rather ambitious goal that I would love to reach. You all must have heard of La Flota and Los Galeones, the fine cargo ships of the Spanish fleet. Filled with riches, gold, silver, jewelry, diamonds, rubies, topazes, everything a man could ever dream of. Five ships heading to Spain, five ships richer than any English merchant ship sailing through the Caribbean. Those riches have left Portobelo yesterday and will reach Havana in a week.”

Again, nods. The quartermaster of Andromeda whispered something to her captain’s ear.   
“Los Galeones consists of five ships, all alike, all white with red sails with the Spanish colors hoisted to their masts. I’ve been told they have a crew of fifty or sixty men, armed men. Well trained, some of the best of the Spanish fleet.”   
“Rather ambitious this goal of yours, indeed.” Captain Kai spoke, interrupting Captain Seo.   
“Shouldn’t be anything but some good fun to you, Captain Kai.” Captain Seo didn’t sound irritated, surprisingly. Kai gave him a light smirk. 

“One ship for each crew, we’ll take them down one by one, starting from the last one, as it is the wisest move. But there is, unfortunately, a catch, and something that makes this plan even more ambitious.” Silence, until Capitana Julia opened her mouth;  
“What is it?” She had a strong Spanish accent, just as Felix had guessed.   
“All of my information is based on rumors.” The captain of Euryale voiced, and the crew of Indigo snickered, so did the crew of Andromeda. Captain Seo paid no mind to the giggles and whispers.  
“Rumors, that are mostly true. I have my sources, but I have never seen any of Los Galeones with my own eyes. The biggest catch is that their route changes a little with every sail. They sail from Tierra Firme to Havana, but the route is always a little different.” Chan handed the map to the captain. 

The captain opened it and set it in front of him, then slid it to his left to Capitana Julia, who studied it with great interest.   
“Now, I have heard a rumor. I have heard a rumor that says that this time Los Galeones will take the route closest to the island of Cuba.”   
“How can we trust a rumor?” Capitana Julia spoke once again.   
“We can’t. But we have nothing to lose.” Captain Seo sounded very certain of his plan;  
“They will be passing by the little bays scattered along the shore of the island of Cuba, which are perfect places for hiding.”  
“What makes you think there won’t be other pirates?” The captain of Indigo, the little man finally opened his mouth. His voice was surprisingly low compared to his size. He also had an accent to his speech, but Felix couldn’t pinpoint where he had heard that before. 

“Is anyone really brave enough to try to take down Los Galeones on their own? Anyone but us? You need many ships for that, and as far as I know, rest of the Brethren have no interest in going after Los Galeones.”   
“What about La Flota?” Captain Kai enjoyed this. Felix could see it. He enjoyed keeping the captain on edge, he had a light smirk quirking the corners of his lips all the time, he lazily glanced around the room every time he spoke.   
“My brother and Captain Bang with Odysseus will be going after La Flota.”   
“Two ships for one ship?”   
“La Flota is bigger and armed better. It has been tried to heist before, but not with two ships.” 

“What’s in it for us?” The captain of La Concepción slid the map to the captain of Indigo.   
“One ship for each. Everything the ship is carrying is all yours. Rumors speak of great amounts of riches, so everything that ship is carrying will be yours to take.”   
“And if the ships have divided their cargo and we will attack the one that has only fabrics on it, what then?” Captain Solier didn’t sound exactly sold to the plan just yet.   
“Then we’ll make a fair share. Every ship will get an equal amount of riches, but only if we succeed.” 

Accepting murmurs, nods from the crewmembers. Felix noticed the two ladies of Andromeda standing beside Jackson whispering to each other in a language Felix didn’t know.   
“It’s risky.” The captain of Indigo handed the map to Captain Kai.   
“It is, but I know that this wouldn’t be your first time taking such risks. How is the treasure of Cortez doing?”   
“Spent and used, remains hang around my neck.” The captain of Indigo grinned, his grey moustache hiding most of his teethy smile. Felix had heard of it, the treasure of Cortez, but he had never believed it was real. And they had found it?   
“Sailing in dangerous waters and facing nearly impossible opponents shouldn’t be a problem for you then.” The Captain obviously knew what he was doing, appealing to the captain’s achievements and pride. Smart.

Kai took the map to himself, studied it for a second. Capitana Julia and her quartermaster were whispering to each other;  
“How dangerous?” The captain asked, after the quartermaster had whispered something in her ear.   
“Just a few-“   
“Stormy seas. Mermaids. Whirlpools. Strong tides. Sirens on the shoreline.” Captain Kai cut Captain Seo off. He stretched his words, a little smile of a cat spreading on his lips as Captain Seo’s shoulders stiffened. 

“I see you know those waters, Captain Kai.” Oh no. Now the captain was annoyed, Felix had heard that tone of voice before. In fact, he had nearly lost his head because of that voice.   
“I’ve plundered a few Spanish and Dutch galleons there. And a few little pirate ships. The sirens sing pretty loud, you know, don’t go near the shoreline in Guadiana Bay.” He passed the map to Captain Solier, but instead of her studying the map, the quartermaster took it.   
“Tell me, with all due respect, Captain Kai, since when have you sailed alongside with pirates?” The captain of Andromeda cocked her eyebrow, lifting her chin a little. Ah. She didn’t seem to trust him, and by the looks of it, Capitana Julia didn’t either. 

“Since the English started to hang their own. Three of my privateer friends were hanged by the neck for treason and acts of piracy. All three of them had the letter of marque.” Kai glanced at Felix as he spoke. He knew. He definitely knew, and if he didn’t know, he had a hunch.   
“Ah, so you changed sides, then? Does the new job pay you better?” Captain Solier didn’t seem to like Captain Kai very much.   
“It does. And I don’t need to lick any aristocrat’s ass. And the English trade ships have quite a better selection of riches than the Dutch ones do, no offense to you, Captain Visser.”  
“None taken”, the captain of Indigo said. Captain Visser. And he was Dutch, that’s why his accent had sounded so familiar!

Captain Solier handed Captain Seo the map again, who in turn left it open in front of him. The torches on the walls made the shadows look like they were dancing against the wooden table.   
“Before we start to make any plans, I need to know that every captain around this table is on board. Despite our disagreements in the past.” For a brief moment Felix wondered what those disagreements were. Then Captain Kai glanced at him again and Felix felt his guts twist, the anxiety had gone nowhere. The room was way too tightly packed with people, people with swords, pirates, for Felix’s liking but here he was, between Jackson and Changbin, trying to seem as little and unnoticeable as possible. Yet still the captain of Scylla didn’t leave him be. He wasn’t looking at Changbin, not Jackson, not anyone else but Felix. Why? 

“Scylla is in, we have nothing to lose.” Kai said without so much thinking.   
“So is Indigo.”   
“La Concepción has nothing to lose either.” For a few heartbeats the ladies to Felix’s right were quiet, until Captain Solier spoke;  
“Andromeda will hoist the colors if Euryale hoists them.”   
“It’s settled, then.” 

“No rumors of our heading nor information will spread from this room after we are finished. The captains may only talk to their respective crews about our plans after all of us have sailed off, and I’d rather have you telling the details only after we reach the bays where we will be waiting. Just to decrease the chances of our plan leaking to the wrong people, especially the Spanish fleet or any unnecessary scavengers that may try to bother us.” Captain Seo’s tone was grim, he was dead serious. He eyed each of the captains one by one, measuring them up and down.  
“If our plan fails due to leaked information, I can assure you, Davy Jones’ locker has some free spots reserved for disloyal captains.” The threat was left hanging in the air, an unctuous smile spread over Captain Kai’s features, but he didn’t say anything. The captain of Indigo looked thrilled, excited, ready to sail towards Los Galeones on the spot. 

The Captain motioned Chan to give him another rolled up piece of parchment. He opened it over the map of the Gulf of Mexico.   
“I have a rather detailed map of the island of Cuba and its shores here, however, it is nameless and doesn’t show any towns or villages.” Captain Seo slid the map over to Captain Kai.   
“If Captain Kai would be so kind and point where exactly the waters are dangerous and which bays to avoid in case of sirens. Mermaids we can handle.” Kai took the map and motioned his quartermaster to give him something to draw onto the map with. The man gave him a quill but no ink. And then Kai drew a few circles on the map and wrote something, but Felix couldn’t see much from the place he was standing. But he did see that the ink was bright red, just as the shirt Kai was wearing. What in the world? 

Then he slid the map back to Captain Seo, who studied it for a second before giving both of the maps to Chan, who in turn spread them next to the captain and started, what Felix assumed, comparing and drawing notes on the original map of the Gulf of Mexico.   
“What do we know about the ships? Let’s start with that before anything else.” Captain Solier didn’t still sound too intrigued by the mission, more of a little doubtful.   
“Five ships, full of gold. Fifty to sixty men. What else do we need to know?” Captain Visser scoffed.   
“Everything. How many cannons? Guns? How do the Spanish men work in warfare?”   
“How huge the ships are, can we use gangways to enter the ship or do we need the shrouds.” Capitana Julia added to Captain Solier’s questions. 

“Jackson!” Captain Seo called, the man beside Felix straightened up and stepped to stand next to the table, between Captain Seo and Captain Solier.   
“Yes, captain?” There was no fear tensed in Jackson’s shoulders, he was completely calm. Much contrary to how Felix was feeling, as Captain Kai still kept on being interested in him.   
“You are the last on from my crew who has sailed underneath the Spanish flags. You were part of the armada, correct?”   
“I was, and I have also sailed with the cargo ships, but not with La Flota nor Los Galeones. I have never seen them, either, as their journey may take up to half of a year.”  
“Do you have any answers to the questions just asked?” 

Jackson huffed;   
“Spanish armadas and cargo ships aren’t known for their fighting skills, but rather their ambition. Their strong points are the cannons, since at least the man-o-wars had up to sixty guns a ship.”   
“Swordfighting?”   
“Not a strong point. I’d watch out for the muskets. Though, I’m not sure if cargo ships have those, or only the armada, but I wouldn’t be surprised if such mighty ships had a few real soldiers among their crew.”   
“So we can be sure they will fight to the last man standing?” Capitana Julia voiced.   
“Yes. Unlike the English, Spanish aren’t cowardly.”

Felix would have let out a laugh if it wasn’t for the company he was with. Oh, had he always pictured the English sailors as mighty men with no fears. Oh, had he been wrong if Jackson’s words were to be believed.   
“Perseverance and bad swords skills. Shouldn’t be too hard.”   
“Keep in mind that they’re exceptional gunmen, Captain Kai.” Jackson gave him a warning. The light smirk on Captain Kai’s lips didn’t fade. He seemed to be certain of his skills, and his crew’s skills.   
“We just need to get close enough, then. And aim to their guns with our own.” Captain Visser had seen many battles, Felix was sure of it. His hands had multiple scars, some of them so thick and long Felix could see them even if he was standing quite far away from him. Changbin shifted his weight to his other foot, brushing Felix’s shoulder lightly with his own.   
“Indeed.” Captain Seo agreed; “Thank you, Jackson.” 

Jackson nodded and stepped a few steps back, returning to stand next to Felix. And then Felix realized what was going to happen, and his legs nearly gave out.   
“Felix!” Captain Seo called. For a split second Felix couldn’t see anything, he could just heard the loud ringing in his ears, the adrenaline running through his veins as all of his instincts told him to run. And then Changbin pushed his shoulder again and Felix stumbled forwards to stand where Jackson had stood, between Captain Seo and Captain Solier.   
“Y-yes, captain?” With a quiet voice he stuttered, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him, measuring him up and down, oh dear lord. This was why he had been brought here. 

“Do you know anything of Los Galeones?” The captain asked. Of course he knew something, Captain Seo wasn’t stupid. Felix stared at the table, he didn’t dare to look up, not when he knew that Captain Kai was certainly staring at him and grinning to himself.   
“I- uhh…” Felix was desperately trying to recall what he had seen a few years back and what his father had told him along the years. He had spoken of the ships, sure, but what else had he said besides they were mighty and beautiful, and that one day the English navy shall have a fleet like that of their own? 

“I- I’ve seen the flagship, El Salvador.” And? What did he even actually know about the ships? “It… It’s quite large, if I recall right, it’s larger than Euryale.”  
“How much?” Captain Seo asked, his voice quite a lot sterner than when he had talked to Jackson.   
“Uhh… maybe by a deck or two. And it’s wider.” Captain Seo nodded, Felix finally lifted his gaze from the table. As he had guessed, everyone’s including the crews’ eyes were on him. What had his father told him about the Spanish treasure fleet?   
“Three decks. Cannons. Three decks of cannons.” Felix closed his eyes for a second and thanked his picturesque memory.   
“T-three masts. Much like a normal merchant ship.”   
“So the rumors of sixty cannons are real?” Capitana Julia asked.   
“Yes, miss. I-I mean c-captain.” Great! Just great! Felix could feel his ears heating up, pink dusting over his cheeks. Captain Kai snickered.

“Were there cannons on the main deck?”   
“N-not that I can remember.” Felix answered to Captain Visser.   
“Anything else?” Was there anything else? Wait- yes there was!   
“The- the hull, bottom of the hull is quite lengthy, the ships can’t sail to shallow waters. But the edge is sharp and that makes them fast in deep waters, faster than ordinary man-o-wars if the wind is right.” The more Felix remembered, the more confident he turned despite the blood thrumming through his veins so loud he could hear it. This wasn’t so bad. The captains weren’t going to neck him for giving information. Felix glanced at Captain Kai, who was still staring at him. Somehow his gaze was way more pressuring than that of the other captains, excluding Captain Seo.   
“During the first years of voyaging they had armadas sailing with them all the journey, but not anymore since the treasure fleet extends to West Indies as well and the tries to heist them were unsuccessful, and the ports in Spanish main aren’t large enough for both the treasure fleet and the armada. The armada will join the fleet once they reach Havana and continue from there to the Atlantic. The… the heaviest cargo is stacked on the lowest decks, lightest on the upper decks, so all of the gold and silver will be at the lowest and most heavily armed decks.” It was probably obvious, but Felix said it out loud anyway, just to fill in the silence, just to be useful. 

“You’re the son of Charles Lee, aren’t you? The governor of Nassau?” Felix took in a sharp breath and glanced at Captain Kai. What the hell was he supposed to answer to that?   
“Y-yes, sir. I am.” Felix decided to go with the truth. Kai chuckled, more to himself;   
“It’s the hair. I’ve heard of you, you know. They say that you’re the reason HMS Victory no longer sails.”   
“I-is that so?” Oh, how Felix wished he could make the stuttering go away but no, he stuttered every time he was nervous.   
“Mhm. What are you doing this far home, anyway?”  
“I think that’s enough. Thank you, Felix.” Captain Seo butted in. Felix swallowed and nodded, backing to his spot again. Kai’s eyes were still on him. He looked at Captain Seo for a moment before muttering to himself;  
“I see.” 

“Do any of the other crews have any information of these mighty ships?” Captain Seo turned the attention from Felix back to himself. A lady from La Concepción’s crew stepped up.   
“The former flagship, Urca de Lima was said to carry curses on its decks. What if these ships are cursed, too?”   
“Stories. No ship on these seas is cursed, and especially not that of a great catholic empire.” Captain Seo waved the lady off. In the back of his head, Felix hoped the captain was right.

“If no one else from the crews have anything to say, I’d suggest the others to leave and the captains and their quartermasters will stay here. We’ll make a proper and detailed plan and as I do not want any details to reach the wrong ears, it’s better for less people to know the plan for now. Madame Malice has promised to treat the crewmembers well upstairs and has reserved another room for all of you. Do not speak of what has been spoken inside of this room before you reach that other room.” The captains nodded and gave their respective crews signs to leave. Felix supposed all of them had been given instructions what to do in a situation like this, what to do if someone barged into the tavern with their swords out. Captain Seo turned on his seat and gave the crew a light nod. 

So. This was it? This was the whole reason Felix had been dragged to the island from the ship, the whole reason he had been scared nearly to death? Someone would have to remind him to not be scared of anything ever again unless the threat was real, as these pirates apparently weren’t that bad, and not keen on killing him just for being… him. Threatening, yes, but not in a way that would instantly kill Felix. The door back to the hallway was opened, and the crew of La Concepción was the first one to step out. Felix took a quick glance at Captain Kai just to see if he was still staring at him and was quite surprised to find him speaking to his quartermaster, not looking at his direction at all. Relieving. Perhaps he had got the answer he had wanted, Felix was indeed the son of Charles Lee. 

The men of Indigo left next, then Bambam and Lyanna exited through the door. Felix followed Changbin, still a little winded, still a little red from his ears and heart thrumming from the past minutes. He nearly stumbled on the doorstep. The air in the hallway was a lot colder than it had been inside of the room, sending chills down his spine. He coughed, the dust in the air was getting to him. Up the stairs, Felix ducked his head at the last second before it would have collided against the roof. The same musty hallway (oh, how it still reminded Felix of the one at Mister Smith’s house), and back to the tavern. And now the eyes were on them again. 

Rico was waving from the other side of the room where was another doorway to a room similar they were currently passing through, just not filled with people. Felix kept his head low, followed Changbin’s heels, careful to not look at anyone sitting on the round tables of the tavern. Felix didn’t really like this, if he was being honest. Not the stares he could feel on his back, not the fact that he’d have to spend time with the strangers in a room like that again, with no one to talk to since Changbin didn’t seem to fancy his company that much, everything was happening so fast again and Felix didn’t have Jeongin or Hyunjin to lean on. Whispers, whistles, laughter, someone tried to call after the ladies of Andromeda. 

And then Changbin’s heels halted and Felix nearly slammed against his back. Jackson passed by from behind them and gave Changbin a curious glance.   
“You don’t want to stay here, do you?” Changbin muttered to Felix, looking around. He seemed… a little uncomfortable.   
“It’s alright? I’ll be fine.” Felix didn’t want to stay, but he didn’t want to be a burden for Changbin either, he didn’t want the boy to dislike him any more than he already did (if he did), and if he were to stay, then so was Felix.  
“So you don’t want to stay. Good.” Changbin turned on his heels and marched towards the door leading out of the tavern. What? 

Felix quickly followed behind, even if he was alright with staying in the tavern, he most certainly did not want to stay there without Changbin, who was the only one of the bunch that Felix had talked to more than three sentences. Jackson called after them, but Changbin gave him just a wave of his hand as he exited through the door to the narrow alley leading to the tavern, nearly bumping to some man in the process. 

The outside air hit Felix’s face, it was so refreshing after the musty and dusty hallways and rooms of the tavern, he took in a long breath and held it in for a second before letting it out. The sun had started to set, still quite high but slowly bathing the island in warm, orange light. The wind was only a mere breeze in the air anymore. Changbin was already walking towards the main street of the village, hands deep in the pockets of his trousers, back a little hunched. Felix caught up to him, aligned his steps with the other boy. 

“Why didn’t you want to stay?” Felix wouldn’t probably get an answer, but he could try.   
“Because you didn’t want to?” Ah, so they were going this way with the conversation.   
“I never said I didn’t want to stay.”   
“You looked like it.”   
“Ah.” How endearing, Changbin didn’t want to stay because of Felix! Except that Felix didn’t believe the explanation, as he guessed Changbin most probably could care less of how Felix was feeling. 

They turned right from the alley to a slightly bigger street. There was another tavern, the doors open, inviting, unlike the Mansion of Madame Malice. They passed by those doors, Felix heard laughter coming from inside.   
“I didn’t like the atmosphere and I don’t like the crew of Indigo.” Changbin seemed a little more relaxed with every step they took away from the tavern, Felix could see it in the way his shoulders looked less tense, he held his head higher, he didn’t glance around him like he was under a threat all the time. Fortunately, Felix was the same. With every step he took away from that tavern the anxiety let go, unclasped its cold hands from around Felix’s neck, let him finally breathe.

“What’s wrong with them?”   
“They’re cocky. Imagine sailors who have sailed most of their lives and think they’re above everyone else. Not to mention they have zero manners and solve everything with swordfights.”   
“I see.”   
“And I bet they would have come after you when Kai told everyone who you were, I know Captain Visser holds some grudges against HMS Victory, too.”   
“Oh.” Well. How nice of Changbin. 

Felix hated that talking to Changbin didn’t flow as naturally as it did with the others. And yes, he knew that the reason for that was that he still didn’t know how Changbin felt about him. One moment he was just blatantly rude, one moment he was nice, then the second he was indifferent of Felix. They were from two completely different worlds, it was somehow even more concrete with Changbin than it was with the others. Felix had lived his whole life on that puny island, studying, living that aristocratic life with his family, Changbin on the other hand had spent his whole life in the seas, and Felix had no idea of his family relations of anything else. Really, he knew nothing of him. Except that he knew how to steer a ship and make good heisting plans. 

They turned left to a little busier street, silence between them. Busy was an overstatement, though, as there were only three people walking, a mother with her two children making their way somewhere. There were some chickens pecking grain underneath one open window. Felix had now more time, more focus to actually look around. The village was a lot less… modern than Nassau or Tortuga had been. The streets and alleys weren’t stoned, just gravel and sand, some mud here and there, it had probably rained a few nights ago, Felix figured. The colors dominating the whole village were earthy, browns and greens, the houses didn’t have any paint on. Nor were they two or three-floored, just basic little homes. With cattle and pigs and chickens in their backyards. 

A waft of something delicious reached Felix’s nose and his stomach churned. It had been hours since lunch, and he was getting a little hungry. Too bad they were alone, walking through a village towards what Felix assumed was the pier. He wasn’t certain they could row to their ship yet, though. They would probably have to wait for the rest of the crew, Boom and Greybeard most likely didn’t want to row the boats any more times than they had to. A turn to the right again, Changbin slowed down. Felix looked at him with a questioning look, but the other boy just shrugged his shoulders. 

Well, they weren’t in a hurry anyway.   
“You did better back there than I imagined you would.” Changbin broke the silence, and this time Felix looked at him slightly surprised. Okay, a lot surprised.   
“Oh? Thank you?”   
“My father was certain that you wouldn’t know anything about the ships as you’re English, and I’m quite sure part of him just wanted to bully you.”   
“Sucks to be him, then.” Felix was quite proud of himself.  
“Why have you seen the flagship upclose, anyway? Don’t they sail past your island to the Atlantic?”   
“A few years ago, something came up with the hull of El Salvador and they had to make port at Nassau because we were the closest one. Rest of the fleet and armada waited from outside of the bay while they patched up the hull of El Salvador and then sailed off.” Felix recalled those two days.   
“We went to see it, my father and I, as he had some business with the captain, but he didn’t take me to see the ship from up close, so during the night I escaped through my window to go see it with Eric. We nearly got inside of the ship before one of the guards caught us and we had to run off.” Felix cherished the memory, oh, how scared they had been back then, for nothing as neither Eric’s father or Felix’s father noticed they were gone, and El Salvador had sailed off in the morning. Felix didn’t notice the fond, little smile that had stretched across his lips. 

“Who’s Eric?” Changbin asked, he still had his hands stuffed deep inside of his pockets.   
“A friend of mine. Left Nassau a year ago to study in London. I don’t know of his whereabouts now.”   
“Part of better folk?”   
“Yes.”   
“Did you have many friends in Nassau?” Oh? So now Changbin was interested. Or just pretended to be to avoid the silence between them.   
“I didn’t. Eric and Margaret were basically the only ones I have had since I was a kid. And then there was this son of a blacksmith, but my father didn’t like it when I made friends with him. And then we, of course, had some relatives visiting and some my father’s friends from Port Royal with their children but I never really… fit in with them.” Changbin nodded. 

Talking about Eric and Margaret made Felix’s heart ache. He really did miss them, Eric even more since he hadn’t seen him in over a year. As of Margaret, their bond had changed a lot in the past years;  
“My parents wanted me to marry Margaret, so we kind of… drifted apart during the last few years.”  
“You and your marriages… Thank heavens I’m not a landlubber.” Felix snorted at Changbin.   
“I never really fancied that thought, either…” 

They lazied down the main street, the chatter of the bypassers stopping once they realized who Changbin and Felix were. Felix squinted his eyes, the slanted angle of the sun made it a little hard to see clearly.   
“Do you believe in love, then?” That was such a sudden question coming from Changbin. Felix thought about his answer for a while.   
“I guess I do. In some form. My mother loves me very much and she tells it to me every day and… I don’t know. I have never experienced it myself.” Felix shrugged. There was more to it, he had thought of love many times, he was curious of its very essence.   
“How about you?” Felix asked from Changbin in turn.   
“I don’t believe in it.” Oh.   
“Do you mind me asking why?” Changbin shrugged.  
“I’ve never seen anyone… love anyone. Every time someone on Euryale speaks of marriage, it’s always bitter and sad. Half of the men there have fled from marriage, so I don’t think love, or marriages, are real. They’re just… for finances.”   
“Mhm.” Changbin had a point. Love wasn’t the number one factor in marriages, at least not in higher classes. It was about money, about relations. It was more than just two people, it was whole families making an alliance. 

“It’s still a pretty thought. Love, that is.” Felix noticed a lady with wobbling feet walking towards them. She didn’t look like she was doing good, ragged clothes and a slouched posture.  
“Mhm. Pretty thoughts are rarely real.”   
“You don’t like looking at the world from a positive point of view, do you?”   
“I’m a realist.” Felix giggled. Alright. A realist.   
“How boring.” Changbin looked at Felix with a slightly offended expression, but Felix could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t serious. He couldn’t help but giggle again. 

And then the woman suddenly surged forwards towards Felix and grabbed his shoulders. Felix shrieked as he got startled, lifted his hands to his chest in defense, but the woman didn’t move, she just gripped Felix’s shoulders harder. Her eyes were milky white, her throat was rattling, she had black crosses right beneath her eyes. Those crosses weren’t the only ones, she had multiple others running down her neck as well.   
“You… you…” She finally croaked out. Her voice sounded like it came from somewhere far away. From another world. Like she was speaking with the voice of ancient gods. The air shifted, suddenly Felix felt very cold.   
“Little boy… so far away… So much pain…” The fingers squeezing started to hurt Felix’s shoulders. He was frozen in fear.   
“Oh, my sweet little summer child… Oceanbound… Your days do not lie within the King’s haven.” 

Then, as suddenly as the woman had appeared, she let go of Felix. She looked down, took a few steps back and lifted her gaze back to Felix. Her eyes were normal. They weren’t white anymore. They were bright blue.   
“Sorry, did I bother you? My apologies.” And with that she twirled around and walked back to where she had appeared from and turned from a street corner. Without wobbly feet. 

The moment she turned away, Felix felt warmth surging back to his body, his joints started moving again. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, lowered his hands from his chest. His heart was still pounding. Felix glanced at Changbin, who looked just as confused, and a little startled. He had brought his other hand to his sword.  
“What. The hell. Was that?” Felix half whispered, half spoke.   
“That. Sounded like a prediction to me.” A prediction?   
“What?”   
“A prediction. By a fortune teller.”   
“Don’t you need a crystal ball for that?” Felix squeaked.  
“I don’t know. Maybe it was just some malarkey by a crazy old lady.” Changbin’s words were a little comforting, but just a little. There had been something very unsettling about the woman’s eyes and her voice, they didn’t seem… normal, and Felix had never in his life seen anything like that. What did she mean by King’s haven? And how did Felix’s days not lie within it? 

“Don’t look too much into it, a clairvoyant once told me I’d find my way to the World’s end and I have yet to find that nor do I have any intentions on doing that.” Changbin brushed his black locks away from his face and continued walking towards the shoreline as if nothing had just happened, so Felix had no choice but to follow, despite his still thrumming heart. He walked just a little closer to Changbin and hoped no other fortune teller would grab onto him for the rest of the walk. 

“How are you so calm about everything?” Felix glanced around him, but the only people he saw were some children playing in the water and their mother watching over them.   
“You get used to surprises when you sail around the world.” Changbin sat down on the pier planks, they had reached the shore. Boom and Greybeard were nowhere to be seen, but the boats were on the shore along with other boats belonging to other ships.   
“But they’re not surprises anymore if you get used to them.” Ah, there was a tavern near the shoreline, the sailors were probably there waiting for the captain and rest of the crew to return.   
“Will you ever stop nitpicking about everything I say?”   
“No.” 

Silence. Felix sat down next to Changbin, as they had nothing else to do, really. They both stared at the sea, the sun was setting down slowly, the sky turning into even deeper orange. Felix’s heartbeat got back to normal, his arms still felt a little weak. The kids playing on the shore let out delighted screams every time waves washed over their little feet. The seagulls in the palm trees surrounding the beach were flying around screeching. Apart from that, it was quite silent, just the waves and the light zephyr. Peaceful. Beautiful. Felix pulled his knees to his chest, now that he wasn’t alert and stressing all the time anymore, the night shift started slowly catching up to him. He felt tired. So he had to come up with something to not fall asleep on the pier planks;

“What is your favorite place you have ever sailed to?”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooohohooo, time to stir the pot a little, changlix interactions!! as always, thank you so so much for reading this, my dear readers!! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	16. 16

“Singapore.” Changbin leaned back a little, propped his arms behind his back and let the gentle sea breeze tickle his neck.   
“What’s so good about Singapore? You all speak of it all the time.” Felix glanced at the boy. The setting sun made Changbin’s tanned skin glow in golden.   
“It’s the longest journey we have ever made in one go. Took months to prepare for it.”  
“Wasn’t there some kind of battle?” Felix remembered at least Jisung mentioning it before.   
“That, too. The English and Dutch made a deal and attacked the pirate port in Singapore. All of the pirate crews present, including the Brethren of the Coast worked together to defeat them, so, you know, a pretty good time!” Changbin grinned, Felix snorted at him. 

“So Euryale is part of the Brethren?” Felix had only heard stories of it, it was some sort of coalition between the pirate crews of the Caribbean. It had taken a long time for Felix’s father to start believing in it, as he couldn’t believe that pirates were capable of working together to exceed any sort of goal.  
“Yeah. Though, I wouldn’t be surprised if it would cease to exist during the next decade.”   
“Oh?”   
“Some of the older captains refuse to step down and choose new captains to continue the tradition, and the Brethren won’t accept new crews among them.”   
“Ahh. I see.” Felix nodded. 

“Are the other captains part of the Brethren?” Felix was referring to the ones they had met a mere hour ago.   
“Visser is. The rest are not. Their loss for not accepting Captain Solier as a part of their little elite group.”   
“How so?”   
“She’s one of the bests, if not the best. The rumor has it she once defeated even Calico Jack himself in a sword battle.” Oh. Wow. So she was that powerful, though if Felix was being honest, he wasn’t even that surprised. The lady exuded power unlike to any other captain.  
“She was also in Singapore. Sunk two from the Dutch armada. After the battle, the captains decided to have a little feast of victory and somehow that feast lasted for two weeks, which is also the reason why it’s amongst my favorite voyages I have ever been to.   
“So that’s why you all talk about it so much?”   
“Yeah. That. Never have I had that much fun as back in there. Imagine Tortuga, but a hundred times wilder.” 

That did not sound like fun, and Changbin could see that from Felix’s face. He bursted out laughing. 

Felix had never head Changbin laugh properly before. Clear and serene. Something tugged his heartstrings. 

“Though, in Singapore everyone was celebrating and clashes between crews didn’t really happen, so I guess it was a little more peaceful than Tortuga, in a way. Don’t worry, landlubber, you won’t most likely live long enough to see something like that happening ever again.” Oh. Because clashes between crews surely were the only horrible thing about Tortuga (and now that Felix had recovered from the initial shock, Tortuga hadn’t been that bad, it had been just fine until the nightfall).   
“Well, thank heavens I won’t live long enough to see it.” Felix mumbled, and this time Changbin snorted at him. 

“Why are you so against pirates, anyway?” Changbin asked after a few heartbeats of silence, out of sheer curiosity, Felix assumed. He was a little surprised by the sudden turn as he had thought he had concealed his dislike quite well, well, apart from being scared to death at times. And he wasn’t that much against pirates. Anymore. 

“Wouldn’t you be as well if your whole life you had been taught that they were the bad guys and to be feared?” Changbin shrugged.  
“Guess it makes sense. What did your father tell about us?” Felix shifted on his seat and turned to see Changbin better. He wanted to see his reactions (and to not stare directly at the setting sun). Changbin had his eyes closed, basking in the sunlight. He spent his whole life on the seas underneath the ruthless sun and still couldn’t get enough of it?   
“Thieves and murderers, scourges of the seven seas that we need to get rid of. Godless, filthy rats. To be hanged by their necks.” Directly from the mouth of Charles Lee. Changbin opened his other eye and raised his eyebrow at Felix. He didn’t look offended, but Felix guessed he had heard those words multiple times before.   
“Is it a murder if I’m only protecting myself from getting murdered?”   
“Not that I know of. And I don’t agree with him anymore.”

Somehow, it felt good saying those words out loud. I don’t. Agree. With him. Anymore. Felix was detaching himself from his father, he didn’t want people to see him as his father, or think that he shared the same views as his father did. Saying those words somehow… set part of him free.   
“Then what made you change your mind?”   
“You.” 

And then Felix realized what he had just said and hurried to continue;   
“I-I mean not you you, but like. You all. All of you.” Changbin giggled at his scrambling. Felix felt the back of his neck heat up. All was going just fine and the next second he had to embarrass himself again! Just great!   
“Oh I get it, I know I’m charming and nice and funny, no need to lie! You’re not the first landlubber whose mind I have changed.” Felix snorted and looked away. The rosy blush dusted over the bridge of his nose.   
“I met all of you and suddenly I can’t see you as thieves and murderers and filthy rats anymore.” Felix mumbled.  
“That’s because we’re none of that.”   
“Well, technically you’re still thieves.”   
“And technically I don’t give a damn because the empire already has enough, and I need to survive.”   
“Fair enough.” 

The empire did already have enough, Felix agreed on that. He had thought a lot about what Seungmin had told him back in the crow’s nest, how working on a cargo ship had been horrible and escaping to work on a pirate ship had been a life saver for him. Felix had in his past life questioned it a few times, why didn’t the rich help the poor as giving was always considered as a virtue, why did they let them suffer when most of the time the poor had no choice, no way of changing their position in the society. Felix thought it was dumb. It had always been, it still was. So maybe, stealing from the crown wasn’t that bad, it was perhaps a way of getting back at them, a way of rebelling. And a few ships didn’t even do that much harm. 

Apart of the people killed during the heists. That was the thing that still bothered Felix. A lot. 

The waves rippled underneath Felix’s feet, created little foamy patterns to the sandy shoreline. Felix could hear birds singing, laughter coming from the village. It was peaceful, really. Changbin lied down, crossed his arms behind his head. The sleepiness was getting to Felix, too, but he most certainly did not want to fall asleep in a place like this, with his luck he’d wake up next morning when the others had already sailed off, or the captain would be there to wake him up and Felix would die out of fright. 

“Do you miss your old life?” Changbin asked. He still had his eyes closed. Felix had to think of his answer for a while. Did he miss his old life? Did he really miss those same boring days with lessons in the morning and some mind-numbing activity in the evenings? Did he miss normal life?   
“I don’t. I miss my mom, though.”   
“That’s all?”   
“Yeah.” At least Felix was quite sure of his answer.   
“I’ve never met my mom.” Changbin voiced, Felix glanced at him a little surprised;  
“Oh?”   
“At least I can’t remember anything of her. The captain sometimes tells something about her, or well, used to tell.” Felix found it a little odd, how Changbin always referred to his father as ‘the captain’ and not as his father. Perhaps it was his father’s wish for Changbin to address him that way, as ‘father’ really didn’t bring that much authority to a person. 

“What was she like, then?” Felix pulled his knees close to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs.   
“Just an ordinary lady from a little town, that’s what the captain told me. I think the town was called Portsmouth. It’s in Dominica. Daughter of a farmer, if I remember right.”   
“Do you know if she’s still alive?”   
Changbin shook his head;  
“She’s not. Died of some illness when I was five, and that’s when my father took me and the ship and decided to return to the seas.” 

A few moments of silence;  
“I think he dreamed of some kind of peaceful farmer life with my mother on that island after I was born, sad that it was taken away from him.” 

Felix nodded, Changbin couldn’t see it. Sad, truly. That could have been a much more peaceful way of living, instead of the life of a rogue. But perhaps Changbin’s father also had that same pull towards the seas as Felix’s father and his grandfathers had had.   
“Have you ever wanted to live a normal life?” Felix asked.   
“Your normal differs from my normal.” Changbin lightly smirked. Oh, this was becoming a habit now. Felix snorted;  
“Have you ever wanted to live on land like most of the human beings on this planet, among a society and obey some morally odd laws that do not make sense?”   
“I’ve thought about it and come to a conclusion that, no, I haven’t, and I do not want to live like most of the human beings on this planet. Life of a farmer doesn’t sound that exciting compared to a pirate’s life.”   
“So you want wild heists and sword battles? Who says you can’t have that as a farmer?”   
Changbin let out a laugh;   
“Have you ever seriously met a farmer who knew how to handle a sword?”   
“I haven’t, but you could be the first one!” Felix smiled at the other boy; “I bet cows and pigs are even more entertaining than the untamed seas of the Caribbean.”   
“Oh yeah, for sure! Nothing more exciting than a herd of sheep escaping their field.” Felix giggled lightly at Changbin. The atmosphere shifted slowly, but surely to a less awkward one, little by little. 

Changbin had visited lots of places, places Felix had never even heard of. He told Felix how he and Jisung had got kidnapped by another pirate crew when they had been only ten years old (how come Jisung hadn’t told Felix that!), only for the captain sail to the rescue and destroy the whole damn crew and the ship. He had not only been to Singapore, but also sailed around the Cape Town and fled from mermaids on a tiny little boat with Seungmin and Jisung a few years back. Apparently, mermaids weren’t that bad, unless you had a plan to kill them or take something that was theirs. Unfortunately, Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin had tried to steal one of their little treasure chests and no, they hadn’t succeeded. 

Chan and Changbin were close, Changbin occasionally referred to him as the big brother he had never had. He sounded to be very keen on him, praising his sailing abilities (which Felix was a little surprised by, he hadn’t really thought of Changbin to be the one to say good things about people deliberately). Well, Felix was also surprised by the fact that Changbin was a lot more talkative than he had imagined him to be. He wasn’t the one to initiate the conversation, but once Felix asked a few questions here and there, he could keep the other boy talking. It was nice. Even though Felix did like to talk to people, he was quite shy among new faces, as he was still among his new friends. An observer, that’s how his mother had once called him. 

The older crewmembers were all a bunch of grandparents to Changbin, especially Lyanna, as she was the one who had taught Changbin how to use a sword properly. The captain apparently didn’t have enough time for that. When Changbin had been little, he had hidden in the captain’s quarters during heists, and one time nearly got killed because he had thought his father had entered, only for a member of the other crew to come at him with his sword drawn. After that Changbin had got himself an actual sword. 

“You didn’t know how to use one, did you?” Changbin asked Felix. Stick to the lie, darling. Felix felt the back of his neck heat up.   
“Ah, not really… I know how to defend myself but that’s it.” Changbin nodded.   
“That’s enough, for now at least. Maybe Chan will teach you some basic moves. Or someone else at some point.”   
“If I’ll survive what’s to come.” Felix answered, a little darkly.   
“Have a little faith! We’re going to be fine! You’ll prolly be in the hold anyway, we’ll just keep the Spaniards away from our decks.” Changbin sounded so sure of his plan.   
“That’s a promise, and if I die, I’ll come and haunt you and your little boat for the rest of your life.” Felix sure hoped the promise wouldn’t break.  
“Okay, deal.” 

A silence. The sun was just a little above the waterline anymore, painting the sky deep orange. The village turned quieter and quieter, the family was no longer playing on the beach, nor was there anyone walking on through the main street. Some distant chatter could be heard from the tavern near the shoreline, which was really the only source of sound left. The birds had also quieted down. Now it was just the even breaths of Felix and Changbin and the rippling of the waves. How long had they been sitting there now? An hour? Two? It couldn’t be more than that. 

“How about you? Did you ever want to live a normal life instead that of a landlubber?” Felix snorted at Changbin, he really did have some guts.   
“Normal meaning your normal? Yes, I did.” Changbin rose up from where he had been laying to a sitting position. He swept his hair away from his forehead, revealing the little scar again.   
“I wanted to be part of the navy.” Felix could hear Changbin snickering under his breath.   
“I wanted to be a sailor like my father was, I always dreamed of it. My grandfathers were both sailors as well, so I guess it’s sort of a family thing…”  
“Dreams do come true then!” Changbin smirked, Felix lightly chuckled;  
“I guess they do, only I’m not a fine officer on a navy man-o-war but a deckboy on a pirate ship.”   
“I’d say that’s an upgrade.” Changbin smiled, which made Felix smile, too;  
“I’d say that, too, if Seungmin’s words are to be believed. And I would have never become a sailor, my father wouldn’t have let me. I was supposed to be the next governor.”   
“Then this is definitely and upgrade.”   
“It really is.” And it was, Felix knew that. Never had he been able to see himself deciding where to put money and how to calculate taxes let alone collect them from the inhabitants, or sitting around a circle table with the other fine old men and go to meetings and gatherings all over the Caribbean. 

“Oh, they’re here!” 

*** 

Felix awoke to Hyunjin poking his cheek. Oh, how he wished he could sleep a few hours more, or just five minutes.   
“Mhhmh?” Felix whined and stretched his arms. His pillow had somehow ended up on his feet.   
“Morning, sleepyhead! Breakfast’s nearly over.”   
“Hrmmph.” 

It had taken them quite a while to return to the ship last night, as Boom had turned out to be absolutely bat-shit drunk by the time Bambam had gone to fetch him and Greybeard from the tavern. The captain had nearly made Felix row them back to the ship, but thankfully Jackson had saved him and told the captain that he could do it. Felix had had to sit underneath the captain’s pressuring gaze next to Changbin on their way back again. The night had already fallen until they reached Euryale, which was already in a sleepy slumber apart from Chan and a few others waiting on the quarter deck. Then Changbin had wished Felix a good night and joined the others and Felix had made his way to the crew’s quarters. 

“C’mon, I’m hungry.” Hyunjin whined back to Felix before grabbing him by his wrist and dragging to a sitting position.   
“And I want to hear everything about last night.” Ah. Yes. Last night. So eventful.   
“Mhmm.” Felix finally opened his eyes and looked at the boy standing above him.   
“Hello? Good morning? Is Felix home?”   
“Not at the moment.” Felix yawned. Hyunjin giggled, took a better hold of Felix’s hands and dragged him to his feet. Felix didn’t even try to fight back.   
“Jeongin, Seungmin and Jisung are waiting, let’s go.” 

Roughly half of the crew were still at breakfast as Hyunjin dragged Felix through the door. Jisung and Jeongin were sitting on the table closest to the door, Minho sitting on the other end of the table, alone, as usual. It was a little sad, perhaps, but Felix paid no mind as Hyunjin had told him a few days back that Minho preferred to be let alone (or was it just Hyunjin’s interpretation of the boy’s aura, Felix wasn’t sure). Felix stacked food on his plate before plopping down next to Jeongin. Jisung giggled at him, Felix shot him a questioning look.   
“You should have prolly looked in the mirror before you got out of the forecastle.” For a brief second Felix wondered if he had something on his face before Jisung pointed at his hair. Ah. 

With his other hand Felix tried to smooth out his non-behaving strands of hair but failed. Some wisps kept on sticking upwards, some curling on Felix’s forehead, some making little waves at the back of his head. Felix sighed, a little frustrated and started scooping some sliced fruit in his mouth (ah, how luxurious, only they would run out of fresh fruits soon and then it would be salted beans and bread and meat again). 

“So? How’s yesterday? The whole crew’s buzzing and no one’s saying a damn thing!” Jisung was basically vibrating with excitement on his seat. But Felix would have to bring him some disappointing news;  
“Nothing.” Jisung frowned, so did Hyunjin.  
“I don’t know much, and the captain told us not to talk about anything. I swear, I don’t know any more than you do!”   
“But what did you do there, then? Surely Cap didn’t just bring you for his own entertainment there.” It sure had seemed like that for a while.  
Felix snorted at Hyunjin;   
“He just needed me for information, that’s all.”   
“All?” Now Jeongin sounded disappointed as well.   
“Yeah.” 

All, excluding the bits Felix had heard of dangerous seas and little pieces of the plan. Though, he didn’t know if the captains had come up with a new one in their little colloquy after the crewmembers had left. Felix figured it was for the best for the crew to not know about the obstacles they would have to face on their way to Los Galeones, and he was quite sure there were more than just his friends’ ears listening to their chit-chat just now. One wrong word about sirens and half of the crew would rise to a mutiny! Or perhaps not, but Felix knew that sirens and mermaids were not on the Sailors’ Favorites -list. 

Jeongin looked at Felix a little suspiciously, and Felix was quite sure the boy saw right through him. There was something in those lilac eyes of his.   
“Did you meet the other crews?” Hyunjin asked, mouth full of some bananas the villagers had apparently gifted them.   
“Yeah. Or well, I stood in the same room with them, so I didn’t meet them in the correct meaning.” Felix recalled the room vividly, he could still taste the musty air in his mouth, clogging his throat.  
“Jackson said that y’all left for a feast after the meeting, didn’t you talk to them there?” Jisung was not going to let this down, was he?  
“No, me and Changbin left.”  
“You what?” Hyunjin looked surprised.  
“He said he didn’t like Visser’s crew so we decided to leave. Or he did. And dragged me out as well.” Felix shrugged and bit into his bread.   
“I know he doesn’t like them, but he isn’t the kinda guy to avoid them, the Cap wouldn’t approve that. At least he didn’t avoid them before.” Jisung and Hyunjin shared a look, and Felix couldn’t really understand what it meant.   
“That’s a little odd.” Jeongin said, mouth full of bread. 

“Yeah… I guess.” Felix trailed off.   
So he guessed it was odd, then. But Changbin had looked rather uncomfortable back in there? Was it something else?   
“What did you do then?” Jisung had finished his breakfast and had some breadcrumbs stuck on his chin.  
“Oh, we just sat on the docks and talked.”   
“Talked?”   
“Talked.” Felix left out the part where the woman had nearly made him pee his pants out of fright; “What? Is that unlike of him as well?”   
“A little. He usually keeps to himself around new people. I don’t think he and Minho have had any proper conversations in past five months Minho’s been on the boat.” Felix glanced at the boy eating at the other end of the table, but he didn’t pay no mind to them.   
“Oh. Well, he didn’t seem shy at all.” Okay, Felix was a little confused now. Or more than a little. 

Felix noticed the tiny shift in the air, how Jisung’s frown deepened just a smidgen. The others may have noticed it, too, as Hyunjin gave a slight nudge to Jisung’s shoulder just as a familiar yell resonated from the main deck; 

“All hands on deck! We’re heading northwest with full sails!” 

*** 

Felix could feel it, how the air surrounding the ship was tense. It was in the shoulders of the sailors, between shared whispers, it was in the wind, hanging off the masts, seeping through the little crevices between the deck planks. Anticipation. What was to come? Where were they headed, what was the plan? The only thing the Captain had said after they had arrived at the ship that they would first head north and then northwest, and that he’d reveal the plan when they got closer. Some crewmembers had tried to fish information from Felix, trying to bribe him with some gold, even, but Felix had stood his ground. His fear for the Captain was far bigger than his desire for riches. 

“Felix!” Chan yelled from the upper deck where he was standing with Jisung. Felix had just got down the shrouds, his lavender shirt’s sleeves rolled up just to ease climbing. He gave a little wave at Hyunjin before scuttling through the main deck and up the stairs, dodging the ladder two of the sailors were carrying by sliding underneath it. What would the quartermaster need him for? Felix hadn’t uttered a word from last night, had he? What if he had accidentally slipped something and someone had heard! 

“You knew how to read charts and navigate, didn’t you?” The quartermaster leaned against the binnacle. Jisung was smiling at Felix from behind the table, his back facing the way they were going.   
“Yeah.” At least he was quite sure he did, his mother had taught him some basics and some not-so-basics, just in case of an emergency, as she had explained to Mister Lee.   
“Since you know where we are sort of going, I need you both on this.” 

Felix walked up to the table to look at the map. It was the same one Chan had had back in the meeting, with the markings of the mermaid bays and all. Last time Felix had seen the map the writing had been red. Now it was rusted brown. Felix shuddered. Chan leaned a little closer in, so did Jisung.   
“I already briefed Jisung on where we are headed to. Now, I’d rather keep this to the two of you, don’t spread any information and don’t show the map. This crew isn’t very fond of what’s to come and it’s better that they won’t know of the siren bays until the very last moments.” Chan spoke in a voice so quiet Felix had to lean in even closer to properly hear him. 

“I need the distances between all of these.” Chan pointed out basically every bay on the shorelines of Cuba. “And these.” Some more towns. “And these.” The whirlpools and dangerous tides Kai had written on the map. “And the distances from those to the shorelines.” That was quite a lot.   
“I need approximate times, how long it would take us to reach from this bay.” Chan pointed out one of the bays closest to their whereabouts right now. “To this bay at the speed of ten knots. I need everything. Can you two do that?” Jisung nodded, so Felix did so too. Not too hard of a task, at least that’s what Felix hoped.   
“Good. Take the maps and go to my cabin, Jisung knows where the other maps are if you need some to compare them. This one isn’t accurate on the measurements. Don’t draw on that map. And don’t spill ink on it, please.” Jisung nodded again;   
“Aye, quarter master.” With a little twinkle to his eyes. And Felix nodded again. 

Somehow it felt good. Felix was being trusted. Chan trusted him on reading the maps, even though there were plenty of other people on the boat that could also do that (which made Felix wonder, why him?). Chan rolled the map and gave it to Felix along with a pair of dividers and gently tapped him on the shoulder. Jisung hooked his arm underneath Felix’s and pulled him along, down the stairs again, in from the door next to the kitchen door. Some crewmembers looked at them a little confused. 

Chan’s cabin was the door on the left, and just as Felix was about to ask whether Jisung had the key, the boy took the ring of multiple keys from his pocket. The same one Hyunjin had had with him when he had rescued Felix from the brig. With quick fingers Jisung fumbled the lock open and swung the door in. 

The quartermaster’s cabin was very much how Felix had imagined it to be. Messy. Not big, but not small either. Walls were full of cupboards and shelves, and the cupboards and shelves were filled with books, rolled parchments, empty ink bottles, quills, bigger bottles full of something Felix was quite sure he didn’t want to know, candles, lanterns, everything and more. In the furthest corner from the door was Chan’s bed (at least it was made) with some clothes strewn on it. Next to the bed was a huge desk with more parchments and ink bottles and books on top of it. A lone lantern sat a little too close to the edge of the desk on the bed side. 

Next to the door were a pair of closets, and right in front of Felix, on the other side of the room, windows, the sills a little rusted. Unlike in the captain’s cabin, Chan didn’t have any rugs on the floor, nor really any sort of decorations on the walls. No scary, blood-stained swords nor old, dusty skulls. He did have similar red curtains as the captain did, though, drawn on the either sides of the window. The air wasn’t heavy, it was quite fresh, actually, but the room was in need of some proper dusting and cleaning. Felix could see that Chan barely spent time on his room, besides occasionally sleeping. 

Jisung walked over to the table and lit the lantern with the matches he had fished from his pocket, pushing the lantern a little further away from the edge. He opened one of the drawers of the desk and placed a candleholder on the other side of the desk, lighting the candles on it as well. The window didn’t give them enough light to work in the darkest corner of the room.  
“Cosy.” Felix commented before stepping properly in and shutting the door after him. Jisung gave him a little laugh. 

Felix placed the map on the desk along with the dividers. Jisung searched a pair of maps from the shelf closest to the desk before sitting down on the stool in front of the desk. Felix took a seat on the bed. The legs of the bed creaked a little. Felix noticed that the bed cover matched the curtains.   
“Alright, I truly hope you weren’t lying about your skills ‘cause we have some counting to do.” Jisung didn’t sound as excited anymore. Nor was he vibrating on his seat. He stared at the map in front of him for a second;  
“Is this blood?!” 

Felix’s stomach twisted, but not as much as it had done before.   
“I guess so. Captain Kai wrote those.”   
“Oh man. That is so wicked!” Exactly. It was very much wicked. Jisung turned to Felix.   
“Chan told me basically everything that happened. I can’t believe we’re about to dive into the mermaid waters! How exciting!” Anything but that. “Did Captain Kai actually talk to you in the meeting?” Oh, so Chan had really told Jisung every. Thing.   
“Yeah, I mean, he didn’t talk much, and the Captain cut him off but yeah.”   
“He is so scary! But so fancy and so handsome! Was the scary quartermaster there too?”   
“Yeah, the one with the crosses below his eyes?”   
“Yes, him! He’s a witch, so I’ve heard, and this blood on this parchment just proves me I’m right.” Jisung sounded exhilarated again. He really went from zero to hundred in mere moments. 

Perhaps Felix was ready to believe that Captain Kai’s quartermaster was a witch, because he sure had been scary, and Felix had yet to come up with an explanation as to why Kai had written on the map with blood without dunking his quill anywhere.   
“Anyway, he’s just very neat and I have heard many stories of him, and he can kick ass! You take these parts and I’ll try to calculate the distance between our whereabouts now to the first bay and then we’ll work on the bays closer to Havana.” Felix nodded and took the quill and bottle of ink Jisung handed him. Felix moved the lantern a little, careful not to burn his fingertips and laid another map out in front of him. There he drew little lines from place A to place B where he needed to calculate the distances. And then he got to work. 

He was good at this. He could still do this, measure the distances with the divider, turn them from mere inches on the map to miles in the real world. Felix felt pure glee, his mother had taught him right, and despite his style differing a little from Jisung’s, they still got the same results in the end. Only Felix’s counts were a little more accurate. Yes, he was still a little slower than Jisung who was used to this, but not much. 

Felix got so engulfed to his work that the next time he tore his eyes away from the map was when Chan knocked on the door and asked them how their work was going.   
“Just fine!” Jisung smiled at the quartermaster and turned back to the maps in front of him. 

Jisung had a habit of mumbling under his breath when he was focused, Felix noticed. It didn’t really bother him, as it was so easy for Felix to focus on interesting tasks even in loud noise. He wasn’t even bothered by the clamor coming from the decks, nor the wind picking up, swaying the ship more. 

But after a while the mumbling stopped, and that Felix did notice. He lifted his gaze from the maps just to find Jisung staring at the parchments in front of him, completely unfocused. His quill was dripping ink to the parchment he had been writing the measurements on (so he wasn’t completely illiterate). Felix realized that Jisung hadn’t talked anything apart from the outburst when they first had arrived, and that was rather odd. Felix would have expected Jisung to talk about something, anything. Felix knew the task at hand didn’t require as much focus from Jisung as it did from Felix, and Jisung had always to say something about everything. Why was he so quiet? 

And dripping ink on the parchment, staring in front of him, biting his lower lip? 

“Are you alright?” Felix quietly voiced. Jisung visibly snapped out of his thoughts.   
“Y-yeah. Just. Uhh. A little tired.” Felix didn’t believe that. Jisung had been fast asleep when they had returned last night and only woken up mere minute before Felix.   
“Okay.” 

A few moments passed, Felix had turned back to the maps. He was nearly done, but the lack of Jisung’s mumbling was now bothering him. He lifted his gaze again and placed the quill carefully next to his parchment.   
“Seriously. Something’s bugging you.” Jisung frowned at Felix’s words.   
“I’m fine.”  
“No, you’re not. Look, I haven’t known you for long, but I know something is bothering you. What is it?” 

Jisung shrugged and finally let his own quill drop on the desk. He leaned against the backrest of his seat. A few heartbeats of silence; 

“He talks to you?” Who? Felix raised his eyebrow at Jisung;  
“Changbin, I mean. He really talks to you?”   
“Yeah? How so?” 

Jisung crossed his arms on his chest and huffed.   
“What does he talk about?” What?   
“Just… I don’t know, normal stuff? It’s not like we have had some deep heart-to-heart conversations,” at least, sort of, “I’ve just tried to get to know him more.”   
“But he talks to you and tells you about himself?” Jisung’s normal smiley, happy self was gone, and Felix didn’t like the sight of that at all. Was Jisung mad at him? Or Changbin?   
“Y-yeah? I’m not sure if he would talk to me if I didn’t ask him any questions, though.” 

Jisung nodded, ran his fingers through his hair to push the black locks away from his forehead.   
“It’s just… I don’t know. He’s been quite distant lately.” Hadn’t Hyunjin had mention something like that before? Way before? Jisung sighed, the atmosphere of the room turning to a sad one.   
“You know… We used to be the best of besties, him and I, always doing everything together, but now… he barely talks to me. He just sits in his dad’s cabin or his own or steers the wheel and we barely see him anywhere, and now suddenly you’re here and he talks to you.” 

Oh.   
“I just don’t know, mate, I’ve tried to ask him what’s wrong, but he just says that he’s fine and he’s busy, but how busy can you be on a damn boat that doesn’t have much to do apart from the daily tasks?” Felix understood now. He felt sorry for Jisung.   
“He doesn’t talk to Hyunjin or Seungmin either, just shrugs them off. The only one he really spends time with is Chan, but Chan won’t say anything.” Oh no.   
“Maybe he has just started to hate me or something.” Jisung frowned, biting his lower lip. 

“I don’t think so.” Felix tried to comfort the boy;  
“Yesterday he told me about your little adventures together, the one where you tried to escape mermaids with a boat.” Jisung cocked his eyebrow at Felix, a little surprised by the information.   
“He did?”   
“Yeah, and he told me about Singapore. And look, I don’t really know him at all, but to me he sounded pretty fond of you. You know, he spoke of you how I speak of my best friend.”   
“Who’s your best friend?”   
“Eric, the one who studies in London.”   
“Ah, that guy.”   
“Yeah.” 

Silence.   
“Perhaps he really has something on his plate right now? Maybe you should try to corner him with Hyunjin and Seungmin and really ask for an explanation if his behavior is that odd.” Jisung nodded.   
“Maybe we’ll do that.” 

“If it makes you feel any better, I think the reason he talks to me is because I come from somewhere entirely different than he does and he’s just curious. It’s not everyday he, and all of you, meet a governor’s son from Nassau who’s really never sailed and drinks afternoon tea with the king.” The last bit made Jisung giggle a little, turning the air a little lighter again.   
“You’re not the first noblety he’s come across so you can get off your high horse. Maybe he just wants some new friends and is bored of us.”   
“Or get to know the king’s secrets.”   
“Or maybe you’re just that charming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one:  
felix: fuck capitalism 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	17. 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason the formatting in this chapter is a little odd and idk how to fix it, please excuse me!

Wind was picking up. The ship swayed from side to side a little harder than peacefully. The sails were filled with wind, rustling and swishing, the wooden planks of the decks creaked every now and then. Clouds had covered the sky, morning’s sunlight nothing but a memory now. Luckily it still wasn’t cold, but Felix knew it would be during the night, thank goodness he didn’t have a night shift.

They would reach one of the chosen bays by tomorrow. Then they would hide behind one of the little isles of that bay until the flagship of Los Galeones, El Salvador, the pride of the Spanish armada would pass the bay just by dawn (if the rumors were to be believed) and with the help of the darkness they would attack. That’s what Felix had heard, and that’s what he could piece together from the little bits of conversations he had heard and the places him and Jisung had thoroughly examined through multiple maps a few days back. He just wasn’t sure which bay.

The sailors were getting restless. Everybody was on their toes; Felix could sense the tension in the air. Last night Chan had had the whole crew sharpening swords again, checking the gunpowder storage thrice and then cleaning the guns. Again. For the fourth time. And the crew still didn’t know the whole plan. Chan was clearly on edge, too.

Felix was sitting next to Jeongin on the main deck in between a pair of cannons, leaning against the bannister, fidgeting. Glancing around with a lump in his throat, a lump that had only been growing for the past days. He was scared. More scared than he had ever been. And it wasn’t that sort of panicky fear, it was the fear of the unknown but inevitable. He would have to fight. He would have to fight for his life. And the Spanish were good, fearless swordsmen who would do everything in their might to protect their ship, their pride. And Felix was afraid of exactly that.

They were just sitting in silence, waiting for the bell to ring for dinner, Hyunjin and Jisung were in the hold doing some last-minute check-ups. Last night Felix had seen Andromeda in the horizon. They had passed a few bays, including the infamous Guadiana Bay, filled with mermaids. They hadn’t seen any. Nor did any of the crewmembers seem any more restless than usual, so perhaps, the tales of the mermaid bay had just been bull.

Felix hadn’t seen even a trace of Changbin in the past days, either. Seungmin was also unusually quiet (not that he was that talkative normally), just doing his kitchen tasks in silence, shooing Jeongin and Felix out after they had tried to stay with him after every lunch and dinner. Minho still didn’t talk to Felix. And now him and Jeongin were also running out of things to talk about.

Jeongin was also deep in thought. When they had passed Guadiana Bay, the boy had just stood there, stared at the sea, not responding to anything. Felix had found it quite odd until Hyunjin had told him Jeongin sometimes did that, nothing out of ordinary. Sangyeon walked past them, arms full of pistols and Felix hoped to God they weren’t loaded. He gave them a smile and a nod before descending the stairs to gun deck.

Rumors. The ship was filled with rumors, and even Felix had heard most of them. Max had even chatted about them with Felix last night, since most of the rumors considered a certain French ship that’s only aim was to sink every pirate ship out there, and Max had thought Felix would know something about that ship. Multiple pirate crews had already been sunk to Davy Jones’ locker by that crew. Felix wasn’t sure whether to believe the rumor to be true or not, as Frenchmen weren’t that usual sight on the stormy seas of the Caribbean. They had some isles yes, some main, but they were more focused on East Indies and Africa. And they certainly were not known to be the ones to battle with pirates.

Unfortunately for Max, Felix had never heard of such ship. No one knew what it was called, just that it continued the mission HMS Victory had left unfulfilled. Or well, it was just a rumor. Some of the crewmembers of Indigo had spoken about it at the little feast, and naturally the present members of Euryale had brought the rumors with them to the ship. And now everyone was scared of that ship, and the upcoming heist. Though, the crew wasn’t scared of the heist, Felix was.

The pair doors of the quarter deck swung open, and in seconds everyone was on their feet, running from the forecastle and kitchens, from beneath the decks to the main deck. Everyone, including Felix and Jeongin. The captain, heels of his shoes clattering against the floorboards looked even more grim than usually, he was exuding such power Felix couldn’t put it into words.

The hem of his jacket swung in the wind, air catching to his pants as he spoke;  
“Sailors. It is time.” The murmur stopped. Chan appeared from somewhere behind the captain to stand next to him. Surprisingly, Changbin didn’t join the two of them.

“It won’t take us even a day to reach the place we are headed to. After that, it is up to Andromeda, Indigo, La Concepción and Scylla whether our plan will fail or not.” A silence, only for a few seconds. The captain leaned against the railing of the quarter deck, the helm behind him;  
“There are multiple bays along the shoreline all the way to Havana, and each of the crews have picked our own to stay and wait in. Our bay will be the last one before Havana, the Sirena Bay.”

Whispers spread like wildfire. Suddenly the air was full of questions, panicky yells. Felix gazed across the deck only to see Seungmin looking at Hyunjin, clearly scared. He grabbed the taller boy by his hand, only to pull away in the next second.

“Sirena Bay?! That’s filled with sirens!” One of the elder members shrieked.  
“Are ya tryna get us killed?” Other yell, this time from Jia.

The captain looked annoyed. Perhaps not the reaction he had anticipated.  
“Are you not sailors of Euryale? Men of Captain Seo?!” He shouted back at the crew, silencing every single one of the panicked hums.

“What’s a few bird ladies going to do to you? Have you not sailed past the siren songs before? Do I need to remind you of Gibraltar?” Pacing, the crew was glancing at each other, agitated.

“Are you not aware we sailed past the Mermaid Bay a few hours back? Did you see any bloody mermaids?” Silence.

“Did you?!” The captain yelled and got an answer from One-eyed Jackson;  
“No, captain!” He didn’t sound afraid, not at all, in contrast to the rest of the crew.  
“Then what makes you think Sirena Bay is filled with sirens?”

“I-it’s called the siren bay, captain.” A young man Felix didn’t know the name of, said with a shaky voice. He probably didn’t talk to captain much. Or most likely, he had never spoken to the captain.

Captain Seo peered down at the man from where he was standing.  
“What’s your name, boy?”  
“J-Jacob.”

“Jacob. Do you think I do not know what ‘Sirena Bay’ means?” Oh lord, Felix could hear the annoyance dripping from the captain’s voice.

“N-no, captain.”  
“Then shut your fucking mouth.”

And the young man sure did shut his fucking mouth. The captain lifted his gaze, scanning through the whole crew standing on the main deck, certainly not missing Felix.

“You moldy bilge rats. Do you think we would be sailing to Sirena Bay if we had any other choice? Have you forgotten how to stuff wax in your ears in case of a siren’s song? Sirens are an easy enemy compared to a mermaid.”

“We are sailing towards El Salvador, the greatest and finest ship of the Spanish armada, do you understand that?”

“Aye, captain.” The crowd mumbled.  
“Do you?!”  
“Aye, captain!” Felix couldn’t believe it, but he was mumbling along with the rest of the crew.

“There are riches you have never been even capable of dreaming of inside that ship. Do you understand that?”  
“Aye, captain!”  
“Let me rephrase my question, are you going to let a few bird ladies stop you from getting those riches?”  
“No, captain!”

The crew turned from a panicky mess to a collected crew, shaking off the fear of sirens off their shoulders. Felix admired that. He admired the captain, how he could talk so easily, how he could manipulate the crew, mold it like putty in his hands. How he had the power, and how he used it. He could see it, he could finally see how, and why Euryale was so successful, how it had earned its reputation as one of the scourges of the seven seas.

“After we reach the Sirena Bay, we hide. We wait. And when El Salvador sails past, we attack. If, and only if Andromeda, Indigo, La Concepción and Scylla have succeeded, El Salvador will sail past us. If even one of them have failed and El Salvador has got a warning, they will change the route.” Nods. Agreeing murmurs, someone cursed under their breath.

“We attack at night, just before dawn and pray to every god out there that it is cloudy, and they won’t see us. When we approach, I need every. Single. One. Of you. To stay quiet. No one moves. No one says a damn thing. When Chan commands you, you may speak again. And then you fight.”

“We will do the attack as we would normally. Attach ourselves to the ship, first wave jumps over, the second right after, wait, third and fourth. Gunmen will be in the hull, and there will be more sailors to protect you.” Felix had no idea what a normal attack nor the waves meant, but the captain’s voice was so hypnotizing he found himself nodding along with the crew.

“Places will be given to you night before.”

“Now.” The captain’s demeanor seemed to calm down a bit, his voice lowering.  
“You know my rules. Dead men tell no tales.” The whole crew was holding their breaths.  
“But I want this tale to be told.”

“I want you to leave one man alive. I want him to wash ashore in Havana, I want him to tell the tale of Euryale to those filthy admirals, I want them to come after us. I want to break their dreams of an untouchable armada; I want to break their delusions of them being the Kings of Caribbean.” Excited mumbling.

“Who are the Kings of Caribbean?” The Captain yelled again.  
“We, captain!”

“Aye. We. Pirates. We are to be feared, and we have the power.”

Felix didn’t want to admit it, but he could feel it, too. The power. The fear turning into something he didn’t know the name of. Like he was ready to take down El Salvador, to heist its riches, to sink it down to the bottom of the sea with the rest of the crew of Euryale.

“After each but one is killed or thrown overboard, I want all of the riches transported here. Take everything you can. Quickly. Because I have a hunch that Captain Visser might want a little more gold than he will get from the first ship. After that, we will sail off, and we will get the Spanish fleet after us. And we will have to elude them, get rid of them, and that won’t be easy.”

“The sail so far has been nearly effortless, but it won’t be that after the heist. I have made us a route that will zigzag through the coast of Cuba before taking off to the vast open. We will face whirlpools. We will face strong tides and winds, and we will have to be careful. We will have to sail to places the fleet will not dare to. And only after that will we celebrate. Do you understand?”  
“Aye, captain!” A little hesitant, but Felix yelled it nevertheless along with Jeongin.

“Now. I want you to rest. Sleep. Eat. Get ready. For tomorrow our heist begins.”  
“Aye, captain!”  
“Do you understand?”  
“Aye, captain!”

“For Euryale!”  
“For Euryale!”

The last words sent chills down Felix’s spine, he was gripping the bannister behind him. For Euryale. He was doing this for Euryale. The captain nodded and with a wave of his hand, walked back to his cabin and banged the door shut. The crew burst into a clamor, incoherent yells and cacophonous prattling. Felix took in a shaky breath, that had sure been a lot.

“You heard the cap! Seungmin, is dinner ready soon?” Chan shouted from the quarter deck.  
“In a minute!” Seungmin answered and turned back to the kitchen, Raul after him. Hyunjin and Jisung strode over to Felix and Jeongin.

“That was something, huh?” Jisung smiled from ear to ear, clearly more than ready for the next day. Hyunjin looked… cautious. And confused.  
“Yeah...” Felix tried to smile. Tried to. And then he remembered, despite all of the fine thing the captain had said, that he would have to fight. In worst-case scenario, to kill. In another worst-case scenario, to die. What was the policy with injured crewmembers here? Were they thrown overboard? Or just left to die? Felix hoped he wouldn’t have to find out.

***

Felix couldn’t sleep. No surprises there. He was tossing and turning, restless. Jisung was in a deep sleep beside him, so was Max on the other side. Felix was quite sure he was the only one awake, it had been hours since the last crewmember returned from the main deck to the forecastle. Somehow the snoring around Felix was irritating him even more than normally, usually he could sleep just fine due to being so tired after working for hours on the ship, but the past few days it had taken him way too long to fall asleep. He couldn’t shut his thoughts off. And when he did, he only had nightmares of what was to come, and usually they ended up in Felix getting either thrown overboard or a sword piercing through his skull.

Felix huffed and rose to a sitting position, threw the blanket off of him. Perhaps a little walk outside would take his mind off of things, it wasn’t like the sleep was going to take over him soon anyways. Felix rose to his feet and fumbled his way through the sleeping crew to the door before creaking it open, as quietly as he could. The deck was even darker than usually, all of the lights had been shut off to not alert nearby villages and towns that they were passing by. The moon was covered by an overcast, the darkness around Felix looked engulfing, the only thing that gave away that they were sailing towards the Sirena Bay was the rippling of the waves and the swaying of the ship. The wind wasn’t as harsh as it had been during the day, but the sails were still mostly filled with wind, pushing the ship forwards along the coastline.

Felix tiptoed close to the edge of the ship and glanced up. The sails covered the crow’s nest, but Felix knew Johnny was on the look-out for tonight. Sangyeon was steering the wheel for most of the night, or so Felix had heard, and Chan would take over in the morning. A zephyr ruffled through Felix’s hair, Felix swept away the locks from his forehead.

It was kind of funny, how it had already been three weeks. Three weeks ago he had been taken away, kidnapped to this ship, and during those weeks he had sailed around the Caribbean, facing fear after fear, and now he would have to face a new one again. It twisted his gut. Made him anxious, made his skin crawl. Despite his friends telling him that he was going to be just fine, they would all survive and in a week they would be celebrating, Felix had a bad feeling. They were going against El Salvador. A ship filled with the best sailors of the Spanish fleet.

It wasn’t going to be as easy as the captain made it sound to be. What if the four other crews failed? What if Los Galeones had changed their formation, what if they sailed all in a beautiful row instead of a long line. What if the captains of the first ships would notice the last one going missing in the beginning of the night and would change their route? What if the rumors Captain Seo had collected were false and there was a whole fleet following the cargo ships, not waiting in Havana like the rumor told? What if they wouldn’t be able to get away fast enough and the fleet would reach them and Felix would be remembered as the ‘Nassau’s governor’s son that drowned in front of Cuba due to Spanish fleet sinking their pirate ship’? What the hell was waiting for him after death?!

The cold was seeping into Felix’s bones, his breath got stuck in his throat. He couldn’t panic now! Felix gripped the shrouds, stared at a far-away light source passing by in the horizon (what if that was El Salvador?), probably a merchant ship on its way to Havana. He was going to be fine, right? The captain would put him in a position so that he wasn’t going to get killed? He couldn’t risk killing him in a battle in case of Charles Lee weighing anchors and sailing after Felix

He was going to be fine. Chan knew he didn’t know how to use a sword, so he would be a gunman, right? And they wouldn’t even need cannons until the fight would be over, they would just need them to sink the ship. Unless the Spanish would fire cannons at them first, then they would naturally need them. So, technically Felix wouldn’t have to kill anyone, if he didn’t even touch the cannons and would let everyone else do the work, right? He didn’t want to kill anyone, not even those Spaniards that had stolen islands from England and were ‘oh-so-disgusting’ according to Charles Lee. But Charles Lee had been wrong about pirates, hadn’t he? Why would Felix believe that he would be right about Spanish sailors, then?

Felix took in a breath, held it for a second before blowing it out, relaxing his muscles. He was going to be fine. He would most probably have Jeongin with him, he was going to be fine. Jisung was in the first wave, the most dangerous one, as he had explained at the dinner. Hyunjin was in the second, Seungmin was a gunman (can’t lose another fine cook, according to Jisung). Chan was whichever wave he felt like diving into, usually fourth as he was commanding. Captain was in the third, so was Changbin. Some crewmembers were going to stay in the ship along with gunmen, in case the Spanish would take over.

They would be in charge of exploding the ship in the worst case. Felix dreaded that the most. He would be one of those.

“What about then? What if we fail?” Felix stopped in his tracks, he had wandered to the quarter deck side of the main deck. He recognized Chan’s voice.

“We retreat, if we have time. I don’t want to lose Euryale.” The captain. Felix quickly hid in the shadows below the stairs leading to the quarter deck. It seemed like the two hadn’t noticed him.

“The crew won’t be happy.”  
“I know. But I can’t risk a mutiny.”

“They wouldn’t dare to rise to a mutiny against you.”

“Unless one of the elders rise. You know how the younger sailors look up to them. I know what the crew speaks of me, Chan. Some of them think I should retire already, move to a safe little farmhouse on a nameless island. They haven’t been too happy of our latest heists.”

The captain and Chan moved a little further, Felix couldn’t properly make out the words anymore, so he climbed on the stairs, careful to not step on the squeaky ones. The shadows kept him hidden, luckily.

“Felix?” Felix’s stomach dropped.  
“Keep him in the hull. I don’t want him on the deck of El Salvador.” Oh. A wave of relief washed over Felix.

“What about Hyunjin?”

“He isn’t irreplaceable.”  
“I wouldn’t say so.” Chan sounded offended, and for a good reason.

A silence. The sails rustled in the wind.

“If we need to retreat, we will do it quietly.”  
“What?”  
“You heard me. It’s faster. The only ones that I need to be on the ship in that case are me, you, Changbin and other one of the cooks. If it starts to look bad, we will retreat silently and give Sangyeon a sign. Those left on the deck of El Salvador are responsible for their own fates after– “

“Mrrhmp!”

Someone covered Felix’s mouth with their hand, another arm snuck around Felix’s waist and pulled him backwards, up in the air so neither of them made a noise. Then he was harshly pushed into the shadows under the staircase yet again.

“Lurking around again, hm?” Changbin did not sound pleased at all.  
“I was just-“  
“Cut the bullshit, landlubber. How much did you hear?” Changbin’s whispers sounded angry. Felix could make out just the outlines of him in the darkness. He was close, strong arms pinning Felix against the wall.  
“N-not much.” Felix whispered.  
  


“So you heard everything.”  
“I didn’t! I swear!” Felix whimpered under his breath. He could hear Chan and captain walking on the quarter deck, coming a little closer. He prayed to every god they wouldn’t find him and Changbin.

“What. Did you hear?” Changbin snarled, he wasn’t joking around.  
“Why is it so crucial?”  
“Because it is! Or do you want me to call the captain here?”  
“No! I heard my name. And Hyunjin’s. And something about a retreating plan. That’s all- ”

“Fucking hell.” Changbin cursed under his breath.

Changbin let go of Felix, nearly turned away before turning back to Felix again.

“You can’t tell about this to anyone. Do you understand?”  
“W-why?”

“If you do, I’ll make sure you’re in the first wave boarding El Salvador with an unloaded gun, do you understand?”  
“Y-yes.”

“Do you?”  
“Yes!”

“Good. Stop sticking your nose to every fucking business, landlubber, it’s going to get you killed.”

And with that Changbin was off. He jogged up the stairs to the quarter deck, leaving Felix in the darkness underneath the stairs, next to the gun closet, baffled.

“Was there someone there?” The captain asked.  
“Nah, I didn’t see anyone. Probably just the wind.”

“Ah. Chan, I need you to…” The voices receded once again.

What the fuck? What the fuck was his problem? Why was he being so damn rude all of a sudden? Felix hadn’t seen even a trace of him in the past four days, and now Changbin just called him names and yelled at him? Or well, whisper-yelled. What the hell? Had it really been that bad to talk to Felix on the docks of that village. Had Felix really been that annoying?

And what the hell had the captain meant by Hyunjin not being irreplaceable? Felix thought the boy was very much irreplaceable, there was no as acrobatic crewmember among the sailors as Hyunjin was, no one was as good at climbing the shrouds up and down, let alone as quickly as Hyunjin did. What the hell? What was Changbin’s problem? Couldn’t he just tell Felix off and not to say a word, no need to throw around death threats? But apparently Felix was that unbearable.

Felix could feel tears pricking his eyes. No. He wasn’t going to cry because of this! They wouldn’t be doing that retreating plan, right? They would succeed in the heist, they wouldn’t need to leave other sailors on El Salvador. Felix wasn’t going to lose Jisung and Hyunjin. He wasn’t. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t bear to lose the people that had made the past weeks a lot more delightful than Felix had initially anticipated. He couldn’t bear to lose the people he now called his friends.

Felix sniffled before tiptoeing quietly back to the forecastle. He would have to say something! But he couldn’t! But what if he would say something just before it was time? That could work! Or not, if other sailors would hear that and decide to not obey the commands and everything, it could turn into a mess. This was horrible. So horrible.

And the fear was more overpowering than ever.

***

Felix couldn’t hear anything. Anything but his own blood rushing through his veins, his heart beating against his chest quite a lot faster than usually. His ears were filled with beeswax. “Just a precaution”, that’s what Chan had said as they had dropped the anchor at the bottom of the ocean floor. The smaller anchor, easier to lift when El Salvador would sail past and they would be on the move. As they had reached the bay in nightfall, Felix had seen a shipwreck near the shoreline of the bay. An old one, nearly decayed.

It was a cloudy night, to their luck. The moon peeked through once in a while, but mostly it was dark, their ship was well hidden. They hadn’t seen any movement on the shorelines of the bay, no humans nor any bird ladies, as the captain had called them. If Felix was being honest, he thought the wax thing was a little dumb, but the rest of the crew seemed to believe in sirens and so Felix had obliged to stuff it in his ears as well. And Jeongin had looked at him with those pleading eyes of his when Felix had scoffed at Chan and his little piece of beeswax.

The attack was just mere minutes away. Any moment now they would see the silhouette of El Salvador gliding past the opening of the bay. Felix was scared. Oh, so very scared. He felt like he could vomit any second now, if it wasn’t for Jeongin holding on to his other arm. They had got their positions. Changbin hadn’t kept his promise, and Felix hadn’t ended up in the first wave. Though, Felix hadn’t said a word of anything he had heard. And that’s what scared him the most. What if they would fail? What if the Spanish were aware that they were waiting? What if Felix was just minutes away from losing Hyunjin and Jisung, who would most certainly be on El Salvador when they would pull back?

Felix and Jeongin weren’t gunmen. No. Felix had a sword on his hand. A sharp, deadly sword on his right hand, and a knife in his sash. Felix and Jeongin were both protecting the gunmen, so was Lyanna. They were supposed to move close to the stairs of the gundeck when the battle would begin and stop any and all Spaniards from entering the lower decks.

Wind was on their side, blowing from the sea to the inland. It wouldn’t help them in moving towards El Salvador, but it would cover their sounds, and that’s what they needed. Someone had questioned the captain, who, to Felix’s surprise was standing on the decks as well, motioning to everyone what to do, why they didn’t use the boats to approach the ship and then attack, but the captain had just shrugged them off and said something about having the act of surprise on their side. Felix didn’t quite understand, but he would much rather stay on the decks of Euryale than on some puny rowing boat.

Hyunjin was pacing around the ship, nervous, restless. Felix had tried to calm him down, but it was hard since he couldn’t talk to the boy. Everyone was on the gun deck or the main deck, waiting in the darkness. All of the lights had been shut off. If Felix’s calculations were correct, the armada would have sailed past Captain Kai now as well, and if everyone had succeeded, they would have sunk the fourth ship of Los Galeones by now.

The lump in Felix’s throat had only gotten bigger. He couldn’t breathe properly. He was tired, he hadn’t been able to fall asleep after last night, Changbin’s words running around his head, fear tied around his throat. Jisung had questioned in the morning why Felix was so quiet, and Felix had nearly bursted then and there, told his friends everything, but Hyunjin had come to the rescue and shrugged Felix’s silence off with him being nervous. Well, Hyunjin wasn’t wrong. He just was quite a lot more than just nervous.

Seungmin had patted Felix on his shoulder and told him to remember what he had told Felix back in the crow’s nest. If Felix didn’t get to the enemy first, they would get to him. And Felix couldn’t let that happen, not on his watch. For a moment everything had seemed to be just fine, and then the next second he had accidentally bumped to Changbin on the stairs from gun deck to the storage deck, and the boy had given him a look so disgusted and hateful that Felix had nearly bursted to tears. Nearly. Then he had sucked it up, perhaps he just didn’t like him, and that was that.

“_Felix…”_ Seungmin came to stand next to Jeongin and Felix, after he had searched for them a good minute in the darkness. He looked concerned. Scared. But not as scared as Felix felt. He motioned something wildly to Jeongin.

“_Felix…”_ The captain did something, and suddenly the whole quarter deck was on the move. Perhaps they had seen something.

“_Felix… my little teddy bear_!” What?

“_Felix, sweetie… I have missed you so much!_” Felix turned to look at the shores on the other side of the ship. Mother?

_“Felix, dearie, where have you been? Eric is here!”_  
_“Hey, Felix! I’m back from London! Did you miss me?_” Eric?! Eric!

_“Come here! We have been waiting for you! There’s a whole celebration, and Charles isn’t here!” _

_“I’ve missed you so much, Felix, you have no idea how much stories I have for you from London!” _

_“Just come here, in the shore, we’re here waiting for you!” _

“I need to go.” Felix mumbled to Jeongin and let go of his arm. With careful steps and glassy eyes, he pushed through the crowd of sailors waiting for their orders. But his mother was here! Amelia Lee was here! Oh, how Felix had missed her so so much! And Eric! Eric was back from London, and no one had told Felix! How rude of them!  
_“We’re here, Felix! Everybody’s here!_” Eric sounded exactly like Felix had remembered him.  
_“We love you so much, darling, just come ashore, and we will be together again!” _

“I’m coming, mother, I’m coming! Eric, I missed you so much! I’m coming!”

_“Oh, my sweet little boy, my little ang-“ _

Someone tackled Felix from the back and dragged him to the ground violently. Felix hit his jaw against the deck board, biting himself on the cheek in the process. Then he was turned around, and that someone pushed his fingers in Felix’s ears, pushing the beeswax deeper in.

And suddenly Felix snapped back to the present. What the hell? Why were his mother and Eric here? Why were they on the shore? Why had they yelled for Felix to come ashore, he had a mission to do-

Felix stared into Jeongin’s purple eyes, and then it dawned on him. There was no Amelia Lee or Eric Sohn. Those hadn’t been his mother and his best friend, those had been sirens. Sirens. Real living sirens singing their song to Felix. Felix eyes widened at the realization; fear gripped him even harder. What the hell?

Sirens were fucking real?

He had nearly just died. He had just been about to climb over the bannister and fling himself into the seas, to swim to the shore and god knows what would have happened to him next. The sirens had nearly got to him, nearly killed him, nearly bewitched him. And they had bewitched him, not just nearly, if it hadn’t been for Jeongin, Felix would have been birds’ food for tonight.

How? Felix had surely pushed the wax deep enough into his ears. Or had he? He sure hadn’t believed in any sirens to live on that shore. But now? What the hell? So mermaids were real, too? Everything, every tale Felix had heard as his bed time stories, of huge sea monsters and merpeople, they were all real? What the ever-loving fuck?

Jeongin helped Felix to his feet again, his feet were wobbling, and apparently he had abandoned both his knife and his sword while walking over the deck. Seungmin handed them back to Felix, Felix thanked with a nod, embarrassed. His cheeks were heating up. What the hell? Why had the sirens sung him with the voice of his mother and Eric? Why them? Why hadn’t they sung to him of riches and gold like to every other person out there. Like they had sung to Odysseus?

Felix pushed the knife into his sash where it had been most of past weeks. With his free hand he gripped Jeongin’s hand again. He was so thankful for the boy. The mermaid boy. That’s how he read the seas, right? He knew how they worked. And that’s why he had stared at the bay when they had passed Guadiana Bay. Half mermaid. What the fuck.

Felix glanced to his left and realized they were on the move. Embarrassment turned quickly to fear. Gripping, swallowing, engulfing fear. It was starting. The battle was beginning, and oh how Felix prayed El Salvador had no idea they were coming. Hyunjin was standing next to Felix, he realized also that. The boy was staring at the shoreline, much like Jeongin had done, eyes glassy, hands gripping the railing, knuckles white.

Felix noticed Hyunjin didn’t have any beeswax in his ears.

And then Jeongin tugged his arm, led him away from Hyunjin, Felix tried to say something, anything, but as Jeongin glanced at him, he realized that there was no need. Hyunjin heard them, they just couldn’t get to him.

Everyone was on the move, hurrying, first and second wave were gathering to the decks, Felix and Jeongin descended the stairs to gun deck. They stood their positions, soon Lyanna was standing next to them as well. Minho, Seungmin, Johnny, multiple other pirates, mostly elderly got to their cannons. Two of them were deaf. Some of the gunmen and swordsmen were still rowing Euryale closer to El Salvador. Everything felt so surreal since Felix couldn’t hear anything. Nothing. Except his own heartbeat.

Chan appeared to the doorway and motioned them to take the wax off their ears. They had sailed away from the bay. They were close. Chan looked afraid. Fear. It was cold. Ruthless, unforgiving, it gripped Felix so hard he couldn’t swallow.

Felix could hear now. Rippling. Not against one hull, but two. They were close. So close. He was holding to his breath. They had got close far too quick.

Five. Chan lifted his other arm. Felix knew the men on the main deck were all laying down in case of a crossfire. He could hear chatting, but not in English.

Four. Jeongin gave Felix a little encouraging push.

Three. Chan tried to give Felix a weak, encouraging smile, but failed. Sirens and mermaids were real.

Two. The gunmen lit their torches, brought them close to the fuse.

One.

“¿Qué- “

Chan brought his arm down.  
“Fire!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhohoooo, things are getting a little spicy up in here! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	18. 18

A whizzing sound. An explosion. Felix’s heart jumped to his throat, he wanted to run, to scream, to hide away (oh, how familiar that sounded). It took approximately two seconds for a storm to erupt on the main deck, above Felix’s head. Screaming. Yelling. Shouting. The first wave was on the move, shoes and bare feet thrumming against the wooden planks as the sailors jumped from Euryale to the decks of El Salvador. 

More screaming. Hyunjin and Jisung were on the other ship by now. They could be dead. For all Felix knew, Jisung could have been impaled on a sword by now. Guns went off, the Spaniards were yelling, shouting, Felix couldn’t hear the words, he couldn’t make them out. Gunmen loaded the cannons again and fired, Chan disappeared from the stairs. 

Third and fourth wave were on the move. Seungmin ran around the gun deck and lit the lanterns and torches as fast as he could, darkness turning to flickering, warm light. They fired for the third time. Spaniards weren’t answering to the cannonfire, and that could only mean one thing; they had really taken them by surprise, some of the crew had probably been sleeping, they didn’t have time to prepare themselves. Oh, poor them. Tonight, families would lose their fathers, sons, brothers. Their whole worlds. 

What Felix, Jeongin, Lyanna and the gunmen didn’t see, was a bloodbath. Men, red and blue coats lying on the deck of El Salvador, taking in their last breaths. Jisung, flinging himself from the shrouds to the neck of one poor Spanish cabin boy, slashing his throat with his knife. Hyunjin, dancing through the deck, eyes glassy and a wicked smile spread across his face, cramming his sword through several ribcages, sometimes clashing against another sword, that grin only widening. 

Chan, calm at nature, running around the forecastle of El Salvador, tearing dreams apart by firing a gun through a sleeping man’s skull, searching for those ranked higher in the pecking order. The captain, with his mighty sword making his way through the decks to the captain’s cabin of El Salvador, killing everyone who crossed paths with him.

Changbin, storm in his eyes dodging, jumping, grabbing a lantern from above him and smashing it on a Spanish officer’s head, hard, instantly killing him. Changbin, embers in his eyes, running forwards, tackling a soldier to the ground and spilling his guts on the wooden decks. Changbin, the whole sea in his eyes clashing his sword with Jisung’s, nodding, and fighting back to back with him, as it had always been. 

A cannonball shot through the hull of Euryale, nearly sweeping Lyanna’s head off of her shoulders. It broke one of the supporting beams of the gundeck. Gunmen fired again on Seungmin’s count, Lyanna rose up to the main deck, completely unfazed by the cannonball. Felix and Jeongin weren’t safe anymore, not when the Spanish had finally woken up and got to their guns. 

“Kill them!”  
“Kill them all!”   
“Every last one!”   
Incoherent screaming, the captains voice booming above all noises;  
“For Euryale!” 

Another cannonball shot through, hit one of the elder gunmen, sent him flying across the deck. Felix looked away, he didn’t dare to look at the man as he ended up in the far corner of the gun deck. He didn’t want to hear, he didn’t want to listen, but he had to, he heard the yells, the shouts, the pleading, something flying overboard and splashing in the water.   
“Forwards!” 

Felix wanted to shut it all off, he wanted to close his eyes, turn away, curl up in a corner and cry until this was all over, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He had to keep his eyes open, glued to the entrance, aware of his surroundings, listening to everything, every off beat step coming closer. He had to keep his sword tight in his hand, knife ready in the other, ready to attack, alert. He couldn’t shut it off. He had to fight. He had to fight for these pirates, he had to fight for these thieves, rogues, murderers. Felix glanced quickly at Jeongin on the other side of the stairway, so concentrated, so ready, anything but scared. 

And above all, Felix had to fight for his friends. 

Hyunjin climbed up the shrouds, up, up above, a knife in between his teeth, a Spanish soldier just below him, trying to grab his ankles and drag him down. Hyunjin took the gun from his belt and blew the sailor’s head off. Up, up above, another soldier dropped from the crow’s nest with the knife sticking out from his skull, and with quick motions Hyunjin ripped the Spanish flag off of the mast. 

It was over a hundred men against forty. They had underestimated how many soldiers were on the Spanish vessel. Knucklehead was laying lifelessly on the bannister of El Salvador, blood pouring from the wound slitting through his chest. One-Eyed Jackson had lost his other eye as well, but he didn’t need sight in Davy Jones’ locker anyway. Jia had her guts spilling all over the quarter deck, eyes filled with terror forever. 

Euryale was losing men. 

Lyanna was out of sight, another cannonball shot through. Where was she? Felix and Jeongin glanced at each other, that couldn’t be a good sign, could it? 

And then Felix saw something that he would never, ever, be able to forget. 

Bouncing one step at a time, down, down, down. Lyanna’s head. The whole head, cut clean from her neck, rolling down the stairs. Spilling blood everywhere, pouring from the arteries. And the look in her eyes. Filled with fear, with regret, with surprise. The last look she would ever have on her beautiful features, aged with grace. Filled with terror. So deep Felix’s breath got stuck in his throat, the blood in his veins seized and turned cold, his legs were about to give out underneath him. Lyanna’s head rolled down the stairs, it continued rolling from between Felix and Jeongin, until it finally bumped against one of the barrels filled with gunpowder. 

“Más piratas!”   
“Ah!” Jeongin let out a surprised yell as three heads popped up from the hatch above them. Spaniards. On their ship. First of them stepped over Lyanna’s dead body to the stairs, with his sword drawn. Two of them followed him close by. 

What the hell. Oh no. Oh no, they were coming here, they were coming to the gun deck, Lyanna was dead, Lyanna, their best swordswoman was dead, oh no, this is how Felix would die, this was the end of him, oh no, Felix took one, two, three, steps back, they were on the halfway, someone help! 

Felix heard cursing from behind him, somehow recognized the voice as Seungmin’s, another step back, the first Spanish soldier was on the gundeck now, his boots shining in the torchlight, he was large, so tall his hat nearly touched the ceiling, so wide the buttons of his jacket were hanging to their dear lives. Blue, red and yellow, that’s how the Spanish sailors were dressed, those of El Salvador, the pride of the Spanish armada, and this was how Felix was going to die, by the hands of that man, that sailor, there was no knight in a shining armor to save him now. 

The soldier struck towards Jeongin, who had only taken two, three small steps back, who was closer to the man. And then Felix realized the weight of the sword in his hand. 

Everything he had ever learned about swordfighting rushed back to his mind, and before he could think even for a second, he was flinging himself towards the towering man with a huge, sharp sword. It reflected the flames of the torch above Felix’s head. 

A clank. For a fraction of a heartbeat Felix and the Spanish sailor stared at each other in the eyes. Felix pushed the sword off before striking again, up, down, from the side, back three steps, around, he kicked forward, clank, another, third, the sword fit him just right, just like the one he had had at home. 

Felix’s movements were on fire, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear anyone around him, just him and the man, who lunged towards Jeongin once again with another sailor. 

All of a sudden Johnny was next to Felix, surging towards the bigger guy, oh thank heavens, he was way too large for Felix to handle. Jeongin was struggling, he wasn’t a swordsman, anyway, why the fuck was he put in that position, Felix struck forwards again, intervened the two clashed swords, turned around in a pirouette and surprised the other soldier with a hard kick in the face with the back of his heel. 

The third one lunged forward towards Felix, with a quick slash Felix blocked the sword from piercing through his chest. Something nicked Felix’s side. He could hear everything again, including the blood pumping in his veins, the yells coming from outside, the screams of fear, terror, surprise, victory. A cannonball shattered a barrel of gunpowder. Fire. 

Felix twirled, took two steps back, took the third one by surprise, a step forward, to the left, left again, and then Felix realized it was just him and the soldier, and the soldier had one goal. 

The Spanish lunged forwards, Felix had to dodge his sword by ducking his head, his sword accidentally hit one of the beams, shredding some wood off, sending Felix off balance, a miss-step, too close, oh dear god, Felix twirled from underneath the man’s arm;

And thrusted the sword into the man’s chest. 

Silence. Everything around Felix stopped. Only the man’s breaths, and his own.

The man fell to his knees. He leaned against Felix’s sword, the blade only sinking in deeper, sticking out from the man’s back. Except it wasn’t a man. 

It was a boy. 

Roughly Felix’s age. Cheeks flushed, stars in his eyes, the whole world in front of him. A boy. With thick, black curls and a coat three sizes too big on him. A boy. 

Something warm dripped down Felix’s hands. Something red started to spill from the boy’s mouth. He tried to speak, no words, just gurgling. Blood dripped down his chin, his neck, spilling over his fine coat. 

Gurgling. No. Death rattle. 

“I – “   
The boy gripped Felix’s arm, he tried to take in a breath, violently shuddering, shaking. More blood. He lost his balance, nearly falling over Felix. 

His eyelids fluttered, the stars disappeared, eyes rolled in the back of his skull. Gurgling. Blood. Everywhere. The grip on Felix’s arm was tight. 

And then it loosened, and the boy fell to his side on the floor. 

A boy. 

Just a boy. 

“I- “ 

Just a boy. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Felix whimpered. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He looked at the color disappearing from the boy’s face, the flush turning to transparent blue, a pool of blood forming around his head like a halo. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Felix didn’t feel the tears running down his face.   
“I’m so so sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t- “ 

“Hey, Felix, it’s okay- “  
“No, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I- I-“   
“Felix.” Jeongin took Felix’s face in between his hands, forcing Felix to look at him in the eyes.   
“Felix. He would have killed you. You just saved yourself. You saved us. All of us.”   
“B-but he, he, he’s just a boy, just –“   
“I know, but he was going to kill you, Felix. That’s what he was here for.” 

Jeongin let go of Felix, only to help him stand up by taking his hands, which turned Felix’s attention from the lifeless boy laying on the floor of the gun deck to his own hands. 

Red. All he saw was red. Sticky, warm red. Soaked through his once-lavender shirt. Dripping down his pants. Blood, sticky, warm blood on his hands, running down his arms. And it wasn’t his own blood. 

It was the boy’s blood. Felix looked around. Three lifeless bodies, one in the corner, one in front of the cannons. One in Felix’s feet. Not his own blood. The boy’s blood. 

Felix bent down behind one of the barrels and retched. 

*** 

Silence. Everywhere and all around Felix. Silence. Not a soul in sight. Felix’s legs were tugged close to his chest, forehead leaning against his knees. He was sitting in the forecastle, leaning against the mast, some shrouds digging a little uncomfortably to his back. In front of him the open vast, illuminated by the moonlight. The only thing blocking Felix’s view was the bowsprit. It was calm. The waves rippling against the hull were peaceful, despite the speed they were heading towards the unknown. 

Boom was on the helm, Jackson in the crow’s nest. Neither of them had noticed Felix wandering up the deck above the forecastle and sitting down. Or if they had, they didn’t mind. It wasn’t like this was the first night Felix spent sitting on the foremost deck, and in fact, he would have rather sat at the stern of the ship, but he didn’t want to explain to Boom why he wasn’t sleeping. Though, from what Felix had noticed, Boom had been dangerously close to dozing off against the wheel.

Felix couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t slept properly in the past days. A doze off here and a nod off there, those minutes only filled with dread, anxiety and fear. Disappointment. Sorrow. He had been just a boy.

They had won. They had won the battle, and lord, had it taken long. They had severely underestimated how many Spanish sailors there were on El Salvador, but in the end, they had won. Captain Seo had thrown the head of the Spanish admiral in the midst of the battle on the deck, finally making the last ones standing surrender. Only to be killed. It had been bloody. The beautiful, bone-white decks pooling with red. The flag torn, ripped, shred and finally burnt as the sign of victory. 

One they had left alive. One, who had got himself a little rowing boat to sail away with, preferably to Havana. The boy hadn’t been many years older than Felix. The captain had told him, with a broken Spanish, to fly away and tell everyone. Tell everyone who had taken everything from the Spanish crown. To beware of the pirates, of the Brethren, for they were not afraid of the crown. Tell everyone the tale of Captain Seo and Los Galeones, how his masterplan had not failed him, and the pride of the Spanish armada was now food for the fish. Dead men told no tales, but the captain wanted this one to be told. 

Gold. They had got tons of gold, silver, diamonds, topazes, rubies, fabrics, jewelry, each and every one of them. Felix had got his own barrel, which was now very much full of diamonds, golden coins, a few pieces of jewelry. They had also got some beautiful fabrics and indigo, which they would sell once they got to Tortuga and then split the income between the crewmembers. Sure, the jewelry was beautiful, a handful of golden rings, so many necklaces Felix wouldn’t have been able to tie all of them around his neck, bracelets so shiny they left the sun jealous. Golden coins, silver coins, diamonds, uncut. 

Felix knew that he should have been grateful, they had won. They had done the heist of the century. They would be remembered in the centuries to come. But at what cost? 

Knucklehead was dead. Jia was dead. One-eyed Jackson was dead. Yunho was dead. Jacques was dead. Helen was dead. Rodrigo was dead. Pegleg Martin was dead. William was dead. Imposter-Vada was dead. Jacob was dead. Three of the elders were dead.

Lyanna was dead. 

Felix shuddered at the memory, his gut twisting and turning. They had buried their dead as the pirate code ordered them to. Cleaned them up, sewed any missing limbs back together, tied rocks on their arms and feet and finally wrapped them up in blankets. Said their final goodbyes, may you find your way to Davy Jones’ locker with ease, may your sails be filled with wind, may the waves be peaceful, and your barrels filled with rum and gold. Felix hadn’t said anything. He had just stood there, in between Jeongin and Jisung, watching as one by one Chan and Raul dropped the bodies overboard. 

They had lost men. Good men. More than they could afford, and now the crew had barely thirty members. The captain would have to get more, thirty was a little too few in case of a battle. They had lost multiple of their best sailors, Lyanna, One-Eyed Jackson, Yunho. Pegleg Martin. And Jacob, that young one. His sail hadn’t been long, Felix guessed. 

They had also celebrated. It was kind of funny, how victory made it easy to forget the pain. Perhaps it was just life on a ship like this. Crewmembers would die. Friends would die. The person who had slept last night next to you would die. It was natural, part of the famous ‘pirate’s life’. Losses, victories, gold, blood, all that. Seungmin and Raul had prepared a little feast with all the food they had brought from El Salvador to Euryale. Wine. Barrels of port wine. Rum. Fruits. Meats. Loads of spices. The food had never tasted so good on this ship, yet all Felix could taste was ash. 

The captain had said a few words of how proud he was of his crew, how they were the finest of the Caribbean, and how this would only be the beginning, the West Indian Trade Company would be next on the list. How everything had went according to the plan, everyone had done their part. How Captains Kai, Visser, Solier and Julia had been easy to work with (despite Visser apparently chasing after them). 

They were constantly on the move. They had passed the Mermaid Bay again, then turned to the vast open, zigzagged through a few islands, nearly got hurled into a whirlpool and finally set the sails towards Tortuga. The race wasn’t over yet, Visser could be after them, so could the Spanish fleet. They were going with half sails for the night, Sangyeon had suggested them tucking in a safe bay for the night, but Chan had insisted on continuing the sail for tonight. Tomorrow they would properly rest somewhere. 

Not that Felix was that aware of anything that was going on around him. He was in a haze. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t eat. He had lost his appetite. He didn’t hear what was being said to him, he didn’t pay attention, minutes bled into hours, hours bled into days. And time was supposed to heal, make it easier. 

Felix had got a wound to his side, not a bad one, but of such depth that it had had to be patched up. Jeongin had sewed the wound, and Felix had felt nothing. Nothing. (He had been just a boy.) Now the wound had a bandaid over it, and Felix prayed it wouldn’t get infected. Otherwise that would be the end of him. He wasn’t the only one that had got hurt in the battle, Jisung had little nicks and bruises here and there, Hyunjin had a little cut underneath his eye. It would leave a small scar. 

Jeongin and Seungmin had luckily survived without any injuries. Changbin was gone again, Felix didn’t know of him. Chan had got a quite bad wound to his arm as well, but that didn’t stop the quartermaster from bustling around the decks, giving orders delightfully as ever. Perhaps he didn’t feel any pain, or he was just used to it. 

But Felix did feel pain. Him feeling nothing was a lie. He had felt pain ever since that night. It just wasn’t the typical pain, it was in his head, he couldn’t stop thinking about it, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the red pooling around him, how the stars had disappeared from his eyes, how Felix’s blade had just sunk in that easily. How he had sounded. That sound. Felix would never, ever, be able to forget it. He wouldn’t. Every time he nodded off, he would wake up, hearing that sound in his dreams, so vividly like he was experiencing it all over again. All. Over. Again. 

Felix had the same shirt and trousers on. Jeongin had been a little angel and washed them. Felix had had to scrub his arms until his skin was bright pink, screaming for him to stop, and even still he had continued until the water was no longer even the slightest shade of pink. That sound. It kept ringing in Felix’s head, driving him insane. And those eyes. Those eyes. 

Felix shuddered, he tried to breathe, really tried to, and let the tears fall. There was no way of stopping them. Every time he stopped crying he thought he had run out of tears, only to burst to uncontrollable sobs in the next second all over again. He had killed a boy. He had killed a Spanish boy, who was just there to protect his ship. His country. Felix had killed a boy. 

He was so alone, so completely, so utterly alone. He missed his mother. Her voice. Her soothing words, her hugs. He missed Eric, even more than ever, he missed his laughter, his stupid ideas, his smiles brighter than a thousand suns. The siren song had brought all the memories back to him. But he was alone, far, so so far away from home. Alone. And he had killed a boy. He had killed a boy, and there was nothing to change that. Nothing to save Felix from his guilt. So. Alone. 

“Mind if I sit down?” 

Felix really didn’t have any other choices but to let him, did he? He sniffled, tried to wipe away the tears and snot staining his face. He shook his head, biting the skin of his lower lip. He didn’t dare to look up. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to seem like a weak person, just a ‘landlubber’ who couldn’t handle the life of a pirate (kind of funny how Felix had wanted nothing to do with pirates three weeks ago, and now it was the complete opposite). He didn’t look up as Jeongin sat next to him, not when the boy took Felix’s hand in his. Not when Jeongin starter rubbing shooting circles to the back of Felix’s hand. 

“He was just a boy.” Felix whispered, new tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He took in a shaky breath.   
“He was.” Jeongin’s whisper matched Felix’s. They didn’t want to break the sleepy silence hanging over the ship.  
“And now he’s…”   
“He’s what, Felix?” 

Silence. He was what, Felix? What was he, the boy, laying at the bottom of the ocean? Hauled overboard as soon as Felix had let go of his hand. What was he?   
“He’s…” 

“He’s dead.” Felix’s voice cracked. The boy was dead.   
“I. I killed him, Jeongin.”   
“You did.”   
“I killed an innocent boy!”   
“His innocence is something you have no knowledge of.”   
“He was barely my age, and I killed him!”   
“You did.” 

There they sat, Felix shivering with sobs, the sleeves of his lavender shirt turning to a slightly darker shade of violet as he wiped the tears off, continuously. Jeongin, legs crossed, circling his thumb against the back of Felix’s hand, soothing.   
“I killed him.” 

“Felix, I have a question for you.” Jeongin’s tone was sweet, it was reassuring. Calm.  
“Do you pity him? Or do you pity yourself?” 

Felix finally lifted his gaze to look at Jeongin, eyes glossy. Jeongin didn’t look like he was blaming Felix for anything. He didn’t look mad. He didn’t look disappointed. He was just sitting there, comforting. Felix didn’t understand the question.   
“What?”   
“Do you pity him? Do you pity him that he’s dead, and you’re among the living? That out of the battle of the two of you, you were the one to survive. That he will never be able to look at the sky again, to hear the birds singing again. Do you pity him?” 

“Or do you pity yourself? Do you pity that you had to face a morally difficult dilemma, that was against the rules of the society you have grown in, and you chose to continue the path against the expectations of this society? Do you pity that you need to live with the burden of his death on your shoulders, forever? Do you pity that you have done a decision against everything you have ever stood for, and now you need to live with the consequences? You speak of you killing him, not of him being killed by your blade. Do you pity yourself, Felix?” 

Felix swallowed the lump in his throat down.   
“You don’t need to give me an answer. I just want you to think about it for a while, bask in it.”   
Felix nodded. He didn’t have an answer. He didn’t know. But Jeongin had a seed of truth to his questions. Felix did speak of him killing the boy. Not of how the boy was killed. 

Silence. They were both staring at the sea, listening to the waves. To the occasional loud snores coming from below their feet. To the sails rustling above their heads. Did Felix pity the boy? Or just himself? Did he feel so strongly about this because his mother had always despised those who killed in any sort of clash, and now Felix was the one who she would despise? Did Felix pity himself, because he had always been taught that killing was not an answer to anything? Or did he pity the boy, that his life had ended so quickly, and he would have had the whole world in front of him? 

“What do you think is in there?” Felix quietly asked, sniffling.   
“Where?”   
“After we die? In the abyss?” 

“I don’t know. The tales tell of the great fields of Elysia and mighty halls of Valhalla. They tell of purgatories and multiple circles of Hell, and of Heavens higher than the bright blue sky.”   
“What do you think happens?”   
“That is something I will eventually find out. Perhaps nothing. Perhaps a new adventure. Perhaps I will return as a fish of the seas. I don’t know, but I have no rush to find out.” 

Not the answer Felix wanted, but the one he needed.   
“My mother has always told me it’s going to be a place where the dead will reunite with their long-lost loved ones.”   
“That would be a beautiful ending to life.”   
“It would.” 

“Do you think the boy got to meet his loved ones now as well?”   
“He may have. Or he may have not. He could also be burning in hell for his sins. Felix, you don’t know what kind of life he had behind him.”   
“But he had stars in his eyes.”   
“And so do you. So does everyone that has that little spark of life. The good, and the bad.” 

“My point is, you didn’t know him, Felix, and as I said, he had just one mission and that was to kill you. You answered to that mission, not the way you wanted, but the way it was going to end, regardless who would have been the ones battling. His presence in that situation was not your decision to make. He was a sailor. A soldier, doing what he had signed up for. Would you still feel sorry, if he had been twenty years older than you and an enemy to the English crown?” 

Would he?   
“I don’t need an answer, but I need you to answer that to yourself. And only then will you get rid of that guilt pulling you down. You defended yourself, and me, Felix, and I will always be grateful of that. I would have died on that deck if it wasn’t for you.” Jeongin looked Felix in the eyes, and Felix could see that sincere gratitude in his eyes. 

Felix nodded at Jeongin. He tried to smile, really tried.   
“Here you guys are!” Hyunjin emerged from the stairs from behind Felix and Jeongin. Felix quickly wiped the remains of the tears on his face. Useless, he knew his face was all red and puffy from crying. Hyunjin was followed by Jisung and Seungmin, Seungmin looking a little drowsy. Hyunjin padded over to Felix and sat beside him. 

“Jisung woke up and noticed you were gone and panicked and woke us all up! I thought you would be in the rear.” Jisung and Seungmin sat next to Hyunjin, in a little half circle. Felix gave them a weak smile;  
“Sorry. I couldn’t sleep.”   
“We’ve noticed that.” Seungmin, despite looking like he would have rather been on his bed in between the sheets, didn’t sound accusing or annoyed.   
“It’s because of that Spanish sailor, isn’t it?” 

Jisung sounded sad. Felix would have wanted to hide, but all he could do was nod. Weak landlubber. Felix swallowed, tried to keep his breath even;  
“Do you… do you guys still remember your first one?” 

A brief silence, Seungmin nodded. Felix already knew his story. 

“You never really forget it.” Jisung crossed his legs and swept some strands of his black hair away from his forehead.   
“I was quite young and didn’t understand what happened, so my memories are a little hazy. But I do remember that guy’s face. It was in Tortuga, he tried to steal my coin pouch and I stole his gun from him and fired it to his chest. I do remember his eyes, though, clear as a day. And how surprised he looked that a child was capable of doing that.” Jisung chuckled lightly to ease the atmosphere; “Never have I run that fast as I did from that man’s friends.” 

“Oh, I remember it, too. It really lives with you, you just need to learn to live with the memory. The place and time blend in with other memories, but everything else just… sticks with you. I think my first one was during one of the first heists I was in, I freaked out when a Dutch sailor grabbed me and I stabbed him. It’s the eyes that you won’t forget.” Hyunjin looked at the horizon while he spoke, in a hushed, soft tone.   
“And the noise they let out?” Felix whispered, more to himself than to others.   
“And the noise they let out.” 

Oh no.   
“I was a gunman, I saw from the little window how a cannonball I had fired smashed through one sailor’s skull.” Jeongin added. He was still holding on to Felix’s arm, continuing the little circles. Felix nodded again. 

“How did you get through it? How did you justify it to yourselves?” Felix asked quietly, again. He felt pathetic. The others probably didn’t dwell in such questions, just kept on living. Felix didn’t dare to look anyone in the eyes. Hyunjin shrugged;  
“I just… kept on going. You really have no other choice.”   
“Yeah, you just gotta remember that if it wasn’t the other guy, it would have been you.” Jisung added. Same thing both Seungmin and Jeongin had already told him. If it wasn’t them, it would have been you.   
“Self-defense.” Seungmin, as a-matter-of-factly, added as well.  
“And those Spanish sailors would have gladly seen us dying on their decks! And they sure would have not pitied us.” Jisung probably guessed what Felix’s problem was. 

Felix nodded again. The others had gone through it, and survived, continued living.   
“Do you feel guilty? Of anyone you have ever killed?”   
“Not really. You can’t think about it too much. Sure, they are people, who have their own lives and families, but you gotta remember that when they have made that decision to step on those decks, they have accepted the laws of the sea. For all we know, El Salvador could have sailed to a whirlpool and sank in the next two hours!” Hyunjin nodded as an agreement to Jisung’s words. 

“What he’s trying to say is that those sailors knew the risks of pirates attacking, yet they still decided to leave their homes. They knew the risks of the seas. Pirates aren’t the only risk, not in the Caribbean.” Seungmin clarified. They had a point. Felix was quite sure he could remember his father saying something similar a few years back, once you step on the deck of a ship, you have made a deal. 

“Thank you.”   
“No need to thank us. We’re your friends, Felix, you don’t need to go through this alone.” Hyunjin gave Felix’s shoulder a light nudge. For the first time after that night, Felix gave them a genuine smile. 

Perhaps he wasn’t as alone as he had thought. 

“Can I just ask one question?” Jeongin had stopped the soothing motions but kept still Felix’s hand in his. Felix was thankful for that.   
“Shoot.” Jisung arched his eyebrow at the youngest.   
“Not from you.” Jeongin turned to properly face Felix;  
“What was that bull of you not knowing how to handle swords?” 

Felix could feel his face heating up, ears tinting to bright red. Fuck. He had got caught.   
“What?!” Hyunjin exclaimed, Seungmin had to shush him. Felix tried to hide his face with his free hand.   
“You should have seen him! He was just dancing through the deck with the blade, the sailors were so surprised they forgot how to attack for a second!” Jeongin explained, “And the way you just slipped in between me and the big guy and stopped him, mid air with your sword! And the pirouettes and everything!”   
“Pirouettes?!” Jisung couldn’t believe his ears.  
“I saw it, and I also want to know what that bull was!” Seungmin smiled. Jisung looked bewildered.   
“And. And, how on Earth did you manage to swing that sword so quickly but graciously? You nearly fell and then in a fraction of a second you were back on your feet, slashing through like some knight? What was that?” 

“You can use swords and didn’t tell us?! Absolutely unbelievable, I can’t believe my friend is a liar!” Jisung, a little too theatrically acted like he had faced the betrayal of the century. Felix giggled;   
“Okay. Okay! Technically, Chan just asked me if I knew something about swords and how to protect myself. I do know something about swords and how to protect myself, so I didn’t lie! I just toned it down a bit.” Felix tried to defend himself.   
“A bit! Pirouettes!” Jisung spat out of his mouth;  
“You gotta teach us some royal moves now!”   
“Yeah! I want to do pirouettes while fighting, too.” Hyunjin pouted. The laughter trickled from Felix’s chest;  
“Perhaps I will teach you something at some point!” 

“That’s a promise!” Jisung stuck his pinky out.  
“Okay, it is a promise.” And Felix laced his own pinky with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Some good ol' action! I had such a good time writing this (also a little bit of a sad time since I have the tendency to Feel what my characters feel), so I hope y'all enjoyed reading it!! 
> 
> (i promise, more changlix in the next chapter (when i say im gonna write a slowburn i MEAN it)) 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	19. 19

The sun rose above the horizon once again, beginning a new day on Euryale. Just as Felix’s mother had once said, despite all the bad things, a new sun shall rise and a new day shall begin, leaving all the bad of the yesterday behind. The bad just hadn’t really left Felix alone yet, but it was somehow easier to breathe after the talk with his friends last night. 

Felix had fallen asleep on Hyunjin’s shoulder, fingers laced through Jeongin’s. They had talked about anything and everything, and only gone back to the forecastle after the sky had started to turn a lighter shade of blue. Felix had no idea how he had ended up in his own bed, but he had a hunch that his friends had something to with it. His sleep had been peaceful for most of the night, until the very end as the dreams had turned to nightmares filled with red once again. Jisung had woken him up from his nightly terrors with a sad look on his face. 

Seungmin was clearly not happy about having lost his sleep last night as he had had to wake up early to prepare breakfast for the whole crew. Raul was bedridden with the hangover of the century and couldn’t even as much as lift his head from his pillows without complaining of his agony. Most of the past week had been just celebrating the victory, crewmembers drinking and partying, but Felix had a feeling that some of them got drunk to drown their sorrows. 

However, today the celebration would have to stop and wait until they would reach Tortuga. Cleaning day, Chan had announced that the day before, and that meant that while the rest of the crew were scrubbing cannons and checking sails for any need of repairing, Felix would have to mop the decks starting from the brig, up, up, all the way to the quarter deck. And he would have to do that with Minho. Everything would have to be in top notch condition, or they would have to scrub everything all over again. Captain’s orders. 

So, there he was, scrubbing the storage deck in the far corner. He and Minho had already finished the brig and the small corridors leading to it. They hadn’t spoken a word, as Felix had anticipated. Felix didn’t like it. He had too much time to think about anything and everything, and if he had something learned of himself during the past days, negative thoughts consumed his mind very fast. And every time he had too much time to think, he found himself thinking of the boy, of the red halo around his head, of the sickly, irony smell of the blood on his hands. 

Felix sighed, sniffled, and continued mopping, making his way from the farthest corner to the stairway leading upwards. Minho was in the corner on the other side. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Water splashed around, Felix got some droplets to his trousers. Hyunjin and Jeongin hurried to go get something from the back storage, giving Felix some encouraging pats to his back. Oh, how Felix couldn’t wait for this day to be over. 

The sleepless nights were getting to him. The negative thoughts swarming in his head were getting to him. His arms were growing tired faster, his limbs felt heavy, oh, how he missed a good night’s sleep. He was getting tired. Tired of not being able to think of anything else, tired of feeling so damn guilty. The boy had made a deal, hadn’t he? If it wasn’t for Felix’s sword, it could have been Johnny’s or Seungmin’s or Jeongin’s or anyone else’s on the gun deck at that time. It had just been Felix’s. The boy had made a deal, the same deal Felix had done (though, against his will as he had been dragged to the ship), and it could have been Felix on that boy’s place. It could be him in the future. That’s how the seas were. 

“I’m sure that plank is clean already.” Minho’s soft voice woke Felix from his thoughts. He had been vigorously mopping the same small area over and over, yet again.   
“Sorry.” Felix mumbled and took a step back. Minho wasn’t as terrifying anymore, but he was still quite scary. The way he moved so quietly, how he heard everything, and how he had those embers in his eyes, seeing everything. How his presence felt a little pressuring, and more than once Felix had found himself not being able to relax when Minho was around. 

“The boy had it coming. Stop being sad about it.” Oh? Minho was talking to him?   
“I-I’m not sad about him.” Felix got defensive really fast. Why? He didn’t know either. And it wasn’t like he was sad, he was… guilty.   
“Stop lying. Your moping is filling the whole room and it’s getting a little hard to breathe.” Felix couldn’t understand how Minho’s voice was so soft, so quiet, so hushed, yet it had such a bite to it.   
“Sorry.” Felix bit his lip. Minho sighed;  
“If you can’t get over it, you’re going to be in trouble next time you’re faced with a sword. Take it from someone who has experienced that.” 

Minho had been in a similar situation to Felix’s? That was surprising. Felix had never thought Minho was even capable of sympathy, or feelings, or anything like that, but then again, he barely knew the boy.   
“How… how did you get over it then?” Felix asked quietly.   
“I never said I’ve had to get over it.”   
“B-but you said-“   
“I never said I was the one with experience. Just said you should take it from someone who has.” Minho shrugged. Felix couldn’t see it since Minho just turned away to mop the last parts of the gun deck, but the boy had a little quirk tugging the corners of his lips.   
“O-oh.”

Minho grabbed his bucket and started heading towards the stairs. The tone of his voice turned to a much gentler one, as he gave Felix a quick glance;  
“It’s not easy, but you need to get over it and stop filling the air with such a negative energy. Otherwise I might start feeling bad for you.” 

*** 

Felix jolted awake from a horrendous dream where he had had to push the Spanish boy over the bannister to the seas filled with sharks. His dreams had evolved, now they weren’t just filled with red and silvery blades, instead he now dreamt of killing the boy in every possible way out there. Felix wanted to cry. Why, why couldn’t his head leave him be? Why did his head make Felix see these horrible things, as if Felix didn’t feel already guilty enough? Felix couldn’t understand it, he just wanted to sleep, get rid of the bags underneath his eyes, the heaviness in his limbs. Just a little proper sleep.

Felix had hoped the exhausting cleaning day would have lulled him to a sleepless night, but his wishes had gone unheard. It had taken him quite a while to even fall asleep to begin with, as he couldn’t get the little conversation with Minho out of his head. That was surely the most the odd boy had ever talked to him. And it didn’t answer to any of the questions Felix had about him. He was so mysterious, he gave away so little of himself. What had he meant by the ‘experience’? Surely he had been talking about himself, hadn’t he? He just didn’t want to admit it. Not to Felix. Nor to anyone, really. 

Felix ‘filling the air with negative energy’ was also some weird phrasing. And Minho’s tone suddenly changing? That ‘otherwise I might start feeling bad for you’? So Felix wasn’t just air to the other deck boy? But perhaps Felix was just overthinking this once again too much, as his tendency was. But! What if Minho was like Jeongin? A… supernatural being or something like that, and he could feel energies? Felix still had a lot to process about that thing, all of the stories he had heard as a child had more truth to them than Felix had initially believed. The sirens in the Sirena Bay. Why had they sung to Felix with the voices of his mother and Eric? Weren’t they supposed to sing of great wealth and love? Truths to the world’s unanswered questions, promises of great memory and even greater intelligence. Weren’t they supposed to sing of… whatever the listener wanted the most? 

Oh. 

That would explain it. Felix missed his mother and Eric, so, so much, and wanted nothing more than to see them again, feel their embraces again. Felix had never spoken of Eric after he left for London, as he didn’t want his father to know Felix missed him. Pining was for women, according to Charles Lee. It had been far too long since Felix had last seen his best friend, far, far too long. He didn’t even know if he was still alive. 

He could have been fish food like that Spanish boy by now. No! Felix had to stop this! Right now! Eric was not dead and the Spanish boy was, but he had had a deal! Felix huffed and kicked his blanket off. After some of the crewmembers had gone to Davy Jones’ locker, some of the sleeping places had changed and Max was no longer next to Felix. He slept in Yunho’s old hammock now. That’s how it was, and Felix had realized that his mattress had also probably been someone else’s before him. 

Quietly Felix tiptoed between the sleeping bodies to the doorway. He couldn’t sleep, he needed fresh air. With the thoughts of Eric and his mother every last ounce of sleep had left his body. The air outside was fresh, it tasted of salt and something green. They were tugged safe for the night in a little bay in the coast of Cuba, no villages or cities anywhere near them. If the legend was true, the bay was haunted by a ghost ship and its ghost crew, but Chan had paid no mind to such rumors. Felix wasn’t really keen on meeting any ghosts, so he hoped the rumors were just rumors. 

Some bird’s screech traveled over the water and sounded like it came somewhere very close to their ship. Felix flinched slightly, hairs in the back of his neck standing up. It sounded slightly eerie, the moonlit forest only adding to its eeriness. The bay they were floating in was actually very small, but it was their advantage. No Visser nor Spanish armada would guess that their huge ship would actually be in the shadows.

Not a soul in sight, Chan had ordered everyone to go to sleep, confident in their hiding place. They didn’t even know if the Spanish or Visser were after them. The deck was bathing in moonlight once again, casting long, silvery shadows over the wooden boards. The water in the bay was nearly still, their ship wasn’t swaying as it usually was. No rippling of the waves, just silence. And occasional sounds coming from the jungle. 

Felix’s feet padded against the floorboard as he paced around the main deck. He didn’t know what to do, part of him didn’t want to go to sit in the forecastle again, he had done that for far too many nights now, and now he didn’t even have an open vast to stare at. But he did have a night sky filled with stars, reminding him of home, reminding him of all that was waiting for him. Because, in a way, he was doing exactly what he had ever dreamt of, and couldn’t wait to see what the seas had in store for him. 

Then Felix heard it. Light pads of feet against the wooden boards, coming from somewhere below him. The gun deck? Or the storage deck? But everyone was supposed to be asleep? Felix now noticed the open hatch next to the bannister, leading downstairs. He could take a peek as to who was in there during this hour, couldn’t he? 

So he did. He tiptoed his way to the hatch, got on his knees and stuck his head out of the hatch. No one. It was quiet in the gun deck. But the next stairway in the middle of the gundeck was lit, indicating that someone was in the storage deck. And now Felix heard some clanking. A sword? For a brief second Felix panicked they were under attack and someone was dying down there, but then he realized there was just one pair of feet. One person. So there was no a swordfight. But who could be there during this hour? 

Felix tiptoed down the stairs, careful to not step on the creaky ones. He just wanted to take look. There were some dark stains on the wood, but Felix quickly pushed the thought out of his head. There was nothing there. Just a little bit of dirty wood, some wine had poured over it, perhaps. Nothing had happened here. He walked towards the light source and poked his head through the hatch again. 

Changbin. His back facing Felix. There he was, in the torch light, swinging his sword up and down, making different sets barefooted, or at least that’s what it looked like to Felix. Not that his sets were really that good. Changbin had brought in the middle of the storage deck a barrel of something Felix assumed was rum. Or something else. Could have also been empty. Every time Changbin was to strike the barrel, he stopped midair, just inches away from slicing through it, not to break it. Wise move. Changbin had not heard Felix approaching by the looks of it. His shirt stuck to his back, clearly sweaty from the nightly training, he was tense, muscles rigid, Felix could see it. But why on this hour, why in here? Why was the captain’s boy training swordfighting to begin with? He was already good. 

And then Felix remembered what had happened last time he had spoken to Changbin. Or well, when Changbin had whisper-yelled to him. They had never had to use that retreating tactic, had they? Was he still mad? He had told Felix to stop sticking his nose into everything, so maybe he should just head back. To sit at the stern or something. Leave Changbin be. 

But perhaps that little part of Felix didn’t want the boy to hate him and he wanted to apologize for lurking in the shadows. And perhaps Changbin’s footwork was really off. 

“Your footwork is off.” 

Changbin spun around, bewildered, pointing the sword towards Felix. Felix had taken him by surprise, clearly.   
“What?” He croaked. Felix dropped his legs from the hatch and descended the last steps down to the storage deck.   
“I said your footwork is off.”   
“What the hell do you know about footwork?” So the word hadn’t traveled. Good. Felix gave Changbin a little smile. 

“You should take two little steps instead of one big step while going to the right. And keep your sword always tilted a little to the way you’re going.” Changbin looked at Felix, still confused.   
“What?” Felix rolled his eyes, perhaps a little too theatrically before snatching the sword from Changbin.   
“You do this.” And the he, perhaps a little exaggeratedly, repeated the step Changbin had just done.   
“You need to do this.” And then he did the small two steps, a step forwards and a strike, stopping the sword just before he hit the barrel. The sword Changbin had was a little too heavy for Felix’s liking. 

For a brief second Changbin remained quiet, as if he didn’t know what or how to feel about Felix interrupting him. Then he stammered;  
“Weren’t you supposed to be bad with swords?” Changbin sounded like he thought his eyes were betraying him. Felix grinned slightly;   
“I never said that, just that I know how to protect myself. Protecting includes quite many things.” Changbin squinted as Felix handed him the sword back.  
“What else have you lied about?”   
“Nothing.” Felix giggled before motioning Changbin to do the same set Felix had just done. 

Changbin did as Felix had done, or well, tried to do. His feathery steps were more like stomps.  
“No, use your toes.”   
“Toes?!”   
“Feathery steps.”   
“What kinda bullshit? Never have I ever have to walk with bird feet to strike with a sword.” Felix snorted at Changbin.   
“Just do it, it moves your core strength from your feet to your upper body.” Changbin stared at him, mouth agape. He had understood none of that. Felix did the steps, and waited for Changbin to repeat them. 

“Where the hell have you even learnt any of this?” Despite Changbin being, well, a little hot-headed, his annoyance was different from the last time they had talked. It wasn’t straight up angry, more of just confused.   
“Part of the royal training my father decided for me.”   
“You and your royal training...” Changbin scoffed. Felix spotted a few swords waiting for a clean up near the stairs in a bucket and scurried to get himself one. It wasn’t like the swords needed a clean up, though, they were unused, probably just in need of some sharpening, found from some corner of the storages during the cleaning day. Just perfect for Felix! 

“What else have you learned in ‘royal training’? Anything useful?” Despite the snarky tone, Changbin was a little curious. Felix could hear it.   
“To talk prettily. To ride a horse. Languages, mathematics, stars. Manners, you could also use some.” With that he got a strike forwards from Changbin, blocking it easily with his blade. Last time he had had a sword in his hand he had- no. Not time for that.   
“I’ll teach you some manners.” Changbin mumbled, Felix gave him a light-hearted laugh. He just couldn’t leave Changbin be, could he? No. He was far too intriguing. 

The blades clanked against each other.   
“Toes, Changbin!” Felix did a little step backwards and pushed the barrel to the side. It was empty, luckily. One, two, three, Felix blocked the sword up, down, and up again before slashing to Changbin’s left. Changbin managed to block it in the last second.   
“Good! Could be better if your feet were lighter!”   
“What the hell are you even doing, Felix?” Changbin questioned, striking to Felix’s right. Changbin was a leftie, Felix noticed.   
“Teaching you some moves in case you will have to fight against an English soldier. Their style differs from the Spaniards’.” Up, down, Felix did a pirouette and one, two, three steps to Changbin’s left. 

“I have fought English sailors!” The captain’s son exclaimed.   
“Was it a merchant ship?”   
“Yes?”  
“Those weren’t soldiers, just sailors, they don’t have the training.” Changbin’s eyebrows knitted together, he tried to focus as Felix danced away from his sword.  
“Toes, Changbin, that’s the key point if you want to be quick and deadly!”   
“Why?”   
“It makes you more flexible, more sensitive to sudden changes in the opponent’s movements.”

That made Changbin finally shut up, even if it was only for a few moments. He really tried to focus on keeping his steps smaller and lighter. And he succeeded!   
“Good!” A strike forwards, Felix had to duck his head. Then he finally broke his agenda of just blocking Changbin’s swipes and hurled forwards taking an approach to Changbin’s right, slashing, striking forwards, one, two, three he ducked underneath Changbin’s arm and thrusted his blade forwards towards Changbin’s side, stopping just inches before it would pierce the skin and sink in deep.   
“And you’re dead.” 

Changbin looked at Felix, astonished.   
“How the hell did you do that?”   
“Feathery steps!” Felix twirled away from the other by again: “and your movements are quite predictable, no offence.”   
“None taken. I want you to teach me how to do that.” Pearls of sweat had risen to Changbin’s forehead, glimmering in the flickering torch light. The air in the storage deck was warm, nearly stuffy.   
“Oh, you want me to teach you that? What did I just say about manners?” Changbin rolled his eyes, Felix grinned. He was thoroughly enjoying this. It was nice, he got to finally properly use his skills he had spent so many years learning. And. He didn’t have to actually fight, just some light-hearted battling, nothing serious. Felix wouldn’t have to strike any deadly slashes.   
“Will you, please, teach me how to do that?” Changbin asked with a mocking tone to his voice.   
“Oh, if you ask so nicely, then of course!” 

He twirled close to the captain’s son again:  
“Small steps, look the way your opponent is going, block any and all strikes.” One, two, three Changbin sent his way, ducked underneath one;  
“Get to their side, and when they strike, swim underneath and thrust your sword forwards.” Felix did as he explained, with quick motions. “You’re dead again. I think you should learn how to parry an approach like that first.”   
“Alright.” 

“There’s two ways, either you back away from the attack or change which hand you’re holding your sword with. Retreating is easier.”   
“I don’t want to retreat, I want to attack.” Changbin huffed.   
“Thought so. I’m going to do the attack slowly and tell you what to do.”   
“Okay.” 

And that was what he did. It took a minute for Changbin to completely grasp the movements, when to change hands, see where Felix was going.   
“You’re dead, Changbin, you need to be faster.”   
“You’re dead, Changbin, feathery steps.”   
“You’re dead, more power. Faster.” And every time Changbin looked a little more annoyed, and a little more determined. At least he was eager to learn! 

Felix wasn’t entirely sure how he had ended up in this situation, him blocking Changbin’s swords one by one and to teach him how to kill someone by diving underneath their arm in the middle of the night. But he wasn’t complaining. He was kind of enjoying this teaching thing, enjoying the focused look on Changbin’s face. The weight of the blade in his hand didn’t feel repulsive as Felix had initially feared, but perhaps it was the situation that made it better. Felix was quite surprised of Changbin’s skills, or perhaps, the lack of them, he had thought the captain’s son would know some of the sets Felix used in his daily training. But then again, Felix didn’t really know if Captain Seo had any sort of training, so it wasn’t really that surprising that Changbin didn’t either. And they didn’t even need them in the heists, if they only raided merchant ships and cities and other pirates, they didn’t need some ‘royal sword movements’ to kill their enemy. That was probably the explanation as to why they had lost so many men in the heist of El Salvador to begin with, they didn’t have much experience on fighting real soldiers and trained sailors. 

“One, two, change, three four five.” Felix dove, but Changbin’s sword blocked his way, so he had to retreat.  
“Great! Coming at your left.” Felix changed sides, and didn’t count his steps. To his surprise Changbin parried his attack at the third step.   
“Look at you! You’re learning!” He gave Changbin a little smile. Changbin wasn’t the only sweaty one anymore, the air in the storage deck was warmer than the air outside, and the lit torches only made it worse. 

Felix took a few steps back, started circling Changbin, who in turn started circling Felix.   
“Keep them feathery.” Felix said, voice low, as he abruptly changed the way he was going. He kept his sword drawn to his side, Changbin copying everything he did. Felix leaned a little forward, a step, two steps, squinted his eyes little to make him seem a little more intimidating. He probably failed at the task, if the little quirk in the corner of Changbin’s lips was to be believed. 

All of a sudden Changbin surged forwards, and Felix had to hurry to dodge the swipes of his blade. One, two, three steps back before Felix got his own sword to block himself, one, two, three forwards to drive Changbin back to his own side. Clank, clank, clank, the hollow sounds of steel against steel echoed in the storage deck, paired with the two swordfighters occasional grunts and yelps. Four, five, six, Felix dove to the left as Changbin attacked from the right. He was apparently sick of Felix’s orders. 

Felix blocked left, right, left, up, down, had to surge backwards, Changbin was really going in hard this time. He used Felix’s tips the best he could, keeping his steps small A pirouette, clank, clash, Felix’s blade blocked one thrust again before he turned the tables around and in turn, chased Changbin back to the other end of the storage deck. He was getting out of breath. 

Had Changbin’s eyes always looked like fiery embers in the torch light? 

And then the captain’s son kicked Felix’s sword out of his hand, pointing his own blade at Felix’s throat. Felix raised his arms to the level of his chest in defeat.   
“You gotta admit, that was a good one.” Changbin was out of breath as well, chest heaving, nostrils flaring.   
“I admit, that was a really good one. But you could be better.” Changbin scoffed and drew is sword away. “I merely taught you one way of attacking.”

Felix swept some droplets of sweat away from his forehead. The storage room was getting really stuffy. He got the sword from the ground.  
“So you have other sets?” Changbin sounded a little curious. Just a tiny bit.   
“Several. Attacks, parries, everything.”   
“And you say you learned them in the royal training.”   
“Yeah.” 

And then Changbin was on the move again, this time using Felix’s own tactic and diving from underneath his arm. He would have been successful, if Felix didn’t retreat, dance away from his fingertips. Felix took a few steps to the right, circling around the other boy, and then surged forwards with a completely new set, clank, clank, three little steps to the right, turn around, block the sword from the left, turn around again, dive right into Changbin’s embrace and with the handle of Felix’s own blade, he punched the sword out of Changbin’s hand. 

Changbin looked stunned for a second, until Felix burst out laughing. The tips of his ears turned a few shades more red.   
“What the hell was that now?”   
“Just a little something for giving me a bruise on my hand. I thought we could match.” Changbin rolled his eyes before picking up his sword from the floor and sheathing it. Felix dropped his blade to the barrel with the other swords to wait for most-likely tomorrow’s clean up and sharpening. He had a hunch him and Minho would be in charge of that. 

Changbin’s breathing was still a little uneven, but so was Felix’s. His limbs were growing tired, and in fact, they had been that all the time, but he was now starting to really feel it. Perhaps he could get some actual sleep after this.   
“Were you taught by an actual soldier?” Changbin swept the black, a little overgrown locks away from his face.   
“A former one, yes. Used to serve in the navy as a commodore. And then my father taught me something.” Changbin nodded. 

A silence fell in between them, everywhere around them. Felix didn’t want to question how Changbin had learnt how to handle swords, he already knew some of that. It had been Lyanna, she had taught Changbin, as she had done to some of the other younger ones. Like a grandmother to him, that’s what Changbin had said.   
“I’m sorry about Lyanna.” Felix quietly said. He couldn’t stay quiet, he had said nothing when they had dropped her body down to the sea, it had been Jeongin who had told everyone how she had died. 

Changbin didn’t say anything. He just nodded. Felix didn’t expect him to say anything, really, if he had been in that position, he wouldn’t have had anything to say either.   
“I, um, think we should go.” Changbin finally mumbled. He turned to take the torch from the wall and dunked it in the water bucked near the stairs.   
“Yeah.” Felix did the same to another torch on the other side of the wall, closing one of the ajar storage doors in the process as well. It had been bugging him a little since he had arrived down there. 

The third torch, or well, lantern, Changbin took to himself to light the way back to the main deck. Felix skipped the steps he knew creaked the most, so did Changbin.   
“Close the hatch after you.” Changbin mumbled once they reached the main deck, and oh, how the fresh air felt good after the slightly musty air of the hull. Felix, as quietly as possible closed the wooden hatch. 

Perhaps he should have just stayed quiet, because from the nice, playful atmosphere that him and Changbin had had down in the storage deck was much better than this awkward silence. For all he knew, Changbin could have had been there because he wanted to get his mind off of the past days’ happenings, just as Felix did, and now Felix had ruined that. 

Felix straightened his back only to find Changbin leaning against the bannister, staring at the narrow opening of the bay. The jungle behind their backs was quiet now, no birds screeching eerily anymore. It was peaceful, honestly. The moon had moved on its way on the sky, stars glimmering in the heavens, and Felix realized what Changbin was looking at. The water in the bay was so still that the sky reflected against it, nearly perfectly as some occasional ripples broke the surface. Blue. Everything was deep blue, and filled with stars. 

“Wow.” Felix whispered, more to himself than to Changbin. He leaned against the railing next to the captain’s son.   
“Wow indeed.” Changbin whispered back. A few heartbeats of silence, just two souls appreciating the beauty ahead of their very eyes. 

“I’m also sorry for the last time.” Felix quietly mumbled. Changbin glanced at him before he turned back to the view;   
“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, you did nothing wrong.” Something tugged Felix’s heartstrings, he didn’t know if it was guilt or happiness.   
“You must have been very stressed for the heist, so it’s understandable. I won’t be butting my nose in every business from now on.” A little smile played in the corner of Changbin’s lips.   
“I was, that’s true. But it doesn’t excuse my rudeness, so Felix, I’m sorry.”   
“You’re forgiven.” 

After a few seconds, Felix giggled;  
“Look at you! I managed to teach you some manners after all!” Changbin rolled his eyes, playfully nudged Felix’s shoulder with his own.   
“And that will be the last of those manners, I swear! You will not turn me to some fancy-pants now!”   
“So I am a fancy-pants? That’s a new one.”   
“Yes, but not as fancy-pants as most of them. You’re a… thieving fancy-pants.”  
“A thieving fancy-pants.”   
“That’s what I said.” 

For a few moments Felix just stared at Changbin. The moonlight really did justice to his features, the sharp nose, high cheekbones, curve of his lower lip, along with the scar. The stars reflecting against his ocean eyes. 

Changbin finally straightened himself, with the intention of going to his own cabin. Felix really didn’t want to go to the forecastle, the fresh air on the main deck was easier to breathe, and the snores of the crewmembers were away from him. But on the other hand, he was getting sleepy, the nightly work-out had clearly done its job.   
“You know… if you butting your nose into other people’s business means teaching some new swording moves, then I suggest you keep doing exactly that.” 

Felix raised his eyebrow, perhaps a little surprised. So Changbin wanted more of this?   
“Is that a ‘thank you’?”  
“Absolutely not, just a suggestion.” Changbin scoffed, but Felix could see the mischievous glint in his eyes in the moonlight. He much preferred this side of Changbin to that of the distant captain’s son, or the one that had yelled at him before the heist.   
“Just in case you do butt in my business next time, please don’t scare the living shit out of me, though.” Changbin took small steps towards his cabin.  
“No promises.” Felix laughed as he took a few steps towards the forecastle. Good nights were awkward. 

“Oh, and Felix?” Felix spun around just as he reached the door of the forecastle. He couldn’t see anything but the outlines of Changbin in the moonlight, and the lantern in his hand.   
“Thank you. And good night.”   
“Anytime. Good night, Changbin.” And with that, he opened the door to the crew’s quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, what a chapter! First off, I would like to say a Thousand Thank Yous for all of the comments to the last chapter, I was somewhat nervous to release it as I feel like action is not my strong point when it comes to art of writing. However, I am very glad of the response I got and that at least some of you really liked the chapter, so thank you!! 
> 
> Second of all I do not know anything about swordfighting or swords in general please bear with me and just follow along please. 
> 
> And third of all, thank you for reading this chapter, I hope y'all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	20. 20

“Two, three, no, feathery steps!”   
“Strike upwards, not forwards!”   
“Dive. No! I said dive, not ‘lunge forwards and knock me off my feet’!”   
“Feathers, Changbin!”   
“You’re hopeless. I said feathers, not boulders, your enemy will get you faster than you have time to say ‘pirate’.”   
“Yes! Yes! No! Wrong direction!” 

Felix’s voice was getting hoarse, his arms growing tired. He was tired. But he was also enjoying this far too much to complain. This was the third night in a row he was clashing his blade with Changbin’s, and if Felix was being completely honest, the captain’s son had made some progress. Felix had learned that it was easiest to get into Changbin’s head when he was annoyed, that was when he was the most eager to listen – to defeat Felix and strike his sword from his hand. Otherwise he didn’t give his all, and the sets turned out weak. Changbin got especially annoyed when Felix was two steps ahead and dodged his swipes with ease, dancing away from his fingertips and sticking his tongue out to him. But it was all a tactic, something Felix did to get Changbin to his toes, to chase after him. And it was working. 

During the second night Felix had stepped up his game, he gave orders, he told Changbin exactly what to do with the same tone his teacher had once told him. And he was a man of authority, one Felix really admired, despite usually being the one to rebel against the authorities. Sir Fawley had had a long, successful career behind him, yet the battles had not worn him out, nor changed the mischievous glint from the corners of his eyes. That’s what Felix had admired in him the most. When Felix first had turned his tone from some friendly advice to authoritative, Changbin had looked at him like he was mad. And Felix had giggled, and immediately broke his façade. And then he had got actually serious and ordered Changbin to take those damn feathery steps, or some Londoner was going to haul him over the edge faster than it would take time for Felix to piss the captain off. 

Attack, strike forwards, Changbin was really learning now, his eyebrows knitted together, focused on Felix. His bangs were sticking to his forehead, some beads of sweat running down his neck. Felix was no different, the shirt was sticking to his back, the handle of his sword getting a little slippery. The storage deck was hot, way too hot, but they couldn’t do this on the main deck since the captain was not asleep, and would have possibly hauled both of them overboard if they were to make too much noise.  
“Next time we’ll do this on the damn quarter deck and the captain, and his beauty sleep can fuck off.” Changbin huffed, swiping the damp hairs away from his face. Felix laughed in response, parrying Changbin’s sword from slicing his right leg off. 

As Felix had promised, he and Changbin both had got a matching bruise to their sword hands, quite a sore one, but that was also one thing Felix had learned from Sir Fawley – getting used to pain and pressure in battle situations made one’s vision clearer (and the wound on Felix’s side sure did its part on that, his vision had never been as clear). Jisung had earlier noticed Felix’s bruise, but Felix had just brushed it off. He didn’t really want to tell about this to Jisung. Or the others.

Why not? Felix didn’t really know. He had nothing against them, and he had promised the boys that he would teach them something, but he just didn’t… want them to interrupt this? This thing with him and Changbin? It wasn’t a secret, sure, they hadn’t really spoken of not telling anyone or anything like that, they had made no promises, and this was only the third night in a row, but somehow it felt more… right to not tell anyone. Changbin hadn’t told either. Or that’s at least what it seemed like to Felix, since no one had come running at him, questioning about some private tutoring (no one meaning Jisung or Hyunjin). 

“Feathers! One, two, three!” Felix strictly ordered, took exactly those three steps to the left as Changbin was going right, and then the other boy slashed towards him with his sword, dangerously close to Felix’s ear. Once again Felix dove away.  
“Faster!”   
“I can’t do faster! You’re lighter than me, it’s easier for you!” Changbin sounded nearly angry, but just nearly.   
“Yes you can, step on your damn toes and attack!” And attack was sure what Felix got, he had to really retreat this time, take two, three, seven steps away and then strike back to parry Changbin’s attack.   
“See! You can do faster!” Changbin groaned in frustration;  
“What’s the fastest you can do, then? You keep telling me to be faster but run away from the attacks!”   
“You want fast?” Felix chimed, smirked a little. So Changbin would get fast. 

Felix took initiate, dove underneath Changbin’s arm, dove again, block, strike, pirouette, kick, and Changbin was lying on the ground on his back, the sword meters away from him. Just in a matter of seconds.   
“I’ll show you fast.” Felix beamed, swiped sweat off of his forehead. Oh, how the fresh waves on the outside of the hull were calling to him now. Changbin was breathing hard, staring at Felix’s face above him;  
“What in the seven seas?” And oh, how annoyed he sounded! This was good, Felix had got him riled up! Now, he would love some results! 

Felix stuck his hand out to Changbin, who grabbed it, and helped him up. Despite learning the best when he was annoyed, Changbin was still somewhat careful. At least Felix had all of his limbs still intact. But Felix didn’t want Changbin to be careful, because being careful meant that he was holding back. And Felix wanted to see what kind of a fighter Changbin was, all hell unleashed. Changbin took his sword and stood to his position again, the orange lighting made his hair look red, embers in his eyes. The golden necklace Felix saw peeking from the neckline of his white shirt gleamed against his tanned skin. He was out of breath, clearly winded. Tired. But that was the ultimate goal for the both of them, right? To get tired enough to sleep, keep the nightmares away.

That’s what Changbin had said. Yesterday. He couldn’t really sleep either. Not after all that had happened. And Felix had also figured it out, after all, it hadn’t been just one or two times he had seen the other boy sitting on the rear, and Jeongin had also mentioned that Changbin was the one to spend time there during beautiful nights. Lyanna, all that blood pooling on the white decks of El Salvador, all the death, that had got to Changbin as it had got to Felix. He had just mentioned it, as a matter-of-factly, and Felix didn’t really ask for more. He understood why Changbin didn’t really want to talk about it. Felix wasn’t the only one who had lived his life with high expectations. After all, he was supposed to be used to this. Used to loss. 

Changbin lunged forwards once again, Felix stepped out his way a split second too late and had to change his position to his weaker leg. Clank, another, Changbin didn’t want Felix to win again, clearly. He was vigorous, nearly ruthless (but just nearly, and Felix wanted to get rid of that nearly). He did the little three-step dodging technique Felix had taught him, and then dove forwards, cornering Felix. But Felix got away, as he always did, a step ahead of Changbin. One day he wouldn’t be one step ahead anymore, that was his goal. He wanted Changbin’s swording technique to be on an equal level with him. 

“Feathers.” Felix reminded Changbin, a little out of breath. He had no idea of the time, but they had been in the hull for over an hour now, most likely two. The dawn was still hours away, they had time. Changbin grunted before slashing forwards.   
“Fuck your feathers.” He mumbled and struck again, blocking Felix’s sword again and again, the irony clanks filling the air. They were circling each other, like a cat after a mouse, except that they both thought they were the cat.

Suddenly, against Felix’s expectations Changbin took a left, swung his sword forwards, and Felix had nothing but a split second to get away from the blade. Block, up, down, parry from the left, from the right, up and down again, Felix dodged by squatting before jumping up, only for Changbin to swing his sword dangerously close to his right arm and the diving to the left, clank, clank, Felix was out of breath, arms getting weaker with every block, clank- 

Then he saw the sudden panic in Changbin’s eyes. And then the hot, flaming pain setting his right arm ablaze. That blade had been closer than Felix had initially thought.   
“Oh-“  
“Oh no, oh no, oh no no, I’m sorry, I-“ Changbin dropped his sword before Felix had even time to react.   
“Holy shit, I’m so sorry, fuck, I didn’t mean to -“ The captain’s son took Felix’s arm to see the dripping wound better. Thank god Felix had rolled his sleeves up, was the only thing he could think of, he wouldn’t need to get a new shirt. 

“It’s, it’s alright, it’s not a bad one.” Felix couldn’t even see the wound properly, as it was on the back of his arm, close to his elbow. But he did feel the sting, the burn, the blood dripping down his arm. And he had felt worse.  
“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to, I should have been more careful, not swing so damn hard-“ Changbin babbled, desperately searching for anything in the room to cover the wound. Then he found it, some white fabric and a barrel of water, close to the other end of the deck. Changbin quickly ran to get them before he ran to the storage room known as the ‘rum room’, Felix was still a little confused. It didn’t even hurt that badly, the wound to his side had been far worse. Or perhaps Felix was just so tired he couldn’t really feel it properly. 

Changbin hurried back with the wet rag and a bottle of something Felix assumed was rum. Oh no. He started to swipe the blood off of the wound before opening the wooden cap of the bottle with his teeth and pouring the liquid over the wound. Felix hissed, holy shit the alcohol burned, and out of reflex he tried to pull away, only for Changbin to grip his arm tighter.   
“Stay put, I know it hurts.” Changbin spat the cork on the deck floor, before dabbing on the wound with the wet cloth. How… interesting.

As it turned out, the wound wasn’t bad. It wasn’t even a deep one, it didn’t need any sewing. But it was rather a long one, and would leave a tiny, thin scar to Felix’s right arm.   
“I’m so sorry, honestly, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was a little too close, I didn’t mean to-“   
“Changbin. It’s alright! I’m not dying!” Changbin looked upset, and Felix kind of wanted to laugh. It was rather endearing how the annoyance had flied out of the window instantly. Felix took the cloth from Changbin and pressed it over the wound, it would most likely stop dripping soon, if Felix’s past experience with little sword battle wounds was to be believed. At least that’s what he hoped.   
“I know, but I’m still really sorry!” Changbin cried out.   
“You’re forgiven! Calm down, it’s not like I haven’t had little battle wounds before, stuff like this happens when you work with swords. I’m not made of porcelain, you know.” Changbin looked like a kicked puppy, yet the crinkle between his eyebrows gave away the worry. Cute. 

“I’m serious! It’s alright, it’s not even deep. I’m alright!”   
“Are you sure?”   
“Yes, I’m sure!” Changbin sort of pouted at him, it made Felix giggle. Changbin took the sword Felix had placed to lean against the center beam of the hull before he took his own sword and took them to their own storage.   
“I still think that’s enough for tonight.” Now it was Felix’s turn to pout. To tell the truth, he was already tired, and he knew the stinging little wound would not help him concentrate, but he still didn’t want to go to sleep. He wasn’t that tired. He didn’t want to wake up to nightmares once again. 

Changbin put the torches out once again before taking the lantern to his hand. He glanced at Felix, still visibly sorry.   
“I feel bad.” He mumbled, Felix, with his healthy arm, gently shoved Changbin’s shoulder.  
“Stop that, I could have done same thing to you.”   
“But you didn’t, and you haven’t.”   
“Practicing means putting yourself in danger, willingly, and to be honest, I would have been a little upset if I hadn’t got any cuts sooner or later. It just means you’re getting faster, and I need to start really working to get away from your blade.”   
“So you’re saying you haven’t ‘worked’ until now!” Changbin scoffed, rolling his eyes way too theatrically. Felix gave him a little laugh.   
“Shouldn’t you be focusing on the ‘you’re getting better’ part?” Felix quirked his eyebrow at the boy before walking up the stairs to the gun deck.   
“Oh hell no, you have been just playing all this time and driving me crazy with your ‘feathery steps’! And now you’re telling me you haven’t even been serious!” 

Felix giggled again, pushed the hatch to main deck open. There was no one on the deck, they had settled to some small bay again, just a few miles away from a village close by. Not the safest place, but the captain wanted everyone to rest before they would take off to the open sea once again. Changbin closed the hatch after him.   
“Do you really think I have got better?” He asked in a hushed tone. Felix couldn’t see it, but the tips of his ears had tinted red.   
“I do, and for a three-night practice it’s a very impressive improvement.” The blush deepened a little, but the clouds blocked the moonlight and the lantern didn’t give enough light, sadly.   
“Well, uhh, that’s good!” Changbin scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.  
“It is, your problem is just that you’re holding back.” Felix was still pressing the cloth over the wound, but by the looks of it, the wound was quickly drying up.   
“I already hurt you and you’re telling me to not hold back! Are you even hearing yourself? Are you insane, landlubber?” Felix laughed again, even though the nickname stung a little;  
“I just need to dodge and block you quicker! Don’t worry, we’ll both get to it, unless you slice my whole arm off.”   
“I won’t, and that’s a promise. I can’t lose another great teacher.” 

Something tugged at Felix’s heartstrings again, just a little. Just a smidgen;   
“You won’t, if I get to choose. I’m not going anywhere.” 

*** 

“What happened to your arm?” Jisung questioned and lifted Felix’s halfway rolled sleeve up.   
“I. Uhh, just bumped into something during the cleaning day!” A quick, white lie, Felix shoved some bread into his mouth.   
“But you didn’t have that yesterday?” Bugger.  
“I did, though?”   
“Oh.” Please, Jisung, drop the subject, Felix didn’t want to deepen his little white lie. 

Lunch for today was the last of the fried meats they had got from El Salvador, some fruits and potatoes. Not bad, not bad at all, the meat was tasty and fruits, even though a little too ripe for Felix’s liking, were juicy and delicious. Raul had finally got over his three-day hangover and was happily working in the kitchen, Seungmin had got his well-deserved break and was sitting opposite to Felix. Hyunjin was sitting next to him, Jeongin on his other side. The clamor in the kitchen was loud, some crewmembers were apparently still celebrating their win, and obviously the drunken state made them a little louder. Chan would probably tell them to knock it off in the next few days, they were getting a little annoying by now. 

To Felix’s delight, and surprise, Changbin sat next to Seungmin. This wasn’t a frequent sight, not at all.   
“Oi, Changbin! How’s your day, mate?” Jisung sounded exhilarated when Changbin joined their little gang. Felix saw the dark rings decorating the skin underneath his eyes. Poor boy.   
“Nothing much. It’s going to be a windy day.” He mumbled. Felix felt a little sorry for him, Changbin sounded tired. He hoped the other boy had got some sleep last night, if just for a few hours.   
“So I’ve noticed. Any change in the plans? Or any upcoming plans?” Changbin shook his head at Jisung’s question;  
“Nah. Still headed for Tortuga. We should be there in a few days, though the wind is coming from east and we need it from the west, so it might slow us down.” Felix noticed Changbin glancing first at him, then at his arm. His expression turned to a slightly apologetic one. 

The captain’s son quickly turned away as he noticed Felix was looking at him. Perhaps a little odd, but Felix paid no mind to it as Jeongin butted in;   
“It feels a little stormy in the air. Though, it might not reach to us. At least not yet.”   
“That’s good. A storm is the last thing we need right now since we have left the Cuban coast.” Felix still couldn’t quite understand what Jeongin meant by ‘feeling’ and all that, but perhaps one day he would. Maybe he would gather courage and ask him about all of the mermaid things… Even though it still felt quite unbelievable. 

Chan was the next one to drop his plate next to Jisung. Felix was even more surprised by the quartermaster joining their table than he was of Changbin.   
“Afternoon, gents. Any plans for tonight?” Shouldn’t the quartermaster know that?   
“Not really.” Hyunjin pushed a piece of potato around the plate with a fork. Seungmin glanced at him before rolling his eyes. It wasn’t a secret that Hyunjin disliked potatoes.   
“Good. Some jackass had forgot to mention that they didn’t repair the two smaller sails that got ripped during the heist and I need you all on it. We’ll buy new ones from Tortuga, but we can’t risk not having enough sails in case of a storm.”   
“Who was supposed to repair them, then?” Seungmin asked. Chan sighed;   
“Mark and Brian. You know how they are.” Ah. Brian had been drunk since the heist, still was, and Mark was too lazy to do anything on his own. Understandable.

Hyunjin whined in displeasure, clearly not too excited of the task that was being offered, Jeongin gently shoved his side.   
“We’ll do it.” Jisung announced, and Felix guessed by ‘we’ he meant all of the people sitting around the table.   
“Great! The sooner you get to it, the better.” 

And that was where they all ended up. Sitting in the middle of the storage deck, everyone with needles and thread in their hands, sewing the torn pieces of fabric together. Hell, Felix had expected a few cuts here and there, maybe a cannonball hole or two, but the sails were looking atrocious. What was even the point of repairing it anymore? Jisung fumbled and mumbled, cursed underneath his breath every time he accidentally stuck the needle to his thumb. Hyunjin was sitting opposite to Felix, Seungmin on his side, though he wasn’t doing anything productive. He was the cook, after all, he was there just to spend time with his friends. Jeongin was on the other corner, trying to figure out which way to patch up the sail. Thank god it wasn’t one of the bigger sails. 

And Changbin was sitting next to Felix. Sewing the torn part, their knees touching. Felix was really surprised by the fact that Changbin had come with them (and even more surprised he had took a seat next to Felix when there was so much free space), he had expected him to go do his ‘captain’s son’ -things and leave them to their own misery. Misery was an understatement, though, the sails were in such a horrible condition that it would take them the whole day to patch them up. Most likely. 

“How’s your arm?” Changbin quietly mumbled, just loud enough for Felix to hear it.   
“It’s fine.” Felix whispered back. The others didn’t notice. Why were they even hiding? Felix had no idea.   
“I hate this, Jisung, why did you agree that we would do this?” Hyunjin whined again. Seungmin rolled his eyes.  
“Because we have spent the past two days doing nothing and I’m going insane! I need something to do!” Jisung nearly poked himself in the nose with the needle. How? Felix wasn’t sure. A walking, talking disaster. 

“I guess this is better than getting sliced up with a sword.” Felix added, just as quietly as before. Changbin nudged Felix’s knee with his own before glancing at Felix and letting out a light giggle. So much for that intimidating son of the captain Felix had first met weeks ago, he thought. Now the boy in front of him was anything but intimidating. Okay, perhaps he was still a little scary. Intriguing. Still intimidating in a way Felix couldn’t really put his finger to, but not as scary as he had been initially. Felix still had so much to learn about him. 

Felix was quite a fast sewer. At least compared to Changbin, who was visibly struggling with his part of the sail.   
“Did you all hear the rumor?” Jisung didn’t like silence. At all.   
“Which one?” Hyunjin tried to focus to the task at hand, but failed, resulting in Seungmin taking the needle from him and continuing his work. Changbin rolled his eyes at the half-siren.   
“The one about the treasure of Fleming?”   
“The British sailor?” Felix asked. He was familiar with the name.   
“Yeah. Bambam said the crew of Andromeda was talking something about it during the feast.” Felix and Changbin quickly glanced at each other – yes, the feast.   
“I heard just that it’s larger than the treasure of Cortez.” Seungmin voiced. He was far much better at sewing than Hyunjin. 

“Have you heard of him, Felix?” Jeongin asked, eyeing first Felix, then Changbin, and then their touching knees.   
“Just that the crown loved him, he used to be a great commodore and a merchant, but turned to a privateer during his last years. Don’t know if he abandoned being a privateer and turned to a whole pirate, though. He visited Nassau once, but I was barely ten years old back then. Is he dead?”   
“Yeah, died like a year ago, sank in front of Vera Cruz while trying to raid it.” Jeongin answered Felix, Jisung continued;  
“Ah. The ladies just, apparently, said that his last treasure is buried somewhere in a remote island and the map to it is somewhere in London.”  
“Isn’t every treasure always buried in some remote island, and the map is missing and god-knows-where?” Changbin had managed to accidentally tie his thread to a knot, and sounded displeased. 

“True. I just wish it would be true, wouldn’t that be exciting! To steal the map from somewhere in London and then sail after the treasure! I would love me some good ol’ treasure hunt!” Felix agreed with Jisung, he would have much preferred a treasure hunt to a heist. Seungmin hummed in agreement.   
“Like the hunt for the golden cup! That was fun!” Hyunjin exclaimed.  
“We didn’t even find it, though.” Jeongin frowned.   
“But the treasure we found was the friendship we made along the way.” That earned Jisung a ball of thread thrown at his head, and some laughter.   
“That island was really creepy, I’m certain someone was watching us the whole time we were there.”   
“Yeah. And the dried corpses in the trees? What in the seven seas was that all about? And the foot prints on the boulders!” 

Felix changed his mind and would certainly not want a treasure hunt if he would have to step on a haunted island with corpses on the trees. How horrifying! Jisung and Hyunjin kept on relishing in the memory, telling, mostly to Felix, how they had survived and turned up too late at where the treasure chest had been buried. It had been empty, unfortunately. Felix’s attention was quickly turned from Jisung and Hyunjin’s very meandering story-telling (something about bog witches and frogs and all of a sudden, the story turned up somewhere in Portugal, or not, perhaps just an island owned by Portugal) to Changbin’s struggle with the sail.

“Let me help.” Felix quietly said, not to interfere the others, and took the needle and thread from Changbin. He poked and pulled, untying the knot with quick fingers.   
“Have you ever repaired a sail before?” Felix asked, glancing at the boy.   
“No? I don’t usually have to do that.” Changbin’s bangs fell over his eyes a little, the curls had got slightly longer compared to the day they had first met. Why did Felix notice that in the first place anyway?   
“Think of it as swording with a tiny sword.”   
“…Swording.” Changbin snorted, but Felix didn’t miss the quirk in the corner of his lips.   
“Yeah. Then you pierce one’s heart with your tiny sword,” Felix explained, while threading the needle through the thick fabric of the sail, “and pierce it again, and then pull the strings together. It’s a three-step set, easy. Nothing you can’t handle.”   
“But you do it differently.”   
“I’m an experienced swordfighter, I know many sets.” Changbin rolled his eyes at Felix, but the smile on his face deepened a little.   
“I can’t believe you’re comparing sewing to swording. Where did you even learn to sew?”   
“I was a wild child. My mother got bored of having to repair my trousers all the time.” Felix grinned.  
“You didn’t have any maids to do that?”   
“We did, but my mother didn’t want them to do all the work. Heart made of gold, you know.”   
“Ah. And now you know more than one way to sew sails.” It was Felix’s turn to roll his eyes at Changbin, before-.

“Hello? Her highness Miss Euryale calls for Felix and Changbin? It’s not very nice to whisper when others are present.” Felix’s head snapped towards Jisung, who looked a little displeased. His cheeks heated up; why?   
“Sorry, I just taught Changbin how to properly sew the sail.”   
“But he knows how to do that already? Unless he suddenly has forgot how to.” Jisung’s frown deepened a little, Felix noticed. He glanced at Changbin. Did he really know how to do that already? 

Changbin raised his hands as a defense;  
“I just know how to stick the needle through the fabric, I have no idea how to make it actually work! And Felix has a different technique!” His statement made Jeongin laugh, and Jisung and Seungmin roll their eyes in unison. Felix nodded, backing the other boy up.   
“You’re just using Felix! And his pity towards you!” Jisung threw the ball of thread at Changbin, who caught it just in time and hurled it right back at Jisung.  
“Am not! And he’s not pitying me!”   
“I am pitying you a little, though.” Felix giggled, returning to his own part of the sail.   
“I can’t believe you’re betraying me like this after all we have been through!” Changbin mumbled; Felix gave him a grin in return. 

After approximately fifteen seconds of silence, Jisung was back to talking, some mindless chit-chat Felix really didn’t pay mind to. He probably should have, but he was trying to focus on the task at hand, and Hyunjin and Seungmin had already joined the on-going conversation of whether to spend all of their money in Tortuga or not. 

Felix liked this. He liked the atmosphere. The cozy feeling, the crackling of the torches on the walls, the waves just outside of the hull of the ship. He liked that he felt a sense of belonging – these people around him did not despise him, they considered him as their friend, and so did Felix, vice versa. They saw him as he really was, they didn’t see him as his bloodline, as his father’s name, as anything but Felix. Felix was living in the moment, not really worrying of what was to come tomorrow, Tortuga was days ahead, and to be fair, he had survived last time just fine, now the town wasn’t new and as scary anymore. And he was with his friends, and he knew how to protect himself, he was just fine. Felix was tired of worrying. 

The laughter, the chit-chat, all of it felt so safe. Homely. Felix belonged here. Right here, sewing the sail, in the evening they would probably join the rest of the crew on their usual card games, Seungmin had promised to teach Felix how to play. Tomorrow, who knew, he could have another night shift at the crow’s nest, perhaps Chan would need him to count some bearings. 

Then Felix realized, he hadn’t spared even a trace of a thought at his past life. At his former home. At his father, in days. Sure, he still missed his mother, but… the longing wasn’t as harsh anymore. Felix wasn’t alone anymore, he had his friends that were going nowhere, right beside him. Felix was… happy. 

He was happy. Despite all of the things that had happened in the span of a week, he was happy. Happier, than he had been in ages, in years. Was it a whim that was going to pass as soon as Felix’s head would hit the pillow? Maybe. But right now, in this moment, he was happy. 

Felix didn’t notice the genuine, little smile that had appeared on his face, stretching across his lips, the little smile lines deepening in the corners of his eyes. He lifted his gaze to Jisung to laugh at something he said, and as he laid his eyes on Changbin’s sew work, he noticed the boy was staring at him instead of the thread and the needle in his hands.   
“What?” Felix quietly asked, and Changbin visibly snapped out of his thoughts, focusing on the moment.   
“N-nothing.” Felix finally noticed the rosy hue tinting Changbin’s ears and cheeks. What for? 

Just a Felix turned away, Changbin continued, whispered, just barely loud enough for Felix to hear;   
“Your smile is just really pretty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohhohohoooo his smile truly is pretty!! as always, thank y'all so much for reading and for your kind comments on the last chapter, they are something that keep this story really going!! also announcement! since summer has begun for me (meaning not as much work with university, save for my summer courses), i will be updating this every week from now on (so most likely on fridays or on saturdays every week)! 
> 
> also i would like y'all to prepare yourselved for a long-ass ride with oceanbound, because i may or may not have only one chapter to write of this fic anymore, and the final work will most likely be 38 chapters with 220k words, so yes, we are only roughly half-way through right now! and ooohh y'all have no idea what's to come! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	21. 21

Repairing the sail had taken them the whole evening. In the end it had just been Felix and Jeongin repairing it, Jisung, Hyunjin and Changbin had given up and just complained about the whole thing and Felix hadn’t been even a tad surprised. When Felix’s head had finally hit the pillow, he had instantly fallen asleep, and to his surprise – no nightmares had chased after him that night. The dreams hadn’t been exactly great either, but they hadn’t been as bad as before! Finally, some progress! 

Changbin hadn’t joined them for the breakfast, and Felix hadn’t, in fact, seen him during the whole day. Perhaps Felix was a little sad about that. When the boys had finally got the sail sewn back together, it had been nearly midnight, and Changbin had quickly pulled Felix over and told him that he should try to get some sleep instead of training the whole night long (Felix nodding off during the last hours of sewing probably had something to do with that). So, they had passed the nightly training, and perhaps Felix was a little sad about that, too, but they would most probably continue tonight so he wasn’t that sad about it. But he kind of missed Changbin’s presence, especially now that he had finally got to somewhat know him properly. But just kind of. Just a tiny bit. 

Felix was sitting in the crow’s nest. Chan had ordered him to look for any ships approaching them or land ahead of them, even though there shouldn’t be any since they were sailing out in the open. It was his first shift in the crow’s nest during the day. The sun was shining, caressing Felix’s skin with its warmth, making Felix feel safe and secure, 200 feet above in the air. Below his feet the crew were doing an inventory of what things they would need to get from Tortuga before heading for their next target. If they even had one. Felix could see Jisung and Hyunjin’s figures peeking through the sails, running over the deck to the kitchens, probably to ask something from Seungmin. 

“Afternoon, sailor.” Jeongin’s head popped up from below the nest.   
“Jeongin! What are you doing here?” Felix, a little startled helped the boy up to sit next to him. Jeongin looked a little pale, and Felix knew for sure it had everything to do with his dislike for heights. So why the hell was he here?  
“I just wanted to come say hi.” Felix cocked his eyebrow at the younger boy.   
“And to escape from the inventory day.” He confessed. Ah. Felix could understand that. Jeongin gripped to Felix’s arm nearly as hard as he could and scooted as close as possible, far away from the edge. To his luck, it wasn’t a windy day, and the mast wasn’t swaying that much. 

“Are they getting anything done down there?” Felix asked, a bit curious.  
“Kind of. Everyone hates inventory day and half of the crew are complaining and slacking with all their might.” Felix snorted, he wasn’t surprised, not at all.   
“I can imagine Chan is getting riled up?”   
“He sure is, I wouldn’t be surprised if we would hear him yelling at the crew to get their shit together any minute now. It’s always the same.” Jeongin gazed at the vast open ahead of him, the grip on around Felix’s arm tightening a bit.

“It’s so beautiful up here…”   
“It is. And you’re brave for joining me to see it.” Felix agreed. The sunlight made the waves look like they were liquid gold.   
“I want to get over my fear of heights. No better medicine than forcing myself up here.” Jeongin’s voice was a little quieter than usually (not that he was loud in the first place, anyway). His face was still pale, hands a little cold. Felix took his hand, circled soft, small patterns to the back of his hand as Jeongin had done to him in the past. To soothe him, chase the fear away. Jeongin glanced at Felix and gave him a little smile. 

Some yells resonated from the deck to the crow’s nest, but Felix couldn’t make out what they were saying. The sails muffled the voices.   
“How have you been lately?” Jeongin broke the silence, glancing at Felix again. Felix thought about his answer for a while;  
“I have been better.”   
“You seem a little tired still.”   
“I know, I still can’t sleep… properly. But last night I didn’t have any nightmares, so I guess that’s good.” Felix chewed the inner skin of his cheek. ‘Properly’. Ha! More like he had been too busy to sleep.   
“That’s great!” Jeongin sounded sincere, Felix really liked that about him; “I see you have got closer with Changbin.” Ah. Shit.   
“Oh. Uhh, yeah, I guess, we have talked a few times.”   
“I haven’t seen you talking anywhere?” Jeongin, please!   
“We… you know, talked quite a lot at Rum Point and after that I’ve met him a couple of times when I haven’t got any sleep and he has been sitting at the stern during the nights.” 

“Ahh, I see. I’m glad you two get along. I was scared that you two wouldn’t come in terms since he was quite… adamant on keeping you in the brig and he shared the same hatred towards your father as the captain does.” That stung.   
“Oh? Well, I guess it’s good he doesn’t hate me anymore.” Felix tried to laugh. Tried to, only resulting in an awkward scoff.   
“He doesn’t, in fact, I haven’t seen him circling around anyone like that in ages. Or more like, never.” What?  
“It’s just probably because I’m, you know… me. He was quite curious of my life in Nassau and all that, so I’m just a new face.”   
“We have had plenty of new faces of here, but you might be right. Still, he seems more interested in you than in anyone. And you’re blushing.”  
“Am not!” Felix felt his cheeks heating up. Why was he blushing? What the hell?   
“You are. You know, Jisung is jealous.” Jeongin gave Felix a little, knowing grin.

“Oh?”  
“You talk to Changbin. He and Changbin used to be as thick as thieves, but they have slowly drifted apart during the last half of a year. They rarely really talk nowadays, when before they used to hang out together everywhere.”   
“Oh… That’s not good.” And it wasn’t. Felix felt a little sad about it, perhaps a little guilty, since this was no new information to him. Jisung had already confessed his jealousy and sadness over a week back in the quartermaster’s cabin.   
“And now Changbin is being friendly with you, talking to you more than anyone apart from maybe Chan. Did you know that before you came, he hadn’t joined us for lunch in two months?”   
“I didn’t…”   
“It’s true. But I’m glad he does so now.” Felix nodded. Guilt was an icky feeling.  
“Don’t feel guilty about it, I’m glad someone is bringing him out of his shell. And I think so is Jisung, he just misses his and Changbin’s friendship.” It was like Jeongin read Felix’s mind. Felix nodded again, gave Jeongin a light smile. 

“How are you recovering?” Felix was still circling the back of Jeongin’s hand with his thumb as the other boy changed the subject, to Felix’s relief.  
“I’m… better. The wounds still sting a bit if I move too hastily.” Jeongin nodded before gazing out in the open again. They could see a ship in the horizon, passing by, far away from them. It was most probably going towards Havana.   
“Are you really half mermaid?” Felix blurted out. Jeongin giggled, shoulders a little less stiff;   
“I am. Didn’t I tell you that during your first night with us.” Felix vaguely remembered it. He had most certainly not believed that back then. Felix nodded, quickly glancing at the boy next to him. The violet eyes… this time they were a slightly deeper tone. 

“Does your mood affect your eyes?”   
“Pretty much. What color are they now?”   
“Deeper than usual.”   
“That’s because I’m a little afraid of heights.”   
“Ah. Was your mother a mermaid then… and father a sailor or something like that?”   
“I don’t know.” Jeongin shrugged; “I have no idea of my father. Could be dead, since he fell for a mermaid. I’ve never really… cared for a father, if you know what I mean? I can’t really crave for something I have never had.” Felix nodded.   
“Didn’t you say you were stolen or something...?”   
“I was. Some sailors found our mermaid hideout and saw that I didn’t have a tail, so they took me and tried to kill the rest of the mermaids. I used to look more like a mermaid, I had some scaly places on my legs and arms, and I had these weird flaps of skin in between my fingers and toes, like fish have fins.” Jeongin looked at his hands. Felix could now see it, now that he really looked, the little lines, paler than the rest of the skin, paying respects to the places where Jeongin had once had thin, little fins, webbed in between his fingers. 

“So you didn’t have a tail?” Jeongin giggled again. Like little windchimes.   
“I didn’t. The scales come out if I’m in the water for a long time, though. The fins don’t. But I don’t miss them, they were pretty hard to do stuff with.” Felix was so fascinated by all of this. A real, living, half mermaid. Wow.   
“How did you end up here, then?”   
“I was held captive in the ship for a while, they were supposed to sell me forward to some guy who needed more attractions for his freak show. But, as I told, Captain Seo got to me first and heisted the ship, taking me under his wing.”   
“You didn’t think of going back to your family?”   
“I did, but I was already too far away. I know I could have found them, but it would have taken me a long time and after all, I was only ten years old.” Felix nodded, again. Understandable.

“And you can… read the sea or something like that?”   
“I can. I can feel it from the currents, the wind, how the sea thinks. What is close, if something is about to change. If I’m in the water, then I can feel it even more strongly. I think there’s a storm approaching us right now, it will reach us in a few days.”   
“…Okay. Uhh, that’s neat.” Jeongin squeezed Felix’s hand, giving him a hearty smile. Felix was a little weirded out, but he had no choice but to believe that. A storm? Not good.  
“I suppose you’re a great swimmer?”  
“I am.”   
“And you can breathe under water?”   
“I can’t, but I can hold my breath for quite some time. But I can’t live under the sea or anything like that. I can spend a good hour or two under the water, though.”   
“Oh, that’s super rad! I wish I could do that.”   
“It is pretty fun. You can see so much life in there.” Felix nodded. He could totally believe that, all those beautiful sea creatures. Everything. 

Then, another question bubbled to his mind.   
“When we were passing the Guadiana Bay, you were quietly staring at it, you didn’t even notice when I waved my hand in front of your eyes. Why?”   
“There were mermaids there, I could hear them talking.”   
“But we didn’t see any? Or hear any?”   
“Just because you didn’t see them, doesn’t mean they weren’t there. They saw us, you can be sure of that. They were talking in merlanguage, so obviously you couldn’t hear them. You just hear the waves rippling and wind in the sails, but I heard a quite solid plan to sink our ship. We just passed by too quickly for them to do that.”   
“…Oh.”   
“Don’t worry, if they had actually tried that, I would have talked to them. Mermaids don’t hurt their own.” Jeongin smiled.   
“I see.” Felix nodded. Now he could somewhat understand how Jeongin worked, why Chan always asked those weird questions from him. So interesting! 

For a while, a silence fell between them. Felix didn’t mind it, he really enjoyed just staying quiet and gazing at the vast open with Jeongin, he was so easy to be around. Felix didn’t feel pressured to keep the conversation flowing. Felix pressed the back of his head against the mast, closed his eyes, let the sunlight caress his skin, warm him up. He let the wind thread through his hair, messing the orange locks up, he let himself soak in the feeling, bask in it. He liked this. No. He loved this. 

“I see you have found it.” Felix opened his other eye to look at Jeongin, who has looking at him with a little quirk tugging the corners of his lips.   
“I have found what?” Felix asked, curious. What had he suddenly found?   
“Freedom.” 

Felix blinked once, twice, before looking at the sight in front of him. The only thing between him and the horizon was the foremast, sails full, and behind that, thousands of miles of boundless sea. He was far away from the place he had once called his home, far away from any and all responsibilities, far away from the rules and expectations. Everything, he had ever wished for, everything, right in front of his very eyes. 

Felix took in a breath, smelled, tasted the salty sea air, the fresh breath of the wind, laughter bubbling up his chest;  
“Yeah. I’ve found it.” 

*** 

The sky was slowly turning orange, clouds in the far horizon tinting to yellow. A light zephyr played with Felix’s hair as he sat on the bannister, Hyunjin was sitting next to him, Jeongin on his other side. Felix and Jeongin had sat in the crow’s nest until dinner when Felix’s shift ended, talking about this and that and nothing. Felix hadn’t dared to ask more about the whole mermaid thing, as he didn’t want to seem too pushy, not make Jeongin uncomfortable. Still, mermaids… They were real. Felix still had a little hard time believing that. All the sailor’s stories… They were real. All of it. 

Wait. How about the sea monsters? 

“Felix!” Seungmin yelled, as his head popped up from the hatch. He was carrying a wooden box with him, Jisung was following him. Felix arched his eyebrow at them. Had he done something wrong?  
“You promised to teach us chess!” Seungmin sounded exhilarated; “Time to redeem that promise!” Oh?   
“Right now?” Felix hadn’t expected this, clearly.   
“Yes! Or do you have anything better to do for this evening?”   
“Not really. Does the board still have all the pieces?” A little smile stretched over Felix’s features.   
“No idea, we’ll see.” 

As every beautiful evening, some crewmembers had dragged a few tables and stools (or barrels to sit on) on the main deck and were spending their evening by drinking, some rum, some wine, some nothing, and playing the same game Felix had tried to understand for the past weeks. He had learned that the rules differed every time, the one who dealt the cards was in charge of rules, and they could do whatever they wanted. It was quite usual to play in favor for the older sailors. 

Felix sat opposite of Seungmin to a small table, on a barrel that was a little creaky. Hyunjin, Jisung and Jeongin pulled themselves stools to sit on as well. Seungmin opened the wooden box and lo and behold, inside was a fine, wooden chessboard. It was in good condition; the box had been its savior from time. Seungmin opened it and placed it in between them. Then, he started to gather the little chess pieces.   
“I can take the blacks.” Felix muttered, he gave Seungmin the white ones and therefore, the chance to start the game. Seungmin divided the sets and pushed the black ones over the board to Felix. 

“This is the king.” Felix lifted one of the pieces up, Seungmin found his king from the white set. Felix placed it in front of him, nearly in the center of his side.   
“This is it’s place. It is the most important piece of chess, and your goal is to corner my king and get a situation that is called “checkmate”. That means I can’t move my king anymore, to any direction.” Seungmin nodded.   
“The queen, the most powerful piece.” Felix lifted another piece; “Next to the king.” Seungmin repeated the steps.   
“The rooks go into the corners.” Felix placed his little towers to the corners of the board on his side.   
“The knights next to the rooks, and the bishops next to the knights. These are more powerful pieces.” Seungmin nodded again.   
“The pawns.” Felix put the smallest pieces in the second line; “The weakest pieces, but sometimes the most important ones.” 

Then he began to explain the moves;   
“Kings can only move one square at a time, to any square around them. Pawns are somewhat similar, they can also be moved only one square at a time, except for the first move, when they can be moved two squares. And they can only be moved forwards.” Seungmin nodded, he was following along. While Felix explained, he showed with his own pieces, how to move them around.   
“Bishops can move any number of squares diagonally. Knights move in shapes like the letter L, for example, two down and one left, two up and one right, but never to a similar colored square they have initially left from. Rooks, any number of squares up and down, side to side, and the queen can move any number of squares along ranks”, Felix pointed at the horizontal rows of the board, “files”, the vertical rows, “and diagonals”, across the board. 

Seungmin looked a little confused now, Felix gave him a little, reassuring smile.   
“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it, it’s very complicated for a beginner.”   
“You know what, I’m not even on that other player’s stool and I’m giving up already.” Jisung mumbled from the side. It made Seungmin look even more determined, so he only nodded.   
“I’ll get the hang of it. I want to, I’m sick of card games.”   
“Good. You’re playing with the white set, so you’ll start.”   
“…Alright.” 

Felix started to further explain how the pieces worked, how knights, rooks and bishops worked the best while played together. How checkmate and check differed from each other, how to promote a pawn, and by the time Felix was done, Seungmin looked winded, and the sky had turned to a deeper shade of orange.   
“What the hell.” Felix could hear Hyunjin whispering under his breath.   
“Of course, we can also end the game to a tie, or other one can give up, but I suppose you do not want that.” Felix cracked a smile to the cook sitting across from him.   
“Hell no. We’re playing until the end.” Seungmin swiped some loose strands away from his face and brought his stool closer to the table.   
“Thought so. Let’s begin, then.” 

Seungmin moved one of his pawns, just as Felix had expected, and Felix answered to the cook’s move by moving his own pawn on the other side. Seungmin looked focused, and when he was focused, a little crease appeared in between his eyebrows, and he scrunched his nose. It was adorable. Felix quickly glanced at Hyunjin, who clearly found it just as adorable, if not even more adorable. How cute!   
“Wait, how did the rooks move again?”   
“Up and down, side to side.”   
“Mhm.” And then Seungmin moved one of his rooks dangerously close to Felix’s pieces. Dumb move, since Felix could capture it with his own rook. 

Seungmin captured a few of Felix’s pawns. Felix could admit to himself, Seungmin was going to be one hell of a chess player once he would finally understand (and remember) all of the rules. Felix could also admit to himself that he wasn’t putting all of his might to his playing, more like lazily moving his pieces around and seeing what would happen. He knew more than three ways to end the game to his victory right now, but he was too lazy to pull those, and he didn’t want to win just yet. 

Not yet, since they had started to gather audience. Felix noticed it, how the other players in the other tables had stopped their games and scooted closer, the legs of their stools scarping against the wooden deck boards. Sangyeon was standing next to Jeongin, following the game intently. Brian and Johnny were leaning against the mast, lurking over Felix’s shoulder every now and then. Felix could feel the crew’s eyes on him and Seungmin, he could hear whispers and mumbling. Bambam sat on the free stool next to Seungmin, multiple rings and bracelets clinking, glimmering in the light of the setting sun. 

Felix poked one of Seungmin’s knights down, and Seungmin looked a little displeased. He had probably thought of an attack with that. The sky had turned to an even deeper shade of orange, now with hues of pink and purple, as Felix captured the other one of Seungmin’s knights.   
“Hmph.” And then, he moved his bishop, which had been staying in the same place for most of the game, to Seungmin’s disappointment;  
“Checkmate.”   
“What? How? Where did that come from?”   
“You forgot the way bishop moves.”   
“…Ah.” 

“Felix, can you teach me, too?” Lisa chimed from behind Seungmin.   
“Sure!” Seungmin and Lisa switched places, and Felix explained the whole game all over again. Now the crewmembers started to butt in more, giving some ‘tips’ to Lisa, who quickly shushed them. The tips weren’t helpful, not at all, more like misleading and results of poor judgement.   
“I bet three gold coins I can beat your ass in this game.” Lisa, eyes twinkling wagered. Classic Lisa, always so keen on playing with real bets.  
“Deal.” 

Lisa was surprisingly good, she most certainly had followed Felix’s instructions and remembered the moves. Still, after a good fifteen minutes of playing, Felix cornered the white king once again, this time with his knight.   
“Checkmate.” And he had won himself three gold coins.   
“Oh, come on. New game?”   
“Nah, we want to play too!” Bambam was quick to shove Lisa away from the stool, and once again, Felix had to explain the rules. He just did it a little quicker this time. 

Even more people had gathered around them, and now Changbin was standing behind Jisung. His presence made Felix feel somewhat more pressured, somewhat more… eager to win. Chan was also following the game, and if Felix was not seeing things, Minho was standing next to him. Bambam was even better than Lisa.   
“You’ve played before, haven’t you?”   
“Years ago, I barely remember anything.” The sky turned to deeper shades of purple, and the crew started to light up torches and lanterns. Someone placed a lantern next to their chess board, the flickering flame made the chess pieces look like they were dancing over the checkered wood.   
“Checkmate.” Felix said, with four pieces left on the board. That had been a close one.   
“You’re good, kid.” Bambam smiled at him.   
“Only as good as I have been taught.” Felix was careful not to mention who had been the one to teach him. 

Jisung sat in front of him next. Felix gave him a crooked smile, and with approximately three moves;  
“Checkmate, Jisung. Never move the pieces closest to king right in the beginning.”   
“Got it, mister chess master.” Felix giggled at him. 

Brian, Johnny, Lisa again, then Seungmin again. Felix was surprised the crew still hadn’t lost their interest. The night fell around them, peaceful and quiet, but the crew got a little louder as they started to understand the movements, which moves were good, and which resulted in Felix winning even faster.   
“Nooo, don’t do that, dumbass!”   
“You scoundrel, not that way!”   
“Yes, no, yes. Yes, get the Lee boy!”   
“Bet on five bucks Felix wins this round, too.”   
“That child is a genius! Or we are just really dumb.” 

As Boom was about to sit on the stool across from Felix, a voice spoke from behind the crew and sent shivers down Felix’s spine. His head snapped towards the direction the voice came from with the speed of lightning;  
“I heard someone is trying to steal my crown as the king of chess.”   
“Aye, cap, this Lee boy be a good one! Bet he could beat your ass, too.” Oh god please shut up please shut up oh no, oh nonono-.   
“We’ll see about that.” 

The crew divided and Captain Seo stepped up to the little circle. He stared at Felix up and down, before looking at the chess board in front of him. Then, he did the worst Felix could imagine, and sat on the stool across from Felix. For a brief second Felix could hear blood thrumming through his veins, his breath got stuck to his throat as he stared into the black, soulless eyes of the captain. The crowd around them whistled and clapped. 

The captain wasn’t wearing his usual uniform with the jacket and all, no, to Felix’s surprise he didn’t have any necklaces on, nor was he wearing his hat. Just a plain white shirt and trousers. Some rings still around his fingers. His long, black hair with a few greyish streaks was tied to the back of his head with a string, the high cheekbones and sunken eyes accentuating in the dim lighting. Scars. So many of them. The captain had been once handsome, as a young lad, Felix could see that. Now the grim look on his face kept away even the last touches of that grandeur. 

“You have the whites, it’s your start, captain.” Felix said. His throat was dry, voice a little shaky, and the captain most certainly noticed that. He glanced at Felix one more time before he moved one of his pawns forward. Felix chewed his lip and stared at the chess board. Would it be wise to let the captain win, keep his ‘crown’? Or did Felix want to show what he was capable of, since his father had certainly been a great player and Felix hadn’t fallen that far from him. Would the captain get mad at him if Felix won? Would he do something? In front of the whole crew? He wasn’t carrying his sword this time. Or perhaps Captain Seo really was good and would win Felix even if he tried his best. That could be a good thing.

Perhaps Felix wanted to put up a fight. Perhaps he wanted to see what the captain was capable of. So he moved one of his pawns on the other corner of the board before the captain had time to get mad at him for taking so long.  
“Who taught you how to play? Your father?” The captain questioned. His eyes flickered, when he spat out the last words.   
“My mother.” Felix answered, truthfully. It had initially been his mother; his father had just taken it from there as soon as Felix had learned all the moves.   
“You know the strategies?”   
“Most of them.” The crowd around them got closer, somehow closing up, wanting to hear every bit of conversation. Felix could feel his face heating up.   
“Good.” The captain moved another pawn. 

Felix stared at the chess board. He wasn’t going to let the captain’s pressuring stare get the best of him, he was not! How much did the captain know of certain strategies? Did he know how to castle? Which piece would the captain move next? Would he play it safe? After a while of pondering, Felix moved another pawn, nearly copying what the captain had done.   
“Brave.” The captain mumbled, moving one of his knights. Ah. Felix could see the way the captain was going and moved one of the rooks. 

Or he couldn’t see the way after all, since the captain captured one of Felix’s pawns, the one Felix had not expected for the captain to capture. Too bad. Felix kept his cool, he kept his face neutral unlike the captain, who had a crooked grin stretching over his lips. Not a handsome look, that was.   
“Perhaps too brave.” Felix didn’t answer. He swallowed the lump in his throat down and stared at the board again. The crew around them seemed to be holding their breaths, intently following the game. A move. Another. It was much slower this time, since the captain and Felix both knew what they were doing, and really took their time in thinking their moves. Felix moved other one of his rooks forward. The captain leaned back, glanced at Felix before the chess board. He wasn’t smiling anymore. Perhaps he had realized Felix wasn’t that bad of a player. 

Felix briefly glanced at Changbin who was standing next to Jisung on Felix’s left. He was surprised to find the boy looking at him, since everyone else was staring at the player deciding their next move, the captain. He was even more surprised by Changbin quickly looking away, as if he had got caught. The captain cleared his throat as he made his move, making Felix focus back on the game at hand. The captain had made a slightly reckless move. Felix figured he had done it to confuse Felix, so he answered to it by moving his rook back to its original place. He wasn’t going to let the captain capture it. 

By the looks of it, Felix had been right. A slight scowl appeared to the captain’s face, and the crew noticed it, too. Whispers circled around them.   
“Five bucks on captain losing.”   
“Ten on cap winning.” The captain grunted before moving another piece again. Felix mimicked his move, as he didn’t see any other possible moves on the board without putting his better pieces in danger. He wanted to play it safe. 

The night had fallen around them, wind still a light zephyr. The shrouds holding the sails creaked every time the wind caught on the bone-white sheets.   
“Did your father play chess?” Could the captain be any more obsessed with Felix’s father? Jesus. He was probably dead anyway.  
“He did.” Felix answered, keeping his voice steady. His face emotionless. The captain moved another one of his pieces.   
“Was he good?”   
“Somewhat.”   
“Are you playing the same way he did?”   
“I’m not, captain.” 

And he wasn’t because at that moment he realized that first of all, the captain was trying to confuse him again by speaking and only moving his pawns, and second of all, he was trying to play it safe. The captain was horrible at keeping his tactics hidden. 

So Felix wouldn’t be playing it safe. He moved a knight forward. The captain arched his eyebrow, moved one of his pieces away from in front of Felix’s knight. Bad decision, Felix captured it with one of his pawns. Which wasn’t a ‘wise’ decision of Felix either, since the captain captured that certain pawn with one of his own. But that was what Felix wanted. His turn again, this time he moved the other knight. The captain pushed one of his bishops to movement. 

“Are you sure that is a good decision.” Felix moved his knight again. The captain captured it, dropping the now-useless piece next to the board.   
“No.” And he wasn’t, but he could read it from the captain’s face, that he had not expected for Felix to go that way. Felix moved one of his pawns, the captain captured it again. Another one, this time not in immediate danger. 

The captain crossed his arms and leaned against the table. The black ink on his skin looked even more faded than usually in the warm light. He was thinking, taking his time calculating his next move. Every now and then he glanced at Felix, who kept on staring at the captain. He hoped his gaze was just as pressuring as the captain’s was, but he was quite sure it wasn’t. Felix wasn’t a man of authority. But he sure as hell loved to challenge those who were. 

Felix could feel it again, warmth dusting over his cheeks. He quickly glanced at Changbin, and the same thing happened; the boy quickly looked away as Felix caught him. Why? It wasn’t like the crew didn’t know they were friends now. Why was he avoiding him (and why was he staring at him in the first place, anyway)? The crew around them was moving, whispering again, trying to be careful to not to disturb the players (funny, how loud they had been before the captain had turned up). Captain Seo moved one of his rooks forward.

Felix moved the lone knight, the captain captured it. Good. Felix moved a pawn. Time passed, Felix’s amount of chess pieces decreased quicker than the captain’s. Good. Another pawn gone, another piece away from Felix’s way to the white king. Then the captain, to Felix’s surprise, moved the queen. Too close. Far too close. Felix moved his king away. The crew around them was silent, no one spoke, and the only thing Felix could hear was the sails. The wind. His own heartbeat. He was losing. 

And then he realized yet another thing, and he had to do everything in his willpower to not smile. He moved his queen forward. The captain arched his brow again, moving one of the bishops her way. 

Just as Felix wanted. 

The captain had moved that bishop away from Felix’s way. The way to the king. Felix lifted the queen from the board, and the captain realized his mistake right on that time. The crew around them gasped, as Felix placed the black queen in front of the white king. Unable to escape. Felix kept his voice as steady as he could, hid the smile and the joy of victory;   
“Checkmate, captain.” 

The captain looked baffled. Appalled. He looked at the checkmate on the board, before looking at Felix, eyes in slits, measuring him up and down once again. To Felix’s surprise, he stuck his hand forwards, still looking grim.   
“You’re not as stupid as you look.” He mumbled, and it probably took all of his might to not just stomp away. Felix took the hand and shook it. The cold rings pressed against the skin of Felix’s hand. The captain’s grip was iron.   
“Thank you, captain. Fancy another round?” Felix swallowed. Be nice, be kind, be polite.  
“No, thank you. I have some business to take care of.” 

The captain rose to his feet as the crew around them hollered. He nodded to Felix, who nodded to him in turn. That was most probably the most civilized conversation he had ever had with the captain. As soon as he stepped out of the circle, the crew erupted to cheers.   
“Chess king, chess king!” Felix finally let out a laugh, shoulders finally loosening up from the tension. Jisung nearly toppled him over, someone was patting his back, most likely Brian or Johnny.   
“How the hell did you do that?” Lisa gently pushed Felix’s shoulder before messing up his hair. Felix had to quickly fix it, as Raul took him in for a bear hug. So much fuss for a little win? was entertaining pirates really this easy?

“I want my five bucks!” Felix heard some sailor yell to his friend.   
“I can’t believe you dared to win!” Jeongin smiled at Felix; “I thought you were going to let him win just because you’re scared of him.”   
“I was going to, initially. Then I decided to just fuck it.”   
“That was some intense game!”  
“I can’t believe you beat the cap’s ass big time!”   
“Teach me, too!”  
“And me!” 

“Alright, alright, that’s enough.” Chan’s voice resonated over the crew.   
“That’s enough for tonight, it’s getting late.” And it sure was. Felix glanced around him, the sun had completely set, and the moon had started its path over the sky for tonight.   
“I want y’all rested for the upcoming days, so time for bed. Those who played with Felix, take the tables and stools down.” The crew complained, they most certainly didn’t want to go to sleep yet. Such a bunch of children. Felix could still feel the blood pumping through him from the satisfaction of the victory, and he was all but tired.   
“That was a pleasure to watch, Felix, I hope you’ll teach me one day, too.” The quartermaster smiled at him, before shooing the remaining crewmembers away. 

Lisa started to gather the chess pieces back in the box as some of the players started carrying all the tables, barrels and stools back in the gun deck and storage deck. Felix grabbed the barrel he had sat on and descended the stairs back to the gun deck, all the way to the storage deck. It took him a minute to figure out where the barrel had been taken from, but as it turned out, it was the one usually placed next to the rum storage. As he got back to the main deck, pretty much everyone was gone, apart from Chan and Sangyeon standing at the helm. 

“You should be careful.” And Changbin. Felix turned around with the back of his heel to find the boy standing in the shadows close to his cabin’s door.  
“Hm?”   
“You should be careful. I doubt the captain will let that go so easily.” Changbin walked over to Felix.  
“What’s he going to do to me, then?”   
“Hurl you over the edge? I don’t know, feed to sharks?” Changbin laughed at the way Felix’s face turned from a smiley to serious in a matter of seconds.   
“I’m kidding, but he will pay you back one way or another. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d have to clean all of the cutlery found in this ship thrice during the next week.” Felix rolled his eyes. How surprising. 

“It’s sort of like swording too, isn’t it? Like sewing.” Changbin asked. The wind swept his black curls away from his face. Felix wasn’t sure, but it felt like the zephyr wasn’t so gentle anymore.   
“It is. Tactics and strategies and all that, you just have to read your opponent.” Changbin nodded.   
“When will I get to teach it to you?” Felix questioned, a little quirk tugging the corner of his mouth.   
“Never. I can barely remember the moves and I was watching you through most of the games.”   
“Oh, you were watching me? I hope you liked the show, then.” Felix joked, and missed the way Changbin’s ears tinted red in the moonlight.   
“It was mediocre at best, would have preferred some more facial expressions.” Felix laughed at Changbin’s response. 

“Felix!” Jeongin called from the door to the forecastle.   
“Oh no. No training for tonight, I suppose?” Felix mumbled, hushed, looking a little disappointed. He didn’t miss the way Changbin’s smile dropped.   
“Nah. Chan wants us to sleep for a reason.” The captain’s son scratched the back of his head, glancing at the sea bathing in moonlight around them.   
“And you know that reason?” Felix cocked his eyebrow, nodding his head to the left a little.  
“I do.”   
“Okay. See you tomorrow, then?” Felix hoped Changbin would join them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, anything   
“See you.”   
“Good night, Changbin.”  
“Good night, Felix.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i sincerely do not know anything about chess so forgive me for all the mistakes i did if one of u knows how chess works. also yeehaw, finally some information about jeongin and his past! 
> 
> as always, thank you so much for sticking with this fic and reading and commenting, i am always so glad to hear y'all are loving this story as much as i am!!! (also i am sorry i do not know how to respond to comments other than thank you, i am just so overwhelmed with the love you all are giving me that i am left speechless) 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	22. 22

As Changbin had guessed, the prize for stealing the crown from the former chess king did not come without a payback. The captain himself had ordered Felix to clean the whole kitchen from the floor all the way to the roof after the breakfast, and that was exactly what Felix had been doing the whole morning – scrubbing floors, scrubbing pans, scrubbing the oven and even the goddamn fireplace. All while Seungmin and Raul had enjoyed their little ‘free-time’ and laughed at Felix every time he had accidentally dropped one of the heavy pans on his toes. But now, Felix was done, only a few hours away from sunset. Oh well, at least he didn’t have to do anything else for today. 

Felix was dragging the bucket filled with filthy rags and soap to the storage deck, a mop in his other hand. He was tired. Dead tired. His hands ached, and he had managed to cut one of his fingers with the knives he had been cleaning. So this day was going great. Just fine. In the morning he had heard Jeongin mentioning to Chan that the waters were not peaceful, and that they would be hit with a storm in a few days. Though, they were supposed to reach Tortuga by tomorrow night, so Felix wasn’t so scared of that. But he still didn’t quite love the idea of the pirate city. He would have to be careful, and perhaps not drink so much of that port wine this time. And perhaps not to talk to every stranger he’d meet if he were to be in a state of intoxication.

Felix descended the stairs to the gun deck, where a few men were playing that same damn card game around the round table. Bambam nodded as a greeting to Felix, Felix gave him a little smile. Then he hopped down the steps to the storage deck, the steps creaking a little underneath his weight. Despite the heavy limbs and heavy eyelids, he was still feeling quite… ecstatic of last night. Somehow the whole chess thing had raised his reputation among the whole crew, and instead of the usual ‘you don’t exist’ -type of treatment, he had earned himself a whole lot more smiles and “good mornings” than normally. Felix liked it. He was proud of his victory. And he was kind of thrill-

Felix nearly stumbled to his own feet and dropped the bucket he had been carrying to the floor, accompanied by a loud clang. In the corner close to the door leading to the bilge, sitting on a barrel and leaning against a table, was Minho. 

And his hand was on violet fire. 

Violet. Fire. 

Minho’s head whipped towards Felix just as the bucket dropped on the ground. He slammed his hand against the wooden surface of the table and rose to his feet, quick. His eyes widened, nostrils flared, breathing hard as he stared at Felix. 

Scared. 

And Felix stared back at him. Just as scared. Minho’s hand was not on fire anymore, but it was… glowing.   
“You- your… Your… your hand-“  
“Please don’t tell anyone!” Minho squeaked. He quickly hid his hand behind his back, but far too late, the damage was already done.   
“It’s. It was -“   
“Please, Felix, I beg you, please!“ 

Felix glanced at Minho, then quickly to the gun deck behind his back. Then back at Minho. He looked panicked, his eyes pleading. Pleading. This was the most of any trace of emotion Felix had ever seen from Minho, and there was a lot of it now. Minho took a step towards Felix, Felix took a small step back. This was nothing like Felix had ever seen before.  
“Felix-“ Minho sniffled. Sniffled. For a few times he opened and closed his mouth before speaking again, with a tone so quiet Felix could barely hear it;   
“Please. Don’t tell anyone, please, they will kill me -” Who? The crew? Minho was shaking, trembling, he looked so… small. All of that threatening aura usually surrounding him was gone. He was scared, Felix could see that. So, very, scared. 

Felix put the mop down, before turning back to Minho. He had no clue what was really going on, but Minho wasn’t the type of person to be afraid of anything without a good reason, that was very clear by now. The boy had mingled with snakes, for goodness sake!   
“Alright. Alright.” Felix mumbled, his hands in front of him, trying to convey a somewhat calming tone.   
“Alright, I won’t tell anyone.” Felix swallowed. He really hoped he would not have to tell and break his promise;  
“But I want to know what the hell is going on.” 

With that Minho’s demeanor took a change. His shoulders seemed to loosen up, he took in a long breath, closed his eyes for a brief moment, before nodding. The mysterious aura didn’t return, though, but Minho’s eyes did look darker than they ever had in the dim lighting of the storage deck. He sat on the barrel again before motioning Felix to take a seat on the opposite side of the little makeshift table. On the table was a lone candle, stearin dripping down the holder. Felix’s heart was pounding. 

“I’m a witch.” Minho blurted out, quietly.   
“What?” Felix croaked.   
“I’m a witch.” Felix’s mouth hung open. What the fuck?   
“You’re a witch.” He just had to repeat. Minho hushed him immediately, scared that anyone would hear Felix’s much louder tone of speech;  
“Ah, sorry. You’re a witch?” Felix repeated, again, now more quietly.   
“Isn’t that what I just said?” Minho mocked him. Wow. Took him an entire second to get back to his old self. 

Felix just stared at the boy for a moment. The candlelight flickered against Minho’s eyes, but there was no trace of lie in them. He was a witch. And suddenly everything made so much sense to Felix.   
“I’m sorry for burning your shirt. It was an ugly shirt and you pissed me off.” Minho mumbled, and Felix wasn’t sure if it was the warm light or did Minho’s cheeks actually turn a little reddish. Felix bursted out laughing; the whole situation was so surreal!   
“It’s okay, you’re forgiven. It really was an ugly shirt, I guess I should thank you for burning it.” 

To Felix’s utmost surprise, Minho giggled. A sound he had not expected to ever hear coming from the other boy. This just turned odder and odder; was Felix sure he wasn’t just dreaming? Minho leaned against the wall to their side, no longer hiding his hand. It wasn’t glowing anymore. It was… just a hand. There wasn’t even any trace of soot on his skin.   
“How come the fire didn’t burn my skin, though?” Felix wondered out loud.   
“Oh, it wasn’t meant to. Just to burn the fabric and confuse you.”   
“Ah. Well, it sure got me and Hyunjin and Jisung and Jeongin confused.” That little, crooked smile really suited Minho. It made him look even more like a cat. His eyes turned to little crescents even at the smallest tug of the corners of his lips. How endearing! 

“Do any others know?”   
“Captain. Chan. You.” He looked at Felix for a brief moment;   
“You have a ton of questions, don’t you?”   
“I do.”   
“I’ll give you three.”   
“Just three?” Felix pouted.   
“That was one. Two left.” Felix opened his mouth just to close it again. The cheshire grin was playing on Minho’s lips again, curling the corners of his mouth.

“Why are you hiding your… magic? I don’t think the crew would haul you overboard if they knew.”   
“Because they definitely would haul me overboard if they knew. You haven’t heard the old folk talk, it’s a surprise they even tolerate women on this ship. And because I’m still a new one. They hate new ones, the weird ones.” Minho hadn’t been on the ship much longer than Felix had, a few months or so, and compared to the other crew, it wasn’t a lot. Felix nodded at Minho’s answer. He had a point, he certainly did. Felix thought of his next question for a moment, this really needed to be a good one! Something, that he wouldn’t regret asking… Something that Felix could get some joy out of…

“Will you finally talk to me during our work shifts?” Minho cocked his eyebrow, perhaps a little surprised by the question;   
“Only if I don’t have to talk to you anywhere else.” Minho remained serious for a second, and then Felix realized; it was a joke. He gave the witch a little laugh.   
“I’ll take that as a yes, then!” He smiled, ear to ear. God, had it taken long time to get through to Minho! A real, goddamn witch! Felix really hoped he wouldn’t have to spend the upcoming work shifts in silence anymore. 

The grin on Minho’s face turned back to serious again, he swallowed.   
“Do you really promise to not tell anyone?”   
“I promise. Your secret is safe with me, I swear. You’re not the only one who has been scared for their life on this ship.” 

*** 

Jeongin was right, the wind had picked up quite a bit during the day. The sails were full, rigging creaked every time a gust of wind blew too harshly. The ship was swaying from side to side, still quite gently, to Felix’s luck. To all of the crew’s luck. The clouds above their heads moved much faster than they had during the past days, covering the sun every once in a while. Felix didn’t really mind it, at least he didn’t have to spend the whole day sweating underneath the scorching sun, the breeze made it ah, so much better. 

But the sun wasn’t all that scorching anymore anyways, as the day was slowly turning to a nightfall. Felix had spent the rest of the day changing some rigging lines to one of the shrouds holding the foresail, just in case the storm was going to be a bad one. The old ropes had been quite frayed already, and in case of a really bad storm, would have snapped and let their foresail loose. And that would not be such a fun scenario, especially in the middle of a storm in the middle of open sea. 

Hyunjin mumbled something about dinner, Felix stood up from the bannister where he had been sitting with Jisung. Jisung was being his usual talkative self, Felix really liked that. Though, he still didn’t know if the boy had talked to Changbin, at least Jisung hadn’t said anything to Felix. It had been weeks since they had chatted about Changbin with Jisung. Perhaps Felix would have to ask Jisung, because if Jeongin was to be believed (and he was), Jisung was still a little jealous of Felix. Perhaps it bugged Felix a little, even if he did enjoy Jisung’s company. And why wouldn’t he, when Jisung was always so fun and cheerful to be around? 

Felix followed after the boys to the kitchen. He hadn’t seen Minho after their little… situation in the storage deck. It had ended fairly quickly, Chan had come look for Minho and asked him to do something on the gun deck, something that required hushed tones and side-eyes at Felix, so he guessed it had something to do with… witchy stuff. And Chan didn’t know that Felix knew. Perhaps Minho would tell him. Or not. Felix didn’t know how close the two were. 

A real witch. Felix had always imagined the witches from the tales to be old ladies with wild hair and wild eyes, that could talk to animals and any language in the world. Minho didn’t look… witchy? Well, he did look witchy, if Felix was being completely honest. All black everything, the quartz stones hanging from his neck as necklaces, that sweet tone to his speech every time he spoke. But hadn’t the witches in Tortuga, and the one in Rum Point, had these weird black crosses close to their eyes, some even had them on their neck and fingers? Why didn’t Minho have those? Or were there different kinds of witches? Maybe Felix would have to ask Minho. Though, he most probably would never get an answer, at least not from him. 

Felix took a plate and stacked some sort of stew made with meats and potatoes on it. They were running out of supplies, he could see that, less and less vegetables on the table every day. It was a good thing they would reach Tortuga soon, though, if the luck wasn’t on their side, there wouldn’t be any fresh veggies or fruits sold. Maybe they would visit some other port in that case, some that wouldn’t recognize them. If there even were any places of that kind. 

Felix followed after Hyunjin to a corner table, where he sat next to Jeongin, in front of Changbin. He had not expected to see him in there, but he couldn’t lie to himself, he was glad to see the captain’s son. Felix smiled at him as he sat down, Changbin giving him a nod of acknowledgement, as he listened to Seungmin talking. Changbin hummed in agreement, Felix couldn’t properly hear what Seungmin was saying, as he was speaking quietly and the clamor emanating from the rest of the crew covered his voice. He stuffed some stew into his mouth, all of a sudden becoming hyperaware that Changbin was in fact, sitting in front of him. 

“Can I sit here?” A quiet voice made Felix turn his head to his right, and he was quite surprised to see Minho standing there, a plate and a cup in his hands.   
“Sure.” Felix quickly made some space for the boy, who placed his plate next to Felix’s. One glance at Changbin and Jeongin told Felix enough, they were also pretty surprised by Minho sitting at their company. Willingly. 

And Jisung was clearly now struggling with his food, since he had sat down next to Changbin, and was now right opposite of Minho. Beet red. Felix nearly giggled, but calmed himself just before the laughter managed to escape through his lips. Minho probably noticed that, he probably noticed a lot of things, always aware.   
“Hey! Minho, nice to see you… sitting with us, bucko!” Jisung managed to shift the air to a slightly awkward one.   
“Thank you, Jisung.” Minho answered with a velvety voice, not looking up from his plate. Oh no, poor boy. Felix noticed the slight quirk playing on Changbin’s lips, how it crinkled in the corner of his eyes. The light coming from the candles on the table danced in his irises. Ocean eyes.

“How are you today, Felix?” Minho asked with that same quiet voice. Just barely enough for the people sitting closeby to hear. What an odd question, if Felix was being honest, but perhaps this was Minho’s way of interpreting Felix’s question to him.   
“I’m good, how about you?” Felix tried to match the level of his voice to Minho’s, but failed. He didn’t know how to speak in that kind of hushed tone. He didn’t know how to sound… mysterious and intriguing.   
“I’m good as well.”   
“That’s great.”   
“Mhhmh.” 

Changbin cocked his eyebrow at Felix, but Felix shrugged it off. He would explain to him later. Or not. This awkwardness in the air was suffocating, everyone stayed quiet, even Seungmin had stopped complaining. Felix gave Jeongin’s foot a gentle push underneath the table, please continue talking, don’t make it seem odd that he’s sitting with us, please, pretty please, and to his luck, Jeongin got the hint. The mermaid boy turned to the rest of their little group;  
“So, do we have any plans of where to go during our visit in Tortuga?” 

And that turned the air back to a delighted one, no pressure, thank heavens (except maybe for Jisung).   
“Do you think we have to do anything else before we reach Tortuga?” Minho glanced at Felix. He was referring to deckboy things, right? Felix shrugged;  
“I hope not, the cleaning day is in two days, and we should be in Tortuga by tomorrow evening. Perhaps we will clean after we leave the port again.” 

Minho nodded, Felix noticed his silvery earring glimmering in the candlelight. Minho’s black, slightly messy hair had always covered his ear, and Felix hadn’t noticed that detail before.   
“Will you join us for Tortuga?” Felix asked, quietly. He noticed the glance he got from the rest of the boys.   
“I don’t know yet. I don’t think we will get very far.”   
“Huh?”   
“Just a feeling. We’ll see tomorrow. If the captain orders some extra supervision over you, remembering what happened last time, then I’ll have to tag along with you.” 

Felix had completely forgotten that thing. And again, everything made so much sense now. Minho was a witch, that’s why the man had complied to his orders. Dear lord. Slight blush dusted over Felix’s cheeks.   
“The captain knows about that?”   
“Of course he does. He knows about everything.” Felix hurriedly glanced at Changbin.  
“Ah. Naturally.” Embarrassing. Very. Felix didn’t really want to know all of the things the captain probably knew about him now.   
“Let’s hope we won’t end up in situations like that again this time.”   
“Yeah, we shall hope that.” 

“What situation?” Jisung finally got his mouth open. Minho glanced at him, as did Felix.   
“A certain situation.” Minho didn’t elaborate, the red on Jisung’s cheeks deepened gradually.   
“That bar thing. The guy who recognized me.” Felix answered. Jisung thought about it for a while, before enlightenment wrote over his features.   
“Ah! That guy!”   
“What guy?” Changbin butted in.   
“Someone nearly killed Felix because of Felix’s dad!” Jisung exclaimed, made some heads around them turn towards their table in the kitchen.  
“Well not ent-“ Felix tried to play it off, nothing happened, everything was fine, Minho was a savior.   
“Someone tried to kill you?!” Changbin certainly did not think everything was fine.   
“No. Yes. Maybe? Anyways, happened long ago.”   
“How come I’m hearing about this only now?” 

Changbin looked oddly annoyed. Well, perhaps annoyed wasn’t the correct expression, worried? Yeah, worried and a little confused. Weird.   
“It’s alright, Minho-“  
“Minho scared the dude off with his amazing skills!” Jisung smiled from ear to ear, gently slapping and leaning against Changbin’s shoulder. Felix didn’t miss the slight quirk on Minho’s lips at Jisung’s remark.   
“…Yes. He scared him off.” Felix laughed; “Chan didn’t tell you?”   
“Nah. Keeps his mouth shut of other people’s business.” Changbin shoved some stew into his mouth. Felix would have expected Chan to tell Changbin about that thing since they were close, but perhaps not. 

Minho remained quiet, but Felix felt the awkwardness disappearing. Minho’s shoulders weren’t as tense, he didn’t just stare at his plate, but the person talking, to Jeongin listing all the places he wanted to visit now that he had gold, to Jisung wondering whether he should get a new charm necklace now that he also had money (stammering a little when he noticed Minho looking at him). He didn’t speak much for himself, actually, not at all, but he did listen. And Felix was glad the other boys didn’t seem to… shy his company (expect for Jeongin, but it was barely noticeable). Perhaps it was a pirate thing, after all, they all did spend their time on the same boat twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, all year round, so they didn’t mind a new presence. But Felix was glad, nevertheless. He wanted Minho to get some friends, since he barely had any. 

Since when had he start feeling empathetic towards the witch? Probably the second he understood why Minho acted the way he did. 

Somehow, the hours passed, and they remained seated around the table, talking about everything and anything, and all in between. Felix noticed the soft gazes Hyunjin gave Seungmin every time the cook spoke. Felix noticed Changbin glancing at him, little smiles here and there, but what he didn’t notice was the little furrow of his eyebrows every time Felix smiled at Minho, asked him a question, tried to match the level of his voice with his, nor did he notice the way Changbin glared at every person who dared to speak over Felix. At some point, Seungmin brought them cards, and him, Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to teach Felix some pirate card game which had far too complex rules for Felix to understand. As most of them did. He wasn’t really a strategist, or perhaps he just didn’t believe in himself enough. 

So Minho may have whispered a few helpful tips to him. Even though Felix understood only half of the rules. And Jisung was jealous, that was clear to everyone sitting around the table. For a brief moment Felix wondered what Minho himself thought of Jisung, but then Chan stormed into the kitchen, looking a little windswept, as he probably was, the ship was now swaying a little more than before, not so peaceful anymore.   
“Why in the seven seas are you still up?”   
“Why? What time is it?”   
“Past midnight.”   
“…Oh.”   
“Changbin, you’re in for the rest of the night. Jackson is in the crow’s nest, if it gets too windy, he’ll get down and watch over the seas from the forecastle.” Chan told the captain’s son.  
“Mhhm.” Changbin nodded.   
“Rest of you, go to bed, tomorrow’s going to be a long one.”   
“Aye aye, quartermaster.” 

*** 

Felix couldn’t sleep. Again. Nothing surprising. The swaying of the ship got more aggressive hour by hour, and it kept him awake. This wasn’t the first time the swaying had got this bad, but the last time Felix had been so tired he had slept every night like a baby. Sure, he was now tired, too, but he just couldn’t turn his brain off. And his head was spinning of every single dark thought again, he had been just a boy. With a contract over the seas. And Felix didn’t know how his mother was, if his family was still alive, if Mister Smith was still alive. If he was, had he been hanged for treason? Or just exiled. 

Jisung was snoring loudly, Felix sighed and rubbed his temples, his eyes, made little lights dance.

Changbin was on the helm, right? 

Yes, he was. Chan had said so. Ordered him so. And Jackson in the crow’s nest. Everyone else was sleeping, allegedly, and by the sounds coming from all around Felix, he was correct. But he couldn’t sleep. So he kicked the blanket off of him, rose to his feet and shuffled over to the door. He heard Lisa stirring in her sleep close to the door, mumbling something about sirens. 

The air in the outside was anything but restful. The main sail was full, it buffed over Felix’s head, the topsails wavering. Felix couldn’t see Jackson in the crow’s nest, the bone white sail blocked his way. But why bone white? The whole ship was so gorgeous and special, yet the sails were just basic white. How boring. The wind caught on Felix’s shirt, tugged his breeches, swept his hair away from blocking his sight. He glanced over to the quarter deck and sure enough, there was Changbin, steering the ship. 

Felix got a little shy, all of a sudden. Why? He sure didn’t know, he had just spent multiple nights with the boy, trying to beat his ass with swords, chatted with him just a mere hour ago in the kitchen with no signs of any butterflies in his stomach. So why the fuss? Felix decided to brush all that off.

Felix hopped the stairs up to the quarter deck, just to find Changbin looking at him with quite a questioning expression.   
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to sleep?”   
“I couldn’t sleep.”  
“How surprising.”   
“I know, has never happened before.” 

Changbin snorted at Felix, leaning against the wheel. His fingers were lazily hooked around the handles, rings glimmering in the moonlight every time the cloud let the light pass through. It would have been a beautiful night, if it wasn’t for the horrible wind. The waves were much larger, crashing against the hull of the ship, every now and then spewing water above the bannister, all the way to the decks. Felix leaned against the railing. He should have brought a jacket of some sort. Or a thicker shirt. Or at least some socks, he still had his own, tucked in a box next to his mattress, where he kept most of his belongings. 

“Rough night?” Felix glanced at the captain’s son. He was staring at the sea in front of him, not minding Felix. The wind swept his hair around, Felix could see all the scars on Changbin’s face whenever moonlight grazed over them. They weren’t as deep and rough-looking as Jisung’s were, just little cuts here and there. One day Felix would ask about them. One day. God, was the boy in front of him gorgeous. Just straight up, heart-throbbingly gorgeous. Felix’s mother would have fawned over him.  
“Not really.”   
“Is it often that you steer during a stormy night?”   
“Not really, and I wouldn’t call this a storm yet.” Changbin glanced at Felix in turn.   
“Then what do you call a storm?”   
“Such weather that the sails need to be taken down and men are flying overboard because of the strong tides and winds.”  
“Sounds horrible.” Felix did not want to imagine men flying overboard in a storm.   
“It does, and if we are unfortunate enough, we’ll have to face that in a few days.”   
“But we’re staying in Tortuga, right?”   
“Right. Though, I’m not sure which place is safer to be in case of a storm, the ship or Tortuga.” Felix snorted at Changbin. He could imagine. Pirates taking advantage of chaos and creating more chaos. 

“Why are the sails white on this ship? It’s so boring compared to the rest of the design. Out of place.”   
“Are you a five-year-old in a horrible need to question every little thing?” Changbin scoffed, which made Felix giggle. He didn’t sound annoyed.   
“Yes?”   
“Budget.” Oh.  
“Budget? That’s it?”   
“Yeah. The sails used to be red, but red fabric is expensive as hell, especially when it needs to be thick.” Felix could see it, red sails over the decks of Euryale.   
“I see.”

“If I could choose, I’d make them black. Or dark green.” Changbin moved the helm a little to the starboard side of the ship.   
“Dark green would look fantastic with the golden details.” Dark green had such a mysterious tone to it, it definitely would fit Changbin’s image.  
“Hmmh.” Changbin agreed;   
“How’s your arm?” 

What? Oh that.   
“It’s better. Stings a bit if I move around too much, but nothing too bad.” Felix glanced at the little wound at the back of his arm. It wasn’t even red around the edges anymore. Just a scratch. Changbin pouted.  
“I’m still sorry.”   
“Don’t be, it happens.” The pout only deepened for a brief second, before Changbin turned the wheel to the port side. The ship didn’t even seem to move in any direction, except forwards, but Felix guessed it had something to do with keeping the ship balanced. 

“Is it hard? Steering the ship?”   
“Not at all.” Changbin let go of the handles and backed away from the wheel. He motioned Felix step in front of the helm.   
“What are you doing? You can’t be serious!” Felix got a little alarmed. The wheel was now turning. He quickly grabbed one of the handles, stopping the motion.   
“It’s easier than you think.” Changbin stood next to Felix, pushing a little his shoulders to take ahold of the other side, too. Felix did that. The wooden handles felt a little heavy in his hands, pushing and pulling. He tried to keep the helm as steady as possible. 

“With the wheel you control the rudder. If the ship starts to turn to starboard side too much, you turn the wheel to port side, and the other way around.”   
“Alright.”   
“You can feel the ship turning, right now it’s swaying to the starboard a little more than it should.” Changbin explained to him, and Felix turned the wheel a little to the port side. And he could feel it, the way the rudder in the back of the ship turned a smidgen, how the horizon far away shifted a little, and the ship was straightening its course. 

Then it struck Felix, his hands were on the handles of the wheel. He was steering a ship.

He was steering an actual ship, something, he had dreamed of since he was a kid. The helm in his hands answered to every little touch. The ship turned a bit more to the port side, and Felix turned the wheel to the starboard side. The movements weren’t large, just little shifts here and there, Felix wasn’t turning the wheel vigorously around. His stomach stirred, but not from fear, from joy. The feeling bubbled up his chest, warmed his insides, tingled in his fingertips. This was everything he had ever imagined, and so much better. He was steering a ship!  
“Worth seeing that smile on your face.”   
“What?” Felix couldn’t hear Changbin’s mumbling properly, not with the wind in his ears.   
“Nothing. Captain.” 

For a second Felix was dumbfounded, and then heat rushed over his face. He let go of the wheel with his other hand, just to push Changbin’s shoulder, and not so gently. Changbin shrieked and laughed, so loud it made Jackson glance down from the crow’s nest;  
“Stop that! God, Changbin, what if your father hears that!”   
“And? Time to throw him off the throne, I’d say.” Changbin smirked, wide and wild. Felix’s mouth was left agape. They were in front of his cabin, for goodness sake!   
“Kidding! The crew doesn’t want a mutiny.”   
“You better be! I’m not even suitable to be a captain.” Felix steered the wheel port side again.   
“How so? It doesn’t need much, just some basic knowledge of strategy and responsibility.” Changbin circled around Felix to his other side, pushed the wheel a little when Felix forgot to do that, as he was listening to the captain’s son.   
“I am the most unstrategic and irresponsible person you’ll ever meet.” Felix was certain of that.   
“Nah, I have met Hyunjin.” 

That made Felix burst out laughing;  
“You can’t say that! That’s rude!”   
“But it’s true!” Changbin tried to defend himself; “his views in the matters of strategy are the worst! And he acts before he thinks. Jisung would be one hell of a captain, though! And Chan. He even wants to be one at some point.” Okay, perhaps Changbin was right. Hyunjin wasn’t really the one to think much of his doings, but Felix could understand that. After all, the boy always got himself out of unfortunate situations, if not by fighting, then by batting his eyelids prettily. 

Speaking of Hyunjin, the door to the crew’s quarters opened slightly. An all-so-familiar figure peeked his head out. Felix quickly pulled Changbin’s sleeve, shushed him. Hyunjin didn’t seem to care, he didn’t even glance up in the forecastle as he scurried through the main deck to the hatch in the middle of the deck, pulled it open and disappeared to the gun deck. Felix glanced at Changbin with a questioning look on his face. Why was Hyunjin up in this hour?

Then Felix realized he was still holding on to Changbin’s sleeve and quickly let go.   
“Going to storages, I assume? Maybe he’s forgot something in there.” Changbin mumbled. Felix shrugged, the captain’s son pushed the wheel to the starboard side a little. Right. Felix should focus on the task at hand. 

And then the door opened again. 

Seungmin. Red hair clearly visible in the moonlight, not sparing a glance on the quarter deck either. He ran over the main deck, opened the hatch just as Hyunjin had done, and disappeared underneath the main deck was well. Ah. Finally. 

Felix glanced at Changbin again.   
“About fucking time if you ask me.”   
“Agreed.” Felix nodded. About fucking time. So Hyunjin and Seungmin most probably had talked things through, just as Felix had told Hyunjin to do a few weeks ago. Had taken them certainly long enough.   
“Wait, you know of Hyunjin’s crush, too?”   
“It was literally the third thing I learned about him. Jeongin told me.” Felix smiled at the memory. Changbin giggled at that;  
“You know, Hyunjin’s been smitten about Seungmin for longer than I can remember, I’m glad he’s finally doing something about it.” Felix could only imagine.   
“And I’m glad Seungmin is… opening up to him, I guess.”   
“That, too. I suppose he hasn’t spoken of his mother to you? The reason he’s become so distant.”   
“He’s spoken of her past, and I do know she died a while ago, but nothing else.” 

Changbin nodded, stayed quiet for a while. Felix turned the wheel to the port side. Changbin was right, steering wasn’t that hard, at least not when they were going just straight ahead. Though, it was probably much harder in case of an actual storm, or in shallow waters with spiky, hidden rocks sticking up from the bottom of the ocean.   
“A sail got loose a few months ago during a storm, it tore down one of the booms in the mizzenmast. Seungmin’s mother was unfortunate enough to be in the way when the sail, along with the boom plummeted into the ocean, taking her with it.” 

“Worst thing was that Seungmin saw it all.” 

Felix’s heart dropped down to his stomach.  
“Oh no.”   
“Yeah.” No wonder. No wonder the boy had that sad aura, no wonder he was so worried of Hyunjin, always a little on the edge.   
“I just. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that heart-wrenching scream he let out, and the fact that me and Hyunjin had to pull him down from the shrouds when he nearly dove after her.” Felix didn’t know what to say. Jesus, the boy had been through so much, Felix couldn’t have even imagined that.   
“I wouldn’t either.” He finally whispered. Changbin was staring at the sea in front of them, a little lost in his thoughts.   
“Thought I’d tell you since basically everyone on this ship knows it, except you, and Seungmin doesn’t talk about it.” Felix nodded again. Perhaps it was good that Changbin told him, at least he wouldn’t blurt out any insensitive questions now. Seungmin wasn’t, after all, as close to him as Hyunjin and Jeongin were. He didn’t know the boy that much, most probably because he rarely spoke of himself. 

“I think we might have to change our swording sessions’ location, though.” Changbin awoke from is thoughts.   
“We might.” Felix agreed. He didn’t want to bother Hyunjin and Seungmin in case their nightly trips underneath the main deck became a habit. And he didn’t want to… get caught? By them either. Then he would have to teach Hyunjin and Jisung swording as well.   
“Do you still remember how to walk with feathery steps?” Felix gave a small smile to the captain’s son, who in turn, rolled his eyes before pushing the wheel a little to the starboard side. His hand brushed against Felix’s, lightly.   
“I don’t think I can even walk with normal feet anymore.”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooo!! finally some information about minho! love our little witch boy with all of my heart! as always, thank y'all for reading, and please do leave your thoughts down below, i'd love to hear them! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	23. 23

“You will not be leaving the ship in Tortuga.” 

“What?!” The crew, nearly in unison, shrieked. The captain leaned against the railing in front of the helm, all mighty and powerful. He didn’t have his huge hat on, because of the wind, Felix guessed. 

“Only those, who will be given orders, will be allowed to leave and fulfill their tasks. Tasks include getting us more food and gunpowder along with cannonballs. Understood?” The captain had to yell, the sails were rustling in the wind, voices getting caught in the gust.   
“But why, captain?” Jackson yelled back. The crew around Felix was restless, mumbling, clearly annoyed. They had been waiting for this for quite a while now. 

Hyunjin and Seungmin were standing next to Felix, Jeongin was leaning against Felix’s shoulder. Jisung was hanging from the shrouds behind them, leg hooked in the ties and knots, keeping him in balance and safe from dropping down into the feisty waters. Changbin and Chan were accompanying the captain on the quarter deck, as expected. Changbin looked tired, Felix felt a little sorry for him. He had left the boy alone to steer the ship in the wee hours of the night, and fallen asleep before Hyunjin and Seungmin had returned from underneath the deck. 

The two seemed a little tired, too, but Felix certainly didn’t feel sorry for them. Oh, he was going to ask about this from Hyunjin, he certainly was. Even Jeongin had looked at them weirdly at the breakfast, Hyunjin being a little more kiddy than usual. 

“Because we will be sailing to meet my brother in Charlotte Amalie in Saint Thomas.” That made the crew shut up. Chills went down Felix’s spine. The other Captain Seo. Oh no. Oh no.   
“You can use your gold in the little town, or wait until we get back to Tortuga. I promise you, my dear men, we will return once we stop by St. Thomas. It is only going to take us a week, maybe one and a half, two if the winds are not on our side.” Mumbling, but far less this time. It seemed like the crew really respected the other Seo as well. 

“Of course, you may also leave the ship in Tortuga, but I can assure you, we will not be waiting for you, and you most certainly will never step on these decks again if you are to disobey my commands.” Mumbling stopped, again. There was no crossing Captain Seo’s authority. 

Felix glanced up to the quarterdeck, only to find Changbin looking at him. Felix gave him a light, just a tiny, quirk of the corner of his lip, to which Changbin answered with a similar, oh so small, gesture. It was kind of their thing now, Felix guessed. What did the captain think of their friendship, the boy wondered. Did he approve? Or did was he oblivious to his son being friends with the son of his worst enemy? He knew everything that was going on his ship, so surely he did know of Felix and Changbin? At least he hadn’t said anything, and Felix was glad. 

“Why the sudden change?” Max spoke up.   
“My brother sent a message, an urgent one.” A message? How in the hell? They were in the middle of the ocean! Had they trained some seagulls to deliver letters? Or… 

Witchy stuff, wasn’t it? There was a crystal ball in the captain’s cabin, Felix remembered it. And Minho was a witch, he surely knew how to operate the ball. That was probably what Chan had come look Minho for yesterday. Wow. 

“A message?” Jisung questioned, but didn’t seem too fazed, nor did the rest of the crew. They were used to this, Felix figured. Probably wasn’t the first time the captain got mysterious messages in the middle of the Caribbean Sea. Hyunjin shrugged. The captain took one final glance at his crew;  
“Complaints may be directed to Chan.” And with that, he turned around and walked back to his cabin, the jacket flowing in the wind. 

“You heard the cap. We’ll reach Tortuga in a few hours. Raul, Seungmin, take a few with you and go buy food for us. Lisa, gunpowder, take a few with you. Sangyeon, cannonballs, same orders. Brian, you have been the last one to make an inventory list, bring it to me and I’ll see if we need anything else.” Chan leaned against the railing. He also had to yell, just as the captain. And somehow, at least to Felix, the quartermaster had even more authority dangling over him than the captain. Sure, the captain was scary, and good at his job or whatever, but Chan… He just seemed like he was meant for this whole thing. Ordering, managing the ship and its crew. His authority was different, it wasn’t in the scary looks and threats, it was in his whole demeanor, in the way he visibly enjoyed being in charge, taking responsibility. Felix sort of hoped Chan would make it to becoming a real captain one day. 

“Dismissed.” The quartermaster nodded and turned to Changbin. The captain’s son had to tear his eyes away from Felix, and perhaps Felix noticed that. They were left standing there, on the main deck, as the crew around them went in their respective ways, some to take a nap, some descended to the gun deck. Seungmin disappeared to the kitchen with Raul, most probably to check on the supplies they would need for the next two weeks. 

If Felix was being honest, he wasn’t exactly opposed to the fact that he wouldn’t have to step on the soil of Tortuga for another two weeks. He wasn’t quite ready to face the town yet, even if he had… grown so much from the last time he had been there. So much had happened, only in the span of a month. More pirates, a heist… Changbin. Why was Felix thinking of him all the time anyways? 

Chan turned around in the quarter deck and hopped down the stairs to main deck, approaching their little quartet in the corner.   
“Boys.”   
“Don’t.” Hyunjin whined, most probably already guessing what was going on.   
“I’ll need you to tighten the cannons, check the knots, everything so that they won’t budge in case the storm will hit us hard.” Chan gave them a crooked smile.   
“Why us?” Jisung whined as well.   
“You’re the last ones on the deck.” Felix glanced around; it was true. 

Hyunjin frowned and oh so theatrically swept sweat that wasn’t there off of his face.   
“You know how to tie them down, right?” Chan stopped and looked at Felix.   
“Sort of.” Then he got an idea; “I’ll accompany Hyunjin, he’ll teach me if I don’t know what to do.” Felix glanced at the half-siren, who looked quite delighted that Felix had picked him out of the three of them. Chan nodded;  
“Sounds fine to me. Jeongin, I need your help on the helm.” And off they went, Jeongin’s delicate steps following Chan’s large ones. 

“I’ll take the starboard side, you the port side.” Jisung turned in his heels and skipped over the deck, up to the quarter deck where the highest cannons were. Hyunjin and Felix walked towards the port side cannons. Saltwater splashed over the edges, making the decks slightly slippery. Wind whirled, tugging Felix’s shirt, pushing the orange locks over his eyes and then away from his face.   
“We gotta push the cannons as near to the bannister as possible and then tie them tightly down so they won’t move in case of some large waves.” Hyunjin leaned against one of the cannons.   
“By large waves you mean…”   
“Those that nearly topple the whole ship over.” He gave Felix a light smirk. 

Oh fuck. 

Felix sure hoped they wouldn’t have to endure those. Hyunjin pushed the cannon close to the edge and untied one of the knots and tied it again. Felix repeated the same step on the other side. It wasn’t hard, Felix knew these ties. They moved on to the next cannon, and Hyunjin got annoyed by his hair getting stuck everywhere, so he tied most of the wild locks into a bun at the back of his head. How endearing he looked! No wonder Seungmin was so smitten over him. 

Speaking of him.   
“So, how’s Seungmin?” Felix untied another knot, only to pull the rope tighter. He glanced at Hyunjin, who, not surprisingly, was blushing. Hard.   
“What do you mean?” The boy quickly looked around him and lowered his voice.   
“You two weren’t exactly subtle skipping over the main deck last night to spend some time in the hull.” The blush deepened, dusting over Hyunjin’ cheeks, turning the tips of his ears pink.   
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”   
“So are you saying that I was dreaming the whole thing?” Felix grinned. Got ya, boy.   
“Yes.”   
“I see.” 

A little silence, perhaps an awkward one. Felix was still grinning, Hyunjin blushing as they moved on to the next cannon. There was three left on the main deck. Felix wasn’t really paying attention, he knew the knots, nothing hard.   
“I’m glad you finally talked things through.” Felix continued.  
“Mhhhm.” Hyunjin hummed, still not admitting to anything, but the blush told Felix everything he wanted to know. 

“So, how’s Changbin?” And then the siren sung back. Felix was taken aback by the question.   
“What do you mean ‘how’s Changbin’?” And just as Hyunjin had, Felix hurriedly glanced over the deck to find no curious pairs of ears in sight.   
“If you saw us running to the hull, then you were with Changbin, weren’t you? He was on the helm last night.” A quick lie? Nah. Enough of those.  
“We’re friends. Am I not allowed to be with my friends?” That earned Felix a long look from Hyunjin.   
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” What? Felix furrowed his brows, pushed the fourth cannon close to the bannister.   
“Huh?”   
“You don’t see it?” What?!   
“See what?” 

Hyunjin gave Felix another look. A little too knowing for Felix’s liking.  
“Nothing.”   
“What do you mean? You can’t leave me just hanging like that! What do you mean by ‘the way he looks at me’?” Felix tried to keep his voice low. This whole thing had taken a rather frustrating turn, it was supposed to be Felix questioning Hyunjin, not the other way around.   
“Nothing.” Hyunjin was now grinning, nearly from ear to ear. His eyes turned to little crescents. Felix huffed. Was there something odd about it? 

Was Changbin really looking at him weirdly? Did he hate Felix?! Was that it?   
“Then keep your secrets.”   
“Oh, I will. You’ll see it, eventually.”   
“See what?”   
“It.” Felix wanted to throw something at Hyunjin. 

“By the way, I know about your nightly swordfights.” Ah fuck. Felix looked at Hyunjin, a little puzzled, a little guilty;  
“How?”   
“Let’s just say that I’m not stupid, I know what a little scratch from a sword looks like, and the last night’s trip to the hull hasn’t been the only one.” Hyunjin pushed the fifth cannon close to the bannister, it took Felix a little while to get the know open as it was tied so tightly.   
“And somehow you and Changbin are both tired at the same time, and have gotten closer without anyone seeing you talking anywhere.” Hyunjin continued.   
“Right.” Felix had nothing to say. 

“Does Jisung know?” He just had to ask. He didn’t want the boy hating on him.   
“I don’t think so, but he knows something is surely going on.” ‘Something’. Nothing! Nothing out of ordinary was going on, just two friends swordfighting during the night in the hull of the ship.   
“Okay. You won’t tell him?” Felix dared to give a little puppy-eyed look to Hyunjin.   
“Nah. But you better start teaching us soon, too. I want in on some royal moves!” Hyunjin had Felix in a corner, and they both knew that.   
“Alright. Deal.” 

But what in the hell did Hyunjin mean by Changbin looking at him? Felix didn’t understand. 

And why was he himself acting so damn defensively about it all of a sudden? 

*** 

This was so much worse than Felix had imagined. 

Why in the hell had they not stayed in Tortuga until the storm would have passed? Whose mind-blowingly horrible idea was it to leave for the seas in this weather? Felix thought he had seen it all in Nassau, huge storms that tore off roofs and waves so high they reached the houses close to the shore but this? 

The rain, it thrummed around Felix, everywhere, like the drums of war. The whole sky was alive, bringing the wrath of every single entity over their ship. Lightning flashed around them, the air was filled with tension, and Felix prayed the thunderbolts wouldn’t strike their masts, otherwise they would be in a huge trouble. A fire was the only thing that would have made the situation even worse. 

The boom of the thunder was so loud it made Felix’s ears ring. He couldn’t hear properly, nor could he see properly – his hair, a wet mess, was sticking to his face, drooping over his eyes and he had to constantly wipe it away. His clothes were completely drenched, the shirt sticking to his back, spilling water everywhere every time Felix moved. He had had to discard his shoes, the deck of the ship was way too slippery, and he had to stay upright, otherwise he’d might have to face his demise in the cold, fearless waves of the Caribbean Sea. 

Felix was hanging to one of the shrouds, trying to desperately to keep it in balance, Jeongin was next to him. Hyunjin was up in the boom, trying to untie the sail, it had to be taken down, quickly. Otherwise the strong winds might catch on it, and with a perfectly timed wave throw the whole ship off balance. 

And that would mean death to every single person on the ship. 

Another huge wave crashed against the hull of Euryale, shaking the ship. The planks creaked and whined, and oh, how Felix hoped they wouldn’t give in to the mighty waves and winds of the storm. The ship tilted too much on the starboard side, Felix’s leg slipped on the wet deck boards, nearly throwing him off balance. Jeongin took ahold of his arm to keep him steady, and Felix tried to give him a thankful smile, but failed. 

The smile just didn’t appear, he was too afraid, way too afraid, he was scared for his life, nearly as scared as he had been in the captain’s cabin and running through the streets of Nassau. Only then had the air been filled with fire, now it was filled with water. Hyunjin looked dangerously close to accidentally falling, but he finally got the knots open and the men above him started to furl it. They were insane. And fearless. Fearless and insane for the climbing up the masts in this weather. Felix couldn’t help but wonder why they hadn’t taken the sails down before the storm got this bad. 

And it was most likely to get even worse. Felix wanted to cry. 

Chan ran over to them, completely drenched, just as everyone else on the deck. He pointed at the other side of the ship, tried to scream something but Felix couldn’t make out the words due to the booming thunder that had just struck close to them. He assumed Jeongin knew what they would have to do, since he pulled Felix along with him, running over to the other side, Chan taking their place holding the shrouds as Hyunjin got down. There, on the other side was Minho, doing the same thing as they had. 

“Max can’t get the knot open!” Minho screamed over the wind, voice anything but soft and quiet now. Felix looked at Jeongin, then at Max sitting on the boom, trying to get the sail undone, then at Minho, who looked somewhat helpless, water splashed over the bannister against their backs, then he looked at Jeongin again, who was afraid of heights and certainly not a fan of climbing up and down the already unsteady shrouds. 

Fuck. 

Felix hated this, he absolutely hated this, he didn’t want to do this, why had the captain insisted on leaving tonight of all nights?

Felix took a proper hold of the shrouds and swung himself on the mercy of the ropes. The wind jerked the lines, but Felix kept his hold. He didn’t dare to look down. The ship tilted again, and he knew, he knew it very well that if he were to let go now, his whole being would smash into the waters below him and against the hull of the ship right after that. Not a very pleasant way to leave the earth, so Felix kept his cool, he really did despite every fiber of his body screaming at him to get down the shrouds and hide into some safe corner of the ship.

But the safest place on the ship during a storm was the main deck. In case of the whole ship toppling over, there was a tiny chance of survival, unlike if Felix were to be in the, for example, storage deck. He would not get out of the storage deck quickly enough to survive, water would flood in too quickly. But Felix shook all that away, he focused on Max sitting on the boom, pulling, ripping the knots with all his might. With calculated steps Felix went forwards, tried to keep his balance. 

He swung his leg over the boom, hauled himself close to Max and hooked both of his legs in the ropes underneath the two of them. Water got into Felix’s eyes, it dropped down onto his back from the sail hanging above him. Felix tried to wipe the droplets away, but it was useless.  
“I can’t get it open!” Max screamed, and the fear was evident in his voice. Felix looked down. There was blood on the knots and Max’s fingertips. Max had been trying to tear them open very hard, apparently. Felix yanked one of the knots, nothing moved. Who in the hell had been tying these?

The whole ship whined with the particularly huge wave crashing against it, shaking it, shuddering it. Felix fished the little knife from his sash and ripped the knots open with it. There was no use to try to get them open with just fingers, someone had tied them too tightly. Felix nodded at Max, stuffing the knife back into his sash. The brown eyes gave Felix nothing but sheer terror back. Felix would have felt sorry for him, if it wasn’t for the stirring fear in his own gut that dominated every single one of his instincts.

They both got down, Felix nearly slipped and fell off the ropes, only to be commanded for the next task. Someone had fallen down the second boom and was being carried into the kitchen, where Seungmin would try to patch them up. To the gun deck, some wall plank had broken, letting water in, Felix fetched some nails and spare wood for Mark, fell two times on his way in the stairs because of the ship’s heavy tilting to the port side. Back on to the main deck, the rain in his eyes again, he was so cold, so so cold. 

Changbin bumped against his shoulder on his way to the quarter deck, tried to give Felix a reassuring smile, but failed. He was scared, too, wasn’t he?   
“Go help Bambam!” Chan yelled at him, trying to tie on of the shrouds holding the mast more tightly. 

Felix had no idea where Bambam was. 

“Forecastle!” Oh no. 

The whole main deck was a chaos. People bumping into each other, slipping on the wet deck boards and accidentally toppling over other sailors. Screaming, yelling, rain and thunder covering most of the noises. Even the waves, they were … rumbling. Felix could hear them, the whole world around him tossing and turning, showing its mighty powers. Mere humans got nothing on the sea. Absolutely nothing. The sea wasn’t under the pirates’ mercy, the pirates were under the sea’s mercy. No wonder they were more scared than Felix had ever seen them.

Felix fell to his knee, scraped it against the wooden boards, and dear lord it hurt. He nearly cried out, but just nearly, he didn’t have time, he didn’t have time to succumb to the pain and wallow in it. He didn’t have time to feel it. He had to continue, he had to keep up, Jisung helped him up and then he was gone, running down the stairs to the gun deck with Hyunjin right behind him, and then Felix was off to the forecastle. 

The ship heeled again, Felix had to cling to the railing next to the stairs. He closed his eyes, please, for the love of god tilt back tilt back tilt back, and when it finally did, Felix surged forwards to the forecastle. Bambam waved at him to come closer, and together they tied more shrouds around the foremast, keeping it in better balance. Felix’s hands slipped against the wet ropes. 

Back to the main deck, Felix only now realized that it wasn’t Sangyeon on the helm anymore, it was the captain himself. How surprising, so he was finally taking account of making them sail towards the storm’s eye. Or so it seemed. 

“Have you seen Jeongin?” Hyunjin basically yelled right next to Felix’s ear.   
“Not after we helped Minho! How so?” Felix yelled back at the half-siren. How in the hell did the boy manage to look ethereal even in this weather? Unfair.   
“I haven’t seen him after that either!” 

Felix swallowed, fear gripped itself around his throat even tighter. He couldn’t be…? And then the mermaid boy appeared from below the main deck and Felix let out a breath he had been holding, but the fear, oh, the fear didn’t go anywhere. 

Run here, run there, Felix was tired, his limbs were aching, maybe he was now regretting the fact that he had not slept properly last night. Very much regretting. Or perhaps not, he had had such a great time with Changbin, but he was dead tired, and the storm only made it all worse. He was getting a little hopeless. Time passed, Felix had to run from the bilge to main deck, there was another hole on the ship’s hull, it had to be quickly repaired, Mark was on it again. 

Chan wasn’t the only one yelling orders, the captain’s voice resonated above the loud boom of the thunder, screaming at his crew to do this and do that and how they were useless and they were going to sink and Felix would have very much appreciated that the captain would have just told them what to do, he didn’t want to think of how they were mere inches away from sinking every time a wave hit the hull of the ship, it leaned a little too much on the starboard side and the masts creaked and water spilled over the decks. 

Felix couldn’t even count how many timed he had fallen during the storm, scraped his knees and elbows on the floor, he knew for sure his leg was bleeding, and it looked like it was bleeding a lot, but it was most probably due to Felix just being wet. Yeah. Hopefully. The blood just spread and dribbled everywhere because of that. 

His hands burned. Ached. Not only because of the exhaustion, but because of the ropes slipping through his tired hands, burning against his palms. Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen. Jisung was nowhere to be seen. Chan looked like death. Jeongin was nowhere to be seen. Minho tugged Felix’s shirt and pointed him to one direction, and then Felix was running over the deck again, slipping, accidentally bumping to god-knows-who.

He was tired, so tired, and the storm just didn’t pass. It didn’t end. It felt like they had been sailing through it for hours, the sun had gone down, and it was completely dark, apart from the flashing of the thunderbolts, piercing through the sky every few seconds. The lanterns were useless, the rain was way too hard for them to stay alight. Hours. Felix was so tired. He wanted to give up, just curl into a corner and cry, to sleep, to do anything but once again tie some knots to shrouds with slipping fingers, pain, pain, pain, everything was pain and exhaustion and why why why didn’t the storm pass? 

And suddenly, a flash, a boom of thunder, something cracked. Oh no.   
“The main mast!”

Felix spun around on his heel, turned to face the devastation above him: the crow’s nest, and a large part of the highest boom holding the upper main sail had torn off. It was hanging far, far above the main deck, only a few thick ropes keeping it from falling down. Some splinters of wood dropped to the deck. Felix could hear the sizzling, the blackened wood gleaming orange at some parts. To their luck the main mast had not caught on fire. It was just. Nearly on fire. And nearly falling down, and if it would fall, it might destroy half of the main deck with it.

“Someone get the fucking sail loose before it catches on fire!”  
“Too dangerous, we can’t risk climbing up! We don’t know how easily the nest might fall!” Chan’s voice resonated against the captain’s. For a brief moment the captain looked angry, but then let it go; just like that. The wooden mast was still smoldering, the raindrops sizzling and immediately evaporating, the mast left a little trail of smoke behind it as the ship once again rose to a crest of a huge wave. They were fucked. 

One of the ropes holding the nest snapped. 

They were so fucked. 

Another rope snapped. 

And another. 

Felix felt someone yanking him from the back of his shirt, he stumbled backwards and nearly fell yet again. The crow’s nest and the remains of the upper boom dropped down, down, down, Felix closed his eyes, quickly tried to cover himself against the bannister in case of the bits and pieces of the mast flying around.

But the crash never came. After a few seconds Felix opened his eyes. The crow’s nest was hanging from a cluster of ropes in between the first and second boom, fifty feet above the deck. The ship leaned to the port side again, a wave sent water flying over the bannister, right against Felix’s back. Felix finally looked to his side, and there was Hyunjin, just as drenched. He had been the one to pull Felix away from the middle of the deck. 

Felix mouthed him a thank you as he straightened himself, only to brace himself on the bannister as the ship leaned to the starboard side in turn. The shrouds above their heads creaked dangerously, but somehow the remains of the crow’s nest stayed put. Thank god. 

“What the ever-loving hell?”   
“This sea really does hate us!”   
“Tie it somehow!”   
“All hands on main deck!”   
“Careful! Don’t pull on the wrong ropes!”   
“Hold the main shrouds!”  
“Take the sail down!”   
“No! Not like that, it will fall!” 

Felix had no idea what he was doing. Chan had commanded everyone on deck, Hyunjin had climbed up with Jisung and Jackson, they were trying to do something about the situation at hand and throwing down ropes for the crew to catch and tie somewhere safely or something like that, Felix didn’t understand, the speech turned to porridge in his ears and the commands meant nothing, he was so tired, the rain kept on drumming, he was so tired of slipping on the wet deck boards and hurting himself over and over again, he wasn’t used to this as everyone else was and he was so, so. Desperate. For the storm to end. 

“Felix! Focus!” Chan yelled right at his face as one of the ropes swept past him, and now Felix had to chase it around the deck as it swung in the wind.  
“Felix, not there!”  
“No, Felix, that’s the main shroud, not that one!”   
“No, don’t touch it!” He wanted to cry, he wanted to give up, he was so lost and confused and why was Chan yelling at him now? Oh, wrong side. 

Felix wiped the lone tear rolling down his cheek away, even though it was useless. No one would have noticed the tear from the droplets of water streaming down his face. He was so tired. So. Damn. Tired. And he had never felt as useless as he did now, he didn’t know what to do, how he could help, Chan was yelling at him again and he just didn’t know how to do anything right. He wasn’t a sailor. He wasn’t a pirate. He was just a landlubber, trying to fit in and he was doing a bad job even in that. 

The ship leaned to its side again, but not as harshly as it had done multiple times in the past hours. Felix didn’t notice it. Instead, he heard a creak coming from the bannister. 

From the cannon. 

And then the knots holding the cannon let suddenly go, ripped apart, finally breaking down against the storm. The cannon started rolling backwards, towards the other side of the deck. Towards Chan. It took a few moments for Felix to get himself to move, he got nearly hypnotized by the nearing havoc unfolding in front of him;  
“C-Chan!” But Felix was too late, the heavy cannon rolled and jostled the quartermaster, pushing him, hard and by the looks of it, painfully. 

The cannon halted to right by the impact and continued rolling.  
“Get the fucking gun!” Chan yelled, Felix had no time to do anything, but he did hear the pain in his voice. He dove after the cannon, even if he knew that it was far too heavy for him to stop on his own. Felix grabbed the other end of the barrel of the cannon, tried to slow it down (and somehow succeeded), but to his luck, Max and Brian arrived just in time to stop the gun before it pummeled against the kitchen wall. Together they pushed it back to its place, and Felix was left alone to tie it on the bannister. 

“What the fuck, Felix!” And just as the words left from Chan’s lips, Felix realized that the cannon was one of those him and Hyunjin had been securing during the day. It was their fault that the cannon had let loose. It was Felix’s fault.   
“I’msorryIdidn’tmean-“   
“Focus, Felix! Get your shit together! And tie the fucking knots so tight you will never have to untie them again!” Chan screamed at his face, he was fuming, his arm was bleeding, the cannon had hit him pretty roughly, and Felix deserved that, he deserved the screaming, it was his fault. 

Chan raised his arm, just to swipe the hair fallen over his eyes away, and Felix’s brain acted on its own accord; he flinched, covered his head immediately, but the impact never came. Felix lifted his head from his arms, Chan was gone, running to the other side of the deck, leaving Felix perhaps a little confused, he didn’t get hit? Chan didn’t hit him for making mistakes? 

Chan wasn’t his father. Of course he didn’t hit him, he would never do such a thing, and then Felix felt ashamed for even thinking that. 

He wiped another tear away, he wasn’t just tired and lost and hurting, he was cold, the cold stiffened his fingers, made it hard to tie the knots so tight Felix would have to never open them again. The ropes slipped, didn’t want to act like Felix wanted them to, he held in a sob, he didn’t want to cry, he wasn’t weak. He wasn’t a crybaby. He could handle this. Except that he couldn’t. Another lean, this time to the port side, the thunder echoed everywhere around Felix, it shook him to his very core, and if Felix hadn’t known before what fearing nature meant, he sure did now. 

But that wasn’t enough. Oh no, the night wasn’t over yet, Felix turned around, someone had just called for help on the other side of the deck, when he heard the same creak again. His brain didn’t register it, he didn’t understand what was happening, he was so damn tired, and then something hit him in the back. 

Felix squeaked as he fell against deck hard, his knees and elbows scraping against the wooden boards once again. And then, pain. It shot through his left side, suffocated him, his whole side was in flames. He let out a pained cry, he didn’t see anything, he didn’t hear anything, just the flaming hot pain on his side. Felix tried to stand up, he really tried, but there was no use. 

He couldn’t stand up. He didn’t have any energy left. He was so lost, so alone, he was so cold, and so, so, so tired. And now he was in so much pain, so much worse and so much more excruciating than the little sword cut to his side after the heist. So. Much. Pain. 

Felix slumped down, pulled his knees close to his chest and curled up to himself, he wished he could just vanish away, he wished the world around him would vanish away, he wanted away, he was so useless and so tired and cold and lost and alone and in so. Much. Pain. 

“Felix. Felix, hey. Open your eyes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohooo the drama! this was such a fun chapter to write, i hope y'all enjoyed it even if it is a little ... sad. 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	24. 24

“Felix. Felix, hey. Open your eyes.” 

“Felix. Hey, I got you. Open your eyes.” Someone shook Felix’s shoulder; Felix was too tired to do anything. He didn’t want to move, he didn’t dare to move, he was hurting all over and so, so, so tired and so, so, so cold. 

“Felix, c’mon. Let’s get you inside, the storm is calming, and you’re bleeding.” Felix knew that voice, he most certainly did. That certain someone wrapped his arm around Felix, and Felix winced, as his side felt like it was on fire, burning. He was lifted from the deck, the voices and noises around him blurring into nothingness. His legs didn’t reach the ground, Felix realized a few seconds later, he was being carried to somewhere. Where? Felix had no idea. 

With the last remaining sparks of willpower, Felix opened his eyes and was met with eyes stormier than the sea around the ship. Changbin. Changbin was carrying him somewhere. He was drenched, just as Felix was, hair sticking to his forehead, dripping water on his face.   
“Hey, you’re awake.” The boy softly smiled at Felix, as he pushed a door open. Hollow steps, suddenly the destruction on the main deck nothing but a memory left behind. Another door, and then Felix’s nose was filled with a whiff of old paper, wood, and something so utterly… Changbin. 

Changbin lowered Felix on something soft, before quickly turning away. Felix opened his eyes properly. They were not in the kitchen. They were in a room that Felix assumed belonged to Changbin. The captain’s son’s cabin. And he was sitting on a mattress. No, he was sitting on Changbin’s bed. 

The captain’s son quickly returned and wrapped a warm blanket over Felix’s shuddering body.   
“Stay awake for awhile, yeah?”  
“Mmhmm.” The words didn’t want to come out of his mouth. What Felix had meant to say was “yes, I will” but there was no use. He just wanted to lie on the soft mattress of the bed and fall asleep, if he was being honest, to get away from the pain and suffering and cold and everything. 

Some rattling, clattering, the ship tilted to port side again, and Felix tilted with it. He didn’t fight the movement anymore, he was too tired, too much in pain. Changbin kneeled in front of him, swept Felix’s wet hair away from his face, hesitated a second before cupping his cheeks gently. Felix was crying, wasn’t he? He hadn’t even realized.   
“Hey, it’s alright, you’re okay, you’re safe now.” Changbin softly swept away a teardrop that had rolled down Felix’s cheek. His touch was softer than a zephyr. Felix tried to stop trembling, he really did, but he just wasn’t able to. His fingers and toes started to sting. Felix took in a shuddering breath. Crying in front of Changbin. How embarrassing. 

“Do you hear me? It’s over, the storm is passing.” Changbin asked. Felix nodded. Was it really over? Felix truly hoped so. It had to be, it had lasted for so long. Changbin let go of Felix’s cheeks, and perhaps for a brief second Felix chased after Changbin’s touch, tried to lean against his hands for a little while longer. 

Changbin lifted Felix’s other arm, gently, Felix grimaced as the pain to his side blazed once again.   
“There’s a wound, I need to check it.” Changbin’s voice was quiet, soft, but not too quiet for Felix not to hear it.   
“Mmhm.” Felix mumbled, he didn’t want to move, he really didn’t but he did as Changbin told him to, let the other boy just move him around as he wished. 

“I need you to take your shirt off.”   
“What?”   
“F-for the wound. I need to check it.”  
“Oh.” Felix felt his cheeks tinting slightly to a rosy shade. Why? Changbin was just going to check his side, no big deal, he couldn’t possibly do that if Felix had his shirt on. He untied the little bow close to his throat and shook the blanket from his shoulders. The shirt was wet, it stuck to his skin as he pulled it off. Changbin didn’t question the deep scar on Felix’s shoulder. Instead he wrapped the blanket halfway around Felix, he was still shivering. 

Felix was too tired, too cold, too much in pain to try to cover himself, to feel ashamed of being half naked in front of the other boy. Why should he even feel ashamed? And why were Changbin’s ears red? Ah, the cold, of course, Changbin was dripping water on the carpet, too. Felix let the boy move his arm again, he needed access. Felix heard Changbin hissing.   
“That bad?” Felix mumbled  
“It’s the old wound, and it’s ripped. I need to patch it up, it looks deep.” 

Felix nodded, he wasn’t surprised, but holy hell was he in pain. And this was going to hurt even more. And he was probably bleeding all over, and now that he glanced down, he saw the little trail of blood droplets coming from the door across the floor to the bed he was sitting on, and the pool that was forming next to him. Now he could feel it, the warmth dripping down his skin on his side. Jesus, he really had to learn how to be more careful. 

“I’m sorry for ruining your bedsheets.” Felix slurred. The toll of the day, the sleepless night, the storm, the stress, the anxiety, everything was finally taking over Felix. He was beaten, weary. Changbin snorted as he pulled a bottle of some sort of alcohol and a spare rag from one of the drawers next to the bed. Felix mentally readied himself for the pain that was about to engulf him. 

“You’re not ruining anything, it’s not your fault.”  
“It kind of is, I was the one tying those knots.” Felix sniffled. He had hurt Chan, he had hurt himself, and possibly more people.   
“Hyunjin was with you, it could be just as much his fault as it could be yours. Besides, those ropes around the cannons were already old and frayed, it wasn’t your fault they finally snapped.” 

Changbin pressed the wet cloth against Felix’s side, Felix immediately yelped and tried to draw away from the pain. Changbin took a better hold of Felix’s arm with his free hand, didn’t let Felix escape. Felix closed his eyes, tears pricked against his eyelids, for a second he thought he had lost consciousness due to the flaming hot pain engulfing him in. Changbin quickly cleaned the wound, or at least tried to.   
“It’s not as deep and bad as I thought.”   
“Good.” Felix hissed through gritted teeth. He felt a hot tear roll down his cheek, his mind anything but cloudy now, focused on the pain. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity to Felix, Changbin dropped the bloodied cloth next to him, let go of Felix’s arm and grabbed some bandages. He pressed another clean cloth against the wound before wrapping the gauze around Felix’s torso, over and over again. It hurt, it hurt like hell, and Felix didn’t even notice he had grabbed Changbin’s shoulder and squeezed it to relieve himself from the agony (though, he certainly did not succeed). 

Changbin made a little bowtie on top of the bandage before taking Felix’s hand in his and detaching it from his shoulder.   
“Oh, s-sorry…” Felix mumbled, the rosy hue on his cheeks deepening a shade.   
“It’s alright.” Changbin pulled the blanket better around Felix. He was shivering, still cold.   
“It’s just the old wound that has ripped a little apart, I don’t think it will need patching up, we’ll see tomorrow morning. If it’s still bleeding in the morning, we’ll stitch it.” God, how Felix hated stitching wounds. But god, how cute it was that Changbin was talking about ‘‘us’’. 

Changbin leaned down, took another clean cloth, and swept it over Felix’s knees.   
“Just scratches, nothing too bad. You’re going to have a few stingy bruises, though.” Felix nodded. Of course he was going to have a few stingy bruises. He couldn’t remember the time on this ship that he didn’t have any sort of injury stinging him somewhere. Part of the pirate’s life, Felix guessed. 

Changbin rose to his feet and took the bottle and leftover gauze back to the drawers. Felix looked at the small pool of blood on the old, once-white sheets. Pathetic. That’s what he was. The other pirates were out there, doing their best and giving their all despite the storm tearing and shredding them to pieces, and here was Felix. Crying because of a little scratch to his side, not able to help his friends and betraying the whole crew. And hurting their quartermaster, and now, on top of it all, the captain’s son had had to be the one to come and save him, Felix just really couldn’t do anything on his own, could he? Pathetic. 

Felix swallowed, tried to keep the tears to himself, he didn’t want to cry, he didn’t want to look weak and pitiful in front of Changbin of all people. If it was Jeongin in front of him instead, Felix could let it all out but Changbin? No. No no. He didn’t want the captain’s son to think that he was weak. 

But still, yet another tear of frustration, sadness and pain rolled down Felix’s cheek, and Felix tried to wipe it away, quickly that Changbin wouldn’t notice, but he did. He turned around just in time to face Felix once again and before Felix knew it, the other boy was kneeling in front of him. Changbin pulled the blanket tighter around Felix before cupping his cheeks yet again.   
“Hey, shhh, it’s alright now.” Oh, but Felix knew that, he was here, in Changbin’s room, safe from the storm outside, safe from everything. Unlike the others, and that was a problem to Felix. But he had wanted to get away, hadn’t he? So why was this a problem now? 

“I know.” Felix whispered, just to avoid his voice cracking. He knew. He really did;   
“I- I just. Am I ever going to fit in?” Felix couldn’t help, he needed to get it off his chest.   
“What do you mean?” Changbin asked quietly, eyes filled with emotion Felix couldn’t really make out through his tears. Hopefully it wasn’t pity.   
“You know.” Felix lowered his gaze, he didn’t want to look at Changbin. He should just be quiet, he really should.   
“I just. I’m so weak.” And it was like a dam had broken down, the tears started falling and Felix closed his eyes. Changbin furrowed his brows, he didn’t seem to understand. 

“What do you mean ‘weak’? Felix, you’re anything but weak.” Felix bit the inner skin of his lower lip as he felt Changbin swiping the tears away again.   
“I just.” A sniffle. “Everyone else is just.” Another, Felix’s voice cracked. “I just can’t do anything like the others.” He finally stammered out.   
“Felix. You’re not the others. You’re you, and you’re doing just fine.” 

Felix opened his eyes. Changbin’s gaze was intense, the depths of the ocean swirling inside his irises. The dim light of the room only made them more intriguing.   
“You’re not meant to do everything like the others. Felix, you’re you, and you are not weak.”   
“But- but-.“   
“No buts. No human is meant to sail in storms like today’s and not get exhausted. And you have been here, what? A little over a month? Those you think as ‘anyone else’ have been here for years, they have already a few bad storms behind them and know how to operate, and they have been weak, at the beginning of their sails, just as you think you are now. But none of them have been torn from their past lives and put on a ship full of pirates like you have, you’ve had to learn everything from a scratch and do it quickly. It can’t be expected from you to understand and know everything, as it can’t be expected even from someone that has been here for a year or two. Sailing is a thing you learn only by experiencing it.”

“And as far as I know, you have been through hell for that month you have been here, you have had to get adjusted on so many different ways, you have had to give so much of yourself because my father decided to destroy lives once again. You have had to go through so much more than anyone else ever has in such a little time. And I know for a fact you haven’t been sleeping properly, you have every right to be tired. You are not weak, Felix, you are one of the strongest, if not the strongest, person I have ever known. You are not weak for bending yourself so far you finally broke.” 

Felix didn’t know what to say, so he just sort of nodded, sniffled again. Changbin swept one more lone tear away from his cheek. Felix’s toes and fingertips were tingling, warmth was slowly returning to his body. Maybe Changbin was right, now that he opened Felix’s situation to him from another perspective. Felix swallowed a lump down from his throat, fiddled the fabric of the blanket around him. He tried to look away, but Changbin was a little too close, his gaze a little too intense for Felix to turn away. 

“T-thank you.” He finally quietly spluttered. This was perhaps a little embarrassing, just burst out like that in front of Changbin, but he was still grateful to the captain’s son. After all, Felix had half expected him to just shrug and call him weak, but Felix was glad he didn’t do that. But Changbin wasn’t cruel, he wouldn’t do that anyway. Or perhaps he would, if he thought so, he always spoke his mind and didn’t lie, at least that’s what Felix had got out of him after a few weeks of their… friendship. 

“You’re not weak, remember that, alright?” Felix nodded, Changbin let go of his cheeks again. Something thudded outside, Felix could hear some yells resonating through the walls, but he had no idea what they were saying.   
“Now, I want you to sleep, we’ll talk and check the wound again tomorrow morning.”  
“But… where are you going to sleep?”   
“I’ll figure it out.” Changbin lightly pushed Felix’s shoulder and Felix was too tired to fight back, so he let his head hit the pillows, wincing as the wound made its presence known.

It was a little scary, how quickly the exhaustion took over him as he closed his eyes, the weight of the blanket comforting him, but Felix did hear it somewhere far, far away;   
“Good night, rest well.”

“You’re everything but weak.” 

*** 

Rippling. Far-away yells resonated from somewhere through Felix’s sleepy haze. Some seagulls. Carefree laughter. Felix’s eyes fluttered open, his eyes slowly getting used to the light around him. Still sleepy, he didn’t want to move, so instead he buried his face deeper into the soft pillow. But something seemed off – when had his pillow turned this soft? It hadn’t been that comfortable yesterday morning. 

Or perhaps it was just a surprisingly good morning and his pillow had somehow turned softer overnight, and it had also started to smell really good. Like old books, wood, the sea… It reminded Felix of something. 

How surprising that he had for once woken before Jeongin and Jisung. They weren’t yelling next to his ear to wake up or poking his nose a bit too hard for it to be comfortable, or pulling Felix’s blankets off of him. Maybe it really was a good morning, and they had decided to let Felix sleep in. Yeah. Still a little odd. 

Felix opened his eyes again, still not adjusted to the light. Crew’s quarters had never been this full of brightness, had they? Had last night’s storm pulled a wall off or something? 

The storm. 

Felix opened his eyes fully and sprung to a sitting position. The pain on his side flamed again, made him grunt. And then gasp. Because he wasn’t in the crew’s quarters. This was not his bed, and not his pillow. Where in the ever-loving hell…? 

Ah. Fuck. 

He was in Changbin’s cabin. Everything from last night returned to his mind. The chaos, the storm, crow’s nest falling down, the cannons, Felix finally breaking down and Changbin carrying him to his room. Shame flared through Felix, dusted over his nose in hues of pink. He had really outdone himself with this one, hadn’t he? Jesus, Chan was probably fuming, not to even mention the captain. 

Changbin helping him. That also returned to Felix’s mind, struck right through him like a lightning bolt. Why? Why had he helped Felix, and why had he brought him here, when Seungmin had been in the kitchen, helping injured crewmembers? And why was Felix’s insides fluttering all of a sudden? 

But then again, did it really matter? Perhaps Changbin had just wanted to be nice, he had seen that Felix had zero energy left in him to do anything, and it was safer for him to be here than out in the decks, where tired feet could have betrayed him at any passing second, sending him to feisty waters. After all, they didn’t want to lose him, in case of Charles Lee still looked for his son (though, Felix really doubted that). But that couldn’t solely be the reason, right? Changbin was his friend now, friends helped each other in need. 

A loud thud came from somewhere above Felix, it drew his attention away from his thoughts to his surroundings. He was on a bed, in a little alcove, the blanket tangled around his feet. He could see most of the room from the corner he was currently in. On the wall next to Felix, in the middle was a pair of windows, mimicking the ones that had been in the captain’s cabin. Heavy curtains had been carelessly drawn over them, letting the light seep in from the gaps in between. Specks of dust danced around in the light, looking like little faeries. 

Felix assumed behind the windows, or to be exact, a pair of doors with red-tinted windows, was a balcony, underneath the captain’s balcony. He hadn’t seen it, but Jeongin had told him there was one. Felix wanted to find out, he didn’t dare to rise from the bed, he was afraid of the pain and afraid Changbin would get mad if he would start nosing around. 

Next to the doors, on the other side of the room, was a desk, books and papers scattered over it, Felix could see some black ink had spilled over the papers. Some candles, some nearly burnt to the end, a lantern. In front of the desk was a stool, just a plain wooden stool that had a stack of books on top of it. 

On the wall opposite to Felix, next to the desk was a bureau, next to it a huge shelf filled with books, books and more books. Changbin really liked to read, huh? Felix could also see a few bottles, scrolls of paper, and a cluster of some kind of violet crystals. A little surprising, Felix wouldn’t have assumed Changbin to own such things. Perhaps they were valuable, and he could make some good money out of them if he would ever be in need to. 

In the middle of the room, in front of the glass doors was a sofa, it’s back facing Felix, a similar kind that had been in the captain’s cabin, red and golden. Opposite to the sofa was an armchair, and in between those two, a chest that, Felix assumed, was supposed to be a little table. It also had a few books on it, as well as candles and a lantern. 

Walls were empty, there weren’t any paintings or trophies, differing from the captain’s furnishing. The colors were the same, though, red and gold, and brown. Changbin also had a red carpet, but there weren’t any stains on it, or at least nothing Felix could see from his corner. How relieving. 

Felix couldn’t see what was on the wall leading to the door (or at least he assumed the door was there since he couldn’t see it from the alcove). More books, perhaps? Next to the bed was a small bedside drawer, with some leftover bandages and a candle on top of it. Felix could see no wardrobe, so he supposed it was on the wall leading to the door, or the bureau worked as Changbin’s wardrobe. 

All in all, the room was much tidier than Chan’s had been, and smaller than the captain’s. If Felix was being honest, apart from the books, it did look like everything Felix had expected. It looked like Changbin, if he could say that. It even smelled like him somehow, Felix could smell the saltwater, the books, some wood wafting through the air. It exuded a certain type of warmth, and a sense of… home. 

Felix could hear some yells coming from outside, he wondered what the time was. It was sunny outside, and the ship wasn’t swinging from side to side anymore, just swaying peacefully along the tides. Last night had really been one of the most terrible nights Felix had ever endured in his life. His kidnapping couldn’t even compare (but the heist could). But Felix had survived, mostly thanks to his friends, and thanks to Changbin. Where were the rest, by the way? Had everyone made it out alive? Had everyone survived? Did they know Felix was here, what if they didn’t?!

A surge of panic shot through Felix, what if they all hadn’t made it! He tried to throw the blanket off of him and stand up, but one sudden kick a little too hard made him wince and moan in pain. Then he heard some clothes rustling, a grunt, something dropping on the floor, before Changbin’s head popped up from behind the sofa’s backrest. He quickly scrambled up;

“You’re awake!” His voice was rough, a little hoarse from the night. Changbin’s hair was a mess, the black locks ticking every direction possible. Felix figured he probably looked the same, if not worse. Then he also figured he was shirtless, and the light pink over his nose turned to nearly crimson. Changbin had, by the looks of it, also realized that Felix was half naked and the tips of his ears shone red. Felix tried to pull the blanket to cover himself.

“Have you been awake for long?” Changbin mumbled as he ran his hand through his hair, tried to smoothen the curls a little.   
“N-no, I woke up just a moment ago.”   
“Okay. Good. Great. Uh.” Changbin swallowed, before he remembered why Felix was in his room in the first place.   
“Let’s look at the wound.”   
“Yeah.”  
“Yeah.” 

Where had this sudden tension appeared from? Or was it because Felix was fully coherent and fully aware that he was, in fact, half-naked in front of Changbin. But it wasn’t even supposed to be odd? So why the sudden change? 

Changbin approached Felix before taking a bottle of alcohol from the bedside drawer and another clean cloth. He kneeled in front of Felix, who tried to move to give Changbin as much access to his side as possible, without making it that awkward. He didn’t succeed.   
“You keep that always in there?” Felix was referring to the bottle. Changbin gave him a little smirk.   
“Only for emergencies.” Emergencies! Hah! Funny. How often did Changbin get emergency situations like these? Or were they just ‘emergencies of the head and heart’, as Felix’s mother had referred getting drunk.

Felix shuddered and held his breath when Changbin started to remove the gauze with soft fingers and slow movements. He didn’t want to cause any more pain to Felix. Felix gripped the hem of the sheet hanging from his other shoulder, readying himself for more pain, but it was useless, Changbin was careful and didn’t hurt Felix any more than the wound already did. 

Felix flinched as Changbin pulled the last layers of the bandage off, the gauze tearing dried blood off of Felix’s skin and the wound.   
“It’s stopped bleeding during the night.”  
“Thank god.” Felix hissed through his teeth as Changbin started to clean the dried blood up. Felix hoped the wound hadn’t bled much to Changbin’s sheets, blood was a bitch to clean, that’s something Felix had learned during the past weeks. 

Felix bit his lip to refrain himself from flinching and hissing with every swipe Changbin did.   
“It’s looking rather good, I don’t think we need to sew it.”  
“How good can a wound look?” Changbin snorted at Felix before grabbing a clean gauze.   
“Better still put this on it in case you try to do some stupid stretchy things and rip it again.” A little smile tugged the corners of Felix’s mouth.  
“Stretchy things include swording sessions, I suppose?” It was rather nice, how Changbin’s arm brushed against Felix’s every now and then as he wrapped the gauze again around Felix. There was a sense of comfort in it.   
“Unfortunately.” Changbin sounded perhaps a little sad.   
“And I suppose I need to keep away from anything that could possibly inflame the wound?”   
“That would be correct.” Changbin tied yet another little bow on top of the bandage.   
“Thank you for the diagnose, Doctor Seo.”

Changbin rolled his eyes, but Felix could see the little smile playing on his lips.   
“No problem, young mister Lee. Feel free to come back any time in case of any symptoms of sickness.” Changbin put the supplies back in the drawer again. For a brief moment, Felix relished in it, how just a few weeks ago him and Changbin had barely spoken to each other, and now they were nearly comfortable with each other. Nearly, because there was some kind of tension still between the two, Felix just couldn’t pinpoint exactly what that tension was. 

Changbin rose to his feet and stared at Felix for a few seconds, with a tiny tug in the corner of his lips. Felix arched his eyebrow, just about to ask if there was something wrong, when the other boy leaned forward and slightly brushed some strands of hair away from Felix’s face, fixing the locks on their own places.   
“Better.” Felix flushed pink, of course his hair was a mess, it always was. A silence fell, the two stared at each other for a moment again. Felix noticed Changbin gazing… downwards and realized again that yes, he was still half naked.

“Oh. Right.” Changbin quickly turned around and walked around the corner to the part of the room Felix hadn’t yet observed. He opened a door, ah, naturally, there was Changbin’s wardrobe as Felix had guessed, but wait- no-. 

Changbin offered Felix a ball of some kind of textile, Felix assumed it was a white shirt.   
“No, wait, you don’t have to, I can just get one from the storages-“   
“Just take it, I don’t need it.” Changbin insisted.   
“No, seriously.” Felix lifted his hands to his chest level in defense.   
“I am serious. I have, like, a hundred of these, just take it.” Felix glanced at the shirt, and then at Changbin. Sure, he had other shirts and not just the lavender one, they were all just in the crew’s quarters, and Felix was in Changbin’s room, and he really didn’t fancy the idea of running across the deck when everyone was out and about. 

Felix glanced at Changbin, into those ocean eyes of his and found them pleading. He took the shirt from the other boy, sighing.   
“Okay, fine, I’ll return this when I get the lavender one washed.” Felix much preferred the lavender shirt to his other shirts, the two other shirts were made of some itchy fabric, the lavender one was soft. Felix dropped the blanket off of him and quickly pulled the shirt over him. It smelled clean, it smelled of old paper and books and mahogany. It smelled like Changbin. God, of course it did. 

The shirt was a little too large for Felix, clinging to his frame a little funnily, but he didn’t really mind. Felix stood up, a little painstakingly and tied the strings in the front to a little bow. Another poet styled shirt, naturally. The fabric was soft, it wasn’t worn-out at all, so Felix assumed Changbin hadn’t used the shirt that much. He tugged the hem of the shirt into his pants and turned back to look at Changbin. The boy was staring at him, with a somewhat dreamy look on his face. 

“Oh. Umm. Sorry about the mess.” Felix noticed that some blood had indeed seeped through the bandage on to the sheets of Changbin’s bed. That seemed to wake the other up from his thoughts.  
“Don’t mind about it, not the worst state I’ve seen that bed in.”   
“Please don’t elaborate.” A little smirk appeared on Changbin’s lips. Felix didn’t want to think what caused the bed to look worse than it did now (though, there really wasn’t that much blood on it currently). Felix guessed Changbin’s scars had something to do with it. Most probably. 

“And thank you, Changbin.” Felix noticed Changbin was about to say something and knowing him, it was something along “no problem, no big deal, it’s alright”.   
“No, I mean really, thank you. For not leaving me alone. I was really lost.” Felix’s voice faded towards the end. A hue of red creeped up Changbin’s ears.   
“It’s alright, I bet you would have done the same for me.” And Changbin was right, Felix would have. It could have been anyone on the ship and Felix would have tried his best to help them.   
“And I meant every word I said to you last night. Every one of them. So don’t feel bad of not lasting until the end.” Changbin added, tugged the hem of his shirt a little awkwardly. Felix swallowed, and nodded. He didn’t really know what to say. He did remember what Changbin had said to him, hazily, though, not clear as a day. He could also remember that he had been crying when Changbin had talked to him. 

“C’mon, I bet the others are looking for us, I think it’s midday already.” Changbin nodded his head towards the corner, so the door was probably there. Felix nodded, his stomach churned, they had probably missed breakfast already, as the sun and the clamor coming from outside suggested. Felix turned around the corner and sure, there was a wardrobe, a rather huge one, and next to it, a mirror and then the door leading to the hallway. Felix was supposed to just follow Changbin as he was at the door already, hand on the knob, but the mirror caught his interest. 

In fact, Felix got startled by his reflection. 

He didn’t look like himself. Not at all. Felix hadn’t looked in a mirror since he had been kidnapped, but the person staring back at him was nearly unrecognizable to him. His hair had got a little longer, hung over his eyes and Felix had to swipe the strands away. The little freckles dotting his cheeks and nose were more prominent than they had ever been, his skin was a deeper tone of golden, the elites in London would have flinched by the sight of him. The roundness of his cheeks was gone, Felix’s features had got much sharper, more distinct. Dark circles were visible underneath his eyes. A scar on his forehead, another on the high of his cheekbone, yet another on his jawline. Felix didn’t look joyful, he wasn’t smiling, he looked a little pained, a little scared, a little tired. 

But still, a little content. A little like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. 

The softness was also gone from his eyes, and that’s what scared Felix the most. Before they had been a soft shade of brown, now they were darker than Felix had ever seen them. Felix could see pain in them, longing, a lot of realizations and growing up. Happiness. Freedom. Somehow his own eyes reminded him of Chan’s, they had a similar hue to them, a slight sadness, and Felix finally understood. He understood what Chan had seen. Too much for anyone’s age. Eyes were the mirror of the soul, after all. 

“You okay?” Changbin was standing close to Felix, looking at what Felix was looking at.   
“Yeah.” Felix whispered into the air. Was he? Felix wasn’t entirely sure. His eyes met Changbin’s through the mirror, and somehow, warmth spread through him, set little fires inside Felix, tickled his fingertips. Yeah, Felix was okay. 

Felix glanced at his own reflection again, only to find himself smiling. Not fully, more of a little quirk tugging the corners of his mouth, gaze gentle, bordering on mellow. Felix was all warm, he looked a little more like himself again, a little softer, a little more free, and why? 

Felix’s heart skipped a beat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my GOD he gave him his shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> ngl, prolly my fav chapter out of all the chapters i have written. the scene you have just read is also the sole reason this whole entire fic exist (yeah, i'm the type to come up with a concept and some scenes first, and then the plot). i am SO glad y'all are liking this fic, i always love to read y'all comments and they make my day so so so warm!! i love y'all, mwah!!   
[twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	25. 25

“There you are!” Felix could hear the yell resonating through the air, hover over the deck. It came from the deck above the forecastle. Jeongin skipped the stairs down to the main deck, Jisung and Hyunjin following suit. 

“What happened?! We were so worried about you!”   
“You just disappeared right into thin air and no one knew where you were!”   
“Are you alright? Where were you?” Felix was bombarded with questions and had to take a small step back, only to bump against Changbin’s shoulder.   
“Chill. He got injured and I took him to my cabin.” Changbin to the rescue, as always.   
“Injured?!” Hyunjin squeaked.   
“Nothing too bad, the old wound just ripped from the impact with the cannon.” Felix gave the three worried-looking boys a little smile. Hyunjin gave him a look that was a little hard to interpret, Jeongin’s eyebrows furrowed a little, he glanced Felix up and down. 

“Where’s your shirt? Is that Changbin’s?” Jisung crossed his arms on his chest.   
“Covered in blood, obviously. And yes, it is my shirt.” Felix could rather feel it than hear it, the hint of annoyance in Changbin’s voice.   
“Were you sleeping this long? We have been looking for you, Chan has been looking for you, too.” Jisung huffed. Felix felt a sting of regret and guilt. He would really, really have to apologize to the quartermaster.  
“Yes, we were, Felix is hurt, and I was exhausted and didn’t wake up to the morning call.”  
“That’s because there was no morning call, Seungmin and Raul were both sleeping, Raul is hurt.”  
“Is Seungmin okay?” Felix asked, mostly from Hyunjin.   
“Yeah, he wasn’t injured. No one was injured that badly apart from Bambam breaking his leg, others just have scratches and bruises and a few broken toes and fingers.” Felix frowned, their best swordsman was hurt. 

“Wait a minute. Don’t you have only one bed?” Jisung bursted, Felix cocked his eyebrow at him. Hadn’t Jisung been to Changbin’s room or…?   
“I do. I slept on the sofa.” The hint of annoyance wasn’t just a hint anymore.   
“So you slept on Changbin’s bed?”   
“He did.” This time Changbin crossed his arms on his chest. 

“Why are you answering the questions for Felix, anyway?” A little wrinkle appeared between Jisung’s eyebrows, his expression turning to somewhat darker.   
“And what the hell is up with these stupid questions? He’s hurt, of course he’s sleeping in the damn bed!” What the hell was going on?   
“We had Seungmin and Irene tending to the hurt ones, yet you brought him to your quarters, just seems a little odd, Changbin!” Changbin took a step closer to Jisung, the younger one didn’t back off, simply lifted his chin a little. Changbin’s ears were turning red.   
“They were both busy. And it’s none of your business, anyway.” 

“Hey- “ Felix tried to interrupt the two of them. Jisung hissed something at Changbin, Felix couldn’t hear what, but he could make out his name.   
“Watch your mouth, Jisung.” Changbin, his voice low, glared at the other boy with a look that sent shivers down Felix’s spine. Changbin was now really, really annoyed. 

“Changbin!” Felix could hear Sangyeon shouting from the helm, and with one final glance Changbin turned around to run to the bosun. Jisung turned around just as quickly and strode over to the hatch leading to the gun deck. Felix was about to go after him, but Jeongin’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.   
“Don’t. Let him be for a while.” Felix nodded. It was probably for the best. He had never seen him and Changbin acting like this, so tense, so… different. Was it because of jealousy? Jisung had mentioned Felix, and it was quite obvious that he was jealous that Felix was spending time with Changbin at the same time Jisung and Changbin had drifted apart. 

He didn’t blame Felix for it, did he? 

Maybe he did. 

“Have you eaten?” Jeongin asked Felix.   
“No, we woke up just a while ago.” Jeongin nodded and linked his arm around Felix’s turning to the kitchen door. Felix finally took a glance at his surroundings: the main deck was still a chaos. Some deck boards had broken, Mark was hammering them back to their respective places. The cannons were tied back to the bannister, with a few extra knots. There were splinters of wood everywhere, and Felix knew he would be the one cleaning them up with Minho. (Was Minho okay? Felix hoped so.) 

Half of the crew were heaving the crow’s nest back up, having already repaired the broken mast. Felix had no clue how they had done that, but he was glad they wouldn’t have to sail without the main mast. Chan was yelling the orders, the captain was standing in the forecastle, watching over the crew. If Felix was being honest, there was still less destruction than he had anticipated, and most of the crew seemed to be in alright condition, apart from a few scratches and blistered knees. What a relief. 

*** 

“Felix!” Felix heard Chan yelling from the other side of the deck as him, Jeongin and Hyunjin came out from the kitchen. He jogged over the deck, Felix’s gut twisted and turned. Oh no. He wasn’t sure he would be able to listen to Chan yelling at him of how stupid and irresponsible he was for not tying the cannons right without crying. Jeongin squeezed Felix’s hands in a calming manner. 

“Can I talk to you for a second.” Chan looked tired, but he didn’t look angry. The wind swept his curls away from his forehead.   
“S-sure.”   
“In private.” The quarter master glanced at Jeongin and Hyunjin, who simply nodded and turned away. Jeongin gave Felix’s hand one final squeeze before he and Hyunjin skipped over the deck towards the forecastle. Chan nodded towards the door next to the kitchen door. Ah. That private. Oh no. 

Felix let the quarter master lead him to his cabin, in through the door before the one to Changbin’s cabin. Felix swallowed the lump in his throat down. The room was just as Felix had seen it while counting bearings with Jisung, still somewhat messy, candles and papers scrolls and ink and quills everywhere. Books, mainly of maps and the seas on the tables. The curtains had been drawn, the room bathed in warm daylight. 

“Sit down.” Chan motioned his bed, which was, surprisingly, made. Perhaps the quartermaster had planned this, or something. Felix fiddled with the hem of his shirt – Changbin’s shirt –, he was nervous. He didn’t like this, it felt awkward, and his mind was spinning from one too many things, he needed some time alone, if he was being honest. Felix sat on the bed, Chan sat down on the stool next to the desk, bringing it a little closer to Felix. 

“Sorry, I didn’t want to do this on the deck since it’s a chaos in there.” Felix swallowed and bit his lip, nodded. He was ready for an ass-whooping. No, he wasn’t. He most definitely was not.   
“I’m sorry. I was really rude to you yesterday.” 

Oh? 

Felix glanced at the quarter master, was he serious? He was. He had an apologetic little smile stretching over his features, shoulders a little hunched. The curls looked windswept, as always. And the eyes were sincere, a little sad, lacking any sort of anger.   
“And I’m sorry for everything, really. I haven’t been a very good quartermaster since you boarded the ship, I have barely had time for you, let alone time to teach you how to do anything.”   
“No, it’s alright-“   
“It isn’t. At least, not to me. I’ve given every single person on this ship a lot of time to adjust, I have helped them as much as I have possibly could, except for you. Yesterday wasn’t your fault, in any way, I should have first taught you how to secure the cannons properly and not just assume that you and Hyunjin could do it on your own, especially since Hyunjin is not the best teacher we have.” 

Felix didn’t really know what to say, he hadn’t expected this sort of outburst from the quartermaster.   
“So, yeah, I’m sorry for yelling at you and scaring you. I saw your reaction, and I want you to know that I would never hurt you, I am not like that.” Felix swallowed, he had completely forgotten that.  
“I know that.” Felix said with a small voice. Of course he knew that, Chan wasn’t his father, Chan was everything his father would never be, Felix trusted the quartermaster more than he would ever, and had ever, trusted his father.   
“I know you would never hurt me, even if I don’t know you as well as Jeongin or Hyunjin.” And Felix really meant that. A small smile spread on Chan’s features. It suited him, contrasted against the sad eyes. Except they weren’t that sad anymore, not now that Felix knew. 

“And honestly, it’s alright, I think the others have taught me pretty well. I know you have been busy, I don’t blame you, you have the whole crew to look after, you can’t possibly be at many places at the same time.” Felix gave the quartermaster a little, reassuring smile, no longer scared of him. Somehow he remembered the first time he had met Chan after being kidnapped, how scared of he had been of the quartermaster back then.   
“Sometimes I wish I could.” 

“So, apart from last night, how have you been holding up? I know this has been a lot to take in and so much has happened during the past month, even for an experienced pirate like the rest of the crew. But are you okay?” Felix thought about his answer for a while, was he okay? In fact, he didn’t think he was. He was a little puzzled. A little winded, a little lost once again, but not because he didn’t know how to act on a ship.   
“I think I’m doing okay.” A little white lie, perhaps, but Felix didn’t want to discuss his inner demons with Chan, even if he did trust the quartermaster. “Apart from this.” Felix motioned to his side.   
“Was it the old wound?”   
“Yeah.” Chan nodded. He was waiting for Felix to continue. 

“Aside from that… I think I’m fine, I’m finally getting the hang of all of this…”   
“A few sleepless nights here and there?” So Chan knew? But what did he not know about?   
“Yeah. It’s the… the heist…” Felix glanced at the floor, bit his lip. Chan nodded again;   
“I know it doesn’t help, but even I really never got over my first heist. Rather than forgetting you just learn to live with it.” Felix nodded, he knew that, that’s what Jeongin, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jisung had told him. But somehow, it was still reassuring to hear it coming from the quartermaster. Felix wasn’t the only one with such memories, even pirates in high positions suffered from them. 

“I’m glad you’re alright, and I’m glad you’re getting along with everyone. Especially Changbin, he’s been a little… distant for the past months.” Felix gave him a quick, small smile. Yeah, he was kind of glad about that, too.   
“How are you holding up?” Felix asked from the quartermaster in turn. He looked quite taken aback, eyebrows high and mouth a little agape, as if he was just about to say something.   
“Are you asking me how I’m doing?”   
“Yeah? Why, of course!”   
“I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that after I got to a bosun’s position.” Oh? Well, that wasn’t good! Why wasn’t the crew checking on their quartermaster, if he was checking on them constantly?   
“I am now. So, how are you holding up?” Felix finally let go of the hem of his shirt (Changbin’s shirt, yes). 

Chan was quiet for a while, stared at the window behind Felix. It gave Felix a second to examine the quartermaster’s features, the scar on his neck, little, faded scars on his temple and brow. Felix only now realized that one of the scars slit through his eyebrows, leaving a small part without any browhairs. The eyes were still dark, nearly pitch black, even in daylight. A little crease appeared in between Chan’s brows as he was deep in thought, Felix noticed that, too.   
“I think I’m doing okay. I’ve been better, but it’s alright. We have just been in such a hurry for the past… two months that it’s been stressing me out. But I think things will get easier as soon as we get back from meeting the captain’s brother.” Felix nodded. He was glad Chan was trusting him. 

A little smile tugged the corner of Chan’s lips.   
“But I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t enjoy the pressure sometimes, I knew how hard this job was when I was voted as the quartermaster, yet I still took it upon me. I wouldn’t change a day from the past two years.” So Chan had been a quartermaster for two years? Quite long, Felix would have guessed a little less since Chan was so young.

“Chan!” resonated the yell from outside, Felix recognized it to be the captain’s. Chan sighed and stood up from his stool. He glanced at Felix once more;   
“Thank you, Felix. You have a heart of gold. Don’t ever let go of that.” 

*** 

Somehow, they had managed to repair the whole crow’s nest during the day. Or, the crew had, Felix had done nothing but tried to be of help, but with his side hurting badly, and Jeongin constantly telling him to quit it for he was hurt, Felix had just stood on the side and watched the pirates work. They had had just enough spare wood and nails and hammers and ropes to repair the nest, but if something else (a ships hull, for example) was to break now, or during the upcoming sail back, they wouldn’t have any equipment left. So, Felix truly hoped their sail would be easy and quick, with no obstacles to overcome. 

The crow’s nest wasn’t the only thing they had to repair, unfortunately. Even Felix had taken part in fastening new ropes around the bannisters and cannons and carrying things around the ship as much as he possibly could without hurting much. And the cleaning, oh, the cleaning. Luckily, him and Minho hadn’t had to do everything alone, a bunch of others had accompanied them to scrub the floors from the sea salt that had stuck to the deck boards from the waves that had crashed over the bannister last night. Salt made the boards slippery, so they had to be cleaned. 

Last night. It kept on returning to Felix’s head, occupying his thoughts. At the same time, he felt a little ashamed, a little nauseous, a little scared, a little… warm. Why? Felix couldn’t understand. He couldn’t understand why Changbin had really helped him in the first place, when there had been Seungmin already tending to the injured ones. Felix couldn’t understand, why him. And why had Changbin said… all that to him? He wasn’t really known as the type to just open his heart. Or perhaps he was. After all, Felix didn’t really know. From what he could understand from the others, what he had caught from the discussions during the weeks, Changbin had been distant and hadn’t spent time with his friends nearly at all for a few months, that was, until Felix had boarded the ship. After that, Felix could say that Changbin had been quite the opposite to distant. And that’s what Felix couldn’t really get the hang of, now that he really thought of it, why wasn’t he distant? What had changed? 

“Dinner is served!” Hyunjin’s head popped up from the upper deck. Felix and Jeongin were scrubbing the last remaining bits of the salt from the quarter deck. Felix wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead before tossing his scrub into a bucket full of dirty rags and water. Jeongin looked tired. He had been quiet for most of the day, either he noticed that Felix was way too occupied with his own thoughts, or he had something on his mind, too. Or he just didn’t feel like talking, Jeongin knew how to appreciate silence. Especially after such a loud night. 

“Coming.” Felix helped the half-mermaid up from the floor. His knees were aching, so was his side. But it could have been worse, the throbbing wasn’t that intense, just… there. It was there, Felix could feel it, but it could have been worse. Everyone was slowly making their way inside the kitchen, Felix could see tired eyes, pairs of shoulders a little hunched. Felix was no different, he knew it. He cracked a small smile to Max, who had little bandages around the tips of his fingers. 

The kitchen was filled with people, as always (still, a little less amount of people from what they had started the sail with). Seungmin and Raul, with a nasty cut to his arm, had tried their best to somehow treat the crew for surviving the storm, and had performed some magic in the kitchen, and their little buffet was filled with food, more than usually. Felix took himself a plate, stacked it full and followed after Jeongin and Hyunjin to a table near the corner of the room. Jisung was already seated, with, lo and behold, Minho sitting opposite to him. Felix and Hyunjin shared a curious glance before sitting down next to the boys. 

“Felix! How’s your side?” Minho turned to him as Felix sat down next to Jeongin, opposite to Hyunjin who had sat next to Jisung.   
“It’s alright. Could be worse, could be better.”   
“Well, that’s good then, if it could be worse. Last night wasn’t a very delightful one.” Minho had a little, fresh scratch on the high of his cheekbone, Felix assumed he had got it last night.   
“No, it certainly wasn’t.” Felix didn’t miss the way Jisung’s gaze averted from him immediately when Felix looked at the boy. Was he mad? Felix hoped not. Jealous? Probably. 

Minho turned back to his conversation with Jisung;   
“So, you were telling me about Singapore.”   
“A-ah, yes, I was, I, uhm. So. You see…” Jisung’s face was beet red, and the situation felt a little funny. Jeongin nudged Felix’s side – the healthy side – and Felix gave him a quick, knowing smile. Felix stayed quiet and listened to the conversation between Jisung and Minho, he didn’t want to interfere or question further as he didn’t… want to make Jisung any more annoyed at him. It was still sort of endearing, though, how Minho made little remarks and question that lead Jisung’s storytelling even further deep into the Singapore. Hyunjin and Jeongin had most likely heard the story a hundred times and a hundred times over, so they both were chatting about something and nothing, mindlessly talking. They were tired, Felix could see that. 

Changbin placed his plate next to Hyunjin, opposite to Felix. He gave Felix a small smile, which Felix returned hastily before returning back to his plate. It only took a minute until Chan dropped his plate next to them. Again, Felix smiled at the quartermaster. 

Felix noticed Changbin looking at him with one arched eyebrow.   
“What?” Felix questioned the boy sitting in front of him, the tips of his ears turning a shade more red.   
“Nothing.” Changbin muttered, just barely loud enough for Felix to hear; “you just have something in the corner of your mouth.” For a second Felix just stared at the boy, before the blush dusted over his cheeks as he quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand (how disgusting, Felix, would Amelia Lee had said). 

It didn’t take long for Seungmin to also join them, Chan made some space for him on the wide bench. Laughter, prattling, murmurs, all around the kitchen. It all felt so… comfortable. The lanterns and candles on the tables drew long shadows on the walls, but the shadows weren’t threatening, quite the opposite, actually. They felt safe. Felix felt safe. The spell last night’s storm had put on the crew was slowly wearing off, leaving them in a somewhat content haze that no one had died, and everything had turned out quite well in the end. 

“Felix.” Felix lifted his gaze from his plate, where it had been transfixed for the past minutes.   
“Hyunjin.” Felix leaned towards the boy to hear him better. Jisung and Minho weren’t paying attention (or perhaps Minho was), Jisung had finally evolved his story to something great and was thrilled to finally tell it to Minho. How endearing!   
“So. When are you going to teach us some royal sword battle movements?” Felix bursted out laughing at Hyunjin’s question. He quickly glanced at Changbin, who, to his surprise, didn’t look all that pleased.   
“Whenever you guys are ready!” Felix answered, catching Jeongin’s attention as well. And by the looks of it, also Jisung’s, even if he tried not to show it (“So, anyways, where was I…”). 

“I don’t think that’s very smart, at least not yet.” Changbin didn’t sound pleased, either.   
“I can teach without using a sword myself.” Felix defended himself. Changbin looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and scoffed.   
“How?” Felix thought for a little of his answer;  
“You all can battle each other, and I only need to show the movements which I can do slowly and without a sword. For the time being, that is, and that wound probably won’t even take long to heal.” Changbin still didn’t look pleased, and perhaps Felix didn’t entirely understand. Was he worried?  
“Besides, I think your skills are good enough that you can do the first moves for me.” And before Felix realized, their little shared secret was out. Not that it was so secret anymore now that Hyunjin and Seungmin knew about it, Jeongin had probably guessed and Jisung had a hunch, and Minho knew always everything. So did Chan. 

Changbin rolled his eyes, but Felix didn’t miss the way the corner of his lips quirked upwards. Hyunjin snickered, Jisung and Minho had quieted down. Felix kind of didn’t dare to look at Jisung.   
“Alright. I guess we’ll have to endure some company, then.”   
“Can we start tomorrow?” Hyunjin sounded thrilled, and certainly didn’t care of Changbin’s opinions.   
“Sure, I don’t see why not, it’s not like we have much to do, anyway.” Felix smiled at the boy.   
“The storm threw us off the course quite a bit, so you’ll most likely have a few days more of boredom before we reach St. Thomas.” Chan announced from next to Felix.   
“That’s settled then!” Jeongin seemed to lighten up from his somewhat gloomy mood.   
“How much?” Changbin asked. Chan huffed;  
“Fifty miles or so.”  
“That’s a lot.”   
“I know. The currents weren’t kind to us.” 

“Will you be joining us?” Felix turned to Chan, as he guessed Seungmin was already in.   
“If I have time.” He smiled at Felix a little apologetically. Oh, the busy life of the quartermaster.  
“Can I join, too?” Felix turned to Minho, a little surprised.   
“Of course you can!” He hadn’t assumed the witch would want to participate, but Felix guessed it was a handy thing to learn, even for Minho. 

Jisung didn’t say anything, but Felix had a hunch he wouldn’t miss out on this. Felix would have to talk to him in private, or something. He didn’t want bad blood between them. He liked Jisung, he was a good friend, one of the first ones Felix had got on the ship. He would have to fix this, whatever ice was growing in between them, Felix would have to break it. 

The conversation shifted to another topic, Felix ever so often taking part in it. Rumors, quickly heard from Tortuga, about St. Thomas and Charlotte Amalie. Funny name for a town, really. Felix noticed how Changbin didn’t talk to Jisung, and Jisung didn’t talk to Changbin. More than once they spoke over each other, which only made the other boys share worried glances, this wasn’t usual for them, apparently. Felix wondered if they had even actually fought before. 

The conversation flowed on, how the other Captain Seo, and the crew of Medusa, were doing, if someone called Jihyo was doing good, apparently, she was the quartermaster of Medusa, and she and Chan were somewhat close. They had sailed under the same flag at some point. Felix had no idea of who she was, but she sounded like a good person. And would Chan even be friends with someone who wasn’t a good person? 

Felix noticed how other people were leaving the kitchen, it was probably getting late. He was tired, but not that tired. Not sleepy. He listened to the others talking, laughed along with them, leaned against Jeongin’s shoulder and mindlessly played with his fingers. He noticed how Minho was slowly, but surely opening up. He was talking more, giggling like little windchimes, taking part in the conversations. Jeongin didn’t shy away from him anymore, but Felix still noticed him glancing at the witch ever so often, with a small crease between his eyebrows, deep in thought. Jeongin knew there was something going on with Minho, didn’t he? He just didn’t know what it was. And Felix wasn’t going to tell, as he had promised. 

Seungmin nearly dozed off against Chan’s shoulder, to which the older one responded by gently wrapping a hand around him for support. Soon Felix noticed that they were the only ones left in the kitchen, the rest of the crew had most likely gone to sleep. But they weren’t in a haste, apparently, even if Jeongin was constantly yawning and the atmosphere of sleepiness lulled above their heads, getting heavier with every passing moment. The conversation was still flowing, smoothly, without pressure. Even Chan had time for them, for once. 

At some point, Felix’s gaze fell on Changbin. It fell on the way Changbin’s eyes squinted and nose scrunched whenever he laughed at something Chan had said about their little trip in the Mediterranean and the coast of Spain. It fell on the way Changbin clapped his hands together when he was about to say something oh-so-groundbreaking, or funny, or shocking. It fell on the way he fiddled with his rings, with the medallion wrapped around his neck when he was listening, it fell on the way he scratched the back of his neck and smiled every time they shared a glance.

It fell on the curves of Changbin’s lips, the bridge of his nose, the small scars all around. The one slightly visible on his forehead, the one on his lower lip. The ocean eyes. So deep, so dark, Felix could see the abyss swirling inside his pupils, the stormy seas in his irises. And all of a sudden, the ocean eyes were staring back at him. Felix felt breathless. He felt warm. 

And Felix realized he was smiling, again. 

Like he had done back in Changbin’s room. Suddenly his blood seized. A bang of realization hit him with the power of thousand suns. 

Felix wasn’t smiling anymore, oh no. He tore his eyes away from Changbin, stared at the now empty plate right in front of him, felt his whole posture tense. Oh no. He was panicking. And he was panicking hard. No, he wasn’t panicking, this was different. But this wasn’t fun. 

Oh no. Oh no no no. 

This wasn’t good. Not at all. Not even in the slightest. No. No no no. 

“I. Uhh, I think I’m going to sleep. I’m tired. Sorry.” Felix quickly mouthed, quietly, not to interfere Jisung, the one currently talking. Chan nodded, whispered a quick good night to Felix, but Felix noticed how Jeongin shot him a questioning look, and Hyunjin repeated it. Felix didn’t say anything, and he didn’t dare to look at Changbin, so he simply hastily took his plate to the washing bucket and hurried out of the kitchen. 

Cold air of the night hit him in the face as he stepped outside, and he could breathe again. For a second Felix listened, if someone had left the table to come after him, but he didn’t hear any steps. Felix gave a quick wave of his hand at Lisa, who was on the helm, before skipping over the deck towards the forecastle. Except that he wasn’t going to the crew’s quarters, he was going to the deck above it. To sit. And think. And that’s what he did, and he was certain Lisa had looked after him a little funnily, probably wondering what he was up to. But Felix couldn’t really care. Not right now. 

Felix sat down, leaned against the mast behind his back. He could feel it shifting a bit, moving along with the waves, the winds and the ship. Everything around Felix was deep blue, the moon was up, lighting their way on the sea. Stars shone beautifully, occasionally reflecting against the water. Felix could hear the sails rustling, and someone under the deck snoring. It was peaceful. 

But Felix wasn’t peaceful. He was anything but peaceful. What the fuck. Why was he feeling so warm every time Changbin as much as glanced at him? Why were there butterflies in his stomach, trying to make their way out of Felix? Why was he feeling so damn kiddy every time he knew he was the reason for Changbin’s lips curving to a small smile. Why? Why why why? 

Fucking hell. Felix knew why. He had never felt like this, absolutely never, but he sure had read about it. He had heard about it, oh Felix, some day you will feel it too, and it will make your toes curl and butterflies fly and it will feel like a thunder inside your chest, it will turn the whole world around you pink and rosy and it will all feel so good and great and exciting, that’s what his mother had told him! 

Well, the world around Felix wasn’t pink. It was blue. And there wasn’t thunder in his chest, there was a ball of nausea and anxiety. And he wasn’t excited. He was terrified. 

And he had a horrible, terrible, dreadful crush on Changbin. 

Felix wanted to curl up in a ball and scream. Why? Why Changbin of all people? Why now, when Felix had lived his whole damn life without any problems with the matters of the heart? Why was the world so damn cruel to him? This was horrible, this wasn’t funny and kiddy and exciting! His crush was doomed, right from the beginning! Absolutely doomed! Changbin would never, never ever like him back, and they would never work out, that was a fact. Changbin was the son of the captain, and he was busy, and he had responsibilities, and Felix was just a deckboy, and the captain hated Felix to his very core. 

What the fuck? What the fuck? Why was Felix crushing on Changbin? Why him? Why Felix? Why, why did this happen to him? Felix just sat there, knees pulled against his chest, staring at the nothingness in front of him. A crush. A fucking crush. Right now. Of all times. He couldn’t tell anyone. He couldn’t do anything. He wanted to yell, he wanted to escape, and at the same time he kind of wanted to just… be the reason for Changbin’s smile. What the hell was he going to do now?

For a second Felix sat there, thinking, wondering, wallowing in self-pity, trying to calm himself down. 

Nothing. He was going to do absolutely nothing about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> realizations, realizations, and perhaps not as good as our little felix would have hoped for! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)


	26. 26

Felix was absolutely fucked. Absolutely. Fucked. Now that he had realized some far too crucial things of himself, he simply couldn’t stop thinking about it. Or Changbin. Or anything that had even something remotely close association with the boy. God, he was so fucked. And he couldn’t even escape! Where would he have gone to? Jumped into the feisty waters underneath the decks? Sounded like a plan! 

Felix groaned as the soap he had been holding slipped from his hand and dropped on the deck. The wound on his side stung as he reached for the soap, for the eighth time this morning.   
“Are you sure you’re healed enough to do that?” Minho’s sweet voice reached Felix’s ears from two storage doors over to Felix’s left.   
“Yes.” No, he was not. But he had to get his mind off. He had to at least try, he had been tossing and turning for most of the last night, he had been daydreaming (or rather, daynightmaring) through the whole breakfast, Jeongin had had to snap his fingers three times in front of Felix’s face before he had got Felix’s attention. So, yeah, he needed something else to think about. 

“Are you and Jisung close?” Minho’s question caught Felix off guard. Finally. For a moment he pondered it;   
“Yes? No? I honestly don’t know… I thought we were, but I’m not so sure anymore.” And it made Felix a little sad. He knew he had to confront the boy or something, obviously there had formed some kind of iceberg between them that Felix wanted desperately to shatter.   
“I was just wondering how well you know him?”   
“Rather well, I’d say. We spend quite a lot time together.” Or spent. Or perhaps Felix was being a tad too dramatic, it had only been a few days that Jisung had been acting somewhat weird. And of course, the thing that had happened on the deck the day before… Felix knew Jisung had been jealous for quite some time now, but he had honestly thought him and Changbin had talked it out. And that everything was fine between Felix and Jisung. Apparently not. Though, when he really thought about it, Felix understood. 

“Hmm.” Minho hummed; he was clearly in deep thought. One of the rum barrels had accidentally broken last night, that’s why Felix and Minho had been ordered to scrub the storage deck floor once again. Luckily, there hadn’t been much rum left, but unfortunately with the swaying of the ship the liquid had spread on a quite wide area.   
“I’m just surprised he has been reaching out to me more than before. It’s quite nice.”   
“Oh? I’m glad to hear that.” Felix was nearly done with his corner. They had to get the rum cleaned properly from everywhere, otherwise it would start smelling. Corners were the worst.   
“It’s just a little odd, I don’t understand why he has been so keen on talking to me ever since I boarded the ship, and now even more than lately. And he speaks of me so… nicely.” Felix could hear a hint of confusion and wonder in Minho’s voice. He was also a bit surprised the boy was talking to him about this. 

“Maybe he finds you interesting and wants to get to know you properly? I got the impression that you really tickle his fancy from what he has said about you.” Felix remembered the time he had first boarded the ship, how everyone else had been very wary of Minho except for Jisung.   
“I do?”   
“Yeah.”   
“Oh. I haven’t had that effect on anyone, ever.” Felix didn’t doubt that, Minho didn’t seem like the friendliest person at first, and he was rather reserved. Thank god Felix knew different now. 

“How do you feel about him?” Felix asked.   
“I don’t know. It’s just… I haven’t had much friends in years. He seems like one. You do, too.” A smile spread on Felix’s features. He was so glad he had got the boy’s trust, and now Minho was calling him friend.   
“Jisung is a great kid, and he has a good heart.” Felix turned to Minho, who still had some parts to clean. Felix was pretty much done.   
“I know. I’m just afraid that people want to get to know me because of my… abilities. And not because of me.” Felix really admired how open Minho was. He didn’t mince words, just told everything straight. Felix wished he had that ability. He also admired how he and Minho hadn’t been on a friend-level for long, but the boy still chose to trust him, and tell him all this. But at the same time, it broke Felix’s heart a little. It was sad people in his past hadn’t appreciated Minho as a friend, but rather as a witch. 

“I don’t think Jisung is like that.”   
“He probably isn’t. I’ve just had some very bad experienced and it’s sort of… hard to trust people.” Felix nodded and looked at the witch with a sympathetic look on his face. Minho’s black hair fell over his eyes as he focused on cleaning the floorboards, he was also nearly done.   
“I mean, I don’t think he’s befriended Hyunjin or Jeongin because of who they are, but rather because he likes them as people. And he doesn’t even know about you being a witch, so, I think the interest is genuine.” Felix ran a hand through his hair, pushing the strands away from his face.   
“How do we know he doesn’t know?”   
“We don’t, but do you actually think Jisung could shut up about it, if he knew? He’d at least tell you he knew and ask questions.” 

Minho fell silent for a moment.   
“True.” Another moment: “Do you think he’s going to hate me if I tell him?”   
“Absolutely not. You were with us when he bought the charms from that witch in Tortuga. He doesn’t fear magic.”   
“You may be right.” Minho sighed, but the tension was gone from his shoulders. Felix stood up from the floor, and so did Minho, they were ready with the storage.   
“I can take them to the closet.” Minho mumbled, and Felix dropped his scrub, rag and soap in a bucket Minho was holding. 

“We were thinking of practicing swording this evening, will you join us?” Felix asked the boy with a little smile on his face.   
“Sure, why not. I’m not that good with swords, anyway.”   
“Then it will be perfect for you, too!” Felix wanted as many people there as possible, so he wouldn’t have to focus on Changbin in any way. Minho’s lips turned to a small smile as he nodded, before turning around and skipping over the deck towards the closet in the back corridor. Felix was about to ascend the stairs to gun deck, as he heard Minho calling from the other side. 

“Hey, Felix. Do you know what a crush feels like?” Felix nearly choked on air at the way-too-sudden question. The look on Minho’s face was genuine, the question wasn’t a joke, it wasn’t a hint.   
“It… uhhh… it feels like butterflies in your stomach and a thunder inside your chest and that the whole world around you is turning upside down and it’s pink and rosy and it feels funny and exciting. That’s what my mother has told me.”  
“Oh. So heart skipping beats is normal?”   
“Yea, I guess.”   
“Okay. Thanks, Felix.”   
“Anytime, Minho.” 

Felix turned around, his cheeks burning red. 

*** 

Felix hadn’t seen Changbin during the whole day, because he hadn’t wanted to, and he sort of hoped he wouldn’t have to see him today. He just couldn’t process it, he didn’t want to think, not to consider anything, he just wanted to get his mind off of him. Of his crush. God, how Felix suddenly hated the word, really hated it.   
“Are you alright?” Jeongin softly nudged Felix’s side. They were standing on the poop deck, waiting for the others to join them. Felix was leaning against the bannister, gazing out in the open. It was a rather beautiful evening with some clouds drifting over the sky peacefully, the wind was just enough to move Euryale over the waves on a convenient speed. The sun was warming Felix’s back, glittering against the ripples of the sea.   
“You’ve been unusually quiet today.” 

“What? No, I’m alright. A little tired, but I’m alright.” Felix knew Jeongin would most likely not believe that. He just wished the boy wouldn’t ask any further.   
“You look like something is bothering you.” Damn it, the boy had a sharp eye and a sharp mind.  
“Huh? Nothing’s bothering me.”   
“Is it Changbin? Has he done something to you? You have been avoiding him today.” Jeongin!  
“No, it’s not Changbin.” Felix huffed.   
“So something is bothering you.”  
“I didn’t say that!”   
“Yes, you did, something is bothering you but it’s not Changbin.” Oh, it definitely was Changbin, and Felix wasn’t that happy that Jeongin had noticed him dodging the boy the whole day. Felix thought he had been subtle, but apparently not. 

“What is it?” Felix couldn’t help it, but Jeongin’s questions made him a little annoyed, as much as he liked Jeongin, loved him as a friend, he was a bit nosy. Which wasn’t a bad thing, it had saved Felix many times from his own thoughts, and he really adored Jeongin for that, but right now just wasn’t the time. Felix just didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to think about it, he just wanted to sleep and perhaps sort his head out (but that required thinking so, not that much of a fun task) and get over this stupid crush thing that would lead to absolutely nothing. 

“Hey, teach!” Ah, Hyunjin to Felix’s rescue. The boy skipped up the stairs from quarter deck to poop deck. Seungmin followed him suit along with Jisung. Jisung had a barrel filled with swords with him. Felix turned from the bannister towards the boys, not answering Jeongin.   
“Did you get enough swords for everyone?” The half-mermaid called out to Jisung, voice filled with excitement. Jisung placed the barrel next to the handrail separating the poop deck from the quarter deck from below.   
“No, I got all of these for myself, I’m sure I’ll use all twelve of these tonight.” Felix grinned at the boy’s sarcastic remark.   
“Twelve?”  
“I just took the nearest barrel in the hull alright, at least we’ll have some options.” Jisung answered to Jeongin. Felix gave Jisung a small smile as he noticed the boy glancing at him, but Jisung avoided eye contact and turned almost immediately towards Hyunjin.   
“Ah, fair enough.” 

Soft steps on the quarter deck indicated of Minho’s coming. Soon his head popped up from the stairs.   
“Oh, you haven’t started yet, thank goodness.” He sounded pleased. Minho had found himself a bandana to keep the black locks away from his face. And then, from behind Minho, Changbin appeared to the deck. Felix’s smile faded immediately, and around a thousand butterflies took wing inside his guts.   
“Hey.” Changbin cracked a grin to Felix, and Felix couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t – he smiled back, giving the other boy a little nod of acknowledgement. 

“Liar.” Jeongin mumbled next to Felix. Felix, as unnoticeably as possible nudged Jeongin’s side;  
“Shut.”   
“What did you say?” Hyunjin turned to Felix.  
“Nothing! Everyone, pick a sword! I’m sure you’ll know which one will suit you best.” 

Felix chose himself a sword as well, even though he had said that he could teach without one. He just didn’t feel like it, and besides, his side didn’t hurt that badly. Jeongin and his magic was to be thanked. And it hadn’t even bled since last night anymore, so, he was already mostly fine! Mostly.   
“Are you sure about that?” Felix hadn’t noticed Changbin approaching him. The boy stood next to him and picked himself a sword from the barrel. Felix could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks.   
“Yea. I’m fine.”   
“You didn’t seem fine two nights ago.”   
“Honestly. It’s not bleeding anymore, and I won’t do much.”   
“Alright.” 

Felix tried the sword on his hand, swung it a couple of times around, it was just fine for him. Hyunjin and Jisung had already started, apparently, clashing their swords against the other’s and skipping over the deck. Seungmin was watching the two, a little unimpressed, and Minho was just measuring his sword. It looked a bit too short for him, but Felix figured he would make it work. Jeongin was standing next to Felix, and on his other side, Changbin. Felix’s palms were sweating. God, how he hated this! 

“Alright.” Felix called out in a slightly louder voice, trying to reach everyone’s ears. The boys gathered around him, all listening to Felix surprisingly well. Changbin and Jeongin joined their little line, leaving Felix alone in front of them.   
“Ummm.” Felix scratched the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed; “I don’t know where to start.” He honestly hadn’t thought about this, not at all.   
“You can start with what you started with me.” Changbin grinned.   
“Oh, so, just do stuff and I’ll interrupt you when it goes badly? Yeah, that would be good.” God, Felix, just shut up and think for a second! And still he smiled at the captain’s son, leaving the sun second in the brightness. Changbin giggled, Felix thought he was going to pass out. It hadn’t been like this yesterday, so why was he feeling everything so strongly now that he was… aware of his… crush? 

“Okay. Well,” Felix turned to rest of the boys; “the most crucial and basic thing to swordplay is footwork. Your steps need to be right, so you can attack and parry attacks better. Got it?” The boys nodded, somewhat a little confused. They had thought Felix would have taught them some very royal and difficult sets, huh? Well, they would have to swallow their disappointment for now.   
“Step on your toes.” Felix moved his weight from his heels to his toes. He watched as everyone did as they did, perhaps a little exaggerated, Hyunjin stumbled a little. 

“Or rather, move your weight from your heels to your toes.”   
“He didn’t explain this to me so clearly, he just yelled at me to get on my toes.” Changbin mumbled. Felix rolled his eyes.   
“Okay. What now?” Seungmin questioned.   
“This is how you’re going to do every single battle you will ever encounter from now on. Get used to it.”   
“Huh?” Jisung huffed.   
“Jisung, you don’t need to literally step only on your toes, just keep the weight off of your heel.”   
“Oh.” 

“And then, we battle. I’m sure you can do some basic moves, right?” Felix smiled at his friends.   
“Define basic.” Minho’s soft voice reached Felix’s ears. He seemed to be the steadiest one out of the bunch, apart from Changbin.   
“Like these.” Felix took a quick step towards Changbin, swung his sword left, right, left, and Changbin parried his every move with ease, as he stepped backwards with feathery feet. The boy looked a little surprised, but pleased. 

“Oh those, yea, we can do those.” Hyunjin nodded, the rest followed along.   
“Great, we’ll start with that, but first, you will need to walk with feathery steps!” Felix smiled, a bit of mischief tugging the corner of his mouth.   
“Feathery steps.” Seungmin repeated.   
“Indeed!” Felix exclaimed; “take pairs, start swinging, and do it with feathery steps all. The. Time. Move around, walk around the deck, but do it with light feet.” Felix swung his arm as a mark for the boys to begin. He was surprised to see that instead Seungmin, Hyunjin turned towards Jisung, who was about to turn towards Minho, but had to give in to Hyunjin. Felix supposed the siren didn’t accidentally want to hurt Seungmin. 

“What if we hurt each other?” Jeongin sounded a little worried.  
“Be careful, you don’t need to fight as if you were in a battle, you can do everything slower or for example, tell your partner which way you are swinging from, so they can parry your attacks.”   
“Alright!” The mermaid boy turned to the cook, who looked pleased to have Jeongin as his opponent. That left Minho and Changbin as the remaining pair. What an odd match. 

Jisung and Hyunjin took the right corner, Seungmin and Jeongin the left, and Changbin and Minho decided to take the place in front of the railing. Felix purposely avoided the latter two, and decided to move to Jisung and Hyunjin’s corner to see, what the boys were up to.   
“Feathers!” Felix reminded them, as both of the boys just stomped across the deck with all heels. The sun was slowly setting, currently in such angle that it kept blinding the three of them a little. 

“Coming from your left!” Hyunjin voiced his plan to Jisung as he stepped forwards and Jisung stepped backwards. With feathery steps. Good! Clank, clank, clank, the swords clashed against each other.   
“You’re doing well, keep it up!” Felix smiled at the boys before turning to Seungmin and Jeongin. They were going a little slower, but with much more precision and caution. Felix had initially expected that Seungmin wasn’t much of a swordsman, but to his surprise, he had the most distinct technique out of all of them, apart from Changbin, naturally. He struck fast, with precise slashes, and then danced away from the opponent’s reach. How fascinating! 

Felix followed silently Jeongin and Seungmin, they didn’t need much help, both of them remembered to keep their steps light and small. They had clearly understood how the steps worked, how they would serve them in case of a battle. Felix felt some sort of pride in himself, he hoped he would be able to teach the boys a lot more in the future, and they would become the most fearsome crew of the Caribbean sea, the crew that could actually fight and not rely on surprise, like most of them did. Like they had done on El Salvador. 

Every now and then some curious heads popped up the stairs to see what was going on the upper quarter deck, some crewmembers were playing that same damned card game on the main deck and glanced at them every now and then, a little interested. Sangyeon was on the helm, not minding the boys swording behind his back. Chan had mentioned earlier that he had told the captain of their plans, and the captain had, surprisingly, said that he was fine with them stomping above his head as long as they did it before nighttime. The hull would have been awfully stuffy, so Felix gladly did his little teaching session out in the open, rather than in the storages like him and Changbin had. And there wouldn’t have been enough space for them. 

Felix didn’t comment Seungmin and Jeongin’s steps, just gave them a smile and a thumbs up. Then he moved to Minho and Changbin, which he would have rather not done, but he had to, he had to look like everything was completely fine and he totally did not have a huge crush on the captain’s son. Felix was surprised to find the boys not battling, but standing side by side, as Changbin taught Minho how the impact of the attack differed with the angle of the wrist. Felix walked up to them, other eyebrow a little arched. 

“I suppose you both can walk with feathery steps?”   
“You have taught me before and Minho is always sneaking around quietly, anyway, so I think we can handle it.” Minho nodded at Changbin’s words.   
“I was teaching some hand technique to Minho, he’s not much of a swordfighter.” Minho nodded again. He looked a little wary, clearly not used to talking to Changbin that much. Felix gave him a reassuring nod;  
“That’s great! Hand technique is nearly as important as foot technique, only hands can’t carry you away from danger as well as your feet can.” Changbin hummed in agreement. 

He continued to explain Minho how the angle mattered, as Felix glanced at the two remaining pairs.   
“Jisung! Feathers!” He called out. Hyunjin was slowly getting hang of the technique. Seungmin and Jeongin were doing fine, exchanging little words of encouragement to each other every now and then. 

“And then, when you do this, you can swing it faster, but if you do this… this happens.” And before Felix could properly register, Changbin was swinging his blade dangerously close to Felix and Felix had to draw his sword quickly, take a few hurried steps backwards before he got the handle of the situation, and turned it around, by parrying Changbin’s attacks. One, two, three, a pirouette, Felix dove forwards and finally ended Changbin’s attack with his blade pointed at Changbin’s throat. 

“See, this is what happens, when your angle is wrong.” Changbin told to Minho. Felix remained quiet, his side was stinging a bit, and he knew he shouldn’t have been doing those dives and pirouettes, but here he was.   
“But if the angle is correct, you’ll get ahead, and your moves will be faster.” Changbin quickly drew his sword again and blocked the blade from his throat, catching Felix off guard. Again, Felix had to take a few hasty steps back, block, block, that one got a little too close for Felix’s liking, Changbin was quicker this time and approached fast, Felix’s back hit the bannister next to the stairs and before he knew it, their handles clashed together, screeching, and Changbin was staring into Felix’s eyes only a few inches away. The ocean eyes, so deep, so intense. So damn beautiful. Felix felt breathless.

“And you’re dead.” Changbin whispered to Felix, a grin playing on his lips.   
“See, Minho, this is what happens when the angle is right, you will win Felix on a battle.” Changbin let go of Felix’s sword and turned to face the other boy behind him, who was watching the scene unfold with a quirked eyebrow. The remaining two pairs were also staring at them, and Felix could feel the heat rushing to his face. He knew Jeongin was smirking at him, he just knew, and he refused to look at the mermaid boy. Or really, anyone. 

“You just had me by surprise.” Felix mumbled, and Changbin laughed at him.   
“Kidding, I don’t think anyone on this ship is skilled enough for that. Except for Bambam.” Changbin nudged Felix’s healthy side, gently, and Felix just had to turn away to hide the blush on his cheeks. He was winded, his hands were sweating, his heart was thrumming.  
“Okay, yeah, anyway, is everyone getting the hang of the feathers?” Felix shook his shoulders, tried to get away the feeling that Changbin was staring right at him. 

The boys nodded nearly in unison.   
“Then we’ll move ahead. I’ll teach you some steps I’ve already taught Changbin. Changbin, if you’d be so kind.” Felix, with his free hand pointed at the space in front of the boys, who had again gathered at the middle of the deck.   
“Oh, I’m always so kind.” Felix rolled his eyes at Changbin’s snarky remark, but positioned himself opposite to the captain’s son. His cheeks were still flaming, and he prayed it wasn’t visible and that the setting sun hid most of the redness by drawing the sky orange. 

Felix started circling Changbin, Changbin did the same. He changed the sword in his hand to other hand, and then back to distract Felix. God, it wasn’t the hands that were distracting Felix, it was the whole boy! Felix turned in his steps before he gave just a slight nod to right, giving Changbin the time to prepare, and then – one, two, three, the swords clanked against each other, Felix dove from underneath Changbin’s arm, but Changbin had learned something and parried Felix’s attack with ease. Then Changbin took ahold of the situation and started approaching Felix, to which Felix answered by circling further from the boy. This was not going as he planned, he didn’t know if the other boy was playing with him, or he didn’t want to shatter his pride with Felix winning over him again. 

Felix saw the little mischievous glint in Changbin’s eyes. This fucker was definitely playing with him. This time Felix didn’t give a warning, and despite his stinging side, he made the moves sharper, faster, more vigorous. And that seemed to finally kill the little mischievous glint in Changbin’s eyes, as Felix dove, kicked Changbin’s blade away and then proceeded, with a pirouette to Changbin’s backside, where he kicked the boy off of his feet as gently as he probably could. He could hear Jisung gasping, as Changbin’s knees hit the deck. Felix placed his blade on Changbin’s throat, just gently grazing the skin. It wasn’t sharp, it wasn’t going to hurt him. 

“I’m going to teach you how to do the dive, and how to parry those moves. Not how to kick anyone off their feet.” Felix gave the boys a little smile as he lifted the sword away from Changbin, before offering him his free hand and helping him up. He could feel Changbin’s gaze on him, he could sense it measuring him up and down.   
“Sorry about your knees.” Felix mumbled at the boy, not looking at him. Changbin’s hand was still lingering close to his, just barely brushing against his knuckles. Too close, far too close. 

“Alright, step by step, Changbin, try only to block the attack.” Felix instructed as he faced the boy again. Now he did it slowly, explained to everyone around him how to control the set, how the different steps worked and what was the impact on the opponent. Then he gave instructions on how to parry the attack by making Changbin attack him in turn. Then, he divided the boys to pairs again, and let them try the moves on their own. 

“Hyunjin, take smaller steps and remember the feathers!”   
“Jisung, if you feel that your hand is too weak, try completely backing away from the attack instead of blocking it with your weak hand.”   
“Aye, teach.” Jisung gave Felix a small smile and a nod. Felix felt a sense of comfort, like a tiny bit of weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Him and Jisung were fine, but they weren’t completely fine. 

“Seungmin, otherwise good, make sure you swing in a large motion instead of a small.”   
“Hyunjin! The feathers! Jisung, too!”  
“Great work Minho! Changbin, you seriously need to get that footwork right.” Changbin looked at Felix like he was ready to kill a man, Felix gave him a quick grin, before turning away blushing. Minho didn’t need much guiding, Changbin helped him quite a lot. It was nice, the captain’s son hadn’t really seemed to be that big on helping anyone, especially those he barely knew, but he and Minho worked really well together. Perhaps Changbin didn’t have a choice, after all, he and Jisung still didn’t speak to each other, they barely even noticed each other’s presences. 

The sun casted its last rays above the waterline until it sank down, coloring the sky a beautiful shade of violet, pink, and orange. The boys looked tired, their moves had slowed down quite a lot, Jisung was complaining that his feet were aching, so Felix knew he was doing something right. That’s how it had been when he had first started his training at the tender age of nine. 

“How’s it going here?” Chan’s head popped from up from the stairs. He looked windswept.   
“Great! They’re learning!” Felix beamed at the quartermaster. Chan smiled, looked around.   
“I’ve never seen them so tired out, you have outdone yourself.” Felix giggled, he took that as a compliment. He listened to the boys grunting, breathing heavily, cursing every now and then, before he turned back to them.   
“Okay, everyone, I think that’s enough for today! We’ll continue… tomorrow? I guess?”   
“Oh, thank heavens.” Hyunjin gasped out and dramatically dropped on the floor, throwing his sword away from him. Felix dropped his own blade in the barrel Jisung had brought with him.   
“Did you really do this every day?” Seungmin dropped his sword in as well.   
“Five days a week for nine years, so, pretty much yeah.” Felix grinned. Oh, the memories.   
“That’s rough.” Jisung voiced out. 

The boys gathered their swords into the barrel, before descending the stairs to quarter deck, and then to main deck. Changbin brushed a bit too close to Felix as he walked by his side, but then he slung his arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders, who answered to it by complaining loudly. Felix was about to take the barrel to the hull but just as he grabbed it, he heard Jeongin call out to him;   
“Felix, with all respect, what in the seven seas was that?” Fuck. 

Felix turned around. There was only him and Jeongin left on the poop deck, everyone else was already on the main deck and by the looks of it, they were heading to the kitchen to get some water.   
“Um. Which part?” Felix tried to hide away from Jeongin’s all-too-knowing gaze. He let go of the barrel.   
“Everything? We can start with your little fascination towards the captain’s son.” Felix quickly shushed Jeongin and glanced around if there were any curious ears too close. There weren’t, luckily. 

“How obvious?” Felix swallowed.   
“To me, very, but to the rest not so much.” Felix sighed, shoulders untensing. He had thought he had been completely see-through, but that wasn’t the case, apparently.   
“The sunshine hid your blush pretty well, and everyone was more curious of how Changbin was acting than how you were acting, so I don’t think anyone noticed anything out of ordinary.”   
“Thank heavens.” 

Felix leaned against the bannister, he was looking at the way the sun was setting.   
“And I’m quite sure Jisung was just focusing on Minho most of the time, and Hyunjin was all over Seungmin, as Seungmin was all over Hyunjin.” Oh. Well, at least they had somewhat listened to Felix and learned something. Jeongin leaned against the bannister as well, next to Felix. 

“Wait, what do you mean by Changbin’s acting? Was he acting somehow oddly?” Felix got a little curious.   
“I don’t know about odd, I’ve just never seen him like that. Or well, haven’t seen in ages. He was quite… how would you say… lively. He was more present than he’s been in the past year.”   
“Uhhuh.” Felix didn’t quite understand how Changbin was more ‘present’. To him, he had been nothing out of ordinary. Except for that part where he had won Felix. That was weird. And it also made Felix’s stomach twist and turn and his cheeks flush and toes tingle. Horrible. Horrible! 

Felix sighed, hid his face in his hands and rubbed his temples.   
“I don’t know what to do.”   
“So you have a crush on him?”   
“I? Yes? I don’t know, I’ve never had a crush on anyone, I don’t know if this is it!” Felix wailed. He wanted to hide from the world; “What does a crush feel like?”   
“I don’t know, I’ve never had a crush on anyone either, doubt I ever will.” Felix huffed at Jeongin’s answer. 

“This is horrible.”   
“It is?”   
“Yes! I shouldn’t be fancying the captain’s son!”   
“You shouldn’t?”   
“No! That’s just not right! And he’s never going to like me back!”   
“He isn’t?”   
“Jeongin, seriously, I have absolute zero chances! I’m literally everything he despises!”   
“Are you?” Felix turned to Jeongin, perhaps a little annoyed. Jeongin was staring at him, those purple eyes of his a comforting shade, reminding Felix of amethysts. 

“I’m a landlubber. And his father hates me. My father killed his uncle.” Felix ran his hands through his hair, pushing them away from his face. He felt uncomfortable, he didn’t want to talk about this, but at the same time he knew he had to.   
“I don’t think you’re a landlubber anymore, Felix. Look at yourself, you have come so far, you know how to operate a ship and how these things work. You’re a sailor now.” Felix tried to search for a hint of lie in Jeongin’s eyes, but he couldn’t find it. 

“His father hates you, but Changbin is not his father. In fact, it is quite low of you to think of him as anything alike to his father, when he is not, and if you know him at all, you also know that.” Jeongin’s words made Felix feel a little guilty. He was correct, it was low of him to think that Changbin was like his father in any way, when he was not, and he had proved that to Felix countless of times.   
“And your father killed his uncle, yes, but Changbin has never been close to any other of his relatives except for his father. And you’re not your father, as you have said yourself, your father’s actions do not define you, Felix, as they do not define Changbin.” Felix nodded, he didn’t know what to say. Jeongin was right, of course he was. He was always right. 

They stayed silent for a while, just enjoying the sunset. Though, it was far from enjoyment, Felix couldn’t stop thinking, he couldn’t relax.   
“He’s never going to like me back.” He mumbled, a little defeated.   
“You don’t know that.”   
“And you do?”   
“I don’t. Love works in peculiar ways. But I doubt your chances are as low as you think they are.” No, please, don’t give false hope when there’s none. 

Felix swallowed, if he was being honest, he wanted to cry. And throw himself overboard. And do anything to keep Changbin away from his mind.   
“Why now, of all times.” Felix whined, more to himself than to Jeongin. He rubbed his temples and sighed.   
“Love has no time and place; it comes when it is meant to.”   
“It’s not love! It’s just a stupid crush! It will pass.” Won’t it? The word love made Felix scared. He wasn’t ready for that kind of thing. Love was so… big. So restricting. It tied a person to another person. It took away their freedom. Or that’s how Felix had always imagined it. It was beautiful, sure, but restrictive.   
“If you say so.” The crush was going to pass. It had to. Felix was going to do absolutely nothing about it. Unless… No. Not possible. Changbin didn’t like him, he was just an annoying landlubber to him. That’s it. That’s all. That’s how the things were. 

Felix whined and turned to Jeongin, pressed his face against the mermaid boy’s shoulder. Jeongin wrapped his arms around Felix to a comforting hug.   
“I hate this.”   
“I know.” 

After a while, Jeongin let go of Felix and Felix turned to pick up the barrel again.   
“I think we should go.”   
“Yeah. Felix?”   
“Hm?”   
“Don’t worry about it too much. Just go with the flow.” Felix nodded. Jeongin was golden. His advice was always spot on, it gave Felix the answers or encouragement he needed. A gift, that’s what the boy was. 

They descended the stairs all the way to main deck, and then to the hull. Felix placed the barrel where he thought Jisung had taken it from. The swords could use some sharpening, but for now, they were just fine for their little training thing.   
“Water?” Jeongin suggested, Felix nodded. He was thirsty, he realized that now. The scorching sun had clearly done its job again. 

Felix and Jeongin hopped up the stairs back to the main deck. Changbin was talking with Chan close to the forecastle, Minho and Jisung were sitting on the bannister, enjoying the beautifully colored sky, or so it seemed to Felix. Jeongin opened the door to the kitchen, Felix went down the stairs after him, when Jeongin suddenly halted and Felix bumped into his back, and not so slowly. 

And there was Seungmin sitting on the kitchen table, legs wrapped around Hyunjin, who had his arms around Seungmin. Kissing. It took them approximately three seconds to notice Felix and Jeongin standing at the doorway, just staring at the two. Seungmin was the first one to notice, he quickly hissed and drew away from Hyunjin, pushing the other off of him. Hyunjin noticed a tad too late, and as he turned to Felix and Jeongin, he flushed the deepest shade of red Felix had ever seen his life. For a moment, the four just stared at each other. 

Jeongin finally opened his mouth and broke the moment;  
“Um. Uhh. Felix, I just remembered that I have ointment for your wounds. Yes. That’s what I have. Sorry for interrupting.” He chimed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> felix, dear, your clown shoes are squeaking. 
> 
> anyways, some long-awaited sword lessons! and seungjin, oh, seungjin, finally! when i said this fic was going to be a slow burn, i really did mean all of the relationships in this fic. i hope y'all liked this chapter as much as i did writing it. also, thank you so incredibly much for the love this fic has got so far, i am honestly overwhelmed by the amount of comments and hits and kudos and all that (and i'm sorry that sometimes i don't know how to answer other thank thank you because i'm overwhelmed), thank you thank you thank you!! i love y'all, mwah!! 
> 
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	27. 27

Felix had got some of Jeongin’s magnificent concoctions to his wounds, and he could already notice the stinging easing a little, and it had only been one night. He had fallen asleep the second his head hit his pillow (his own pillow, not Changbin’s), and delightfully, he had slept peacefully without any disturbing dreams. And in the morning, he had woken up engulfed in Changbin’s scent coming from his shirt, and that had been either horrible or just wonderful, Felix couldn’t really decide. 

Felix hadn’t seen Seungmin or Hyunjin during the whole evening. After he and Jeongin had barged out of the kitchen and bursted out laughing on the main deck, they had had to try to explain to half of the crew what was so funny, which wasn’t so easy considering that they didn’t want to rat out the little love birds to the whole crew. But Felix had seen Minho’s eyes, Minho knew, and he had seen Changbin’s, too, and he probably could guess what Felix and Jeongin had seen. 

“Morning, sailor.” Oh? Felix opened his eyes and stretched. Hyunjin was sitting on Jisung’s bed, the other pirate nowhere to be seen. Felix winced a little, his side did still hurt when he moved too much. He rose up to a sitting position, tried to smooth his all-too-wild hair a little.   
“Morning.” Felix croaked. Hyunjin looked serious. He wasn’t smiling, like he usually was, and he sure as hell wasn’t usually sitting on Jisung’s bed. Felix looked around, he only saw a few sleeping figures in the far corner, everyone else was presumably at breakfast. 

“What time is it? Did I sleep in again?” Felix mumbled, rubbed his eyes a little.   
“Nah, breakfast’s currently being served.”   
“Oh, good.” Felix looked at Hyunjin again. There was a little crease in between his eyebrows. Was he worried about something?   
“Are you alright?” Felix asked.  
“Depends.” Okay, this wasn’t like Hyunjin at all.   
“What is it?” 

Hyunjin fiddled with the hem of his shirt, quickly glanced at the sleeping figures. Felix knew they were sleeping; he could hear Mark’s snore all the way from the other side of the forecastle to his own bed.   
“Did you tell anyone?” Hyunjin nearly whispered.   
“Huh?”  
“About yesterday. Did you tell anyone?” Oh.   
“We didn’t.” Hyunjin didn’t look convinced.   
“I swear! We didn’t, we just told the ones who asked what we were laughing at that you had spilled soup on your shirt, and it looked funny!” Felix swore with his hand on his heart.   
“You told them I had spilled soup on my shirt?”   
“Yes! I couldn’t come up with a better lie in such a short time!” 

Hyunjin snorted. Then the familiar smile tugged the corners of his mouth.   
“Okay. That’s good. Seungmin was just really worried.”   
“We won’t tell anyone, that is up to you two.” Felix gave him a small smile. Hyunjin nodded.   
“So, I take that as you two have finally talked all the things through.” Felix’s smile turned to a little grin. Hyunjin’s cheeks turned to a few shades redder.   
“Yeah. We have… talked.” And a little more red. Felix giggled.   
“Good for you, I guess.” For a moment Felix and Hyunjin shared an all-too-knowing eye contact, before both of them bursted into a fit of giggles. 

“I’m just so happy!” Hyunjin finally exclaimed, immediately covering his mouth, afraid that he had woken the others up. He hadn’t, they just kept snoring.   
“And I’m happy for you two!” And Felix was, he felt all warm and bubbly, he was genuinely happy for his friends. He knew how long Hyunjin had liked Seungmin, how long the two had just been tiptoeing around each other (or that’s what Hyunjin had told him, and Felix had to trust him on that since he hadn’t been on the ship as long as the two had liked each other). But at the same time, he couldn’t help the ugly stir in his gut, and he knew very well what it was. Jealousy. Jealousy was such an ugly feeling, and Felix hated it. He hated that he felt like Hyunjin and Seungmin’s happiness was somehow taken away from his own happiness, even if he damn well knew that that wasn’t the case. He just couldn’t help it. He and Changbin would never be like that. Never. 

Hyunjin tried his best to calm himself, all giggly and squealy. When he finally did, he turned to Felix, trying to remain serious;  
“Okay, but please don’t say a word about this… thing to anyone. We don’t want the others to know yet. Or Seungmin doesn’t, and I respect that. He’s just a little cautious and this is all so new to him. For me, too. For both of us.” Felix nodded at the half-siren;  
“You can count on me, I’m not going to say a word.”   
“Not even a joke. Not if there’s anyone else but us two around.”   
“Not even a joke. Though, make sure that you’re ready to tell everyone when you tell it to Jisung.” Hyunjin snorted and threw Jisung’s pillow at him;  
“That is so rude!”   
“I know, I’m not serious.” Felix threw the pillow back, which Hyunjin placed it at its own place. 

“You should probably talk to him, you know.”   
“I know. I just don’t know where to start. I don’t want to feel sorry for… being friends with Changbin.”   
“You don’t have to. Just… I don’t know… I honestly don’t get what his problem is besides jealousy… But maybe talking to him will help, because he isn’t the type of person to approach you at first when he has to face any sort of confrontation. Unless he’s really annoyed.” Felix nodded. He’d have to talk to him. He really adored the boy as his friend. 

“So, how’s Changbin?” Felix’s stomach dropped.   
“H-how would I know? You have to ask him.”   
“Come on. Everyone saw you two yesterday.”   
“Saw what?”   
“Everything.” Hyunjin laughed. Felix bit his lower lip. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like the idea that he was so see-through. What if Changbin would notice it, too? Felix didn’t even want to think about it. Hyunjin noticed the shift in Felix’s mood immediately, his face dropping a little.   
“Not that good?”   
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Felix tugged the hem of his shirt. The hem of Changbin’s shirt. It was a bit too big, slipping off from his shoulder. Felix pulled it back up. 

Hyunjin looked at him with a bit of sympathy in his eyes.   
“Look, I honestly haven’t seen him ever being like that around anyone, so don’t worry about it too much. I worried too much and it slowed mine and Seungmin’s… relationship quite a lot.” Felix felt the blush dusting over his cheeks.   
“Being like what?” Hyunjin’s fond expression turned to a small smirk. He rose up from Jisung’s bed, stretched a little; 

“Oh, good heavens, look at the time! We have to hurry to the breakfast!”   
“Hyunjin! Being like what?” Felix tried to stand up but stumbled on his blanket. Hyunjin giggled and ran to the door of the forecastle.   
“C’mon, mate, I’m hungry, and Jeongin is waiting for us!”   
“Hyunjin!” Felix yelled after him. 

Oh my god. Felix didn’t want any false hope. 

*** 

“Jisung, feathers!”   
“Great work, Minho, just raise your arm a little more.”   
“Hyunjin, feathers! Jeongin, lower your sword a bit.”   
“No. Yes. No, not that way.”   
“Changbin, you should know all this already.”  
“But I want you to show me!” Changbin whined, pouting a little. Cute, Felix found himself thinking. He sighed, rolled his eyes a little too theatrically.   
“Fine.” 

Felix took his sword and with a few circling steps, approached Changbin. He tried to ignore the tug in his heartstrings, that little breathless feeling in his chest, his head spinning. One, two, three, Felix slid his blade against Changbin’s, their handles clanking as he quickly turned his back against Changbin’s, swung his sword to the other side, blocking Changbin’s sword, and then to the other side, and again, before diving from underneath his arm and danced away from the boy’s reach. Changbin had a small smirk tugging his lips, Felix didn’t like that. He didn’t. It made his gut stir uncomfortably. 

“Me too, me too!” Hyunjin sing-sang, and Felix made the same steps with him, only voicing out what he was going to do and when. Hyunjin was quick to learn the steps, probably faster than the others. Sangyeon had also decided to join their little training session today, but as he had told Felix, he already knew some of the basic steps, he just wanted to polish them a bit. Felix would have wished for Chan to join them as well, since now there was an odd number of people to teach and Felix had to pair himself up now as well. And of course, Changbin had wanted to pair up with him, since he was already ahead the others when it came to swording and Felix was the best one to fight with. Apparently. And on top of that, Felix had to focus on both, Changbin and teaching the others and it wasn’t easy, oh, it wasn’t easy at all. 

Minho and Jisung had paired up, and surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, Minho was constantly taking the upper hand. However, it was endearing to see him tell Jisung encouraging words every time he struck the sword away from Jisung’s hand, and Jisung getting a bit blushy every time. But Jisung was getting better, too, he was sharp and quick, and he didn’t stick to step routines too much. Unlike Seungmin, who, even though his tactics were also sharp and quick, stayed in the same familiar patterns. That wasn’t such a good thing, especially now that he was paired up with Sangyeon, who had a quite similar style. 

But they had only been training for two days, so Felix didn’t push it. He wanted the boys to get comfortable, to learn the steps before he would tell them to start using their instincts and intuition in swordfighting. Hyunjin was giving Felix a little too knowing glances and Felix was getting annoyed, so he did a little sidestep and surprised the boy by striking the sword off of his hand.   
“Shut up.” He quickly mumbled, before turning to the rest.   
“Jisung! On your toes!” He yelled, earning a groan from the boy. 

The day was cloudy, a little windy. Felix had earlier asked from Jeongin, a little fearfully, if they were up for a storm, but the boy had declined. Just a windy, cloudy day. A nice change to the usual sunshine, it made the training a lot more pleasant, sweat didn’t stick to Felix’s skin nor did his hair to his forehead. Once again Changbin started circling him, Felix blocked his way and swung his blade fast towards the boy. Changbin was already familiar with the move, so he ducked and dove in for Felix’s legs. Felix had to quickly draw away, before he could attack again. He couldn’t focus properly, he really couldn’t. He kept on shifting between Changbin’s eyes, the people around him, then looking at everywhere but the boy in front of him, and then he was fixated on his eyes again, traveling down to his nose, the scar on his lip, then he wondered how that scar would feel- 

No. No. It wouldn’t feel like anything.   
“Are you alright?” Changbin mumbled. He looked a little concerned, stopping his attack half-way through.   
“H-How so?” Felix turned his attention to his sword; he didn’t want to look at the boy. His thoughts were a mess.   
“You seem distracted. Out of focus.”   
“Oh. Sorry.” Changbin lowered his sword and walked up to Felix, right next to him. Too close. Way too close. Felix took a small step back.   
“You know, you can tell me if something’s bothering you.”   
“Nothing is bothering me.” Felix was quite a liar these days, wasn’t he? 

Changbin didn’t look like he believed Felix. He pouted again, then glanced around him.   
“Are you tired? Is your side still hurting?”   
“A little bit of both.” Another lie. He didn’t like this. He didn’t want to lie to Changbin, but he couldn’t exactly tell the other what he was feeling.   
“We can stop for today if you want to.” Changbin’s concern made Felix’s heart hurt.   
“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Felix tried desperately to not look at Changbin, but he made it a little hard, and eventually Felix’s eyes found his.   
“I’m serious. The wound needs to properly heal.”   
“It’s fine, Changbin. It doesn’t hurt that badly.”  
“Felix.”   
“I’ll try to focus better. Sorry.” Felix turned his back to Changbin. His heart was pounding, he was quite sure it would soon explode through his chest. 

“Jeongin, if you take shorter steps, your balance will be better.” Felix told Jeongin, who was on the other side of the deck with Hyunjin. Then he turned back to Changbin. And really desperately tried to forget everything that had happened during the past days, really tried to see the boy as nothing but another opponent on his way. Needless to say, he failed, but he managed to stop himself from getting too distracted. 

After an hour, maybe two, Chan hopped up the stairs to the deck.   
“Felix!” He called out, and Felix turned to the quartermaster, stopping his attack halfway through.   
“How’s it going here?” He leaned against the railing of the upper quarter deck.   
“Good. It’s only been two days and they’re already getting better!” Felix cracked a smile at Chan.   
“Great. I just wanted to come to say that don’t tire yourself out too much today. We’ll need you during the night.”   
“Oh? What for?”   
“Johnny has the helm for the night, but he’s shit at navigating from the stars. I want you in there to navigate with him, to make sure he stays on the track. And that’s also a little test for you, if we’re on the course in the morning we know you can be trusted as a charter.”   
“Oh! That’s great!” The smile on Felix’s face widened. The excitement surged through him. A charter! That would be fantastic!   
“So, take a nap at some point when you have time. I’ll see you on the helm when the sun sets.”   
“Okay. Great. See you there!” 

Chan smiled at Felix before turning to the sword barrel they had again brought with them and picked up a sword.   
“So. What are we learning today, teacher?” 

*** 

A light zephyr trifled with Felix’s hair, he kept trying to push the locks back to their respectful places, but failed each time. The sun had set, painting the sky deep blue. Luckily the heavens had cleared out from clouds, and Felix could see the stars and the moon perfectly fine. He and Johnny were wrapped in the velvety darkness of the night, waves rippling against the hull of Euryale, the laughter and yells coming from the crew’s quarters breaking the silence every now and then. Felix was sitting on the navigation table close to the helm, gazing at the stars above him. On his lap he had a map that showed the way they were going. Felix recognized the stars, he recognized the patterns, Cassiopeia smiled down at him from the heavens above. 

Felix breathed in, he breathed out. For the first time today, he felt at peace. He didn’t have to rush, he didn’t have to stress, he knew this, it was easy for him to find which stars to navigate from, which ones to reach for. Chan had told him everything he needed to know (and already knew), so he wasn’t nervous about the night. Johnny was quietly steering the wheel, deep in his own thoughts. It was peaceful, not awkward at all. Felix didn’t need him talking constantly, his and the man’s… friendship was at such a level that the quiet didn’t feel awkward. They didn’t know each other that well, but they were past the awkward, forced small talk. Felix liked this. He could breathe. 

And then he couldn’t. The door beneath his feet clanked, and a familiar figure emerged from below the quarter deck.   
“Hey Johnny, we got our meeting done, you can go to sleep. I’ll take the helm for tonight.”  
“But Chan ordered me to-“ Johnny looked confused.   
“I know. And now he ordered that I’ll take it. Come on, he said you have the night lookout for tomorrow, go to sleep.”   
“Oh. Okay.” 

Felix closed his eyes and took a sharp breath in as Changbin walked up the stairs to the quarter deck. Felix didn’t look at him. He didn’t want to look at him. Now his peaceful night stargazing was gone.   
“Good night, Felix.” He heard Johnny say, so Felix opened his eyes and flashed a small smile at the man.   
“Night, Johnny, sleep well!” 

“How come you never tell me to sleep well?” There was a teasing tone in Changbin’s speech. Felix was still sitting on the navigation table, and he didn’t plan on moving anywhere.   
“I do tell you to sleep well.” Felix argued, finally looking at the captain’s son. He had his hands on the wheel, and his shirt wasn’t buttoned entirely up, and Felix could see all too much of his tanned skin in the moonlight and he quickly looked away, with a blush dusting over his cheeks. God! Why was he acting like this? 

“Well, I have never heard you say that to me.”   
“Perhaps I tell it to you in my mind.”  
“Aw, you think of me before going to sleep? How adorable, Felix.” Felix was so lucky they were sailing in the blue darkness and Changbin couldn’t see his face.   
“Of course, I always think of my worst enemies before going to sleep.” Felix’s own voice betrayed him, and he didn’t sound as confident as he had intended to. How pathetic! Felix, get it together! 

“What do you even need me for if you’re in the helm for tonight, anyway? Don’t you know your stars perfectly fine?” Felix turned finally to face Changbin. He sat cross-legged on the table and played with the compass in the middle, folding the map that had rested on his lap.   
“Suddenly I can’t see.” Changbin smirked at him. Smirked! What was his problem and why were there so goddamn many butterflies in Felix’s guts! Why was Changbin acting this way? Wait, had he always been acting this way or was it just now? Did Felix realize it only now? 

Felix snorted:  
“Alright.”  
“And I can monitor your success as a charter just as fine as Chan, and if you navigate wrong, we won’t be off course so much unlike if Johnny would be on the helm the whole night and you would guide him wrong.”  
“Okay. Reasonable.” Felix answered, defeated.   
“So, tell me, charter, which way should we be sailing?” 

Felix turned to look at the stars again, stuck his hand upwards, measured the space between a few stars with his fingers:  
“Keep the Polaris to your left, sail towards the lowest star of Cassiopeia, and then we should be on the right track towards St. Thomas. Right now, you should turn just an inch starboard.”   
“Aye aye, captain. You’re not new to this.”   
“I am, I have never once in my life navigated on a moving ship. Only from the shore.”   
“How do you know so much then?” Felix swallowed, thinking about it stung a little, still.   
“My mother taught me.”   
“Ah. Where did she learn that?”  
“My grandfather was a sailor, so he taught my mother. I never met him. He died at the seas before I was even born.” Felix still missed his mother. He just wished that he could hug her one final time and tell her that he was okay, and then he would be off to the boundless sea with his friends. That’s all he wished. But it was highly unlikely he would ever get that one last hug.   
“I see. The skills run in your blood, then.” He could hear Changbin smiling. Felix snorted again.   
“I guess they do.” 

For a moment Felix wondered what Changbin’s family tree was like. He could remember the other boy telling him that he had lost his mother years ago, and obviously his uncles were pirates. Well, one was a pirate, the other one had been a pirate. But what about his grandparents? Did he have any cousins? Perhaps Felix would ask him one day. 

“How did the meeting go?” He asked instead.   
“Fine. Just me, captain, Chan, Sangyeon and Lisa. We talked about how to proceed after we leave St. Thomas. And some emerged rumors that those who went on shore in Tortuga had heard.”   
“Oh? Well, do tell. And please shift the ship a little to the port side.” Felix noticed the little smile playing on Changbin’s lips in the moonlight. 

“There’s a new French ship hunting after pirates, or anyone who’s sailing without a flag. We heard it’s a huge warship, never been seen before.” Something twisted in Felix’s gut. A spark of fear?   
“That doesn’t sound too good.” And it didn’t, and it wasn’t the first time Felix had heard this rumor.   
“It’s a rumor, so I would take it with a grain of salt. Rumors rarely are true on these seas.”   
“Ah.” And the twist disappeared. He hoped Changbin was right, he most certainly did not want to fight some French soldiers, especially those of a trained warship.   
“And it’s not the first time someone has come up with rumors of such ships, after HMS Victory stopped sailing the rumors basically blew up and every month there was a new ship trying to get rid of pirates.”   
“I see.” Felix nodded. He had heard his share of those rumors when he had been little. 

“And after this we’ll get back to Tortuga. We don’t know our next destination yet, so we might spend even a few weeks in there.”   
“Oh?” That did not sound too good either.   
“Don’t worry, we can sleep on the ship and just hang out in the city during daytime. No more scary witches for us.” Felix’s heart throbbed at Changbin’s words, and he didn’t like that. Why was he being so… sweet all of a sudden?   
“Oh, thank you, my knight in shining armor. I was afraid I would have to look death in the eyes again.” A smile tugged the corners of Felix’s mouth.   
“No, but honestly, most of the crew sleeps in the ship, anyways, so it’s no big deal. The brothels and inns cost money, after all.” 

Well, at least Felix would have money for the next time. Chan wouldn’t have to pay for their meals. That made him feel a bit better, he hated owing anything to anyone. A silence engulfed the two, but it wasn’t an awkward one, luckily. The sounds from the forecastle had died out, and it was peaceful. But Felix’s heart wasn’t peaceful. Being with Changbin alone on the helm was not calm, it was not fun, and Felix’s heart was thrumming through his chest, and he wouldn’t have been surprised if Changbin had heard it. He hated this. Why did he have to feel like this? Especially when there was no chance, he would ever get those feelings returned.

Changbin didn’t seem to mind. He had his eyes fixated to the horizon, gazing up in the sky every now and then, making sure they were on the right course. Felix wasn’t needed, not anymore. And perhaps that bugged him a little, this had been a perfect opportunity for him to show everyone he was more than just a landlubber and a governor’s stupid son, but now Changbin was navigating and he didn’t need Felix. Felix wanted to be mad at him, but he couldn’t just bring himself to do that. 

A moment passed, turning slowly to another. Felix closed his eyes for a second, breathing in the fresh night. He tried to calm his heart, to get ahold of the moment. He could hear Changbin sighing, turning the wheel a little.   
“Are we on the course?” the boy quietly asked. Felix opened his eyes again, looked far away at the horizon.   
“An inch to port side.” Felix answered.   
“Aye, cap.” He wanted to throw something at Changbin. 

“Are Jeongin’s ointments healing your side?”   
“Yes.”   
“That’s good.”   
“Yeah.” In Felix’s mind, he returned to Changbin’s cabin, in that dimly lit little room, with his side bleeding and teardrops running down his cheeks. He still felt a little ashamed, having just bursted to tears like that and Changbin had had to console him (in which, he had succeeded quite well). In that dimly lit little room Felix had seen himself from the mirror for the first time in weeks. And in that dimly lit little room, there had been books on every damn surface. 

“Do you like reading?” Duh, dumbass? Felix mentally facepalmed himself. Changbin was quiet for a few seconds, do Felix hurried to continue;   
“I just remembered that you had quite a lot of books in your room.”   
“I do. I really like reading.”   
“What kind of books do you read? Other than map books.” Felix wasn’t sure if he imagined it, it was most likely just the moonlight being weird, but Changbin’s cheeks looked a little redder.   
“Everything. Anything I can get my hands on. Tortuga isn’t exactly the best place to buy books, so I buy them whenever I can, wherever I can. Stories, fairytales, logbooks, diaries from people that have passed on long ago… anything.”   
“Wow. You would have loved our library.”   
“… You had a library?”   
“Uhhuh. And not even a small one, my mother loved books as well. Loves.” Felix’s chest stung. Changbin didn’t seem to notice. 

“I wish I had a library, or I would ever get to visit one! We never have time to when we’re ashore, or the cities we are visiting are just pirate cities and don’t have any libraries.” Felix pouted at Changbin’s words.   
“You’ll get to visit one one day, I’m sure of it.”   
“I hope you’re right.”   
“Do you have a favorite book?” Despite the uncomfortable butterflies in his guts, Felix still wanted to learn everything about Changbin.   
“Not really. I do like those that tell about the ancient Greece. I like the stories with the gods and all that!”   
“Iliad and Odyssey?”  
“Yeah!” Changbin sounded so excited, how endearing! 

“I’ve read those too. But I uhm… didn’t like them very much.” Felix remembered how sir Ainsley had made him memorize half of Odyssey and write three essays of each of them.   
“Oh? But the stories are so wonderful and thrilling!”   
“And hard to understand. And I was forced to read them, so I didn’t really get that much out of them.” Changbin pouted at Felix.   
“That’s no fun. Did you have to read a lot?”   
“Don’t even ask. A new book every damn week. Everything from Shakespeare to Richard Lovelace and Thomas Hobbes. Anything sir Ainsley could get his hands on, I had to read. Mostly plays and anthologies along with a bunch of politics.” Felix reminisced. He couldn’t choose whether he hated the memories or cherished them.   
“Oh wow. I’m jealous.”   
“Don’t be, they were mostly boring books. Shift a little to starboard side.”   
“Felix! There are no such things as boring books! Every book is a miracle!” Changbin exclaimed, acting dramatic. Felix laughed at him, lifting his arms in front of him in a defensive manner.   
“Okay! There are no bad books! I’ve only read very good books!”   
“That’s more how I like it!” Changbin stuck his tongue out at Felix, and within a snap of fingers, the awkwardness was gone from Felix’s mind. He was in the present, not in his head. 

“Do you like Greek mythology in whole or just Iliad and Odyssey?”   
“I do like the mythology. I think it’s very understandable how people have come up with these different religions and beliefs throughout the history, and I think it’s also very interesting how they try to describe the world with them, make everything make a little more sense.” Felix had never thought it from that viewpoint. He nodded, urging Changbin to continue, since he was clearly invested in the topic.   
“I’ve also tried to find books about religions and mythologies from other continents, but most of them are in a language I don’t understand. But they have pretty pictures!” A smile spread to Felix’s face. He would have never guessed Changbin was interested in topics like these. 

“I also prefer poems over anything else. I like it when the words make me think and… see things and feel things like I am in the moment and I like it when the words hold different meanings and the words themselves are structured in a way that creates art. I really like that. And I also like to hear about heroes from somewhere so far away I can use my imagination to picture the stories.” Felix didn’t realize how much his smile had spread until Changbin stopped talking. He didn’t realize how his eyes were fixated on the boy, completely spellbound. 

“S-sorry I’m rambling.” Changbin stuttered as he noticed Felix staring at him.   
“No, it’s okay, I like hearing about what you’re passionate of!” Felix just couldn’t stop himself, could he?   
“Do you believe in… anything?” Felix asked, just out of curiosity.   
“You mean in any religion?”   
“Yeah.”   
“I don’t know.” Changbin answered, honesty in his voice: “I don’t know. There are so many different beliefs, which one is the right one? Or are they all right, in their own way?” Felix hummed in turn; he had thought about the same thing a few times.   
“I don’t know either. I mean, obviously I have always been taught that there’s just one Holy Father, but I don’t know. Maybe there is. Maybe there isn’t. Maybe there’s something else. We’ll find out when we die.”   
“How joyful, Felix.” Changbin laughed at him.   
“But it’s true!”  
“It is! I know!” 

The conversation flowed on, all of the tension in Felix had finally loosened up, he could breathe. Changbin’s presence made him comfortable again, made Felix forget about himself. Changbin made him forget about the twists in his gut, the heartache from earlier that day. Changbin made him laugh, he made him think about the wonders of the world, so far from the two of them, sailing through the darkness somewhere in the Caribbean. Changbin made him lose his sense of time and place. 

“You know, I’ve also been thinking that… if I’m ever going to get a ship of my own, I might name it after the Greek mythology.” Changbin continued after a few heartbeats of silence. Felix shuffled on the navigation table and sat closer to Changbin.   
“Oh? Like your father and uncles did?”   
“Sort of. I’ve thought of Adikia.” Felix couldn’t remember such goddess in the mythology. Changbin noticed Felix looking at him with an arched eyebrow.   
“She’s the goddess of injustice.”   
“Ah! But why injustice?” 

Changbin shrugged before running a hand through his black locks:   
“I don’t know. I just like the ring of it. Another one I’ve thought is Nemesis, but I know at least three other pirate ships called Nemesis. Or Enyo, that sounds nice too. But it might be a little short.”  
“Adikia sounds like you.” Felix said before he could stop himself.   
“Oh? You think so?”   
“Yeah, it fits you. Not the meaning but, I don’t know, like you said, the ring of it.”   
“That’s great, then.” 

“What would you name a ship if you ever got one?” Changbin asked from Felix in turn. Felix thought about his answer for a while, he had honestly never really thought about it. Sure, he had imagined what it would be like to own a ship, he just never had thought any name for it.   
“Hmm… Maybe some cliché stuff like the Golden Gull or something.” Changbin snorted at Felix:  
“C’mon! Be a little more imaginative!”   
“Okay, okay! How about… Calliope?”   
“Calliope? The muse of poetry?”   
“Yeah. I like it, it sounds peaceful. And it’s not widely used, I think.” 

Changbin hummed in approval. He was so effortlessly beautiful; Felix couldn’t help but just stare at him in the moonlight. The fresh breeze played with his slightly curly locks, pushing them over his eyes ever so often. His lashes casted small shadows over the highs of his cheeks, reflecting the moonlight. The straight, noble nose, leading to a cupid’s bow that left the Cupid himself breathless. The clear-cut jawline, strong neck. Even his ears were beautiful. 

And when Felix got to his eyes, he realized Changbin had turned his face towards him, staring right back at him. Felix didn’t know what it was, how he suddenly got that little ounce of courage, but he didn’t turn his eyes away. He didn’t back away, he didn’t let Changbin’s gaze intimidate him. He didn’t want to give in to the fact that, once again, Changbin had caught him staring at him.

And god, gods, any entity controlling the waves of the oceans, how beautiful those eyes were. Felix could have written a hundred essays of those eyes, he admitted that to himself. He was left breathless. Those ocean eyes, Felix wanted to dive in deeper and deeper into the abyss, to never look anywhere else but those eyes. 

Changbin took a step closer. 

“Hey Felix, do you have ti-“ Felix gasped out loud and pulled back, he had completely unintentionally leaned forwards. His heart was bursting through his chest, he could hear his blood rushing. He turned his eyes from the boy in front of him to the boy standing in the stairs, halfway over to the quarter deck.   
“J-Jisung?” Felix stammered, mortified. He hadn’t heard the boy approaching, let alone coming out from the forecastle. 

Jisung turned his eyes from Felix to Changbin. An unreadable expression spread over his features.   
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He spat out.   
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Changbin cocked his eyebrow at the other boy. He didn’t sound too pleased.   
“Jisung, did you have something-?” Felix rose from his seat on the table. His legs felt weak. His head was spinning.

Jisung glanced once at him, then back at Changbin, before taking a hurried step down the stairs.   
“Never mind.”   
“Jisung!”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😳 w-what if 👉👈 we nearly kissed 😚 under the moonlight 🌕 but our homie 🧍♂️ interrupted us 🖐😩 hooo boy the ~drama~ ! also, because a dear reader pointed out in the comments of the last chapter, i'd like to confirm that jeongin's character is indeed asexual, if someone missed that (as it is not clearly stated)! also!! i made a spotify playlist for oceanbound!! if any of you don't have spotify but wish to still listen to the playlist, just comment and ask, or hmu on my twitter or curiouscat and i will list all the songs in the playlist! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)  
[oceanbound playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5HfkMeMwaHTL6KA9LcIR4p?si=-ZE-oOg8QGiOydoDOwbgjw)


	28. 28

A cleaning day! What a joy for Felix! He sure as hell wasn’t tired of cleaning the damn ship every other day nowadays! 

Two days had passed since his night shift as a charter, one day since Chan had told him that he had done a great job and he would get more charting shifts in the future. Two days since that… incident on the helm. Felix still didn’t know what the hell had happened there, but the air sure had shifted after that. Neither of them had heard Jisung approaching, and when Felix had tried to run after the boy, he had disappeared into the forecastle and Felix just couldn’t barge in there when the rest of the crew were sleeping.

Felix didn’t understand how they hadn’t heard Jisung. Or maybe he did. Maybe he had, once again, been so caught up in Changbin’s presence that the rest of the world had simply faded away. Felix had thought about it a lot, he had thought about how there had been that long silence, just two of them staring right into each other’s souls, breathing the same air for god knows how many moments. Felix surely didn’t know how many. It could have been hours. That’s what it felt like. Didn’t the stories always tell how the time stopped when you were in love or something? 

No. That was a horrible thought, and Felix pushed it away. But he still didn’t have any explanation in his mind. The night after that had just continued like everything was completely normal and whatever that staring contest had been didn’t happen, Changbin had been a little annoyed at first but as the moon passed over the night sky, he had forgotten his annoyance and they had just kept talking about anything and everything in between the lands of the unknown and the faraway horizon. The awkwardness didn’t linger in the air, and Felix was glad. 

Right now, they were roughly a one day’s sail away from St. Thomas, and the crew was getting restless, a little giddy. They were clearly excited to see the other crew, Felix wasn’t so much, and he prayed he wouldn’t have to face the other pirate captain. The captain of Medusa. Felix shuddered at the thought of having to face him, but from what Hyunjin had told him, they most likely wouldn’t meet the captain apart from some greetings. Usually the two crews would just drink and throw a party on some tavern and the captains, along with the quartermasters and higher-position pirates would meet up for some future planning or something. Or that’s what Felix had been told. 

Minho was beside Felix, scrubbing the floor of the gun deck with wide sweeps. The captain wanted everything to be in a top-notch condition since they were meeting his brother, so now the whole crew was cleaning the ship. Again. It hadn’t even been a week since they had last cleaned it after the storm. But oh well, at least Felix had something to do and he didn’t have to think about Changbin all the time. But he was still thinking about him all the damn time. Fucking hell. 

Done with the gun deck, the two descended to the storage deck in shared silence. Some of the crewmembers were still scrubbing the cannons. Felix thought it was interesting, how before the heist of El Salvador everyone had always had their own tasks to do and it was mostly clear to everyone what they were doing during cleaning days (unless Chan ordered otherwise), and after they had lost eight men in the battle, other people had taken their tasks and everything continued on normally, as if those people had never existed. 

Of course, they had existed. Every now and then someone reminisced in those memories and shared them through drunken slurs, Felix had heard enough stories of his dead mates to last a lifetime. It was bittersweet, really. Gone, but not forgotten. It was life, Felix had come to accept that. The law of the seas, and Felix was willing to be part of that life, accept the law that he, too, was in danger (even though a picture of that boy still flashed in front of his eyes ever so often). Was it thrilling to him, being in danger all the time? Perhaps not. But it was better than rotting away in Nassau, better than becoming one of those old, bitter men that had never experienced the joy of adventure in their lives. 

Speaking of dead crewmates, Felix should ask Changbin how he’s holding up. And there he was again, occupying Felix’s thoughts. No, but honestly, Changbin had lost one of the closest people in his life in that battle and even though he and Felix had spent a lot of time together since then, they didn’t really… talk about that. They didn’t talk about losing. Only winning. They didn’t talk about their failures, just things that they had succeeded in. 

“I can hear your brain ticking all the way from there, you know.”   
“Hm?” Felix snapped out of his thoughts at Minho’s soft voice.   
“Just ask him out.” Minho didn’t look away from his mop. Felix flushed around fifty shades redder than his normal skin tone was.   
“A-ask wh-who out?” He wanted to yell and hide into the furthest, smallest corner of the storage deck.   
“You know who.” Minho sounded so nonchalant. 

“How did you know?” Felix sighed, beaten down, his shoulders slumped. He was just that obvious, wasn’t he?   
“I have ears. And eyes. And a brain.” Felix sighed. So if literally every single one of his friends knew, then Changbin most definitely did, too. How come the boy wasn’t avoiding him, then?   
“Where would I even ask him out? We’re on a ship in the middle of the sea. And why on earth would he do anything with me in the first place, anyway?” 

Minho snorted, then chuckled;  
“You are dense. Have a little faith in yourself. And aren’t we supposed to reach Charlotte Amalie by tomorrow evening? There’s your chance.” Felix swallowed. How in the hell was he being dense? There was no way Changbin would want to… go out with him. Or yes, maybe he would like to, let’s say, take a walk on the shores as friends normally do, but that was it. No “going out” in any other form than as friends.   
“I don’t have any faith in myself. I don’t know what to do or how to act.” Felix mumbled, and it wasn’t really meant for Minho to hear, but Felix knew he did anyway.   
“You have got quite far by just being yourself.” The witch gave Felix a quick smile as he lifted his gaze from the floor. He leaned against his broom, little beads of sweat lingering on his forehead. Felix cocked his eyebrow at the boy. 

“What do you mean far?” Minho rolled his eyes at the question and huffed, turned back to his work:  
“I did say you’re dense.”   
“Hey! I’m not dense! I’m just rational!”   
“Whatever you say, darling. Be rational. It’s such a great trait.”   
“It is!”   
“Only gets witches killed and pirates hanged and holds you from seeing things for other perspectives.” Because the authorities were always claiming to be only rational. 

Well, now Felix felt just bad. He pouted;  
“I’m sorry.”   
“Don’t be. But be a little less rational. It makes life worth living.” Minho smirked at Felix.   
“Alright, I’ll be a complete dumbass from now on.”   
“No need to, you’re already a master at that.” Minho was infuriating! Yet he still made Felix giggle. He couldn’t believe that just weeks ago he had been scared to his very core of the boy (or perhaps he still was a little scared, but more in the intrigued and respectful manner than actually scared). 

Slowly, but surely they got the storage deck cleaned up, too. Minho was humming some oddly familiar song, Felix’s thoughts traveled to Changbin once again. Felix didn’t understand, how over a month ago he had looked at the boy in the eyes for the first time ever and had had no idea what was to come. How he would literally fall for those ocean eyes. God, was he in deep trouble. 

Minho took the cleaning supplies back to the storage, Felix waited for him. He could hear someone calling out for them from the upper decks, sounded quite a lot like Chan.   
“Let’s go.” The witch mumbled, stepped on the stairs leading to the main deck. Felix went after him, taking one last look at the storage deck to see that everything was fine. 

Then he suddenly bumped against Minho’s back.   
“Hey, woah!“ Felix steadied himself. The boy in front of him was gripping the railing with a death grip, knuckles turning white. His breathing was labored, coming out in harsh wheezes.   
“Minho! Are you alright-?“ Suddenly Minho turned to Felix, and Felix got scared and took a step backwards, nearly falling off the stairs. Minho’s face was distorted with… sadness. Pain. His brows were knitted together, he looked like he was just about to cry. But that wasn’t the thing that scared Felix, no. It was Minho’s eyes. They were milky white. 

A tear rolled down Minho’s cheek:   
“I’m sorry, Felix. I’m really sorry.” 

And then, like from a snap of fingers, the color returned to Minho’s eyes, he blinked a few times, clearly confused. He loosened his death grip, glanced at Felix once.   
“Huh? Did something happen?” 

“N-nothing.” Felix stuttered. 

*** 

Felix sighed as he threw a rag into a bucket full of dirty water. He had been ordered to clean some of the kitchen equipment with Seungmin since Minho had just… disappeared after the incident. It was weird, it was concerning, and Felix didn’t want to think about it, but he had to. He thought about Minho with milky white eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks rather than Changbin. Felix hadn’t seen Minho after the other had run up the stairs, clearly a little confused of what had happened, Felix had a hunch he had gone to Chan or to get his head cleared or something like that. After all, Minho was very independent and didn’t let people in easily, and Felix guessed his presence wouldn’t be that wanted when Minho was in such a state. But it was weird. Odd. A bit scary. The… thing had reminded Felix of the woman in Rum Point. Minho just hadn’t had that odd tone to his speech, he had spoken… rather normally. But he had also woken up from the trance presumably remembering nothing. And that was why Felix hadn’t said anything.

Weird. 

“Are you done?” Seungmin softly voiced next to Felix. He looked a little tired, Felix didn’t ask why. He most likely knew the answer already. Little lovebirds.   
“Yeah.” Felix placed one of the pots back to its place. He didn’t know where Raul was since he was usually the one cleaning, but Felix didn’t bother asking. It was nice to actually do something, instead of just sitting and thinking. 

Hyunjin and Jisung had stopped by earlier, and Felix had nearly had the courage to pull the other boy to side and confront him of everything that had been going on in the past week. It was taking a toll on Felix, he partly understood why Jisung was acting the way he did, and partly didn’t. But all in all, he just wanted to be in good terms with him. Felix didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t want to lose a friend over… a boy he liked. 

Which was still so weird, and this all had started before Felix had… ‘liked’ Changbin. 

Or had it? Or had Felix just not realized he was crushing on the other boy? Oh no. What if he had been obvious even before he had realized his feelings? This was bad. So bad. Felix hated this with every fiber of his being.   
“You have been awfully quiet today.” Seungmin smirked at Felix, waking him up from his thoughts for the nth time today.   
“Oh. Sorry.” Felix mumbled. 

“Anyone special in your mind?” Felix could hear the mockery laced in Seungmin’s voice. He knew. Of course he knew, since Hyunjin and Jeongin knew. God, how Felix right now hated the fact that they were on a goddamn boat in the middle of the sea and any and all secrets did not stay as secrets for long. Unless you were Minho. 

“No. I am thinking about… a sparring session for today.” Felix rolled his eyes. He grabbed the bucket and moved it from the floor to a table.   
“Are we done here, or do we have something else to do?”   
“I’m just teasing you, Felix.” Seungmin had this little, crooked smile tugging the corners of his mouth. Felix sighed:  
“I know.” 

“I think we’re done for today. If you see Hyunjin on the deck, do you mind telling him that we’re done?”   
“Sure.” Felix didn’t ask what for, and to be honest, he didn’t want to know. He didn’t need to know. He grabbed the bucket and all the dirty rags with him, gave Seungmin a quick wave and hopped up the stairs to the main deck. It was afternoon, a few clouds passed by the sky and occasionally hid the sun behind them. The air felt pleasant, it wasn’t too hot nor too cold. These kinds of days were perfect days for sailing, Jeongin had once mentioned. The wind trifled through Felix’s hair, pushed it over his eyes, blocking his ability to see for a few moments. 

And in those few moments, he managed to stumble upon something – no, someone, and pull them tumbling down with him, hard. Felix yelped as he tripped over his own legs and someone else’s legs, the bucket he had had in his hand flying god knows where, spilling water everywhere. Felix winced as his palms scraped against the wooden boards of the deck, nearly drawing blood. 

Someone next to him groaned, and Felix’s blood seized immediately as he recognized that groan. Oh no. Oh no. 

Felix tried to stumble up, but he was caught with a strong arm around his waist, another supporting his arm. And then he was all too close, way too close to the stormy eyes deeper than the abyss.   
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you, are you hurt?” Changbin stuttered, holding on to Felix.   
“I-I-I am fine!” Felix stammered, he could feel his ears turning red, blush dusting over his cheeks. Changbin was too close. Too fucking close. Felix could see the tiny mole underneath his eye, and he shouldn’t be close enough to see that under any circumstances. 

Then Changbin also realized that he was way too close, and quickly let go of Felix’s arm and waist, took a few small, wobbly steps back.   
“Are you sure? Is your side okay?” Changbin glanced at Felix’s side, but saw no blood.   
“It’s fine, it’s nearly healed thanks to Jeongin. I didn’t hurt myself.” Changbin’s shoulders seemed to release some tension at that.   
“Okay. Good. I’m sorry.”   
“No, I’m sorry, I bumped into you.” Felix demanded. Changbin pouted:   
“We’re both at fault.”  
“Okay. Deal.” And there that was again, that little smile and that little thunder inside Felix’s chest. Oh, how he hated this. 

Felix glanced around, saw that the dirty water and the rags had spilled everywhere. He sighed in frustration – he and Minho had just a few hours ago mopped the damn deck! And now he would have to do it again.   
“I’ll help you.” Changbin hurriedly said as he noticed the little crease in between Felix’s eyebrows.   
“No need to, it’s not a big deal.” Felix picked up the bucket and a few rags near to him. Changbin picked up another three.  
“No. I insist. I’ll help you.”   
“Changbin.” Felix looked up at the other boy. His heart skipped a beat. And Jeongin was snickering behind Changbin on the quarterdeck. And Felix felt like leaping over the damn edge once again, but he also felt like backing up a minute to that way-too-close embrace. Conflicting. Awful.   
“Felix. I’ll help you. I want to.” 

*** 

“And then bang! Seven men on the deck, seven underneath, against at least fifty! And we won!” Hyunjin exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air and vividly explaining the details of that one heist years ago where the odds had been against their favor so bad, but they had still managed to win.   
“I thought that would be the end of Euryale. I was wrong. Thank god.” Felix hummed as a response as he pushed open the kitchen door and hopped down the stairs. He grabbed a plate and stuffed it full with whatever Seungmin and Raul had managed to gather together. Stew, and some salted meat. 

Felix turned around and spotted his friends sitting in the far-right corner. He and Hyunjin skipped over the floor, squeezing themselves from between tables full of crewmembers, loud and laughing. Just as usual. Just as normal. It was comforting, it made Felix’s heart swell. That, and the sight of Changbin. Too bad he was sitting in the corner, and there were only seats left at the end of the table. 

Until Jeongin noticed Felix and Hyunjin approaching. And literally shoved Seungmin to the end spot and moving along himself, so that there was now a seat open in front of Changbin. Felix’s neck felt like burning. He nearly declined the seat, but then he realized the other one free was opposite to Seungmin, and it would have been really weird, if Felix had sat there, especially since it was also the seat next to Jisung. Who was sitting next to Minho. Who was sitting next to Changbin. So Felix placed his plate and utensils in front of Changbin and sat down. 

Changbin had watched over all of this clownery with a cocked eyebrow, and the blush on Felix’s face deepened. If that was not enough to make him realize things, then nothing was. Oh, how Felix wished Jeongin would have just not noticed anything. Or not. 

“Hey.” He slightly smiled at Changbin, sitting down. He noticed the redness on Changbin’s ears, and then he hoped Jeongin wouldn’t have done that. He didn’t want to make Changbin uncomfortable. Oh god, what if he had realized Felix’s crush and now he was uncomfortable with it? Oh god. Oh no.   
“Hey.” The other mumbled, a quick smile crooking the corner of his mouth. Then Felix realized how horrible his situation actually was, Changbin was sitting with his back facing the wall, no windows, on their other side the two had another wall, a candle casted it’s soft light from its holder a little above Felix’s head. On their other side they had their friends, Chan had also joined their company now, and the rest of the room was left behind Felix’s back. So he had no other option than to look at Changbin. Or Minho. Or anyone speaking, but he was also way too aware of Changbin sitting in front of him to focus on anyone else. 

Felix nearly dropped some stew on his (Changbin’s) shirt, then nearly missed his mouth and choked on his water. Jeongin patted him on his back to help him cough the water out of his lungs. On top of that, his face was burning from embarrassment. Oh, how he hoped for a second he would still have any ounce of that elegance left he had still had a few months ago. But no, the infamous pirate’s life had most certainly rid him of any of that. Not that he had had it that much in the first place, anyway. 

Hyunjin and Seungmin were clearly in their own world, stealing little glances every now and then and blushing, spellbound by each other. Chan looked a little flustered, having to sit at the end of the table in between the two. Jisung was awfully quiet, but snapped out of his thought as soon as Minho said something close to his ear. A smile widened to his features, reaching his eyes, and soon he was his talkative self, as usual. Jeongin wsd eating in silence, so were Felix and Changbin. Which was… getting a little awkward. 

Until Chan finally switched seats with Seungmin and took ahold of the situation, breaking the silence and starting the conversation with a typical “how was your day” -question, to which nearly everyone answered with something along the lines of “it was alright.” The ice was broken, awkwardness no longer present in the atmosphere of the kitchen. Now it felt warm, inviting, as it always did. Kitchen was probably one of Felix’s favorite places in the ship, he had so many fond memories associated with it. 

Then Felix found himself in Changbin’s eyes again. Like a lovesick fool.   
“Did you manage to get the deck clean?” Changbin asked, some breadcrumbs falling from the corner of his mouth. Amelia Lee would have lost his mind, how dare he speak when he had food in his mouth. Felix was enthralled.   
“Yeah. It wasn’t a big deal.” Changbin had been called by his father half-way through the cleaning process.   
“Good. That’s good.”   
“Mhhm.” 

“At least your highness didn’t have to get their soft hands all splintered with a mop.” Felix mumbled, loud enough for Changbin to hear before he could stop himself as he shoved some stew in his mouth. Changbin scoffed;  
“I have mopped these decks more than you will ever do in your lifetime, deckboy.”   
“Are you insinuating that you have actually worked on this ship?”   
“Are you saying I don’t look like I work my ass of every day?” Oh my god, Felix do not look at his arms, do not, absolutely do not do that, and then he did, and swallowed, and Changbin clearly noticed that, and an award-winning smile appeared on his features. How had they ended up here during a minute-long conversation?   
“With those sticks? Yes.” Felix bit his tongue. He could not let Changbin win, he could not. 

Changbin rolled his eyes;  
“These muscles have mopped the decks with blood of my enemies, babe, don’t you forget that.”   
“Oh, I will certainly forget that, I hope.” Felix’s voice was not strong. It was squeaky. Babe? Babe?! 

Minho coughed next to Changbin, and it had the same effect as if Minho had slapped Felix right across his face and returned him back to the moment, where him and Changbin were, in fact, sitting with their friends in the kitchen. Changbin looked just as guilty, when he realized where they were. And that the others had been listening to their whole conversation. 

Felix wanted to scream. 

*** 

“Hey, Felix, can you take these to the storage?” Chan voiced from the quarter deck above Felix’s head. Felix hopped up the stairs. Jeongin had just bidden him a good night, and Hyunjin and Seungmin were once again nowhere to be found, and Felix wasn’t really keen on looking for them. But he didn’t want to go to sleep yet, either, so whatever task Chan gave was fine for him. Sangyeon was on the helm, gently moving the wheel from one side to the other, the evening breeze playing with his hair, the setting sun dying his blue shirt orange. 

Chan handed Felix a few scrolls of paper, most likely maps of some sort. And not very important, since the most important ones were kept in Chan’s or the captain’s rooms. Chan gave Felix a bright smile and a nod of ‘thank you’, before Felix turned around and descended the steps back to the main deck. He quickly glanced at the open vast sea next to him – little islands could be seen sticking up from the horizon far, far away. Felix had to admit it to himself, seeing those little patches of land made him feel a bit more at ease. There was something terrifying about sailing through the open vast with no land anywhere to be seen, no gulls screeching, no voices emanating from other ships. It always set this slight feeling of fear in Felix, but not in a bad way, oh, he loved sailing, he loved seeing the blue all around him and being completely free of any and all bounds, but still… there was something about it. Complete isolation. Away from everyone else. In the worst case, away from help. 

The setting sun painted the skyline in a cavalcade of different colors, each and every one of them more breathtaking than the other, deepening hastily as the sun receded behind the horizon. Felix breathed in the fresh air, he could smell the night dawning upon them. Felix heard Johnny tell him goodnight, to which he answered with another night. Most of the crew were already on their way to sleep, after all, tomorrow there would be a something close to a party, a gathering of the two crews in Charlotte Amalie. Felix wasn’t really looking forward to that, but he was looking forward to seeing the city and spending time with his friends ashore. 

Felix descended the stairs to the gun deck, then to the storage deck. A few torches were still lit, which was perhaps a little odd, but he figured someone might still have had something to work on, or Chan had told them to not turn them off tonight. Felix opened one storage room door, then realized it was the wrong one, and went for the one next to it. He placed the scrolls where they belonged to after fumbling around a little. Speaking of tonight, after Minho had snapped Changbin and Felix out of their own little world, everything had gone pretty much downhill. Felix had been a few shades too red, he knew it, Hyunjin and Seungmin had kept on giggling at him and Jeongin had given him a few too-knowing looks. Jisung had looked rather sour, and Felix’s hopes of talking to the boy after dinner had disappeared with the wind as Jisung had dragged Minho along with him after dinner. 

Felix had desperately tried to ignore Changbin’s existence after that… thing. He wasn’t in a need of Hyunjin constantly snickering at him, and he definitely wasn’t in a need of blushing all the time, because he sure was shit at concealing it. Felix really had thought he was a bit better, hiding his feelings from his parents had been somewhat easy to him during the last years of living in Nassau, but now? Hell, he didn’t know how to act. 

Felix sighed and closed the storage room behind him. He was just about to step on the first step of the stairs leading to the gun deck, before he heard a split second of someone shuffling behind him and then, a flash of steel – and a sword blocking his way up, just inches away from his throat. 

Felix nearly shrieked and took a quick step backwards, he thought his heart had bursted through his chest, and it sure did when he heard a chuckle coming from his left.   
“Finally, I got you.” 

Felix slowly lifted his hand and placed his forefinger on the tip of the sword, just a little below his chin. He moved it gently away from him and turned around to face the boy to his left.   
“Nearly two months on a ship together and it took you this long to try to kill me?” 

Changbin chuckled as he pulled the sword away from Felix.  
“I wouldn’t want to kill my favorite teacher, would I?”   
“I don’t know, I can’t see inside your head.” Felix grinned at the boy who slightly pouted. Oh, how endearing he looked! So this is why the torches had still been lit. Changbin was here. Why was he here?   
“Why are you still up? Didn’t you say you had something to do?”   
“So you paid attention! I thought you were ignoring me.” Oh, he was. Felix definitely had tried to ignore him.   
“You literally announced it as loud as you could when you left the table.”   
“True. And to answer your question, I was waiting for you.” 

Oh? 

What was that, tugging Felix’s heartstrings? Felix knew it all too well. And he hated it with passion. But he was also way too curious for his own good.   
“What for?” Felix asked. He could swear a tiny hue of rose dusted over Changbin’s cheeks.   
“I um…” Huh? A sudden turn around in Changbin’s demeanor, now he was avoiding Felix’s gaze and looking everywhere but him.   
“You what?”  
“You see… I kind of missed our little nightly sparring sessions.”   
“…Oh.” 

And now Felix was blushing, too.   
“You know, you could have just asked.” He mumbled, to which Changbin smiled a little.   
“I know. But you have been spending a lot of time with Minho and Jeongin so…” Felix couldn’t help the arching of his eyebrow. Was the boy jealous? Changbin? Jealous?   
“And you were so keen on monitoring everyone else on the swording lessons so…” Changbin scratched the back of his neck a little awkwardly. The air in the storage deck was tense.   
“Well, you haven’t exactly been needing that much attention. You’re already good.” 

Changbin pouted at Felix’s words.   
“Changbin, are you jealous?”   
“Jealous? Me? Of course not!” The deepening blush told otherwise to Felix, and he giggled.   
“Okay, I believe you, you’re not jealous.” Felix leaned against the railing of the stairway with his other arm, clearly not believing Changbin, and that could be seen in the way his lips curled to a mischievous smile and eyes twinkled in the torchlight.  
“I just want to learn more! I’m impatient!”   
“Okay, okay! You’re not jealous, you want to learn more. And you definitely do not need more of my attention.”   
“Definitely not.” Changbin was now smiling, too. He knew Felix saw through his façade. Not that Felix was going to mention it. It was driving him crazy. 

So. Changbin wanted attention. Felix would give him that attention, because in all honesty, he was ready to give the boy anything he would ever ask without thinking even for a heartbeat. And he hated that. But at the same time, he didn’t. He didn’t hate it when he was with Changbin, he could only see him, his blinding smile and those ocean eyes, and Felix could at least for a brief second imagine that maybe, maybe there was a slight chance that Changbin could feel something. But Felix knew, the second he would let his thoughts wander when he was alone, he would come to the same conclusion he had come every night so far – there was absolutely no way of Changbin ever liking him back in any other way than as a friend. And that was final. 

But Changbin wanted attention. So Felix was going to give it to him, even though he knew he’d regret it when he would finally get to bed later. Felix pulled a sword from the barrel next to the staircase, and with one swift motion, he was only a few inches away from Changbin’s throat with his blade.   
“Feathers.” He commanded, and clearly saw the change in Changbin’s demeanor. The boy took a quick step back and brought his blade in front of him, sliding it against Felix’s. The steel screeched. 

Their eyes met for a few heartbeats. Then Felix stepped to the left and swung. 

Up, down, around and up again. The blades clashed against each other in quick, sharp motions. Felix danced away from Changbin, attacked again, smirked at the boy when he parried his attack early on. Then Changbin caught up on him, and sent Felix’s sword flying on the other side of the deck. Then he pointed his blade towards Felix’s throat, once again. Felix lifted his arms in front of his chest in a defensive manner. 

And after a few moments, it was Felix that made Changbin drop his sword, and then again, and then both of them were so out of breath, that Felix had to lean against a beam to catch his breath. They were in sync, that wasn’t a shock to Felix. Changbin learned well, and he learned fast, and he was catching up to Felix quickly, picking up his way of swordfighting and using it against him. Smart. Very smart. It set a little fire inside Felix. 

“I want to teach you something new. Something that no one else will be able to teach you, except for another high-rank officer of the English navy. It’s a royal move.” Felix said, after pondering for a moment. It was a rather difficult set of moves, but it was something that would certainly be useful for Changbin. Changbin looked surprised at Felix’s words. Felix didn’t entirely know why he decided to teach this to the other boy. Perhaps this was the attention he was giving Changbin, after all, his little… jealousy? Had started after the others had joined their swordfighting sessions, so now this could be something… just between the two of them. 

Changbin looked pleased. He had a little smile tugging the corner of his mouth. His bangs curled a little on his forehead due to the sweat. Stunning. Felix picked up his sword and handed it over to him.   
“It’s only used if your opponent is roughly on the same level as you are, or that’s what I was told a few years ago. Don’t know why.” Perhaps it was a question of fairness. Changbin nodded, focused on Felix. 

“Start with your stronger foot ahead of you.” Changbin did as he was told, his left food ahead of him, mirroring Felix’s movements. Then Felix began to explain the set. A swing, turn using one’s weaker foot, another swing, around, preferably with a pirouette, surge forwards, dive underneath the arm of the opponent to their backside, swing, another swing, a sudden change of sword hand, left, right, left, left, another hand change, and again, left, right, the trick was to confuse the opponent, and then the backside again, and with a large swing, disarming the opponent. 

“Are you serious?” Changbin asked after Felix was done explaining the set.   
“Yes?” Felix quirked his brow a little, a tiny smirk curling the corner of his mouth.   
“The thing is that you need to be fast. Extremely fast. The whole set needs to come to you so naturally that you don’t think about it when you do it, you understand?” Changbin nodded.   
“If your opponent knows what you’re doing, they will be able to counter the attack, and then it’s just a question about who is faster and remembers the set better, or is better at changing it in such a fast movement.” Changbin nodded again.   
“It’s a hard one.” He mumbled, a bit of concern laced in his voice.   
“I know. But it’s nothing you won’t be able to do, I know it.” Felix reassured him.  
“If you say so.”   
“I say so.” 

And he did. And then the two of them began repeating the steps again and again, Felix constantly telling Changbin to remain on feathers, how to point his sword to get the most effect out of it.   
“This set isn’t supposed to be deadly, but it can be deadly, if you instead of the last swing, piston your sword forwards, then you’ll most likely pierce your opponent’s heart. Unless they block your attack. Or kill you first. So you need to be quick. I’m going to teach you this so clearly that you will know these steps in your sleep and your heart. Forever” Felix was determined, and with every new step he taught Changbin, he got more and more confident that Changbin could do this. 

They lost the track of time. Repetition upon repetition, hours passed, and the only noises apart from the clashing of blades and heavy breathing were the sounds of small waves hitting the hull of the ship. Felix had accidentally cut a tiny little wound to Changbin’s hand, but Changbin had just waved it off like nothing happened. And it wasn’t that Felix was afraid that he had hurt Changbin, he just felt a little guilty about it.   
“Feathers! Changbin, you’re better than this!” Felix laughed and the other pirate’s groan as he surged forwards once again. 

Felix’s limbs were aching, he was tired, but something kept him going, and that something was that little fire inside him every time Changbin smiled at him, or laughed, or… anything. He wanted to do this. He wanted to be here, on the damn storage deck once again, just because of Changbin. Of course he did. He was foolish. A lovesick fool. 

Then, suddenly, Changbin took one step a little too close, stumbled, and before Felix knew it, he reached to grab the boy mid-air from falling, only to fall face first literally on top of the other boy, as his feet were way too tired to handle the other boy’s weight as well. 

Literally. On top of. The other boy. It took a few too many seconds for Felix to realize, that he was staring into the ocean eyes only a few inches away, for the second time today, Changbin’s breath fanning over him, ghosting over his neck, fingers tugging the fabric of Felix’s shirt. Felix was still holding on to Changbin’s arm, other one keeping his whole weight from crushing Changbin. 

Seconds passed in the rhythm of Felix’s heartbeat. He noticed Changbin’s eyes flickering from his eyes to a little lower once, twice, and then he finally snapped out of his trance and scrambled up, a stuttering and a stammering mess;  
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I tried to catch you, I didn’t mean to, I’m so so sorry-!” Felix reached out to Changbin again and helped him up. But Changbin didn’t look mad, oh no, he was giggling. And blushing. Visibly. Felix was ready to somersault himself off of the damn ship, again. 

“Felix! It’s okay, we’re both tired.” Changbin ran a hand through his dark locks, pushing them away from his forehead. How did he look like a roman god while he was sweating and dead tired? Felix couldn’t understand it. He really couldn’t.   
“Yeah, we are. I think we should finish for today. You can remember the steps, you just need to get more agile and faster and then you can do the fancy royal move, and you will be the only born pirate in the Caribbean to know that!” Felix dropped his blade into the barrel and beamed at Changbin. Ethereal. Breathtaking. Out of this world gorgeous, that’s what Changbin was in the torchlight, skin glistening, hair a mess. 

“The only pirate? You’re not going to teach this to the others?” Changbin sounded surprised. Felix thought about it for a little;  
“Hm. No. You said you wanted my attention, so now you got it.”   
“I only said I wanted to learn new things! And I did!” Changbin exclaimed, faking annoyance.   
“You did. And I was thinking that we could let the royal move be… our thing. Kind of. I guess. Just between the two of us” And the sudden surge of courage was gone, and Felix was blushing again, shying away from Changbin’s intense gaze. 

“Our thing?” Changbin asked, he was standing close enough that his knuckled brushed against Felix’s.   
“Yeah. Our thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i decided to take every single cliché ever and smash them together in this chapter, i hope y'all liked the end result! also, bad news guys..... there's only ten chapters left. we are slowly but surely sailing towards the end... tho that may or may not be the end for the oceanbound world........ no promises but i may or may not have something cooking ....
> 
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	29. 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cw: mentions of domestic abuse

“Ahoy! Land ho!” The yell pierced through the air, making the bustle on the deck come to a brief halt, as everyone turned to look forwards. Sure enough, there was an island slowly rising above the horizon still far away. They had already passed a few other islands on their way, with many little villages waving hellos at them as they sailed by. Felix could feel a spike up in the crew as excitement filled them to their very cores. It did that to Felix, too. He was excited to get his feet on solid land for the first time in weeks, and he was excited to see what kind of a small town Charlotte Amalie was. 

Felix could see the outlines of another ship slowly appearing along with the town. Medusa. Shivers ran down his spine. If Jeongin was to be believed, he wouldn’t have to meet the captain of Medusa, the other Captain Seo, unless he would say hi to the crew or something, but it was very unusual. Felix would most likely meet people from the crew of Medusa, but he doubted any of them would know who he was, so Felix wasn’t really afraid of that. And he did have his friends backing him up in case of the worst. So he wasn’t all that scared. Just a little anxious. 

Captain Seo opened the door to the quarter deck and walked up to the helm to talk with Chan. Felix moved slightly behind Hyunjin’s shoulder, as he still wasn’t fond of the captain. Sure, the captain had left him alone after that chess game and hadn’t… bullied him since, but he was still intimidating. But perhaps that chess game had eased the air a little. Perhaps the captain finally had at least some sort of respect towards Felix. Maybe. Perhaps. Hopefully. 

Changbin followed his father, he gave Felix a little smirk along with a nod as he noticed the boy. Felix nodded back. Top notch communication, if Felix was the one to talk.   
“What are we doing in the city?” Hyunjin asked their little group of friends.  
“I’d love some good ol’ portwine and food. And to meet some folks from Medusa.” Jisung leaned against the bannister. He didn’t meet Felix’s eye as he spoke, Felix didn’t blame him. Minho was standing next to him, looking completely… normal. No traces of that weirdness of yesterday was left.

“Ask him out”, rung in Felix’s ears when his eyes met the witch’s. He almost had. If he just wasn’t such a coward and a fool and hadn’t accidentally fell over Changbin for the second time of the day, perhaps he would have. But he didn’t. And now he hadn’t seen Changbin during the whole day except for now. But he was with his father, and Felix did most certainly not have any courage to ask him now out in the broad daylight. So, he would just spend his time with his friends and hope Changbin would join them at some point, since he was most likely going to see his uncle with his father and a few other crewmembers, including Chan. So Felix wasn’t going to do anything about it. How sad.

Hyunjin and Jisung continued their light banter as they slowly sailed towards Charlotte Amalie. Soon Felix could make out the outlines of the town. It looked quite a lot like Nassau, it was a bit smaller, but just as lively, it seemed. Little trails of smoke reached up to the air above the buildings from the chimneys. There were two ships tied to the pier in front of the city, the other one was Medusa, the other one an unknown ship. Until it wasn’t unknown, as Felix recognized it to be Odysseus. Bang Yongguk’s ship. The man with the seven faces. Someone known to hate Charles Lee. Oh fuck. Why was he here? 

If he had worked with the other Captain Seo for the heist of La Flota, perhaps he knew of Felix’s existence. The captain of Euryale most likely had told of his plan to kidnap the son of Charles Lee to his brother, so perhaps the captain of Medusa had told it to the captain of Odysseus. Which was not good. Oh no. Not at all. 

“I think I’ll stay in the ship.” Felix whispered to Jeongin next to him. Jeongin’s eyes traveled towards the shoreline, and he understood what Felix meant.   
“It’s okay, I doubt you’ll have to meet him. And Bang Yongguk doesn’t do harm to anyone who hasn’t done harm to him directly. The rumors just make him seem like the devil for some reason. He’s actually rather nice.” Jeongin couldn’t help but giggle at Felix’s expression, which looked to be something in between bewildered and confused.   
“Most of the rumors surrounding him aren’t true. But he keeps them to boost his reputation.”   
“And you know this because?”   
“I have talked to him. And he doesn’t kill unless he’s provoked. His sword decides who to kill for him.”   
“What?”   
“I don’t know, but I’ve seen the sword myself, run for your life if he unsheathes it.” Felix looked at the half-mermaid next to him even more confused now. What the hell?   
“But didn’t you just say the rumors aren’t true?”   
“Not all of them. Some of them are.” 

Okay. Felix wasn’t going to question further, he didn’t want to know, and he most certainly didn’t want to bump into the man with seven faces on the streets of Charlotte Amalie. Holy hell. 

“Everyone! You have done well during our sail, and I am thankful for your patience. Rest for tonight, do whatever you please in the beautiful town of Charlotte Amalie. Tomorrow we will lift the anchor at noon, so return to the ship by then. Those who fall behind are left behind.” Captain Seo’s voice boomed over the crew.   
“We will head back to Tortuga next. We will be staying there for a few weeks, so you will have all the time to relax there. Are we clear?”   
“Aye sir!” The crew yelled unanimously. Felix, too. He was part of the crew, after all. 

As they approached the island, Felix noticed even more similarities to Nassau. The city rose uphill, it was built around the main street leading to the pier. Next to the pier was the marketplace, full of life. The shoreline stretched to Felix’s left, leading to some cliffs, standing proud against the waves of the sea. The cliffs weren’t large, nor spiky, but smooth and round, the sea had clearly worked her magic on them. Felix and Eric had used to take naps on similar cliffs in Nassau. The memory brought a little smile to Felix’s face. Oh, how he missed that boy. But his absence wasn’t so unbearable anymore. Not when Felix had found new friends, new people to pour his heart out to. 

Then Felix got an idea. He wanted to take nap on those cliffs. But not alone. The captain had left back to his quarters, Changbin had followed him suit, fortunately for Felix.   
“I’ll be back in a minute.” He quickly announced and hopped up the stairs to the quarter deck, where Chan was standing with Sangyeon. They were discussing something, Sangyeon smiled at the quartermaster and nodded.   
“Hey Chan!” Felix interrupted whatever they had going on.   
“Felix! What brings you here?” Then, Felix got a little shy all of a sudden. But he was already here. He had to bring this through. 

“Do you happen to have any quill, ink and paper? Just a little, I don’t need much.” Felix fiddled with the hem of his shirt.   
“Yeah, I have some in my cabin, you can go get some from there.” Chan handed him the keys to his room (and everywhere else in the ship), Felix gave him a quick thanks before scuttling down the stairs and through the door to the hallway. That same hallway that lead to Changbin’s cabin. Felix took a deep breath, remembering all that had happened during that one night after the storm there. The breakdown, the tears, Changbin’s words. All of it. Felix felt warm, but he was also suffocating, so he took a deep breath, and opened the door to Chan’s own cabin. 

A mess, just like the last time he had been there. Felix took a quill, some ink and a leftover scrap of paper from the writing desk in the corner. He was glad Chan hadn’t asked any details, but then again, he knew how to mind his own business. And he probably knew something was going on. Except that nothing was going on. Felix and Changbin were friends, and because they were friends, Felix wanted to hang out with him. And since he would most likely be stuck with his father the whole evening, Felix wanted to help him out. At least try to. He wouldn’t be sad if this would fail. Or perhaps he would. Maybe a little. 

They were approaching the town from southwest, so the sun would set roughly to their left side. To the west side. When Felix had stood on the deck, the cliffs, not too far away from the town, were on his left, so they were on the west side. Felix thought about it for a moment, the scrap he had found wasn’t big, so he had to make his message short. But informative. The message would have to contain time and place.   
“Meet me where the sun sets.” 

*** 

Charlotte Amalie was gorgeous. Up close, it didn’t look like Nassau at all. It was full of life, the atmosphere was warm and welcoming, and pirates were clearly not feared among the city’s inhabitants. Perhaps they were usual guests, and if they let the citizens alone and at peace, the pirates were welcome. A little girl in a rosy dress waved at Felix as they were slowly walking upwards the main street, just lazing around. None of them had ever been to Charlotte Amalie before, so the wondrous looks in the other boys’ eyes were justified. 

The buildings around the streets were colorful, their paints hadn’t worn out in the storms of the Caribbean, and if they had, they had been repainted. Yellow, red, blue, all kinds of colors, some chapped a bit by the sun, yet still everything surrounding Felix was bursting with color. The streets were filled with stalls and booths, selling anything and everything, from vegetables and flowers to pieces of jewelry. People, everywhere, for such a small town Felix would have expected a little less bustle. The whole town was loud. Chattering, birds, children, laughter, occasional cries, all around Felix. The city was alive. It was breathing, and Felix loved the feeling.

They stopped in front of some small shop, Jeongin was intrigued by the beautiful sashes made of bright colors. The woman behind the stall smelled of freshly picked flowers, and she had a few tangled in his hair. Felix smiled at him, gesturing the woman’s hair (he wasn’t sure if they shared a language), to which the woman answered by taking a small flower from her basket and placing it behind Felix’s ear. Felix thanked her, just before Jeongin pulled him along again. 

Felix’s little pouch was tugged in his sash, the coins inside it clinking a little with every step. He nearly stumbled on the cobblestones, but Jeongin steadied him with his arm, as he stopped by a new booth selling herbs that looked strange to Felix.   
“How much for these three?” Jeongin asked from the seller.   
“For you, my dear boy, five bucks.” So Jeongin fished out five coins from his pouch and gave them to the seller. 

Minho and Jisung were on the other side of the street, Hyunjin and Seungmin were standing in front of another booth. A little wind trifled through the city streets, swaying the washing lines hanging in between the houses above the streets. Felix could see some crewmembers entering a tavern close by. He could also see other pirates, most likely from the crew of Medusa or Odysseus. Felix couldn’t recognize the crew from their clothes. 

Johnny approached them with a smile plastered on his face.   
“Found anything yet?” Felix shook his head. Not that he even needed anything. Sure, some new clothes would have been nice, but he felt a little reluctant using the money he had. Why? He didn’t exactly know. Or perhaps he knew. He didn’t want to use stolen money. Or rather, he didn’t want to use money he had got himself by killing someone. 

Until they walked past a book shop. 

Felix stopped in his tracks, glancing inside from the door that was a little ajar. The shop looked rather quiet, and the huge bookshelves covered the windows, so it seemed to be dark as well.   
“You want to go in?” Jeongin asked from beside Felix. For a moment, Felix thought about it, but he eventually nodded. It wouldn’t hurt, right? It wasn’t like there were any bookshops in Tortuga. Or perhaps there was. Felix would have to find out. 

The bookshop was quiet, as Felix had anticipated, a complete contrast to the clamor outside. It wasn’t a large shop, no, but it was filled with books to the brim. They were everywhere, the spaces between the shelves so narrow Felix had to walk with his other shoulder first. For someone claustrophobic, the shop would have been hell. The air inside was a little dusty, but nothing unbearable. It seemed like the type of shop that rarely got any other customers than the regulars. 

“Good evening, boys. How may I help you?” A velvety voice called from behind the counter at the back of the shop. How could she help them?   
“I. Uhh, we’re just checking out the books for now.” Felix answered. He still couldn’t see the lady, but he could feel her presence. Was she a witch? Felix wouldn’t have been surprised. 

He turned back to the bookshelves. Anywhere that there was space in the shelves, there was a little lantern to light their way. On top of some of the shelves were plants, here and there some ivies reaching down the shelves, tangling themselves around the books. Felix read the backs of the books, tried to make out what they were. Most of them were in languages that he didn’t know. All of them looked old, used. These were most likely stolen from other ships, Felix figured, and pirates had sold them to the shopkeeper. Or perhaps she collected books from people who no longer needed them and sold them forwards. 

“Oh, this seems interesting!” Jeongin tugged a book from the shelf. Herbs and worts and how to use them read on the cover. Felix gently smiled at him, as Jeongin flipped through the pages.   
“I know most of these, but not all of them. I think I’ll take this.”   
“That would be twenty bucks.” resonated from the shadows. Jeongin didn’t seem to be fazed by the looming presence. 

Felix turned around from the corner to other little hallway of shelves. He let his fingers gently travel over the old, worn out backs of the books, mapping out the pressed letters, some of them golden, some silver, some just basic brown. What did he want? Was he looking for something? Felix didn’t know. He wasn’t a huge fan of reading himself. But someone was. Someone a little too important for him. And after all, Felix had read a lot of books in his life, so he could work as a… recommender. He could recommend books. Based on what he himself had read. Yeah. That was it. That’s why he was here. 

Felix turned around to face another shelf. An ivy next to him moved around. Was it windy, inside this little shop? Felix turned his gaze to the ivy and noticed that it wasn’t an ivy at all. It was a snake! A green, huge snake! He gasped and quickly stepped backwards, bumping against the shelf behind his back.   
“No need to fear, she is fond of visitors.” The voice from behind the counter told Felix. Felix stared at the snake, who in fact, did not seem to care for him. She simply continued her travel down the shelf.   
“Great!” Felix wheezed out before returning back to where he had come from and turned to another narrow hallway of shelves. This time he made sure none of the ivies were actually snakes. 

Then he spotted something, a book that caught his attention. Felix squatted down and pulled the book out from the shelf. It was bound with a brown leather case; the letters had been burnt on the cover. The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha. Felix had read that book, in fact, he had read it three times. One time on his own, one time because Sir Ainsley had told him to, and one time because he had just wanted to do that. Because it was a rather good book. It was funny, yet thought-provoking. 

Felix stood up with the book in his hand. Had Changbin already read this one? It was rather known, so perhaps he had. But then again, he had told Felix he rarely got to visit bookshops, and Don Quixote hadn’t spread that widely yet from Europe. Felix had only got his a few years ago. Maybe he wouldn’t have. It was worth a shot? If he had read it, Felix could keep it himself. After all, it was a nice book. Better than Hamlet, which Felix could see staring at him from the shelf on his eye-level. 

Changbin. Felix wondered how the meeting with his uncle was going. He wondered, if the other boy had got his message. Felix had shoved it to Chan just before they all had exited the ship and descended the plank to the docks, with a quick and quiet “Give this to Changbin, please” as he was too shy to actually give it to Changbin right in front of everyone, especially his father. And he hadn’t got a chance to talk to Changbin privately, so he could only wish that Chan would fulfill his request. He had promised he would, unless the quick quirk of eyebrows and a nod meant something else. 

Felix decided to take the book. He walked towards the counter, but found no one standing behind it. Odd.   
“Excellent choice, youngling. That would be twenty-five.” The voice resonated through the air with no source. Felix knew he should have been scared. But he wasn’t. The voice, the presence wasn’t ominous. She wasn’t threatening. 

Felix placed twenty five coins on the countertop before him. He noticed another pile of coins, most likely Jeongin’s on the countertop as well. Behind the table were more shelves, but not filled with books, but dusty bottles, scrolls of paper, quills, everything.   
“Actually, could I have one inkwell, two quills and a few scrolls of paper as well.”   
“Sure thing, my darling. For five coins, you can have them.” Felix fished another five coins out of his pouch. And then looked in bewilderment, as the inkwell, two quills and a few rolls of paper rose in the air on their own, and slowly flew over to the countertop. With a soft thud they settled in place in front of Felix. He was at a loss of words.   
“Uh. Um. Thank you. Very much.” He could hear Jeongin giggling behind his back.   
“You’re welcome, darling.” The omnipresent voice laughed. Felix gathered all his new belongings, and then he realized that he didn’t have a bag. 

“You can borrow mine. I don’t think I need it, anyway.” Johnny noticed his distress, and with a smile handed his satchel to Felix.   
“Thank you.” Felix mumbled as he shoved everything in the bag. It was empty. With one final glance around the shop they exited through the slightly ajar door back to the bustling main street, momentarily blinded by the sun. 

“There you are, we thought you all had disappeared!”   
“Did you find something interesting?”   
“Come on, let’s go eat!”   
“Yeah, I’m starving!” And once again, Felix let Jeongin pull him along. 

*** 

Felix breathed in the fresh air. The sea was sparkling in the sunset, the sun receding behind the horizon painted everything in a trillion shades of gold, deepening to orange. The waves rippled against the rocks and cliffs of the shoreline, singing their hypnotic songs to Felix. Every now and then Felix could hear birds singing on the trees behind him, and in the forest behind the little city. Some chatter and laughing traveled over the water between him and the town to his ears. The wind was merely a gentle breeze, the cliff which Felix was sitting on still warm from the sunshine. Felix sighed, he felt content. He was completely alone for the first time in ages. 

The horizon seemed to stretch boundless, continuing to infinity. No other ships were in sight, but a small island rose from the sea far away to Felix’s right. The city fell behind him, along with the pier. The town of Charlotte Amalie was tugged safely in a small bay, the cliffs Felix was currently sitting on working as its breakwater. He breathed in slowly, leaning back on the rocks. Johnny’s satchel was beside him, basking in the last rays of sunlight. 

Felix’s body was tingling. His hands felt clammy, his heart was pounding a little too loudly for his liking. Only a few moments ago, he had escaped from a tavern filled with people to the brim with the excuse that he wanted some time just by himself. The crews of Euryale and Medusa had both made quite a clamor in the tavern. Jeongin had nodded at him, the rest of his companion hadn’t even noticed him leaving (though, Minho most likely had, knowing him). Had Jeongin believed that Felix was spending time just alone? Perhaps not. Felix didn’t care. He didn’t want to care. 

But perhaps Felix would end up spending time alone. He hadn’t seen Changbin during their whole visit, nor had he seen Chan. Maybe Changbin hadn’t even got the piece of paper, maybe Chan had lost it. Or perhaps he had got it, but decided to ignore Felix’s request. Or perhaps he didn’t even understand the message. Or perhaps he just didn’t care, or he wanted to spend time with his uncle and his crew. Felix couldn’t really blame him, after all, he rarely saw them. So there was a chance Felix would end up spending his night alone, just as he had told to Jeongin. Which made him a little sad. A little worried. What if Changbin thought it was weird that Felix asked him to -.

“Meet me where the sun sets?” A familiar voice called from behind Felix. The wind had hid Changbin’s footsteps from Felix. A smile spread on his features, his heart missing a few beats before returning harder than before.   
“I wanted to test the amount of your braincells.” Felix patted the space next to him, motioning Changbin to sit down.   
“Did I pass?” Changbin sat down next to Felix, propping his arms behind his back, basking in the last rays of sunshine. The sun was barely above the horizon anymore. It wouldn’t take long for the darkness to engulf the little island.   
“With flying colors.”   
“I’m glad to hear that. How was the city?” 

Felix now realized that he actually didn’t have a plan. He had no idea why he had asked Changbin to join him in the first place, apart from the fact that he wanted to spend time with him. How magnificent! And he hadn’t brought his sword, so. No sparring for tonight. He didn’t have any excuses.  
“Lively. Lovely. Warm and inviting.” Felix answered with honesty.   
“Better than Tortuga?” Changbin asked, Felix could hear the mockery in his voice.   
“Definitely. No one tried to smash a bottle against my skull.” Changbin laughed lightly at him;  
“Tortuga isn’t as bad as you think it is.”   
“I’ll change my mind when I can pass the main street alone at night and not be frightened to my very core.”  
“Alright. Then we will go on a few adventures that are definitely worse than Tortuga and after those you won’t be scared of some drunken scallywags and witches anymore.”   
“Is that a promise?”  
“It definitely is.” Felix giggled, oh, he couldn’t wait for these adventures! 

“How was the meeting with your uncle?” Felix asked. He grabbed a few loose pebbles and one by one, threw them into the waters a few feet from them.   
“Same as usual. Drinking, sharing rumors, all that jazz. My uncle doesn’t really care for me. But it was nice seeing some of his crewmembers.”  
“Is he anything like your father?” Felix threw the last pebble in his hand in the water, before grabbing a few more. Changbin was silent for a few heartbeats.   
“He is. But at the same time he’s not. He’s not as ruthless, and he doesn’t hold grudges for long. He’s more forgiving. But he’s just as strict and just as annoying, and one hell of a captain.” Oh? Felix would have imagined the third Seo to be just as horrible. 

“I mean, I haven’t spent that much time with him, but if Jihyo is still his quartermaster, then he can’t be that bad as a captain or as a person. She’s pretty fiery herself, and won’t stand any sort of bullshit on the ship. I don’t doubt even for a second that she wouldn’t hesitate to raise a mutiny against my uncle if she was unhappy with him.”   
“Wow. She sounds amazing.”   
“She is, though I don’t know her that well either. Chan knows her better.” Felix nodded. He had heard of this Jihyo lady before, and if Chan liked her, then she most likely wasn’t that bad. Chan wasn’t the type to like bad people. 

“But what did you do? I hope you had time to walk around a little more than I did.” Changbin asked from Felix.   
“Yeah, we did. It’s not a big town, we visited a few shops and all that and after walking around for a while we went to eat on a nearby tavern.” Changbin nodded.   
“Were there any nice bookshops around? I wonder if I’d have time to go take a look tomorrow morning.” Felix breathed in, ignored the stir in his stomach that Changbin’s words had caused.   
“Actually.” He reached for the satchel next to him, fumbled the buckle open: “There was one we visited. It was a little frightening and the seller lady wasn’t in this world.”   
“What do you mean?” Changbin sounded amused, and a little curious.   
“I mean that we could hear her voice, but not see her, and when I asked for papers and quills, they just floated over to me instead of, you know, anyone giving them to me.”   
“You mean they flew? Like in the air?”   
“Yes.” Felix fished out the book from the satchel, and perhaps his heart was beating a little too fast, a little too loudly. He turned to Changbin and handed him the book:   
“And I got you this.” 

Changbin looked surprised as he took the book from Felix.   
“Me? You got this for me?” He glanced at Felix, disbelief on his features.   
“Yeah. I thought… I thought you might have not time to visit any bookshops so… I got you this. I hope you haven’t read it yet.” Felix answered with a small voice. He could feel the blush dusting over his nose, painting the tips of his ears pink. For a brief moment he was glad that the colors around them had slowly started to wash out to hues of blue as the sun set further down. 

Changbin ran his fingers delicately over the leathery cover of the book. It was clearly meant to last for a long time, since it was bound in leather. So, fit for Changbin. Fit for life on a ship.   
“Don Quixote… No, I haven’t read this.” He had a small smile curling the corner of his lips. Felix couldn’t help but smile as well, a thousand butterflies taking flight in his stomach.   
“Oh! That’s great. It’s a good book. At least I enjoyed it when I read it, so, I figured you might, too!”   
“How much was it?” A little crease appeared in between Changbin’s brows. Felix was taken aback by the question:  
“What do you mean?”   
“How much was it? I’ll pay you back, books are expensive.” Felix nearly huffed, how dared this boy ask such questions! 

“Nothing.”  
“It costed nothing?”   
“No, it costed money, but I’m not taking it. No need to pay me back.” Felix crossed his arms on his chest.   
“But I want to. And I have more than you, so it’s okay.” Changbin pouted, and oh god, how Felix wanted to kiss that pout away from his face!   
“No. Changbin, it’s a gift.”   
“A gift.”  
“Yes. It’s a thank you for putting up with me for so long.”   
“There’s nothing to put up with you in the first place.” 

Felix’s blush deepened a hundred shades at Changbin’s mumble.   
“I-I’m serious. It’s a gift. I wanted to buy it for you, since I know how much you like books.” Felix voice died out towards the end. This was not how this was supposed to go.   
“Okay, okay. Thank you.” Changbin turned back to the book, flipped through a few pages. Felix took a deep breath. 

“Since you have Johnny’s satchel with you, can you hold this until we get back. I didn’t bring my own. You said you have read this before?” Changbin turned back to Felix as he delicately closed the book and handed it over to him. Felix took it and quickly stuffed it back inside the satchel.   
“Yeah.”   
“But you said you don’t like reading?”   
“I like reading if I’m not forced to do that. And I read that before Sir Ainsley forced me to. So, yes, it’s a good book. It’s funny. And it will make you think.”   
“So you like things when nobody is telling you to do them.”   
“Yes.”   
“I suppose you also hated cleaning up your room when you were told to do so?”   
“I never had to clean up my room.” 

Changbin fell silent for a second:  
“Oh. Right. You had maids to do that for you.” Felix couldn’t help but grin.   
“I did. But I also hated it when my father told me to get down the apple trees on our backyard when I had just reached for the highest branch. And I hated that I was told to go riding around the island when I had just got the idea to go riding around the island, and then I didn’t want to go riding around the island anymore.   
“Can’t argue with that logic.” Changbin sneered. Felix pushed him lightly.   
“You can not! I’m very logical.” Felix laughed. 

The darkness slowly, but surely crept up all around them. Stars lit up in the night sky, the moon slowly rising from her slumber above the waterline. The torches in the town were lit, drawing long shadows on the streets, but the bustle never died out. The city was still as lively as it was during the day. Laughter, chatter, yells, now accompanied with occasional rowdy music emanating from taverns and pubs. It made Felix feel safe. That, and Changbin’s presence next to him. 

They talked about the wide world ahead of them. They talked about Changbin’s past, his travels, how he had met up with his friends, how he saw the world. They talked about things that Felix had learned on the ship, things that he had already known, his family, his everything. They talked about the little things in the world, they talked about Eric, they talked about Felix’s past. Anything and everything. Hours passed, or perhaps minutes, Felix didn’t know, but the darkness around them deepened bit by bit, but never too much. Moonlight bathed the world around them in soft hues of blue and silver. Changbin looked breathtaking. 

“I mean… As you have probably guessed, my father really wasn’t the best father out there… He never was.” Felix admitted. The cliff under him was getting a little cold, so he shuffled a bit closer to Changbin.   
“I could guess that much.” Changbin mused.   
“And I just… you know, I still have this little fear at the back of my head that I still have to see him again some day. I just want to let go of it, but I can’t. I still… I don’t know. I know he would be able to do that, sail with Victory to look for me, if he really wanted to. I’m his only heir, and I know that he sees this whole thing as a threat to his massive pride, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he at least attempted to look for me around the Caribbean. And I fear that. I really do. I really like it here.” Felix mumbled. He didn’t know what he was really talking about, but somehow, they had ended up talking about Felix’s family.   
“I miss my mother, but I don’t miss my father at all. I mean… I really can’t miss the person that has hated me for most of my life. I can’t miss the person that so clearly doesn’t want me to be who I am.”   
“And you don’t have to miss him, I wouldn’t either.” Changbin muttered.   
“Or I don’t know if he hated me but, you know, it certainly didn’t feel loving when he hit me every time I did something wrong. Which to him, was nearly everything I did.” 

Felix swallowed. He hadn’t ever said that out loud. He had never mentioned that his father, throughout these years, had masked his abuse for loving and “raising a wild child”. But now that he actually voiced it out loud, he could hear it, how deeply wrong it was.  
“He abused you?” Changbin whispered. He sounded… mad? Felix nodded. All of a sudden, he got scared. What if Changbin was mad at Felix for admitting it? Or what if, what if-   
“I’m going to gut him if he ever dares to come across you ever again.” Changbin spit through his teeth. He took a rock from next to him and flung it into the sea before them with vigor, as if to emphasize his words.   
“And I’m going to make sure that our next travels will lead us far away from Caribbean, I don’t want you to have to see him ever in your life again. I promise that.” 

Felix didn’t know what to say, tears were pricking his eyes, he felt warm. Why on earth had he been scared of Changbin’s reaction in the first place?   
“But before that, I’m going to get us our own ship.”   
“Huh?” Felix turned to face the other boy. He had a wild look on his face. Felix quickly swiped a lone tear away from his cheek by masking it as if he was swiping his hair away from his face.   
“Your father is a total scumbag, mine is just annoying. And he expects too much from me. I mean. He doesn’t abuse me at least… not physically, but he still manages to be an ass at times.” 

This was new information to Felix, and he didn’t know if he should push it or not.   
“Chan is a bit bored of him, too. I don’t know, you haven’t been on Euryale for long so you prolly haven’t noticed, but his behavior has changed a lot during this past year.”  
“Oh?” Felix huddled an inch closer again. He should have brought a thicker shirt with him, even if the night wasn’t cold in any from.   
“A little over a year ago, he got a prediction from a fortune teller than he doesn’t have much time left, that there’s a sickness in him that can’t be cured. That’s what caused his whole revenge-spree and him to reach for stars and plan huge heists. Now, I don’t believe in any of those predictions in any form, they’re bullshit, but my father, even if he says that he doesn’t believe in them, does the exact opposite. Ever since he got that prediction, he’s been… pushing me further and further. He wants me to be the next captain, because he thinks he’s going to die soon. And that’s why… that’s why I have been so distant lately.” 

“You mean… you have been distant to… others?” Because he sure as hell wasn’t distant from Felix.   
“Yeah. Especially Jisung. My father has been pressuring me all this time to get rid of any too-close friends because they apparently will cloud my ability to make decisions when I’m going to be a captain. I tried to ignore him, but he… threatened to throw Jisung overboard a few months ago. I did what I could, but it wasn’t enough. Then my father threatened to leave him in Tortuga before we came to get you, if I didn’t cut ties with him, because as you know… we used to be thick as thieves.” 

And now, Felix understood everything. He understood, why the others had told him that Changbin was distant, more than before, when he had first arrived on Euryale. Now he understood, why Jisung was so mad at him (though, he had had a hunch of it). To Jisung, it seemed like Felix was the reason Changbin had cut all ties from him. Jisung most likely thought Felix had stolen Changbin from him. Oh god. Oh dear lord.   
“And now… he still isn’t happy. He keeps on teaching me how to be a ‘good captain’, how to be cold and make ‘good decisions’. And I just. He’s the only family I have, you know. So at the same time I’m sick of this, but I’m also afraid that he’s going to be disappointed in me. I don’t want to disappoint him. He’s always been distant as a father, but… at least he showed me some sort of respect and pride in me when I was a child and succeeded in doing something. And. I don’t know. Now he’s just disappointed in me no matter what I do and I’m never enough for him.” 

Felix was at a loss for words. He had had no idea that this… thing ran so deep. That Changbin’s pain was so deep.   
“You know you’re enough, right?” Felix softly began. He took Changbin’s hand in his, gently stroked the back of Changbin’s hand with his thumb. The boy was sitting next to him a little hunched, gazing at the sea before them.   
“You don’t need your father’s approval to be enough. You are enough, and I know that I don’t know much about sailing or being a captain or anything like that, but I know you’re doing a good job. Your father is just blind if he doesn’t see that.” Changbin nodded, but he didn’t say anything. The little waver of his shoulders gave Felix enough. The little sniffle he let out gave Felix enough. 

“I just… me and Chan. We had this thought that… maybe during our next stop, before the next big travel we will leave. Chan is tired of my father, too, he keeps pushing him to do things he doesn’t want to and gives contradictory orders and… I don’t know. I hate this. I hate this situation we’re in. I just want it to be over.” Felix nodded, Changbin’s voice was quiet, but he wasn’t finished yet;  
“And I’m afraid all the time that… I’m afraid that he’s going to notice that you and I, we have… got close ever since you were brought on this ship. I’m afraid that he’s going to tell me to cut ties with you, too, and I just can’t do that. I don’t want to do that. But I know that I won’t have the power to go against him, either. So if he tells me to do that, I won’t know what to do.” 

“And I just… Felix, I’m not really that used to getting things, I’m not used to the world giving in to me and letting me have something good in my life for a long time. And I. I fear, every day, when you are not with me, that some force of this world is going to take you away from me.” 

“I don’t want to lose you. Not you, too. I know I won’t be able to handle that. You are a gift, from heaven above, you mean the world to me, and I don’t want to lose you. I can’t afford to lose you.”

Felix was speechless.   
“I-I don’t want to lose you either…” He stuttered. Changbin turned to face him, his hand still in Felix’s. Felix could see one lone tear rolling down his cheek, but before he had time to wipe it away, Changbin continued. His expression was intense, he was staring right inside Felix’s very soul with those ocean eyes of his, glimmering in the moonlight. 

“No, Felix. You don’t get it.

I can’t lose you.” 

Felix didn’t know if it was the expression on Changbin’s face, or his last words finally settling into his brain, or the way Changbin squeezed his hand, but he finally understood, what Changbin meant. A thousand thunderbolts ran through him, and he gasped as he finally comprehended what Changbin had said. For a brief second he could only hear his heart in his ears, the blood in his veins and Changbin’s voice, repeating the same words, you are a gift, from the heaven above, you mean the world to me, and I don’t want to lose you, over and over again. 

“I. I.” Felix wheezed out. For a solid second he could see the panic in Changbin’s eyes.   
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the sa-“   
“You matter the world to me, too.” Felix finally got out of his mouth. 

“You do. I don’t think I would have survived on this ship if it weren’t for you. You have been there for me when I have been on my lowest, you have put up with me even if I was really annoying in the beginning and I really, really, really care about you. You matter the world to me, too. And I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you. I can’t afford to lose you, Changbin.” 

A silence fell for what felt like an eternity, but, in reality, was only a few heartbeats. Then Changbin grabbed Felix by his collar and pulled him close, and for a fraction of a second his breath ghosted against Felix’s skin, and then, he pressed his lips against Felix’s. 

It was brief, merely a soft touch, but during that Felix squeezed Changbin’s hand harder and his whole being was set ablaze, from head to toe. He felt like bursting.

Changbin pulled back, only by a few inches, and in his eyes, Felix saw everything. His everything. And then he circled his arm around Changbin’s neck and pulled him for another kiss. The moment their lips pressed against each other’s, Felix’s eyes fluttered shut, and he melted into the touch, he was like molten lava in Changbin’s arms. The hand that had dragged Felix close slowly snaked its way around Felix’s waist, holding him tight. 

Changbin’s lips were pillowy soft, a little chapped, a little dry, yet still they were heaven for Felix. Changbin smelled like the ocean and old books, he smelled like everything Felix had craved for. His lips massaged against Felix’s in a perfect rhythm. A sudden boldness took over Felix, and he quickly pushed Changbin back a bit, before climbing to sit on his lap, never breaking the contact. His hand found its way to Changbin’s black locks, and oh dear, how soft they were, just as Felix had imagined. Changbin was everything Felix had ever dared to dream of, and more. 

Breathless, Changbin was the first one to break the contact. He pressed his nose against Felix’s, eyes still closed, a little smile playing on his lips. Felix giggled, his heart was about to burst, he had never felt joy this deep and thrilling. He was on fire, and he was ecstatic. A fool. A lovesick fool. That’s what he was. Changbin hugged him closer, pressed his face against Felix’s neck. 

“I can’t lose you.” Changbin whispered, barely audible.   
“I can’t lose you either.” Felix whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're here.... we are finally here..... i can Not believe this... your honor they KISSED!!!! they are in LOVE!!!!!!! i have waited to publish this chapter for so long! and WHEW i may or may have not teared up myself while writing this (i hope at least some of y'all did, too). also! i noticed that this fic has passed 10k hits and that is ENORMOUS i can not thank you all enough for checking this fic out, it means the world to me!! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)  
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	30. 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! If you still haven't, I'd advice you to subscribe to the series that Oceanbound is connected on, Stories Sung in the Sunken Sailor's Inn! There might be something dropping there in a week or two, and by subcribing you will be notified of that through email if you have you ao3 notifs on !!

The rest of the night went by with little kisses, giggles, traces of fingers against each other’s skin. Felix memorized every little scar on Changbin he could reach, softly kissed every single one of those on his face and murmured sweet nothings to his ear. He was completely engulfed in Changbin. Changbin was soft, he was serene, he was everything Felix needed to ground himself into the moment. The moon blinked upon them, bathing them in the soft blue hues, the town behind them fell quiet with every breath of the nightly wind. Changbin tugged his jacket over Felix’s shivering shoulders as the ripples against the cliffs lulled him into a soft haze. 

As the sphere above them turned and painted the sky in the deepest tint of violet, Changbin gently pressed a kiss on Felix’s temple.  
“I think we should get back.” he whispered. Felix stirred in his embrace; his eyes fluttered open. It took a second for him to adjust in the dimness of the dawn.  
“Yeah.” He mumbled, he must have not been asleep for long, he knew they had sat on those cliffs the whole night, talking, kissing, holding hands. Just… enjoying each other. Felix had thought the night would get cold, but he was feeling warm. He was feeling warm all over. 

Changbin stood up, pulling Felix along with him. He adjusted the coat over Felix’s shoulders a bit. Felix grabbed the satchel next to him before entwining his fingers with Changbin’s. The air of the early morning felt humid against Felix’s skin, making him shudder a little. That made Changbin pull him a bit closer as they started their way back to the ship. Felix hoped everyone else was already asleep. 

The town was silent, apart from some drunken yells emanating from the small streets far away from the pair. The birds were still quiet, but the silence didn’t last for long. As soon as the sky turned to a lighter shade of purple, Felix could hear the first note coming from the coconut trees close to them. They weren’t walking fast, more of just strolling along the shoreline, careful not to step on any seashells. They remained quiet, there was nothing to say right now. Felix liked this. No, he loved this. He loved the way he could enjoy Changbin’s presence without the pressure of keeping on the conversation. Felix was content. He was happy. He felt like he was on the top of the world. 

The dock planks thumped softly as they walked towards Euryale. Changbin’s hand was soft and warm, and it fit in Felix’s just perfectly. Just right, like it was designed to do that. The gangway was down, no one was standing as a nightguard, a little surprisingly. Euryale was quiet, Felix figured most of the crew were probably staying in the many inns of the town. Before Felix had time to say anything, he could feel Changbin letting go of his hand and wrapping him in a tender hug from behind.  
“I don’t want to go yet.” The captain’s son whispered against the back of Felix’s neck.  
“Me neither. But the sun will be up soon.” Felix whispered back, leaning against the touch.  
“Mmhm.” 

For a moment, maybe two they stayed like that, in the middle of the main deck, until a bird screeching on the closeby tree woke them from the trance. The violet was slowly turning pink, the horizon getting lighter with every breath. Felix shook Changbin’s jacket off of his shoulder and handed it over to him.  
“You could have kept that.” Changbin pouted.  
“I already have your shirt.” And oh, how Felix would have loved to keep that jacket, but he knew that he most likely shouldn’t. Changbin took the jacket and hung it over his shoulder. Felix handed him the book from the satchel as well, Changbin propped it underneath his arm, against his side. 

“I’m going to go now.” Felix yawned. He didn’t want to. But he also didn’t want to explain to everyone why he had spent the whole night with Changbin, as it would have been even odder if he had spent it in his cabin. Or it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he just didn’t know how Changbin felt about it. Felix would have loved to scream his feelings towards Changbin at the world from the top of his lungs, he certainly did not care who knew about them. But Changbin’s father most likely did. So perhaps it was best to lay low.  
“I am also going to go now.” Changbin mused.  
“So, good night.” Felix pressed a chaste kiss on Changbin’s cheek.  
“Good night.” Changbin mumbled. 

Felix turned away from Changbin and took a few steps towards the crew’s quarters. On his fifth step, he could feel a hand curling around his own and spinning him back to where he had come from. Then, Changbin pressed his lips against Felix’s once more. Changbin poured his everything into it, all the hundred good nights he hadn’t told Felix yet. Felix wrapped his arms around Changbin, melting into the kiss once again. God, how he would have loved to stay like this forever. 

When they finally parted, Felix felt breathless. Swept off his feet. A hundred butterflies.  
“Good night.” Changbin murmured against Felix’s lips, pecking them once more.  
“Good night.” 

*** 

When Felix’s eyes finally fluttered open for the second time of the day, all of everything that had happened last night finally settled into his brain. He shot up from his mattress, only to find the forecastle empty. He could hear people scuttling over the main deck, yelling, Chan commanding to take this here and that there and where is Mark, has anyone seen Mark, is he on the ship, can we leave soon. A deep blush flushed over Felix’s face, and he dropped himself back to the mattress, turning over and groaning into the pillow. Oh my god. Oh dear lord. What in the seven heavens had happened last night? 

Felix felt like screaming, so he screamed, right into the pillow, muffling all the sounds. Then he turned back over, stared at the ceiling for a good three minutes. 

Changbin liked him. Changbin actually, truly, definitely liked him. He reciprocated Felix’s feelings. Changbin liked him. Changbin liked him, Felix Lee, a former son of the governor of Nassau Charles Lee and now a pirate. Changbin liked him. And he liked Changbin. 

God, how he liked him! Felix buried his face in his hands, rubbing his temples, before a wild smile spread on his features. Changbin liked him. They had kissed, and Felix didn’t have that much experience on any things related to love, but he was quite sure the kiss had been one of those all of the love stories talked about. Perfect. Passionate. Spellbinding. Maybe a little fumbling and tumbling and nose-bumping and all that but perfect. Because Changbin was perfect. Changbin liked him, and Felix liked Changbin, and this was all too good to be true and Felix had to pinch himself. 

So he pinched himself, and it hurt, so Felix wasn’t dreaming. Or maybe he had dreamed about the whole last night? Maybe it was just a dream. It had to be, there was no way Felix was so lucky that Changbin actually liked him back. Softly Felix touched his lips, finding them a little chapped. No. Not a dream. Last night had been very real. 

This all was just so surreal. It hadn’t even been two months that he had been kidnapped on this ship, and during those two months he had found a bunch of new friends, he had sailed across the Caribbean and enjoyed every single minute of it – well, not every, but most of it – and found someone. Someone who could understand him better than the whole entire world. Someone whose heart was in synch with his. Someone Felix would have been ready to travel through the entire world for and with. 

“Mark! Fucking finally, we thought you would leave us!” Felix could hear Johnny yelling.  
“Everyone’s here! Cut the ties!” And Felix knew they were about to leave Charlotte Amalie behind. If he was being honest, this trip had been a success, in more ways than one. He hadn’t had to face Bang Yongguk. He hadn’t had to face any scary people threatening his life. He hadn’t had to face the other Captain Seo. So. A pretty good time. And then the whole night and it was more than just a pretty good time, Felix was quite sure he would never have as good of a time ever again, and then the door abruptly opened and Jeongin stuck his head in. 

“Are you still sleeping?”  
“No.” Felix mumbled. He wished the blush on his face wasn’t as visible as he felt like it was.  
“Good. We’re leaving, the captain’s going to do his daily scheduled harangue soon.”  
“Okay.” Felix threw his blanket off and rose to his feet. He tried to sweep the untamed orange locks to their respective places, but knew he didn’t succeed. Jeongin looked at him a little weirdly.  
“What?” Felix asked, and sure enough, he knew exactly why Jeongin was looking at him like that. Of course he knew.  
“Nothing. You’re just… glowing.” 

Another rosy hue swept over Felix’s features.  
“O-okay.”  
“I suppose your little night stroll was fun?” Oh come on! No secrets on this ship, huh?  
“…Y-yes. It was.” Felix stuttered. He grabbed the satchel he had borrowed from Johnny.  
“We just saw you sitting there with Changbin last night when we got back, so, just to warn you, everyone knows.” And oh, how Felix prayed that everyone meant their friends and not the whole entire crew. 

“All hands on deck!” A yell resonated from the open door. Jeongin waited for Felix to approach the door before closing it after him. The sun momentarily blinded him, and Felix had to raise his hand to create a cover over his eyes just to see something. Jeongin took Felix by his arm and dragged him near the bannister on the right side of the ship, where all of their friends were standing. Felix saw Johnny and handed the satchel over to him, mumbling a thank you. He didn’t dare to meet anyone’s eyes. 

And soon enough, Captain Seo walked out of his cabin and walked up to the front, in front of the helm. He leaned against the handrail, looking powerful as ever. The things Changbin had told him last night returned to Felix’s mind, and now he could see it. The little wrinkles of worry on the captain’s face. The restless eyes. The way he fiddled the buttons of his longcoat. Captain Seo wasn’t what he once had been, it was clear to Felix now. He was a shadow of the power he once had exuded. 

And then Changbin walked from behind Captain Seo to stand next to him. Felix had to contain himself from gasping out loud. Changbin’s eyes immediately found his, and a small smirk played on his lips. He winked at Felix before crossing his arms on his chest. The golden rings and necklaces glimmered in the sunlight, wind swept his dark hair off of his forehead, and Felix felt like melted butter. 

“Good afternoon, sailors!” Afternoon? How long had Felix even slept? The crew around Felix mumbled their greetings to their captain. Changbin’s eyes still didn’t leave Felix’s.  
“As you all know, we are now headed for Tortuga. We are rather low on supplies, so we will be sailing fast. The town of Charlotte Amalie unfortunately didn’t have much to give us apart from food and water, so we will be avoiding battles by taking unpopular routes towards Tortuga.” The captain’s voice was rough, loud, it commanded for attention. 

“Some of you all have questioned me of the rumors that have been going around the past month. They are true.” The clamor around Felix rose a little, and he finally tore his eyes away from Changbin to look at the captain.  
“There really is a French vessel sailing around after pirate ships, and they are fearless and ruthless, sparing no men. They leave nothing but blood, splinters and smithereens after them. My brother saw their ship in front of Aruba a few weeks ago, they were attacking a small pirate ship. I need you all to be extra cautious. Any ships sailing our way need to be noticed. Triple the nightguards. Be careful. We do not have much cannonballs and gunpowder left, since we couldn’t get as much as we needed from Tortuga. As you all know, we also lost many men during the heist of El Salvador, bless their souls, so we will be avoiding fights at all costs.” 

“However, if they happen to reach us, be prepared to fight at all times, and be prepared to fight with all you have got. Get the swords ready, sharpen the blades. Make sure you are at your best condition to battle at all times. In case of a fight, show no mercy. Those filthy French shall not take this ship down. Am I clear?”  
“Aye, captain!” The crew yelled in unison.  
“Am I clear?” He yelled with a louder voice.  
“Aye, captain!” The crew yelled again, even louder.  
“Good. Rest. Eat. Hope for the best. Full sails towards Tortuga!” 

*** 

No one asked anything. No one said anything. Changbin sat through all of the meals next to Felix, a little too close to be just friends. No one seemed to notice, except Felix knew that they did. He could see it, in the all-too-knowing gazes, light smirks every time Felix kept staring Changbin a little too long, every time Changbin’s fingers accidentally brushed against Felix’s (except that they weren’t accidents). Felix was glad none of his friends said anything. Just like with Hyunjin and Seungmin, they most likely waited for the two of them to say something. And if they already knew, was there even a reason to say anything? 

It made Felix comfortable. They were new to this – not in a thousand years would have Felix expected to find happiness sailing over the ocean waves, not to mention he had got there against his own will. Felix and Changbin hadn’t spoken of this whole ordeal much, they hadn’t had time in between the little and not-so-little kisses and giggles and more kisses and intense kisses that left Felix breathless. They had, however agreed that it was better if the captain didn’t find out, at least for now. But Felix didn’t feel like rushing and he knew that neither did Changbin. They had the whole world ahead of them. They had all of the time. All of it. There was no rush. They were what they were, and it made Felix feel content. It made him happy. 

And to think Changbin had told him weeks ago that he didn’t believe in love. Bullshit. Felix knew enough of romance to see what a person in love looked like, and Changbin currently was the embodiment of that. And Felix, with his rosy cheeks knew very well that he was, too, as he once again was a little too deep in the ocean eyes and Chan had to cough to get Felix’s attention to ask him whether he was ready for his shift as a look-out for the evening. Not for the whole night, thank heavens, just until the sun would set. 

Love, it was really a curious thing. Felix had had his fair share of all things “love”, except that to him it had always seemed unreachable. There hadn’t been much of that love the novel writers always raved about present in his life. He had always known that he would have to marry someone at some point, and that marriage would most likely be loveless, just as his parents’ had pretty much been (or at least that’s what Felix had seen). Love was something that only existed in those novels Margaret so much loved to read. Or, rather, romantic love was something that only existed in those novels. Romantic love was that something that Felix had believed he would never get to experience. 

And then Felix’s eyes once again fell on the boy next to him. It had been days. And it wasn’t even that long that Felix finally realized that he was crushing on him (because, honestly, he had never really experienced any crushes, at least not so intense ones). It had only been days, and somehow Felix felt like he had spent an eternity with Changbin, and at the same time he had spent only a blink of an eye with him. Felix couldn’t wait for the days to come, all of the weeks, months, years he would get to spend with Changbin, sailing across the seas, hunting for treasure. It had been only a few days, and if Changbin would have asked to jump after him into the feisty waters down below, Felix would have done that in a heartbeat. That’s how deep in he was. For a brief moment Felix wondered if this was how Seungmin and Hyunjin felt as well. 

Felix glanced around him. Jisung still didn’t talk to him and Changbin, but he wasn’t as cold as he had been. Felix should really try to talk to him tonight, if he would still be awake when Felix would get off his shift. Minho was sitting next to him, listening to Chan speak. Everyone was sitting around the table, all eight of them. All seven of his friends. Felix really cherished these moments the most. Seungmin was sitting next to Felix on his other side, with Hyunjin to his side, unsurprisingly. They weren’t acting as lovey-dovey as usual, which was most likely due to Chan’s “okay, we get it, there are two couples around this table, can you now please focus on the topic at hand!” yesterday evening. He had been smiling when he had said that, but the blush on Felix’s face had still been evident. A couple. Wow. 

“Felix!” Jackson called out from the door leading to the kitchen. Felix stood up from his seat, he felt Changbin’s hand slide off the small of his back where it had been resting the whole dinner.  
“See you.” he quickly mouthed to Felix, to which Felix answered with a soft nod. 

And then, the crow’s nest called to him. 

*** 

Before the sun had time to completely set down and paint the sky in a million hues, a blanket of heavy-looking clouds covered it completely. The air smelled of rain. Felix breathed it in, the wind swayed the sails down below his feet. The mast moved along with the waves, but the movement wasn’t too harsh, it made Felix calm. If he had been tired, he was sure the swaying would have lulled him to a deep sleep, like a child in a cradle. He turned around, holding a spyglass in his hand, the other one wrapped around the flagpole. He hoped the clouds didn’t mean that a storm was approaching them. 

Felix had seen a few ships during his shift, but all of them had passed by them, far in the horizon. He watched as the crew on the decks lit up torches and lanterns to light up their way in the darkness. He could make out the outlines of Jeongin and Hyunjin on the deck above the forecastle, Chan was on the helm and Jisung was helping Johnny on the upper quarter deck. Felix sighed and pushed the strands of hair away from his eyes as the wind pushed them. 

Soon enough, the bustle on the deck started to die out, most of the crew either going to sleep or descending to the gun deck to play that same damn game they had played for most of the nights Felix had been on the ship. Well, one couldn’t really blame them, it wasn’t like there was anything new to do on the ship. Better spend the time with friends than alone. Felix could see some crewmembers still remaining on the deck, as the night guards changed shifts, and in a few minutes, Jae’s head popped up from below the crow’s nest. 

“Evening!” Jae sounded cheerful, as usual.  
“Evening.” Felix handed him the spyglass.  
“Easy sail?” Felix swung his leg over the handrail of the crow’s nest before stepping on the shrouds below it.  
“Pretty much. I think it might start raining tonight.” He answered, Jae looked a little displeased at his answer. He shuddered at the thought of rain;  
“Alright. Good night, sleep well.”  
“Good night!” Felix smiled at the man before quickly descending the shrouds back to the main deck. He didn’t know that much of Jae, so he was still a little awkward with him. They didn’t talk much, just some everyday stuff when they were doing chores together. 

Just as Felix was ready to wonder his next move, whether he should go to sleep or bother Changbin or try to find Jisung, a raindrop fell on the tip of his nose. Ah, just as he had expected. And then he heard a soft voice, calling for him close to the kitchen door;  
“Felix!” 

Felix spun around, a smile stretching over his features. He followed the voice through the ajar door next to the one leading to the kitchen – right into Changbin’s arms. Before Felix had time to say anything, the door was pushed shut and Changbin’s lips found his. Felix’s hands immediately found their way around Changbin’s waist, pressing him close.  
“How was the shift?” Changbin mumbled when they finally parted. Felix’s heart grew three sizes.  
“Boring without you.” Felix answered, truthfully. With Changbin his shift would have gone by a lot quicker, but Felix also knew he would have been incredibly distracted, so perhaps it was for the best that Changbin hadn’t climbed up with him (unlike yesterday evening). 

Changbin took Felix by his hand and opened the door to his own cabin. It was slightly less messy than the last time Felix had seen it. He noticed the book he had bought for Changbin on the nightstand next to his bed, with a scrap of paper tugged in between its pages. The doors to the balcony were slightly open, the curtains swaying in the little wind. The room was lit with candles and lanterns on every single surface they could be put on. Changbin finally let go of Felix’s hand to lit a candle the wind had blown out. 

Felix had never seen the sight from the balcony, so he opened the balcony door slightly more and stepped out. It wasn’t a big balcony, but just enough to fit the two of them there, and perhaps a third person, too. The brown handrails were decorated with golden swirls and bolts. Above him was the captain’s balcony, keeping Changbin’s balcony safe from rain. The sea was so much closer to him than it was when he had sat on the stern ornament of the ship with Changbin. The memory deepened the smile on Felix’s face. Soon, he felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around him from behind. 

Changbin didn’t need to talk for Felix to know what he was feeling. They hadn’t really had time to spend time together today, the captain had busied Changbin with some stupid ass plans of his, apparently he was thinking of going after that treasure in Sharkbone Island. The one that no one had ever been able to find the map for. Felix watched the foamy trail the ship left after it as the sky finally ripped apart and rain poured down. He leaned the back of his head against Changbin’s shoulder. He could feel Changbin sighing, pressing a peck against his shoulder. Felix was comfortable. He was content. He was home. 

“How are the plans going?” Felix quietly asked.  
“They’re not. He’s getting more paranoid with every mile we get closer to Tortuga. Don’t know why. He won’t tell me. He bothers Minho all the time to give him predictions of the future, which he can’t give since he’s a witch and not a fortune teller.” Changbin mumbled. Felix nodded. He dropped the topic at that, he didn’t want to push Changbin to talk about it, even though he knew it would most likely help him. Just letting it out, that’s what always helped Felix, at least. Of course, he didn’t know Changbin to that point yet, they hadn’t known each other for years, so Felix didn’t know yet if that was the best thing for Changbin to ease stress. Perhaps it was something else. Felix would find out along the way. 

Yes, Changbin knew that Felix knew of Minho. Minho had never directly told Changbin anything, but the captain had most likely told Changbin. Or well, Changbin had made some great guesses months ago when the captain had arrived from Tortuga with a new boy with doe-like, black eyes and told the crew that this was their new deckboy, even though the captain wasn’t supposed to hire any new crewmembers, since their boat was pretty much full. It took that, and one very unfortunate event which resulted in Minho nearly setting Changbin’s hair on fire, that Changbin found out the truth. Not that he had been surprised, after all, his father had wanted a witch on the boat ever since his brother had found one. They were apparently useful in battles and communicating through a crystal ball. 

Changbin tugged Felix by the hem of his shirt, he was getting cold. The wind had picked up a bit, but since Jeongin had said nothing to anyone, there most likely wouldn’t be a storm. Just some heavy wind and rain. Good for them, since the wind was on their side and they could reach Tortuga faster.  
“Have you talked about your plan?” Felix asked Changbin as he followed him inside. He was referring to the one the captain had no idea about.  
“We have. Since we will be staying for quite some time in Tortuga, that would be a great chance to snoop around and inquire if there are any spare vessels left. Broken ones would work, too, we have the money to repair a ship if that is needed.” Felix nodded.  
“I’ll help you.”  
“Good. We need everyone we can get.” Changbin had a little smile tugging the corner of his mouth. 

Changbin pushed the balcony door close and sat down on the sofa in the middle of the room. The table in front of it had books scattered all over it with pieces of paper and quills. Changbin pulled Felix to sit next to him on the sofa, wrapped an arm around him and snuggled him close. Felix let him do that, pressing his head against the other boy’s shoulder.  
“Aren’t you being a little touchy-feely today.” Felix mumbled. He didn’t see it, but he knew Changbin’s ears had tinted pink.  
“Am I not allowed to snuggle my boyfriend?” 

“Boyfriend?” Felix, after a heartbeat of silence. They hadn’t really spoken of this. Changbin realized it a little too late;  
“Y-yeah, I, I mean it would be… very nice to call you my boyfriend. Since it’s, um, you know, even though I have liked you for quite some time already, it’s still a little early to call you my husband, don’t you think?” Changbin’s rambling made Felix burst into a fit of giggles. The mention of a ‘husband’ made his heart ache in an odd way.  
“Yeah. Okay, we can be boyfriends if that’s what you would like.” Felix lifted his head, turned to Changbin and pressed a little kiss on his cheek. The flush on Changbin’s face made him absolutely adorable! 

“Tell me more. How long have you liked me?”  
“That’s… uhh… well, I was intrigued ever since you decided to challenge the captain and his authority, but… I don’t know, I think I realized I had a thing for you back when we were sitting on the stern during the night.” Jesus! That was such a long time ago!  
“I thought you hated me after that conversation!” Felix was very, very surprised.  
“So did I. And then I realized that the flame going through me every time I saw you wasn’t hate.” Changbin’s blush deepened.  
“We had barely spoken back then!”  
“And? Do you think I didn’t hear how you were like from the others? How Chan always praised how clever you are and quick to learn? How you, despite being scared and new to all this, accepted a whole different view of the world in a matter of few weeks. I was very, very intrigued right from the beginning. And then, on that night you actually had the guts to challenge the way I saw the world.” The arm wrapped around Felix tightened a little. The flicker of the candle danced against Changbin’s skin, accentuating the scars on his face. Felix wanted to kiss them. 

“And then you told me you didn’t even believe in love?” Felix pouted. He remembered that conversation all too well, he had repeated it a few too many times in his head after he had realized he held feelings for the boy in front of him.  
“I did. I was trying to convince myself that the thing I had for you was hatred and love didn’t exist.”  
“…What a realist you are.” Felix giggled.  
“Hey! I am! And a little bit of a romanticist, but only for you.”  
“What about the time after Rum Point and before the heist? The one you caught me eavesdropping?” Felix took Changbin’s free hand, entwined their fingers together.  
“I was worried. I get mad if I worry too much. I’m sorry about that.” Felix pecked Changbin’s lips;  
“Nothing to be sorry for, I would have yelled at myself, too.” 

Felix hadn’t really thought about the heist that much lately. The Spanish boy still appeared in his dreams every now and then, but his appearance had become more… bearable. Felix now knew that even though he had been the one to stick his blade through the boy, he had had no other choices. It would have been either him or the boy. It ended up being the boy, and that’s how it was.  
“Do you miss her? Lyanna, I mean?” Felix’s voice was quiet, close to a whisper. Changbin nodded. Felix pulled him in his embrace, pressing his forehead against his shoulder.  
“She was closest to a mother I had.” Felix could hear the slight tremble in Changbin’s voice. It was still a sensitive topic, no wonder.  
“But at the end of the day, this is what being a pirate is. Losing and winning. I miss her, but I’ve let go of her. She’s in the wind and waves now.” Felix nodded, gently caressing Changbin’s back. That was such a pretty thought. All of the loved lost ones still remained around them, just not in the way they would have preferred to. 

“And I do have a new teacher now, and I know for a fact she would approve of you, so it’s going to be okay.” Changbin leaned back, sniffled a little. Felix knew he tried to cover it up, so before Changbin had time, he gently swiped the tear from his cheek. It was okay to cry. Felix didn’t judge.  
“It’s going to be okay.” Felix whispered and pressed a chaste kiss on Changbin’s lips. 

The kiss deepened when Changbin’s hand found its way to Felix’s hair. Felix scrambled up, threw his other leg over Changbin and pulled himself to sit on his lap. Again. He was quite sure this was his favorite place to be nowadays. When they finally parted, Changbin pressed a trail of little pecks to Felix’s cheek, jawline, gently caressing his neck. Felix whimpered, just a little. And then whined, when Changbin pulled back.  
“How about you? When did you realize you had feelings for me?” That sorrow that had just moments ago pressed Changbin’s features down, had now turned to curiosity, laced with a little bit of mischief.  
“You remember that night when I suddenly stormed away from the dinner table? That was the exact point when I realized.” And oh, how lost Felix had been.  
“Then? That wasn’t even long ago!” True, it had been only a little over a week.  
“I’m pretty sure I had a thing for you far longer, though. I just realized then and there, but… you had made me feel warm quite a lot of times before that.” 

Changbin looked proud of himself. Felix wanted to smack that smug grin off of his face, but instead he kissed the boy once more. He just couldn’t get enough of him, could he? No. The rain outside thrummed against the roof and the decks, setting a gentle rhythm for the night.  
“Stay with me tonight?” Changbin mumbled against Felix’s lips, a quiver of uncertainty in his voice.  
“Won’t the others ask questions?” The others, referring to the other crewmembers and not their friends. The word might travel into the captain’s ears, and he might do something.  
“I don’t care. We’ll be in Tortuga in two days.”  
“Then, I’ll stay with you.” Felix pecked Changbin’s lips once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fuff, fluff, toothrotting fluff!!!! I had such a good time while writing this chapter, it was so wholesome and heartwarming!! Also, thank you all so incredibly much for all the kind comments to the last chapter, the feedback and comments were literally overwhelming. Love u all so much, mwah!! 
> 
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	31. 31

Felix’s eyes fluttered open to a soft light seeping through the curtain, lighting the room in the mellow light of early morning. Dust danced in the air, swirling, as if looking for something. Felix could hear seagulls yelling outside along with some of the crewmembers. They were most likely just waking up, going to breakfast and after that they would start their daily tasks. Seagulls meant that they weren’t that far from land. Something scraped against the roof, probably something in the captain’s room, Felix figured. 

The person next to Felix shifted a little tightening the firm grip he had of Felix’s waist. Felix nuzzled closer, well, not that he could get much closer in the somewhat small bunk bed of the alcove. He turned his head a little to the right, just to press his nose against Changbin’s soft curls. He smelled intoxicating. Felix wanted to get used to this. Even though, he probably would never get used to this, because Changbin was a miracle and he wasn’t something Felix would ever get used to. Felix wouldn’t let that happen. He didn’t want that to happen, because getting used to meant that something lost its spark, and Changbin’s presence would absolutely never lose that spark. 

Felix pressed a peck on Changbin’s forehead, the other one was still fast asleep. Felix wanted to run his fingertips across the scars on his face, bathing in the warm sunlight. Felix was especially fond of the one on Changbin’s lower lip. It looked charming on him. Felix wanted to hear the story behind it. He would have to ask some day. Felix lifted his free hand from beside him (the other one was somewhere between him and Changbin, holding on to the other boy. Gently Felix traced his features; the straight nose, the tiny scar underneath his eye, the deep cupid’s bow all the way to the pillowy soft lips. Just as Felix was continuing his little travel, Changbin suddenly kissed the tips of his fingers delicately. 

“Good morning.” Felix murmured. Changbin’s eyes fluttered open, his grip tightening for a moment. He groaned and buried his head against Felix’s neck.   
“Morning.” He mumbled, voice hoarse and a little rough. It sent shivers Felix’s spine. Perhaps he had a thing for Changbin’s morning voice. Felix could feel Changbin pressing a little kiss against the sensitive skin of his neck, and he giggled, trying to shy away. Needless to say, it was useless. Soon the kisses trailed over Felix’s jawline to his lips, and Felix melted. Oh, how he wished all the mornings could be like this. 

A banging from the door woke them both from the sleepy slumber of the morning.   
“You two! Up!” They could hear Chan’s voice, laced with laughter. Ah, so it was not a secret that Felix had spent the night in Changbin’s room. Then again, Chan did know everything going on around the ship. 

Changbin groaned again, then whined;  
“I don’t want to.”   
“Me neither.” Felix muttered as he somehow hauled himself to a sitting position.   
“Don’t go.” Changbin whined again.   
“We have to. It’s a brand new day, breakfast is served.” Felix took Changbin by his arm and pulled.   
“I want a kiss.” The boy pouted. Felix loved the warm feeling that surged through his entire being.   
“You can have a kiss if you stand up.” He hadn’t known Changbin was this bad in the mornings. Or perhaps it was still too early. And he wasn’t bad. He was endearing. 

Changbin finally pulled himself to his feet, hair tousled and a bit of dried drool on his cheek. Felix laughed as he wiped it away before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. Changbin wrapped his arms around Felix, still whining that he didn’t want to wake up.   
“C’mon. I’m hungry.” And Felix was. 

Felix looked away as Changbin changed to a fresh set of clothes. Then he felt something soft being pressed against his arm.   
“I think you would look good in red.” Changbin gave him a cheeky smile, leaving Felix no other choices than to change his shirt to a new one. A red one. A red so deep it resembled blood. It was nice. Felix liked it. And he liked Changbin, and Changbin liked red, so red he was wearing, then. 

In the kitchen they got a few curious looks, and a few looks that seemed to know everything.   
“Nice shirt.” Hyunjin commented with a giggle. Was this a thing now? Bullying the two of them?   
“It is, isn’t it?” Changbin grinned next to Felix. Felix rolled his eyes, gently slapping Changbin’s hand away as if offended as he reached to pull Felix to sit down next to him. 

***

At some point Felix realized the day had turned to afternoon. The morning glow was gone, and the rain that had poured down last night seemed to have returned. Felix and Minho were done with cleaning, just hopping the stairs up to the main deck, as they began to hear yelling. Shouting. Huh? Was something going on? 

As they finally reached the main deck, some of the crewmembers had gathered on the quarterdeck and poop deck. They were looking at something. Felix could see Hyunjin and Seungmin in there, trying to see over other people’s heads. Changbin was standing on the helm, next to Chan.   
“Ahoy! Ship in the horizon! Coming at us with full sails!” Sangyeon’s voice pierced through the air, he was in the crow’s nest as a look-out.   
“It’s the pirate slayer, isn’t it!” Someone at the back yelled. Felix’s chest tightened.   
“Is it? Are we done for?”   
“Have a little faith, mate! This is Euryale!” 

The doors on the quarter deck slammed open, the captain stormed on the deck, running up the stairs to the upper quarter deck. He looked bewildered. He looked… intimidated? Confused? As if something that he had feared was going on.   
“Red colors! It might be an English man-o-war!” Sangyeon’s voice wavered. Was he… scared? 

Felix turned quickly as he saw the captain take out his spyglass. Was this it? Was it the pirate slayer or someone else? Had the English joined the French on the hunt for pirates? Or was it just passing by? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Felix couldn’t shake off the feeling that had engulfed him as Sangyeon had shouted the ship having red colors. Red was too familiar. Felix didn’t like the sound of that. He ran to the quarter deck with the others, trying to see the ship approaching them from behind. And just, as the heads in front of him gave him way to see behind the ship, he heard the shredding voice of the captain:

“It’s His Majesty’s Victory!” 

The deck underneath Felix’s feet disappeared. 

*** 

“Full sails! Quickly! They’re approaching fast!”   
“Tightly to starboard side! We can lose them!”  
“Nay! Straight ahead as fast as you can! Victory is fast but Euryale is faster!”   
“Blades out!”   
“Get the guns ready on both sides!”   
“Felix!”  
“Get the fucking sails down!”   
“Felix!”   
“Changbin! Get back here!” 

“Felix.” Felix couldn’t breathe, he felt like he was underwater, trying to find his way up. Everything around him was loud, too loud, deafeningly loud.   
“Felix! Look at me!” Someone grabbed his shoulders, stroked his cheeks. Was he crying?   
“Felix. Open your eyes, look at me.” And Felix did. He opened his eyes to look into the eyes deeper than the ocean.   
“Felix. Stay with me, you’re going to be okay.” But Changbin’s voice betrayed him. Felix could hear it, the fear, the agony. That something lit a fire inside Felix.   
“Y-yeah. Yeah.” He mumbled. He let Changbin help him up from where he had blacked out. 

“They’re approaching, we’re too slow!” Felix could make out Chan yelling through his haze.   
“Get your swords ready! We battle until every last man on Victory is dead!” The captain yelled back. Changbin grabbed Felix by his hand and lead him down the stairs to the main deck.   
“Changbin! Get back here right now!” If the captain hadn’t known before, he knew now. Changbin tightened his grip around Felix’s hand as he tore the sword storage door underneath the stairs open. He handed Felix a blade that seemed the best fit for him, and then someone shoved Felix to the side to get his own blade from the storage. 

Felix was in a haze. He felt like he was caught in tar, his limbs moved in slow-motion, his head couldn’t get ahold of the situation. Everything around him was in a state of chaos. The crewmembers were running around, they seemed like lost children caught in a battle. The captain was yelling commands, but only a handful of people were listening. 

Were these people this afraid of His Majesty’s Victory? Were these pirates this afraid of Felix’s father? Felix wanted to yell at them, tell them that Charles Lee wasn’t such a fighter himself, and that the best way to fight was to somehow disarm the men of Vic- they had muskets. The crew of Victory had muskets, Felix knew that, he had seen them himself, he had shot a target with one himself. That’s what they were afraid. They were afraid of the muskets, of the havoc, of the bloodbath Victory would bring with her. 

And Felix would have to meet his father. 

He would have to meet Charles Lee. 

It finally settled into his brain. 

And now Felix was afraid, too. 

Changbin looked at him in the eyes, grabbed him by his hand again, dragged him away from the storage as the pirates swarmed around it.   
“We’re going to be okay.” Felix could hear him mumbling, and he wasn’t sure it was meant for him or to reassure Changbin himself. Felix wanted to hug him, bring him close and tell him the same words, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t when there was fear pumping through his veins, blurring everything around him to a dark chaos. 

Felix looked around him, he needed something, anything, his gaze met Jeongin’s who was running down to the gun deck, Seungmin after him, they were going for the guns, Chan had ordered them for the guns, of course he had, and Jisung ran with Minho to the forecastle, Felix couldn’t see Hyunjin, he could only feel Changbin’s hand in his and the dead cold hands of dread clasping themselves around Felix’s neck once again. Oh, how it had been a while since he had felt those. 

An explosion. Euryale trembled. She shook, wavered, wailed as the first cannonball pierced through her hull. Another. Felix gasped, and then the hull of His Majesty’s Victory sailed next to Euryale. 

All the blood in Felix’s body seized, turned cold. Everything around him went silent, as if the whole world was taking in its final breath before the war. The rain thrummed against the decks of Euryale, the thick clouds painting everything in grey light. 

And then, what seemed like hundreds of hooks flied from the decks of Victory, clinging on the bannister of Euryale, and Victory sealed herself right side by side of Euryale, hull to hull. 

“Fire!” Chan’s screech, filled with dread pierced through the air just as the first gangways hit the deck of Euryale.   
“Onwards, men!”   
“Fight! Fight like your life depends on it, because it does!” 

Victory shuddered as the cannonballs Euryale sent her way crashed through her hull. The first wave of English sailors crossed the plank between the two ships, and then they were on the deck, and all of a sudden there was twenty other pirates with them, swords in their hands. Felix couldn’t help but just stare, stare at the sight in front of him, mouth agape, frozen in fear. The scene in front of him was so unfamiliar, yet oh, so familiar. He recognized the pirates. And he recognized the red coats. A man was walking towards him, his beautifully shining silvery blade out, ready to attack.  
“Felix!” Changbin yelled next to him and squeezed his hand, and Felix finally snapped out of his trance. He dodged the attack the man sent his way at the last second. 

Victory was here. The men of Nassau, men of his father were here. Weren’t they here for Felix? Had the man just not recognized him? Was the order to kill everyone on board, no matter who they were? Felix swiped left, right, his other hand still in Changbin’s as another man, dressed in red approached them. Felix didn’t look as his blade sunk into the man’s chest, he didn’t listen as the man let out the very last breath of his entire life. He was a man on the English crown and now Felix, having killed one of the crown’s very own children, was an enemy to the crown. 

Felix and Changbin danced through the deck, the first wave of soldiers facing their sad endings on the wooden boards of Euryale. Wind was in his hair, tears stained his cheeks as he couldn’t stop them. Felix didn’t look, he didn’t listen, he only felt the rain drenching him from head to toe, the warmth smearing on his hand and shirt and Changbin’s hand in his hold, grounding him to the moment, keeping him afloat, keeping him alive. 

“Hyunjin!” A shrill scream came from somewhere behind him, Felix turned around to look, but he saw nothing but red. Red coats, lying everywhere.   
“Onwards!” And another wave hit them, Felix’s fear, his anger growing with every swipe of his sword. Why? Why now?   
“Jisung!” Changbin screamed as someone hurled past them, and a huge red coat, at least a head taller than Felix pushed Felix as he fell from Jackson’s blade, tearing him away from Changbin, their hands unclasping from each other.   
“Go!” Felix yelled at the boy he so much loved as he turned around to dodge another attack.   
“Onwards!” Came another order from Victory. Guns blazed, Felix could hear the hull of Euryale tearing apart little by little, Victory had double the amount of cannons Euryale had, and they had triple the manpower, and they had muskets, and they were bigger and better and they were trained soldiers most of them and oh god they were going to lose, they were going to lose, Euryale was going to lose this battle. 

There was no hope, there was absolutely no hope as Felix turned around, the sword in his hand, and in front of him were ten men, guns aimed at him, his friends, his crewmembers, everyone around him, and more men with muskets were running over the planks on board.   
“Fire!” Felix, at the last second pulled himself behind the main mast where he met the scared eyes of Chan, lost and hopeless;  
“Felix.” Was all he had time to say, and another order sounded from the boards of Victory:   
“Corner them! Disarm the filthy rats!” And then a boy, roughly Felix’s age pulled Chan from the back of his shirt and shoved against the mast, a gun pointed right at his throat and Chan dropped his sword, with a loud clank.   
“Kill them all!” 

Felix heard the order way too clearly, there were too many red coats, too many Englishmen, he got to his feet, he had to find, he needed to find, he so desperately needed to find him, he had to, he really had to see him-.   
“Halt!” 

“Hold your guns!” 

“Felix!”

Felix froze. He knew that voice. He knew that voice all too well. He feared that voice more than anything in the world. 

“Felix! My son!” 

Every fiber of Felix’s being was telling him to run, to find Changbin and hide into a safe corner, to flee, do anything to get out, yet he still, he still with a bloodied blade in his hand slowly, slowly turned towards the voice. 

“Felix, my dearest son, I am so grateful to see you!” 

And there he was. There he was, walking over the plank, the tails of his coat flapping in the wind, the golden embroideries of his red jacket prim and proper. All the power in Felix’s body left him, he was trembling, he felt like vomiting. 

“F-father.” Felix’s voice didn’t sound like his own. It was quiet, full of dread. Charles Lee approached him and grabbed him into his embrace. Felix’s sword fell from his hand, clanking against the deck. He heard it echoing in his ears. 

“Oh, my sweet little boy, we all thought you were gone! We came to look for you, we have been looking for you for so long and look at you! We have finally found you, oh, I am so grateful that you are alive!” 

Charles Lee’s voice didn’t reflect the words he said. He sounded cold. He didn’t sound sincere. 

“Look at you.” Felix’s father grabbed him by his shoulders, took a look at him up and down. He frowned.   
“What have they done to you, my sweet little summer child? You are safe now, we will bring you home.” 

Home? Felix’s home was here. He was right here. 

Right here, three meters away from him, with a gun pointed right at his throat, his other arm bleeding, dripping down on the deckboards. The ocean eyes met Felix’s, and never had Felix seen them filled with such fear. 

“No.” 

“Felix? Come home to me. There’s nothing for you on this ship, filled with dirty pirates.” 

“No.” Felix whispered. To him, it sounded like he was yelling. Screaming it into the world. 

“Felix, I know I have not been the best father to you, but if you won’t do it for me, do it for your mother.”

“No.” 

“Felix, I am begging. She is very sick, Amelia is very sick, and she just wants to see you, perhaps for the very last time.” 

Felix finally tore his eyes away from Changbin to look at his father. There was no trace of lie in his face. His mother was sick. Dying.

But what was the point? The loved ones stayed in the wind, in the waves, anyway. Amelia Lee would never leave Felix, even if she would leave the earth as they knew it. If she was already dying, what was the point of Felix going back? To suffer alongside his father for the rest of his life? 

Felix took a step back:   
“No.”  
He took a deep breath.   
“There’s nothing for me in Nassau.”   
He glanced around, his eyes traveling over the people around him. All of the crew, every single one of them, were cornered. The captain was coughing up blood close to the helm, the men on the gun deck were quiet. Johnny was lying dead in the middle of the main deck. Max was lying dead in the middle of the main deck. Irene was lying dead in the middle of the main deck. There were plenty of other bodies Felix couldn’t recognize. He prayed none of them were too close to him.

Finally Felix’s eyes landed on a familiar figure. Jisung was next to Changbin, clutching his ear, face contorted in pain. Blood was seeping through his fingers. An officer Felix recognized had his blade pointed at him. 

And next to him, Changbin. Felix took a breath in. It wouldn’t be so bad, dying on these decks, would it? At least he would do it next to Changbin. At least he would end up in the wind, in the ocean waves, in his arms.   
“This is my life now.” 

Charles Lee looked at the sight in front of him, and oh, he noticed the fondness in Felix’s eyes. He recognized that feeling. 

And as he took his pistol out from its holster, Felix noticed it, with an audible gasp. His father pointed the gun straight at Changbin’s head.   
“N-no!” Felix winced. Charles Lee looked at him with a cocked eyebrow.   
“No! Don’t!” 

Felix was panicking. Tears brimmed in his eyes, he was trying to come up with something, anything, and Changbin looked at him, with a tear rolling down his cheek and Felix shrieked;

“I’ll come! Don’t shoot him! Please, father, don’t! I will come, I will come home! I will come home to you and mother, if you let Euryale sail away without hurting them anymore, I will come home! Please!” Felix was begging. He nearly fell to his knees, but instead he grabbed the arm that was pointing the gun to Changbin’s head. 

“Please. Let them sail away. I’ll come home.” It was barely a whisper. 

Something in Charles Lee’s face softened up at his son begging him for mercy for someone else. Felix saw him look around; he saw the state the crew of Euryale was in. They wouldn’t last long. The once high and mighty Captain Seo was gurgling up blood in the arms of Charles Lee’s dear friend and an admiral.   
“Fine.” 

“Lower your guns. Retreat back to Victory.” Charles Lee took Felix by his arm, squeezing roughly, too roughly, as he started pulling him towards the deck of Victory. He didn’t let go, he didn’t let go as Felix wailed for him to do so, he needed just one, just one final touch, one final kiss, one final look, but he didn’t give that to him. 

Felix turned around with the last ounces of desperation to look at the boy he so much loved for one last time. And there he was, ocean eyes deeper than the abyss, on his knees and tears staining his cheeks. Felix took the picture in, he savored it, he memorized it into his heart so deep he would never forget it. Stopped in time. So beautiful. So ethereal. So breathtaking. 

“I’m sorry, Changbin. I’m really sorry.” Felix whispered in the air. 

*

The clatter of feet against the wooden boards of Victory sounded unfamiliar to Felix. The arm wrapped around him was unfamiliar, too. He was shivering, but not from cold. Someone put a blanket over his shoulders.   
“Hello, young mister Lee!”   
“Good to see you, young mister Lee.”   
“Hello, Felix, you still remember me?”   
“Felix, you are safe now, no need to worry about those filthy pirates anymore!”   
“That must have been some horrifying months for such a young boy!”  
“We are very glad that you are still alive!” 

Felix recognized some of the voices, but he tried to push them back, push them away, somewhere far away. The rain was still drizzling down. Felix realized he was bleeding as the drops dribbled down on the main deck of Victory.   
“Full sails towards Nassau! We are finally bringing our boy home!” Charles Lee announced, and to anyone else he would have seemed to be filled with joy and victory, but Felix could see right through him, the joy in his voice was only a cover. He wished Felix would have been dead. Felix was the one thing that had stopped him from killing the crew of Euryale to the very last one. And because of his men, because of the image he had to uphold, he couldn’t back away from Felix’s request. 

Felix couldn’t turn back. He couldn’t turn back and look as Euryale was left behind them, broken and in the brink of sinking. He couldn’t turn back, as his eyes were filled with tears and he sobbed into his hands, his legs finally giving up from underneath him. 

He was hurting. He was broken, his arm was bleeding, his ears were ringing. His heart was shattered to a million pieces that pricked his chest with every shuddering breath he took.   
“I’m sorry, Changbin, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He sobbed, so quietly no one around him could make out the words.   
“I’m sorry, Jisung, I’m sorry, Hyunjin, I’m sorry, Jeongin, I’m sorry Seungmin, I’m sorry, Minho, I’m sorry, Chan. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!”   
“There, there. It’s all going to be okay, you are safe now.” Charles Lee patted his back, trying to keep the image of a good father up. Felix winced and dodged away from his touch. 

“Captain. Sir. They have done it.” An officer Felix didn’t know voiced. He sounded delighted.   
“They have?” And Charles Lee sounded even more delighted. And Felix knew that tone, oh he knew that tone, it horrified him to his very core every time he heard it, Charles Lee was an expert in causing pain indirectly, without getting his hands dirty, and Felix knew that tone and he was on his feet again within a matter of seconds. 

“Yes, captain.” The officer repeated. Charles Lee smiled at him, and then he smiled at his son. The smile did not reach to his eyes. 

Felix looked at him terrified. Then he finally looked at Euryale, tilting slightly to the other side, a few hundred meters away from them. There was a small boat approaching Victory, the two people in there waving. 

And then, 

Euryale exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my, did changbin find his way to the world's end after all? 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
[curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dulcetchan)  
[oceanbound playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5HfkMeMwaHTL6KA9LcIR4p?si=-ZE-oOg8QGiOydoDOwbgjw)


	32. 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you are interested and haven't yet noticed, I have written a little spin-off to the Oceanbound world, [Oceanborn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25711570)! It is a little eye-opener to Changbin's point of view about some things that have happened in this fic. It is not required to be read in order to understand the upcoming events, so if you do not want to read it, don't worry, you won't miss anything. However, if you plan on reading it, I kindly suggest you read it before you read this chapter, aka chapter 32. 
> 
> And with that, content warning for mentions of domestic abuse

Three years.

It had been three years.

Three excruciatingly long, insufferable years.

Felix dunked his quill in the inkwell, swirled it around before moving his hand over the paper. He was careful enough not to spill any ink on the surface, but careless enough for his writing to end up nearly unreadable. “Sorry, it’s just my handwriting”, that’s what he would say to Mister Houghton, the governor of Port Royal, as he would once again scold Felix for his handwriting on the tax payment reports.

Felix sighed, his head hurt. The sun was slowly setting behind his back, painting the walls around him orange. He had been sitting in his room, hunched over the desk for most of the day. He didn’t feel like going out. He never felt like going out. When he finally got the last numbers down, he let the ink dry for a moment before folding the paper into a roll and sealing it with wax and a stamp with the Lee family seal.

Lee family seal. God, how he hated that thing. It made Felix’s mouth taste like ash.

Felix stood up and stretched. He drew the curtains properly away from the window, let the sunlight flood into the room. The gilded swirls decorating the legs of his desktop glimmered in the evening glow. Felix sighed again as he placed the paper on top of a stack of other paper scrolls. He ran a hand through his orange locks that had got a little too long, but he just didn’t find it in him to care enough to cut them.

“Hey! The Lady of the Sea is weighing anchors tonight!”  
“Is she? I thought they would leave tomorrow morning.”  
“Nah, they need some new places open in the port, governor told them to leave tonight.”

Felix closed the open window, his heart ached. The noises emanating from the bustling street below his balcony turned to a mush and Felix couldn’t make out the words anymore. For a moment he gazed at the sight in front of him, the roofs of the buildings, leading all the way to the largest port Felix had ever seen in his life – and he knew it wasn’t even that big compared to huge cities like London.

Port Royal was a beautiful town, Felix had to admit that. It was bigger than Nassau, livelier than Nassau, in fact, it was better than Nassau in every way. Port Royal was friendly, whereas Nassau was hateful. Port Royal forgave, Nassau didn’t. Port Royal was far from Charles Lee. Nassau wasn’t.

Three years. It had been three years.

They hadn’t made it. Amelia Lee had passed away three days before His Majesty’s Victory had sailed into the docks of Nassau. Her last wish had been to see Felix once, just once, and that had been taken from her. She had left Felix a letter, a letter she had dictated to her maid just hours before her death, as if she knew Felix and his father wouldn’t make it.

_My dearest summer child, I do not know if this letter will ever reach you, but I have some words to tell you. I hope that wherever you are, you are alright, and whatever you are going through will end up in happiness rather than tears. I hope the future will treat you right and you can live with a clear conscience. My days on this earth are numbered, but my love and care for you will continue as my presence leaves this earth. I will always be with you, in your heart, and you know that. Above all, I hope that you will live a life that you are content with, and you find true happiness.  
_ _Love,  
_ _your mother_

Felix could hear them every time he read the letter, he could hear Amelia Lee’s voice clearly, as if she was whispering the letter directly to Felix’s ear. It wasn’t a long letter, but Felix knew his mother had poured every ounce of love she had into those words. He had read the letter countless of times, so many times half of the words were unreadable due to the tears that had fallen on the paper. Felix remembered it from word to word. He cherished it; it was tugged into the pocket of his waistcoat at all times. It was sad, bittersweet, but it was the only thing Felix had left of his mother in Port Royal. It was the only thing he still had from Amelia Lee, apart from the memories.

Three years, and the pain just didn’t subside. Felix heard the front open and close, the governor was most likely home. Felix’s room was on the second floor of the building, next to the governor’s daughter’s room. She was studying in London, so Felix had never met her. Apparently a nice lady, to be wed next summer. A few years older than Felix. The steps reached the stairs, and Felix knew the governor was coming upstairs. He grabbed the scrolls and hurried to the door, just before he heard the knock. He opened the door to face the governor of Port Royal.

“Evening, Felix!”  
“Evening, Mister Houghton. How are you?”  
“I’m good, my dear. Do you have the tax reports ready?”  
“I do, right here!” Felix handed the scrolls to Mister Houghton. He was a rather nice man in his late fifties, a little greying, a little on the stout side. Felix had anticipated the worst, but Mister Houghton was tolerable. He didn’t push, he didn’t ask any excessive questions of Felix’s past which seemed to still be an interesting topic discussed during dinners. He was patient, and he didn’t yell.  
“Thank you! Also, a letter from Nassau arrived today. It’s from your father, I believe.” Mister Houghton handed Felix a letter with the familiar seal on it. Felix thanked the man.  
“Sirs Ainsley and Nelson are dropping by tonight for dinner, I hope you will join us. Sir Nelson’s son is also coming.”  
“I will gladly join you, sir.” Felix faked a smile. God, how he hated that Nelson boy.  
“Perfect! I will call you down when they’re here.”

Felix closed the door as soon as Mister Houghton was gone. He threw the letter on his desk and sat on the bed next to it. Felix ran a hand through his hair once again, breathed in. The walls started feeling like closing in, as they did with every damn letter. Defeated, Felix took it, ripped the seal open and read it. Dread engulfed him.

_Felix,  
_ _I have found you a lady. You will be wed to Miss Elaine Poole next September. I hope you are doing well in Port Royal and Mister Houghton is teaching you well.  
_ _Love,  
_ _Your father. _

Felix wanted to throw up. He had seen this coming; he knew his father had been looking for someone for him to marry as fast as he could, someone whose family would bring wealth and fame to Nassau. Felix had heard of them, the Poole family, they lived in London, too, and Elaine’s mother had been friends with Amelia Lee. Felix threw the letter back on the desk, tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want any of this. There was only three months left before September would roll in.

It had been three years. Three long, painful years.

The reason Felix was going to marry Miss Poole was that Mister Smith had been hanged for treason a week after Felix’s… kidnapping. Charles Lee had found out his dear friend had been behind the attack, working with pirates, and therefore he had been hanged, because working with pirates meant that you also were one. After that Mistress Smith, Margaret and Annaliese had left back to England and moved to Liverpool. Some new families had moved to Nassau after that, and the town had been mostly rebuilt.

But Felix was in Port Royal, away from Nassau, away from everything. After Amelia Lee had died, Charles Lee’s hatred for Felix had become evident even to outsiders. Felix knew it, Charles saw his son as a pirate, as a filthy thief, nothing but a roach that should be eliminated. The situation had got out of hand, every single day sir Ainsley had had to listen to Felix and Charles Lee screaming at each other because they simply could not breathe the same air inside the same house. Whatever Felix did, he did it wrong, and when Charles got mad at him, Felix, instead of just taking the anger as he had used to, started defending himself, yelling back at him. And that got Charles Lee especially mad. Felix got a tiny scar on his ear to remind him of that.

So, Charles Lee had sent Felix to Port Royal as he finally realized that he was not going to train him to become the next governor because Felix did not want to become one, nor did he want to work with his father. Unfortunately for Felix, Charles Lee also knew that Felix didn’t dare to go against strangers in high positions, as much as he hated authorities, so now Felix did everything Mister Houghton, a childhood friend of Charles Lee, told him to. Mostly because he was a surprisingly nice man. Mostly because he did not dare to raise his voice at the governor of Port Royal, the biggest city in the Caribbean. So now Felix knew how to fill in the tax reports, and soon he would learn about the investments and other things like that, that’s what he had been told! How fun!

How nice! In half of a year Felix would have a wife, most likely a house both in Nassau and Port Royal, he would be close to finishing his training and would soon take over his position as the governor of Nassau. Or the second in command. How delightful! How everything Felix had ever hoped and wished for!

Felix tried so hard to keep the tear from rolling down his cheek, but he couldn’t stop it. God, how he hated this. He hated this so, so, so much. He hated this with every fiber of his being. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near Port Royal, anywhere near any of these people. He wasn’t supposed to be on land. He was supposed to be home.

Frustrated, Felix stood up. To do what? It wasn’t like he could just leave the house on a day like this? He had places to be, dinners to attend, smiles to fake. He sighed once again before the sight in the mirror next to his wardrobe caught his eye.

He had changed so much. Felix had always been Amelia’s smiley little boy, but now his features had turned to a permanent frown. And if Felix was being honest, he couldn’t remember when was the last time he had genuinely smiled. Or perhaps he did. It had been three years ago. In a haze of wooden deck boards, books and the sea.

Felix lifted his arm, let the sleeve of his shirt roll down and reveal the thin scar on his right arm. It was barely noticeable, a thin, white line against Felix’s skin. With his other hand he lightly traced it, up and down.

Three years. It had been three years.

It had been three years since Felix had last seen Changbin. It had been three years since he had been forced to leave Changbin on that deck, crying, bleeding. It had been three years since Euryale had exploded, leaving absolutely nothing but crackling smithereens after her.

It had been three years, and the pain still, from time to time, engulfed Felix entirely. It wasn’t as bad anymore as it had once been, but it was still there. Someone had once told Felix that time healed the wounds, but he begged to differ. They simply stopped bleeding for a moment, and then Felix would gaze at the vast open from the docks of Port Royal for a few too many seconds, and once again his heart would be ripped out and shredded to a million pieces. Grief was just love that had no place to go, that’s what his mother had once told him, so it poured out in between shuddering sobs and sleepless nights.

God, he missed Changbin so much. He missed him so, so, so much that he wasn’t capable of handling his emotions. So once again, he let the tears fall, he let them stain his cheeks, he let the sobs take over as he fell on his knees in front of the mirror. He shuddered, he couldn’t breathe.

He had broken so many promises. He had broken all of them. He had promised Jisung that they would always stick together. He had promised the other boys to teach them everything he knew.

He had promised Changbin to never leave him. And then he had left him.

He knew it, the logical part of his brain knew it, what they had had only lasted for month. The love they had shared had only lasted for a week, and it shouldn’t hurt this much, it really shouldn’t, but it did.

But it wasn’t like any of that mattered anymore. None of them were in this world. They were in the wind, in the ocean waves, in the clouds passing by. Felix had seen it himself, he had seen Euryale explode and sink, he had seen the masts tear apart, the sails pull down the ship into the depths of the ocean. Felix had broken every single promise he had made on the decks of Euryale, and oh dear god how he regretted it.

The pain, the longing, the grief, it all turned into this mass that never left Felix. It heaved him down, it hunched his shoulders, it stripped him from any traces of joy. Nowadays he just felt sadness, or he didn’t feel anything at all. In the span of one day, he had lost his smile, he had lost his friends, and he had lost the love of his life. And for that, he would never, ever forgive Charles Lee.

Felix couldn’t properly remember the time after he had returned to Nassau. There had been a funeral, that he remembered. Charles Lee had told him not to cry in the funeral, but Felix hadn’t been able to oblige. He had sobbed into his hands through the whole ceremony, staining his father’s name. Then there had been a celebration. Felix was home, that was a thing to celebrate, and Felix had had to sit properly and smile through the whole evening, he had had to tell everyone what his life had been like on that ship, and he had had to lie, he had had to tell that it had been horrible, terrifying, when it had been anything but that. Otherwise, everything was a blur. A haze. Some pictures he could remember from here and there. He could remember himself, running down the deck of Nassau, begging for that one ship to take him with it. He could remember Charles Lee dragging him back home and locking him into his room for the next few days. He could remember that he had spent the month crying. Crying to the point that instead of tears there were just dry sobs. Felix had run out of tears.

Felix wished he could say that he had started healing, but he hadn’t. He had simply learned how to cope with the grief. Somehow.

The body-wracking sobs finally eased down to gentle weeps. Felix could nearly breathe again.

Oh god, how he missed him. How he missed them. Every day, and it just didn’t get any better.

And now he would have to marry someone he didn’t know, when his heart was already somewhere else. Now he would have to face his inevitable faith as a governor, he’d have to face his father every day, he would have to live a life away from the sea. He would have to do everything he didn’t want to do. He would have to be everything he was not.

Felix dragged himself to sit on his bed again. With puffy eyes he stared into nothingness.

_I hope that you will live a life that you are content with, and you will find true happiness. _

***

“Evening, young mister Lee! Glad to see you join us tonight!”  
“Evening, Sir Nelson. Evening, John.” John Nelson was a year younger than Felix. He looked at Felix like Felix had spat on his grave and called his mother a whore. Felix had no idea what he had ever done to the boy, but oh, how they did not get along.  
“Evening, Felix.”  
“Evening, Sir Ainsley.” Sir Ainsley was most likely the only person that still treated Felix the same way as before. After all, they had spent quite a lot of time together, Sir Ainsley was Felix’s teacher and had followed after him to Port Royal as Charles Lee had told him to do so. They still had some weekly lessons, but not as often as before. Mathematics. Languages. Everything that would come handy for Felix once he would become the governor.

It wasn’t mandatory for Sir Ainsley to keep teaching Felix, but he had insisted for some reason. Perhaps it was because he had seen what Felix had become after everything, how he rarely went out, met people, or talked to anyone, so he felt pity towards the boy he had practically raised. And Felix didn’t refuse. After all, Sir Ainsley, at the end of the day, was one of those people that did not remind Felix of who he was, who he was supposed to be or what had happened to him. He was human, unlike the rest of them.

Felix nodded at Mister Houghton and sat down on his stool. The maids soon brought out their dinners, as fancy as ever. Felix tugged the ruffles of his sleeves to not to stain them. John Nelson sat next to him, scooting a bit farther away from him. Like he was the embodiment of some kind of sickness. And perhaps he was. At least nearly everyone seemed to think that. Felix knew there were some rumors going around about him and his relationship with pirates, but he didn’t want to hear any of them. John Nelson apparently did.

“Felix, how are your studies going?” Sir Nelson wasn’t as bad as his son.  
“They are going fine.”  
“With a little more precision, he will be a great governor in no time!” Mister Houghton smiled. A little more precision. Felix knew that meant a little more of giving a shit.  
“Any news from Nassau?”  
“Same old. They’re building another pier.” Felix smiled. The smile didn’t reach to his eyes.  
“Oh? Good, in case of an attack!”  
“I heard the Brethren has been quite active lately in front of the Spanish main. I wonder if the Pirate Slayer will finally get rid of all of them. They sank Indigo in front of Aruba a few weeks ago.” Felix could hear the smirk in John Nelson’s voice. To anyone else this turn of conversation would have been odd, but it wasn’t exactly the first time John Nelson was trying to drive Felix up the wall. He turned to face the boy, face devoid of any emotion:  
“Good for them.”

In his mind, he paid respects to the crew of Indigo and Captain Visser. May they find their way to Davy Jones’ locker with ease, may their sails be filled with wind, may the waves be peaceful, and their barrels filled with rum and gold.

“Interesting case, the French ship, that is.”  
“Mmhm.” Sir Nelson agreed with Mister Houghton. The food was somewhat tasty. Not that Felix really paid attention. Felix asked from the maids water instead of wine. He didn’t feel like drinking. Last time he had drunk, he had ended up alone in the corner table of some bar, sobbing with a jug filled with portwine just because the taste reminded him of everything. Some townsmen had escorted him back home, and Mister Houghton had not been pleased.

The conversation flowed on, Felix tried his best to take part of it. The candles lit the dining hall, bathing all five of them in soft, golden glow. Felix knew the night would be long, it always was with Sir Nelson and Mister Houghton drinking a bit too much of wine. Sir Ainsley drank, too, Felix noticed it from his ruddy nose and hazy eyes. Every time Felix said something, John Nelson answered with a rude remark laced with sarcasm. It was getting on Felix’s nerves. The others didn’t notice in their drunken states, or they didn’t care.

What if he just left? What if he would run upstairs right now, change his clothes, take all of the essential belongings and a bit of money, and run to the pier and beg for The Lady of the Sea to take him with it. What if he left? None of these people would be able to stop him. What if? But Felix knew he wouldn’t, he had thought about it for countless of times, every night before he fell asleep, and he still had done absolutely nothing. He wouldn’t do it. He didn’t have it in him to just leave. 

_I hope that you will live a life that you are content with, and you will find true happiness._

“Felix! What do you think, how should Nassau better their guards in case of a new pirate attack?” Felix turned his gaze to Sir Nelson.  
“Double the guards, set up a watchtower on both sides of the city. Build the city farther from the shoreline from now on.” Felix answered, as if he was reading it from a textbook. And he sort of was, that’s what it said in one of those books Sir Ainsley had dragged for him from his trip to London.  
“As if you would do anything to stop the attack.” John Nelson mumbled under his breath to his drink:  
“Pirate.”

Something in Felix snapped.

“Please excuse me, gentlemen, it has been a long day.” Felix announced with a stern voice as he stood up. He didn’t give anyone else time to protest as he marched out of the room into the hallway and ran up the stairs. He could hear Mister Houghton call for him, but Sir Ainsley told him to let Felix be. He opened the door to his room in hurry.

What if? They wouldn’t notice. They wouldn’t notice if Felix was gone, and they wouldn’t notice if his plan failed and he would have to return during the night. Except that he couldn’t fail. He had to succeed. Felix dragged an old leather satchel from underneath his bed before hastily opening his wardrobe and stuffing the first pieces of clothing in the satchel that he could find. Then he stripped his waistcoat and shirt off and ripped the neck ruffle away. His hand caught on to a red cloth, and he pulled it from the back of the wardrobe.

It was the shirt. It was the shirt that Changbin had given him three years ago. Felix took in a dragged breath before, without thinking, pulled it over his head and tied the strings in the front to a little ribbon. He changed his socks to the ones without any ruffles, and found himself the most undecorated shoes he could find. Just plain black boots. He could work with those. He took the waistcoat from the floor and put it on, he didn’t want to lose it, it had pockets. It had the letter in the pockets.

Felix strode over to his desk, pulled some of the drawers open. He took his money pouch, a few quills, an inkwell, a few scrolls of paper. What else did he need? Felix took a knife, tugged in the pocket of his waistcoat. He took a pocket watch and tugged it in another pocket. It was closing to eight.

Felix threw the bag over his shoulder. He grabbed a quill and another piece of paper and dipped the quill in the inkwell on his desk.  
“This is a goodbye. Don’t come looking for me. I just want to be happy.” Felix placed the quill next to the paper and took one final look around the room. Did he need anything else? Probably. He just didn’t have time to think.

Felix opened the door to the hallway as quietly as he possibly could. The floorboards creaked underneath his weight. Felix grabbed the least fancy jacket he owned from the coat rack before closing the door. He tiptoed down the stairs, hid himself in the shadows. He could hear laughter coming from the dining hall, and with the cover of that he opened the front door and leaped out into the darkness.

The door closed behind him a little too loud for Felix’s liking. The evening wasn’t cold, the moonlight illuminated the front yard of the house. It was very close to the center of the city of Port Royal, just a few blocks away from the city hall. Felix quickly ran down to the gate separating Mister Houghton’s house from the main street. It was rather unusual for the nobility to live so close to the other inhabitants, but apparently Mister Houghton didn’t care about that.

Felix walked down the main street as fast as he could without looking out of place. He kept his head low. He knew his orange locks stood out, and soon he could hear someone whisper his name close to him. Felix changed to another street, less bustling than the main street. He noticed that the tailor’s shop was still open, and with a jingle of a bell he opened the door.  
“Evening, mister Park. I know it is rather late, but do you happen to have any hats for sale?” Felix put on his best smile. The man looked a little surprised to see Felix alone, out of his usual attire of fancy clothes.  
“Sure, my dear boy, here are some options. Would you like a fancy one?”  
“Anything… normal, please. Nothing too excessive. Something that doesn’t stand out.”

Felix exited the shop with a dark brown hat with a white feather on top of his orange locks. It hid them fairly well. He was in a hurry, and he quickly pulled the black jacket over him. He tried to hide his face with the collars. Adrenaline was running through his body, urging him to go faster, the city around him was alive, there were people, so many people out tonight and Felix had to constantly watch out to not bump onto anyone. The buildings made of stone whirled past him, he nearly stumbled on the cobblestones. The city smelled suffocating, as if it was on fire. Felix felt like he was running from something. Something akin to panic was slowly taking over his mind.

“Watch out, boy!”  
“No need to hurry so much!”  
“Calm down!” The voices rung in Felix’s ears, but he just yelled a quick “Sorry!” after them. When his feet finally hit the dock planks of the port he stopped. He took in a shuddering breath, he could feel the little droplets of cold sweat running down his temple. Where was it? Where was she?

“Hurry! We’ve got to go!” Felix turned around towards the voice and sprinted to a run. The port of Port Royal was huge. There were at least ten ships currently tied onto it, with eight more anchored in the bay. Felix ran past one dock extending towards the open vast, then another before he finally reached the one he was looking for. The planks below his feet thudded as Felix ran for his life. Then he finally saw a man standing close to a ship, the gangway still down. They were hauling something into the ship. The man noticed Felix approaching.

“Hello? Who are you, if I may ask?” Felix stopped in front of him, out of breath. Who was he?  
“Doesn’t matter. I want to go with you.” The man suppressed a laugh:  
“Go with me? Sorry, kid, we are not recruiting new sailors.” He turned and was just about to walk up the gangway. Felix, in desperation, grabbed his arm and forced him to stop.  
“No, please, I beg you, take me with you. I have sailed before, I know what to do. I won’t be a burden to you or your crew.” Felix didn’t even know if this was the captain he was talking to.

The man eyed him up and down. He looked a little confused, a little sceptic.  
“C’mon, we need to go before the wind stills.” Felix heard a call from the main deck of the Lady of the Sea. The man in front of him sighed.  
“Do we have space for a new deckboy?” He yelled clearly at the crew. Felix finally let go of his arm, pleading with his eyes. Please. Take me. With you. I can’t go back. I need to get out. The desperation was laced in his every action, every shuddering breath he took.  
“Aye, we could use a new one!”

The man stepped away from the gangway and nodded at Felix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew what a turn of events! anyways the chapter before this and this chapter are the third reason this fic exists. and as an answer to the overwhelming amount of devastated comments the last chapter got, i am saying one thing: trust the tags.
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
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	33. 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: the first part of this chapter contains suggestive language and sexual assault (or at least an attempt of that, depending on definition). if you do not wish to read this part, simply continue after the asterisks (the ***-part), the part before that isn't very important plotwise, you won't miss anything if you choose to skip.

“Ay! Deckboy! Come clean this up!”   
“Deckboy! There’s wine on the deck.”   
“Hey deckboy, anyone ever tell you you got pretty lips?” 

Boarding the Lady of the Sea may have been a mistake. Felix, with a rag in his hand and a bucket in his other, marched over to the one who had called him first. He was a joke to this crew. No wonder they had needed a new deckboy, the old one had probably left the crew. 

At least the captain was somewhat nice. And he had nearly recognized Felix. So after that Felix had avoided him with all his might. 

Felix dropped on his knees next to a table full of sailors. He knew they had spilled that wine on purpose. Of course they had.   
“That eagerly on your knees, huh?” Felix, with a scowl on his face ignored the men and wiped the deck clean once again. He now very much understood the rumors he had heard of Minho three years ago. 

The Lady of the Sea was a cargo ship transporting goods in between Port Royal and Tortola. It wasn’t large, just an average-sized ship. Smaller than Euryale had been. Three decks, no gun deck, just storages for cargo. Dark brown in color, clearly worn-out and old. A few cannons were tied to the bannisters, but in case of an attack, they weren’t that useful. The Lady of the Sea sailed underneath the English crown, so the colors were hoisted at all times, red and proud. Felix was not a fan of that, but he had had no choice. It wasn’t like any other ships visited Port Royal apart from merchant ships and warships. Felix would have rather sailed with a merchant ship but… here he was. On the Lady of the Sea. At least he now had the sea wind in his hair, pulling on his clothes and the air tasted of salt. 

At least he could still feel that wind. At least he could still, partly, feel that freedom. Felix leaned forwards, hands on the bannister of the ship, and took in the view. It had taken him four whole days to actually understand that he was not in Port Royal anymore. He had left Port Royal. Port Royal was a four-day sail behind him, and he would never, ever go back. He was on his own now. And that scared him. It scared him to his very core, but it was the only thing keeping him alive. It was the only thing that kept his head afloat. 

He had no idea where he would end up. He would try to find a merchant ship in Tortola, if that was possible. From what Felix knew, it was a rather small city. And they wouldn’t even take him on a man-o-war, he wasn’t a soldier. He would try to board a ship that would be sailing to Europe or to East Indies. Perhaps he could sail to London and try to find Eric? No. There were too many curious eyes in London, too many people who knew him, even if it was a huge city and filled with life. Felix wouldn’t take that risk. Give it a few years, and then he would travel to London. Then everyone would have forgotten about him already. He would be nothing but a shadow. 

Felix heard a whistle coming from behind him. Not the first time he had heard that one on this ship. He knew he was the target. When Seungmin had told Felix about the sailors on English cargo ships, Felix hadn’t anticipated it to be this bad. On top of that, he was a deckboy – he had no way of really biting back. He was in the lowest rank. He was a joke. He slept with one eye open in the farthest corner of the crew’s quarters, as far from any other person as he was physically capable of. He was also clearly the youngest one of the crew, the others were mostly old men, sailors past their best days. Felix was alone. 

The night was dawning upon the ship. The white sails rustled in the gentle breeze. Felix sighed as he descended to the upper storage deck to put his cleaning supplies in their rightful places. There were no other people in sight, most of the crew was sitting in the small kitchen or on the main deck. That was, until Felix heard someone shuffling behind him and then pressing their whole being against his back.   
“There you are, pretty boy.” 

For a second Felix’s froze. This wasn’t the first time someone was calling to him, but this was the first time someone actually had the audacity to approach him. Let alone touch him. A hot, disgusting breath ghosted over Felix’s neck, and that’s when he finally snapped and let the adrenaline take over his senses. 

Felix whipped around and tore the knife out of his pocket. He pressed it firmly against the man’s neck, who yelled in surprise. Felix grabbed a handful of his greasy hair and pulled him downwards, making him unable to move.   
“If you or your disgusting friends touch me, say anything to me or even as much as look at me again, I will not hesitate to drive this knife through your neck. I have killed before, and I can and will kill again.” 

Felix kneed the man’s crotch before pushing him back, hard. He stumbled backwards before dropping down to his knees. Felix didn’t wait for more and quickly hopped up the stairs to the main deck, tugging the knife safe into his pocket. He could hear his heartbeat, he could hear the blood rushing in his veins. He was pretty sure Minho’s spirit had just possessed him, because he for sure had not been entirely aware of what he had been doing back there. But it had worked. It had worked, and Felix felt a lump in his throat, he felt disgusting, he felt… ashamed? Whatever it was, it was icky, and it horrified Felix, as he sat down on his mattress, lied down and pulled his blanket over his ears. There were a few other sailors already sleeping soundly in the crew’s quarters, despite it being rather early in the evening. Felix listened closely if the man had followed after him. 

He hadn’t. Then he let the tears fall. 

*** 

Day five of Felix’s second worst nightmare began fairly easily. The sun was shining down on the ship, the sails were full of wind. Despite the day being so beautiful, Felix hadn’t slept properly. Of course he hadn’t, he just couldn’t do that on this ship. On another note, his breakfast had gone surprisingly peacefully by. No one had disturbed him, and Felix had noticed the icky sailor from yesterday had spared him one glance before flinching away. So perhaps he wasn’t in such a weak position. He just really hoped he wouldn’t have to endure that again. 

“Felix!” The quartermaster called out Felix from his thoughts. He was sitting on a bannister, fiddling with some shrouds, trying to look like he was busy. He wasn’t, there wasn’t much to do on the ship today.   
“You said you have sailed a lot? Ever been to the crow’s nest?” Felix nodded. The quartermaster was the same man Felix had begged for to take him on the ship.   
“Good! Get up there and save the old man Jack from his misery.” 

Felix nodded again before stepping on the said shrouds. The mizzen mast of The Lady of the Sea wasn’t as tall as Euryale’s had been, it didn’t take Felix long to reach the top. He gazed down before stepping on the nest above him; he had missed this. He had missed this a lot. The wind in his hair, pulling his clothes, the whole world below his feet and opening ahead of him. Felix took in a breath, held it for a moment before swinging his leg inside the crow’s nest and hauling himself in it. 

“Morning, sailor.” An old, wavering voice reached Felix’s ears. Ah, of course, Felix wasn’t alone. On the other side of the flagpole sat an old man, clearly from the oldest end of the crew.   
“Good morning. The quartermaster told me to come let you out of your misery.” The old man let out a hearty laugh:  
“I do not believe you have the power to do that.” For a moment Felix wondered if the man was even capable of standing up yet alone descending the shrouds back to the main deck, but then again, he had got up there somehow, so he most likely could get down, too. 

“Sit down with me for a moment, will you?” It wasn’t like Felix had much of a choice. He had been ordered for a look-out shift in case of any pirates, so he just couldn’t leave. He sat down next to the old man, facing the way they were sailing. The old man handed him the spyglass, which Felix took.   
“You’re the talk of the boat, you know that?” Felix swallowed. Had the man told what Felix had done last night?   
“I could guess that.” Felix quietly responded before glancing the old man next to him. He had an eyepatch covering his other eye, large, old scars slitting his face. The wrinkles shadowed his brown skin, but somehow, they made him look graceful. He had seen everything the world had to offer. 

“What brings you here? You’re not an ordinary son of a servant, don’t even try to tell me that. You have too much elegance in you.” Felix bit the inner skin of his lower lip. Yeah. What brought him here? Even he himself hadn’t had time to think an answer for that question during these few days.   
“Freedom.”   
“That’s a great answer, but I’d love for you to be a little more specific.” Felix now noticed the little hint of an accent in the man’s speech. He wasn’t English. Or at least he hadn’t been born in there.   
“Getting away from responsibilities. Suffocation.”   
“So you are a novelty. Where have you sailed before? Not in the navy, I presume since you are so young.” 

Felix glanced the man once again. The man was looking at him, and now Felix noticed them: the faint hints of white crosses next to his eyes, blending in with the spots left by the world.   
“Entertain me a little, young one. It’s not every day we get new sailors like you on this ship.”   
“Felix. My name is Felix.” For a moment the man looked somewhat confused as if he was trying to latch on a distant memory before his face lit up again:   
“Felix. The son of Charles Lee.” The man’s mouth widened to a little grin. It wasn’t threatening. Felix nodded. 

“Oh my boy! Do have I heard tales of you! They whisper of you all the way in London!” Felix arched his eyebrow. He had known there were rumors, but tales? In London? Wow. Perhaps Eric had heard a few. And then the terror set in – fuck. Now the man knew his name. He most likely knew he shouldn’t be here.   
“Do not worry, I won’t give away your identity to rest of the crew.” As if the man had read his thoughts.   
“What tales do they speak of me?” Felix quietly asked. He glanced at the open vast in front of him, the deep blue glimmering in the sunlight. 

“You were kidnapped on a stormy night in Nassau, half of the city was torn down. Your father hunted after you for months before finding Euryale and rescuing you before tearing it to pieces.”   
“And?” Felix felt like there was more to it.   
“And after that, you were quite never the same. They whisper that they did some unspeakable things to you, witchcraft involved. Something that changed you entirely, that the sun from your smile was gone. Something that made you become one of them, bloodlust in your veins.” 

Felix remained silent. So that’s what they whispered about? That he had been forced to become a pirate.  
“Some tales tell that you never really fancied living in Nassau, some say that you hated your father and the crown and that’s why you became a pirate. Some even say that the whole kidnapping was planned by you. But all of the stories end the same way; that after you were rescued, you changed.” 

Felix was still silent, his eyes fixated on the horizon. Perhaps he had bloodlust in his veins. Perhaps he had never fancied living in Nassau. He most definitely hated his father. And the crown.   
“What changed you? What did they do to you, Felix?”   
“I fell in love.” 

The man hummed. Felix swallowed the lump in his throat down. He had never mentioned it out loud. He had fallen in love during those two months, that’s what had happened. That’s what had changed.   
“Then I suppose ‘rescuing’ isn’t the correct term here.”   
“No. It isn’t.”   
“Who were they? I’ve heard the crew of Euryale was one of the fiercest and youngest among these seas.”  
“The son of the captain.” Changbin. Felix didn’t dare to mention his name. He knew that the moment it would roll off his tongue all the old wounds would be ripped apart and the tears would break free. It still fit his mouth so perfectly. It fit in his mouth like it was meant to do that. 

“I see. The tales might be all wrong, then. They usually are.” This time, Felix hummed in turn:  
“Not all wrong. I do hate my father. I dislike the crown. I did change. But not by any unspeakable things or witchcraft.”   
“And that hatred is the reason you have fled from home?” The man asked.   
“That, among other things. I just don’t belong on land.”   
“Oceanbound.”  
“Exactly.” Felix whispered. 

“What are you planning next?” The man continued. His voice was soothing. He didn’t think of Felix as a monster. He didn’t think of him as any less than any other crewmember. Even if he had fallen in love with a pirate. Felix shrugged:  
“I’ll try to board a ship in Tortola. Perhaps sail to Europe or to East Indies. Anywhere is fine.” Any other than this ship, Felix thought, but didn’t say it out loud.   
“Tortola isn’t the busiest city, but it does have a few merchant ships stopping by every month. I think you could board one of them, they always welcome new workers.”  
“Do you know where they are headed?”   
“One travels to London, one to East Indies, one sails around the Caribbean. It stops by Nassau and Port Royal, don’t board that one if you do not wish to return to those places.”   
Felix nodded:   
“Thank you.” 

A moment of silence fell. It seemed like the man had no more questions. He now knew the story of Felix, how he had ended up here, and now he was the only one to know the truth of what had actually happened on Euryale. Since all of the other witnesses were part of the ocean waves now. Gone. But not forgotten. At least not to Felix. 

“What is your story, then?” Felix asked. He glanced at the white crosses, little x’s circling the man’s wrists, his face, his neck.   
“Ah, you noticed. I thought they were faded enough.”   
“I’ve seen a few of those marks in my life. Do the others know that you are a witch?” Felix leaned his head against the mast. He let his skin soak in the sunlight, the warmth. The man’s presence stiffened for a moment before relaxing again; Felix wasn’t a threat to him.  
“They don’t, and I would prefer it that way. My days on this earth are numbered and I’d rather die peacefully in my sleep than by being hauled overboard by crewsmen that fear witches.” Felix nodded.   
“Was there a witch aboard Euryale?” The man asked, clearly curious. 

“There was. He just didn’t have the crosses.” Felix’s chest hurt. God, how he missed Minho, too. His soft laughter, his wild eyes.   
“Ah, the crosses only appear after a certain moment using magic is passed. It differs with every witch.”   
“Do the colors differ, too? I’ve seen both black and white crosses.” 

The man remained silent for a moment.   
“White crosses mean that the magic used is pure. It comes from the sorcerer’s soul. Black crosses mean blood magic. The energy is drawn from other people’s souls.” The piece of information sent a shiver down Felix’s spine. The woman on the beach and Captain Kai’s quartermaster both had had black crosses underneath their eyes. Felix nodded, once again. He hadn’t expected that, but honestly, it made sense. 

“My story isn’t nearly as interesting as yours. I have sailed among pirates as well as underneath the many crowns of the Caribbean. I lived in Curacao before I boarded a merchant ship when I was young. After that I have just traveled the world, strengthened my magic, fought in a few battles and fell in love on one of the many isles of East Indies. He died of some sickness five years after I moved in with him. Then I left for the seas again. I have seen the world, all of it. Now I am just waiting for my soul to take its place in Davy Jones’ locker.” 

Felix didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything, just nodded. He wondered if his life would go along the same tracks, if he would end up boarding countless of ships without a clear heading or vision of his future. Perhaps. It was better than staying in Nassau. Better than staying still. 

“Jack!” A yell resonated from the main deck.   
“Ah, that would be my cue to go. Good talk, Felix. Thank you for trusting me.” Felix hummed in response. The man rose up, clearly wobbling a bit. He braced himself against the handrail before hauling his legs over it. 

“Oh, and Felix? This crew is farthest from friendly and they can get pretty vicious. I think it would be best for you to find someone to dine with. Someone to rely on. Someone to show the rest that you are not alone.” Felix glanced up at the man. His eye was soft golden in the sunlight. It had a hint of a glint to it. Felix understood the invitation.   
“Thank you. I will.” He quirked the corner of his lip at the man. 

*** 

Felix listened to the rain thrumming against the deck above him. He wished it would lull him to sleep like it had done numerous times before, but now, he just couldn’t sleep. He remembered the last time it had rained like this all too well and clearly. Only then it hadn’t been nighttime, it had been a grey afternoon. Or at least it seemed grey in Felix’s memories. Grey and red. Blood red. 

For the first time in a while, Felix had time to think. He didn’t have to focus on anything or anyone. He wasn’t scared, he wasn’t exhausted as he had been on the past days. The old man had kept his invitation, and with that invitation Felix had dragged his mattress close to the old man’s hammock. As soon as the other crewmembers noticed that Felix had found himself a friend, they somewhat left him alone. The man, Jack, was respected among the crew, and they wouldn’t dare to come at Felix as long as he was underneath the man’s wing. Felix was grateful for that, he really was, otherwise there could have ended up being a bloodshed and Felix would have been hauled overboard because he couldn’t take any more disrespecting, disgusting comments. 

But now Felix had time to think. And it scared him. He feared thinking. He loathed every single second he had time too much in his hands and he wasn’t occupied enough to let his mind wander. Because when he had too much time to think, his mind went back to the time three years ago, and to all the pain he had endured after that. His mind went back to the time three years ago, when he had played chess against the captain, Changbin’s eyes on his back (Felix hadn’t even realized back then that he had already piqued Changbin’s interest). Three years ago, when he had sat around that round table in Tortuga, laughing into his cup of port wine at something Jisung said. Three years ago, when Hyunjin had smiled at him and Felix had been so spellbound that he had blurted out his name accidentally. Three years ago, when he had still been happy. 

And then everything had come crashing down, and deep down Felix knew he should be slowly getting over the whole thing, but he just wasn’t. He didn’t know if it was his mother’s passing, his father turning crueler than whirlpools, all of his friends dying because of his father, and in a way, because of him or all of them together, but these three years just hadn’t healed him. Or perhaps they had. Felix didn’t cry all the time anymore. Oh no, he had turned into this empty shell that let all of the emotions just burst out when no one was looking. Was that healing? Felix really doubted that. 

Perhaps he would have healed, if he didn’t feel like such a huge part of him was missing. Like his whole identity had been ripped from him in the span of one night. Felix wasn’t really the one to believe in soulmates or two people being bound to each other via fate, but just… something in him was missing. And he knew, of course he knew, that that thing missing had eyes deeper than the ocean. 

Perhaps he would have healed, if Nassau and Port Royal had treated him well. Like he was part of them, at least either of them. If Felix was being fair, Port Royal had never been so bad. He just didn’t belong in there. He didn’t belong behind a desk, writing new tax reports every day, sticking to same old routines every day. But the people, oh the people. Even if Felix would have managed his daily tasks, the people sure did remind him that he was not part of them, he didn’t belong among them. And Felix needed something new, he needed something thrilling, he needed that rush and that sense of belonging and that was something neither Port Royal nor Nassau could give to him. 

So he had packed his bags and left, and now he was on a ship that certainly was not the best decision he had ever made, but in a way, it was better than Port Royal. It was better than being stuck. At least he had the wind in his hair, at least the longing for the sea had finally been quenched. Perhaps he could find himself a ship that he would actually like, a crew that would welcome him aboard, and perhaps he could finally start healing. 

That’s what his friends would have wanted, Felix felt that. That’s what Changbin would have wanted. For Felix to not get stuck. For him to be free. For him to sail across the worlds, them accompanying him in the waves, in the wind, in every drop of water. For him to be even somewhat happy. 

Oh, the times he had longed for his friends. Felix would have given anything to see them once more. Just to hear their laughter once more. Just to feel that he belonged somewhere once more. Felix blinked the lone tear away as he stared at the ceiling. He could heal, but not here, not in Port Royal, and not in Nassau. He hoped for that. He wished that. He needed the ocean waves below his feet to heal. 

Felix had nearly drifted to a dreamless haze, until he heard shuffling outside, with something that clearly sounded like a sword being unsheathed. Felix shot up from his mattress, gabbing his knife from his pocket. He didn’t have a sword, and dear god how he prayed he wouldn’t need one. Everyone else around him was sleeping soundly. Then another fumble, another sword, someone fell down, and finally; 

“Pirates! Pirates! We are being attack- ack!” All the blood in Felix’s body seized. He could hear someone screaming on the main deck, and then the world around him awoke from its sleepy slumber, and all of a sudden, chaos erupted.   
“Pirates! They have crept up on us!” 

Pirates. Felix breathed in. Pirates. There were pirates on the ship. They were under attack. Felix was in danger. Yet none of his survival instincts were telling him to move, to get out, to fight for his life. He just stood there, eyes transfixed on the doorway to the main deck as the crewmembers ran out of it to fight for their ship. Felix knew he should have felt scared, he should have felt threatened, but he didn’t. He just didn’t. They were pirates. They were men, just like any other. 

A gun blasted off, Felix awoke from the moment and returned to the present. He glanced to his side, and found the old man Jack awake, looking at him:   
“Go.” He whispered, and Felix knew, he knew that the man didn’t mean for him to go fight. 

Felix gripped the knife in his hand, took his satchel and threw it over his shoulder before running to the door. 

The sight in front of him forced Felix to stop in his tracks. It set a sense of panic in Felix, and he had to push it away (he had seen this before, on a rainy day like this, and oh, how he could not think about that right now, he didn’t have time). Pirates and sailors everywhere, swords clanking, throats gurgling. The deck was wet from the rain, and the blood gushing out of the dead sailor’s wounds made it seem like the whole deck was pooling with it, mixing in with the water. The sailors of the crown were terribly overpowered. Swords clanked, glimmered in the torchlight. There was something familiar about the pirates. Felix was in a haze, he felt like he was moving in slow-motion as he ducked from underneath one attack. He glanced to his right, where he could see the silhouette of a ship, bigger than The Lady of the Sea, a man-o-war. There was something familiar about it. No wonder not even the look-out had noticed them creeping up on the ship, it was pitch black out, the clouds covering the moonlight, and the ship didn’t have any lights on. As if it was sailing in a mist. 

And then the realization set in. Cold as the deep dread inside Felix. 

Scylla. 

Felix swallowed a lump in his throat. He didn’t have a choice, did he? 

A man Felix recognized to be part of the crew ran towards him, a pirate running after the man. Felix looked the pirate behind the man right in the eyes as he stuck his leg out to trip the running man, before he hid himself in the shadows below the stairs to the foredeck. The fight didn’t last for long, and Felix did absolutely nothing to stop it, as the pirate plunged his sword through the man’s chest. Before he would have felt sorry, he would have felt guilty, but now? He just didn’t. He stared at the sight in front of him, no other feelings awake than hope. He had to get out of here. 

Scylla. Scylla was attacking The Lady of the Sea. 

Soon the coughing, the gurgling, the screaming stopped, the crew of the Lady of the Sea didn’t stand a chance against the pirates of Scylla. Felix still kept himself hidden, as he could hear a few people stomping over the plank between the ships. He had to come up with a plan. He had to get on board Scylla.   
“All dead?”  
“Most.” Felix glanced from in between the steps and found a few crewmembers on their knees, arms high in the middle of the main deck.   
“Get the cargo. We can sell it in Tortuga. Take everything, including food, water and rum. Everything.” Someone ordered. 

“Hey! Looks like there’s one more!” A voice called out and before Felix could register anything, he was yanked from his hideout from the back of his neck, harshly. He winced as the strings of his shirt dug into his throat. He was dragged to the middle of the deck, before the pirate behind him pushed him to his knees, next to the quartermaster of The Lady of the Sea.   
“Arms up.” And Felix did as he was told, and held his arms up. The pirate took his knife from him. 

“What shall we be doing with these?”   
“Kill them?”  
“What do you think the captain wants?”  
“That they’re killed? Are you stupid? No survivors. Captain Kai’s orders. Always.” 

The mention of Captain Kai sent shivers down Felix’s spine. Scylla. The fucking Scylla was in front of him, and Felix was panicking finally, and he was about to get fucking killed. 

“Well. Alright.” The man in front of Felix voiced and without saying anything else, sliced the third kneeling man’s head off of his shoulders before he had time to even utter a word. Felix noticed that instead of a normal sword, the pirate was wielding a katana. Then he moved in front of the quartermaster next to Felix.  
“No, no, please no, take everything, just leave me be, I want to live, take everything, I won’t say anything, don’t-“   
“Too much talking.” And Felix closed his eyes, he tried to shut off all of his senses, to block his hearing as the katana swished through the air into the man’s neck. The blood splattering on Felix’s face made him want to vomit, warm and sticky. A thud, a sound of rolling. Felix’s mouth tasted like acid as the quartermaster slumped against his side. Dead. Like Lyanna.

“And then this one.” Felix panicked, the survival instinct kicking in:   
“N-no, please, no, I’m not a sailor, I’m not part of the crew, I don’t sail underneath the crown!” He practically yelled. His plan was not going so well (not that it existed in the first place). He noticed the hesitation in the man’s face, in the quiver of his katana.   
“I… I’m a pirate! Just like you!”   
“You’re just trying to save yer ass.”   
“I sailed with Euryale! I’m one of Captain Seo’s men! I’m a pirate, I promise!” Felix screamed, closed his eyes again to face the inevitable, but before he could say anything else, he heard a voice. 

“Halt.” A voice, purring, lower than the depths of the ocean. It required for everyone’s attention. Felix opened his eyes. Steps, heavy and full of dignity approached them.   
“C-captain, we were just about to-!“ The katana man mumbled as he bowed his head lightly. (“Euryale? Captain Seo? Is he really?” Felix could hear the whispers all around the deck.)   
“I know. Good job. Get the cargo out.” 

“I will handle this one.” And then, Captain Kai stepped out from the shadows to the torchlight. Felix shivered. 

“And we shall finally meet again, Felix Lee.” Felix noticed the light curl of the captain’s lips, like a cat. The dark eyes pierced through him, made him waver. Just like back in Rum Point. The man looked like he hadn’t changed at all from that.   
“C-c-captain Kai.” Felix stammered.   
“You have a reputation, you know. You’re famous. People wonder what happened to you after your father sunk Euryale.” Captain Kai’s voice was graceful. Cunning. Felix swallowed. He had nothing to say.   
“The sole survivor of that mess. And now you are here. You are far away from home, Felix Lee.”   
“My home lies at the bottom of the ocean in front of San Juan.” Felix got the sudden surge of courage as he whispered the words to Captain Kai. He looked the man in the eyes, fiery as embers. Captain Kai’s lips curled to a grin. 

“I see. Stand up.” Felix scrambled up and let his arms down. Captain Kai was significantly taller than he was.   
“Give the boy his knife.” And the man behind the captain gave Felix his knife.   
“I suppose you know how to sail.” Captain Kai eyed Felix up and down. It was more of a statement than a question.   
“I do.”   
“Welcome aboard Scylla, then. Don’t be scared of the ghosts, they won’t hurt you unless you hurt them.” 

Felix couldn’t process what he had just heard. Nor the next sentence he heard:

“Gather the cargo! Sink the Ship! And after that, all sails towards Tortuga!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my, my, my, what have we here! our beloved captain kai! i for some reason love him as a side character so much, i'm so excited to show y'all a little more of him! this chapter was quite a speedy one, but our lil oceanbound does not have time to dwell right now. also i'd like to thank you all for the overwhelming amount of comments to the past two chapters, idk what else to say than THANK YOU and just stick with me alright.... trust the tags, stick with me. i love u all, mwah!


	34. 34

Scylla. 

Fiercest of them all. 

Deadliest of them all. 

And to Felix, scariest of them all. 

Oh no, Scylla wasn’t hateful. It didn’t want to engulf Felix alive nor throw him overboard nor kill him, it wasn’t that kind of scary. It wasn’t threatening. 

She was quiet. She was the darkest before the dawn embodied. Everything Felix had thought he had known of that ship that had ravaged the many islands of Caribbean were wrong. The crew spoke in hushed tones. In cunning grins. In gazes that Felix, for some reason, understood all too well. She didn’t bask in her power, she was quiet, deadly, like a snake hunting its prey. 

And the shadows, oh, the shadows. First night Felix had spent on Scylla, he had fallen asleep with a shadow sitting at the end of his mattress. It wasn’t a threatening shadow, simply curious. Felix hadn’t been afraid. He had thought it was just his exhaustion making him see things. And he could only see the shadow when he was just about to close his eyes. 

The shadows were in the corners, in the breaths of the wind, they could never be directly seen. When Captain Kai had told Felix to not fear the ghosts, Felix hadn’t understood what he meant. When Felix had accidentally struck his knife through a shadow’s chest yesterday morning when he had got scared by that shadow on his way to the storage deck, he had merely heard a  
“Careful, boy. We are not you enemy” whispering in the wind, and he had finally understood what Captain Kai had meant. 

Ghosts. On a pirate ship. The logical part in Felix knew he should have been scared to his very core, but he wasn’t. Only a little bit of shaken. There were mermaids, sirens, seamonsters, of course there would be ghosts in the world. Dark shadows. Everywhere. 

Scylla was a man-o-war, bigger than what Euryale had been, roughly the same size as Victory. She had been a warship under some other captain, turned to a privateer ship sailing underneath the English crown, until Captain Kai had finally had enough of that life and turned to piracy. Turning to piracy had clearly meant turning to something… else too, since Felix had never heard anyone speaking of a crew made of ghosts on an English ship. And literally, made of ghosts. Felix could count roughly thirty living men on board. The rest were shadows, and if the crew was anything close to the size of man-o-wars, that meant thirty, forty, fifty ghosts. Fifty souls. 

Scylla was painted dark, ashy brown, nearly black. Her gray sails were filled with wind even if the wind was nothing but a tiny zephyr. She had two decks of cannons compared to Euryale’s one, the third deck was the storage deck, and under that was the brig. Instead of the forecastle, the crew’s quarters were situated underneath the quarterdeck and the kitchen was in the forecastle. The captain’s cabin was on the quarterdeck, behind the helm. And above that, the poop deck, with a huge, silvery stern decoration looming over the ship, creating more shadows as the sun set low enough. Felix didn’t miss out the rusted red on the spikes on top of the ornament. 

Brown and silver, huh? A trendy color for pirates, so it seemed. 

Again, Felix was the deckboy.  
“Mop the decks, clean the cannons.” That’s what Captain Kai had told him yesterday the morning over the breakfast. He had breakfast with his crew, which Felix found a little odd, but the others didn’t. Or perhaps Felix was the odd one out.  
“O-okay.”  
“No need to hurry. Do it on your own pace. It’s gonna take us a few days to reach Tortuga, just get it done until then. A few friends will help you.” Friends on this ship meant ghosts, that’s what Felix had learned. So he had mopped the decks on his own pace, not hurrying at all. The water in his bucket had not emptied even once during that time.

“So, you sailed with Euryale?” Felix awoke from his thoughts; he had been staring into the void for the past minutes in the middle of the rather quiet kitchen. The stew he had been chewing on tasted surprisingly good.  
“I did.” Felix mumbled.  
“Sorry, I should have introduced myself, I’m Yeji.” The girl, roughly Felix’s age, with cat-like eyes, stuck her hand out. Felix took it and shook it.  
“Felix.” He mumbled again. Fuck that elegance he had still had some time ago, right?  
“I’ve just heard so many tales from it, it’s rather famous, and so are you!” The girl was glowing, smiling from ear to ear. She was nothing like the rest of the crewmembers, who were a little gloomy, a little secretive.  
“So I have been told.” 

A boy, and another girl sat down next to Yeji.  
“Sorry, she’s a curious one. I’m Lia.”  
“Lucas.” The boy’s smile brightened the whole kitchen up. For a brief moment it reminded Felix of Hyunjin and his chest hurt.  
“Don’t mind them. What was he like? Captain Seo?” Yeji continued, a glimmer in his eyes. Felix had not expected to end up in a situation like this. No one had really spoken to him during these two days apart from orders. He noticed the curious eyes the rest of the crew sent their way, and if Felix was right, these three were the youngest among the crew, excluding himself.  
“Well… he was… interesting. Distant. Scary.”  
“What was the ship like?  
“How did you heist El Salvador? Same as us? Were you in Rum Point, too?”  
“Are you really royalty? They say you’re related to the king of England!”  
“Tell us your story!” 

Felix noticed a shadow at the corner of his eye, sitting down next to him. A few sailors scooted closer to the table he was sitting at. 

Oh, heavens. This would take Felix a long while. 

*** 

“Take these to the cap” An elderly man with a long, gray beard handed Felix a few scrolls of paper. They felt heavy in his hands. Felix swallowed, a chill running down his spine. He had seen Captain Kai a few times on the ship during the past three days, but he hadn’t really talked to him.  
“Yes, sir.” Felix mumbled before he rose from the storage deck up, up, until he reached the quarter deck. Lucas was on the helm, and he gave Felix a wide smile and a nod. He was a funny one, Felix had learned that much of him. His smile lit up the whole room, but his eyes seemed… empty. 

Felix took a deep breath and knocked on the wooden doors with silvery hinges one, two, three times. The door creaked open without anyone opening it. Cool. Fancy. Not scary at all. But oh, so very on brand. 

Felix stepped into the dimness of the captain’s cabin. The air was cool, cooler than Felix had anticipated. As Felix’s eyes finally got adjusted to the darkness, he could make out the room a bit better: candles on every surface, most of them not lit. Black, heavy curtains had been drawn to cover the windows in the back, most likely leading to a balcony. Large shelves covered the wall to Felix’s left, filled with books and other miscellaneous things. To Felix’s right was an alcove, and Felix couldn’t see what was behind that wall. Perhaps the bedroom part of the room. More shelves, a bureau, a dresser that was a little open. The mirror was covered with a black cloth. 

And in the middle of the room stood a large, brown desk, filled with candles, papers and spilled ink. The candles on the table were the only ones lit in the room. And behind the desk sat Captain Kai, who seemed to glow in his red attire against the dimness of the room.  
“H-hello, I was told to bring these.” Felix muttered. Captain Kai lifted his gaze from his papers (the sight reminded Felix of the first time he had talked to Captain Seo, only Captain Kai didn’t want him dead). The captain beckoned Felix with his hand to come closer, and Felix followed. 

Then Felix noticed that they weren’t alone. Behind the desk were a few sofas, a table, and on one of those sofas sat a figure, dressed in all black, melting into the shadows. The shadow seemed to be reading something, hunched over an opened scroll of paper. And now Felix started to notice other things. A skull on the bureau. Paintings of people with black eyes. A few crystal balls, cloudy and swirling. A few shadows. A few too many spots of rusted red on the carpet. And the air? It smelled of something bitter. 

“Feel free to sit down.” Felix put down the scrolls on the table before sitting down. The armchair in front of the table was soft, the dark blue velvet of the armrests felt nice under Felix’s fingertips. Felix swallowed. The air was… eerie. He didn’t know why Captain Kai wanted him to sit down. Was there something he wanted from Felix?  
“If I wanted you dead you would be one of the shadows already.” Captain Kai mumbled, he was still writing on the paper. Felix noticed again how the ink was red. None of the inkwells on the table were red, they were black. A shiver swept down his back. 

Captain Kai finally dropped the quill next to the paper before running a hand through his inky locks, pushing them away from his face. In the candlelight Felix noticed a few scars close to his other eye, one on the corner of his mouth. So that was why he seemed to have this permanent, cat-like grin on his face. All in all, Captain Kai was still handsome as he had been back in Rum Point, his skin still seemed to drip gold, the features of his face were structured, defined like those of a Greek god’s. The color red really suited him. It was a different red from Felix’s red, Kai’s was the bloody red of a setting sun, bright and powerful, while Felix’s was more muted, more earthy. 

“What do you know about the West Indies Trading Company?” Captain Kai glanced at Felix. He leaned back on his seat and crossed his leg over the other. He exuded power, more than he had in Rum Point. He definitely knew that out of the five crews around that table back then, only the three youngest ones were alive anymore. Pirate Slayer was ruthless and had managed to take down Indigo, but Captain Kai was slyer than them. He was confident in himself, even a blind man could see that. And with his long list of victories, he had every right to be. 

“The Dutch West India Company? Not much. It’s a trade monopoly looking over the isles that Dutch has the power over. It’s not as large here as it is in the East Indies.” Felix’s voice was a little shaky. He could only imagine how he would have been if he had been sitting on that same seat three years ago.  
“Mhm. Spices?”  
“And gold, indigo, all that, the same as Los Galeones. Everything that can be found around here and transported to Europe.” 

“Are they rich?”  
“Currently, so-so. There are some conflicts on the Gold Coast in Africa, that’s holding some of the ships there and the monopoly is breaking.”  
“So, a perfect time to heist some of those ships and sink them to the bottom of the ocean?”  
“Perhaps. The Dutch have a mighty armada, though, and a quarter of those ships are in the Caribbean, looking over Dutch cities.”  
“Heist one and you get ten ships after your ass?”  
“Pretty much.”  
“Thank you, Felix. You have been even more useful than you were in Rum Point.” Captain Kai’s lips stretched to that same grin over again. Felix could feel his eyes on him. Rum Point. God. It felt like it had been a lifetime since that thing. 

“The crew’s buzzing about you. You gave them quite a lot to talk about, you know.” Felix arched his eyebrow. He hadn’t even told the whole story. Just snippets here and there. He had left out that he had lost friends who meant the world to him. He had left out that the captain had been at the brink of losing his mind over predictions, he had left out the part that could have destroyed his reputation. He had left out that he had fallen in love with the captain’s son. He had only told the nice parts. The ones that didn’t make him cry in front of the infamous crew of Captain Kai.  
“I guess I did.” After all, no one knew what had happened on that ship. How Charles Lee had destroyed it, took Felix, and after that, exploded it. Now at least a few people knew. 

“Curious thing, love, that is.” Felix swallowed. He didn’t even question the man in front of him seeing through him.  
“It is.”  
“How’s your father?”  
“I don’t know. I don’t care. The last time I saw him was over half of a year ago.”  
“So you haven’t been spending your time in Nassau?” Felix didn’t know if Captain Kai was asking these questions to familiarize himself with Felix, or to just spend time and annoy him.  
“No. I was in Port Royal.”  
“Training to be the next governor?” The grin stretched, reached Captain Kai’s eyes. He had mockery laced in his voice.  
“Exactly.”  
“What made you leave?” 

The last time Felix had answered to that question, he had answered it to that old man Jack up in the crow’s nest of The Lady of the Sea. The man was now lying in the bottom of the ocean with that ship. Felix didn’t feel sorry for him. Jack had known it, he had even told Felix his days were soon to end. He had known he would die that night as Scylla heisted the ship. Felix swallowed, words felt like they were getting caught to his throat:  
“Do you want a list? My father announced I would have to marry someone next autumn. I hated writing tax reports. I hated my life, I felt like suffocating, like I didn’t belong. Everyone around me saw me as a pirate, not as the future governor of Nassau, so I just decided to give them what they wanted.” 

Captain Kai hummed in return.  
“So your days inevitably did not lie in the King’s Haven after all.” Felix’s breath got caught in his throat. A shuddering realization seeped into his bones, seized his blood.  
“What?” He croaked. Captain Kai’s eyes flickered as he leaned forwards.  
“Sounded familiar? I know everything that goes around these seas, Felix.” 

Felix had absolutely nothing to say. He had mostly forgotten those words, said by the woman in the little village of Rum Point with an otherworldly voice. King’s Haven. Port Royal. His leaving was all written in the stars. Inevitable. Felix didn’t belong there. 

He was going to the right direction, going towards the unknown, somewhere where he would once again belong. It set a fire of comfort inside Felix. He didn’t belong in Port Royal. He didn’t belong in Nassau, not any of these islands under any crowns. He belonged to the sea. 

The figure behind Captain Kai stood up and handed a scroll of paper over to him. Captain Kai finally lifted his gaze from Felix and turned to take the paper, studying it. It had some odd-looking runes drawn on it.  
“Thank you, Sehun. Do you mind giving me the book of the unknown maps from the shelf.”  
“Yes, love.” The voice was nothing but a whisper in the air. Felix could hear it everywhere around him, like it floated around the room. For a moment the figure’s features were exposed by the candlelight, and as Felix had guessed, he had seen the man before. He had seen the witch before. 

Captain Kai’s quartermaster, from Rum Point. With black crosses below his eyes, running down his neck in two rows, his skin white as a sheet of paper. Black crosses. Blood magic. No wonder for the shadows. No wonder the ship was like this, the crew spoke in hushed tones and Captain Kai was so feared. The captain smirked at Felix once the witch – Sehun returned and handed him the book he had been asking for. Felix didn’t miss out the way Sehun’s hand swept over Captain Kai’s shoulder, and now Felix understood. It wasn’t just that the English crown was hanging their own privateers, accusing them of privacy, that had made Captain Kai turn to piracy, was it? Love was a curious thing, indeed. 

“We’ll be reaching Tortuga by nightfall, Felix. I think you should go get ready.” Felix nodded and rose from his seat. His legs felt a little wobbly. His blood was rushing, he could hear his heart beating. Perhaps Captain Kai wasn’t as intimidating as the stories made him out to be, but his quartermaster sure as hell was.  
“Thank you for your help.” Felix nodded again and padded over to the door, the soft rug rustling under his feet. He tried to seem like he wasn’t in a hurry, like he didn’t want to get out of that dim little room with a scary witch that used blood magic in it. 

“Oh and Felix?” Felix turned around, his hand already on the handle. Captain Kai’s eyes seemed to soften a little in the candle glow.  
“Goodbye. Until we meet again.” 

** 

Tortuga. 

City of thieves and rogues. In front of Felix once again. 

There was a lump stuck in Felix’s throat, not a very bad one, but he could feel it. Oh, it had been three years since he had stepped on this soil and walked through these streets. Something about the whole scenery seemed so familiar, Felix felt a sense of safety as his feet padded over the broken cobblestones of the main street. And then he glanced over to a side street, and remembered, that this was Tortuga, and there was no safety in it. It was an enigma. A mystery Felix would never understand. 

Yeji and Lia walked in front of Felix, chit-chatting, laughing every now and then. Both of them were nice, Felix could say that much of them. Last night Felix had moved his mattress next to their bunk bed, as Yeji had insisted him to do that. She had an effervescent personality, as if she couldn’t be contained nor confined. She was like the sea, with her wild, dark brown hair and Cheshire cat grin, that’s how Lia had said it. Lia, on the other hand, with her long, black hair and noble features, was quite the opposite. She was calm, serene. Her laughter was soft, her whole demeanor was soft, it lacked sharp edges. Yeji and Lia complemented each other in a way Felix couldn’t really understand. Nevertheless, it was beautiful.

Lucas walked beside Felix, and Felix had to take longer steps in order to match the other boy’s steps. The boy was babbling some nonsense about the rumors surrounding Pirate Slayer, which Felix knew were bullshit, but he didn’t want to stop the other from talking. It was nice to hear Lucas talk. He was so… lively. He smiled with the power of a thousand suns, his laughter filled the room immediately, he talked with his hands, motioning vividly. 

He reminded Felix of Jisung. Only Jisung wasn’t a head taller than Felix. Hadn’t been. 

But this was nice. Felix had someone to talk to. Someone to eat with, someone to sit on the bannister with and stare at the sea. These three were his friends now, Felix guessed. Yeah. Friends. It was nice to have friends again. It was nice to have people that didn’t judge Felix for what he had been before. Friends. 

“You’re a quiet one, huh?” Lucas’ sudden question shook Felix back to the moment, back to their walk across the little town of Tortuga.  
“Hmn. I guess.” Felix shrugged. Never had anyone said that to him before. Sure, he was observant and a little quiet at first, but once he was comfortable, he was rather talkative. No one had ever told him that he was actually quiet, though. Perhaps he had changed. Perhaps he didn’t feel like talking anymore. Felix didn’t know.  
“That’s ok, I’ll speak for the both of us, then!” Lucas smiled, that wide grin shining in the setting sun of Tortuga. Felix gently smiled back at him. 

Evening was slowly approaching. The shadows on the ground seemed to lengthen, some clouds drifting over the sky. The clouds promised a night full of raindrops. The air felt heavy, a little tense, and Felix wasn’t sure if it was just the usual Tortuga, or if the rain would be accompanied by thunder.  
“Hey! I want to visit that place!” Yeji exclaimed as she took Lia by her hand and dragged her to a little boutique. For a moment it reminded Felix of the witch’s shop, but then he realized they were on a different side of the town. 

Felix stepped in after the girls and was met with a smell of something musky and deep. The shop seemed to be some sort of a souvenir shop, or a thrift shop – Felix could see literally everything littering the shelves and tables. Magnifying glasses here, a mirror there, crystal balls, jewelry, books, more books, clothes, hats, even shoes, scrolls of paper, maps… everything. The shop itself was rather well illuminated; the large windows gave enough light for Felix to zigzag through the numerous shelves. Lucas followed after him, like a lost puppy. 

“Evening, ladies and gents! What can I do for you?” A high-pitched voice called out from the back. Felix could see a man standing behind a counter, with a large hat covering his greying hair. His beard was magnificent.  
“Do you have any sashes? Or shirts, I could use a new one!” Felix recognized Yeji’s voice.  
“We do, over here, miss…” The voices traveled further into the shop, receding from Lucas and Felix. Lucas was hunched over some bottled ships on a desk, clearly interested in them (Felix could figure that out since he had stopped talking). Felix approached a shelf, filled with books. He swallowed as he let his fingers gently sweep over the backs of the books. 

Until they stopped on a rather familiar book. El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha. Felix’s heartstrings stung, he sighed and pushed the memory away, he just could not do that right now. Not in front of Lucas. Not in this shop. He moved on and squatted down to see the books on the lower shelf. They were mostly covered in dust, clearly less wanted than the books above. 

One book caught his interest, or rather, stood out from the rest. Mr. William Shakespeare’s Comedies, Histories and Tragedies. Felix had seen the book before, he knew it had been one of his mother’s favorite books. And how could it not be, after all, William Shakespeare was considered the author of their time. Felix grabbed the book and pulled it out of its place. It was rather odd to see such a popular book in such a place. But after all, this was Tortuga, and pirates most likely did not give two shits about literature classics. 

“That looks boring.” Lucas commented.  
“It is boring.” Felix answered as he took it to the counter to pay it. He needed this book, even though he damn well knew he was most likely never going to read it again himself. It reminded him of his mother. It reminded Felix of Changbin, in a way. Changbin would have adored this book. Felix swallowed again, the dull ache in his chest gripping a little harder, the lump growing bigger. Not here. Not now. 

The man, who Felix assumed to be the owner of the shop trotted from where he had been helping the girls to pick out some new clothes to stand behind the counter.  
“Ah! A book for the young man! That would be twenty bucks.” Felix nodded and fished the money from his satchel. He had taken it with him, just in case, Captain Kai’s “goodbye” rung in his ears. Felix didn’t understand what the man had meant by that, but then again, he didn’t really understand the man at all to begin with. 

Felix stuffed the book into his satchel with a quick mumble of “thank you”. He had almost all of his belongings with him, which wasn’t a lot. His jacket and hat he had left in Scylla. Yeji bought herself a new silk sash, deep blue in color. Soon they exited the shop back to the main street of Tortuga, still bustling as ever as the sun descended behind the horizon. 

Tortuga itself hadn’t changed at all. The marketplace had still been filled with stalls, every stall odder than the other, yells and screams had resonated through the air even before Felix’s feet had hit the dock planks of the pier. The night brought with itself the eeriness of the city, the townfolks gathered around pubs, taverns and brothels, some more hateful than the other. Pirates, so many of them. Felix heard a gun going off on one of the side streets, and he knew better than to look that way. Screaming. Restlessness. Felix could feel it in the air. 

“I’m starving, let’s go eat something.” Yeji voiced. Felix hummed in agreement, so did Lia.  
“The places here are full, let’s go check out the side streets.” Lucas said, and so they did. Felix hid himself in his shadow. The others didn’t seem to notice the atmosphere changing, but then again, they had visited Tortuga more than Felix had, they were most likely used to it, the staring eyes from the corners of the alleyways, the laughter, the whispers. And they did live in a ship full of ghosts, and technically, so did Felix now, too, so perhaps he would eventually get used to it. 

They passed by a few pubs and taverns, all filled to the brim. Tortuga seemed to be even more bustling than usual, or at least from what Felix could remember. And it wasn’t a surprise, the docks had been full of ships, some crews were afraid to leave for the seas with the Pirate Slayer still out there. A little bit of ironic. Felix lost the count how many times they turned from an alley to another. 

And then he heard a scream from somewhere far away. 

And he turned, as if spellbound, towards the scream. 

“Felix?” He could hear Lia calling out for him, but his mind was focused entirely on something else.  
“I think… I think I heard someone. I- I need to go.” Felix clutched his satchel, his breath got stuck in his throat. The world around was coming crashing down.  
“Oh, okay. We’ll be in this tavern right here, come find us when you’re… done.” Felix pretended to glance at the pub, pretended to memorize it, but the truth was that he couldn’t focus on that.  
“Yeah, I’ll come, bye.” And with that, he was off. 

That scream, oh my god, Felix had heard that scream before, it brought back so, so, so many memories, such painful memories, the last time he had heard it was on Euryale, blood pooling on the decks, his own veins filled with terror, and Felix started to run towards that scream, he passed by an alley, another, someone laughed, but not at him. 

And then he lost track. He turned from another alley to another, even darker street. The sunlight was gone, nothing but the moon, hanging low above the horizon, illuminating his way. Felix could hear his heart pounding, his hands were clammy, he was shaking. He turned, he turned around again, trying to search for the source of the scream, it came from somewhere here, it had to be somewhere here. 

And then he heard it again. It was still far away, it echoed everywhere around Felix. And he could make out words.  
“Stay away from me!” 

Felix turned around and ran, and he ran, his lungs burned, someone called out to him, someone laughed again, another screech but not the one Felix was looking for, the scream, it was somewhere here, Felix could feel it, he could feel the presence, oh my god, he could feel it filling every fiber of his being.  
“Get back!” And suddenly the voice was so close, so so close, Felix turned from another corner and stumbled on something, falling face first into the mud. His knees collided against the ground, making Felix wince in pain. His wrist felt like it was on flames. 

He glanced back and noticed he hadn’t stumbled on something. He had stumbled on someone. 

Someone who had had his eyes gouged out, laying lifelessly on the ground with a halo of blood around his head. 

Felix scrambled up.  
“Get him!”  
“Don’t let him escape again!” 

And then, from between the three men, he saw inky black locks, and a face, oh so familiar, distorted with terror. Felix didn’t have time to think, he didn’t have time to act, as the figure in front of him leaped forwards and slashed with his hand, drenched in blood, towards one of the men’s face. Another man reached forwards, trying to take ahold of the boy, and he ended up ripping the boy from his hair. The boy let out a shrill screech as he lunged forwards his attacker, absolutely out of control. 

Felix couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds. Then he saw the third man take out a knife and lunging it towards the boy’s face. Felix grabbed his own and abandoned his satchel, he didn’t think, he didn’t wallow in it, he had to act. Someone close to him wailed in pain, and the next thing Felix knew, his knife slashed through the man’s neck, spilling blood everywhere. Felix pushed the gurling man off of him, kicked him to the side as he turned around. The second man was lying on the ground, too, with both of his eyes ripped from his skull, half of the skin on his face shredded to bloody pieces. 

The adrenaline pumped through Felix’s body, his ears rung, his whole being was trembling. There was only one man still remaining, with his sword drawn, approaching the boy who tried so desperately to shield himself against the stone wall behind him.  
“Get off of him!” Felix could hear himself shouting as he took a better hold of the knife in his hand and plunged it deep into the man’s neck at the same time as the boy, his hands painted in crimson, reached forwards and Felix could see, right in front of his eyes, as the sharp claws dug into the man’s face, and he let out a garbled cry as he fell to his knees. Blood splattered all around, some splashing on Felix’s face. He ripped his knife out of the man’s neck and took a step back. 

He took another step back, and then the blood-red eyes met his. 

Felix realized he was the next target.  
“No! It’s me, Felix!” The boy lunged forwards, his hands reaching for Felix’s face. Felix grabbed his wrists with vigor, his knife falling to the ground.  
“Hyunjin! Hyunjin, it’s me!” He screamed at the siren’s face, for a split second fearing for his life. The anger, the fear on the boy’s face faltered a little, his brows knitted together in confusion. 

“Hyunjin! It’s me, Felix, I’m not going to hurt you.” Felix called out again, this time lowering his voice. The hands halted, Hyunjin no longer fighting against the grip Felix had of him. Felix let go of his wrists and instead took ahold of his shoulders, shaking the boy in front of him gently.  
“Hyunjin, it’s me, I’m here, you’re safe now, the men are gone, they’re dead, you’re safe-“ Felix’s voice was shaking.  
“Felix.” The voice was nothing but a mere whisper in the air, laced with so much pain Felix could feel it gripping his heart, as if Hyunjin was in his mind trying to reach for a distant memory. His eyes seemed to focus, the blood red seeping out of them, returning to the same dark brown as Felix had always remembered them to be. 

“Felix?” Hyunjin gasped as he fell to his knees. Felix knelt down in front of him, hands still gripping his shoulders.  
“Yes, it’s me, It’s Felix, you’re safe now.”  
“You’re here?” And finally, finally Hyunjin looked him in the eyes, finally he returned to the moment, Felix could see it his eyes.  
“You’re here?” Hyunjin repeated the question, trembling. Then he reached forwards, engulfing Felix in a hug so tight Felix felt like bursting. 

A sob trembled through Hyunjin;  
“I thought, I thought I was the only one left, I thought you were gone, I thought I was all alone.” Felix couldn’t help but hug the boy back, tears welling up in his eyes.  
“You’re alive?” He could hear himself whispering into Hyunjin’s shoulder, as if he himself could not believe it. Like this was some sick prank his brain was making him hallucinate:  
“I thought you we’re dead.” Hyunjin gripped him even harder. Felix wasn’t alone? He wasn’t alone?  
“I’m not, I’ve been trying to find someone, anyone for the past three years.” He sobbed into Felix’s shirt. That tiny, tiny bit of hope that had lit up in Felix’s chest the moment he had heard Hyunjin’s scream faded out.  
“Well, you have me now, yeah? I’m here now.” Felix whispered, hugging the siren. He let his tears fall. God, he had thought he had been alone, so alone, the only one left, but Hyunjin was here, right here, in his arms. Alive. 

A gun went off a few alleys away.  
“Hyunjin, we have to get out of here, it’s not safe for you.” Felix straightened his back, reluctantly letting go of the boy. The boy nodded, Felix reached for his face to swipe the tears and the blood away, but ended up just messing him up even more. He stood up, pulling Hyunjin along with him. 

Then he noticed Hyunjin looking around, looking at the destruction he had created. His lower lip trembled, a tear rolled down his cheek again.  
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry I just, I just-“ He looked at his blood-soaked hands, his shirt. His shoulders wavered.  
“It’s okay, hey, it’s okay, they threatened you, didn’t they? You were only protecting yourself.” Felix couldn’t help but wonder how this attack most likely had not been the only one the siren had had to endure through these years. Poor boy. Felix felt sick to his stomach. Hyunjin hummed, but his focus seemed to be fixated on the four bodies lying around the street. Felix took him by his hand, smearing their blood on his hands as well in the process. 

“Hyunjin, look at me.” He didn’t know where he found the composure and courage to stand there and keep going, but somehow he did.  
“You were only protecting yourself, those men had bad intentions and you defended yourself.” Felix waited until Hyunjin’s eyes found his again and he nodded. Felix nodded back, as a sign of confirmation. A shrill screech pierced the air closer than Felix would have liked it to. The blood. The air smelled of blood. Tortuga loved blood.

Hyunjin was a mess, he was shaking, he was in pain, Felix noticed his shirt was a little too red on his side. He couldn’t stop the tears, and he seemed to be in a state of shock, barely listening to Felix, as if he really couldn’t believe he was standing in front of him. Felix gripped his hand and quickly took his knife from the ground along with his satchel.  
“Hyunjin?” He called out, the boy was staring into nothingness again.  
“You’re here.” The boy mumbled, gaze hazy again, eyes glossy.  
“I am. And we need to find an inn to stay for the night.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin!!! our lil siren is found!!!!! we are nearing the end, 4 chapters to go!!! i can't believe we're this far, jesus christ!! also i love you all, i'm so glad that you're all here with me, ily, mwah!! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
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	35. 35

“One room for two for the night. And bring us water and towels and anything that is needed to tend a wound.” Felix, half-carrying Hyunjin crashed through the first door leading to an inn he could see on the street. Hyunjin had slumped against Felix’s shoulder on the way to the inn. His lips were quivering, he was shivering. The lady behind the counter looked somewhat puzzled, somewhat confused, so Felix quickly pulled out his money pouch.   
“Fifty bucks.” She mumbled, and Felix thanked the lords that this was Tortuga and no one asked questions. He could hear a few people around him talking, sitting around the tables of the pub, and Felix could feel a few of them staring at the back of his head. 

As Felix handed her the money, she called out to someone in the room behind the counter in a language Felix didn’t understand.  
“Follow me.” She then turned and lead Felix and Hyunjin to a dark hallway and up the stairs. Hyunjin was heavy, but the adrenaline rushing in Felix’s veins kept them both from falling down. The lady, dressed in a red, long dress lead them to the last room in the hallway and opened the door. It smelled a little musty, a little dusty, it most likely hadn’t been used that much lately. The lady lit up a few candles and lanterns in the room as Felix laid Hyunjin down on the bed on the other side of the room.   
“Anything else for you two?” The lady sounded disinterested.   
“Food. Water.”   
“Those cost extra.”   
“I don’t care! Just bring everything I asked!” Felix turned to face the lady, and yes, he knew he should have not yelled and he knew the lady was not at fault for Hyunjin being in that condition but god! Could she hurry and read the room a little! 

The lady, now looking somewhat annoyed simply nodded and marched out of the room.   
“Felix.” Hyunjin whispered, clearly in pain. Felix helped him to sit up as he peeled off the shirt that was drenched in blood and sweat. Felix prayed to whichever god out there that all of the blood wasn’t Hyunjin’s, otherwise they would have a bigger problem.   
“I’m here, we’ll patch it up, don’t worry.” Felix tried to keep his voice steady, even though the amount of blood spewing from the wound had him panicking. 

It didn’t take long for the lady to return with a bucket of water, some towels, gauze, a bottle of some sort of alcohol and some thread and a needle.  
“Here you go. The rest will be brought to you shortly.”  
“Thank you.” Felix nodded and waved the lady off. He then turned back to Hyunjin and dunked one of the towels in the bucket of water before gently dabbing it over the wound on his side. Hyunjin moaned in pain, and all of a sudden it struck Felix, that he had been in a similar situation before. Just with the roles reversed. He swallowed and pushed the thought away. 

The wound wasn’t as severe as Felix had thought, thank goodness. Felix, as quickly as he could, patched it up while constantly murmuring to Hyunjin that he was here and he was safe (and Felix really really really hoped he was right and there was no danger lying somewhere within the walls of the inn, it was a little suspicious that it wasn’t as crowded as the rest but hey, they were somewhat far from the center of the city). After Felix was done wrapping the gauze around Hyunjin’s torso, he took another towel and cleaned Hyunjin’s face, hands, every place he still had blood on. 

So many little cuts, so many little bruises. Felix swallowed, he didn’t want to know how the boy had ended up with so many of them. Hyunjin had sort of an apologetic look on his face, and just as he was about to say something, Felix shook his head.   
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it right now.” Not right now. He had thought Hyunjin was dead, but now the boy was sitting in front of him, alive, beaten up yet breathing. Felix wanted to hug him and never let go. He had thought he was completely, utterly alone with nowhere to go, but as it turned out, he still had someone left. Someone to live for. 

There was a knock on the door, and another lady dashed in with a wide smile. She set a tray on the desk in the middle of the room. Felix nodded her a thank you as a sweet smell wafted through the air. Felix took a spare shirt from his satchel and helped it on Hyunjin, tying the little strings in the front to a tiny bow. Now that the boy was not in immediate danger anymore, Felix stood up and with a clean towel swept the blood off of himself. Then he turned around to properly take a look at the room. 

It was just like any basic inn room for two. There was a rather large desk in the middle in front of a window, and on either side of it were two beds. In front of the desk was two wooden stools. On opposite the wall next to the door was a mirror, and on the other side a large closet, most likely meant for clothing. Otherwise the room wasn’t furnished in any way, there weren’t any paintings on the wall, nor were there any tapestries. The sheets on the beds were a little yellowed, most likely very old. Otherwise everything was just wooden brown in different hues. So, not a very fancy inn. But just perfect for Felix and Hyunjin to truce for the night. 

And what then? What would they do next? 

Hyunjin sniffled and Felix turned to look at the boy. He looked so incredibly small in the soft candlelight, shoulders still shivering. His cheeks had lost that fullness he had still had three years ago, now hollowing, stretching over his face. He was bordering on malnourished, once strong frame nothing but a memory now. Felix hated to see it. Felix hated to see what the world had done to him. Felix hated the fact that he knew the reason why Hyunjin looked like that, and he himself was part of that reason. 

And the eyes, oh, the eyes. Gone was the glint of mischief. Gone was the happiness, the waves of the ocean and the sun. Gone was that light of life that had once burned with the power of a thousand suns. 

“I’m sorry.” The words bubbled from Felix’s chest before he could stop them as the guilt washed over him. For three years he had wallowed in it, in that sadness that he never had the chance to say sorry to any of them, all of them.   
“Don’t.” Hyunjin whispered. Felix dropped to his knees, his legs no longer carrying him as the adrenaline wore off of his body. Hyunjin mustered all of the remaining willpower in his body and knelt down beside Felix. Felix buried his face in the crook of Hyunjin’s neck as once again the siren wrapped his arms around him. Felix was trembling. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Felix repeated the words over and over again, sobbing them into Hyunjin’s neck. He could feel Hyunjin shaking his head, and Felix knew he had guessed what Felix was thinking. Of course he had. He hadn’t changed that much in those three years, not from the inside.   
“It’s not your fault, Felix, you know that.” And he wanted to believe Hyunjin, he really did, but that little part of him just couldn’t do that.   
“There’s no need to be pointing fingers. It’s been three years. And you’re not your father, you’re not at fault.” Hyunjin gripped Felix harder.   
“I’m sorry.”   
“Don’t be.” 

It took a moment for Felix’s sobs to ease down. Hyunjin gently stroked his back, but Felix could feel the wetness on his shoulder and he knew he wasn’t the only one lost and confused and scared and somewhat happy and hopeful and still so deeply drowned in sorrow.   
“I can’t believe you’re here.” Hyunjin mumbled after a few breaths of silence.   
“I thought you would be in London or in Nassau or somewhere far away with your dad.” Felix still didn’t move.   
“I was in Port Royal. Until I had enough two weeks ago and decided to leave.” Felix could feel Hyunjin’s chapped lips stretch to a little grin.   
“That’s my boy. They can’t keep you confined.” A spark of laughter rumbled through Felix’s chest. He finally lifted his head to look at the boy sitting next to him. He quickly swiped the remaining tears and snot off of his face. There was something warm in Hyunjin’s eyes. Something comforting. They had been alone for so long, the both of them. 

“But how did you get here? It’s not like ships from Port Royal sail to Tortuga that often.” Felix took Hyunjin by his hand and stood up, hauling the siren up as well for the second time today.   
“Oh, that is a long story.”  
“I’m pretty certain we have all the time in the world right now.” Everything else in the boy might have been sharp and a little unfamiliar and broken, but the smile? That hadn’t changed at all. Still blinding, still so charismatic.   
“Good. I’ll tell you everything about it while we eat.” 

*** 

“Scylla?! You boarded the fucking Scylla?” Hyunjin had his mouth full of bread. His face was slowly regaining color, not so pale in the warmth of the candlelight anymore. A little smile tugged the corners of Felix’s mouth.   
“More like I begged for the crew to spare me and one of the members was ready to cut my head off and then Captain Kai recognized me.”   
“What was he like?” Hyunjin seemed so thrilled. The pain, the fear wasn’t wearing down his shoulders anymore. He was slowly breaking out of his shell to the boy Felix had known three years ago. 

“Scary? Weird? Magical? Half of the crew are ghosts. The quartermaster is a witch. And Captain Kai is… eccentric.” Felix stuffed some fried pork in his mouth. Hyunjin just stared at him.   
“Ghosts?!” It was nearly comical how Hyunjin’s eyes went wide at that information, as if he himself wasn’t half a siren: “Really?!”   
“Yeah. Really. Dark shadows everywhere. And they like… actually worked.” Hyunjin’s jaw dropped open.   
“Like, when I was mopping the decks, I never had to go fill my water bucket, it was always full. And I didn’t have to mop the brigs nor the lowest deck because when I got there, they were already mopped, and I had not seen anyone descend down there as I was cleaning the upper decks.”   
“That is so fucking rad.” 

Felix had told Hyunjin his story, which wasn’t all that entertaining in his opinion, but it lightened the mood a little. Tax reports and the easy life in Port Royal wasn’t that interesting. Felix left out the details of the disgusting men aboard The Lady of the Sea, he didn’t want to make Hyunjin any sadder.   
“I can’t believe you just took off like that. What if… what if you father comes looking for you again?” Felix could see the flinch of pain in Hyunjin’s eyes.  
“He won’t. I made it pretty clear in that letter that he should stay away. Besides, he hates me even more than before, he’ll just be happy I’m gone.” Hyunjin pouted and stuffed another piece of meat into his mouth. The food they had got was good, and more than enough for the two of them. Neither of them touched the wine, though. 

Felix didn’t want to press it, but he was curious. He was curious about a lot of things, but he didn’t entirely know how to ask Hyunjin about them, since he didn’t want to push the boy to talk about things he may not have wanted to. He was in a vulnerable state still, the both of them knew that. Felix saw Hyunjin’s face distorting in a slight expression of pain and discomfort every time he moved his arm on the wound side. He noticed the way Hyunjin looked at his own hands, like they weren’t entirely his. He most likely didn’t lose control like that all that often, which, in a way, was comforting. It meant the boy probably hadn’t been in such threatening situations all that often. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I have been doing?” Thankfully, Hyunjin saved Felix from having to poke around.   
“I was thinking you could tell me about it when you want to. When you’re ready.” Hyunjin snorted at Felix before taking a swig from his cup of water. He looked out of the window at the roofs of the many buildings of Tortuga. They could see the lights from the docks all the way to their inn. Hyunjin sighed.  
“So… I don’t really know where to even begin.”  
“Start from the beginning?” Felix gave him a small, crooked smile.   
“You mean start from the end?” A sad smile spread on Hyunjin’s features. His shoulders slumped a little. Felix swallowed the lump in his throat down. 

Hyunjin continued, voice quieter than before:  
“I can’t remember everything that happened. Half of the crew was already dead after you left. The captain was dead. That I do remember. The next thing I remember that I was…” Hyunjin swallowed, lowering his gaze on the table in front of him.   
“I was… I was with Seungmin.” Felix didn’t miss the way Hyunjin’s voice cracked and his heart along with it; “And someone shouted “Abandon ship right now!”. I think it was Chan. And the next thing I knew the floor underneath me just… exploded and I flew through the air, head first into the sea. And after that I must have lost consciousness, since the next thing I remember is floating on a piece from the hull underneath a blue, cloudless sky.” 

Felix didn’t know what to say. But he just had to, he had to ask, and with a voice so quiet he did:  
“So… you don’t know about the rest?” Hyunjin lifted his gaze to meet Felix’s, and with eyes filled with sorrow, he shook his head.   
“I don’t. I’m sorry.” Felix nodded. His heart convulsed, ached, he felt like a thousand swords stabbed their way through his chest. He had known that answer, yet he still had had to ask. 

They remained quiet for a moment, as if commemorating the silence to those fallen in that battle. Two survivors, out of the thirtyish crewmembers. Felix knew he should have been grateful, but he just couldn’t. Could he really even call himself a survivor?   
“What happened after that?” Felix couldn’t stand the silence anymore. He couldn’t stand the guilt.   
“I spent a whole day and a night just floating around on that makeshift raft. The next day I saw a ship approaching and I… may have tried to sing a little… and they turned their ship my way. And… took me in. It was a Dutch merchant ship. We didn’t share a language but I just started doing whatever they were doing and they gave me a… place to stay. A job. And I… I sailed with them to Curacao, where I switched to another ship. A cargo ship, headed for the East Indies… and that’s where I went. A mistake, the crew was horrible and I was bullied.” Hyunjin grimaced at the memory. 

“Then we were attacked by a pirate ship.” Hyunjin gave a little laugh.   
“I switched ships again, and we sailed around the East Indies for a while, just heisting before heading for Singapore. Apparently our crew wasn’t liked, and our ship was sunk in front of the city. So I boarded another cargo ship underneath the Dutch colors and they sailed back to Caribbean, and that crew was another mistake, there’s just something about them that I do not like, and they also got a little too close a little too often. And so I ended up in the Caribbean again, this time to Aruba, took a little stroll around and I could not find any relatives of mine, so I found myself a pirate crew and three weeks ago we sailed here. They left already, though. And now I have just… tried to survive here. No crew wants to sail right now apart from the fearless ones, the Pirate Slayer has got too close.” 

Felix was winded. Hyunjin told him all of this like it was nothing, just your casual tea-party story.   
“So while I have been sitting in my room doing tax reports for three years, you have seen the entire world?” Hyunjin laughed at that statement.   
“You could say that. Although, if I knew what would have waited for me… in some places… I would have rather not seen the world.” Felix could see it in Hyunjin’s eyes that this was something he didn’t want to speak of, so Felix kept his mouth shut. Though, from his own experience, he could mostly guess what Hyunjin meant. 

Hyunjin’s gaze fell again into the void. Felix stared out of the window as well, until Hyunjin breathed out Felix had feared this whole evening:  
“I miss them.” It was barely a whisper, but it was enough to wrench Felix’s heart out of his chest. Hyunjin was gripping his wooden cup of water, knuckles turning white.   
“I just miss them so bad.” A lone tear rolled down Hyunjin’s cheek.   
“I’ve tried to find them, I’ve listened to rumors and chased after them but… nothing.” Felix wanted to tell Hyunjin to be quiet, not to focus on that right now, but he couldn’t. He had to shut his own eyes as he felt the tears pricking again. 

“I miss them so bad, I thought it would get better but it just doesn’t.” Hyunjin swallowed, another tear joining the first one. His gaze was still fixated on the rooftops outside their window.   
“And I miss Seungmin so bad.” A sob broke out of his chest. Felix pressed his palms against his face tried to stop the tears, but failed. 

Hyunjin had lost so much. How selfish of Felix to think that he was the only one who had lost so many precious people, the love of his life, when Hyunjin was right there. He had known Seungmin for years, they had spent most of their youth together, tangled onto each other in ways that Felix would never be able to understand. The two of them had always been there for each other, but now Seungmin was gone, and Hyunjin was alone. Felix couldn’t even imagine how heartbroken Hyunjin had been after all that, how alone, how so utterly lost. And Felix had been the reason for that pain. That sorrow. 

“I’m sorry.” Felix whispered into the air, again. He couldn’t help himself, the guilt was there.   
“I’m so sorry, Hyunjin.”   
“Felix, don’t.” Hyunjin’s voice was quiet.   
“I’m sorry, I… God, you knew them for so much longer than I did, and now you have lost everything, your family, Seungmin, everyone because of my father. Because of me.” Felix sobbed into his hands. He didn’t give Hyunjin time to say anything.   
“I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”  
“Felix.” Hyunjin voiced a little louder. 

“Yes, I did lose my family because of your father, but your father is your father and you are you, and you know that. You aren’t your father’s actions. And as far as I know, you lost your family, too. I may have known them longer, but you weren’t any less of a family member than any other of us. You aren’t any less of a family member. We have both lost.

And yeah, I did lose Seungmin. And you lost Changbin. We have both lost.” Hyunjin’s voice broke towards the end. 

Felix swallowed, tried to desperately ease down the sobs.   
“Do you hear me, Felix? Don’t ever blame yourself again for what your father did.” Hyunjin’s voice was adamant, but laced with sorrow. Felix nodded, wiped the tears away once again and tried to look at the boy in front of him. Hyunjin wiped the tears off of his face.   
“I’m sorry.” Felix’s lower lip trembled.   
“And don’t ever say you’re sorry ever again. It is not your fault.” 

“The world hasn’t been kind to us.” Felix muttered after a long moment of silence, during which he had finally gathered himself together and the sobs had finally come to an end. Hyunjin’s features softened in the candlelight.   
“No, it hasn’t.” He took his cup of water, before raising it in front of him to a toast:   
“But we are alive and we have found each other. To us, Felix.” Felix gave Hyunjin a crooked smile and took his own cup before clinking it against Hyunjin’s.   
“To us. Come what may.” 

*** 

The golden light of the morning sifted through the red, worn-out curtains right onto Felix’s face. He groaned tried to bury his face deeper into his pillow and turn around. However, other breaths coming from the other side of the room startled Felix awake, and he surged up from in between his sheets. 

Hyunjin. Felix sighed, as the reality of the situation started to settle into his sleepy brain. He had met Hyunjin yesterday evening, completely abandoning his other… friends in that tavern. For a moment Felix wondered where they were right now, but as he looked out from the gap between the curtain, he realized that the sun was already high up, and Scylla was most likely gone. Captain Kai had yesterday announced that they would be leaving early in the morning as they had a new heading, and those who fell behind were left behind. And Felix had fallen behind. In his mind he bid farewell to Yeji, Lia and Lucas. Would he ever meet them again? Perhaps. Perhaps not. 

Felix rose to his feet, his muscles aching a little. The bed certainly wasn’t all that comfortable, but it was better than nothing. For a moment Felix wondered how Hyunjin had spent his nights for the past three weeks, but then he pushed he thought away. There was a time and place for those answers, but it wasn’t now. Not now that he had finally got his friend back. Hyunjin stirred in his sleep. Felix knew the siren wasn’t in a condition to sail right now, so it was best for them to stay ashore for now. But they would have to find something soon, because Felix was running out of money, and he doubted Hyunjin had any with him. 

They hadn’t stayed awake for long after Hyunjin had told Felix his story. He simply briefed Felix of what had happened in the world of piracy in the past three years, but most of them Felix had already known. Pirate Slayer was taking down pirate ships here and there, no one really knew if it was a whole fleet or just one ship, since there were rumors of both, and those who knew the truth didn’t survive long enough to tell the tale. Indigo was gone, so were half of the Brethren of the Coast. They had finally started to accept new crews among them, and now Andromeda and La Concepción were part of the Brethren, along with a few other crews. Odysseus was still out there, so was Medusa. The other captain Seo. And nowadays the pirates lived in fear and just wished that the Brethren would do something about the Pirate Slayer. 

“Morning.” Hyunjin rasped out.   
“Morning.” Felix helped the other boy rise to a sitting position as he winced while he moved. Felix took a look at the wound and found that it had stopped bleeding overnight. The cut was rather deep and would leave a nasty scar, but Hyunjin would survive, unless the wound would get infected. And god, How Felix prayed it would not.  
“Let’s go get some breakfast.” Felix mumbled and Hyunjin nodded. Not that he was hungry, he just needed something to do, something to stop his mind from racing through all possibilities of what might happen next, where they would end and what they had to do. Where would they go? 

Felix pulled his boots on before opening the door to the hallway. Hyunjin followed him, his steps a whole lot quieter than Felix’s. They could hear soft snores emanating from one of the rooms along the hallway, one door was slightly ajar. Felix doubted all the rooms were occupied, but some of them most certainly were. The pair descended the stairs at the end of the hallway to a dimly lit pub. The lady, who Felix assumed was the owner, greeted them with a smile. She was the one that had brought them food.   
“Morning. A breakfast for two, please.” Felix’s voice was still a little rough.   
“Coming right up, feel free to sit down.” The woman spoke in a gentle tone, and for some reason it reminded Felix of his mother. Hyunjin lead the two of them to a table at the far corner. 

Felix finally took a better look at the tavern. It was honestly similar to the rooms above, mostly colors of dark wooden brown. The tables and stools were old and worn out and in a need of some serious sanding. In the middle of the table was a lit candle in an iron holder. There were a few paintings on the walls, as well as a few shelves and cupboards filled with jugs of something that Felix assumed were alcoholic beverages. The big windows on the opposite side of the counter where the lady was fussing let in the golden light of the mid-day. Felix could see a few people walking around the street, past the little inn. Opposite to the inn, on the other side of the street was a hat boutique. 

Felix and Hyunjin weren’t alone, there were a few tables filled with people sitting in the tavern. Felix assumed they were from the same crew, since all of them sat close to each other. A few of them stole curious glances at Felix and Hyunjin. The bell on the door jingled as a customer entered. A smell of frying eggs and baked bread wafted through the air, and perhaps Felix realized that he was actually hungry. 

“Did you sleep well?” Hyunjin mumbled. He looked a lot better now, a lot livelier. Color had returned to his cheeks, to his lips, to his eyes. Sure, he was still thin, still frail, still in a lot of pain, but it he was clearly getting better.   
“Yeah.” Sort of. “You?” Hyunjin nodded at Felix. 

“Something is not in balance, that’s what they say.”   
“And where did ya hear that bullshit?”   
“The witch down the street. She always knows this shit.”   
“Balance? What balance?” 

The conversation traveled to Felix’s ears. The pirates weren’t talking in hushed voices, and clearly didn’t care about Hyunjin and Felix’s existence.   
“Balance?” Hyunjin mouthed at Felix, arching his eyebrow a little. Felix shrugged. Although, now that he really thought about it, he had heard Jeongin talking about balance in a similar context before. He just couldn’t remember what it was. The memory of the ever-smiling boy formed a lump in Felix’s throat.

The lady dashed through the tavern with a tray filled with food. A boy, roughly ten years of age followed after her, carrying a jug of water.   
“Here you go, gentlemen.” The lady beamed as she set the tray down. As Felix had guessed, it was full of freshly baked bread, meats and fruits.   
“Thank you.” He smiled at the lady before digging in. 

Hyunjin and Felix ate in silence for a moment. Felix listened to the pirate crew’s rambling, now they were talking about the Pirate Slayer, and Felix was quite certain that was all the pirates ever spoke about these days. Understandable, though.   
“What are we going to do next?” Hyunjin quietly asked, mouth full of bread. Felix shrugged again:   
“I don’t know. I mean… we can’t stay here that long, I’m running out of money.” Hyunjin gave him a little apologetic smile, to which Felix shook his head.   
“We could ask Madam Symphone if she would take us just for the time until we would find… something. I’ve been sleeping at her place for the past three weeks. Though, she’s not so keen on strangers and even was a little reluctant to take me in… But we could ask…” Hyunjin mumbled. Felix nodded. They could ask, but he doubted the results would be in their favor. 

“Maybe we’ll just find a pirate crew and continue sailing?” Felix voiced. That was the easiest plan, sure. Except that no one wanted to sail right now.   
“Hey, what about Scylla? Are they still here?” Hyunjin’s face seemed to brighten up for a moment, but as soon as he saw Felix’s expression, the smile faltered.   
“They left early this morning. They had a heading already.” Felix pouted. So much for that. Staying aboard Scylla with Hyunjin would have been the most favorable outcome of their situation.

Then Hyunjin’s expression brightened up again:  
“Hey! What about your friend? E… Elmer… Elias-“  
“Eric?”  
“That’s the one! Is he still around? Let’s go see him!” 

Felix couldn’t contain his surprise. He hadn’t even thought of that.   
“Yeah. Yeah, he’s still around, studies in London. Not for long, though.”   
“Great! Let’s go meet him. And we’ll get to explore Europe and London then, as well.” Hyunjin looked exhilarated, and the excitement was catching onto Felix, too, until he remembered that he had to face the reality:  
“Otherwise a very great plan, but how are we going to get from Tortuga to London? Besides, I still have family living in London, what if I get caught? And what if…” Eric hated him? Felix didn’t say the question out loud, but it was there, hanging in the air. 

“Well, we’ll never find out if we don’t go. And I saw a few English cargo and merchant ships tied on the pier. You know, not every ship sailing underneath the colors is loyal to the crown. And honestly, do you really give a shit if you happen to bump onto some distant family of yours? I doubt they will even recognize you out of your pompous clothes.” Felix had to give in, Hyunjin made some pretty good points.   
“Okay, fine, you’re right, I really don’t care about them.” 

Seeing Eric? For the first time in years? It sounded tempting. Felix had sent him a few letters during the past three years as well as received a few from him. He was doing fine, his studies were soon to end and he would have to choose whether to stay in London or return to Nassau. Felix was pretty certain he would return to Nassau, since he was the most likely option to take Felix’s place as the next governor. But it would take some time for Eric to find out Felix had left, and what would be better than to visit London to tell him himself? 

Eric knew about the whole thing that had happened three years ago, and he knew a little more than the rest of the people. He knew that Felix’s life hadn’t been so horrible. He knew that Felix had never felt as free as he had back then. Eric would understand. He would be surprised, sure, but he would understand. 

Felix sighed. Did they really have anything better to do? At least that would mean that he’d get to sail and feel the sea wind in his hair. He would see his friend after so many years and roam around London, perhaps he and Hyunjin could visit some other cities around Europe, too. And Felix would get to sail far, far away from Nassau, and he would be closer to the ocean waves. And Changbin.   
“Okay. Okay, let’s do that. It’s not like we have any better options.” 

As if on cue, the bell rung again and two men bursted in from the door, startling the crew and Felix and Hyunjin.   
“Have ye heard the news?!” The other of the just arrived ones exclaimed.   
“What news?” Someone from crew asked, clearly a little dumbfounded.   
“The Pirate Slayer! It’s been taken down!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit slower and sentimental this time around. not gonna lie i teared up a lil while writing this so i hope at least Some of you are experiencing an Emotion while reading this. our poor boy hyunjin.... ohh what he has had to go through.... and oh what the two of you are still going to have ahead of you.... 
> 
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	36. 36

Now the men had Felix and Hyunjin’s undivided attention as well.   
“The Pirate Slayer! It has been taken down!”   
“Really?! Who did it?”   
“No idea! Some vicious crew, not from around. The rumor has it, the Slayer was attacking some small pirate crew and the other ship arrived just in time, sinking the whole damn Slayer and its crew! They saved the other pirates, and they just arrived here, telling that story!”   
“Holy mother of the Sea! That is the best news all week!”   
“Sounds like witchy stuff. I don’t buy it.”   
“Me neither. Captain Visser tried to get rid of that darn ship and failed, who would be better than them?” 

Captain Visser had been a coward, anyone could be better than them. Felix glanced at Hyunjin with an arched eyebrow. Hyunjin shrugged and ate his breakfast in silence, and Felix followed suit. If the pirate slaying ship had finally been truly sunk, the merchant ships and cargo ships sailing underneath the crowns were in trouble. For a brief moment Felix wondered what his father and other governors around the Caribbean would do now that the pirates got their balance in power back. Then he realized that it was not his problem at all and decided to not give a shit. 

Felix and Hyunjin finished their breakfast, or rather, brunch. Felix payed for the whole thing, and for the last night’s supplies. His pouch was getting a bit too light.   
“So, what now, captain?” Hyunjin grinned as Felix threw the strap of his satchel over his shoulder.   
“Now, we’ll be headed for the port. To find us a crew.” 

*** 

Felix and Hyunjin had walked the entire day. The pier had been surprisingly quiet, only a few crews were leaving back to the seas, and all of them refused to take Felix and Hyunjin on board. And they were headed only for the Caribbean, anyway, so the two wouldn’t have gotten far on those ships, since their destination was England. But getting a ship would have been better than spending another night in Tortuga, which would surely take all of Felix’s remaining money. 

“Hungry?” Hyunjin mumbled. His arm was hooked under Felix’s, and Felix kept a protective hold of the boy. A few too many people had approached them today, clearly interested in Hyunjin’s charms, seeping through the cracks on his facade. He still couldn’t contain them. And Seungmin wasn’t there to constantly tell him to contain them anymore and ground him to the moment. So now Felix had to protect him.   
“Mmhm.” Felix hummed. A man had been following them for the past two blocks. Felix didn’t like it. 

Felix lead the two of them straight through the next doors of a tavern he saw. The Tavern of Queen Mary, infamous and close to the port, and most likely not the best option, but it was the first one Felix saw. As Felix had guessed, it was mostly full, but then he spotted a lone table in the corner with two seats free, and quickly scurried through the mass of people, dodging any and all curious glances. 

The clamor inside the tavern was almost deafening. There were people, pirates everywhere, drinking from huge tankards of rum, laughing, yelling at each other. Felix had never seen anything quite like it. All of the taverns and inns he had visited before had been on the quiet side, more secretive. But this one? Far from it. And maybe Felix liked the atmosphere a little. It was… happy. Joyous. Funny. Felix felt kiddy, looking at the sight in front of him. All of the round tables were packed with people, even the stairs leading upstairs were filled with pirates coming and going. Someone was babbling, or more like yelling their companion about the lost treasure of Flor de la Mar. There was a band playing at the farthest corner from Hyunjin and Felix. The band’s cacophonous playing only added to the ridiculous atmosphere (and noise). Felix could have got a renaissance painting out of this. 

A few people glanced at them curiously, Felix ordered him and Hyunjin whatever the tavern was offering. The golden light of the huge torches and lanterns along the walls flickered every time someone passed by them. The old, worn-out chandeliers hanging from the ceiling somehow added even more to the ridiculousness. Felix loved it. This was so much better than anything he had anticipated of the most infamous tavern of Tortuga. 

And then some disgusting lady who reeked of old alcohol nearly sat on Hyunjin’s lap and Felix had to usher her away. The lady was clearly bat-shit drunk and had no clue what she was doing, all she said was that Hyunjin was pretty. Hyunjin was too kind, too afraid of himself to really do anything. A boy, who must have only been a few years younger than Felix and Hyunjin, brought them their food. Felix and Hyunjin dug into the stew earnestly. 

“Are the rumors really true?”  
“Personally, I’d take them with a grain of salt.” Felix heard a few pirates mumbling around the table next to his and Hyunjin’s.   
“Those new pirates like to make up stories… Wouldn’t be surprised if this was made up, too.”  
“And what if it’s a plot to get us to sail again? What if the ‘survivors’ are just some crownsmen who try to lure us back to the seas, straight into the waiting arms of Pirate Slayer?”   
“Sounds smart. Are they that smart?”   
“Could be.”

Felix glanced at Hyunjin, who shrugged.   
“It sounds plausible. Wouldn’t be the first time they would use that kind of tactic.” Felix half-whispered. He could remember his father talking about that sort of thing ages ago. It may have happened in the Mediterranean seas, Felix wasn’t sure. Hyunjin nodded.   
“Do you believe it?” Felix mouthed.   
“I don’t know. Pirate Slayer has been around for a few years now, and no one has been able to defeat it. It’s a huge man-o-war with trained soldiers. Some puny pirate crew is not going to sink it, at least not alone.” Hyunjin mumbled back. 

This was the third time that they heard someone talking about it today. First time in the inn, second time out in the streets. Felix could feel it, the pirates clearly didn’t believe it, as it was not a widely discussed topic. They were hesitant. Scared. For a good reason. Felix was, too. It sounded a little too good that the ship that had been terrorizing the pirate ships around the Caribbean was now gone, and not by some famous pirate crew, but some unknown ship. 

“It’s true, folks.” Another man from another table interrupted the ones close to Hyunjin and Felix.   
“I was there. Some ship with sails of emerald green so deep they seemed black attacked the Pirate Slayer while it was trying to sink our ship.”  
“I call bullshit.” A man scoffed. The other man, rather old and a little disheveled looking shook his head:  
“I’m not gonna force you to believe it. But they were ruthless, that other ship. Spared no lives on Pirate Slayer and sunk it to the bottom of the sea faster than I’ve ever seen. Has to do something with witchy business, I believe. If I didn’t know what kind of vessels Odysseus and Scylla were, I would have believed it was either of them, but it wasn’t.”  
“You say emerald? Isn’t Odysseus emerald?”   
“It is.”   
“And wasn’t it dark when the Pirate Slayer attacked? The rumors speak it was nightfall.”  
“It was.”  
“Then how do you know the ship had emerald sails? If it’s dark, you can’t see it.”  
“I-“ 

Felix chuckled silently, Hyunjin did the same. So, perhaps the rumors weren’t true. Or maybe they were, this was, after all, the Caribbean. Everything was possible, Felix had learned that by now. Or, almost everything. Not even Caribbean could bring dead people back to life. 

A bar fight erupted somewhere close to the entrance of the tavern, interrupting the men’s conversation as well as Hyunjin and Felix’s. Felix loved how the other people around the fighting pair seemed to be completely unfazed, not caring about them. This was something completely normal to them. For a moment Felix wondered if he himself would ever get used to that sort of thing – if life in Tortuga would be an option for him and Hyunjin. The town itself was interesting, and Felix was sure there were some abandoned buildings they could perhaps turn into a home, so that was not the problem, it was other things. Where would they get their income? It wasn’t like this town had any sort of working economic system let alone jobs to offer. Perhaps they could settle on another town? Some small town in the Cuban coast or something. Anything. 

But then again, there was this pull inside Felix, a pull towards the sea. He didn’t want to stay grounded. He didn’t want to stay in one place for long, he wanted to feel the sea wind in his hair, he wanted to see the foamy trail the ship would leave after her as she would sail across the seas. Felix wanted to sail. Felix wanted to explore the world, see the world, feel the world. He wanted to be free. 

So they would not stay in Tortuga. Nor in any other city. They would go see Eric in London, and then, what then? Then they would explore the world. Felix and Hyunjin. Together. The two that had survived the battle. That’s what Seungmin would have wanted. That’s what Changbin would have wanted. So that was what Felix and Hyunjin were going to do. They just needed a crew. 

“Hey, did you hear? Liberty is weighing anchors tonight. They will be heading back to Europe.”   
“Liberty? Isn’t it that English merchant ship that passes by Tortuga every time they sail here?”   
“It is.” Felix focused on the on-going conversation a few tables over. Someone was yelling close by, Felix missed some of the conversation. He nudged Hyunjin’s foot underneath the table to listen and nodded towards the group.   
“No wonder. Sneaky ones, aren’t they? They have the protection of the crown, and the pirates don’t attack them because they drop by here to sell stuff and bring news from the mains. Clever.”   
“I think so, too. But they do be selling some of the finest fabrics seen on these seas, so they’re welcomed here.”   
“Where are they headed? London?”   
“Yeah, London. The cap said the market is better there than in Liverpool.” 

Felix glanced at Hyunjin and nodded. Together they rose from their seats and rushed out of the tavern. 

*** 

Liberty. Ironic. Felix had done nothing but worked his ass off for the past week. He huffed and leaned against his mop, swiping sweat off of his forehead. Hyunjin moaned in pain as he straightened his back. They were currently cleaning one of the storage rooms that had most likely not been cleaned properly in years. It was musty, dusty, and smelled a bit of something rotten. Something old. Something that Felix did not want to know the source of.   
“This is not the best idea we have ever had.” Sweat dripped down Hyunjin’s top lip, the little droplets shining in the dim lighting if the hull. Felix could hear the waves rippling against the wooden boards only a few centimeters away from them, on the other side of the wall.   
“No, it isn’t.” 

It wasn’t that Liberty was entirely bad. The crew was somewhat okay. There were people who bullied them for being the lowest of the low, sure, and a few who literally could not stop chasing after Hyunjin until Felix intervened every damn evening, and perhaps the captain and quartermaster were some of the biggest bullies Felix had ever met, but it was somewhat okay. There was this strict hierarchy, as Felix had expected of a vessel sailing underneath the crown. It wasn’t as strict as that of a war vessel’s but still, bad enough. Felix didn’t like it. He hated the fact that somehow his age and the amount of time he had spent on that particular boat defined his worth as a worker. As a human. He hated strict hierarchy based on age and merits. Sure, there had been a hierarchy on Euryale, too, but it had been more of… just there. It existed, but it wasn’t strictly followed. And all the sailors had been on equal, regardless of their age or merits. 

Liberty was about as bad as The Lady of the Sea had been. Or well, not exactly. Felix wasn’t so utterly alone anymore. Now he and Hyunjin were alone together. If Felix had been alone, then this ship would have been just as bad. The rest of the crew, who didn’t constantly bully the two, simply acted like they didn’t exist. The others picked on them of anything they could, sometimes Hyunjin and Felix were slacking, sometimes they were on the way, most of the time they were just… annoying, apparently. Thank god both of them were used to it by now, though the shoves and sometimes very inappropriate touches were harder to ignore, and god, Felix had lost count how many times he had nearly pulled his knife out just to defend his friend from those disgusting men. 

“It’s better than those Dutch boats.” Hyunjin cracked a smile, to which Felix answered with his own. Felix had noticed it, Hyunjin smiled more now. And so did Felix, because every time Hyunjin smiled, Felix just had to answer to that. Felix could only guess what Hyunjin had had to endure during his sails across the ocean to the East Indies, so perhaps Liberty was indeed better than those ships.  
“And it’s better than The Lady of the Sea.” Felix and Hyunjin had been assigned to work as deck boys, no surprises there. Most of the crew just lunged around all days, the sail had been easy so far. The wind was on their side. 

A week ago Felix and Hyunjin had ran hand in hand from the Tavern of the Queen Mary down the main street of Tortuga, through the bustling marketplace straight to the docks where they had found Liberty, the crew still hauling barrels of rum aboard the ship. Felix and Hyunjin had literally begged on their knees for the quartermaster and captain to take them with them, just to get to London, and finally they had given in (right after Hyunjin had flashed them his beautiful, charming smile and hummed a few compelling notes). After than they had got themselves a corner in the forecastle and two mattresses, and their new life aboard Liberty had begun. 

And it wasn’t far from the beginning right now, either. It would take them roughly two months to sail across the Atlantic all the way to London. They had only sailed for a week now. In a few days they would leave most of the Caribbean islands behind them and sail to the open, vast ocean. That thrilled Felix, but also scared him. They would be out in the open, completely alone and isolated, in the middle of the ocean. Felix had only sailed across the Atlantic once, and back then he had been very little, and barely remembered anything of it. Apart from the storm. And the fear. Felix just hoped the sail would be easy, and they wouldn’t have to face any large wraths of the nature on their way. 

Felix and Hyunjin got the mopping done and hopped the stairs up to the other storage deck. Liberty was a merchant ship, so there really was no gun deck. All the cannons were on the main deck, tied to the bannisters. Overall the ship was just of average size, a bit smaller than The Lady of the Sea had been, perhaps. It wasn’t a very fancy ship, just plain brown with white sails. It was ordinary, like any other merchant ship. The British flag hoisted above the sails made Felix a little nauseous again. 

Felix and Hyunjin ate their dinner in silence. The cook smiled at them, and Felix was quite sure that out of all the people on the ship, he was the kindest. He exuded kindness. He had friendly eyes. Felix liked him. He didn’t like the bosun that nearly shoved his platter into Felix’s face as he passed by. And didn’t even apologize. Why had Felix always been told that pirates were the ones without manners, when it was completely the other way around and these men, crown’s men were even worse than pirates? Sure, there were pirates that lacked some basic manners, and so on, but at least Felix had only ever been treated fairly during his time on pirate vessels. 

The sun had set as the two walked out of the kitchen. Liberty was built in a similar way than many others – the crew’s quarters were underneath the forecastle deck, the kitchen was below the captain’s cabin that was on the quarter deck. The order had been the same on Euryale, only there next to the kitchen had been the quartermaster’s cabin and… the captain’s son’s cabin. 

Felix still wasn’t feeling tired, neither was Hyunjin. They loitered around the ship, or rather, the main deck since the first storage deck was also the deck most of the crew passed their leisure time on and Felix and Hyunjin silently agreed to avoid that. They decided to climb up the shrouds and sit on the second highest boom of the mizzenmast. Liberty only had two masts (unlike Euryale, which had had three), and they didn’t want to sit on the main mast since there was a look-out on the crow’s nest. It would have felt weird to sit below him. 

Felix hooked his leg on the shrouds below his feet as he took ahold of the mast next to him. Hyunjin was sitting on the other side, his leg gently swaying in the wind. The sails moved the mast around slightly, Felix could feel it. It made him feel light.   
“Do you remember anything from London?” Hyunjin broke the silence. The wind pushed his long, inky black locks over his eyes.   
“Not much. It’s a large city, constantly bustling and never quiet. And it’s… dirty.”  
“Dirtier than Tortuga?”   
“Definitely. And I can’t remember how to get around let alone where the hell Eric lives, so we will most likely have quite a lot of time to look around.” They would get paid from working on Liberty (not very well, though), so they’d have to find themselves to inn to stay at. Then they would start looking for Eric.   
“I’ve always wanted to visit London, I’m so excited!” Hyunjin smiled, and Felix smiled, too. Again.   
“Me too. I can’t wait to get to an actual city for once.”   
“Are you saying Nassau and Port Royal and Tortuga aren’t enough cities for you?”  
“I’m saying they have, like, a few thousand inhabitants and London has six hundred thousand.”  
“Six hundred thousand?!” Hyunjin sounded astonished.   
“Six hundred thousand. Probably more. It’s not some small city.” 

“I hope we find your friend. He sounds like a cool guy.”   
“I hope so, too. And he is. He’s… understanding.” Felix hadn’t even realized how focused he was on this thing. It was all he had thought of the past week, all that kept him going. In a few months, two at best, he’d see Eric. He had seen him last time over five years ago. Five years was a long time. Felix wondered if he still had that tiny amount of baby fat on his cheeks. Most likely not. Felix had lost his as well, all sharp edges now. Did Eric still have those golden locks that looked nearly orange in the sunlight. Did he still have that smile that alone promised a brighter future to everyone that saw it?   
“Does he know?”   
“Not the entire story, just some of it.” 

Hyunjin nodded. Felix looked up as the sails blocked his view to the way they were sailing. The stars shone bright, the moon was up, still making her way towards the highest point of the sky. Felix sighed as he felt the wind trifling through his hair, tugging his shirt. He heard a note that sounded a lot like an owl traveling over the water. These stars were so familiar to him. He could read them easily, he knew which way they were going, Cassiopeia smiled down at him. Felix had fallen in love underneath these same stars. 

So maybe it would be best for him to move to a new place, underneath a new set of stars. 

The ocean waves rippled against the hull of the ship in the darkness, the wind filled the sails with ease. Felix felt… better. He felt better. Better than he had done in ages, he realized. Perhaps he had… finally started to heal. He was away from Nassau, away from everything he had ever known with nothing but the ship underneath his feet, sailing towards the unknown. He didn’t need to hurry, he didn’t need to stress, he was just there, in the moment, sitting next to Hyunjin as they sailed across the sea. Felix felt somewhat content. 

And for some reason, as that realization hit him, a sense of warmth bloomed through his chest. He could breathe. He was healing, and he wasn’t alone anymore. It was in the ocean waves, in the wind, he could feel it. A presence. Felix was right where he was supposed to be, and even if Changbin was not physically next to him, he was there. In the waves. In the wind. In Felix’s heart. It set a sense of comfort in Felix, a comfort that he had not felt in three years. He belonged here. On the sea. A tear rolled down Felix’s cheek and Felix let it. He didn’t wipe it away. There was no need. It wasn’t a sad tear. 

“You’re happier.” Hyunjin quietly muttered and leaned his head against the mast on Felix’s other side.   
“I am.” Felix confessed, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth. And he was, that was the truth.   
“I am, too.” 

“Oh no. Oh fuck.” A shrill yell came from the crow’s nest in front of Felix and Hyunjin, breaking the little spell they had fallen under.   
“A ship approaching from behind! No colors!” The yell resonated over the deck with terror laced in it. It took a moment for Felix to understand what it meant, until someone on the main deck cursed loudly:

“Pirates!” 

*** 

It all came crashing down in a few seconds. Everything, that Felix had managed to piece together with fragile fingers during the last two weeks shattered around him in a matter of mere moments. He and Hyunjin slid down the shrouds to the main deck as chaos was about to erupt. The captain yelled for the crewsmen to get the guns ready. Hyunjin dragged Felix from his wrist to the quarterdeck, and there it was. 

A silhouette, not far from them. A huge ship, the sails blocked the moonlight. It was approaching them fast from the far left, slowly turning to face their way, to sail next to them and capture them. Felix fell onto his knees as he just stared at the ship. 

Everything he had managed to piece together was slipping through his fingers once again. For the first time in his life, he hated pirates with every fiber of his being, the hatred running so deep it brought tears to his eyes. He knew that this ship, this crew would not last in the face of those pirates, not when that ship was so damn large and probably carried a crew of at least fifty people. This merchant ship was nothing but a little treat to those pirates. Felix wanted to yell, he wanted to scream in frustration, but instead he stumbled up, knees wobbly. Hyunjin took his hand, he could see the way Felix was breaking down with every passing second. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Felix whispered.   
“I know.” Hyunjin whispered, but nevertheless pulled Felix down the stairs, as the other sailors whirled past them, in a state of a panicky mess. Someone shoved a handle of a sword to Felix’s chest, and it took a second for Felix to realize to take a hold of it (“Stupid boy, take it, die for your crew”). Felix weighed the blade in his hand. It was a bit too heavy for him, but did it matter? Did it really matter, when this was most likely the deck he was going to die on? 

Hyunjin pulled Felix close to the bannister.   
“Get the cannons ready! They’re close!”   
“Loose the sails! Wind is on our side!” It wasn’t, and it was too late.   
“Swords out! We can do this, we are the men of the English crown! We will not yield to some filthy pirates!” The words held no meaning to Felix. He simply stared, just stared, as he saw the bowsprit slowly appearing, sliding from behind the quarter deck to next to the main deck. Underneath the sprit was a statue of a lady. It glimmered golden in the moonlight.   
Felix felt frozen by the sight. He had seen it before. He had repeated it in his endless nightmares before. It was just the same, the ship was roughly the same size as Victory had been, and just as back in Euryale, Victory had solely approached them from behind before opening fire. Felix wanted to scream, to cry, to give up. He had seen this happening way too many times before, he never wanted to see it again, never, ever, yet here he was. 

“I’m so fucking tired.” Felix wheezed out a choked-up cry. He was so utterly tired of this, of running, running and running again. He was so utterly tired of always losing. He had lost his mother, he had lost Changbin and all of his friends, and now, he would lose Eric too. He would lose all that hope of seeing him, because some fucking pirate crew decided it was in their hands to decide the faith of the crew aboard Liberty. Felix had lost everything he had ever deemed important to him, and now he would lose again. He was so utterly devastated, so very heartbroken, and so, absolutely, tired. 

Why couldn’t the universe just let him be? Hadn’t he suffered enough? 

“I’m just so fucking tired, Hyunjin.”   
Hyunjin gripped his hand harder, but Felix could feel it trembling. Hyunjin was just as tired. He was just as tired of losing, of sailing aimlessly around the seas. The ship had finally reached them properly, Felix could see a few figures running on the deck. The crew of Liberty had gathered on the main deck, in front of Felix and Hyunjin. Felix could feel it, the fear trembling through them, paralyzing every single crownsman. 

They had most likely never fought in an actual battle. They had most likely never properly faced pirates anywhere else than in Tortuga, and in Tortuga they were welcomed guests. None of them most likely had no any kind of training when it came down to sword battles. Felix felt his stomach twist. They were going to lose. 

He was going to die on this deck like those soldiers did on the deck of El Salvador, because a heisting pirate crew only had one goal, and the crew of the ship they were heisting was the only thing separating them from that goal. Felix was going to die, he was going to die with Hyunjin right here, he was going to lose all that little hope he still had had inside him, he was going to lose all those little things he had still continued living for. 

The hooks shot out from the heisting ship, tangling themselves on the bannister of Liberty. Right at the same moment the captain yelled to fire, and so did the crew of Liberty. Felix could see the flame in the darkness for a few seconds before the cannon went off and his ears rung. The first plank had been set between the ships, and before Felix had time to react or say anything, the first pirates had run over it to their ship. They had their faces covered with black scarves; eyes only visible. 

Felix simply stared, frozen. He was so tired of always losing, always getting the shorter end of the stick. How was he this unlucky? Had he done something so awfully wrong that he deserved this? The dull ache in his chest, the feeling of his heart shattering once again, all his dreams fading into nothingness just as he had finally got them back. He was so tired. 

Something in him snapped as he saw the first one the crew of Liberty fall down, gushing blood out of his mouth. 

He was so fucking tired, and so fucking angry. 

Felix let out a garbled cry as he let go of Hyunjin’s hand and lunged forwards. There was simply nothing left in him but anger, how dare these people destroy his thin string of hope, how dare they?! A tear of anger slid down Felix’s cheek as he swung his blade towards the first pirate that came across his way. It was useless, deep down he knew it, there was no way Liberty was going to win this battle. They weren’t soldiers. They were just merchants, and terribly underpowered.

Felix dove from underneath one blade.   
“Felix!” He could hear Hyunjin yelling, with desperation in his voice, he felt sorry for him. Felix turned to look back just as he saw the siren grab a sword from close by and swing it towards an approaching pirate. The pirate dodged it, and Felix could visibly see Hyunjin’s whole demeanor changing; he had been cornered, he was scared, and the instinct to survive kicked in. The red eyes flashed just a second before the boy let out a blood-seizing screech. 

Felix stumbled over a body and blindly swung forwards. His sword sunk into something, but Felix didn’t have time to think to where it had sunk. He turned left, something struck his arm hard and he winced, crying out in pain. He changed his sword hand and swung again, parrying one attack and dancing through the mass of bodies. He was so fucking tired of this, and he knew all of this was so damn useless, they were going to lose no matter what. Someone next to his ear yelled, Felix saw a throat being slit right in front of his very eyes, and all it did was make him angrier. 

“We’re losing!”  
“Destroy the cannons!”   
“Abandon ship!”   
“Nay! You fight till the last man standing!” 

He was going to die, so he could just as well take as many of these pirates with him as he would be able to. Felix gathered every ounce of strength that he had within him, every ounce of that pain, that longing, that sorrow and swung forwards with such vigor it sent him off balance for a moment. He dodged, a sharp pain struck his leg, to which he answered by turning around and sinking his blade into the pirate’s chest. 

Everything was a blur around Felix, he swung by Hyunjin, his hands covered in blood. Felix felt something warm and sticky splatter on his face, momentarily blinding him as Hyunjin tore a man’s throat open. The captain got a bullet blasted through his brains, and the last bit of hope in Felix flamed out. He let out a sob, so violent his whole body shook. He barely dodged a sword chasing after him, his entire body moving as his brain couldn’t register anything. 

A pirate stepped in front of Felix, Felix swung forwards and turned with his weaker foot, and swung again. Around, he blocked another sword coming his way before making a pirouette and surging forwards the first pirate. He sped up his movements, not sparing a second to glance at his opponent as he dove underneath the pirate’s arm to the backside, swung, swung again and changed the sword to his weaker arm, the one that was injured already. Left, right, left, left, back to the right arm, Felix sped up again, why the fuck did this pirate know how to fight, left, right, Felix kicked forwards, tried to confuse his opponent, he was on the backside again, he was faster, and with a large swing-

Clang. 

His sword crashed against another sword, the screech of steel against steel deafeningly loud. 

That shouldn’t even be possible, no pirate alive knew that move, Felix’s knees buckled, his heart ached, and he finally looked up. 

And underneath the black, curly locks. 

Ocean eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my.... look at that 
> 
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	37. 37

“C-Changbin?” 

The world around Felix faded away. He could only hear his own ragged breath and the blood thrumming in his veins. The moonlight shifted from in between the sails, bathing the bloody deck in silvery light. The time itself seemed to pause for a brief moment. 

The ocean eyes. 

His ocean eyes. 

All the remaining power in Felix’s body seemed to drain away. His sword wavered against the other sword, sliding down until the handles pressed together. Felix couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t process. 

The ocean eyes widened; the man trembled. He ripped off the black scarf that had been covering most of his face. 

“Felix...?” It was but a mere whisper in the air. Felix’s knees buckled. This couldn’t be happening. He was dreaming. 

“Halt your swords!” Felix heard from somewhere far away, as if through a fog. The voice was familiar. 

“Changbin?” Felix whispered again. This was too good. This was not possible, Felix was dreaming. This was not real. Was he dead? Had Felix died already? Was this the heaven, the ever-after?  
“Felix.” The boy in front of him breathed again. Felix felt the sword slip through his fingers, the blade clattering against the wooden deckboards. 

The ocean eyes. The deepest shade of blue, so dark they almost looked black. Felix could swear on his life he saw foamy waves swirling inside the boy’s irises. The ocean eyes, after years of searching, years of yearning, years of longing, they were right in front of Felix. 

“Changbin.” Felix’s own voice sounded foreign to him; the name rolled off of his tongue in a squeak. This couldn’t be real.  
“Am I dead?” He found himself whispering. Tears were pricking the corners of his eyes. He had to be dead. There was no other explanation to this. The boy in front of him shook his head, just barely noticeable. 

And every single emotion Felix had bottled up during the last three years crashed over him simultaneously like a tidal wave. His legs finally gave out under him, knees scraping uncomfortably against the deck. Changbin surged forwards, abandoning his own sword. He caught Felix in his arms with a barely audible gasp of Felix’s name. 

A tear rolled down Felix’s cheek. He was shocked, confused. What was going on? His hands trembled as he reached towards Changbin’s face, hesitating a moment before pressing his fingers against the soft skin of Changbin’s cheeks. Felix could see the scar underneath his lower lip, just as he remembered.  
“Is it really you?” Felix choked out. The hands holding onto his arms trembled.  
“You’re alive?” 

Changbin nodded. Felix felt like he had been set ablaze, he took in a wavering breath.  
“You’re here?” Changbin nodded again. The ocean eyes shone in the moonlight, swimming in tears. 

Changbin was here. Changbin was right here, in front of him. The ocean eyes Felix had fallen in love with were right in front of him. Changbin was alive, he was not dead, he had not died on the decks of Euryale in front of San Juan three years ago. Changbin was alive. Changbin was alive. Changbin was alive! 

The realization hit Felix with the power of a thousand suns, so hard it knocked all the air out of Felix’s lungs. He gasped, surged forwards and circled his arms around Changbin. He pressed his head against Changbin’s shoulder and took in a ragged breath, followed by a choked sob. He smelled of the ocean and old books, and something Felix had craved so desperately for these three years.  
“You’re alive. You’re alive!” He mumbled against Changbin’s skin, trembling.  
“I am. I am.” The sound of Changbin’s voice made Felix’s skin tickle, his guts twist and turn. He was here. Changbin was here. He was alive. 

Felix felt Changbin wrapping his arms around him so tightly he thought he was going to burst. And with all the emotions swarming inside him, he might as well have.  
“I thought. I thought you. I thought you were… away.” Changbin’s voice was small. He buried his face against Felix’s neck.  
“I was.” Felix answered. He could feel Changbin’s shoulders shaking. Felix tightened his grip around him. Changbin was alive. 

Abruptly Felix pulled back. He couldn’t believe this. But there they were, the ocean eyes. A little lost, a little confused. A little incredulous. So deep and dark Felix felt like drowning in them. Felix felt a burst of joy bubble up his chest, escape through his lips with an unbelieving laugh.  
“You’re alive.” Felix laughed. He couldn’t stop himself.  
“You’re alive. Alive!” 

Felix cupped Changbin’s cheeks with both of his hands before leaning forwards. He captured Changbin’s lips with his own lips, pressing in close. He tasted of blood, of sea salt and something so very utterly Changbin, something Felix had nearly already forgotten. All of Felix’s senses were immediately filled with Changbin as the other boy answered to the kiss with similar vigor. Felix could feel it. The longing. The yearning. The sorrow they both had been through during the last three years. Changbin had missed Felix just as much as Felix had missed him. Felix couldn’t believe this. 

Felix couldn’t stop himself from crying. He couldn’t stop himself from trembling. Changbin was here. Felix was kissing Changbin, and Changbin was kissing him back. He was alive. Changbin’s other hand found its way to Felix’s locks, gently threading through them as if to make sure that Felix was there, in his whole glory. Felix was the one to pull back first, as his lungs felt like burning from the lack of air. He took in a breath before diving in again. He pecked Changbin’s lips once, twice, thrice.  
“I can’t believe this. You’re alive?” He whispered against the other boy’s lips. So soft. So pillowy. Just as Felix had remembered them to be. Felix didn’t understand this. He couldn’t grasp the entirety of the situation. He couldn’t grasp the reality.

“Just as alive as you are.” Changbin laughed. Felix pressed his forehead against Changbin’s. He was alive. God! Changbin was alive! 

“Felix?!” A familiar voice made Felix pull back from Changbin’s embrace. Behind the boy stood a boy, or rather, a man with wild, curly black locks and sad eyes. Sad eye. The other one was covered with an eyepatch.  
“Chan?” Felix wheezed out. The man had his sword pointed at the quartermaster of Liberty’s chest. Felix couldn’t believe this. Chan was alive, too?  
“What the hell are you doing here?”  
“I- We were-“ Felix’s stammering was interrupted by someone’s choked up cry behind Chan. 

“Hyunjin?” Seungmin stood frozen in the middle of the deck, staring behind Felix.  
“Hyunjin?!” The red-haired boy took a few steps forwards. Felix heard a grunt coming from behind him. That- Oh no. Felix ripped himself away from Changbin and scrambled up, abandoning the boy. Felix didn’t notice the grabby hands, reluctant of letting go of Felix.  
“Seungmin- Seungmin, don’t!” Oh no. Oh fuck. Too late, the boy was already approaching the bundle of a person trembling next to the bannister on the opposite side of the deck.  
“Seungmin! Watch out!” Felix screamed. Seungmin didn’t listen, he strode over to the siren as quickly as he could, slipping slightly on the bloody decks, and crouched down. 

And just as Felix had feared, Hyunjin did not recognize Seungmin. With horror in his eyes he watched as Hyunjin violently yanked himself away from the touch and sprung up from the floor, his fingers slashing forwards like claws.  
“Hyunjin! Hyunjin, it’s me!” The red in his eyes didn’t fade out. Felix found himself running forwards, panic rising from the pits of his stomach as Seungmin fell on his back on the deck, legs frantically kicking himself away from the boy, who was inches away from turning feral. 

“Hyunjin!” Felix found himself screaming to distract the boy. Hyunjin wasn’t himself, Felix knew it all too well. Just as Hyunjin was ready to surge forwards again, towards Seungmin in order to protect himself and slit the other boy’s throat, Felix lunged himself forwards and hurled himself on Hyunjin, the collision knocking both of them to the ground. He reached to grip both of Hyunjin’s wrists and pin them anywhere but close to his face. 

“Hyunjin! Hyunjin! It’s over!” Felix tried to get the boy’s attention, he tried to search for his gaze. Hyunjin kicked and kicked and thrashed and tried to desperately get Felix off of him.  
“Hyunjin! It’s me, Felix!” Felix lowered his voice, tried to make it as soothing as possible. As non-threatening as possible (a bit conflicting with the way Felix’s knee was pressing on to Hyunjin’s abdomen, trying to keep him from escaping). 

And finally, finally Hyunjin locked his gaze with Felix’s.  
“Hyunjin, come back. It’s over, we’re not in danger.” The boy underneath him gasped for air, his fingers trying to claw Felix’s hands.  
“Hyunjin. Come back to me, we’re not in danger. You are not in danger. You are safe.”  
“H-Hyunjin?” Felix could hear Seungmin’s broken whisper. 

That seemed to finally work. The red in Hyunjin’s eyes dissolved to the gentle brown so familiar to Felix.  
“F-Felix.” The boy stuttered. Felix let go of his wrists and stood up. He didn’t have the chance to offer Hyunjin his hand to pull him up.  
“Hyunjin?” Seungmin whispered again, just as unbelieving as Felix had been mere moments ago. Felix saw how Hyunjin’s eyes widened as he scrambled up. The boy was not a pretty sight, covered in blood that was most likely not his, eyes still wide with fear. 

Felix turned to Seungmin. Hyunjin had managed to slash a small cut dangerously close to Seungmin’s eye. Only a little more, and Seungmin would have been half-blind for the rest of his life.  
“Hyunjin?” Seungmin repeated.  
“Seungmin?” Felix took a step back, at the same time as Hyunjin did. He did not seem to believe the sight in front of him. Seungmin slowly rose to his feet, blood trickling down from the open wound.  
“Hyunjin. It’s me.” Seungmin lifted his hands in front of him in a defensive manner, just in case Hyunjin would be still a little lost. Hyunjin opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Then the reality of the situation seemed to finally set in, all the cloudiness from his eyes gone. 

“S-Seungmin.” The boy whispered, eyes welled up with tears. Seungmin took a step forward, then another, and then another, and then Felix realized this was perhaps not the place for him to be, and he backed off just as Seungmin threw his arms around Hyunjin’s neck, sobbing. Felix could hear Hyunjin sobbing a string of “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry”’s against Seungmin’s shoulder. Felix turned to look at the deck, and noticed that Changbin had followed after him. Felix’s entire body jolted with joy. 

Most of the crew of Liberty were dead. Excluding Felix and Hyunjin, three people were alive; the quartermaster, the kind cook and one of the older crewmembers. Chan had his sword still pointed at the quartermaster’s throat. One of the pirates had cornered the cook and the crewmember with her two blades. The deck was pooling with blood, it looked nearly black in the moonlight mixed with the torchlight of Liberty. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Felix turned instinctively towards the voice, oh so familiar. The figure walked over the plank and just as he reached the deck of Liberty, he stopped in his tracks. Felix simply stared at the boy in front of him.  
“Felix?”  
“Jisung.” Felix wheezed out. For a heartbeat Felix didn’t know what to do, all the doubts from three years ago rising to the top again. He had never got the chance to apologize. He had never got the chance to talk to the boy. What if Jisung still disliked him? Then Jisung surged forwards and engulfed Felix in a hug so warm all the doubts Felix had had dissolved into thin air.  
“What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing here?” Jisung mumbled. Felix couldn’t help but let out a noise that was something in between a laugh and a sob. He could ask the same question from the people around him. Jisung pulled back, but didn’t let go of his shoulders. He took a good look at Felix, eyed him up and down. Then he shook his head:  
“You’re still a scrawny landlubber. Three years and you haven’t changed a bit.” Felix would have rolled his eyes, if they weren’t so welled up with tears. He pulled Jisung into another hug.  
“I missed you, too. So much.” Felix muttered against his shoulder:  
“A-and I’m sorry, I’m really sorr-“  
“No. Quit it. Felix, I thought you were in Nassau and not on the seas, we haven’t seen you in three years and now you want to apologize? It’s in the past. Forget it. I’ve missed you. And I know why everything was how it was, and it wasn’t your fault.” Jisung hugged Felix tighter with every word he mumbled to his ear. A piece of Felix that had broken in Felix three years ago seemed to finally fill in with those words. 

“Take the cargo, just spare us.” A wavering voice reached Felix’s ears. It was the quartermaster. Chan eyed him with displeasure.  
“You heard the man, take the cargo.” He said, voice reverberating with power. The captain, Felix realized. Chan was not just a quartermaster anymore, he was the captain. It was in his aura, in the many golden pendants hanging around his neck. In his posture. In everything.  
“Chan.” Felix’s voice trembled just a bit. He pulled away from Jisung. Chan’s gaze found his, a questioning look in them. Some pirates Felix did not recognize opened the hatches leading to lower decks. Some remained to throw the bodies overboard. Felix felt like he was in a fog, he didn’t pay attention to them.

“Can you spare them?” Felix found himself asking. Why? Perhaps Felix had still some kindness in him. Perhaps it was because if it wasn’t for Liberty, he wouldn’t have found Changbin. He wouldn’t have found the others. He would still be in Tortuga. Was this even real? Was he hallucinating? Was this a dream?  
“Why?”  
“They don’t deserve it.” Perhaps the quartermaster did. The two others didn’t.  
“And they have been nothing but kind to us.” Changbin stood next to Felix. Jisung had, by the sound of the squeak leaving his mouth, found out that Hyunjin was also aboard Liberty. Felix saw Chan’s gaze flickering in between him and Changbin, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Changbin nodding. So Chan nodded then, as well, before he forced the quartermaster to back up in the same corner as the two other crewmembers. 

“Get all of the cargo, don’t sink the ship!” Captain Chan called out. Some men were already hauling barrels of port wine to the other ship. Felix felt an arm tugging his waist. Hyunjin had finally broken away from Seungmin and was now hugging Jisung with all his might. Felix didn’t know what to do or say, he felt numb and everything at once. The arm wrapped around his waist tugged him gently again.  
“C’mon. You have to meet the rest, too.” Changbin voiced close to Felix, so close it still made Felix’s guts twist and turn, but not in a bad way. He still had somewhat hard time grasping that all of this, everything was truly, really happening. Changbin was alive. Jisung was alive. Chan was alive. Seungmin was alive. They were alive.  
“The rest?” Felix mumbled in a small voice. The rest? What rest? Did the remaining two- 

Felix could only hear a pair of feet running over the deck and a squeak of joy before someone lunged right at him, knocking the breath out of his lungs.  
“I knew it! I knew it, I felt it two weeks ago!” Jeongin’s arms wrapped tightly around Felix, and yet again Felix was left speechless. Jeongin had survived, too? Of course he had. Out of all these people he was the most likely to survive, mermaid and all that!  
“Jeongin.” Felix hugged the boy back with all his might, his voice all choked up. As Jeongin finally pulled back, Felix met the lavender eyes once again, the ones he had so deeply missed. Felix held the boy by his shoulders, fondness spreading inside his chest.  
“You have grown.” He choked out. Three years ago Felix had still been at least two inches taller than Jeongin, but now it was the other way around. Jeongin bursted out laughing that same, ever so contagious laugh of his. He was just like three years ago, Felix could feel it. Just… more mature. He pulled the boy to another hug, before letting go of him. From Jeongin’s little gasp Felix could tell that he, too, had spotted Hyunjin. 

The other pirates, strangers to Felix eyed them curiously, but not in any sort of hateful way as they carried the cargo of Liberty aboard the pirate ship. Changbin’s hand clasped around Felix’s, and he nodded towards the other ship. Felix looked around once more. Hyunjin was a crying mess, clinging onto Jeongin and Jisung and Seungmin like his life depended on it (and honestly, it probably did at this point). The door of the crew’s quarters caught to Felix’s eye.  
“Hold on.” He mumbled to Changbin and let go of his hand as he hurried over the deck. He retrieved his belongings as quickly as he could (all for that damn book and the letter). He was winded. He was speechless. He was lost. He still couldn’t entirely grasp everything that was happening around him. 

Then he saw Changbin standing in the middle of the deck, making orders to the other pirates, and Felix felt like something in him, something that had shattered a long time ago, was pieced together again. 

Changbin was alive. 

Felix couldn’t contain his smile as he reached for Changbin’s hand. It was so warm, so soft, so… fitting. It fit in Felix’s hand like it was made to do so. The thought made Felix’s heart skip a beat. Three years. It had been three years, and now the boy was in front of him again. Just mere moments ago Felix had still thought the boy was dead, that he had drowned in front of San Juan three years ago as Euryale sunk due to Felix’s father’s actions. 

“How… how did you-?” Felix didn’t know how to ask. Felix didn’t even know where to begin.  
“I’ll tell you later. We need to get you patched up, you got yourself hurt in the battle, in case you haven’t noticed.” Felix hadn’t. He glanced down, and saw how his pants had smeared with blood from mid-thigh. There was a cut slashing through the fabric. And there was another wound on his arm, dripping blood on the deck. Not a bad wound, there wasn’t that much blood. Not that Felix would know, he still had so much adrenaline pumping through his veins that he barely felt them. Changbin was here. He didn’t have time to bleed and hurt.  
“Oh.” Felix muttered.  
“Yeah, oh.” The way Changbin had laughter laced in his voice sent Felix to seventh heaven. 

“Come on now.” Changbin tightened his hold of Felix, and Felix let the boy lead him over the plank to the other ship. Felix noticed how the grip around his hand tightened as they passed the part connecting the two ships with nothing but sea swirling under their feet. It filled Felix with warmth. Felix didn’t have time to take in his surroundings, because he was engulfed in yet another hug.  
“I can’t believe you’re here! We all thought you were in Nassau!” The captain had put someone else on charge of the remaining members of Liberty.  
“Chan!” Felix called out. The hug felt comforting. It promised a better future. 

Chan ruffled Felix’s hair as he let go of Felix. His beaming smile lit up the night. For some reason, the black eyepatch fit him. Felix turned to face Changbin, but yet another figure stood up from behind Chan. It took a moment for Felix to recognize the boy in front of him.  
“Minho.” Felix breathed out. Minho nodded.  
“Felix.” He had a little smile tugging the corners of his mouth, curling them to a cat-like grin. Out of all Felix’s friend who he had assumed to be dead, Minho had changed the most. 

In the torchlight of the ship Felix could see two white crosses, like little x’s below his eyes, a few running down his neck, too. There were white streaks accompanying his inky black hair. His eyes were pitch black, but gentle, not fearful as they had been three years ago. A few crosses decorated his fingertips as well. A witch. A proper one. At the height of his powers. A small owl was sitting on Minho’s shoulder, gently nuzzling his ear.  
“She’s called Viola.” The tension was gone from Minho. Felix understood it, he wasn’t scared anymore. These people accepted him as who he was, and he didn’t have to hide anymore. It filled Felix with a tremendous amount of happiness.  
“Viola.” Felix repeated.  
“I am glad to see you’re well.”  
“I am glad to see you’re well, too.” Felix smiled. 

Seungmin and the others had finally managed to drag Hyunjin aboard the other ship as well. He was still sobbing, this time clutching Seungmin’s shirt. Felix didn’t miss the way Seungmin’s eyes were teary, too.  
“How much left?” Chan’s voice resonated from the other ship again.  
“A few barrels and chests, cap.”  
“Good.” 

Felix glanced at Changbin again and found the other boy simply staring at him, with a slightly unreadable expression on his face. Felix didn’t understand this. Changbin was right there. In front of him. All of them.  
“What?” He softly croaked out. Changbin reached for a strand of hair on Felix’s face and swiped it away, behind his ear. There was blood on his knuckles.  
“You’re here.” The other boy breathed out.  
“I am.” Felix’s voice broke. And at that moment it seemed that he had finally run out of adrenaline because the next thing he knew, his legs gave out and the world around him went black. 

* 

Felix could vaguely tell someone hoisted him from behind his knees, another arm supporting his back. His head felt heavy, he was in a haze. Exhaustion was quickly taking over him, and the wounds that he had barely felt minutes ago had finally set ablaze. A door opened, hinges creaking, and soon he was set down on something soft.  
“Felix. Felix, are you awake?” The voice pulled him out of the haze.  
“Mmyeah.” He mumbled, eyes focusing in front of him. Changbin. Felix couldn’t believe this.  
“Let’s check the wounds, yeah?” Felix could hear it, the concern laced in Changbin’s voice. Something cool pressed against Felix’s hand.  
“Drink some water for me, will you?” And Felix obliged. The world was slowly returning back to him. A bit embarrassing, blacking out like that in front of everyone just minutes after getting the love of his life back. 

Changbin tore Felix’s trousers from where the wound was with his knife as carefully as he could. He looked focused, brows knitted together in concern. Felix hissed as Changbin gently dabbed the cloth, wet with some sort of alcohol, over the wound.  
“It’s not a bad one.” He mumbled. Felix couldn’t help himself. He reached forwards, to where Changbin was kneeling in front of him and softly touched the strands of hair, lightly curling from the ends. They were a little longer than back then. Most of Changbin’s hair was gathered into a little bun at the back of his head, some strands not entirely reaching to it and flowing free. 

“Are you really real? This is not a dream? I’m not dead?” A light smile tugged Changbin’s lips.  
“Do the wounds hurt?” He asked fondly.  
“Yes.” And they did, oh, Felix’s thigh felt like it was on fire. Luckily, the wound was on the outer portion on his mid-thigh, and not close to any large veins.  
“Then this is very much real.” The candlelight danced in Changbin’s eyes. This was real. Changbin was in front of him, Felix wasn’t dreaming. 

Before Changbin took the gauze he had placed on the bed next to Felix, he pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.  
“I am real, you’re real, you’re here and not in wherever the hell you have been these three years.” He mumbled against Felix’s lips. It set a sense of comfort and belonging inside Felix. 

Changbin knelt down again, pulled what was left of the other trouser leg up and started to wrap the bandage around his thigh. Changbin was real. This whole thing wasn’t just some sick and twisted dream of his, it was not one of those dreams he had seen every once in a while during the past three years, where everything had been great and good and him and Changbin had found each other again and then he had woken up and realized it was just a dream. This was real. This was real. Felix lulled himself into that thought.

With tender fingers Changbin wrapped a tiny bow on top of the bandage before rising from the floor. Perhaps it was a little overreacting, the wound wasn’t that bad even if it did hurt. But Felix didn’t mind. Changbin sat down next to Felix, on his right side where the other wound was. It was stinging less than the one on his thigh. Both of them would surely leave some magnificent scars. Changbin pulled the blood-soaked sleeve up to take a look at the wound.  
“This isn’t bad either.” And once again Felix winced as Changbin pressed the alcohol-soaked cloth against his skin. Felix gripped the cup of water that was still in his hand. All the pain he had had to endure in his life and cleaning up wounds was the second worst one. He could never get used to it, not matter how many times he had to endure it. The worst pain, though, was a broken heart. 

Changbin pressed a little kiss on Felix’s shoulder and wrapped another piece of gauze around his arm. The wound was on Felix’s upper arm and much less deep than the one on his thigh. Just a cut. Still needed a gauze, apparently. Another little bow, another little kiss. Then Changbin’s eyes found Felix’s again, but it didn’t take long for them to start to linger. Felix felt Changbin’s breath lightly fanning over his skin.  
“Look at you, you’re all bloodied up. Who did you fight so vigorously?” Felix didn’t miss the fond smile splaying his lips. Changbin took another wet towel and dabbed it over Felix’s face, cleaning all the blood that had splattered on his skin. The touch felt nice. Felix leaned into it. 

“Some terrifying pirate crew attacked our ship and I thought I was going to die.” Felix pouted before breaking into a smile.  
“Oh? That’s horrible. Pirates are scary.” Changbin mumbled as his other hand gently held to Felix’s chin. Then he pressed a little kiss on Felix’s cheek, then on another cheek and then on his lips. Felix took in everything, all of it, all of his senses filled with Changbin. His hand curled into his shirt, tugging lightly, tugging him closer. Changbin’s other arm snaked around Felix’s waist and he pressed their foreheads together, eyes still closed. 

“I thought you would still be in Nassau. We were… we were slowly planning on sailing there.” He quietly said. Warmth spread inside Felix. They hadn’t forgotten.  
“I was in Port Royal.” Felix breathed out.  
“Oh. Well, good thing we didn’t sail there, then. We would have got a handful of your father instead of you.” Felix lightly chuckled at that.  
“What made you leave? I doubt your father let you do that.” The arm hugging Felix’s waist pulled him a bit closer. A bit more and it wouldn’t even be possible anymore.  
“I got sick of the people. Of the training. Of everything.” Changbin nodded. 

A loud clank and a few yells coming from outside broke the little spell and reminded Felix and Changbin that they were in fact, on a ship with other people. Changbin sighed and pulled back, but not before he pressed a kiss on Felix’s nose. It tickled.  
“I’ll go see what they’re up to and if we’re leaving soon.” Felix didn’t want Changbin to leave, but nevertheless he let go of his shirt. Changbin rose from the bed and quickly took a few pieces of clothing from the dresser closest to the bed.  
“Uhm. Change to these, if you want. They’re at least a little less bloody.” Felix nodded and took the clothes Changbin handed him.  
“I won’t be long.” The boy assured as he noticed the slightly concerned look on Felix’s face and he exited through the door leading to the room. 

Felix hastily changed his clothes. A white cotton shirt, and a pair of black breeches. Just the usual pirate attire. He felt a bit sad over the red shirt, which was most likely not in the condition to be worn again. As Felix got a set of new clothes on him (that smelled of Changbin), he finally took a good look at the room. 

The room Felix was in was lit with so many candles Felix wasn’t awake enough to count them. He was sitting on a large bed, next to a pair of doors that most likely lead to a balcony. The curtains were drawn, the moonlight sifted through the tinted windows on the door, illuminating the room in a soft, greenish light which seemed to mix in with the yellow light of the candles. Opposite to Felix, on the other side of the room was the door Changbin had exited from. Next to the door, one the right side was a large dresser, and next to that, on the wall on the right, bookshelf after a bookshelf. Felix couldn’t help the smile spreading on his face.  
“You sill love books, don’t you?” He whispered, but didn’t get an answer. On the coffeetable in front of the bookshelf were stacks of books, some even on the sofas surrounding the table. The sofas were regal, with gilded armrests and emerald green velvet upholstery. 

Everything else seemed to follow the same pattern of colors. The rug in the middle of the room was dark green, the handles of the dressers’ many drawers glimmered golden. Mysterious emerald green and gold mixed in with wooden brown. How so very Changbin. There were a few paintings on the wall, but Felix couldn’t make out what was painted on them. Next to the bed was a mahogany writing desk, on it a few scrolls of paper, quills and inkwells and a map. It was a map of an island with a cross drawn on the center of it. On the other wall stood another dresser, the one Changbin had got Felix his clothes from, a few of its drawers open, and next to it was a large mirror. There were a few odd-looking bottles on top of the dresser, colorful and inviting. 

The room was a lot like the one Changbin had had on Euryale. A bit bigger. A bit more regal. A lot more Changbin. A minute passed, then two. Felix could feel it, the exhaustion heaving over his shoulders. This was so much to take in. All of it. Felix took the cloth Changbin had left after him and cleaned his hands from blood. He hoped he hadn’t hurt anyone from Changbin’s crew. He most likely had. 

Felix’s head shot up as the doorknob turned. The sight of Changbin made Felix’s heart skip a beat. Again.  
“Sorry. The quartermasterly duties won’t leave me even if the love of my life has returned from the seas after three years.” The statement made Felix’s ears blush red.  
“Quartermaster?” Changbin sat down next to Felix after putting all of the wound tending equipment back to their rightful places in the lowest drawer of the dresser.  
“Mhhm.” He hummed. Of course Changbin was the quartermaster if Chan was the captain, who else? 

“Is Hyunjin okay?” Felix voiced.  
“I tried to say hi to him, but I don’t think he heard me. He doesn’t have any bad wounds if that’s what you mean. Or I wouldn’t know. He won’t let go of Seungmin.”  
“He’s uncontrollably sobbing against his shoulder, isn’t he?” A little smile found its way to Felix’s lips.  
“He is.” A laugh bloomed from Felix’s chest. Knowing how utterly broken the boy had been when Felix had found him, he doubted he would stop crying anytime soon. He most likely had just as hard time of accepting all of this to be real as Felix had. 

The smile on Felix’s lips died out. He reached with his unharmed hand to straighten on of the pendants hanging around his neck. He had got a few new scars. One was rather close to his eye, and it looked deep. But besides that, everything was like Felix had remembered it. The plush, pouty lips. The straight, noble nose. The ocean eyes. More serene than Felix had ever seen them.  
“All this time… I thought you were dead.” He whispered.  
“I’m sorry. I… I should have sent you a letter, or something, just to let you know that we’re alive. But we we’re far, too far.” Changbin wrapped both of his arms around Felix, pulling him closer. 

“How… How did you survive?” The memories were still excruciating. Made Felix’s skin crawl. Changbin smiled lightly and shook his head.  
“Too long of a story to tell tonight. We’ll tell you tomorrow.” Felix wanted desperately to know. His head was swimming with questions. He was a mess. He tried to keep the memory of that horrible night away, but he just… couldn’t. It poured back into his mind. The look on Changbin’s face as Charles Lee dragged Felix back to Victory. The explosion. The aftermath. Changbin had lost so much… 

“I’m sor-“ Felix’s whisper was cut off by Changbin pressing his lips against Felix’s. After a moment he pulled back.  
“No. Do not say that.” He tightened his embrace of Felix. One lone tear escaped through Felix’s eyelids, even if he desperately tried to blink it away.  
“I know what you’re about to say. Do not say it. It was not your fault.”  
“But you… everyone-“  
“No.” Another kiss. “I don’t want to hear you saying you’re sorry ever again for something that your father did. I do not want to hear you saying sorry for anything that happened in the past ever again. We are here, and we are here now, together, no matter what happened in the past. Understand?” 

Felix didn’t have any other choice but nod. He took Changbin’s words to his heart. And somehow… it felt like a huge weight had been taken off of his shoulders. All this time he had blamed himself. But Changbin didn’t blame him. And Felix would have to try to understand that. To believe that. The hand behind Felix’s back moved creating soft, soothing circles. They were comforting. Felix took in a shuddering breath. Changbin’s other hand moved to cup Felix’s cheek and he pressed yet another kiss against Felix’s lips. 

This time Felix did not let the boy go immediately. He wrapped his hands around Changbin’s neck, pulling him closer. He tilted his head a little, giving more access to Changbin as his tongue slightly brushed against Felix’s lower lip. All of his senses were filled with Changbin again, all Felix knew in this world right now was Changbin. He felt Changbin’s other hand slip from in between Felix’s shirt and waistband to circle little patterns against his bare skin. Everything was Changbin. Felix felt intoxicated by him. Drunk by him. 

When they finally parted, Felix was breathless. Winded. Exhausted. Changbin pressed his forehead against Felix’s once more, and Felix noticed his his eyes had got a little glassy. A little watery. Another tear rolled down Felix’s cheek, but it wasn’t a sad tear filled with regret and yearning, it was a happy tear.  
“I can’t believe I finally found you.” Changbin mumbled. It tugged Felix’s heartstrings.  
“You were searching for me?”  
“You have no idea. All the time, everywhere. I was so close to ditching everyone on this ship and sailing on my own to look for you.” The blush on Felix’s face was accompanied by a wide smile.  
“Well, now you have found me.”  
“I have.”  
“And we are here. We are alive, and we are together. We have finally found each other.” 

Changbin pressed another chaste kiss on Felix’s lips, as if a confirmation to his words:  
“And we have finally found each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> due to recent events a certain disgusting excuse of a man has been entirely removed from this fic (and all my other fics), for additional seungmin's backstory, feel free to reread chapter 13! 
> 
> the ocean eyes, oh the ocean eyes.... they're finally back they have returned from the seas! one more chapter to go, damn i'm having a hard time understanding this, this lil fic has been a part of my life so Damn long, it feels surreal to just... end it. but one more to go, so let's not bid goodbyes just yet! let me tell y'all i had the time of my life reading your comments to chapter 36 i was LAUGHING my ass off ily all <3 
> 
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	38. 38

“Good morning, sailor.” Someone murmured against the sensitive skin of Felix’s neck. The arm around his waist tightened, deepening the embrace he was currently in. Felix nuzzled closer to the person next to him, letting the familiar scent completely engulf him.  
“Morning.” Felix mumbled, very much reluctant to actually wake up. He was warm. He was comfortable, he was content. He was safe.

Felix stirred in his half-awake slumber. He had had such a great dream, he had found Changbin again after his crew had attacked Liberty, and everyone else had been there, too. Felix had been so happy. So confused, but so happy. Then, a pang of sadness hit Felix’s chest, how unfair of his brain to create such vivid dreams when he could never have that ever again in his life. For a moment Felix wished he could go back to sleep, back to that dream where he had had Changbin littering kisses all over his neck and he had felt that familiar stir of joy filling him up in the best way possible.

The person next to Felix shifted a little. Felix did not remember cuddling up to Hyunjin like this, at least usually he didn’t act like this. Perhaps the dream had… something to do with it. And Felix was quite sure Hyunjin did not smell like this either, and despite the siren being very close to him, Felix usually did not feel this safe in his embrace. Nor did they usually even sleep this close to each other. What the hell had happened last night?

And then it dawned upon Felix. The pirate attack. Battle on the decks of Liberty. The ocean eyes. Changbin. Everyone else. Felix’s eyes shot open, his whole posture tensing and backing away from the person next to him by a few inches. His panicky gaze was met with the ocean eyes, deep and calm, lashes still laced with sleep.  
“It wasn’t a dream?” Felix whispered, clearly not believing the sight in front of him.  
“What was a dream?” Changbin croaked out. His voice was a little rough, a little hoarse, Felix felt like putty.  
“Everything.” Everything. Changbin being alive. Everyone else being alive. Changbin let go of Felix to rub the sleep away from his eyes before his arm found its place on Felix’s waist again. He pulled Felix closer.  
“No, it wasn’t a dream.”  
“You’re alive.”  
A little smile tugged the corners of Changbin’s mouth.  
“Are you going to ask me that question every time you see me from now on?”  
“You’re really here.”

Changbin groaned before moving a little forward and pressing a kiss on Felix’s mouth just to shut him up. The kiss was real. This was real. Changbin was real. Felix’s hand curled to take a hold of the front of Changbin’s shirt.  
“I am. And you are here. And we are both alive.” Changbin said in between the kisses, deepening one by one. Felix whined as Changbin traveled down his neck, planting more kisses here and there, softly nibbling the skin. Felix was still feeling the sleep, but somehow he had never been this awake, either. He was hyperaware of Changbin’s presence, so close to him. Felix wrapped his hands around Changbin’s neck, pulling him up into another kiss, languid and soft.

If he was not going to be allowed to wake up like this for the rest of his life, he was going to start a mutiny.  
“Do I have to sleep in the crew’s quarters in the future?” Felix mumbled against Changbin’s mouth. He could feel Changbin purring with laughter underneath his fingertips. Felix pulled back just a smidgen to look at the boy he had so horribly longed for three years (and now he was here, in his arms, holy fuck, Felix just couldn’t wrap his head around the reality, so he decided to stay in this dream for as he could).  
“No, you don’t. There’s a reason this bed is for two people and not just one.”  
“Aw, you thought about me while getting yourself a bed? Or do you have someone else?” Felix pouted, joking. For a fraction of a second Changbin halted, Felix could sense the slightly horrified look in his eyes.  
“There was never anyone else. There will never be anyone else. There could never be anyone else.” Changbin muttered, the tips of his ears tinting pink. He didn’t dare to look Felix in the eyes. And oh, how that tugged Felix’s heartstrings. He snuggled closer and planted a kiss to his jaw.

“How did you even know to wait for me? I could have been dead.” Changbin shook his head at Felix’s words.  
“I heard… the news. That you had been found. Your father had found you. So I knew you were alive, but we were far away back then, so there was no chance of coming to get you. And then I heard nothing else. I just… hoped we would cross paths at some point again. And we did. And we would have, there was a reason why we returned to the Caribbean, you know.”  
“You came… for me?” A little lump made itself comfortable in Felix’s throat. Changbin nodded:  
“And to get rid of that fucking Pirate Slayer since the Brethren aren’t capable of doing anything. And the seas are… better here than in the East Indies. More ships. More to heist.” Felix snorted at that, pretended to not be as affected by Changbin’s words as he was. And he had thought he had been completely alone, all these years…

Changbin sensed Felix’s shift in his mood and hugged him closer. The soft, greenish light of the room made Changbin’s eyes look warm.  
“I… There’s just so many questions…” Felix huffed.  
“I know. And I’ll answer everything, but not right now.” Felix could hear Changbin’s tummy rumbling. What was the time? How long had they even slept? Where were the others?  
“Wait, wha-“  
“Lunchtime, I think. Chan stopped by earlier, but he told me to let you sleep.”  
“And you have been awake all this time?!” Felix pulled back to glare at Changbin. A rosy blush dusted over Changbin’s nose.  
“…Yes.”  
“You could have just woken me up! Changbin! You are the quartermaster, you have duties! In case you forgot!” Changbin snorted and planted a kiss on Felix’s nose.  
“I think the captain very much understands my reluctancy of leaving the bed this morning. Or any mornings in the future.” And this time it was Felix who flushed three shades redder.

A knock came from the door, with the sound of someone’s voice:  
“Luisa says she will kick both of your asses if you won’t haul yourself up and to the kitchen right now. Lunchtime is almost over.”  
“We’re coming!” Changbin loudly called out to the voice. Felix arched his eyebrow.  
“Luisa is our new cook. An older lady, I know you’ll love her. And that was Will, one of our younger crewmembers. Used to be part of the navy or something, or his father was, I can’t remember, but he’s one hell of a swordsman. I think you two will get along quite well.” Changbin explained as he rose from the bed and pulled Felix up from where he had been laying. Felix now noticed that Changbin had placed his satchel next to the bed. He winced as the wounds made their presence known.

“Do they hurt?”  
“They’re bearable. Not bad.” Felix tried to brush his hair with his fingers to look a little more presentable. He was quite certain he looked like a mess. Then he realized that Changbin looked like a mess, too, and that really did not matter on this ship in the first place, anyway. Felix reached for a few strands of Changbin’s hair and whisked them to their rightful places (he tried to ignore the little pinkish lovebites decorating Changbin’s neck).  
“Your hair is longer.” And it was. And it wasn’t tied right now, so it fell a bit over Changbin’s eyes, curled along his jawline. And holy hell, was he handsome. Breathtaking. How had Felix got so lucky?

The hair wasn’t the only thing that had changed. Changbin was… clearly stronger. Somewhat bigger, even if Felix was still taller by an inch. The white shirt he was wearing accentuated his shoulders in a way that made Felix feel all warm, Changbin clearly wasn’t the scrawny boy Felix had first got to know three years ago. There was sharpness in Changbin that had not been there three years ago. He had matured. He had… been through a lot. Felix knew that look in his eyes.

The cheeks had stayed the same, though. Full and so damn adorable!

The daylight showed Felix more of Changbin than last night’s moonlight had: more scars. One on his throat, not deep, not deadly, but long and thin. Most likely from a very sharp sword. A rather large on the high of his cheekbone, it had most likely run deep. Little, odd-looking scars on his chest, hidden behind the pendants. Felix moved them away a bit, the skin of Changbin’s chest heaving underneath his fingertips.  
“These are-“  
“Splinters. From the explosion.” Felix felt his gut twist, and not in a welcoming way.  
“They’re old and healed.” Changbin took Felix’s hand and placed it over his heart: “And despite those this is still beating for you, so forget them.” Felix could feel it, the blush dusting over his cheeks.  
“You can’t say things like that just out of the blue I can’t han-“ And another kiss.  
“Is this funny to you?” Felix asked, as if offended. The smirk on Changbin’s lips gave him away. He just knew which strings to pull, even after three years, didn’t he?  
“Slightly. Worth seeing that blush on your face. Come on, I’m hungry, and I want you to see the ship.”

Felix let Changbin take his hand and pull him towards the door. Excitement filled him, oh, he wanted to see the ship so badly! Then his eyes caught a glimpse of himself in the large mirror with golden frames, and he froze, petrified. Then he flushed red from head to toe.  
“Changbin!” He squeaked. If the other boy had had little, slightly pinkish lovebites here and there, Felix sure did not have just slightly pinkish nor just a few here and there. A trail of redness followed the line down his neck, disappearing under his shirt.  
“Really?!” Changbin shrugged, clearly anything but ashamed of himself:  
“I missed you.”

***

The ship was unfathomably beautiful. Felix couldn’t help but stare at the sight in front of him in astonishment, mouth slightly agape. He was still standing in front of the main deck, the door Changbin had just led him out of still ajar behind him. His hand rested on Felix’s waist, a little smug grin playing on his lips.  
“Wow.” Felix breathed out.

Moonlight had clearly not made the ship justice. The first thing Felix noticed were the three tall masts as he stepped out in the open. The sails, full of wind, were dark green, bordering on emerald. The topsails had golden patterns dancing on them, creating swirls that looked like they were glimmering in the sunlight. The masts themselves, along with the rest of the ship, were created of wood so dark Felix initially thought they were black. And the golden patterns didn’t just stop in the topsails – the handles of the doors seemed to be gilded (or at least painted golden), even some of the cannons on the main deck and forecastle were painted golden. The forecastle stretched far, and if Felix was right, so did the quarterdeck. This ship was bigger than Euryale had been. 

“Wow.” He breathed out again. The sunlight reflecting against the golden little details here and there made the ship look like it had some sort of magic spell on it.  
“It’s built the same way as Euryale.” Changbin said. So, the gun deck and the storage deck and the bilge were below their feet. Felix turned around to look up to the quarterdeck, Jisung was at the helm and waved at him.  
“Glad to see you’re up!” He called out. Felix waved at him and smiled; he still couldn’t form the words he needed to express the awe he was in, nor an answer to Jisung. This ship was enormous. And it was beautiful.

Changbin took Felix by the hand and lead him up the stairs to the quarterdeck. Chan was hunched over the compass table behind the helm. A pair of doors lead to another room on the quarter deck, the captain’s cabin, most likely. Chan’s cabin. Changbin lead Felix up another pair of stairs, and from the upper quarter deck he could see the whole ship in front of him.  
“This is incredible.” He finally managed to utter. Changbin looked proud of himself.  
“This is just like the one… the one that you spoke to me about.” Felix could remember it, Changbin had told him what kind of ship he would like to own. Changbin nodded.  
“When we bought her, she was not in the condition to sail, so we did some work and… this is the result.”  
“Some work? Are you even hearing yourself?” Changbin simply shrugged at Felix’s words.  
“So, on top of being a good pirate and a sailor, you are also a carpenter. Got it.” Changbin snorted, Felix couldn’t help the smile on his face.

Felix didn’t miss the golden stern ornament reaching for the sky. It was a lot like the one on Euryale had been, Felix could see that the swirls had been placed in such a way that one could climb on top of it and sit there for hours on end. The three lanterns on top of the ornament were gilded.  
“I don’t think even the king’s ships are this beautiful…” Felix muttered, more to himself than to Changbin. The sea wind pushed Felix’s hair out of his face. The sails rustled. Felix felt warm.

Down the stairs to the main deck, suddenly Felix heard a squeak behind him. Before he had time to turn around, he felt someone run past him and fling themselves on Changbin. Hyunjin had seemingly finally let go of Seungmin, as the cook quickly followed behind him.  
“Felix.” Seungmin smiled, before engulfing Felix in a warm hug. The smile had a hint of worry, and Felix sure knew why.  
“Ican’tbelieveyou’realive.” Felix heard Hyunjin mumble through his sobs against Changbin’s shoulder. Felix let go of Seungmin, just to find Hyunjin in Changbin’s embrace. The quartermaster looked a little puzzled, but had a happy grin stretching over his mouth.  
“I’vemissedyousomuchyouhavenoidea.” Hyunjin wailed. Seungmin sighed next to Felix.  
“I missed you too, you little siren.”  
“That bad?” Felix asked from Seungmin.  
“He barely slept.”  
“Give him time. He really needs it.” Seungmin nodded at Felix.

Hyunjin let go of Changbin once his sobs eased down a bit, his eyes were red and puffy (and he still looked ethereal, and Felix was a bit jealous, he hoped he looked at least half pretty as Hyunjin when he cried), and then he spotted Felix, and pulled him into another hug as well. Felix was slightly surprised, but hugged the boy back nevertheless.  
“We found them.” He mumbled.  
“We did.” Felix caressed his back.  
“Felix, we found them!”  
“We did, Hyunjin.”

And then the door behind Felix opened;  
“Minho!” Hyunjin squeaked and let go of Felix. Next thing he knew, Hyunjin was hugging Minho, who looked just as surprised as Changbin had looked. His little owl had got scared of Hyunjin, and was flying around his head, screeching loudly. Changbin let out a chuckle, before he took Felix by his hand again. He looked at the siren with fondness in his eyes.

Felix let Changbin lead him to the forecastle. He noticed the little curious glances he got from the crew, none of them hateful. People of all ages, old and young, all kinds of people. From everywhere around the world.

The waves crashed against the forecastle, some of them splashing nearly over the deck. The sea was a little restless today. A few pirates were taking a nap on the forecastle, leaning against the mast. Felix walked up to the very front, just behind the bowsprit and leaned forwards. As he had expected, below the bowsprit was a statue of a woman. Golden. Not weather-beaten like Euryale had been.  
“What is she called?” Felix asked from Changbin, who was standing behind him.  
“Calliope.”

Felix’s heart stopped for a brief moment, before he turned to look at Changbin. And then his heart felt like swelling.  
“Calliope.” He repeated. He remembered it, the time he had told Changbin he would name a ship that. He had been half-joking, not really putting his mind to it.  
“You didn’t…” If it weren’t for the two napping pirates, Felix would have kissed the hell out of Changbin right now, so instead he just… awkwardly nudged his arm and tried to desperately hide his blush. God, why was Changbin being like this and why couldn’t Felix stop blushing at his words?  
“I thought that even if our paths wouldn’t cross anytime soon, you would at some point hear a story of a fearless pirate ship called Calliope.” Felix looked at him and didn’t know how to feel.  
“You give me too much credit. I wouldn’t have been smart enough to know it was you.” Changbin snorted, rolled his eyes before snaking an arm around Felix’s waist once again. Like it belonged there (because it did).  
“I know you, and I know for a fact you would have got curious. And then I would have done… something and you would have known it was us.”  
“Something.” Felix arched his eyebrow, snickering.  
“Yeah, I never got that far on my plan.”  
“I’m glad you didn’t have to go that far with your plan.”  
“I’m glad, too.”

***

The day passed by way too quickly. So many new names, Felix’s head was a whirlwind. So many new things. So much new to see and feel and do! Felix was exhilarated and exhausted at the same time. Chan had done his little ‘captain-speech’ as Jeongin had called it and introduced Hyunjin and Felix as part of the crew. They were not, surprisingly, deckboys, but Felix had been promoted to a chart reader and Hyunjin was a regular sailor now, just as before. Felix was so glad he wouldn’t have to scrub any more decks daily (even though he still couldn’t run away from the weekly cleaning days, apparently).

The crew had been welcoming so far. Most of them already knew who Felix was, and Felix had a hunch it had something to do with Jisung and Chan. The crew consisted of roughly forty people, a little over, and Felix was pretty certain he had shaken all of their hands today. A little bit of sadness had filled his chest as he had noticed that the only familiar faces from Euryale were his friends, and rest of the people were completely new.

Hyunjin was fine. A little sniffly, a little cautious, but he was fine. Three years had been rough to him, all of them noticed that. It would take a moment for him to get used to the fact that no one on this ship was there to kill him or take advantage of him. He clung to Seungmin, and if Seungmin wasn’t around, he clung to Felix. Jeongin was slowly coaxing the boy out of his shell, and Felix, for the first time in the weeks he and Hyunjin had spent together, could see the boy smiling genuinely and almost care-free. It made Felix happy.

“Dinnertime!” Luisa’s voice reverberated through the deck as the bell next to the kitchen door chimed. Changbin had been right – Luisa was an incredible woman. She reminded Felix of his mother, but in a good way. Not in a sad way. Not in a way that made his chest ache. The kitchen was packed with benches and stools and tables, at the farthest corner was the actual kitchen part with ovens and pots and pans and everything they needed – the kingdom of Luisa and Seungmin. Torches and lanterns lined up the walls, all gilded, naturally. Behind the kitchen Felix could see a door, leading to a storage room.

The clamor in the kitchen felt so familiar, it made Felix feel welcomed. Apparently they were in for some sort of dinner of victory, and the tables were nearly bent with so many different kinds of foods Felix needed a moment to take it all in. It smelled like spiced rum and fried meat, along with something fresh. Jeongin, plates in his hands, ushered Felix towards a large table in the corner, which the crew knew as the “quartermaster’s table”. Felix decided not to ask further questions, but then again, he really didn’t need to. There was always some kind of unwritten seating chart in these places.

Felix ended up sitting in between Changbin and Jeongin. Opposite to him were seated Jisung and Minho. Hyunjin took a seat next to Jeongin, and Felix noticed how his fingers curled around the hem of Jeongin’s shirt. The mermaid boy didn’t mind it, of course he didn’t, he could understand the world better than any other of them and knew why Hyunjin was acting the way he did. Chan sat at the other end of the table, and Seungmin soon joined them.

The chatter, the chinking and rattling of the plates and mugs, it all felt so familiar, Felix realized. This had once been part of his life, and now it would be part of his life again. Chan smiled from ear to ear, the tricorne hat placed next to him on the table. The green feather accentuated the golden buttons of the hat, otherwise dark brown. It suited him. As did being the captain. Felix had only been aboard Calliope one day and he could feel it, hear it, how the crew respected their captain. He was liked, he wasn’t distant, he was just… himself. Seungmin seemed like he had been stopped in time, he hadn’t changed at all, at least not to Felix’s eye. The red hair was still there, so were the sad puppy eyes. His comments had got snarkier. His eyes glimmered in the candlelight. His laugh had got louder, but less frequent. 

Jeongin’s lavender eyes looked dark violet in the kitchen light. His smile was just as wide and warm as Felix had remembered it to be. His words were just as wise as Felix had remembered them to be. Somehow, Felix felt like nothing had changed between him and the mermaid. The closeness, the familiarity of the boy made Felix feel like they had never been separated in the first place, like the three—year gap had never existed. They joked like they had used to. They could enjoy each other’s company in silence like they had used to. It was comforting. Everything had changed, but there was still something left of the old.

Then Felix’s eyes travelled to the pair sitting in front of him, and the change was most evident to the eye. Minho was still quiet, but not because he was uncomfortable, but because he was simply observant rather than talkative. The eyes were calm, yet always alert. He was dressed in black, the robes cascading down his shoulders in a way that made Felix believe the fabric was weaved of moonlight. The golden bracelets with emeralds gave it away that he was indeed part of the crew of Calliope. The white crosses on his face created a striking contrast, but somehow they didn’t seem too out of ordinary. They looked like they had always been there. Felix couldn’t wait to get to know Minho again, or how he used his… magic. Did the crew benefit from it? Did Minho use it in battles?

Jisung had matured. The boatswain. Also, the second in charge if the quartermaster was not available. Jisung was also in charge of navigating and all of the charts, and that meant Felix was working for him now. At least sort of. The cheeks weren’t so full anymore. His gaze was sharper, no longer dreamy and wandering. His whole demeanor seemed more focused, more in control of himself. He still had those little bottle pendants hanging around his neck, now there was just a few more.

And then Felix’s eyes fell onto Jisung and Minho’s linked hands.

Oh.

Felix couldn’t help the small grin stretching over his lips. He caught Jisung’s eye, and the boy broke into a smile so wide it lit up the whole room. Minho turned his head slightly to see what the fuss was about, and Felix didn’t miss the fond look in his eyes as he glanced at Jisung, the corner of his mouth twitching.

Oh, how Felix remembered it, Jisung pining after Minho for days on end, even if he tried to mask it for just friendly infatuation. He was happy the two had found each other.

The chatter, the clamor continued on and on, shifting from daily topics to another. Felix enjoyed it, every second of it, even if he himself couldn’t really take part on the conversations just yet. And he didn’t want to. He wanted to bask in it, in the feeling of belonging. In the feeling of home.

“So… Felix. What have you been up to, you know, for the past three years?” Chan finally turned towards Felix and asked the question that had burned on everyone’s tongues. Felix could hear the friendly mockery in his voice. He snorted:  
“Oh, you know, landlubber stuff. Lived in Port Royal for two years because my father wanted me out of his sight and tried desperately to fill tax reports every damn night. Not to forget all the math lessons and dinners I had to attend as part of my training to become a governor.”  
“Delightful. How the hell did you end up on that puny merchant ship?”  
“Oh, well, you know…”

And so Felix told them. Everything from the start till the end. How his life had been after he had been taken back to Nassau. Changbin squeezed his hand as Felix told his friends that they had never made it, his mother had passed away before they had got back. He told them about the horrible year, spent in haze. With every word he uttered from his chest, a feeling of heaviness left him, set him free. He told them about Port Royal, and how he had left that place. About The Lady of the Sea. About Scylla. About finally getting to Tortuga and finding Hyunjin. Hyunjin joined the story, and together they told the end, how they had nowhere to go, and so they had made a plan to sail to London, and then to god knows where. Hyunjin didn’t tell his side of the past three years, he wasn’t ready, nor was he comfortable enough just yet. Felix had a hunch Seungmin would find out eventually, at least. Or, by the way he was holding to Hyunjin’s hand, he most likely already knew.

“But how about you?” Felix turned to his friends, seemingly quite taken aback by his story. He noticed how some crewmembers sitting behind them had scooted closer to hear his and Hyunjin’s little tale.  
“What happened… after the… explosion?” Felix’s voice trailed off towards the end.  
“I mean I-I thought you were all dead.” He swallowed, the heaviness back in his chest. He couldn’t help it, the guilt still stirring at the back of his head. Changbin placed a shooting arm around his waist, he most likely knew what Felix was thinking about.

“Well, that’s a long story.” Chan glanced around their little group.  
“To make it slightly shorter, let’s just say that we all didn’t end up in the same place initially. After the explosion, most of the crew was dead, some drowned, some dead from the battle, I was hanging on to an empty barrel to stay afloat and searched for survivors. I noticed Changbin was still alive, barely holding on to a piece of wood, and then I noticed… that Seungmin was alive. And…” Chan glanced at Seungmin, who was looking at the table, clearly trying to hold his tears back, lower lip quivering. Just as Chan was about to continue talking, he opened his mouth:

“I thought you were dead.” He quietly said, turning to Hyunjin.  
“You weren’t breathing. I… I hauled you on that piece of hull, I… I tried to wake you up but you just didn’t. I thought I had lost you and” A sniffle; “And I just couldn’t hold on any longer and I… let go of you and you floated away and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, I really shouldn’t hav-“ Hyunjin stopped Seungmin’s babbling by pressing his fingers on his lips.  
“Don’t. We’re here now. That’s all that matters.” He whispered, barely audible.

Seungmin didn’t say anything else. He simply nodded and pressed his head against Hyunjin’s shoulder, the other boy wrapped his arms around him. Felix could see his shoulders shaking. He felt sorry for the boy. So incredibly sorry.  
“Then I found Jeongin, holding on to another barrel. But no one else, everyone else was dead. Or so we thought.” Chan glanced at Minho and Jisung.  
“I do not know how, but there we stayed. For hours, floating on the pieces of wood as Euryale sunk. I knew we were on a rather used trail in front of San Juan, so I counted on that, and lo and behold, a ship approached us. Or well, it was rather far away from us until we started yelling and got them to come and get us with boats. And that’s how we ended up in San Juan, on a merchant ship.”

“We spent a few weeks there, until we got information of a merchant ship sailing to the East Indies, and so we boarded that. And then we boarded another ship, and somehow ended up in Singapore in a few months.” Changbin continued:  
“After that we sort of settled down for a while. Did some money and bought Calliope together. Jeongin was our real moneymaker, giving sailors forecasts for their entire journeys and they paid well for them. Then we started building Calliope to a better shape. Took us nearly a year to get her where she is now. Then we started recruiting members, and soon we had a crew of forty people, all capable of sailing and loyal to us.”

“Then we sailed back here. A couple of months ago we stopped by Tortuga, and Jeongin wanted to go to a little wicked magic shop around the corner. That’s where we found those two.” Changbin nodded towards Minho and Jisung.  
“Jeongin screamed so loud I thought someone was trying to kill him.” Chan added.  
“Then we all ran into the shop and there those two were.” Felix glanced at Jisung, who was smiling from ear to ear.  
“And after that they joined our crew. And then we just… sailed around the Caribbean. Heisted smaller ships. Fished for information about the Pirate Slayer, and then took it down. And now we’re here. And you’re here. Thank god, otherwise we would have ended up heisting the whole town of Nassau and you wouldn’t have been there. Changbin would have gone mad.” Felix giggled at that.

But he was also in awe. These people… they just had the Lady Fortune’s grace, didn’t they?  
“Then what- where- what happened to you?” Felix turned to Jisung and Minho. How did they end up with a magic boutique in Tortuga?

“Do you want to tell or do I tell?” Jisung glanced at Minho. Minho turned his dark gaze towards Felix.  
“I was… aware of our whereabouts at the time of the explosion. I knew we weren’t that far from the shore so I… searched for Jisung amongst the bodies and when I finally found him, I dragged us both to the shore.”  
“He also found us a boat that was still in an alright shape. And two oars.” Minho nodded at Jisung’s addition.  
“I wasn’t sure that all the others were still alive, so I didn’t stay to search for them.” His voice was still so soft, so soothing: “This was right after the explosion, so everyone else were still slightly disoriented or unconscious. Then we rowed to the shore. Found an abandoned house in the jungle. Spent there the next year. I worked on my magic, Jisung mapped the stars. And learned how to read. We visited the nearby villages every once in a while.” Jisung nodded.

“Then we slowly realized that that place had nothing to give to us, so we left. Ended up in San Juan that was only a few days’ travel away. Found a ship. Sailed with it to Vera Cruz. A pirate crew attacked it, and with them we sailed to Tortuga. And then we stayed there, made a living out of that shop, until one day Jeongin walked in through the doors. And that was how we ended up here.”

"Wow.” Was all Felix could say. All of them, at some point, had been so far away yet so close to Felix. This was a lot to take in. All of it.  
“I…” Felix was speechless. He noticed the little mischievous glint in Jisung’s eyes. The quirk in the corner of Minho’s lip. The fond smile on Chan’s face as he glanced at the people sitting around him.  
“That’s. Wow.” Changbin snorted before snuggling closer. Jeongin giggled. The brief silence filled Felix’s heart with comfort. It was so surreal, how they had been separated, and somehow still found each other and were sitting around the same table again.

“Well, Felix. Have you learned any fancy new sword moves recently? I think the crew could use some swift royal moves.” Chan’s eye glimmered in the candlelight.

***

A week had passed by. Every morning Felix had woken up to fluttering morning kisses and Changbin’s morning voice. Every lunch he had sat with his friends with a varying company of new people. Will was nice, he was trained with swords, but not as trained as Felix. Marva spoke sometimes in riddles, most of her face had been burnt years ago, but her presence was calm and grounding. Rubye was her girlfriend, and the red curls cascading down her back from beneath the green bandana made Felix somehow believe that she was Calliope personified. She had to be. There was no other explanation for someone being so divinely beautiful.

Cutthroat-Tomás was good fun, but somehow also very scary. Lady Xu did not speak English, but somehow she understood everything said to her. Celyn and Cleo were twins, they both had silvery hair. Cleo had taken Felix under their wing, showing him more of the ship than Changbin had, since he happened to be the quartermaster and actually had some things to do and couldn’t be around Felix all the time, even if he so wished.

Unfortunately, Felix and Hyunjin had hurt people in the battle. A few of the crewmembers had been laid to their watery graves after the battle, two of them had had their eyes dug out. A third one had also had his eyes clawed out, but he had survived, and now slowly learned to live his life on the ship without eyes. Felix and Hyunjin felt guilty, of course they did, but Changbin, as well as most of the crew had assured them that they shouldn’t feel guilty, they were only protecting themselves, they had, after all, thought they were going to die (and for a moment, they were).

Felix had learned so many new things during the passing week. The ice between him and Jisung was gone. Felix had tried to apologize for what had happened three years ago again, but Jisung had immediately shut him up, it wasn’t Felix’s fault, it was all but that. He also couldn’t properly hear with his left ear anymore, because he had lost it in the battle, and it had taken Felix half a week to learn that he had to either yell at Jisung or turn to his right side to talk to him. The room next to Changbin’s belonged to Minho (and Jisung), and the little owl Minho had adopted from the jungle (or rather, the owl had adopted Minho) was especially fond of Hyunjin.

Jeongin was now known better as the healer of the crew. He had a huge storage full of herbs and worts, and he had actually bought a few medical books from San Juan ages ago. Felix made a mental note to buy him a few more in case they would visit any other city than Tortuga soon. Jeongin’s herbs were also the reason Felix’s little battle wounds were nothing but scars now, and they no longer hurt. Magical, he really was.

Hyunjin had at some point realized that he was no longer in danger, and half-way through the week he had been just as before, climbing up the shrouds, hanging from there upside down while tying the sail back in its place, Seungmin looking slightly concerned after him from the decks. Yesterday, on a sunny afternoon Seungmin had pulled Felix to a corner, safe from other people and hugged the breath out of Felix, mumbling a thousand thank yous on his shoulder, nearly crying. Felix had hugged him back and told him that it was okay, he had done nothing to deserve the thanks. Then he had looked Seungmin in the eyes and understood that Hyunjin had most likely told Seungmin where and how Felix had found him. And that Felix had killed people for the siren in order to save him.

They didn’t have a heading right now. Chan had asked Jisung and Felix to count some bearings for him, so he most likely had a little plan. The crew didn’t mind, apparently, all of them knew they would have to stop by Tortuga or some smaller city soon to sell all of their cargo they obtained from Liberty and to stock up with food and gunpowder.

Felix was currently sitting on the table next to the helm on the quarter deck. Changbin was steering the wheel, eyebrows in a slightly angry frown to block out the sun that was shining directly at his eyes. His skin was glowing golden in the light, the golden jewelry glimmering as if they were created of magic. Felix could rest his eyes in the view for an eternity.  
“Are you going to just stare at me for the rest of the night?” Changbin muttered under his breath.  
“Would you disapprove of that?” Felix tilted his head a little to the left, a lazy smile on his face. He leaned back a little, propped his weight on his hands behind him.  
“Yes. It’s distracting.”  
“You say that like you haven’t touched or kissed me with every chance you have got for the past seven days, no matter if I have been working or not.” Changbin stuck his tongue out at Felix, before letting go of the wheel.  
“Oh no!” He exclaimed, faking a concern and throwing his hands up; “The wheel, someone steer the ship! Felix, you have got to help me!”

Felix let out a laugh before standing up and taking a hold of the wheel. The wooden handles pulled to the left, so Felix turned them slightly to the right. To the starboard side. Felix let his eyes travel over the deck. Jeongin and Jisung were huddled over some sort of board game Minho had brought for them. Chan and Minho were sitting next to them, deep in conversation. Some other crewmembers were playing that old dice game Felix still couldn’t properly understand, barrels as their stools. Hyunjin and Seungmin were sitting on the forecastle deck, their backs facing the rest of the crew. Hyunjin had his head resting on Seungmin’s shoulder.

Home. They had all found their way back home.

The setting sun dyed everything orange. The sky was slowly turning pink and darker violet behind their backs, Felix could see a few stars shining already. The sky would be clear for tonight. A few seagulls screeched somewhere far, implying that they were sailing close to land. The waves rippled peacefully against the hull of Calliope, swaying it calmly from side to side. The wind was just enough to push them forwards on their journey towards the setting sun, the sails rustling with every breath. Felix could hear laughter emanating from the lower decks, where most of the crew were seated around a table, focused on a game of cards.

Felix sighed, a bloom of happiness swelling inside his chest. For a second he felt like exploding. Then Changbin wrapped his arms around Felix and nuzzled his face against his shoulder.  
“You know it’s just… it’s so surreal that you’re finally here.” He could hear Changbin mumbling.  
“Tell me about it. A week ago I thought you were all dead. I was ready to sail to Europe to go say hi to Eric.”  
“We can still go say hi to Eric.” Felix grinned and leaned into Changbin’s embrace.  
“That would be amazing. Jisung could use to see an actual city since he’s constantly telling me Tortuga is big. But not yet. I’m fairly sure the folks in London will soon hear of my disappearance, so we’ll have to wait for the dust to settle down.” 

Changbin nodded. Felix turned the wheel slightly to the port side. Changbin circled to Felix’s right side. Felix could feel it, Changbin’s gaze on him. And it didn’t just linger and move away, so Felix turned to face the boy. He seemed to be in his thoughts, that little crease in between his eyebrows deepening.  
“What?” Felix asked in a soft voice.  
“Nothing.” Changbin snapped back to reality, a blush dusting over his cheeks.  
“I’m not buying that. What is it?”

Changbin remained quiet for a few moments, like he was weighing the words he was about to say in his mind. Then he finally blurted them out, completely unceremonious, in the bluntest way possible:

“You know that I love you, right?”

It took a few heartbeats for Felix to properly understand the depth of Changbin’s words. His eyes, deep as the ocean were serious, and filled with such an amount of emotion Felix felt like drowning.

Of course he knew that. He knew it every morning Changbin woke him up with kisses. He knew it every night when the turning of the book pages along with the rippling of waves lulled him to sleep, head on Changbin’s lap. He knew it every day, he could see it, feel it from every aspect of Changbin’s existence.

But somehow, when he said it out loud, it all felt so overwhelming. It all felt so real. Of course Felix knew it, but he just had never been able to form words around it.

“I love you too.” Felix whispered. Like the ocean was vast.

_I hope that you will live a life that you are content with, and you will find true happiness. Love, your mother._

Oh, how Felix wanted to tell her that he had found it. The life he was content with. And he had found happiness, right here, next to Changbin, in his embrace, hands on the steering wheel of Calliope, drowning into the ocean eyes.

Changbin leaned in closer, his arm around Felix’s waist tightening. Felix’s eyelids fluttered close as Changbin pressed his lips against Felix’s. Felix could feel it, all the love Changbin poured into the kiss. And so, Felix answered to it with all the love he could muster up from himself, letting the other know that he, too, was deeply in love. Changbin’s presence engulfed him, from head to toe, sending sparks down his spine. His lips were soft, and so, so, so familiar. Felix was home. He truly was finally home.

When Changbin drew back, Felix felt breathless. Winded. Loved. He only now noticed that he had completely abandoned the steering wheel as he had wrapped his arms around Changbin, and now Changbin’s other hand, the one that was not wrapped around Felix, was lazily moving the wheel to the port side. Felix would have felt embarrassed, but honestly, he could care less, his boyfriend was the quartermaster and perfectly capable of steering the ship with one hand, even if he was occupied with kissing the breath out of Felix.

Felix took hold of the handles again and turned to face the way they were going, ears tinting pink. They had the whole world in front of them. So many possibilities, so many places to sail to. So much to see. Felix couldn’t wait for what the future had in store for them. Changbin pressed his jaw against Felix’s shoulder and let out a content sigh. Felix had never been this happy in his life before. He had never felt this loved before. He had never felt this peaceful before.

“So, captain. What’s for us in the horizon?” Changbin muttered against Felix’s skin, a hint of amusement in his voice. Felix leaned back into the touch. An adventurous glint ignited in his eyes:

“Tell me, quartermaster. Have you ever heard of the lost treasure of Flor de la Mar?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we are here. unfortunately, in order for new things to begin, old things must end first, the good and the bad. i have so many emotions and so many things to say that i can't even form sentences around them. first of all, this fic has truly been a journey. i have been writing this for over two years now (with a nine-month break and smaller breaks here and there), so it has been quite some time already. this story has grown with me, i have grown with it as a person and as a writer, it has given me so much, and i am very glad that over two years ago i decided to start writing this. back then the wip was only thirteen chapters with much less of plot in between, but i am very glad that it turned out to be this fully-fleshed story that has given a lot of people a place to escape, a safe haven, as it was intended to in the beginning, for me, and for you all. 
> 
> second of all, even if oceanbound has come to an end, the entire story has not. i have promised to write a spin-off for minsung, and i may have write that for other people as well, but i'm not making any promises of those yet as i am working on three other fics currently with the spin-off. if you want, you can subscribe to the series oceanbound is part of (stories sung in the sunken sailor's inn) to get an email notification when i post a new story that is part of the oceanbound realm. 
> 
> third of all, thank you.  
thank you all who have been here from the start. thank you all who have joined us along the journey. thank you all who will be reading this in the future. special thank you to all of me friends who had to listen to me having a mental breakdown after a mental breakdown over this story. thank you all for letting me tell you this little story, thank you for your kind comments, your reactions, your words. i have treasured every single one of them in my heart, and i will be keeping them in there forever. thank you so incredibly much for sticking through this journey with me, thank you so much. i love you all so very much, thank you. i hope you all took a dive beneath the surface, or climbed up the shrouds of the ship, felt the sea breeze in your hair and up and above all, enjoyed the world of oceanbound!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dulcetchan)  
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